Sevan Matossian (00:02):
Bam. We’re live. I would not do that again. I will not do that again. That was dumb. Blasphemy. Blasphemy. You say I’m just not doing that again. That was stupid. My calves are so sore. Sammy. What are talking about Chad? I would not do that workout again. That was dumb. A thousand step-ups. I did it with a 20 pound vest. That was dumb. Not good, not what I needed. I didn’t scale it appropriately. I should have done maybe two 50. Two 50. Calves are too sore. Lower back is too sore. Yeah. Kenneth lap. It’s seven on time where I replaced my absentee father with a wise and jacked Armenian man.
(00:59):
I am definitely jacked, but not wise. No, definitely not jacked. Aaron Shabel gets heavy. Some medical attention. He’s having a vaginitis, vaginitis, vaginitis, vaginitis. I always say vaginitis. I tell my kid You have a severe case of vaginosis. A vaginitis. Flareup. I see. I don’t mind the, actually the best part is the doms, right? What does Dom stand for? Delayed onset muscle soreness. I do like the I do the doms mean. Did it bare? I did it barefoot. I don’t know. I think that that made my significantly more sore. Arches of my feet are tight. Zach says, I just don’t see the reason for stepping up onto a box and stepping down a thousand times and thinking it’s a, it was dumb. It was dumb. Asymmetric ears. I have the same suite. CEO shirt. Mine’s too tight on me. I wouldn’t be comfortable wearing it, but I’m not eating today, so I know that by two I’ll have seriously reduced inflammation and it’ll fit nicely and I’ll be like, yeah, I’m a man. I’m going to try to play tennis today too. Right after this. I’m going to get up. I’m going to be so sore. Yeah, knee destruction. That’s so interesting you say that. Between 500 and 600, I had to really consciously start putting excessive weight on the outside of my feet for the remainder four or 500 step-ups because something was happening when I was lazy and I just walked, stepped like I just stepped and I was having some weird discomfort in my knee. I didn’t like it.
(03:12):
Jake Chapman. I liked the idea that Sevy had CrossFit terms written in big writing all around the studio walls for him to refer to during the show. I like the idea that se I don’t remember having that idea Eric Brand. I think of climbing the tower stairs. Ian Vo. Is Doms a real thing? I’ve only had soreness a day later. Wait a second. That is Doms, isn’t it? I think of Doms as just any soreness. I like being sore anytime I do any. About a year ago I started doing that thing where you take the dumbbell and you push it up from behind your head. That I used to do back in the day before CrossFit, and if I do those once a week, my triceps are sore every time. I love that feeling. Like sore of the touch even in
(04:11):
Behind the scenes. Oh, now I’m stimulated behind the scenes by Team Richie on CrossFit. Explain. I want to see that. Please explain. Yeah, there we go. Yeah. Soreness is soreness. I think it is. Yeah. That’s what it is it Ian? That’s what it is. Soreness is, I mean it’s always delayed if you feel it right away. That’s called injury. I don’t know why the delayed is redundant. No one’s working out and three seconds later they’re sore. I think maybe sometimes my kids have had that just because their cycle time is so fast. I think they’ve done stuff been sore and then the next day not been sore. As I get older, it takes longer and longer. I’m actually surprised my calves are this sore right now, but I also was doing crazy jump romping the day before. Chad, like an idiot barefoot jump roping like a shitload of it, so, oh, Jake Chapman Doms is actually a dick on my shoulder. Yeah, that’s old man shit right there. Blade Walker. Doms is real as fuck. I felt it like two days later. Yeah, I’ve had that too. It’s a trip. That’s how it almost normally is for me now.
(05:30):
Alright, what are we doing? Today was the closest I’ve ever come to not doing a show in the morning. It was 20 minutes before the show and I wasn’t showered and I was sitting on the couch. I think maybe I was even having a pity party.
(05:54):
No one showed up. It was a solo party. Solo. Solo. You guys want to see something absolutely nuts. I know you guys are going to have trouble believing this. I’m having trouble believing this is a barefoot jump roping a band name. No, it could be severe. I’m glad you still came on us. Yeah, I’ll always come on you don’t worry about that. Always. Come on, listen. Here we go. Brace yourself. Let’s explore this together. Let’s all hold hands. This is CrossFit. All elements in Neon Switzerland. I love everybody. I’m accepting of everybody. I just love everyone. I love the whole universe. I just want everyone to get along. I want the pedophiles and the Jew haters and the murderers and the school shooter. I just love everyone. Everyone deserves a chance to express themselves. It’s okay a little bit. Everything in moderation. You know what I like to do?
