Who Is Going to Semifinals?! The CrossFit Quarterfinals Update Show

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

Bam, we’re live. Welcome to the CrossFit Games update Show. I’m Sev Matian from the Sev podcast. I don’t know if I’ve ever said that before. Have you ever heard me say that? Andrew Hiller in the lower right hand corners live from Bill. You have heard me say that.

Taylor Self (00:14):


Sevan Matossian (00:15):

Andrew Hiller from Hiller Fit lower right hand corner from Bill Leahy from top right hand corner, Taylor Self from Sentinel Training lower left hand corner. John Young from JY Barbell, the man who very soon will be taking on the newly released workout. Robin,

Taylor Self (00:37):

When did you guys release a workout named Robin?

Andrew Hiller (00:41):

We haven’t yet.

Taylor Self (00:42):


Andrew Hiller (00:43):

But we have it.

Sevan Matossian (00:45):

Quarterfinals are over. It is the most difficult year in the history of CrossFit to get to the semifinals. Only 40 people allowed. The evolution of the sport has brought us the fittest human beings ever. John could have been the CrossFit Games champ in 2006. 2007. 2008. 2009. 2010. 2011. 2012.

Taylor Self (01:07):

2006. You shoulda stopped there the year there wasn’t. 2009 is probably the cutoff.

Sevan Matossian (01:18):

That’s how hard it is. There was only one place the quarterfinals was shown. I don’t know if that’s true. There’s only one place. The quarterfinals were shown Taylor Self versus the world Man America Down Pepper. Jason Hopper, the greatest mystery in the CrossFit Games. Men’s space. Colton Mertons. The outlier of Outliers. Of outliers, and then the man who has no chance, had no chance. Just next drug addict living somewhere in the south

Taylor Self (01:49):

With a broken

Sevan Matossian (01:50):

Knee with a B razor. Taylor self, a

Andrew Hiller (01:54):

Big razor.

Taylor Self (01:56):

Fuck you

Sevan Matossian (01:57):

Lucky camera straps. We are coming from Australia.

Taylor Self (02:00):

Why do you need two of those? Dude,

Sevan Matossian (02:02):

Jesus crying me. You do not

Taylor Self (02:03):

Need two. Dude. Fuck bro. God damn

Sevan Matossian (02:06):

Dude. You’re not even a games athlete. Oh my God. One is fine.

Taylor Self (02:09):

You got two Fair Lifes. His wife brings him.

Sevan Matossian (02:13):

Who are you talking to? Your dog? My

Taylor Self (02:14):


Sevan Matossian (02:14):

Dude. A lucky C that we’re coming from Australia and have tickets to the West Semi now I think we need tickets to the east.

Taylor Self (02:24):

Oh, stop. I haven’t looked at anything.

Sevan Matossian (02:29):

I haven’t looked at the board. Taylor Self versus the world hasn’t looked at the board. John, have you looked at the board?

Taylor Self (02:33):

I have.

Sevan Matossian (02:34):

Okay. And Hillary, have you looked at the board?

Andrew Hiller (02:36):


Sevan Matossian (02:40):

We are going to start in the East Taylor self who? Shit the bed on the final workout. Not that he was trying to,

Andrew Hiller (02:48):

Which would’ve been the second workout chronologically.

Sevan Matossian (02:51):

Not that he was trying to make it to the semifinals, but how do I know?

Taylor Self (02:57):

Oh, I was fucking trying, dude.

Sevan Matossian (02:59):

Do you want to start from the top and work our way down? When

Andrew Hiller (03:01):

Did you start trying? Taylor? You were not trying for a while.

Taylor Self (03:04):

What do you mean?

Andrew Hiller (03:05):

You were not trying

Sevan Matossian (03:07):

Just training wise. Just training wise. He saying

Andrew Hiller (03:11):

There were points, multiple points in time where you said you had no intention of going to the semifinals This year.

Taylor Self (03:17):



I always train hard and I feel like I always train hard and I didn’t want to, don’t say get my hopes up, but I wasn’t healthy so I was like, I can’t compete if I’m not healthy. And then kind of all of a sudden things started feeling really good, so I wouldn’t say there was a point where I wasn’t trying. There just was a point where I didn’t think it was in the cards and I wasn’t planning to, and then things kind of snowball and expectations grow and hope grows and then I suck a fat wiener on the last workout like I did and that all gets dashed.

Sevan Matossian (04:03):

Completely imploded.

Andrew Hiller (04:07):

You really did suck a wiener.

Sevan Matossian (04:08):

When people say someone imploded, you’ve changed the bar for imploded. Someone on the show the other day was like, oh, Sprague was like, I thought he was almost going to say three times we’ve all been there, but then he didn’t. He pulled back a little bit because y’all haven’t been there as John Young would say. Y’all, y’all have not been there.

