Live Call In Show – Shatican Glory Hole UPDATE

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

We’re live polls are fun, right?

Caleb Beaver (00:01):

Yeah, I like them.

Sevan Matossian (00:06):

Is there No, he doesn’t, agent doesn’t party. Agent probably partied hard last night. He doesn’t party. He parties as hard as that old dude. In your picture,


Do you think that there’s anyone who thinks that in our chat or who watches this show? There’s one, even one person. Good morning. Do you think there’s even one person who thinks that, I guess the presupposition here, there’s two presuppositions I’d ask you to make to answer this question. One that there really was a pandemic and two, I guess some mixture of number of days of life versus being alive as the other metric. If that doesn’t make sense to you at will in a second, is there anyone here that thinks that our reaction to, I even feel weird saying it to whatever that was we went through.


I think it’s easier to make other presuppositions than to think that any of that shit actually was real, but let’s say it was real. Is there anyone who thinks that our reactions of closing down the schools was a good idea or masking was a good idea, or shutting down businesses was a good idea or keeping people away? Were there any pieces of that journey or reactions that anyone thinks was valuable? I’m just curious and if so, just let me know in the comments or was there any reaction that we took that you think was valuable that helped mitigate the problem that made it so fewer people died? Can you think of anything? Do you think the ventilators had a net positive? Do you think that forcing all restaurants to close for six months was a net positive? Do you think quarantine, is there any, even the tiniest piece of it that was positive because I’m tripping that every single response to it was negative and then I think of the George Floyd incident. Let’s say you actually did care about, let’s presume, let’s make the presupposition that you actually do care about the mistreatment of people by cops based on the color of their skin. Do you think that there’s anything that happened during those two years that helped that interaction helped society? Because those two specific incidences, is there a way to shut off all of the bubbles and

Caleb Beaver (02:58):

I think like a computer setting, but yeah, let me look to see if I can do

Sevan Matossian (03:01):

That. I wonder if I would go into settings and layouts. Guest hotkey, recording general. I’ll go to general. No camera, no virtual background, no recordings. Hotkey, no layouts. Oh, the layouts thing is cool. I’ve never seen that guests. Oh shit, I can’t see it. The reaction to Covid I think got way, way more people injured and killed than helped, and the reaction to BLM made it worse for people with melanated skin with the and white skin significantly. I mean, we already know. I quote this stat all the time in the two years after Floyd, with the defund, the police and the BLM rights, there was a 34% increase in black on black homicide, 34%. That’s nuts for a group of people that are already in what you would have to, would have to say starting to look like a genocide.


It increased by 34%, which is nuts. And then you think that the average person gained 24 pounds because of the reaction to Covid. The free Palestine thing is the same way. All that shit’s just getting those Palestinians killed just like the BLM thing just got black people killed. It sucks. It just really sucks that it’s happening like this. The people who think that they’re helping are getting people killed. If you really cared, if you really cared you, you would do something else. You don’t say free Palestine. You’re basically supporting and demanding those people stay and fight and that you’re going to get them killed.


Can you imagine what the outcome would be if we had a knee jerk reaction around guns? All of these things that we have a knee-jerk emotional reaction to. We just get people hurt. God. So many unnecessary fucking black people died in this country and so many people died from ventilators and injections and shit, and the fallout, the fallout’s going to just continue and now with the Palestinians, I was talking with this lady and she just kept saying to me, Hey, the Israelis are killing women and children over there, and I’m just thinking to myself, wow, me and you are in two totally different pages. You’re laying in the street and you were just hit by a car and you want to tell him you’re arguing to me that you had the right of way with your last breath. And I’m like, dude, I’m telling everyone else on either side. Do not cross the street on a red light. You will get hit and die


Racist. Dave, good morning racist, Dave. Good morning. It just, man, it sucks. Free Palestine. Free Palestine, those people are over there just getting fucking mowed down and you’re worried about their freedom. You’re dead in the street dying and you’re worried about telling people you had the right of way. You’re worried about cops with 365 million stops a year interactions with people a year. You’re worried about 12 unarmed black men who resisted being killed while fucking thousands are being murdered in the streets and now the cops won’t interact with them because they’re afraid because of your protest, because you burnt down Ferguson. Wow.


