Sevan Matossian (00:00):
Oh, awesome. Perfect. Bam. We’re live. Hey, good morning. Here we go. Big day. Big day Rambler. Good morning. Always first.
Mattew Souza (00:08):
Rambler is always first.
Sevan Matossian (00:10):
Uh, SEMA pussy. Wow. Uh, wow. Uh, that’s, um, is that Indian? Hindu? Uh, no. No. Trish. No. No. Trish, don’t ruin the illusion. There. You’re, oh, you’re in big trouble, Trish, today. You’re in big trouble. Trish. Pour yourself a shot of whiskey this morning. Ain’t fucking around. You have exclusive, exclusive, uh, Trish Content exclusive. Look closely at that face. <laugh>. Uh, Josh, Josh Petit. I don’t want this, but I hope it’s Hailey. I don’t, you know, someone asked me yesterday if it was, who did they ask me? I can’t remember, but someone said, is it so-and-so? I’m like, fuck. I have no idea. So Jake Chapman, it’s Mal, she’s retiring from competition to become a CrossFit forum Chat star. Can’t blame her. It is a, um, oh, see, I was talking to my mom. It is a, uh, a phenomenon. The the Trish thing is like a, the, this show is so lucky to have Trish. Other people too. I told, I was talking to my mom about it yesterday while I was watching Aby play soccer. And she’s like, what All? She’s like all those people. She, and you know what she said? You know who my mom’s favorite is?
Mattew Souza (01:36):
Me. No, I’m just
Sevan Matossian (01:37):
Kidding. Dick Butter. What? I go, mom. My mom’s very classy lady. I’m like, mom, that is so gross. She’s like, well, I don’t think about what it means. She’s like, I just like the words next to each other. Dick butter. I’m like, alright. Probably wasn’t supposed to share that. <laugh>. Um, uh, did you guys have to know, like, like you’re not allowed to say words, certain words in front of mom. Like, you’re not allowed to say, I’m pissed off. My mom doesn’t like that word. Pissed. Very classy lady. You have to, like, if you know, you park the car, you gotta get out and open her door. Shit like that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, did Savon take notes from Hiller on clickbait? Oh, oh, oh, please, please, please. Uh, uh, Robert Myers, uh, pro, pro protect, pro prophylactic Trish at all costs.
Mattew Souza (02:21):
Sevan Matossian (02:23):
Were you pretty impressed with the footage?
Mattew Souza (02:26):
With what? I don’t think I said Oh. Oh, the Trish footage.
Sevan Matossian (02:28):
Mattew Souza (02:29):
Sevan Matossian (02:31):
Yeah. That’s John Young. That’s John Young. Got that. Yeah.
Mattew Souza (02:34):
He’s just getting better and better as time goes on, isn’t
Sevan Matossian (02:37):
He? Yeah. John Young admitted that
Mattew Souza (02:39):
John Young’s a valuable player.
Sevan Matossian (02:40):
Trish as in ai. Yeah. Right. When Not after I show you what we got
Mattew Souza (02:46):
<laugh>. We know now. It’s been, it’s the mystery will be over guys, don’t you worry.
Sevan Matossian (02:50):
Looks like Craig Howard as a little kid. You know, it’s funny, anytime I see someone with a red shirt, doesn’t that, not, not the face, but like, when I close it and you just look at the picture, doesn’t it look like Craig Howard kind of mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I don’t know. Like the flat bill. The red shirt.
Mattew Souza (03:03):
It’s, yeah, it’s the hat. The red shirt comm. I wonder
Sevan Matossian (03:05):
If Craig’s favorite color is red. God, these glasses make me look like a Jew, doesn’t it? It makes my nose look like it’s a, it’s a, it’s a prank nose.
Mattew Souza (03:15):
I feel like you got richer, that’s for sure.
Sevan Matossian (03:17):
With these glasses.
Mattew Souza (03:18):
Sevan Matossian (03:19):
My mom corrects me today. You’re very mad. I’m like, damn. I’m 33. Mad as fuck. Years old. Mad as fuck. I’m 33. Mad as fuck. Years old ma male female. I’m 33 male female. <laugh>
Mattew Souza (03:34):
33 motherfucking years old.