Taylor Self (04:33):


Sevan Matossian (04:34):

The fittest man in the world handling his fucking business. Jeffrey Adler going to the semifinals with 20 points, putting a SmackDown down 11th to first, seventh, and first Roman Koff the mystery from Russia. Rua Straight, straight out of the Mayhem Empire. Sixth, six.

Andrew Hiller (04:51):

That would be a good

Sevan Matossian (04:52):

And third what

Andrew Hiller (04:54):

The Roman, the mystery chronic cough.

Sevan Matossian (04:58):

Here’s the deal. Which workout did he shit the bet on It was workout two Taylor.

Taylor Self (05:01):

Yeah, I just,

Sevan Matossian (05:06):

Okay. And third place the man who won $5,000 from ca peptides.com. Their, their shit’s so good that their website’s down not allowed to be, I dunno what the fuck is going on, but I think they’re having issues with, I think peptides are just hard to get ahold of in the United States right now. You can email them at contact@capeptides.com. Use code word Hiller or Seon and get free Barios Static

Andrew Hiller (05:36):

Bacterias Statics

Sevan Matossian (05:38):

Static. Shut it, shut it. Taylor Bacterias static water and 10% off or free shipping or something. contact@capeptides.com.

Taylor Self (05:48):

Isn’t that the same thing as distilled water? Can’t you just go to Safeway and jam your needle in that thing and take in whatever’s in there?

Andrew Hiller (05:57):

That’s something you would’ve done like a decade ago. I think

Sevan Matossian (05:59):

Jason Hopper is $5,000 of peptides money sitting in his bank account right now. Minus the 10% he gave to the church.

Taylor Self (06:06):

Yeah, somebody probably

Sevan Matossian (06:10):

Austin Hatfield.

John Young (06:12):

That’s my boy. Wow.

Andrew Hiller (06:15):

The Crash Crucible.

John Young (06:18):

What’d you say?

Andrew Hiller (06:18):

Didn’t he win the Crash Crucible?

John Young (06:20):

He did win Crash Crucible over Colton S and James Taylor,

Sevan Matossian (06:25):

Are you looking at everyone’s scores right now too, to kind of assess? Are you looking like, okay.

Taylor Self (06:28):

Yeah, kind of. Kind of. And I know that both my third and fourth workouts are good now, but I still don’t know if that’s enough. I mean, I knew they were good.

Sevan Matossian (06:36):

What did you get on the third workout?

Taylor Self (06:38):

I got 7 59 and I could have been 30 seconds faster and I should have been, I was being a asshole.

Sevan Matossian (06:45):

Okay, and what did you get on workout for?

Taylor Self (06:47):

59 reps.

Sevan Matossian (06:49):

Okay, and what did you get on Workout one?

Taylor Self (06:53):

I was fourth in the region on workout one.

Sevan Matossian (06:56):

So how many points did you get?

Taylor Self (07:01):


Sevan Matossian (07:04):

No, how many reps did you get?

Taylor Self (07:06):


Sevan Matossian (07:08):

Okay, so you beat Guy. You beat guys in the top four in the first

Taylor Self (07:11):

Workout. Yes, dude. The second workout should have been my best workout and that’s why I’m so fucking embarrassed.

Sevan Matossian (07:16):

Hold on, hold on. You should be embarrassed. Workout one, workout one, three and four. You have scores that would beat at least one of the guys in the top four. A workout two. What did you get?

John Young (07:31):

1912? I was

Taylor Self (07:32):

Jesus Christ. 13 Christ. I was 220th. Jesus. Shut the fuck up. I know

Sevan Matossian (07:37):

Jesus Christ. Adler was already eating a sandwich.

John Young (07:39):

Yeah. Gee, beat him.

Taylor Self (07:41):

Shut the fuck

Sevan Matossian (07:42):

Up. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. Number five, the second man from Taylor Self versus the world. Man Taylor. Competition was stuff. Tough, tough, tough. Stiff, stiff, stiff, hard like Hiller on Melano, tan

Andrew Hiller (07:55):

Weeder, stiff

Sevan Matossian (07:58):

DLAN pepper fittest man in the United States of America. Second 20th, 25th and fourth.

Taylor Self (08:05):

He big time redid that third one.

John Young (08:09):

Yeah, he did.

Sevan Matossian (08:11):

Taylor, did you redo any of the workouts?

Taylor Self (08:13):

Fuck no, dude, I could barely move yesterday.

Sevan Matossian (08:19):

Sam will Corn Ya from CrossFit Mayhem sitting in six place.

Taylor Self (08:28):

Oh, I thought that said 1359 for workout two. I was about to freak out.

John Young (08:33):

Okay. He’s an advanced athlete.

Andrew Hiller (08:35):

He is advanced.

Sevan Matossian (08:36):

For those of you who don’t know,

Taylor Self (08:39):

Why are we dragging this out?

Sevan Matossian (08:41):

For those of you who don’t know what happened, this is how, this is how the second workout, this is how the second workout ended for Taylor Workout four. You see Down’s already fucking texted his wife and says, fucking it’s a red panty night. Meanwhile, Taylor doesn’t know fucking where he is. You don’t even know where you are here, right?

