Saturday Night Live Call In

Mattew Souza (00:01):

Oh no.

Sevan Matossian (00:02):

In five years. Hey, bam. We’re live. Stiffening my chair.

Mattew Souza (00:10):


Sevan Matossian (00:12):

Stiffening great time today. That was awesome. One of your gym.

Mattew Souza (00:16):

Yeah. Thanks for coming out. Nice to have you.

Sevan Matossian (00:20):

What a showing.

Mattew Souza (00:22):

Yeah, it was cool

Sevan Matossian (00:23):

On a crazy rainy day.

Mattew Souza (00:26):

Yeah. Yeah. They show up, rain or shine, offer ’em a hangout and a workout and they’ll be there.

Sevan Matossian (00:32):

Oh, shitloads of kids.

Mattew Souza (00:33):

Yeah. We try to make all the events like that. I want people to be from the gym to be able to come free restriction. Worried about like, Hey, can my kids come? My husband hasn’t worked out in a month. Whatever the case may be. It’s like, yeah, bringing everybody in.

Sevan Matossian (00:47):

As I was coming to start the podcast, I heard one of my kids say to my other kid, Hey, I think polar bearers are going extinct. They’re endangered. My other kid’s like, yeah. And I’m like, nah, nah, no, no. Actually that story’s over. They’re like, really? I’m like, yeah, 30 year high records. 30 year, year high. Do you remember that when they were saying the ice caps were melting and polar bears were going extinct and they were losing. Now we’re at a 30 year high.

Mattew Souza (01:13):

Yeah. Well, you remember they did it with that campaign where there was just the one polar bear on the iceberg just floating out by itself.

Sevan Matossian (01:21):


Mattew Souza (01:22):

Why do I sound self complete?

Sevan Matossian (01:24):

And some of the people are saying that it’s not because, and we’ve talked about this on the show, but not in a long time. But they’re saying it’s because they change the hunting requirements. You can’t hunt them, basically. But I wonder, I mean, it’s crazy how many more there are now than 30 years ago. Dane, what’s up dude? Dane Lucero. It’s almost bedtime. And they started a podcast six 30 for us.

Mattew Souza (01:48):


Sevan Matossian (01:49):

Nothing long. Just a little catching up to do John Zinc’s coming on in the morning.

Mattew Souza (01:56):

Yeah, that’ll be awesome.

Sevan Matossian (01:59):

Paper street coffee. Oh, today’s not good Friday. No, black Friday.

Mattew Souza (02:05):


Sevan Matossian (02:06):

Is good Friday and Black Friday. Black Friday is like a,

Mattew Souza (02:10):

Yeah, it’s a good thing.

Sevan Matossian (02:11):

A commercial thing. Good Friday is like a religious thing. Yeah.

Mattew Souza (02:14):

There you go.

Sevan Matossian (02:15):

Why do I keep thinking today’s Black Friday?

Mattew Souza (02:18):

I don’t know.

Sevan Matossian (02:21):

Hey, is that thing that’s in our chat? Is that real? That Black Friday ad? I look for it. I couldn’t find it. Was that a joke?

Mattew Souza (02:29):

I don’t know. That place is wild, man. That the chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lot’s coming in there.

Sevan Matossian (02:39):

Hey, did you expect that many people,

Mattew Souza (02:43):

It’s always the same thing. Did

Sevan Matossian (02:44):

You change the thruster to plates or did you know that you were going to do plates?

Mattew Souza (02:46):

No, I did it that way on purpose. Yeah. I did it that way on purpose because anybody walking in the gym could pick up a 10 pound plate and kind fumble around and figure out those movements. And if we included a barbell there, all of a sudden we lose a lot of space. Although everybody did this weird thing in the room, which we’ve never done before, where everybody lined up around the perimeter of the room to work out.

Sevan Matossian (03:09):


Mattew Souza (03:09):

That’s never happened. That’s why I was joking. I was like, I told Albert when I walked by, I was like, did you tell everybody to just get around this a middle school dance and go around there? And he’s like, no.

