The Beach Front Life | Live Call In

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

Morning. You’re like, I’m making a lifestyle change. Bam. We’re live. That’s what it was. That’s how

Mattew Souza (00:04):

I, sometimes when I get up early, the first thing I think about is, fuck, tomorrow I’m just going to sleep in.

Sevan Matossian (00:11):

Oh, that’s nice. Well, what’s crazy is I

Mattew Souza (00:13):

Never do though.

Sevan Matossian (00:15):

I hit, I don’t ever hit the snooze and I hit the snooze this morning on my phone. I hit the whatever the, and I slept another eight minutes. I laid there for eight minutes. You know how I don’t actually go back to sleep?

Mattew Souza (00:29):


Sevan Matossian (00:30):

I was just telling su, I’m going too hard here in Newport. I had one of those moments when you go too hard one day, and then in the middle of the night you wake up and you’re like making lifestyle changes. You’re like, okay, tomorrow I’m going to fast. I’m going to do two workouts. I slept like shit last night. I’ve been abusing myself. I got to stop snorting so much meth.

Mattew Souza (00:52):

I haven’t slept in two days.

Sevan Matossian (00:53):

Yeah, my goodness. Hey, I made a post saying that I was the number nine biggest podcast in the world. Someone swapped out the picture of ever podcast that is and put me in there. I guess that guy, I guess the name of that podcast has the word CEO in it, and so people actually think that it’s real. Hey, which is kind of cool.

Mattew Souza (01:20):

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. They believe it can happen. Not everybody,

Sevan Matossian (01:25):

You know?

Mattew Souza (01:26):


Sevan Matossian (01:29):

Avon’s Mayhem Empire podcast. Here we go. I don’t know my values, my values align with their values. I don’t think their values quite align with my values. I have my foreskin.

Mattew Souza (01:45):

That’s a deal breaker for the mayhem.

Sevan Matossian (01:47):

I mean, joking, not joking. No, no, no. I’m carnivore. I’m carnivore as a motherfucker. I only snort the lines off of a cow’s ass. No, no, no margaritas. Nothing like that. No, no, no. Thank you though. Thank you for asking. No margaritas. I think, seriously. I think I had the meat sweats last night. Have you ever had meat? Legit meat sweats?

Mattew Souza (02:17):


Sevan Matossian (02:17):

Yeah. Had some meat sweats.

Mattew Souza (02:19):

I’ve only got ’em once in the evening time. Actually, I think it was in Scottsdale when Greg had that chef at the house and just made all that meat and I hadn’t eaten all day, so I made a plate, but then I stood next to the meat and just kept eating it as I was hanging out and talking and didn’t realize how much I ate, so,

Sevan Matossian (02:37):

So then you get back to your hotel room and you were sleeping, and then in the middle of the night you woke up and you were sweating.

Mattew Souza (02:41):

Oh, just wake up and you just feel so fricking hot and flushed, and I feel kind of nauseous when that happens.

Sevan Matossian (02:49):

Yeah. I’ve been getting up an hour extra early and I’ve been going to bed just as late and last night before I went to bed, Haley put on two ribeyes and I ate one, and then in the middle of the night, I feel like it’s tingling all over my skin, and then I’m kind of just waking up and I’m paying attention to it. Next thing I know water’s coming out of those, wherever those tingling spots are and then more water, and it’s almost like I have a fever.

Mattew Souza (03:21):

It’s your body rejecting it, right? At least.

Sevan Matossian (03:23):

I don’t know what the fuck it is. I didn’t know whatever. My body turned the meat in the water.


Excuse me. Professor Pero, nice to see you. Welcome to the show, professor. You needed a level two CrossFit. That’s a course Susa ticket. You need your level two CrossFit course. Certificate Pass. Show that you went there, paid your money two day thing to open a box. I don’t know if that’s true though. I think you only need your level one to open a box, but anyway, I’ll go with you. I’m rolling with you. To raise the quality of boxes yet you have to print out your own cert. You don’t get an official printed copy. It’s absurd. Oh, please. Do You really have to print out your own cert? I mean, it’s petty what you’re saying, but I can get petty with you. I’m with you. That’s

Mattew Souza (04:11):

Okay. Well, we could get petty, but what the fuck does that have to do with the knowledge? You learn cert or no cert? I watch people get handed degrees from Ivy League schools and didn’t fucking learn shit.