Taylor Self (09:05):

No, I thought I was.

Andrew Hiller (09:07):


Taylor Self (09:09):

I thought I was Buzz Lightyear.

Sevan Matossian (09:13):

Not even the Savage ones could save. I mean, they’re just shoes.

Andrew Hiller (09:16):

Two Infinity,

Taylor Self (09:20):

Bro. I was way fucking beyond.

Andrew Hiller (09:23):


Sevan Matossian (09:23):

My God. Oh my God. What a shit show.

Taylor Self (09:29):

You hear that cough? That’s from that workout.

Sevan Matossian (09:31):


Taylor Self (09:32):

A hundred percent.

Andrew Hiller (09:33):

Oh yeah, it’s the acidosis.

Taylor Self (09:36):

Fuck you,

Andrew Hiller (09:37):

Dude. Lactic acidosis. You got

Taylor Self (09:40):

Just scroll. Scroll to fucking 48th. I know. That’s probably where I am.

Sevan Matossian (09:44):

Some guy with a name that lowers your testosterone levels. Just your parents’ name in you that we done.

Andrew Hiller (09:49):


Sevan Matossian (09:50):

Yeah, bi. If you have any lines or shit over any of the letters of your name, your testosterone drops.

Taylor Self (09:57):

I think that’s the pharmaceutical term for estrogen. Puler.

Andrew Hiller (10:03):

No, that’s the flag for estrogen though.

Sevan Matossian (10:05):

Jack Rose. Just some. Nobody from the Crash Crucible and we still haven’t seen Taylor self. Jesus

Andrew Hiller (10:10):

Christ. Let’s go a little faster. Let’s got 200 points.

Taylor Self (10:17):

Yeah, I got two 20 way We can talk

Andrew Hiller (10:20):

About some of these guys.

Sevan Matossian (10:21):

Wait, wait, let’s, okay. Okay,

Andrew Hiller (10:23):

Fine. Travis Mayor,

Sevan Matossian (10:24):

John wants to jump in here. Okay. Travis Mayer, the great Travis Mayer, Jack Farlow.

Andrew Hiller (10:29):

It’s a great Jack Farlow. Let’s

Sevan Matossian (10:30):

Definitely come back and look at his scores. Jack Farlow is nothing but a meathead beat Taylor, even in workout three. No, he didn’t. Out four.

Andrew Hiller (10:38):


Taylor Self (10:38):

Three and I beat him in workout four. I bet. I bet my tie break was faster. Okay,

Sevan Matossian (10:43):

So he still just, alright, Alexander watched a Canadian athlete.

Taylor Self (10:49):

Geez, let’s go.

Sevan Matossian (10:51):

Some guy named Ricky Gervais. No one’s heard of him.

Andrew Hiller (10:54):

Comedian, no, we Peter Mason. Tyler Watkin’s brother.

Sevan Matossian (11:00):

Peter Mason. I think he was like, God, he’s so Desiree. I think he was maybe at the Zello games or some shit.

Andrew Hiller (11:06):

Yeah, it looks like Tyler Watkins,

Sevan Matossian (11:08):

Ben Sexton.

Taylor Self (11:10):

That’s not good. These are low points.

Andrew Hiller (11:13):


Sevan Matossian (11:13):

When you see this guy name Ben Sexton, are you like, fuck, I’m better than this dude. Do you know who this guy is? Taylor?

Taylor Self (11:17):

Yeah. I’m better than everyone but the top five on this list,

Sevan Matossian (11:22):

Dre Stro, a camera guy from Mayhem

Andrew Hiller (11:25):

Better than Taylor Self.

Taylor Self (11:27):

Jesus Christ,

Sevan Matossian (11:28):

Tyler Christ of all guy’s. Been trying to go to the game since 1842.

Andrew Hiller (11:32):

His girlfriend just retired.

Taylor Self (11:33):

How old is he?

Andrew Hiller (11:37):


Sevan Matossian (11:38):

My god. Luke Parker.

Andrew Hiller (11:41):


Taylor Self (11:41):

Fuck that guy. He beat me by two seconds. How much do you want to bet that whole Mayhem team watched workout three on us? They a hundred percent did. Do

Andrew Hiller (11:50):

The whole world. Watch it. All right.

Sevan Matossian (11:52):

Saxon, pan Chick,

Taylor Self (11:53):

Jesus Christ. I knew Sub seven 30 was possible. I knew he was going to win that workout, but I didn’t think sub seven was possible.

Sevan Matossian (12:02):

Insane first place for

John Young (12:05):

Seb. His score compared to the other scores are ridiculous. Just the gap on

Sevan Matossian (12:08):

That said Stovall.

Taylor Self (12:09):

Yeah, that’s a big gap.

Andrew Hiller (12:11):

Lives in a van by the river.

Sevan Matossian (12:13):

Yeah. Some guy who lives in a van beat Taylor, Barry Ner, hurry up. What the fuck? Why? Where do we got to go?