Sevan Matossian (03:18):

It was pretty cool. That just happened naturally.

Mattew Souza (03:21):

Completely organically. Yep.

Sevan Matossian (03:24):

I mean, there were over a hundred people there working out, so it was more like a, but I get what you’re saying. Yeah. Well

Mattew Souza (03:29):

That stripped down the center. Yeah, because usually we line everybody. Someone

Sevan Matossian (03:31):

Needed to dance castles on their titties.

Mattew Souza (03:37):

Yeah, but I’d never know if 40 people are showing up to that thing or a hundred people. It’s always hard to tell, but we had a great turnout.

Sevan Matossian (03:45):

What’s up, Tom? How you doing, buddy? How you doing? You broke my Hyman. I know you broke it. Fine. Sema. Hey, so glad you could make it for the Jim’s anniversary of shame. You weren’t available for his wedding. Remember

Mattew Souza (04:00):

The conversation we were having earlier?

Sevan Matossian (04:02):

A why? Why

Mattew Souza (04:05):

Something stick.

Sevan Matossian (04:07):

Why do I have a,

Mattew Souza (04:17):


Mattew Souza (04:18):

Crickets are piercing. Are you riding on your road caster?

Sevan Matossian (04:24):


Mattew Souza (04:26):

That’s actually a great idea.

Sevan Matossian (04:28):

Oh, with pencil? I wish I had pen. What would you call that?

Mattew Souza (04:33):


Sevan Matossian (04:35):

Okay. And this is a drum joke, joke, joke.

Mattew Souza (04:41):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s the

Sevan Matossian (04:43):

Joke drum.

Mattew Souza (04:45):

It sounds really loud for some reason. His mind sound that loud.

Sevan Matossian (04:48):

No. Lemme see. Better.

Mattew Souza (04:50):

Yeah, that was better.

Mattew Souza (04:53):


Sevan Matossian (04:55):

That cricket was close. I think it’s like in your bedroom.

Mattew Souza (04:58):

Yeah. You get out of bed and check around for that one.

Sevan Matossian (05:03):

Yeah. You ever do that? You ever gotten up in the middle of the night? Or Right when you go to bed and you hear a cricket and you go and you find him and he is like by your front door and you’re like, aha. I see outside.

Mattew Souza (05:12):

No, I’ve never lived city. Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (05:16):

City folk.

Mattew Souza (05:17):

We got roaches though. You get up, you get a roach run across your face.

Sevan Matossian (05:21):

Why is it called Black Friday? Anyway,

Mattew Souza (05:24):

You want me to answer that?

Sevan Matossian (05:26):

Do you know why? Yeah, boy, I had a really nasty racist joke lined up.

Mattew Souza (05:31):

I figured. So here I am to say,

Sevan Matossian (05:35):

Ah, thank you.

Mattew Souza (05:38):

It’s because majority of the business happens for a lot of these big retail things right at the end. So they go from in the red negative to in the black positive making profit.

Sevan Matossian (05:48):

Oh, so black’s a positive thing. Yeah. It’s not like in the Western where black’s a negative thing. How come blacks get that? How come that can’t be being in the white

Mattew Souza (05:59):

White? I don’t know. That’s a great question.

Sevan Matossian (06:03):

My company’s in the white. What’s that? Well, it used to be the black.

Mattew Souza (06:09):

Yeah. Might not go over well in some locations.

Sevan Matossian (06:13):

You could choose. You can choose. My company’s in the green. The green would be good.

Mattew Souza (06:17):

The green sounds better. Makes more sense too. I’d say.

Sevan Matossian (06:21):

Oh, I didn’t send you the notes.

Mattew Souza (06:25):

Yeah, green would be,

Sevan Matossian (06:28):

So there’s a sale going on for paper Street Tea and coffee on Black Friday, which is November. That’s the Friday after Thanksgiving. Yep.

Mattew Souza (06:44):

It’s a really good

Sevan Matossian (06:46):

November 24th.

