Taylor Self (00:00):

Yeah, dude, we’re about to be alive. What’s up you guys Welcome to shut Up and Scribble JR Howell on the right side of your screen. Boom. Like that. And then my name’s Taylor Self and we both love CrossFit. We both love programming

JR Howell (00:19):

And one of us is extremely anxious right now.

Taylor Self (00:22):

I’m doing much better now brother. Lemme tell you that. So really the biggest worry I had was test one. Obviously everybody’s getting rammed on it. Test four is going to be golden and test three, I don’t really think I’m worried about much from that workout. If anything, we’ll see.

JR Howell (00:45):

I got to ask you a question. Yeah. When it shows up that your video has been validated, does that mean it’s been reviewed or does that just mean validated?

Taylor Self (00:57):

That’s what validated means.

JR Howell (00:59):

Okay. So it wouldn’t change to a different color and say reviewed if it had been looked at and given a thumbs up to it

Taylor Self (01:07):

Would just say it says the score on your video submission has been accepted for Quarterfinal test one.

JR Howell (01:13):

So you got the email,

Taylor Self (01:14):

This ruling has been applied across your Yeah, I got the

JR Howell (01:17):

Email. Yeah, so you’re golden. I thought maybe you were just going off the app.

Taylor Self (01:21):

No, when you get the email, that’s when it updates in the app.

JR Howell (01:24):


Taylor Self (01:28):

Yeah bro, I’m good to go. Other people are taking that sch fat thing up at the rear brother. Let me tell you dude, that is crazy. Several games athletes, several outside the top 40 cut line. Yeah, I was freaking out all morning called JR a hundred times, got into a fight with my wife, all sorts of shit because I’m just freaking out out. Listen WA Zombie, they could still fuck me, right? And workout three and four I suppose, but the one I was truly worried about was workout one because everyone was getting the cock anyways, feeling a lot better Now how do you feel James?

JR Howell (02:18):

I was going to say, I mean I really feel bad for all those athletes. Yeah, hold on. Anyone who’s gotten that kind of penalty and at this point, I mean I only know of one instance ever in the history of the CrossFit games. I’m sure there are more where someone’s actually submitted. No, when someone’s actually submitted an appeal and it’s gotten overturned, typically I know I did this, I got a penalty in 2021 in the age group online qualifier, wrote out this really long thing and everyone kind of told me it was not going to be overturned. That is what happened. I just kind of got an email back saying thanks for your appeal. We’ve reviewed it this time, your score will stand. So I’d be curious if any of these rulings get overturned. I mean I hope they do because I think unfortunately we will not get some of the fittest people moving on to semifinals much less the games.


Yeah, I mean I’m not even in the position and I can’t imagine how devastated those athletes are. It does make me think what the best protocol would be moving forward in this type of situation. Obviously it’s easy to say in hindsight that like a 180 5 deadlift really, really fast or a box step up, you’re going to get athletes moving really fast and the potential for subjectivity is going to be there. So why not just do cleans at 180 5 and why not do box step overs with dumbbells because those are both a lot easier to judge online.

Taylor Self (03:59):

The snatch is no excuse on the athlete. If you’re shortening a 1 35 snatch, you’re fucking out of control.

JR Howell (04:04):

So yeah, I think there are movements that are more suited for online competition versus in-person competition, but there’s always going to be movements that we can do this on and it’s unfortunate that we have to, and I think with me, when you look at athletes that are getting penalties and athletes that are not, the one thing that you have to say is that the same person is not reviewing every single video.

Taylor Self (04:33):

Oh a hundred

JR Howell (04:33):

Percent. And if that were the case or if they had an ability to do it through ai, then I could stomach it a little bit more, but I think that’s like

Taylor Self (04:41):


JR Howell (04:42):

Fuck no, it’s a human error thing or it’s just, I mean it’s subjective, which sucks especially when it’s online and not in person. But I don’t think there’s anything else to say about it. I don’t think this is the end of it. I think there’ll probably still be more penalties levied.

Taylor Self (04:59):

Do you think on other workouts, three and four?