(07:22):
I like to pull my car up to the gas station and open the gas cap and right when I’m done filling it up with gas, I’d like to leave a little bit of room and pour apple juice in there because everything in moderation is okay. Just a cup. My car doesn’t like it so much, but I tell my car everything in moderation. I don’t know if I’m an audio file, but I just gave away 25 pairs of headphones at four fifteens. I took out the backseat of my 1977 Volkswagen Rabbit and had four fifteens back there. I built the box and everything myself, installed it crossovers, electronic passive amps.
(08:07):
There was no room to have sex in my rabbit. I wasn’t having sex in high school. Anyway, I thought about it. I thought about it, and if you don’t think that’s being quite open-minded enough, you know what your car would really like just in moderation is just a one jar of peanut butter in your gas tank. It takes a little while to get it all down that hole, but just a little bit. The reason why McDonald’s has sold 1 billion, I need to explain this first real quick. So people have these ideas and they think they’re good ideas. So you think that Coke is bad, so you want to tax it so it costs more, and then that money goes where to the government. It goes into this big pile for the government. And then let’s say that money’s going to go to type two diabetes because Cokes give people type two diabetes, so it’s going to go to lowering the price of insulin for people who have type two diabetes from drinking too much Coke, right?
(09:26):
So now what you have is you have the government, you think you’re so, oh, I’m so smart, I’m going to tax, going to tax the drink. But Coke is ecstatic because now they’re in business with the government because now the government’s collecting 500 million a year and creating 3000 jobs to manage that money because they get money from the evil Coke. We’re going to teach Coke, we’re going to tax it so less people buy it, but if the same amount of people buy it, we’ll use that money to help people with type two diabetes by lowering the cost of insulin. Help help.
(10:17):
Same thing with cigarettes. You think you’re going to have these fucking brilliant ideas. I want to save Palestinian children. It’s fucking horrible what Israel’s doing. I’m going to start chanting free Palestine. Know that you’re actually getting more Palestinian kids killed. You’re from over here in your cush little place telling those people basically to stand up and fight. Nope, bad idea I’m going to do. I can’t believe the way that cop treated that black guy. I’m going to start going to BBL M riots and I’m going to do defund the police. They’re bad. Have you seen one person apologize, one Antifa person apologize to the black community.
(11:09):
So you have these hair-brained ideas like you think you’re going to help someone you ain’t helping shit. On that same note, I was thinking when we were talking the other day, it was on the CrossFit games update show and I’d say 90% of the people in the comments disagreed with me and Bill disagreed with me and Taylor disagreed with me and all these people disagreed with me. And it was interesting in hindsight, someone in the comments wrote, Sevan, you have to be honest and transparent and authentic so you can build relationships with people. And I’m like, oh, isn’t it so funny? I’m willing to say that I’m more transparent and authentic than anyone I know and more honest than anyone I know or at least up there with the most honest people I know and someone’s lecturing on me because I don’t want to fucking tell you where I spend my money, what I owe you. So fucking funny these people, it’s the same fucking ass backwards thinking. Listen to this one. Here’s another good one. There’s these athletes who think it’s cool that Andrew Hiller did a natty or knot on them and they got Natty.
(12:21):
Well, you have to understand that doesn’t work unless other people are convinced of not being naty. You get that? It’s like there has to be both sides.
(12:42):
There has to be both sides. You can’t just have it one way what you like today. The opposite is also true and that’s going to happen to you too. Don’t think it’s not. And then are you going to be cool with that? And what’s crazy is what’s funny about all of that being said too is I think that every single affiliate owner should live in a $850,000 house, be making $400,000 a year and be driving a whatever the fucking nicest SUV is. But if they were their fucking, I guarantee 90% of you and 90% of their fucking patrons would fucking hate them and be talking shit behind their back. But I’m the one, but I’m the one that doesn’t want the transparency. You’re the one demanding that your affiliate owner tell you why they raised the prices. Fuck off. Hey, it’s the same thing. Remember when Dave Castro got fired? That sucked. That hurt me more than anyone except for Dave and the CrossFit community was yelling at Rosa, tell us why he was fired. Fuck you. He don’t owe you shit. Tell you why he got fired. How I fucking find? How about I go in your house and look at the last 20 websites you’ve been to and I tell the world what you’re looking at.
(14:01):
It was Rosa’s was the boss. He don’t owe you to tell you. And you don’t even don’t even know if Dave wants the reason why, giving out why he was fired. But you’re all demanding that shit. You’re standing up for him. Ain’t doing shit. I haven’t been accused of being on the sauce for about a year. I need to step it up.