Taylor Self (12:24):

Yeah, yeah. Remember all these guys? All you? Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (12:28):

Spencer Pancheck Second. Second in workout three. What was workout three again?

Taylor Self (12:32):

He was 30 seconds behind his brother and that was,

John Young (12:34):

It was the ring muscle up rope climb. Handstand, pushup workout.

Sevan Matossian (12:38):

Wow. Cam Crockett, who the fuck is that?

John Young (12:45):

He was at Zello games.

Sevan Matossian (12:48):

Oh man. Austin Spencer from Misfits.

Taylor Self (12:52):

I don’t think he’s a misfit guy anymore. I think he’s a Krypton dude.

Sevan Matossian (12:55):

He’s a names athlete. Look at Saxon Pan has an 88 and what did you finish at two 60?

Taylor Self (13:00):

It was two 20th. It’s not,

Sevan Matossian (13:02):

You have no fucking chance, dude. I know I don’t. We’re at the halfway fucking mark and you score three times his

Andrew Hiller (13:09):

On one workout.

Taylor Self (13:10):

I know.

Sevan Matossian (13:11):

Will Morad. He beat you and he’s retired

Andrew Hiller (13:15):

And he’s like,

Taylor Self (13:18):

Yeah, but they’re female athletes. Beat him in workout one.

Sevan Matossian (13:22):

Alex V. That’s a nice name down there. That’s a nice name that Evan Rogers. I haven’t seen anyone who’s gotten a 200th, by the way, I don’t mean think

Andrew Hiller (13:34):

Tank, right? Evan Rogers.

John Young (13:36):

Now you have to think Seon Taylor’s Christ probably the highest person with a 200th.

Andrew Hiller (13:43):

Yeah, it’s all No.

Sevan Matossian (13:44):

How the fuck do you say that? Dude,

John Young (13:47):

All the rest of his scores were elite. They were top 10

Sevan Matossian (13:50):

Elite. Yeah, but these two

Andrew Hiller (13:51):

Taylor’s elite right?

Sevan Matossian (13:52):

People redid their workouts and buried his times two 60th. I mean he’d have to have some.

Taylor Self (13:57):

It wasn’t two 60th, it was two 20.

Sevan Matossian (13:59):

Yeah, whatever. Everything over 200, might as well be 2000.

Taylor Self (14:04):


Sevan Matossian (14:04):

This ain’t good. Mark Juan Jones. He’s not even a serious athlete. He’s just like fucking, just a works out in the gym.

John Young (14:11):

It’s not 2000. I know what 2000 feels like.

Sevan Matossian (14:18):

John Young. You’re a good dude. Joseph Piero. Ben Smith. Okay. Okay. Across the games champ. Still nothing over a hundred.

Taylor Self (14:30):

Oh man. Maybe there’s a chance.

John Young (14:32):

Ryan Hans has a one 11.

Sevan Matossian (14:34):

What makes you think you have a chance? Dude, look at, I mean no one because

Taylor Self (14:38):

They’re at 218 points and if my other scores are four, 10 and 10, that’s 24 points. So 244 points is where, I dunno, maybe that’s as many points as I could have right now

Andrew Hiller (14:50):

With 10 spots to,

Taylor Self (14:52):

Yeah, so maybe not.

John Young (14:54):

There was a big clog up around two 15.

Sevan Matossian (14:57):

Garrett Clark, 2 22.

Taylor Self (15:01):


John Young (15:01):

Yeah, he still has hands.

Sevan Matossian (15:05):

Oh my God. A kid beat you from the kiddie class. Nate Ackerman. Hey dude. So telling me,

Taylor Self (15:13):

And we’ve just gone one by one for fucking 30 minutes and I’m not going to make it.

Sevan Matossian (15:18):

You’re telling

Taylor Self (15:19):

Me you’re such a fucking piece of shit. You’re

Sevan Matossian (15:21):

Telling me you think that there’s a chance with

Taylor Self (15:22):

Me. No, I don’t think there’s a fucking chance, dude. I don’t think fuck you.

Sevan Matossian (15:26):

Look at some guy doesn’t even have a fucking real name Jacob.

John Young (15:28):

He knows it now. Name. He knows it now.

Taylor Self (15:33):

Jesus Christ

Sevan Matossian (15:34):

Jake. In fact, holy shit, you have 2 44. This next one could hurt you. Dude. You have Kleenexes nearby. Holy

Taylor Self (15:46):


John Young (15:47):

There it is.

Sevan Matossian (15:49):

2 42. There’s still

Taylor Self (15:52):

A video review.

Sevan Matossian (15:53):

A 220th, a ninth and a ninth. Dude, you’re not even in the

John Young (15:58):

Same be top 30 by the end of the review.

Sevan Matossian (16:01):

Hey dude, you’re not even in the same league as these other people in your other workouts. Is that what you were trying to explain to me, John?