JR Howell (05:03):

I think three is going to be scrubbed a lot more for the protocols before the workout starts or after. Is your tape line exactly 30? Is it exactly 10 inches away on the right side of the tape, not the other side of the tape. Is your rope measured at all and if it’s measured at all, are you actually touching the target every single time? Are your ring muscle up really suspect if they look okay, I can’t see that one being judged as heavily as I can work out for because there was such an issue with people putting in incorrect scores that they went back and tried to help athletes out by fixing and that would just be one that would be an easy watch I think.

Taylor Self (05:50):

Yeah. Joey, who the fuck are you calling? Daddy? You beat me in quarterfinals so I guess you’re daddy for now. Brother

JR Howell (06:00):

Joe’s a good dude. He came last year. He was on the move fast lift heavy team.

Taylor Self (06:05):

Funny guy.

JR Howell (06:06):

Christine Best was on and he told me, he was like, Hey, my goal is to compete individually next year at Crucible. So he is making good on his word.

Taylor Self (06:14):

Yeah, he’s got a hard charge going I will say. I want to ask Joey if you don’t mind sharing the comments, if your one and two got accepted, just be curious to see is it one judge screwing everyone over? This is another question from Joey. I remember seeing it. Oh, here we go. Is there one specific judge but fucking everyone, I don’t want to say it’s one, but I would venture to say there’s a camp of people that are in the butt fucking mood and there’s a camp of people that are just in a bit of a spanking mood. I’m going to give you a little spank on the butt cheek or they’re going to treat it like online competition. If I’m watching the video in real speed and I can’t see an O rep, I’m not going to slow it down to 0.25 playback, zoom in and try to fuck people.


But there are definitely clearly, if Pat Vellner to me, if Vellner iss getting a major penalty on that workout when Pat is a fantastic mover, a veteran savvy veteran, very experienced and not someone who typically shorts things, somebody’s taking the fucking gloves off, chucking the bottle of Louvre and stripping down funk and chunking ’em in the rear hard. So that’s what I think is happening. I think there’s some people that are just crushing and it’s not the same person across the board which makes it kind of like you said, it’s stupid. If it’s not the same person then

JR Howell (07:33):

Well one of the things they think about when you go back and you look at the standards and the people I’ve spoken to who have gotten penalties, there has been a mixture. Some has been knee extension, some has been head position not being aligned with the shoulders and hips. Some have been hip extension, so that’s three different reasons for penalties. Yeah, I mean I don’t know what Pat and Tia got penalties for. You have to suck

Taylor Self (07:58):


JR Howell (07:59):

It would be Ben

Taylor Self (08:00):

Send his video to

JR Howell (08:00):

Know. But yeah, I just don’t mean he’s one of those people who I feel like has probably never gotten a penalty ever in online competition. I was more shocked to see he got a penalty than anyone. A

Taylor Self (08:14):

Hundred percent. Same thoughts on bringing feet back together within the shoulders to finish a clean your crap. That’s allowed, it’s just like bringing your feet back together from a split. In my opinion.

JR Howell (08:26):

You don’t see anyone do that, but I’ve also never seen people penalized for it,

Taylor Self (08:31):

Right? I don’t believe Pat got his penalty for snatches. I would wager to say it was step-ups.

JR Howell (08:46):

I don’t know the idea that you’re stepping up onto something holding things and that your eyes probably are not going to be down during that process going up, down and down the is especially at speed. I mean it would have to be such a conscious, I’m up. Okay, chin up. Look at the wall. I’m up. Okay, chin up. Look at the wall. If I had to guess, I would think most of the athletes are getting penalized for the head position,

Taylor Self (09:17):

Which is

JR Howell (09:18):

Targeted, which has got to be really tough.

Taylor Self (09:19):

It’s fucking dangerous. You’re not allowed to look where you’re going. Imagine telling that somebody fucking driving. Hey dude, don’t look at the road where you want to go instead look up at the fucking sky. Good rep. Oh my god, dude, somebody I’m going to lay off. I still got two workouts to be accepted and reviewed. Love you CrossFit hq. The review process is immaculate. They’ve done nothing wrong. It’s been tremendous. It’s been incredible. You’re going to love it. You’re going to love it. That’s all I got to say. Sorry.