Sevan Matossian (04:20):

Hey guys. Susa has completely abandoned the hater realm. I want to, this show used to have Edge. I’m tired of people asking me if I’m fucking sucking David On’s Dick. It’s Susa. Susa got a dollop on his back or something. My God. He’ll go, Jesus cry me. He’ll go to bat for any, he just went to his level two guys. He’s all high and shit. He’s been hard for more than four hours.

Mattew Souza (04:44):


Sevan Matossian (04:44):

Needs to see a

Mattew Souza (04:44):

Doctor. He needs a, yeah.

Sevan Matossian (04:47):

It’s been hard since Sunday. Holy

Mattew Souza (04:48):

Across an approved doctor though. When

Sevan Matossian (04:50):

He drove home, he needs to stand. He needs a stand. My God. Nice try, professor. Not here, not today. Give it a week. We’ll see if this erection goes away.

Mattew Souza (05:02):


Sevan Matossian (05:03):


Mattew Souza (05:04):

I pay my affiliate fee this week, so let me pay that. I’ll get nice and bitter.

Sevan Matossian (05:08):

Yeah, good. About 15 year affiliate. Text me this morning and said I’m out. That was interesting. Oh,

Mattew Souza (05:14):


Sevan Matossian (05:15):

Yeah. He said, Hey, my fees are due. I’m out. Oh, shit. I said, keep me posted. I mean, I’m sure they’re going to call the dude. They kind of have to, right? They’re going to be like, Hey. Oh, they should. I mean, yeah, by have to. I mean, it’s the right thing to do. Call. Hey dude, what’s up? Why you up? Yeah.

Mattew Souza (05:32):

Wasn’t that one of your suggestion years ago, some sort of exit, either complication or survey or something like that where you talk to the affiliate and be like, Hey, what’s going on?

Sevan Matossian (05:43):

Jesus Christ. Why are numbers so low? This isn’t the fucking coffee pods and wads or

Mattew Souza (05:47):

It’s not popping. I just checked on my YouTube too. There is dead silent that we are on live.

Sevan Matossian (05:52):

Listen, guys, this

Mattew Souza (05:58):

I switched tomorrow’s show to today. I think that might

Sevan Matossian (06:00):

Partly be fucked it up. Listen, listen. This isn’t a Pedro show. You’ll understand everything I say. You may not agree with it, but you won’t have to decode it or your English decoder.

Mattew Souza (06:12):


Sevan Matossian (06:15):

This isn’t the get with the programming show where every third sentence is. What do you think? 21, 15 9 or 12? Nine three. What do you think

Mattew Souza (06:23):

Chase? Well, that workout was stupid because it needed to be down by twos and not threes.

Sevan Matossian (06:28):

Jesus crime, man. Come on. Come on. Load in. Load in. We got some fun shit. That’s my imitation of a cd. Skipping from the eighties. Dude, Pedro’s funny as shit. He’s doing straight up standup comedy shit on that show yesterday. He said something so funny and then someone said, how long have you been preparing that? And he goes, that just came out on the fly. Fuck. It was funny.

Mattew Souza (06:59):

Yeah, he’s really coming to his own the fake news with the heat one up. I think he just posted something new right now. He did, but that shit is gold. He’s really found a nice groove.

Sevan Matossian (07:12):

Hey, this whole thing between D and Pepper and Oh yeah, go ahead. Let’s see. Let’s see. Let’s see what Pedro says. Here we go.

Speaker 3 (07:19):

Heat one app Legends the new home of the masters CrossFit Games was on this weekend and it got huge support from CrossFit HQ with absolutely zero footage whatsoever, not dissimilar from Fit Fest in the uk, which didn’t have a live stream because it was going to affect ticket sales from people in, I dunno, Texas D and Pepper has been added to the Kremlin watch list for this assassination attempt. Buttery games. Episode one released last week on the Buttery Rosey YouTube channel, and it gave a lot of rain athletes their first official taste of rain energy drink Sava NATO has in a bizarre 180, turned on CrossFit and undone all of their positive PO that they’ve built up over the last few years on whether or not CrossFit is safe.