John Young (16:06):

Yeah. I’m saying none of those guys have three top tens. He’s going to be the only person with that outlier score because nobody else is that good in the

Sevan Matossian (16:17):

Even Jeffrey Adler has one outside the top 10. Roman Koff has one outside the top 10. Jason Hopper has one outside the top 10. Yes. Two outside the top. Austin Hatfield has one outside the top 10. Are you the only person you got to use

John Young (16:28):

Their three top 10 scores?

Sevan Matossian (16:35):

Wow. Dude

Andrew Hiller (16:36):

Didn’t go full retard on that one workout.

Sevan Matossian (16:38):

You really are. Jake Berman. Tyler,

John Young (16:40):


Sevan Matossian (16:41):

Berman. Jorge Fernandez

Andrew Hiller (16:43):

Got in.

Sevan Matossian (16:43):

Wow. Zach Levy. Oh, it turns into a shit show after 36. You would’ve made it anyway. Wow. What a fucking deal. Okay, Taylor, you made it.

Taylor Self (16:57):

There’s still video of you

John Young (16:59):

And you had eight cameras on you the entire time.

Sevan Matossian (17:04):

Kyle, Anton, Kylie, Anton, Anton, Kylie, an shout out to Sentinel training. I went from thinking I was mediocre at CrossFit to discovery and I’m slightly below mediocre. Way to go, Taylor.

Taylor Self (17:14):

Wow. 60 points. What is that? Is that actually 80 points, 81 points back to 40th?

Andrew Hiller (17:21):


Taylor Self (17:22):

That’s a big buffer. Okay.

Sevan Matossian (17:24):

Taylor has one score outside the top 10.

Taylor Self (17:27):

I can turn the comments on now.

John Young (17:30):

Taylor, does this make you excited or nervous?

Taylor Self (17:33):

It angers me so fucking much that I’m in the bottom heat. You could have no idea how. Yeah,

John Young (17:38):

But you should win your first heat.

Andrew Hiller (17:40):

Did you have the worst score on workout two in the top 40? Hey

Sevan Matossian (17:43):

Dude, if you had to,

Taylor Self (17:44):

Dude, I had the worst score on four probably in the top 100.

John Young (17:48):

Wait, wait, let’s go down until we see his score worse.

Taylor Self (17:50):

Oh. Oh, okay, okay, okay. You

John Young (17:53):

Know what I’m saying? Let’s go down

Taylor Self (17:54):

Hamming 1907. What did

John Young (17:56):

He have? 2 31. There’s a 2 31. 1130.

Sevan Matossian (17:59):

Where’s two 30? Oh, but oh, you saw two 30, Brandon.

John Young (18:02):

Brandon. True. Where?

Sevan Matossian (18:04):

Oh, 44th.

Taylor Self (18:06):

Wait, what are you talking about? No, no. We’re talking about workout two though. We’re talking about,

John Young (18:11):

Okay. Yeah, that’s going to be a while.

Taylor Self (18:14):

Yeah. Oh, I

Andrew Hiller (18:16):

Know. We went, wow. Damn. If you have be by Kyle can’t on that workout.

John Young (18:21):

He can’t even make semi-finals.

Andrew Hiller (18:23):


Sevan Matossian (18:23):

Het. Wow. Are you going to go, Taylor? Okay,

Taylor Self (18:27):

Well, I’m going to go and do our pre-show for sure. For Savon.

Sevan Matossian (18:31):

What? Judy Reed. Taylor’s a classic case of growing up with trauma downplays and self-deprecating. I hope he knows how incredible he is, but probably doesn’t believe it. You’re just fucking, you’re just a

Taylor Self (18:43):

Ego that’s that’s nice for retard.

John Young (18:47):

Taylor knows how good he is. He talked

Sevan Matossian (18:49):

About it also, you’re just psychological profile. Nothing more, nothing less qualified for semis in spirit of the quarterfinals award into the fucking stratosphere. Taylor, congratulations dude. You’re a beast. Wow.

John Young (19:02):

I’m actually excited to see you wreck the first heat.

Taylor Self (19:05):

I’m going to wreck all four heats.

Sevan Matossian (19:09):

Hey dude, I bet you get a standing ovation. Dude, the pressure is going to be so insane. You’ll probably crack

Taylor Self (19:16):

Pressure on me

Andrew Hiller (19:17):

Just like you did on that wall ball. Shut up.

Taylor Self (19:20):

I didn’t crack under pressure, asshole.

Sevan Matossian (19:22):

Good point. Good point.

Andrew Hiller (19:24):

Something cracked.

Taylor Self (19:25):

Something definitely cracked, but it wasn’t my fucking,

Sevan Matossian (19:27):

He had a tap yoka pudding for brain. It

Taylor Self (19:29):

Wasn’t my spirit, bro. My spirit’s unfucking crackable. My tail bones

Sevan Matossian (19:34):

Cracked. About one minute before you fell, someone said they saw your soul leave your body and just opened a bag of Doritos and hang

Taylor Self (19:40):

Out. Yeah, my soul got in my body and was yelling at my body.