Sevan Matossian (03:36):
Oh. Oh, that one. Okay. <laugh> Emma. Wines beans. I don’t mind pissed off, but I hate when someone has to have to take a piss. Oh, oh, oh. You look so rocky. It’s Craig Richie. Oh, that would be cool. Hey, if, if I found out that Trish was Craig Richie, um,
Mattew Souza (03:58):
You’d have a new best friend.
Sevan Matossian (04:00):
Oh my God.
Mattew Souza (04:01):
Sevan Matossian (04:03):
I have to fucking fly out to England and do his dishes for a week or some
Mattew Souza (04:07):
Sevan Matossian (04:11):
If you wanna have a baby, you wanna be surrounded by good people with knowledge. Birth fits your place. If you’re thinking about having a baby, if you’ve already had a baby, if you wanna get jacked on coffee, go to Paper Street Coffee, use the code word sev on you get some sort of discount on shipping. It’s the only thing I drink. Oh, that’s not true. It’s the only thing I drink at home. That’s not true either. I mostly drink. I mostly drink. It’s the only thing in my grinder. It’s the only thing in my coffee grinder. How’s that? It’s the only beans I have.
Mattew Souza (04:46):
Sevan Matossian (04:47):
Go. I drink it 99% of the mornings. Unless the coffee, sometimes the coffee, coffee machine needs to be descaled. Whatever the fuck that means.
Mattew Souza (04:55):
Sevan Matossian (04:56):
Have to. And then I have to drink some the strong coffee.
Mattew Souza (05:00):
I just went through a descaling myself.
Sevan Matossian (05:04):
Uh, Judy Reed, uh, um, oh, in panic mode setting the fire alarm. Judy Reed, please don’t do this, please. Cavon. It’ll be similar to when our kids found out there was no Easter Bunny, Santa Tooth Fairy. Oh, I think you guys are gonna be very
Mattew Souza (05:17):
Happy tripping right now. Exclusive
Sevan Matossian (05:20):
Trish content. John Young. I didn’t do it. John Young did it.
Mattew Souza (05:25):
Trish is tripping. She’s wondering. I ha
Sevan Matossian (05:27):
I have quick coffee. I have quick coffee. I do quit coffee. I haven’t quit it in a while, but, um, I do quit coffee one time. I quit it for like a year. I like to quit it for a month. My wife just quit it, like for six months. I think she might be back on it
Mattew Souza (05:43):
Just to quit it.
Sevan Matossian (05:45):
Yeah. Just to, just to get away from that caffeine. And, and when I say coffee, by the way, I’m lumping up all caffeine. Like, I don’t just quit. Like I’m not quitting. I would never quit coffee and then like, take fucking, uh, what, uh, uh, uh, what’s that stuff you drink before you work out? What’s that called? Pre-workout. Pre-workout. Yeah. I don’t drink coffee, but I have two scoops of pre-workout
Mattew Souza (06:07):
Sevan Matossian (06:09):
Stupid. Yeah. John Young did it. Uh, we’re coming. Oh, here we go. What’s this? Uh, we’re coming out with a product, uh, to compete with strong coffee. Oh, good. Yeah. Cuz that, to be honest with you, those strong coffee packets, I don’t know how good they are for you, but the little paper ones where you rip and you pour it in there, those are fucking good. That shit’s legit. Uh, and finally I got my needles from Paper Street Coffee, uh, paper. I got my needles from, uh, California hormones. And I got my, and I got peptides. So I, I have, I have, I have, there’s one needle that you use to take the water out and then squirt it into the vial where the peptides are. And then, then you mix it up, you roll it, you don’t shake it according to Andrew Hiller. Mm. And then I’m gonna grab this muscle that’s hurt and I’m gonna inject the peptides into it.
Mattew Souza (06:57):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you gonna be cool with that? You could just stick yourself with the needle.
Sevan Matossian (07:01):
I think so.
Mattew Souza (07:03):
Oh, I thought so too.