(14:32):
Yeah, own the affiliate and your wife brings in two 50. Yeah, that’s a good idea too. How about every single member of the affiliate? How about all the fucking people who go to affiliates sit down right now and write their boss a letter? Why they’re not paying them more? Hey, I know you come in here every day at 6:00 AM and I know you’re living like a poor fucking slob, but the only reason why I pay you $175 a month is because I like to spend this other money on Molly and Hookers. Great question. Rambler, what are your last three websites? You know what I obsess on you guys? I dunno if you guys know this because you asked if I was in audio file. I like to go to this website a lot. I’ll show you.
(15:31):
I like to go to Sony Alpha Rumors. I go to this one, I’ll show you right here. And I like to just stay abreast on just anything that’s new. If I have at night, this is kind of how I’ll decompress. I’ll go to this website. Excuse me. They came out with a new Sony a nine. I was checking it out. Expensive. Six grand, excuse me. Probably worth it. Technology’s insane. And then I like this one. I like Mac Rumors. Do you guys do Mac Rumors? I really like Mac. Rumors. Apple will add a new, larger 12.9 inch iPad air to an entirely refreshed iPad lineup. I guess I’m a pretty hardcore consumer. I have some real superficial, I love a new iPhone. Yeah, I love camera stuff.
(16:25):
And then of course this one you guys are going to, some of you probably won’t like this. I go to this website a lot too. Here we go. I hope nothing weird pops up. Oh look. Oh look, you can see all this lube that I wanted to buy. Sorry. I like, oh yeah, look it. I was looking at these. I was looking at these. I was thinking about buying one of these to fidget with during the show. This thing, this Python power twist bar, and I thought it would be fun for the boys, those old school things. Anyway, I do those three websites. I’m a consumer Jethro. Good morning. New affiliate is posting a picture showing you bought stuff from Craig Ritchi Virtue Signaling. Ooh, that is a good question. I don’t really understand Virtue signaling.
(17:36):
Who texted me yesterday or the day before? I can’t remember, but I think it was yesterday in the morning, Jeremy texted me, black man, Jeremy in the chat and he just said, Chad. Then I called him back. I’m like, Hey, what’s up? And we talked for a minute and he was like, Hey. I go, okay, I’ll probably do Chad. I’m going to take the kids to tennis and then jiujitsu, I’ll come home and just get blown out of my mind on caffeine and I’ll do Chad. He’s like, cool. Then he said, take video of it and post it.
(18:19):
That rubbed me the wrong way. I took a picture of my face to show that I did it. I did it because I was a mess looked. I looked like someone punched me in the face and threw a bucket of water on me, but I decided not to post it. I didn’t have the humility, so I took a picture of the clicker and the, oh, hey Mike Sauer. I went in FaceTime and turned off that stuff that you’re talking about that’s causing all those problems. I turned it off in FaceTime. I saw this one too.
(19:05):
I was telling everyone you did Chad Virtue signaling, hold on. I need to look up virtue signaling. Maybe it is virtue signaling. I’m just telling you I can feel it in my calves the whole time. The public expression of opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one’s good character or social consciousness or moral correctness. I guess there’s a little bit of that. I mean, only the person who does it knows, right? I’m probably like 30% virtue signaling and 70% just, I know a bunch of you guys did it too. So finding common ground, you know what I mean? Talking to you about it. If we both used to date the same chick, we’re like, did she do this for you? And you’re like, yeah, she did. You know what I mean? Like 30% of it’s bragging. You had that girlfriend, the other 70 percent’s like you want to compare notes. It’s more like that.
(20:05):
It’s lack of virtue Signaling. Yeah, virtue signaling blade. It’s a public expression of opinions or sentiments. I think going to church is probably virtue signaling. Isn’t there somewhere in the Bible where Jesus talks about that, where he says, if you pray for me in church, you’ll receive my glory there. Meaning I think what he means is, or he says something like, you’ll receive something from your peers, but if you pray behind closed doors, you get the abundance, full abundance of glory of God or some shit like that. When I pick up trash at the skate park, I’m not virtue signaling. When I come back here and tell you guys about it, I am virtue signaling, fuck. I should just not pick up the trash and just tell you guys, I did it. Cut out the middleman. Oh wow. Jake Chapman, this conversation’s taken a crazy twist. How to break a man’s heart. Tell him you did insert sexual act with his ex and you won’t do it again because it hurt too much. Geez Louise. And then finally, 21 minutes into the show, I get some validation. So here we go back to, let’s get back to the show.