Mattew Souza (06:47):

It’s a great day. It’s a great day.

Sevan Matossian (06:53):

Alright. If you know someone who wants tea for Christmas, you can buy them some and G will send you so much. You get some for yourself.

Mattew Souza (07:05):

Wait, Barry, is this true?

Sevan Matossian (07:10):

My birthday?

Mattew Souza (07:11):

I share the same birthday with my Cocker.

Sevan Matossian (07:13):

Oh, so your birthday’s in Thanksgiving

Mattew Souza (07:17):

Day after. Yep. Every four years.

Sevan Matossian (07:20):

Oh yeah. That I guess you figured that out, right? And you’re going to Grace’s house, parents’ house.

Mattew Souza (07:24):

Yeah. Well, no, two. We do, it’s split. We go both houses. Hers first on Tuesday night, and then my side of the family on Well,

Sevan Matossian (07:33):

Your stomach just being fucking distended and hurting.

Mattew Souza (07:36):

I used to, when we first started dating, I used to go to two, back to back.

Sevan Matossian (07:41):

Oh, they’re not on the same night. Well,

Mattew Souza (07:44):

They used to be because when my grandpa would come out from San Leandro, we’d have to eat at fucking two. It’d be like Thanksgiving dinner at two or one 30 so we could get home before it got too dark. And then afterwards I would go over to Grace’s in the evening time and have Thanksgiving dinner again. It wasn’t well, and you got to eat a lot of both. You don’t want salt buddy.

Sevan Matossian (08:06):

By the way, I want to thank everyone in the chat for all the flowers you sent to CrossFit Livermore today for the 10th anniversary. That was really impressive. I mean, well, the one bouquet of flowers California peptide sent. That’s what I meant.

Mattew Souza (08:21):

That was amazing.

Sevan Matossian (08:22):

Amazing. Don’t worry. She sent one so nice.

Mattew Souza (08:27):

Pedro sent me a gift, actually. Really? Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (08:31):


Mattew Souza (08:33):

I mean, knew he

Sevan Matossian (08:34):

On time.

Mattew Souza (08:35):

He’s a real thoughtful guy. Yeah, I got it. Really?

Sevan Matossian (08:39):

He is thoughtful.

Mattew Souza (08:40):

Yeah, he is. Is.

Sevan Matossian (08:46):

I saw this just a few minutes ago. I thought, wow, this is a perfect way to start the show.

Speaker 4 (08:55):

If you’re not a veteran and you want to thank one, well, there’s two ways. Yes. You can say, shake their hand. Thank you for your service. You can say that to ’em. Yes, we appreciate it. But if you really want to help, you really want to celebrate ’em, huh? Feed and fuck a veteran. They love that stuff. They love snacks and they love sexy time. So why don’t you give them some, literally

Sevan Matossian (09:15):

Sounds like something Gary Roberts would say, right?

Mattew Souza (09:18):

Yeah. Snacks and sex

Speaker 4 (09:20):

Feed and fuck a veteran and not in that order. You could do it at the same time. I don’t think nobody’s mad at snacks and ass. Anybody got a problem with that? Who wouldn’t want to eat their favorite snack and get some at the same time? Put your hands up. Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Sevan Matossian (09:39):

Have you ever seen this guy’s account? No.

Mattew Souza (09:41):

I’ve never seen that. Dude. Thank you for your service.

Sevan Matossian (09:46):

He’s really making the rounds right now. Look at this one. Look at this one

Speaker 4 (09:51):

On the next episode of being impressed by Unimpressive shit. The airlines has an all black flight crew. Give me a follow on the next step.

Sevan Matossian (10:11):

What’s a Malo?

Mattew Souza (10:12):

Give me a follow. I think he said give me a follow. Oh,

Sevan Matossian (10:14):

Oh oh oh.

Mattew Souza (10:15):

Follow his Instagram. That’s kind of funny.