Sevan Matossian (07:05):
Oh, oh, oh, I see. I see. Yeah, I’m still fasting, but you know what’s trippy, Chris? I was actually, I still felt, yeah. Every, every, um, in the last three years, I’ve only missed three weeks, three Sundays basically. I stopped eating Saturday night. I don’t eat again until Monday morning. But my belt loop is the biggest it’s been in my entire life right now. And larges don’t fit me anymore. Like, I won’t go out in this shirt cuz I’ll be too busy pulling it off my body the whole time. And I hate that
Mattew Souza (07:33):
You’re an Excel guy now, or what?
Sevan Matossian (07:34):
No, I won’t go to an Excel. But something has happened. I’ve just gotten old and I’m not, I’m not metabolized. Something has happened. I don’t know what,
Mattew Souza (07:42):
Sevan Matossian (07:45):
My wife thinks it’s, cuz I’m drinking a little bit more sometimes because sometimes I won’t drink at all. Sometimes I’ll, I mean, I’ll go six months without drinking, but lately I’ve been drinking a little bit.
Mattew Souza (07:55):
I feel like drinking makes people puffy, you
Sevan Matossian (07:57):
Know? Yeah. And maybe that’s what’s happened to me. Yeah. But to go up to a larger belt size is kind of crazy. Cuz even when my belt’s tight, I would keep it at the smaller size and just deal with it and just be like, okay, well just don’t eat until it feels comfortable.
Mattew Souza (08:09):
<laugh>. That’s a healthy, that’s a healthy
Sevan Matossian (08:11):
Relationship. You think that’s weird? Do you think that’s weird?
Mattew Souza (08:14):
Sevan Matossian (08:16):
I definitely have eating disorder, but I’m okay with it. Not like, I’m not like, I’m okay. I’m, I like it. Yeah. I’m embracing I have embraced it.
Mattew Souza (08:24):
Grace found an old picture of us in her phone and she was like, wow, Avon’s really leaned out since this and you had,
Sevan Matossian (08:29):
Oh, really? So it’s
Mattew Souza (08:30):
Weird that you’re saying that you have gone up a belt size.
Sevan Matossian (08:33):
Yeah. Oh, well, I have a lot of muscle on me too.
Mattew Souza (08:36):
There you go. It’s all that bench press, dude. That’s how those shirts get sticking.
Sevan Matossian (08:39):
Yeah. And I’ve been doing five, well, yesterday I was running at the skate park and the kid’s skate structure goes, look at your titties bounce. I was like, I didn’t really like that.
Mattew Souza (08:47):
You let him talk about your body like that
Sevan Matossian (08:48):
Dude, dad, dad bod. Yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s a, it’s, it’s, it’s not as good, even as good as it dad bought, but it goes, it does shit like it, it’s good. It runs around and, and does stuff. It can, it’s good. It’s operation, fully operational. Um, this fucking morning, it, you have to understand, yesterday I got up at 5:00 AM to fucking accommodate Hunter. And then this morning, so I was gonna sleep until six. But no, not this morning. I hear my wife screaming, my eyes open and it’s fucking dark in my room still. I’m like, what the fuck is going on? And she’s yelling at the dog. No, no, no. And the dog runs into my room. It’s a big fucking dog. It’s like five dogs in one, not fat. A four year old fucking bo, south African fucking killer. It’s like a pit bull on steroids comes in there and it’s, and I’m like, oh fuck. This dog has been sprayed by skunk again. Oh. And it’s gotten into the house.
Mattew Souza (09:56):
The skunk hat or the smell.
Sevan Matossian (09:59):
It’s gotten into the fucking house.
Mattew Souza (10:05):
Sevan Matossian (10:07):
The dog. Not the skunk, but it’s been sprayed and it’s drooling everywhere and it can’t see. So at fucking five 30 this morning, me and my wife are in the fucking bathtub bathing the dog again. Ugh. And I cannot stand the compassion my dog, my wife has for the dog. It makes me wanna kill someone.