(21:45):
This is the no judgment zone. I wish I knew how to make this better, but I don’t have Caleb here. This is CrossFit, all elements in Neon, Switzerland, McDonald’s, all elements. It’s something in some foreign language I don’t understand in whatever they speak in Switzerland. A special announcement, new partnership between CrossFit all elements and McDonald’s. We’re thrilled to announce that CrossFit, all elements and McDonald’s, la Cote restaurants have joined forces to bring you an exceptional wellness experience. Excuse me, what did you say? On one hand, CrossFit all elements. Your designation for ultimate fitness, strength and endurance. Whether you’re a seasoned athlete or just starting your journey to more active lifestyle. CrossFit all elements has you covered on the other side, and they show a packet of french fries, McDonald’s, an icon of fast food. We understand that balance between pleasure and wellbeing is essential. I didn’t know, is that what McDonald’s is? It’s a pleasure house. They’re not referring it as an eating place. It’s a pleasure house. Right? It’s a pleasure and well, we understand that a balance between pleasure and wellbeing is essential. Alright. Together we believe that the key to healthy living lives in diversity, motivation, and moderation. Diversity lies in diversity, healthy living lies in diversity, motivation and moderation.
(23:45):
God, this just such horse shit. It’s just such horse shit. Our partnership offers you the opportunity to enjoy McDonald’s. Gourmet Delights well enjoys the opportunity. Gourmet Gourmet. Gourmet Gourmet delights a connoisseur of good food. A person with a discerning palette Gourmet. Our partnership offers you CrossFit all elements partnership with McDonald’s. I just can’t believe I’m saying that offers you the opportunity to enjoy McDonald’s Gourmet Delights while pursuing your fitness goals and CrossFit all elements. We can’t wait to join you on this unique adventure. Get ready to experience the perfect balance of fitness and indulgence. Stay tuned for more surprises coming your way. Love Sporty Beth. Hey dude, I ain’t shitting on McDonald’s.
(25:14):
I’m not. Do what you want. Eat what you want, but you will turn into a pile of shit if you order a hamburger, French fries and milkshake. If you eat there once a year or some shit while you have this drive, you do three times a year with your family. I’m just trying to think of what we did as a kid. We would go there, but it would always be on these crazy fucking 10 hour drives. We’d stop, use their bathroom, get chicken McNuggets, but it’s fucking attached to the place. It’s part of your lifestyle. I don’t think McDonald’s should be part of your lifestyle.
(26:08):
I don’t recommend it. I don’t think that that canola shit, and I don’t think those french fries, you’re not supposed to when you go see, it’s like just eating dessert, I guess is what I’m saying. It’s just eating dessert. It’s like going somewhere and ordering a cake for the dinner and then ice cream for the dessert. I’m not trying to shame anyone for going there, hating on it. I think I’ve mellowed in that, but to be attached to it and be, what does it say here on the other side of me? What does it say? We can’t wait for you to join this unique adventure and get ready to experience the perfect balance of fitness and indulgence. You don’t need McDonald’s attached to your gym. If you want balance from it, it won’t sustain it. It won’t sustain the business, man.
(27:09):
Excuse me. What a trip. I want to look at CrossFit all elements. Oh dude, this gym has 5,400 followers on Instagram. That’s incredible. Oh, they got, wow. They do vember. They do pink October. So they’re against cancer. That’s amazing. Oh, I wonder what the comments say. Can I read the comments on this? I wonder what the people say. Oh, there are no comments. Oh, they have the comments turned off. Holy shit. Wow. Wow. Oh, that’s crazy. They have the comments turned off. What does that mean when they have the comments turned off? That means you’re getting as pounded.
(28:09):
Is that I had apple cinnamon. I dunno what that word is. Bonnets. I hope that that was good. That sounds like it was a waste of calories. If you’re going to eat junk food, eat the good shit. Ken Walters perfect example of why Greg said he didn’t want affiliate selling anything. That wouldn’t be better than the training. Well, yeah. There you go. Yeah, I don’t think you want to be. That’s a great point. Why not? Yeah, exactly. Why not be associated with a barbecue place next door that’s just like, just crazy zone food. Just Brussels sprouts and meat.
(29:00):
Lots of cancer stuff. Ironically, everyone in the gym looks fit as shit in all their pictures. They don’t look like they ate at McDonald’s. I kind of don’t believe it. A McDonald’s and a CrossFit gym pairing up. How about this? Do you guys remember? I wonder if I’m going to get in trouble for showing this. You guys remember the guy who was taking pictures in bathrooms at the games? I don’t know why, but in my head I assumed it was a dude taking pictures of girls. I don’t know, but it’s a dude taking pictures of dude.
The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.
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