Sevan Matossian (08:02):

I did CrossFit for, I went to a CrossFit class and I got injured. That shit’s dangerous. So dangerous intensity is the death of all old. And

Speaker 3 (08:11):

Finally, the 2023 Internationals CrossFit Global Ker Competition Community Awards have been announced.

Speaker 4 (08:19):

I don’t know if we find the better panel of people who could represent the international CrossFits global competition community than the three of

Speaker 3 (08:27):

Us. Congratulations. Be friendly. Fitness. No praise, like self praise, faith, music,

Mattew Souza (08:35):

Global, global. Dude,

Sevan Matossian (08:39):

What is going on? There is so much hate towards the Dubai thing. I didn’t watch any of that. I just want to see Ricky with his shirt off, but what the fuck is going on over there? Why is everyone just, every comp is just getting ass pounded.

Mattew Souza (08:53):

Yeah, it’s not looking good, huh?

Caleb Beaver (08:56):

Somebody’s holding them accountable for once. I feel like they haven’t done anything. Nobody’s said anything about any competition in a poor light since the inception of CrossFit.

Mattew Souza (09:06):


Sevan Matossian (09:07):

Now everyone’s just getting stuck.


But the thing is, is that Master’s Comp was insane, dude. It was amazing. But they got as pounded for not showing it and Dubai, it’s like they’re getting as pounded because the workouts suck and things are changing last minute and I guess that dude Derek was atrocious and I mean, I don’t even know what’s going on. I know nothing. I’m on a thread where people are talking about it nonstop and I know nothing. I couldn’t tell you one workout. I couldn’t tell you how many workouts. I couldn’t tell you who won nothing. Yeah. See, look at Alison. I’m lost. I’m lost too. Alison’s like I’m lost. I’m lost too. Excuse me. Nice to see you though. Look at Andrew Hiller. There’s not much hate. I don’t watch any of it. Yeah, well, I just have no interest in it. It was amazing. I was there. Hey, I was there for the legends. It was amazing. I bet you if I went to Dubai. I think it’s amazing too. That’s the other thing too. You’re not at the games and we’re sitting back in our chairs just ripping the shit out of it. We went to the games and you come back high as a kite. You’re like, damn,

Caleb Beaver (10:14):

Shit. We all just mad that we didn’t go. Is that what it is?

Sevan Matossian (10:19):

Travel. I’d be pretty mad if I flew to Dubai,

Mattew Souza (10:22):

Fly across the world to watch people do thrusters fast. No.

Sevan Matossian (10:26):

Had my sons with me and there were in first class.

Mattew Souza (10:30):

Well, yeah. That’s a whole different ballgame there, huh?

Sevan Matossian (10:33):

Oh, I like this post. Oh shit. Okay, here we go. Adam Blakesley a dba. Alison a d Bagg is a douche bag. A douche bag is an old school thick silicone bag that you fill with hot water that women wash their pussies out with. Darn it. I bet you we got dinged for that

Mattew Souza (10:52):

For sure.

Sevan Matossian (10:53):

A DBA walked into my ongoing class this morning, took off his shirt and started posing green hair and guess the piercing location. Wow. Really? A dude. It was a dude

Mattew Souza (11:09):

That’s like just started posing, just

Sevan Matossian (11:13):

I guess, yeah, you

Caleb Beaver (11:14):

Have mirrors in your gym.

Sevan Matossian (11:16):

Send video. I want to see it.

Caleb Beaver (11:18):

I thought that was a thing. You didn’t have mirrors and affiliates.

Sevan Matossian (11:20):

The thought of someone with green hair walking into across a gym. I wish they would just melt. You know what I mean? Like a vampire walks into a church.

Mattew Souza (11:28):

Sorry. Maybe they’re there for Salvation.

Sevan Matossian (11:30):

Hashtag inclusive. Andrew Hiller caulk. Andrew Hiller. I cannot recommend you enough. Andrew Hiller. I cannot commend you enough for your bet video, bro. So good and fun. No, I need to watch that. I had time.