JR Howell (10:00):

What are we here for today? We’re here first of all to make sure you guys, if you’re thinking about changing insurance providers, if you’re thinking about something that you need new insurance for, reach out to Patrick Mitrovich, lane sponsor crash Crescendo starting tomorrow. Reach out to him. Big shout out. I know Taylor has been blowing up HGR recently, getting ready for quarterfinals, crescendo semifinals training, all that kind of stuff. Great products. Look them up. Head on over to the website reaction gymnastics. Amy Frit crushing the gymnastics individual programming video review, remote coaching in-person coaching. Just can’t say enough for the sponsors that have helped us out to this

Taylor Self (10:50):

Point. You guys are incredible. Pat lge, shut the fuck up. Okay, yes, you could do that, but you would be a stupid fricking idiot. You’d probably be somebody who would vote for Biden or something if he did that to be honest.

JR Howell (11:01):

Well the thing with that is too though you can look up and not move your head. We are able to move our eyes up down side to side without changing our head position so that doesn’t always work.

Taylor Self (11:13):

2024, team name for crash. Crescendo team captain right here. Team FJB by HGR. And if you don’t know what FJB means, it means fun, jolly boys and maybe something else. Wow. So workouts. What do you think, man?

JR Howell (11:37):

How happy do you think some people are to be team athletes right now to make the decision to go team, especially ones that have been competing individually and they just see all this happening. They’re like, gosh, I’m so glad

Taylor Self (11:47):

I went. I think if you’re a team athlete, you probably aren’t happy. I think you’re probably secretly thinking, man, I’m not even good enough to be an individual and I never was and I never will be. So that’s all I have to say about team.

JR Howell (12:08):

I was just sent a DM from an individual who’s very, very, very involved in the judging circuit in the competitive CrossFit space and they said the shoulders being in front is a lot of the reason for the penalties. So the shoulders being kind of drooped over because of you holding the dumbbells. If that makes sense that you, something I noticed that you did on your video, I went back and watched it, is that at the top you really think about pulling your shoulder blades back and showing your chest and not letting your shoulders internally rotate, letting the dumbbells pull you forward so that and the hips not opening at the top. I think there seems to be four reasons for the penalties being given. I didn’t really think about the shoulders not being in line with the hips, but that does make sense.

Taylor Self (13:08):

I’m not talking trash when I’m hitting your mom from the back dildo. Sorry bro.

JR Howell (13:15):

Okay, who do you think program quarterfinals pause or

Taylor Self (13:18):

Dave? Time by time. I got to answer this question. Sorry. Love you dude. Let’s have some fun. Dude, we got some exciting shit coming up. How am I managing after last week? It took me three days to feel normal. Today was the first, I had a full training day yesterday for the most part or at least full to what it has been. Four pieces, four workouts, whatever. And I still was a bit tired yesterday. Today I hit a long piece, felt really good. I’ll go back and train a little bit more later. It’s been a lot. I would say the hardest part is now that I’m going to compete is going to be running my business and doing that because that is my priority still a hundred percent Sentinel is my priority. I love the people on that program and I want that program to be the best. So that’s going to be the tough part. Competing this weekend. It’s more about having fun with three of my really good friends and it’ll be good training, it’ll be good intensity getting back into intensity after an easier week, so to speak kind of. And then Kill Taylor is really just going to supplement my current training and what I’m going to think of it as.

JR Howell (14:34):

Why don’t you tell everybody what that is? Specifically

Taylor Self (14:35):

Kill Taylor.

JR Howell (14:36):

People that don’t know

Taylor Self (14:37):

Every week I think we’re going to do, don’t even dare. It’s not going to fall off. I’ll take last at semifinals or withdraw before it falls off. And I mean that Kilt Taylor is basically going to be a weekly live show where I make a workout up, it’s whatever I want it to be and this is why, one, I’m not making a fucking dime. I don’t get any of the money. So if I’m doing the workout and I’m putting my ass on the line, it’s going to be something I want to do it. I got to do it every single week potentially for 52 weeks if it goes well. So it’s got to be something I want to do so that I don’t get bored or I’m like, yeah, I don’t feel like doing that this week.