Sevan Matossian (10:27):

Hey, that’s what I thought he was going to say, Bruce. I thought he was going to say, show him some titties. That is exactly what I thought. Seon, can you say black in Spanish? Ro Negro Negra. Gra. Is there masculine and feminine?

Mattew Souza (10:44):

Yes, I do believe so.

Sevan Matossian (10:49):

Elga Negro female cat.

Mattew Souza (10:52):

Your pronunciation is great.

Sevan Matossian (10:54):

Elto is Negra. Negra

Mattew Souza (10:57):

Female cat.

Sevan Matossian (10:58):

Avon. Are you using that slang again? No ma’am. No, mama. I am not using slang. So this is the whole point of this podcast today and then I’m leaving.

Mattew Souza (11:19):


Sevan Matossian (11:20):

That’s not true. That’s not the funny. So on the cross, the games update show, we had pulled up the guy, I don’t know if he’s still the editor, but the former editor of the morning and we went to go look at his Instagram account and we couldn’t tell for sure if it was him, but I think it was him now, because I’m hearing rumblings that he got upset. Remember we were making fun of him because in his profile picture, he is wearing a mask.

Mattew Souza (11:44):

Yeah. I mean, it was kind of a funny profile picture. We could all agree that it kind of

Sevan Matossian (11:50):

Absurd. I’ll stand by the fact that you’re a douche. If you have a mask in your profile pick, it’s like that CrossFit that’s attached to a McDonald’s or how about this? How about this?

Mattew Souza (12:02):

Wait, but that CrossFit attached to McDonald’s was an actual real thing. I’m sorry, dude.

Sevan Matossian (12:07):

It’s an actual thing. How about this? How about this? Sorry. Sorry. I’ll get back to the morning Joe thing in a second. Look at this shit guys. This is a CrossFit gym in fucking Chicago. It says, thank you for the Rx only for our 2023 wellness day. She provides vaccines for covid fluid, other boosters members needed. And then the owner of the gym said, stay boosted.

Mattew Souza (12:35):

I thought that was a joke. Comment.

Sevan Matossian (12:39):

Holy shit.

Mattew Souza (12:42):

Wait. This is a fake shot for the gram. Don’t want people to think I don’t pay attention when I’m giving shots. Oh wait, I thought he faked that whole thing and now I realized he just faked the photo, but actually still got the shot.

Sevan Matossian (12:59):

What’s crazy? I don’t want to be one of those wing. I saw a lady at a cafe a couple of years ago. Someone said Trump at the table next to her and she stood up and flipped out. If someone says, Biden, I don’t flip out. Everything has to be in context. You know what I mean? If you send your kid away to school and they come back asking you to use their pronouns. Yeah, I understand. Flip out. It’s your kid. It’s context. You’re bummed. Not that your kid has pronouns, but that your kid has the mind virus, right?

Mattew Souza (13:29):

You’re like,

Sevan Matossian (13:29):

Oh shit, this fucking kid’s lost his way. And so I don’t mind if they’re giving away. You’re bringing in the booster lady at Apple or Facebook or Instagram or Universal Studios. I get it. I get it. Two tons of fun. Straight thousands of fat motherfuckers like straight McDonald’s headquarters. Bring the boosters in. Morons. People whose brains are just fucked from the food they’ve been eating. But this is a CrossFit gym. It’s truly unbelievable to me. But here’s what’s crazy, dude. Homeboy has a septum ring, dude. It’s the strongest correlate for Tarded. Look at that.

Mattew Souza (14:20):

Oh my gosh. It’s funny. I always want to think that you’re wrong about it, but I think we found more evidence. You’re correct than,

Sevan Matossian (14:27):

Hey, dude, here’s the thing.