Mattew Souza (11:43):


Sevan Matossian (11:44):

It is awesome.

Mattew Souza (11:45):

I enjoyed it. I liked it. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (11:47):

I had time to listen to it yesterday. I didn’t have time to

Mattew Souza (11:52):

Watch it.

Sevan Matossian (11:53):

Watch it so I didn’t listen to it. Visual. I want to watch it visual. It is a visual. Yeah. I want to look at fucking beautiful Tyson. Does Hill have a shirt off in it?

Mattew Souza (12:02):

No. No, but the handstand walk down the hallway part is really cool and it just cool the way Hiller makes those videos. It just makes you feel like you were there and then when you’re not there, you’re like, oh, I’m bummed because I’m not there. But he does a good job of just showcasing, hanging out, asking him questions.

Caleb Beaver (12:19):

Maybe we should just hate on him. We weren’t there.

Sevan Matossian (12:21):

Yeah, I agree.

Mattew Souza (12:22):

Right now we’re talking Caleb. Yeah, that thing sucked. Yeah,

Caleb Beaver (12:25):

That was

Sevan Matossian (12:25):

Bullshit. It’s just open. Everyone’s just hating on Hiller. I heard Hiller’s represented by James Neely.

Caleb Beaver (12:34):

Neely or Sealy.

Sevan Matossian (12:35):

Yeah. James Neely got a Hiller a C four contract. It’s fucking amazingly. Gets a 12 pack every week. It’s fucking crazy.


Oh, geez. I was, there’s this article I want to show you guys. Where is it? It’s on Beaners, but it really kind of inspired me to, I was tripping on racial slurs yesterday. Again, I’m always tripping on racial slurs. I love racial slurs. If you type out a racial slur, the whole word is typed out. Unless it’s just one particular racial slur, one of the racial slurs gets asterisk marks. For some reason it’s so bad that you can’t even type this fucking thing out. You guys know which one it is? Go ahead. Guess in the comments. I’m joking. Do not guess in the comments. Do not guess in the comments, please.

Caleb Beaver (13:35):

Should we have a poll for this one?

Sevan Matossian (13:43):

You can say so many racial. You can type out so many racial sls. You could type out a sentence. I was walking down the street yesterday and three guys called me a kike and chased me and my kids and said, fuck your kite kids. It would be S spelled out. It wouldn’t be like you at Harvard.

Sevan Matossian (13:59):

Yeah, I was at Harvard

Sevan Matossian (14:05):

Said you get with a four year degree, you could write, you could write. How do you spell it? K-Y-K-E-S. Is that how you spell it? Or it would be nice if it was just like kites.

Mattew Souza (14:18):

Yeah, that’s what I was

Sevan Matossian (14:19):

K-I-K-E-S. I think it’s got a Y in it. I don’t know if I’ve ever written it out, but

Caleb Beaver (14:25):


Sevan Matossian (14:27):

KIKE. It is like that, huh? Oh, that’s nice. That’s a nice

Caleb Beaver (14:31):

Y. The Y doesn’t make sense.

Sevan Matossian (14:35):

Yeah, so you don’t have to do it. Doesn’t make it makes sense. Kai. Kai, how is KAKE ing spell his name? I bet you that’s with a

Caleb Beaver (14:43):

YKA or C-A-I-Q-U-E. That’s how he spell spells it.

Sevan Matossian (14:47):

Oh, that would be amazing if Kike was spelled like that. C-A-I-Q-U-E.

Caleb Beaver (14:51):


Mattew Souza (14:55):

It’s got that Q in it.

Sevan Matossian (14:56):

Oh, here we go. Oh wait. Lemme see what’s going on in Trinidad. Tobago racist jokes. Oh, here we go. This isn’t a foreign land. People ignore. 80% of this is not going to be true. Ser and Kelly racist jokes are the new phase on Trinidad schools. The kids come home laughing at every word that has black in it and making reference to monkeys. Wow.

Caleb Beaver (15:16):

It’s coming full circle.

Sevan Matossian (15:17):

Yeah, so you’re us. You’re the United States in the sixties.

Caleb Beaver (15:20):

It’s just like these are coming back.