JR Howell (15:20):

Most importantly, it’s got to be something that you don’t think anyone can beat you at.

Taylor Self (15:23):

For the most part, I’m okay with people beating me. I would be okay with losing every week and I mean that I don’t want it to be something where it’s impossible to beat me every week. Then nobody gets to care it and that’s fucking dumb. But yeah, they’re not going to work.

JR Howell (15:36):

You would not be okay if someone beat you every week.

Taylor Self (15:40):

It would probably be good for me. Here’s the thing, they’re going to be workouts I’m good at, I’m going to get beaten. It’s going to be really fucking hard to beat me and if you don’t, the prize is going to pull up. So every week if you beat me and you beat everyone else on the show, so say 3, 2, 1, go. The show starts, I’m live, I do the workout, I finish. If you put in the chat, Hey, I think I can beat Taylor, I’m ready to go. You’ll text the work phone for the sev on podcast, we’ll drop you the streamy yard link, you jump on, then you get to go. If it comes to a point to where we, it’s obvious you’re not going to beat me, we’re booting you off the fucking chat. Next person in line. So depending on the workout length, we’re going to keep ’em.


Ideally from three to seven minutes we’ll have like three to five people trying each week. If you win, you beat everyone. You take home the 500 bucks, nobody beats me. The $500 rolls over to next week. You don’t know the week one workout. There’s no fucking way she’s beating me in it and she can try as hard as she wants, but there’s absolutely no chance she can beat me in this workout. Sorry Alex, I hope you’re listening. I hope you give it a good run. I hope I see you tomorrow at 10:00 AM Alex, no fucking chance games athlete. Anyways, that’s kind of going to be the show. I’m going to talk shit. Alex doesn’t stand a chance. There’s maybe one female on earth who could and she’s definitely not going to do it, Laura, but even her, I don’t think she’s going to have a chance to beat me. You’re going to have to pay a bit. I’m going to have to make some money if we’re going to play that game anyways, every week I make the workout, people are going to join. If nobody beats me the money pool. So if we go 10 weeks straight, no one beats me. The cash prize is 10 grand.

JR Howell (17:29):

Yeah, I mean that’s cool about it. So if people that are wondering like well, there’s not going to be a lot of people that are really high level that want take time out of their day to one, try to beat Taylor and two, try to beat Taylor, have everyone know it and not beat him just because people have big egos. But what’s cool is there’s going to be games athletes who probably say, yeah, that’s like two to three minutes of pain, but honestly I’m not doing that for 500 but I’ll do it for 5,000. So when it gets up to 5,000 and these games athletes are seeing it and they’re like, Ooh, I think I could give. I get ’em on that. That’s when it gets fun because it may be up to five grand and we may have five games athletes that all try to do it.

Taylor Self (18:14):

I saw some interest from Ariel Lowen. She doesn’t stand a chance week one either, and I saw some interest from James Sprague. He’s like, I’m just going to wait four weeks. And I was like, well, I know and I’m going to program muscle up and handstand pushups. You lanky. Fuck yes Peter. It’s not going to dip. And this is probably also accurate, although that’s not going to happen either.

JR Howell (18:38):

That’s already happened.

Taylor Self (18:39):

Stop. Stop that. No, it happened. Yes, Mason. I’m writing the workout. I kind of want to drop it early. What I think we’re going to do is I think we’re going to announce it an hour in advance so that people can at least have time to set up and warm up. The limit of people who will be able to compete against me on any given week is how long the workout is and how bored we are. If show’s probably going to be an hour, we’re not sitting around and


Allowing 10 people to go, we don’t give a fuck. It’s probably going to be like three to five people. I’m not going to program the same things every week. There’s going to be weeks that are like, holy shit, this is hard and they’re going to be weeks like, damn, some rando could beat me for sure. Again, I think the key here is it’s going to be a great opportunity for me to get intensity on a weekly basis, putting myself up against people so I’m not going to go easy, but it is going to fit into my training and they’re going to be workouts that I want to do and there are going to be things that I’m not that great at that people can definitely beat me. It’s not going to be, this is what I was talking to someone about it. I was like, Hey, do you remember Rich v Matt or Rich and Matt versus the world? That was really fucking dumb in my opinion because every time they posted a workout it was impossible to beat them. No one in the world was going to beat them. They’re the two fittest men on earth combining superpowers, touching tips, and it was just stupid. Like we don’t stand a chance. No one’s going to try. That’s not going to be the case here. You’re definitely going to be able to beat me on certain weeks.