Mattew Souza (14:31):

I heard somebody,

Sevan Matossian (14:32):

I know it sucks because so many of you, my friends, you had your babies in the hospital and you gave your kids pacifiers and you got the injection and you have some piercings and you have tattoos. But all of those things are different forms, different levels of being reactionary to a thought you have and people who have space in between. Being able to observe a thought and then acting on it or not acting on it are the coolest, wisest people you’ll ever know in your life. And everyone else is just a fly that buzzes from one pie is That’s what tattoos are. That’s what, sorry. Sorry. That’s what having your baby in the hospital is. That’s what putting a pacifier in your kid’s mouth is. That’s what wearing a mask is. I’m not mad at anyone. I’d do some retarded shit. Let tell you, you should see the shit I do on autopilot. I be picking my notes for 15 minutes and all of a sudden look over in the car next to me. Someone’s staring at me.

Mattew Souza (15:31):

Do you keep going? My

Sevan Matossian (15:32):

Boogers on my arm. I mean, I got weird habits

Mattew Souza (15:36):

On your arm.

Sevan Matossian (15:37):

Yeah. If I get a booger and then I’ll roll it out on my arm. Shit with the door open. My wife the other day claimed my wife the other day. Was I on the phone with you? My wife the other day? You heard that?

Mattew Souza (15:50):


Sevan Matossian (15:51):

Or was that this morning? My wife, while I was on the phone with Susan, my wife’s yelling at me saying that claiming I didn’t flush the toilet. I left a deuce in there. But dude, I mean, you’re a fucking role model at a fucking personal, the personal accountability responsibility place of the highest order and you’re injecting poison into you. Come on brother. Come on. Archetype. CrossFit. Come on buddy. You did it all. I know you got the BLM and the LGBQ and the Ukrainian flag and you got I know. I don’t even have to look. Come on brother.

Mattew Souza (16:32):

Part of the do

Sevan Matossian (16:32):

Get. Come on. You got the septum ring. Don’t get the shot too in front. Don’t bring the fucking poison lady. Where have you been that you don’t realize that that thing’s not working. You’ve forever altered your immune system, brother. No, no one’s denying that anymore. Oh fuck.

Mattew Souza (16:52):

It’s pretty late in the game to have this photo up. Fuck. Don’t think you’re doing it

Sevan Matossian (16:57):

Boosted. I’ve never even seen that. And all the internet, I’ve seen people get the vaccine, but no one’s getting boosted. Even dude boosted,

Mattew Souza (17:07):

Oh shit, you’re

Sevan Matossian (17:08):

An adult. You’re an adult and you have a septum ring. Sadie.

Mattew Souza (17:18):

Oh my God.

Sevan Matossian (17:25):

Hey, if that doesn’t make this the best podcast on planet Earth, I don’t know what does Fuck everyone else. Dude.

Mattew Souza (17:36):


Sevan Matossian (17:36):

I was like, damn, we got a new listener.

Mattew Souza (17:39):

Did you read the name out? I

Sevan Matossian (17:41):

Looked at her postcard or postcard. I looked at her profile pick like, damn, we got a new listener. I hadn’t seen her before.

Mattew Souza (17:46):

That’s a good joke too.

Sevan Matossian (17:49):

If I seem a little off tonight, people. I had six Advil PM only six.

Mattew Souza (17:58):


Sevan Matossian (17:58):

Goodness. Thank God for Chase Ingram. A few months back, he told me to roll. I’d never rolled out before and he told me to roll out my thigh or my hip when my hip was all fucked up. I was

Mattew Souza (18:09):

Going to do that to you when you were at the gym, your were, I almost was going to say, Hey, lay down. I’m going to try something. But I was like the back of my head. I was like, if I do this and it somehow gets worse, and then you have this drive right now, you’re going to hate me. So I just didn’t say anything. I

Sevan Matossian (18:23):

Just got on a tennis ball and rolled around on it before the show. I’m really nervous about tomorrow morning show if I can’t get out of bed.

Mattew Souza (18:31):

Oh fuck. That’s that bad

Sevan Matossian (18:34):

Dude. I was going to put on a show for fucking pool boy too. That sucks.