Sevan Matossian (15:22):

No, no. Hey, dude. Someone had to make that pattern. Can you imagine that? Yeah. Is such a good job at some point. No, they did not.

Caleb Beaver (15:33):

Yeah, and then the button is even metal. It’s like a metal button. It snaps really well. You

Sevan Matossian (15:37):

See that at some point your jacket was not on the 50% off rack. Someone bought that

Caleb Beaver (15:43):

At some point. North Face didn’t have a 50% discount year round, so there’s that too.

Sevan Matossian (15:49):

That’s good point. I mean, they got to know that. They make that and they’re like, okay, this,

Mattew Souza (15:56):

I have a north,

Sevan Matossian (15:56):

Hey, the Rads kill it. And I think those are the ugliest fucking things ever. They look fucking, they look like jazzer sized marshmallow shoes. They look like they’re joke shoes. They look like something Reebok would make, but people love ’em, so fuck. What do I know?

Mattew Souza (16:08):

Yeah. Have you tried ’em yet?

Sevan Matossian (16:09):


Mattew Souza (16:10):

Caleb, have you tried? Yeah,

Caleb Beaver (16:11):

I wear ’em all the time. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (16:14):

Let me see your feet right now. You got ’em on now?

Caleb Beaver (16:16):

No, I’ve got nanos on now. These are like my house shoes. Nanos are my house shoes. These are my house shoes.

Sevan Matossian (16:21):

Is that racist? Your house shoes

Mattew Souza (16:24):

Selling some feet picks.

Caleb Beaver (16:25):

Then I got, I use Rads for training only.

Sevan Matossian (16:28):

Look at these people. Rads are the best. Look.

Mattew Souza (16:31):

Yeah. Rad. I’ve been working out with them for a while. I like them too.

Sevan Matossian (16:35):

Sean Linderman. Caleb, can you stand up so we can give you a handy a stand? Oh,

Caleb Beaver (16:39):

Yes. Got one of those yesterday.

Sevan Matossian (16:42):

No shit. Noble had a 50% off sale last month.

Mattew Souza (16:46):

What? I never received. You just buy it and they never send it.

Caleb Beaver (16:54):


Sevan Matossian (16:55):


Speaker 7 (16:56):

Hey. S

Sevan Matossian (16:58):

Hey. What’s up?

Speaker 7 (16:59):

Hey, it’s View.

Sevan Matossian (17:00):

Hey, Rosie. View. What’s up?

Speaker 7 (17:02):

Hey. Hi. Just want to interrupt your conversation. I have a really quick question. Okay. And maybe just maybe Susan can Well,

Sevan Matossian (17:11):

You’re already way past the quick part, just so you know. Way past, way past.

Mattew Souza (17:17):

Yes. CrossFit’s the best.

Speaker 7 (17:22):

So my gym that I go to, I’ve been going there since 2013, and right now our gym owner is literally demanding that every single member gives a review, otherwise he won’t post the workouts anymore. He’s holding every single person accountable to post a review and then he won’t post the workouts until post

Sevan Matossian (17:51):

A review. Rosie, hold on a second. You mean post a review on Yelp?

Speaker 7 (17:55):

No, on Facebook

Sevan Matossian (17:57):

Of his gym. He wants you to be like, oh, he joking. Is it in jest? Is it to motivate? No,

Mattew Souza (18:05):

Wait, hold on. Joking. Let me ask a question. You’ve been going there since 2013. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (18:10):

Yeah. I Dude,

Mattew Souza (18:11):

You enjoy going there. You like it?

Speaker 7 (18:13):


Mattew Souza (18:14):

So why haven’t you left a review?