Mattew Souza (10:24):
<laugh> like, you’re ready for the dog to be over. Like,
Sevan Matossian (10:27):
Okay, well we just need, I just fucking pick this fucking thing up and throw him in the fucking bathtub. She’s like trying to gently coax some, my back’s already fucked up. You know what I mean? I just grabbed one arm under her pussy and one arm under her fucking chest. And I’m like, you fucking bitch
Mattew Souza (10:44):
Sevan Matossian (10:45):
And I fucking dive in the fucking bathtub with her. My wife’s all fucking like, it’s okay. It’s okay. She’s got the water on so fucking hot. Like the dog’s a fucking human. That me and the dog are both pan panting. I’m not on t r t, I’m just a fucking stud. Hi Athena. Good morning. Nice to see you. I was actually thinking about yesterday, I was thinking I was gonna call you or text you. It had been a while. I ran into a lady who knew you at the, um, more than knew you. She loved you at the, um, uh, broken science event. Okay. Back to my story. So get the fucking dog in there and she’s got the water too hot. And I’m trying to cool the dog, the the water down. I’m like, it’s not a fucking human. And now I’m talking to my wife in a way that I don’t wanna be talking to her. She’s fucking already rattled, right? Cuz the fucking dog is coming to the house. She’s, she’s basically telling me I can do it. I can do it. And it’s like, no, you can’t fucking do it. She’s trying to grab the dog by the caller to hold him in there. I’m like, you can’t fucking do that. I got one hand on her fucking little snub tail my fucking knuckles up against the dog’s anus. You know, she’s like, oh, you fuck.
I soap the dog. My, my wife’s trying to keep the dog like comfortable with the water. I’m like, stop putting water on the fucking dog and let me soap it. Losing my shit. My back’s pulsating d you know that feeling?
Mattew Souza (12:10):
Yeah. It’s from that aggressive grab earlier. Yeah. Fired it up.
Sevan Matossian (12:15):
And then I have that voice that higher sev, calm down. Enjoy your life. This is fun. You’re with your wife in the bathtub at five 40. Look at her body. This is hilarious. Enjoy herself. You fucking dog. Shit the fuck down. Like those two things are going down. It, it’s a fucking nuts. I’m, it’s fucking nuts. That’s, that’s the problem with being enlightened. You know what I mean? Like, you’re just, it’s a fucking mess in there. Fucking attention. Oh, it’s small. Small man syndrome. Oh, I thought it was, I was enlightened. Fuck me. Thank you. Yeah, I woke up this morning, I’m like, I’m too little to be dealing with this big dog
Mattew Souza (12:57):
Sevan Matossian (12:57):
World hates me. I’m too short. I didn’t even think that until you helped me out with it. David, I to take you out on a tennis court and fucking beat you at a game of short court. You asshole
Mattew Souza (13:12):
<laugh> short court.
Sevan Matossian (13:16):
Okay, let’s, let’s not fool around. You guys wanna see the fucking footage of Trish? Are
Mattew Souza (13:20):
We getting right into it like that?
Sevan Matossian (13:21):
Yeah. I don’t, uh, number 56. Did I send that to you?
Mattew Souza (13:25):
Sevan Matossian (13:26):
Oh, that would be fucking awesome. If I was Trish, that would be fucking brilliant.
Mattew Souza (13:31):
Sevan Matossian (13:34):
Mattew Souza (13:35):
No, no, no, no. The, the link.
Sevan Matossian (13:38):
Mattew Souza (13:39):
Yes. Holy shit. <laugh>.
Sevan Matossian (13:43):
Mattew Souza (13:43):
Sevan Matossian (13:47):
Mattew Souza (13:48):
How is that possible?
Sevan Matossian (13:53):
Holy shit. Go back to the, go back to the original thread where that link came in. Is that possible?
Mattew Souza (14:01):
Sevan Matossian (14:03):
People are gonna think this is like, we did this on purpose. Fuck off the first person who says that.
Mattew Souza (14:09):
No, no. <laugh>
Sevan Matossian (14:11):
It doesn’t work. Text John Young and ask him what the fuck’s going on.
Mattew Souza (14:17):
Sevan Matossian (14:18):
How can that be? Is that in the Manhattan Project thread or in the semi-finals thread?
Mattew Souza (14:22):
In the, uh, in the semi-finals.
Sevan Matossian (14:28):
Oh my goodness. Okay. I still got it. I’m clicking. You got it? I’m clicking it. Nope, I don’t Got it. Yeah.