Listen, this is just week one, quer. Okay, week two, I think we’re going to be doing Saturdays at noon Eastern I think is going to be the standard time. That way everyone for the most part should be able to have access to an affiliate. We’re just doing it Friday this week because I’m competing Saturday and Sunday in a competition, bro,

Speaker 3 (20:43):


Taylor Self (20:45):

Do you think?

JR Howell (20:47):

I think it’s a really cool idea and I think it’s a really cool spinoff but also keeps the theme of Taylor versus the world. I think keeping that going as long as possible is really cool.

Taylor Self (20:59):

Yeah, it should be pretty fun. Oh sorry. Smacking my gum. Lemme take that out. Lost its flavor anyways, so

JR Howell (21:08):

Who, and did you say this already, that the basic structure of the workout is going to be like a sub five minute workout? They’re all going to be pretty short and

Taylor Self (21:16):

Sweet. They’re going to be like three to seven minutes. Yeah, yeah. Look, semantics. Semantics, all I’m saying is it was fucking stupid because most people didn’t have a chance. This is for the people, this isn’t for Clink and Ben Smith.

JR Howell (21:32):

Shout out Ben Smith, the legend, another individual semi-final regionals qualifying spot. I hope he goes, I hope he goes and competes. It was really cool. I think the first year maybe that they did the programming for all the semi-finals, got to do their own. I want to say that I got to be back there with Jason and just watching Ben move around, warm up and everything was really, really cool. So he’s so experienced that he just does a lot of things that some of the other younger guys did not do and I just thought it was just cool to be around him and watch him.

Taylor Self (22:10):

Apparently I’m also getting some information that majority of the no reps on that first workout from inside Intel review team judge are for soft knees not head and egregious soft knees that you cannot even ignore. And I believe that. I can believe that there’s some shit when you see it. It’s like, damn, I can’t not no rep that. And for that, what’s frustrating is if that’s happening at a big camp and you paid these judges to come out and these judges aren’t calling shit, that’s egregious dude. I would be livid. Livid. I would be freaking livid.

JR Howell (22:47):

Right? Yeah. And I don’t know, I dunno the specifics at all. So I’m kind of hesitant to speak on the judges federation, but do you think there’s any kind of, what’s the right word, pettiness,

Taylor Self (23:07):

Like CrossFit saying

JR Howell (23:09):

Towards that group

Taylor Self (23:10):

Of people CrossFit saying how dare these people who don’t work for H two and aren’t on L one staff? Yeah,

JR Howell (23:15):


Taylor Self (23:15):

A group of professional

JR Howell (23:16):

Judges. If they’re not, I don’t know that they are or not. I’m just trying to, obviously just wearing a tinfoil hat,

Taylor Self (23:23):

Trying to figure out a reason. I do think that CrossFit, damn dude, everybody’s picking apart my hoodie, dude, this thing’s old dude relax. I do think CrossFit in some instances can act like an old boys club where if you’re not in there and you attack or you get too close or you threaten, they can act like a rattlesnake. They fucking start checking strike and bite. So I think that, I mean that could be happening here. I think more than anything, they’re very protective of what they believe in. I could see it frustrating some of the level one staff and some of the judges who’ve been judging at the games on the floor for the individuals for a long time, for this group of people to come in and call themselves professional judges when maybe some of the games team and the L one team feels like these are the judges that are causing issues at competitions by not calling no reps and they’re going to teach ’em a lesson.