Sevan Matossian (18:16):


Speaker 7 (18:17):

I love a

Sevan Matossian (18:17):

Review. Oh,

Mattew Souza (18:18):

Oh. Well then you’re good to go. Whatcha worried

Sevan Matossian (18:19):

About you like that? So are you praising him? Are you saying that’s pretty cool? Are you giving that advice to all gym owners or they should all be like, Hey,

Mattew Souza (18:26):


Speaker 7 (18:29):

I think it’s kind of a dick move because honestly, what if people don’t have Facebook? There’s lots of people

Sevan Matossian (18:35):

That I don’t have Facebook. I don’t do Facebook. I don’t do

Speaker 7 (18:37):

Facebook. I wouldn’t do Facebook either if I didn’t have a business, and that’s how a lot of people contact me and find me. But also I think it’s ridiculous post the workouts because that’s how some people, I don’t know if they did a hard leg workout, what if they don’t want to go the next day or something? You know what I mean? They don’t know what the workouts are. Some people are just like, they’re planners. I

Mattew Souza (18:58):

Dunno. Double down and say unknown and unknowable. That’s what we’re testing this week. Hey, awesome methodology.

Sevan Matossian (19:04):

What review did you leave? What did you say?

Speaker 7 (19:08):

I said, I’ve been going to the gym since 2013. I’ve never stopped coming and this cost is the best things that I’ve ever done. Something around those lines. I believe

Sevan Matossian (19:24):

You should have just wrote that. I’ve never stopped coming.

Speaker 7 (19:31):

God dang it. I fell to that one. Anyway.

Mattew Souza (19:34):

Anyways, I would not do that. I would not give,

Sevan Matossian (19:38):

Hey, what about saying this Su, would you say this? Hey, can you guys please leave a review? It would help business.

Mattew Souza (19:45):

That’s exactly what I do say. Yeah, sometimes we’ll push it. We’ll be like, Hey guys, if you have a second, if you could leave us a Google review, it’d mean the world to us. We really want to keep this going and if you enjoy being here, please help us out. If you don’t, don’t say shit. Don’t even touch the review. Stay away. Do you

Caleb Beaver (19:58):

Have a QR code or something that makes it easy for them to, I’m going to scan this and I’m going to leave a review kind of thing. Anybody

Speaker 7 (20:06):

At our gym? No.

Mattew Souza (20:08):

Oh, man.

Caleb Beaver (20:09):

That makes it super easy.

Mattew Souza (20:11):

It does, and we did that at our gym as well too.

Speaker 7 (20:14):

Yeah. I guess there was a link that was sent out to a private, we have a private Facebook group for all the gym members, and I’m not a part of that because my old Facebook got hacked, so I have a new Facebook and everybody’s like, oh yeah, you leave a review. You see the link in the Facebook chat? And I was like, no.

Sevan Matossian (20:32):

Hey, you know what you could do? That idea Caleb had is pretty fucking great. You could buy one of those stands that someone just a cheap stand that holds an 18 by 32 poster board on it and put the QR code huge on it and put, please review this gym and then just set it up in the entryway and just be like, you’re welcome. And then also tell him, be like, Hey dude, you owe me a month’s membership for that.

Speaker 7 (20:59):

Well, he’s giving away a hundred. I think it’s like $200.

Sevan Matossian (21:02):

You just tell him, you just set that up for him and you tell him he gives you a month’s free membership. Susa hates this, but she strong arm his ass back.

Mattew Souza (21:11):


Speaker 7 (21:12):

I just think it’s a little ridiculous because as me being a business owner at photography, I could be like, oh, if you don’t run a review for my business, I’m not giving you your photos. I kind of feel like

Mattew Souza (21:23):

That it should not be a threat. And one of the things that we did that you’re not supposed to do, but we might’ve done, is, Hey, have you tried a Fit Aid? No. Oh, if you leave a review,

Sevan Matossian (21:33):

I was going

Mattew Souza (21:33):

To ask, we’ll, giving you out a free Fit aid, but they’re not connected at all. You just leave the review and we give you a free fit aid.

Speaker 7 (21:41):


Sevan Matossian (21:41):

I love the QR code thing. You should tell him that he should do that. That’s a great idea. Then you don’t even have to strong arm anyone. People will just do that

Mattew Souza (21:50):

QR code. That’s crazy.

Speaker 7 (21:54):

Right? Yeah. I mean, I just want to know your guys’ input on it because it’s been really frustrating for a lot of members. They’re like, why the heck? They want to leave a review, but now they feel like they don’t want to leave a review now because he’s demanding it. Otherwise he’s not posting the workouts. Since then, I feel like some people are going to be like, well, screw you. I’m leaving the gym.