Mattew Souza (14:38):
Why? I thought too, because it had the little thing,
Sevan Matossian (14:40):
But I, I can see the account still. Why would that be pulled down?
Mattew Souza (14:44):
I don’t know.
Sevan Matossian (14:48):
Oh my goodness. You guys,
Mattew Souza (14:50):
Sevan Matossian (14:51):
It, it, no, no, no. Not click bait Matossian. No, it was Trish. It was on the House of Highlights Instagram account. Right. House of highlights.
Mattew Souza (15:04):
I’m just gonna see. Wow.
Sevan Matossian (15:10):
Look at Ken Walters, uh, Savon. You’re an incredible storyteller. Keep it up. It’s a pleasure listening to you in the morning. Thank you, Ken. Okay. Thank you. I’m a passionate man. Thank you. That’s awesome. That’s, it’s really cool of you. Notice that. Okay. We’re some people say dumb shit like, I’m a drama queen. I got it. You do? Yeah. The actual clip. The actual clip, yeah. Why do you think the clip was broken? The link? I have no idea. That’s fine. Okay.
Mattew Souza (15:38):
That’s actually really cool that that happened though.
Sevan Matossian (15:47):
Okay. Here we go.
Mattew Souza (15:48):
Bring it up.
Sevan Matossian (15:49):
Yeah, Trish, uh, I’m sorry. Here we go. Here is, uh, it’s a little, okay. Hurry. Show it. Jesus. Crime Me. What? You gotta take a dump. Dropping a douce. Okay, here we go. Uh, this is at a Toronto Raptors game. I have no idea. Is there a team called the Toronto Raptors? And, uh, Trish was spotted in the crowd and, uh, while, while commenting on the Savon podcast. So this is actual footage of Trish commenting <laugh>. There she is. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her at the phone. She’s watching the Savon podcast. Good freeze frame.
Mattew Souza (16:30):
Sevan Matossian (16:31):
There’s Ron. Yeah. Look at Ron Ain’t doing shit. Is Ron just protecting his face?
Mattew Souza (16:35):
Yeah. Ron’s too interested in the game. I think he’s
Sevan Matossian (16:37):
Like, what a douche. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Look at the lady behind Trish. I’d never even noticed that. She’s ready. Yeah. She senses, uh, some systemic racism coming her way. Holy shit. Here we go. Here we go. Action. <laugh>. Boom man. And there’s a, a never before seen Trisha’s daughter. Mm-hmm. Trisha’s daughter. Her. Anyway, there you go. First, uh, raw, uh, organic footage of Trish in the wild. Uh, we have Ron, we have Trisha’s, uh, daughter who she, um, had through vaginal birth. Listen to this asshole right here. Cornholio. Uh oh. This is sev bun. I apologize. Uh, Trish would never go to an NBA basketball game. If she did, she would never sit that close to the floor. You don’t even know, dude. Do not let your eyes lie. Do not let your thoughts lie to you. Uh, Trish is a throat goat. That’s rude. Uh, Trish used to, uh, uh, is used to balls to the face. That’s well. Mm-hmm.
Mattew Souza (17:55):
<affirmative>. Thank you.
Sevan Matossian (17:57):
God. Judy’s awesome, isn’t she
Mattew Souza (17:59):
Sevan Matossian (18:00):
Hey. So ju look at, look at her sweet attractive Asian lady. Uh, intelligent husband. Classy. And she just went to on her keyboard and she typed in, Trish is used to balls to the face. And then she leaned back and looked at her work. Yeah. Send <laugh>.
Mattew Souza (18:18):
Yeah. We gotta bring that
Sevan Matossian (18:19):
Up. <laugh>. Oh, this is everyone’s, uh, this is everyone’s, uh, escape. Yeah, it was good, right? Hector? Yeah. Judy’s.
Mattew Souza (18:31):
Judy’s good lady.
Sevan Matossian (18:34):
Uh, uh, Trish sends her kids to daycare. Yeah. She, she’s old school. She didn’t, she doesn’t know better. Yeah. All of her kids have been diddled at the daycare. For sure. It happens. It makes them stronger. It doesn’t kill you. Uh uh, dude, Judy is wild savvy in the best ways. Wow. Well,
Mattew Souza (18:52):
Look, Jeremy, she’s taking Jeremy.