Sevan Matossian (19:44):

Oh, standi ovation. I’ll bet you get a standi ovation.

Andrew Hiller (19:49):

That’d be interesting. Everyone’s just jerking it in the crowd.

Sevan Matossian (19:53):

I can’t fucking believe this dude. This is crazy, dude. So everyone in the Taylor self versus the world made it.

Taylor Self (20:01):

What did Colton get

Sevan Matossian (20:03):

For my guy Taylor Savage? Self crushed it even while falling off a box.

John Young (20:08):

A fun fact about Colton, he had the number one score in the clean and jerk workout in North America West. So we’ve had like four number one scores in the region live on air.

Andrew Hiller (20:21):

Oh, that’s cool. That’s a good fact.

Sevan Matossian (20:24):

Look at this. Anytime John hung comments, it’s a good comment. If Taylor makes it to the games, he’s a shoo in for spirit of the games.

John Young (20:33):

Oh, that’s rough. I don’t know if he would want,

Taylor Self (20:35):


Sevan Matossian (20:36):

You win that. I’m going to fucking die.

Andrew Hiller (20:39):

I hear Ben Bergeron has got a plaque for you when you win that.

Sevan Matossian (20:43):

Oh my God. We’ll do a show to raise money for Taylor so he can, doesn’t have to sleep on the floor.

Andrew Hiller (20:52):

Didn’t Sarah say something about him?

Sevan Matossian (20:55):


Andrew Hiller (20:55):

Can you give him an Escalade?

Sevan Matossian (20:57):

My God.

Andrew Hiller (21:00):

Now Taylor’s quiet. Why is so quiet? Taylor?

Sevan Matossian (21:02):

He didn’t know how to process. He didn’t know how to process.

Taylor Self (21:07):


John Young (21:07):

Funny. That’s facts.

Sevan Matossian (21:09):

Hey Taylor, how long have you been wanting to go to the semifinals?

Taylor Self (21:16):

I’ve made it like four times. It’s not my first

Sevan Matossian (21:20):

Oh, rodeo.

Taylor Self (21:22):

This ain’t my first rodeo boy. It’s just been a while since I’ve competed.

John Young (21:26):

I would love if you made the games this year. It’s the year you would least likely say about

Taylor Self (21:33):

The games. The odds of me making the games are way lower than the odds of me making semifinals and those were low.

John Young (21:40):

Yeah. I don’t think the odds were low for you making semifinals.

Taylor Self (21:44):

Oh, pat, hope you’re listening, bro. Spanked that Coer on workout three and four, bro,

John Young (21:50):


Sevan Matossian (21:50):

Tired. Pat Ner first in the west. No

Taylor Self (21:53):

Coer. He should be beating me. Dude.

Sevan Matossian (21:54):

A second to six. To six in the nine

John Young (21:56):

Shoulder overhead.

Taylor Self (21:57):

And I spanked this coer in workouts three and four too. And workout one. We’re not going to count. Workout two, it doesn’t count.

Sevan Matossian (22:05):

You be Justin made. You’d be Justin Mades in three workouts.

Taylor Self (22:08):

We tied on the fourth, but I bet my tie breaks faster.

Sevan Matossian (22:13):

Patrick Vellner, Justin Mades, Brandon Luckett. Same fitness as John Sewell. Dude, I thought Brandon, I got to get Brandon Luckett back on the show when I interviewed him. He said he was done and didn’t he get a team

John Young (22:25):

Last year? He was done until I said we were close in fitness level and then he’s turned it on every,

Taylor Self (22:30):

He’s like Tom Brady, dude. He’s like Tom Brady.

Andrew Hiller (22:33):

You got to piss him off. Jonathan

Sevan Matossian (22:35):

Sam. That’s good,

John Young (22:36):

Man. I’m proud. I’m happy for

Sevan Matossian (22:37):

Him. Chris. Chris Debar. Cole Gray, Shaer, Brent Kowski. William Leahy, the

Taylor Self (22:42):

Fourth west

Sevan Matossian (22:43):

With Wakowski.

Taylor Self (22:44):

The west is rinky dink dude, look at the fifth place. Time on three in the west.

Andrew Hiller (22:51):

What’s wrong with it?

Taylor Self (22:52):

I mean, it’s just slower. Everything’s slower and slower. It’s rinky dink.

Andrew Hiller (22:55):

Yeah. You should have chosen a different

Taylor Self (22:57):

Freaking, I’m moving to Africa.

Andrew Hiller (22:59):

You still would’ve gotten dead. Last on the box show workout

Sevan Matossian (23:02):

For Taylor’s. Hardly fun to the semis. Yeah. Helping. If you’re in the chat, can you find out if Taylor would’ve made it in the west and in Europe?

Andrew Hiller (23:11):

He totally would’ve made it.

John Young (23:12):

Yeah. East is the hardest region. Europe would be interesting. Made it in east if he No, I think if he made it in east, he’d make it in any region.