Mattew Souza (22:15):

Yeah. That’s not the best strategy. I would not use the threat for a review.

Speaker 7 (22:22):

Yeah, exactly.

Mattew Souza (22:23):

I agree. I agree with you. I agree with you and what Caleb said about this QR code is definitely the way, reduce that friction and then give an incentive to do it, not a punishment. That’s crazy, right? That’s like dictator status as opposed to like,

Speaker 7 (22:37):

Well, I mean, I don’t think he listens to the show, but he’s kind of a little strong and mighty.

Mattew Souza (22:45):


Sevan Matossian (22:47):

How tall is

Mattew Souza (22:48):

He? Small ppp.

Speaker 7 (22:49):

He’s pretty

Sevan Matossian (22:49):

Tall. He’s a big dude. Yeah. It’s always tall dudes. Fuck those guys. Short dudes are really confident in their, well, he

Speaker 7 (22:55):

Did go to the games. He went to the games as a master.

Sevan Matossian (22:58):

Yeah. He’s a fucking high and mighty guy, but

Speaker 7 (23:03):

Knows who he’s so

Mattew Souza (23:05):

Will make a video on reviews.

Speaker 7 (23:07):

I’m surprised he hasn’t made a video on him yet.

Sevan Matossian (23:11):

Puts TT that shoots TRT into that guy.

Speaker 7 (23:14):


Sevan Matossian (23:16):

Just telling you the It was

Speaker 7 (23:17):


Sevan Matossian (23:18):

Yep. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 7 (23:19):


Sevan Matossian (23:20):

Alright, well thank you. Well,

Speaker 7 (23:22):

I suppose everybody probably just pounding me in the comments, so I might as well

Sevan Matossian (23:25):

Get off. Everyone wants to pound me.

Mattew Souza (23:27):


Speaker 7 (23:28):

Oh my gosh, St. Oh, by the way, your package will be arriving soon.

Sevan Matossian (23:34):

My package is right here.

Speaker 7 (23:36):

Oh my God. No.

Sevan Matossian (23:37):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. S yeah.

Speaker 7 (23:41):

Thank you. Okay, well I’ll guys

Mattew Souza (23:44):


Sevan Matossian (23:44):

Okay. Remember, everyone wants a stand.

Mattew Souza (23:48):

Oh my gosh. Bye. Bye. Bye. That was a cool call, and I like when people have those real life things going down like that.

Sevan Matossian (23:59):

She has so much energy.

Mattew Souza (24:01):

She’s great.

Sevan Matossian (24:03):


Mattew Souza (24:06):

She’s always fun.

Sevan Matossian (24:08):

I’m in full VO this morning. I think that’s not good for me. That’s my

Mattew Souza (24:12):

Wife’s fault. What? You said you were slaying him. Quick, going quick.

Sevan Matossian (24:18):

Oh, Jedi. Nothing. Almost everyone likes a stand. Oh, great. Thank you. I am an absolutist and sometimes I forget about, I need to be more inclusive. Thank you Tiah for keeping it real. Cock bro. Rookie qb will Levi’s puts be sw to shame. Dude is a freak. I want to see them battle. Oh, oh, he’s a beja. Just has a great body bet’s like a fucking underwear model. He looks like

Mattew Souza (24:51):

Calvin Klein.

Sevan Matossian (24:52):

He could be a Calvin Klein model. Yeah. He just has a good body. He looks like just a great athletic body. You know those dogs hunting dogs like a VLA just got a fucking nice fucking body on that dog

Mattew Souza (25:07):

Built for performance.

Sevan Matossian (25:08):

Yeah. What a nice, yeah, and this, yeah, this guy’s more muscular and shit. Right? Look at him. Jesus brick shithouse. You’re right.

Mattew Souza (25:18):


Sevan Matossian (25:20):

I bet you that’s more injury prone. Does that guy start

Mattew Souza (25:27):

This dude?

Sevan Matossian (25:29):

I don’t know, but you know what’s crazy? He looks fucking 10 years older than our guy. Let’s see him with this shirt off Pet in the donkey.