I don’t know. I could see that. And this is the other thing I’ll say. I was really freaking out about my step-ups because I just saw everybody getting dinged and I was convinced I was going to get dinged too. I feel like that’s always how I am. I’m pessimistic. If I would’ve gotten dinged, I would’ve learned my lesson the hard way. And I have learned a lot of lessons in my life the hard way and it would’ve really sucked ass to have to learn another one the hard way. But I think a lot of these athletes have never learned a hard lesson and sometimes the only way you learn a lesson is by learning it hard. You got to take it hard. You can’t take it soft and you’re not going to learn it unless it’s swollen and hard.

JR Howell (25:09):

Alright, on that note, let’s get into what the clickbait at this point thumbnail has been insinuating that we’re going to talk about. When you look at these four workouts. Sure. A bunch of people, how much is Dave involved? How much is it just Boz? How much is it collaborative? Boz has gone on several podcasts I think this season and basically said it’s really collaborative and it always has been collaborative, but especially since Dave stepped away and then came back. It’s been even more of a team effort when it comes to programming that Dave has been more heavily involved in some stages and then Baz has been more heavily involved maybe in some other stages. But when you look at the workouts and you know how they paint and you know what colors they like to use and what kind of strokes they like, like to use. Who if you had to guess, would

Taylor Self (26:00):

You say hundred percent

JR Howell (26:01):

Was the primary programmer of quarterfinals?

Taylor Self (26:04):

A hundred percent Boz, I

JR Howell (26:05):

Remember. Why do you say that?

Taylor Self (26:07):

Well, if I remember correctly, B, for the most part program, the 2021 online semifinals and the Last Chance Qualifier, that clean and jerk workout was an exact repeat from 2021. Just a clean and jerk instead of a snatch. And I could very much so see B saying that would be a really good format to test strength. The snatch is a bit too hard to say it’s inclusive for top 25%, but if we turn it into a clean and jerk, it’s perfect. B, also in the past from my understanding, has been heavily, heavily involved in the age group online qualifiers and they historically have a lot of redundant gymnastic workouts like pull, pull type stuff.


Dave, rarely programs like GE, G, G to stuff. So I think that was Dave as well, or sorry boss as well. And more so than anything, when you look at BO’S programming, there is an air, an element of old school when Dave programs things, there is an element of, I’ve never seen that before. I think it’s more so when Dave is programming a workout. To me the general theme is he’s trying to find a format, a rep scheme, a pair of movements or a time domain or some combination of those things that is uncommon or that you haven’t seen before, that you haven’t experienced. Whereas Baz takes things from 20 years ago that used to be the norm or people used to do frequently or that have been talked about at length and he’s like, here you go. And if there’s any workout that screams old school, you should be doing this. Most people aren’t have fun. It’s the second workout. Make it long, but it’s CrossFit. You don’t need mono structural to make it long. And you’ve talked about this and your hundreds chipper and that three rounder screams Adrian Bosman. I mean I can see an element of Dave in it, meaning it’s just kind of a big fuck you. But I don’t know. What do you think?

JR Howell (28:20):

Yeah, I agree with you on a lot of those points. You already touched on it, that format of lifting when you’re fatigued. It’s been done twice before. Once in the online semis, once in the age group sims with both with snatch.

Taylor Self (28:40):

That’s crazy.

JR Howell (28:41):

I’ve got a couple other things though. I dig a little deeper on stuff like this. There was the run the test series after the games, I think in 2022. Stop pulling up comments when I’m trying to explain to you I

Taylor Self (28:56):

Can’t help it. This guy’s attacking my vocabulary and the way I articulate my thoughts, penis, anal sex, and I never said I never would use the R innuendo. Okay, I’m done. What a douche. Shut up Sebastian.

JR Howell (29:12):

I lost my train of thought. Yeah, so he was talking about in the run the test series when the workout up and over at the games and he was talking about how much jumping is a thing that should be tested a lot and you should be able to jump in different ways. You should be able to jump over something using your hands. You should be able to jump over something not using your hands. You should be able to clear something. Also, he talked early on when he took over about athletes tend to only pigeonhole movements and practice them the way they think. They’re going to show up in competition, that lateral burpee box jump over. No one ever practices that. No one. But all it is is just a tiny variation of a movement that everyone does every week, which is.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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