Andrew Hiller (23:18):

That’s not true. That is not true about Europe.

Taylor Self (23:20):

Europe is deep.

Sevan Matossian (23:21):

So talk to me about Samo quant. John 19th place for workout four. Isn’t he considered one of the best barbell cyclers in the biz?

Taylor Self (23:29):


Sevan Matossian (23:32):

I think he as a,

Taylor Self (23:33):

He won his heat. He won his

John Young (23:35):

Heat. Not a heavy bar belt. No. He won DT in 2015 in his first year. The

Taylor Self (23:41):

Heavy DT or double dt or it was just regular double dt.

John Young (23:44):

Dt. Yeah. No light to moderate Barbo cycling.

Taylor Self (23:49):

That was when he was young and pliable. Now his front rack position is probably 30% worse than Chandler Smith’s.

John Young (23:55):

He’s still good. He’s just not with heavy barbell. I wouldn’t pick him 2 25 race.

Andrew Hiller (24:00):

He is a worst front

Taylor Self (24:01):

Rack. It’s not actually worse, but dude, he catches the bar on his collarbone. His elbows are down here. He can’t get

John Young (24:06):

His elbows. He does have low elbows. He’s not,

Taylor Self (24:08):

It’s not good. It’s not official.

John Young (24:10):

You’re right. He does look way different in 2015 if you watch that workout versus, now,

Sevan Matossian (24:16):

Just so you guys know, Andrew Hiller has been trapped in Will Lehe room for seven days straight and he is running out of oxygen in there. So tonight if you see some things like some twitching and shit, because there’s more carbon dioxide in there than oxygen.

John Young (24:29):

Dang. So Saxon almost

Andrew Hiller (24:31):

Berry chamber. It’s what you do to be elite.

John Young (24:34):

Almost beat Lahey by a minute.

Andrew Hiller (24:36):


Sevan Matossian (24:38):

Europe is the hardest female region for sure. Not by much

John Young (24:44):

For sure.

Sevan Matossian (24:44):

Not by much, but it balanced out after workout. Three and four a little but a 55th place elite athlete in Europe was 49th in the east, but qualify in the top list. CJ or

John Young (24:54):


Sevan Matossian (24:55):

How I regret reading your shit, Taylor, you’re going to redo number three. Look who beat you.

Taylor Self (25:01):

Fucker. I a hundred percent. Go watch my video dude. There’s 30 seconds. I stood around on the rope climbs, staring at Jason just knowing that I was going to stuff my thing down his thing.

Andrew Hiller (25:12):

You’re going to put your penis in his penis,

Sevan Matossian (25:14):

Dude. Or Magda James. We’re going

Taylor Self (25:16):

To talk. Dude.

Sevan Matossian (25:16):

Sprague in 10th. Nick. Matthew and 11th. Good job James. Good job Nick. Will. Bennett Cole. Sager in 13th. Colton Merton’s, 14th place. Let’s

Andrew Hiller (25:25):

Go. There he is. Go baby.

Sevan Matossian (25:29):

60, fourth,

Taylor Self (25:29):

Third. He redid his third workout too and did a little worse, but he, you could see his rope climb touches cleaner. So he went with that one.

Sevan Matossian (25:36):

And oddly enough, right next to him,

Andrew Hiller (25:39):


Sevan Matossian (25:40):

Scott Tetlow.

Andrew Hiller (25:42):

Why is that odd?

Taylor Self (25:44):

Yeah, bro. Why is that odd, bro?

Sevan Matossian (25:46):

They’re the same person just with different heads. They’re

John Young (25:49):

Not the same.

Sevan Matossian (25:51):

Travon, Benton, Drake, Lewis, max Greg at 18. Raphael SSON hard work pays off.

Taylor Self (25:58):

Oh, is that an HWPO guy?

Andrew Hiller (26:00):


Taylor Self (26:01):

Raphael. S Sanson. I bet he’ll pull out before

John Young (26:03):

They continue. He be the only one left.

Andrew Hiller (26:05):

Geez dude.

Taylor Self (26:07):

Whoops. Sorry. S I’m Try not to smile bro. When I say good shit,

Sevan Matossian (26:13):

One, one of my sponsors asked me what? Anyway, I shouldn’t even go down that.

John Young (26:20):

Sam dancer.

Sevan Matossian (26:22):

Sam dancer, 20th

Taylor Self (26:23):


Sevan Matossian (26:24):

Master athlete, master’s athlete was trying to keep the dream alive.

Andrew Hiller (26:28):

This dude’s name sucks.

Sevan Matossian (26:30):

Adam McAdams

Andrew Hiller (26:31):

Mack. Adam McAdams Mac.

Sevan Matossian (26:35):

I like it. Mike Evans hijacks. Okay.

Taylor Self (26:36):

Okay. Hey, that’s Bill Leahy’s guy, right? Is that his first semifinal?

Sevan Matossian (26:42):

That’s Chopper. That’s the treat Chopper.