Sevan Matossian (18:53):
Mattew Souza (18:54):
Sevan Matossian (18:55):
That’s awesome. But I like to think that I’m gonna keep that. Um, I’m gonna keep that, uh, in my head. I’m gonna start visualizing. See what Judy is Wild.
Mattew Souza (19:05):
Judy is wild.
Sevan Matossian (19:08):
No, not that one. No, not that one. Do you have them marked? Um, which is which? Or you, you have ’em memorized.
Mattew Souza (19:15):
I just have the colors. Yeah. Just memorized.
Sevan Matossian (19:18):
Not very much. Uh, Kenneth de lap. I’m disappointed. Just like when my dad promised to be a chaperone on a field trip to a week of camp. But when it, but when On a two day drinking bender and showed up five minutes before the bus left. Wow. Is that true? That’s fucking amazing. That’s like fucking, like textbook. Oh, that is amazing. Mean. Uh, oh, interesting. Uh, I, I bet I Instagram pulled, it was one of our people on the semifinal thread says, I bet IG pulled it down because of bodily harm to a person. It’s possible. Mm. But it’s back up.
Mattew Souza (20:00):
Sevan Matossian (20:02):
All right. Uh, so the other day, as you guys saw, those of you who followed me on Instagram, you saw that, um, identify with being a black man? I didn’t. I did not. I kind of knew. I kind of always knew that I was culturally black. Like I was a hybrid. I was raised in a, I’m Armenian, but I was raised culturally black. Like just always listening to rap music. Always just like, I just, I just wanted to talk black. I just wanted to, I just loved, I loved fucking rap music. I loved music videos. Like U T F O. I wanted to stand around with a bunch of dudes and be like, I didn’t like the part where your pants sag. I did not like that part. I was never gonna do that.
Mattew Souza (20:47):
Sevan Matossian (20:49):
And, and, uh, and I like wolfers in the, in the back and I like lowered cars and I liked carrying guns and, and just like, just all the stuff that rap dudes do. Like, I liked the, you know what I mean? I just like all that stuff.
Mattew Souza (21:04):
You like that Street
Sevan Matossian (21:04):
Life Dealing drugs. I really enjoyed dealing drugs. Like selling drugs. Just, just the, the, the, um, the, the, the po Well, since, since then I’ve learned that it’s actually, um, it’s actually, uh, since then I’ve actually learned it’s, it’s redneck culture. It’s not even black. The blacks stole it. That’s culturally all that rap shit’s culturally appropriated. They pretty much have to stop. We should flush all that shit down the toilet. <laugh>. Did you know that, that that’s all redneck culture? Yeah. That basically blacks were stripped of their culture as slaves. And they were given redneck culture just because they was all fucking rednecks that were working with them in the, uh, on the plantations.
Mattew Souza (21:48):
The redneck? Or did it come from like the Irish
Sevan Matossian (21:51):
Whatever. It sounds the same to me.
Mattew Souza (21:53):
Or isn’t like the redneck,
Sevan Matossian (21:55):
But, but southern redneck culture, like the way some of our callers are who calls in, like, remember that dude he used to call in Dick Marrin Ha like gomer py Shit. That’s like, that’s like white redneck culture. And, and somehow the fucking blacks got it in the south and then they, they claim it’s theirs. And then like, version two of redneck culture is fucking ice cube <laugh>. I’m serious.
Mattew Souza (22:20):
Sevan Matossian (22:21):
I’m serious. Anyway, uh, yeah, there you go. That’s it. Uh, Ken Walters, uh, I went from, uh, Armenian inter immigrant rosemary classy lady to someone wannabe A gangster. Yeah, totally. I did some gangster shit that’s still probably kind of wannabe. Oh, here it is. Uh, Lauren Lewis, uh, Thomas Sowell book. Black Rednecks and White Liberals. Read it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I will. I
Mattew Souza (22:43):
Heard that from,
Sevan Matossian (22:45):
Oh, I, that’s, that’s actually not true. I am not going, going to read it, but I am going to, um,
Mattew Souza (22:52):
Listen to it.