Mattew Souza (18:39):

Yeah, I was going to kill it. I kind of saw you got lost in the current because you came in and you’re like, Hey, the drive, my back’s not doing well. I’m going to participate, but I’m just, and then I see pool and

Sevan Matossian (18:50):

Warm Good. But in the warmup I knew, I knew. I was like, oh, it’s still too tight.

Mattew Souza (18:55):

And there’s video of that happening. Actually, there was just a pan shot and everybody’s doing the Cobra stretch and I watch you go to do it, then instantly go

Sevan Matossian (19:04):

Right back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mattew Souza (19:06):

And I was like, oh no, that was that early. And you were like, I told

Sevan Matossian (19:10):

Pool boy. I go, Ooh, my back. Don’t like that.

Mattew Souza (19:13):

You could see it. You come up and then you just drop right back down like, nope.

Sevan Matossian (19:17):

And I was showing off because the burpees were my bread and butter and I saw everyone else stepping up. I’m like, I’m not stepping up. Hey,

Mattew Souza (19:23):

You guys were the first ones out for the run.

Sevan Matossian (19:27):


Mattew Souza (19:28):

Round one. A

Sevan Matossian (19:29):

Workout. We were leading for two minutes.

Mattew Souza (19:31):

Got that camera time.

Sevan Matossian (19:33):

I really like Bull Boy.

Mattew Souza (19:35):

Yeah, he’s good, right?

Sevan Matossian (19:37):

I felt warmth from him. Yeah, A lot of warmth. Sadie n-word. Days later after the shot, he tested positive. What’s crazy too is as you start scratching the surface and you start learning about these injections, basically it’s how a lot of diseases are spreading now too. It’s called shedding. So people get the shot and then they get, when their body’s fighting it off, they start shedding the infection and then other people get it. And then that’s what causes the little spreader events. That’s the thing with the one that starts with AP. That’s the only way that one gets out now is from the injection.

Mattew Souza (20:16):


Sevan Matossian (20:17):

Sadie N word.

Mattew Souza (20:19):

Hey. But isn’t it just kind of in cycles? Not that long ago, we were just taking the old rusty saw and being like, oh, you got a flesh wound here.

Sevan Matossian (20:26):

Yeah, right,

Mattew Souza (20:27):

Right. The anesthetics was just a fricking spoon. They stuck in your mouth. That’s where this came from. And back then we would’ve been like, Hey, maybe they should rinse that thing off at least. And they’d be like, oh, well, that’s misinformation. You’re not a doctor. These guys know what they’re doing. So to think that we’ve already become that far away from similar things, but in a different context is it’s crazy.

Sevan Matossian (20:52):

It is crazy. 2023, you think we were going to have flying cars? We ain’t got shit.

Mattew Souza (20:58):

Yeah, this ain’t the Jetsons. It’s not a close.

Sevan Matossian (21:02):

Don’t sleep with vax oss. They tainted meat. Oh,

Mattew Souza (21:06):


Sevan Matossian (21:12):

I stunk. I know. I stunk, bro. You put on a show with those barbell cartel joggers and Long Johns, you also smelled amazing. Yeah. As soon as I got there, I was like, sorry.

Mattew Souza (21:31):

It’s a mission getting out there, isn’t it?

Sevan Matossian (21:34):

Yeah. But once I got over the 17, it was beautiful.

Mattew Souza (21:38):

Nice. Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (21:38):

Absolutely beautiful. Yeah. Like an old person. I read dissolving illusions just before my baby came. Awesome. Read to understand the history of diseases of disease. Yeah. Smart man, man. Oh, Seema, you’re on the war path tonight, huh?

Mattew Souza (21:59):

Saturday night.

Sevan Matossian (22:00):

Do you see a Pringles can in there? Pool? Boy, what were you seeing? In my joggers? You saw the striations in my hamstrings. So the guy from, oh

Mattew Souza (22:17):

Yeah. Morning Chalkup.