John Young (26:45):

He made it last year. He snatched 300 in the snatch workout last year. He

Andrew Hiller (26:48):


Sevan Matossian (26:49):

That’s the tree chopper. Hillary?

Andrew Hiller (26:51):

No, tree Chopper. He was in the first Bill LA video. He was here for out with him.

Sevan Matossian (26:55):

Hey, Ty Jenkins. So now that he’s in 23rd, does that mean, do you see that and you’re just like, yeah, not going to the games?

Andrew Hiller (27:03):

Yeah, he is probably not strong enough, but he is doing great. I mean, he’s fricking 18, isn’t he?

Sevan Matossian (27:10):

Yeah, he’s something little. He’s like a kid. Yeah, he’s

Andrew Hiller (27:13):

Like a pit bull. He’s got a big head.

Sevan Matossian (27:15):

Yeah, he’s stout. He’s stout.

Andrew Hiller (27:17):

He’s kind of like the male version of Bethany. That’s why you

Taylor Self (27:20):

Like him. Keer Lambie.

John Young (27:21):



He break a

Taylor Self (27:22):

Lot? Love that guy. Kiefer’s a good

Andrew Hiller (27:23):

Guy. No, I meant the big head part.

Sevan Matossian (27:26):

Jacob Marlow. Tristan Harrison. Justin Johnson. Do you mean

Taylor Self (27:30):

He looks like that famous British TikTok singer. The guy with the teeth that are all gapped and separated the kind of stick out like that. And he’s got the

Sevan Matossian (27:40):

Arnold Schwarzenegger? No.

Taylor Self (27:42):

Okay, nevermind.

Sevan Matossian (27:43):

Gabrielle Townsend. Matt Brady, Alessandro Nette. Tucker McElroy.

John Young (27:48):

Oh, Louis


Oscar Moro. What a


Kind wow place in a 20. Hey,


That’s awesome,

Taylor Self (27:57):

Dude. Look at how much worse that was. Look at how much worse he did than me and how much higher of a score that is in the west.

Andrew Hiller (28:04):

I knew that was coming from Taylor.

Taylor Self (28:06):

Fuck you dude. I’m typical dude. I’m predictable.

Andrew Hiller (28:10):

You are.

Sevan Matossian (28:11):

Hey, so for that proven athlete, has he ever been, he’s been to the games, right?

Taylor Self (28:14):


Sevan Matossian (28:15):


Andrew Hiller (28:16):

He’s a monster though. I like him.

Sevan Matossian (28:18):

I like him too.

John Young (28:19):

He’s home run City.

Andrew Hiller (28:21):

Chase Smith,

Sevan Matossian (28:23):

Brandon Fay,

John Young (28:24):


Taylor Self (28:25):

Louis. Oscar Moore is not home. Run City. How is he home run city. He

Sevan Matossian (28:29):


John Young (28:30):

Workouts that he can hit. Home.


Run. What did

Taylor Self (28:32):

His workouts go to? His workouts. This was a broad test. Okay. First

Sevan Matossian (28:35):


John Young (28:36):

He’s got a 7 23 in workout three. What time did you get? Are you supposed to be good at that workout?

Taylor Self (28:42):

Okay. I probably weighs 30 more pounds than him. My dick’s four inches longer. Dude that’s swinging around and

John Young (28:47):

Hitting me in the road. It’s all that. He’s got a small penis.

Sevan Matossian (28:50):

Our first Asian guy, Anthony M,

Taylor Self (28:54):

How do you know? Just because of the name.

Sevan Matossian (28:55):

Yeah. Yum.

Andrew Hiller (28:57):

I think they got won the physical 100. No

Sevan Matossian (28:59):

Shit. Shut the fuck up. Just because he’s Asian.

John Young (29:03):

Is he Asian or is he Spanish? CrossFit sounds. I watch that Joe.

Sevan Matossian (29:16):

Bro. Now it’s coming out. Now it’s coming out people. Yeah. Taylor’s holding in a lot. Oh, I typed in Anoni.

Andrew Hiller (29:26):

No, dude, it’s not that guy.

Sevan Matossian (29:29):


Andrew Hiller (29:30):

The dude one, the physical 100 is a CrossFitter, but he hasn’t competed since 2021.

John Young (29:35):

He’s not like a relevant CrossFitter either.

Sevan Matossian (29:38):

It’s Anthony M followed by the barbell spin. Yeah, he’s Asian dude. Oh, he’s a big boy. Scroll. Scroll rather scroll. His

Andrew Hiller (29:47):

Name is Amma. It’s kind of close actually. Yeah, that Brandon has.

Sevan Matossian (29:50):

He got a Mexican haircut though.

Andrew Hiller (29:52):

Sporty. Beth just did a video on him if anybody wants to see about him.

Sevan Matossian (29:55):

Who on Anthony m

Andrew Hiller (29:57):

Nodi the winner?

Sevan Matossian (29:58):

Geez. Look at no.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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