Mattew Souza (25:41):

He developed his pecs a little better, but it’s

Sevan Matossian (25:44):

Okay. Yeah. I’m a Tyson. I like Tyson’s body. I Tyson’s got more of that. Matthew McConaughey Long.

Mattew Souza (25:55):


Sevan Matossian (25:58):

I’m more of a Brad Pitt. I’m more of a Brad Pitt and Troy than a, what’s the other guy’s name? Who was in the other one that everyone always thinks is better, but it’s not

Mattew Souza (26:05):

Snatch. Brad Pitt Gladiator.

Sevan Matossian (26:08):

Gladiator. What was that guy’s name? Howard Hughes. Hugh Hefner Crow Russell Crowe. I’m more of a Troy Ekman. I’m more of a Troy. Brad Pitt Troy than a Russell Crow gladiator. Wow. My brain is not working today. That took fucking like 90% of my horsepower to get that sentence out. He’s crying.

Mattew Souza (26:29):

It’s all downhill from here. 26 minutes in

Sevan Matossian (26:37):

Many people of Mexican descent can vividly describe the moment they heard the epithet beaner as a child or a young adult. It stung to them. It said, you’re not American. You never will be. Get the fuck out of here. No one ever thought that, and if they did, that’s beaner. What a gentle epithet Last spring. This is an article, by the way, from 2019, listen to this last spring, Google searches for the term spike when Latino men revealed that a Starbucks barista in Southern California had written beaner on two cups. He ordered, so someone walks into a Starbucks and orders coffee and the guy writes beaner on there so that when they’re going to hand it out, when it’s ready, they know which guy to give it to.

Mattew Souza (27:25):

They probably forgot to ask for the name and they’re like, it’s for the

Sevan Matossian (27:30):

Beaner. Dude, that’s amazing.

Mattew Souza (27:32):

Hey, and I bet they spelt it out. I

Sevan Matossian (27:37):

Right, dude. This whole article Beaner iss written out like a hundred times. That’s why I started tripping. You can’t do that with every epithet, but it’s just so funny. Listen to this. Then on January 1st, the New York Times used beaner and it s spelled out again as an answer to its crossword puzzle. The clue referred to a baseball pitch to the head informally, and they apologized

Mattew Souza (28:04):

Like beaner.

Sevan Matossian (28:07):

He threw a beaner in the seventh inning and you just see someone throwing a Mexican dude. No, no, no, no. Oh my God. How about this NBC news article should apologize for calling people Mexican. That’s part of the colonial colonizing propaganda to refer to indigenous people of South America as Mexican. It’s part of the Syop Syop. I just like it how last spring, Google searches for the term spiked when Latino men shut the fuck up. That’s some fucking Andrew Hiller. Craig Ritchie fucking evidence. Google Spike saw. Damn. I just put fucking Hiller and Craig Ritchie in the same

Mattew Souza (28:51):

Bucket. They’re in the same video one time, so that’s okay. That’s

Sevan Matossian (28:54):

They’re both represented by Neely Neely. Dude, Hillary, you should ask Neely to represent you. I’m just curious to see what that, if he would, I mean, imagine someone who represents Sporty Beth.

Mattew Souza (29:11):

God, that’s going to make great news

Sevan Matossian (29:14):

What I said.

Mattew Souza (29:15):

That’s going to make great news for Pedro next week. If Andrew and in a bizarre twist of events,

Sevan Matossian (29:23):

Listen, if Pedro puts you in his heat one app review, you should send him a text and say, thank you. Most of you ding-dongs. That’s the best fucking, most love you’re going to get from anyone in the community. Just say thank you.

Mattew Souza (29:34):

That’s true. That’s what I did.

Sevan Matossian (29:35):

Yeah. Thank you for including me. You’ve been in one?

Mattew Souza (29:38):


Sevan Matossian (29:38):

Which one were you in? What’d you get? What’d he say

Mattew Souza (29:40):

About you? He called me Sugary Souza and said that I paired up with the Sugar-free revolution and then just showed multiple snapshots of me eating a donut and a piece of cake at Jr’s competition. No shit. He found a photo of you eating. God. He didn’t find it. He took it. Oh. Literally went to the back and there wasn’t much anything to eat there. There was a Krispy Kre.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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