Sevan Matossian (22:53):
I’m gonna purchase the audio. Yeah. Audiobook. Uh,
Mattew Souza (22:56):
I just got book, um, two days ago. What
Sevan Matossian (22:59):
Did you get?
Mattew Souza (23:00):
Economics Facts and fallacies.
Sevan Matossian (23:04):
Oh, that’s gonna be good.
Mattew Souza (23:05):
Sevan Matossian (23:06):
Have you started it yet?
Mattew Souza (23:08):
I’m just like, one page in like, the preface.
Sevan Matossian (23:13):
Did you order it online?
Mattew Souza (23:15):
No, I went to Barnes and Noble and Got it. I I still go to Barnes and Noble. I still like being in the bookstore.
Sevan Matossian (23:19):
Got it. Thank you. Thank you Lauren. Okay. I’m listening to, um, I’ve always been obsessed with just books. I, I read, I basically read anything I could get on the Black Panthers, 50 books on the Black Panthers, Angela Davis to Huey Newton, all those fuckers. And their lawyer was Armenian. That was the only white dude allowed in the group. That was kind of cool. I read everything I could on Malcolm X, everything I could on Nelson Mandela. I was obsessed. Cause I, cause some of, you know, I was the only white dude in my neighborhood for a couple years. The only one is crazy and I’m barely white, like I said. So anyway, so, so then, so yesterday I’m in this market. I, in, in my Instagram post, I said I was in a liquor store, but I’m gonna tell you the truth. I was in this fancy because I was just in a hurry and I just wanted to write.
I was in this fancy fucking market, this tiny little market. And it’s the kind of market where like cheeses are like, hi Trish. How was the basketball game? Armenians aren’t white, they’re Asian. Yeah. Which I think is closer to being black than white is. Um, so, so I’m, I’m in this market and it’s one of those fancy markets, right? Where they handmake the burritos and the sandwiches and the cheeses are five times as much as they should be. And it’s just, and they have like the wooden spoons and shit for sale and little rocks with crystals in ’em. And just like fancy all sorts of fancy like sparkling waters you’ve never heard of. You know what I’m talking about? Is it the one
Mattew Souza (24:37):
That’s close to the ocean?
Sevan Matossian (24:38):
Yes. By the tennis courts? Yes. Yeah.
Mattew Souza (24:40):
Grace loves to go to that place.
Sevan Matossian (24:42):
Yeah, that place. It’s cool, right? Yeah. Yeah. It’s fucked up. Everything’s so expensive. So I go in there and I’m in line and the, and the line is slow as shit. And there’s five people in line in front of me. So I’m in line there with the sparkling water and I’m buying, um, Avi something. I can’t remember. What, what did he get? What? Did Avi get his sandwich? No. What did get
Mattew Souza (24:58):
The juices in there are good.
Sevan Matossian (24:59):
We, we don’t drink juice. Please don’t say that on the show.
Mattew Souza (25:02):
No, no. It’s like they like juice. It like
Sevan Matossian (25:04):
Actual, oh, Jews. You like the Jews are good in that sh store. <laugh> what? Uh, yeah. Uh, you read that Malcolm’s autobiography in one day, thick book. Uh, Alex Haley, great book. Great book. Um, who, who, uh, fuck, what was he getting? Anyway, it doesn’t matter. And I’m in line and about two people before it’s supposed to be my turn. This kid fucking walks up and he doesn’t get in line. And then it’s my turn. And he’s standing there and he’s come at the line from an angle that’s clearly not the line. And I look at him and it’s a black kid, and I say to myself, well, I’m gonna let him go. So this doesn’t turn into a fucking international George Floyd incident. And he doesn’t say that the white, that he doesn’t fucking go and say that the fucking white man fucking, and so I go after you son and he goes, no, no after you. And I’m like, goddammit,
Mattew Souza (26:04):
Sevan Matossian (26:05):
Racist piece of shit. I was talking to myself, not him. I said, oh, thank you. Shocked. How dare he ruined my,
Mattew Souza (26:15):
You just thought I was gonna cut the line, didn’t you?
Sevan Matossian (26:17):
Mattew Souza (26:18):
What happened? Respectful, polite.