Sevan Matossian (22:18):

Morning. I guess we were cracking jokes at him, and I guess


Someone on the show said, Hey, he doesn’t have a girlfriend. If he has a girlfriend, it’s a tranny. I guess that pissed that dude off. And now he’s pissed because Taylor said a couple things I want to say I met that dude at the games for the first time. I talked to him on the phone once before and he was nice enough, and then I met him at the games and just in passing, you know what I mean? Everyone’s running around. And then I met him again at the games and he introduced me to his girlfriend. I can tell you his girlfriend’s hot and she’s not a tranny, but I did think for a split second that she was a beard.

Mattew Souza (23:06):

A beard?

Sevan Matossian (23:07):

A beard, A coverup.

Mattew Souza (23:09):

Oh, okay, okay. I wasn’t familiar with

Sevan Matossian (23:12):

That. Split second. I like,

Mattew Souza (23:14):

I got you now.

Sevan Matossian (23:14):

I thought homeboy’s not straight, but his girlfriend’s hot. But also, Joe, if you’re listening or if it gets back to you, don’t be offended. You come from the group of people that thinks it’s okay to mutilate the genitalia of young kids and turn them into the opposite sex. So if someone did say you were probably dating a tranny, you should take that as a compliment in your group. That’s like a good thing. So don’t get all bent about. Take that as a compliment,

Mattew Souza (23:46):

A status point, if you will. Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (23:48):


Mattew Souza (23:48):

The peers. Totally Little status. Little clap. The

Sevan Matossian (23:51):

Takeaway is don’t be offended if it was said, your girlfriend and your girlfriend’s hot as shit and congratulations. It’s fun having being with an attractive girl

Mattew Souza (24:03):

Who’s not a tranny.

Sevan Matossian (24:05):

I can’t imagine me and Joe look more like tranny than his girlfriend. If anything, they should accuse Joe of that.

Mattew Souza (24:13):

I thought it was centered around his profile picture, which everybody gets a little criticism for their profile pictures.

Sevan Matossian (24:21):

Come on. That mask is a mess. That mask is on so tight too. It’s like a real mask.

Mattew Souza (24:26):

And it’s coupled with the box squat with the kettlebell. So it’s like

Sevan Matossian (24:33):

The trip. That’s

Mattew Souza (24:34):

A killer combo right there. Which by the way, it’s a good exercise, but just it would be

Sevan Matossian (24:38):

Cool if he was a comedian. It would be a funny picture

Mattew Souza (24:41):

If it was done with sarcasm,

Sevan Matossian (24:43):

But not from an elite periodical. Periodical. Is that what they’re called? Yeah.

Mattew Souza (24:50):

Back to your Spanish

Sevan Matossian (24:52):

Periodical. Periodical. Periodical, periodical. That of the such high esteem and caliber. I wonder if they’re going to change the name from morning chalk to something.

Mattew Souza (25:06):

I wonder if it’d just get absorbed and it’s just all will be barbed. Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (25:11):


Mattew Souza (25:15):

I dunno. Send Craig Richie a link.

Sevan Matossian (25:23):

Okay. So that wound is healed, right? If Joe’s pissed, he’s all better now.

Mattew Souza (25:28):

He should be. I think you didn’t tax a girlfriend. We’re good. Sorry about that.

Sevan Matossian (25:35):

Yeah, your chick’s hot. That’s the only thing you should care

Mattew Souza (25:37):

About. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (25:39):

Who caress. If you look like a tranny, like I said, it’s a compliment. Or if anyone thinks you’re dating a tranny in your group, the fact that if you’re offended by the fact that someone thinks you’re dating a tranny, then that’s offensive to the tranny. Right? That’s the reason why you can’t call someone gay. I can’t be like, dude, that guy’s a faggot or that dude’s gay, or that music’s gay. You can’t say in derogatory way because then people think that you’re insinuating that gay is bad. So if you’re upset that someone thinks your bitch looks like a tranny, well then you’re insinuating being a tranny is bad

Mattew Souza (26:11):

And that mass says different.

Sevan Matossian (26:13):

I’m thinking clearly, right?