Sevan Matossian (26:20):
Yeah. It was probably fucking Spider-man. The new black spider-man. Afro Spider-Man. Fucked up my whole fucking story. I said, okay, cool. And, uh, uh, I paid for my shit and that’s when I gave the a hundred dollars bill. And that’s when the dude starts examining it. He’s, he, the first thing he says is, I’ve never seen a counterfeit a hundred dollar bill. I’m like, what the fuck? This is counterfeit a hundred dollar bill. Are the cops gonna show up? Is he gonna call the cops? Am I gonna have to say something? Yeah. Am I gonna have to tell the cops that I did not know this was a counterfeit a hundred dollar bill? And the whole time I’m gonna be thinking I lied. <laugh>. No, he didn’t cut behind me. He wasn’t a homo. He was a black guy. He may have been a homo. He came, he came at an angle where the line wasn’t supposed to be coming from. But, but, but in, in his defense, in, in the kid’s defense, like the line wasn’t delineated. The only way you knew that where the line, it’s, it’s not like laid out on the floor. It’s not like a typical grocery store where you know the direction the line’s supposed to be. He was actually probably standing in the spot that was smarter to have a line.
Mattew Souza (27:17):
Yeah, that spot where I stand and they got in trouble and they said, no, it’s over here.
Sevan Matossian (27:20):
Oh, yeah. Yeah. It’s fucked up over there, right? Yes. Yes.
Mattew Souza (27:23):
You’re talking about
Sevan Matossian (27:24):
Yes. Yes. That’s cool that you know that.
Mattew Souza (27:27):
Yeah. I’m just glad they finally put down, took down the plexiglass
Sevan Matossian (27:33):
Kids. Listen, dear, dear, oh dear kids, dear, listen. Oh, oh, dear. Why am I, why am I listening to this guy beat someone’s ass right now? <laugh>, uh, where am I going with this? Oh, here, here, here we go. Here we go. Uh, uh, um, a dear, dear, oh, to your dear, go to your drone. Why am I listening to this weirdo? I’m passionate. You’ll be lucky. Oh, to your kids if one day you have an eighth of the passion that I have. Okay. Uh, so, so I was wrong. I, I I, I, I, I, I was wrong about the, uh, the, the, the black human being, the white human being was wrong about the black human being. And, and I, so then I pay the a hundred dollars. And I realize at that point, like I’m, I’m always freaked out about that. I’m al anytime there’s cops or like anytime there’s any authority, anytime I walk in anywhere, like even when I go to the movie theater and I buy a ticket and then there’s no one there to show my ticket to, you know what I mean? They
Mattew Souza (28:46):
Think you’re gonna just cut it to,
Sevan Matossian (28:48):
I just think like the whole, like, I sit down from when I, from, you know what I mean? Like, you know how movie theater, you know, when we, when I don’t know you, when I was a kid, there were like plenty of people to work in the movie theater. Someone you paid the money to, someone you bought the popcorn from, and then someone you gave your ticket to. Now it’s one person. It’s one kid with fucking bunch of holes in his face, hair dyed pink. She sells the tickets too. You, then she runs over to the fucking popcorn and then there’s no one there to tear your ticket. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Do you know what I mean? Yep.
Mattew Souza (29:12):
Sevan Matossian (29:13):
It’s, yeah. Look at Blade. I, uh, we would’ve, uh, uh, activated squad on your ass. Yeah. <laugh>. That’s what I mean. I can’t, um,
Mattew Souza (29:22):
Strolled up for that a hundred dollars Bill
Sevan Matossian (29:23):
<laugh>. Yeah, that’s what I, that I, that’s what I mean, that’s spoken like a cop. I know you guys would. So e even then I’m paranoid. I’m like, how do they know that I paid? Is someone gonna come talk to me when I sit down on my seat? Can’t. And then I realized, I realize, but I’m okay with it. I’m not complaining about it. By the way. No one would be like, he’s complaining cuz of No, I’m, I’m, I’m used to it. I’m used to always having a guilty conscience. Oh, I’m just totally used, used to it. And then I realized, oh shit, that’s the plight of the black man. And at that point I knew I am. That’s the cornerstone.
The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.
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