Mattew Souza (26:14):

Yeah. Well, the thing is too is like Taylor said it, right? But I think

Sevan Matossian (26:20):

It was

Mattew Souza (26:20):

Taylor. I think he was like, and I think it was in a total joking sense. I don’t think Taylor met him, knew he had a girlfriend or anything. I think he saw the mass, the profile picture and packaged it all together as it usually is, and just made that joke as a joke. I don’t think he meant anything bad

Sevan Matossian (26:40):

Other than

Mattew Souza (26:42):

He’s a Democrat.

Sevan Matossian (26:48):

In all fairness, this probably isn’t going to go over so well, but nah, I probably shouldn’t. I’m not ready. I just would never in a million. I can’t see myself in a million bazillion years. Dating and tranny. Basically, if you’re dating a tranny, you’re gay,

Mattew Souza (27:09):

Right? Yeah, of course. Right? Yeah. I mean, once you go to do the deeded,

Sevan Matossian (27:18):

Like sitting in the lotus position, no, you’re sitting on the floor. That’s different. But it’s funny. Speaking of gay, this is incredible. We know what’s cool is I’m about to bring up a clip and then I saw Will Branstetter made a comment out of the corner of my eye, but I didn’t read it. But then I know that I have two minutes of show

Mattew Souza (27:48):

With will.

Sevan Matossian (27:49):

I just know that after this, I got the next bit already lined up. Whatever Will says, I’m going to go over there and read it. It’s going to be good, but I don’t even have to read it now, but it gives me a little cushion. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Know when you’re interviewing someone and they’re talking, you’re like, yeah, I get a second.

Mattew Souza (28:01):

Yeah. Yeah. Every time it’s Will comments comes

Sevan Matossian (28:04):

Through, will comment, and I’m like, I don’t even have to worry about what I’m going to say now.

Mattew Souza (28:08):

This next segment is about to by Will’s comment.

Sevan Matossian (28:10):

Yeah. Okay, here we

Speaker 5 (28:11):

Go. The break. We’re going to interview Eric Wyan, mayor, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he’s gay. I mean, he’s gay. Excuse me, he’s blind. We’ll hear about that coming out. Okay. As we

Sevan Matossian (28:24):

Head to the break, I’ll look at the,

Mattew Souza (28:25):

Are you

Sevan Matossian (28:26):

Fucking kidding me?

Mattew Souza (28:31):

That’s an intrusive thought. It’s like don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it said it.

Sevan Matossian (28:35):

Is that what that phenomenon is?

Mattew Souza (28:38):

I don’t know. Hey,

Sevan Matossian (28:40):

Say the N word. What do you think?

Mattew Souza (28:42):

You know what that tells me? That somewhere that seed is planted in her head. So off camera in the green room where they’re making a joke, practicing the line, and the amazing thing about it is, and then you just fill it with something funny. And then they rehearsed the joke and it got stuck in her head, and then she came out on live tv. TV and it slipped.

Sevan Matossian (29:01):


Mattew Souza (29:02):

Shit. I don’t know. I mean, I just completely s

Speaker 5 (29:06):

After the break, we’re going to interview Eric Wyan mayor, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he’s gay. I mean, he’s gay. Excuse me, he’s blind.

Sevan Matossian (29:16):

I like how she said it twice. He didn’t even when she took a second shot at it, she just says, yeah, he’s gay, he’s blind.

Speaker 5 (29:27):

So we’ll hear about that coming out. Okay. As we head to the break, a look at the six o’clock after the break, we’re going to interview Eric Wy, mayor, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest. But he’s gay. I mean, he’s gay. Excuse me, he’s blind. So we’ll hear about that

Mattew Souza (29:43):

Coming up. Okay. As we head to the break. A look at the six o’clock after the break,

Sevan Matossian (29:46):

Dude, her heart must’ve been beaten out of her

Mattew Souza (29:49):

Chest. Yeah. But it also tells you they’re professional bullshitters, both of their poker face and that to completely not react to it and then happen. I mean, so that’s got to be high on.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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