I know you’re asking a loaded question, but that’s fine. I don’t care. Should Israel try to minimize civilian casualties? That is the stupidest question ever. Right? Will come on. Come on. Will work with me. Let me ask you this. If they’ve dropped 72,000 bombs and only 10,000 people died, isn’t it obvious they’re minimizing civilian casualties? No. They shouldn’t minimize civilian casualties. It’s a fucked up question. The people on the ground, did you hear what’s happening now? They’re leaving. I saw yesterday. They’re leaving in droves moving, by the way. Yeah. The people of Palestine, listen, if you really cared about something really, really cared. You cared about the a hundred thousand people who died from fentanyl overdose in this country in the past year between the age of 19 and 25, and the vast majority of them who were not taking fentanyl, which means they died of bio-terrorism. You know that, right? If you died from something that was in a hamburger like rat poison that was in a hamburger you got from Burger King, it’s not an accident you didn’t OD on a hamburger. Someone poison. I heard Vivek say that. What? Say it again. I heard

Caleb Beaver (08:19):

Vivek say that in the Republican debates. I hadn’t heard it explained like that, but once he said it I was like, yeah, that actually makes a whole lot of sense.

Sevan Matossian (08:25):

Yeah. I said, who do you think I stow stow it from stow that shit. Nothing is left thousands of Palestinians flee south of as Israel steps up Gaza City offense. Yeah. You can’t have an ethnic cleansing if you’re not fucking killing everybody, first of all, and you can’t have an ethnic cleansing if it’s not an ethnicity. That’s not an ethnicity. Those people are not an ethnicity. Well, they are an ethnicity. They’re just not Palestinian. There is no such thing as any more than there’s a Californian or an Idahoan, but the intention was for us to think that they are an ethnicity. That was the intention. That’s why they started conflating the term as an ethnicity in 1964, and they did that with the plan. What? That was the agenda. 12, no, sorry, 15 million Jews worldwide. Okay, 15 million Jews worldwide. That’s less than there are Mormons. There’s 16 million Mormons. I think 15 million Jews worldwide. 1.8 billion Muslims. I said this to you before. If every Muslim Chinese became the world language and they wanted to hire the Jews to teach Chinese to the Muslims, they could hire every single Jew and it would still only be one Jew for every 120 Muslims. You cannot be the bully if there’s fucking 15 million of you and 1.8 billion of them.


I don’t even know what this means. I’ll have to look this up. Whatever this means. 15 million non-ethnic Jews. They’re not Hebrew. Oh, so you’re saying they’re religious Jews. They’re not ethnic Jews. Is Hebrew the ethnicity of a lot of Jews? Is that what you’re telling me? Yeah. School me up. I’m ready in some modern languages. Thank you. Mr. Caleb Beaver, author and creator of the Shakin series on YouTube. Very, very, very violent episode. This most recent one, I watched it last night, made my back tighten up. It was hearing from my lawyers and some modern languages including Armenian, Greek and Italian, Romanian, and many Slavic languages. The name Hebrews with linguistic variations is the standard we need. Greg. That’s

Caleb Beaver (11:12):


Sevan Matossian (11:13):

Thank you. Ethno. What’s that mean? Ethno?

Caleb Beaver (11:16):

I think it’s like the name for an ethnicity,

Sevan Matossian (11:21):

The standard ethnicity for Jews, but in many other languages in which both terms exist, it is currently considered derogatory to call Jews. Hebrews. No shit. That’s bullshit. That is.

Caleb Beaver (11:31):

It’s Wikipedia. Do you want me to edit it real quick?

Sevan Matossian (11:34):

Hebrew. You’re a Hebrew.

Caleb Beaver (11:37):


Sevan Matossian (11:39):

I thought kike was the derogatory term.

Caleb Beaver (11:43):

Just weeding out words. Every year,

Sevan Matossian (11:47):

Tyler Spli synonym of an ethnicity. You think that’s really his picture?

Caleb Beaver (11:57):

Yeah, it is.

Sevan Matossian (11:58):

Do you know? Wow. That’s crazy. What a crazy look.

Caleb Beaver (12:02):

He’s got a great mustache.

Sevan Matossian (12:03):

I know. Yeah. I mean he looks like he just fell out of the seventies. Man. I haven’t watched the NFL in a long time. That is some fucking brain dead candy shit. Now I know why I stopped watching it. It’s just pure escapism. I’m not dogging on it.

Caleb Beaver (12:26):

Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I can’t watch it with announcers anymore, even ncaa, unless they’re talking about somebody I care to hear about Tyson or specific players from a college team.

Sevan Matossian (12:43):

Yeah, it’s

Caleb Beaver (12:43):

Garbage. I can’t listen to

Sevan Matossian (12:44):

It. It’s candy for the brain. It’ll rot in. I did notice though that when Tyson went on the after show how much he lights everyone up. Did you see how excited they get? The lady was swooning a little bit.

Caleb Beaver (12:57):

I think they all were.

Sevan Matossian (12:59):

Yeah, it was crazy.

Caleb Beaver (13:00):

They were stoked.

Sevan Matossian (13:02):

He’s just so real compared to their just God, it’s just so bad.

Caleb Beaver (13:09):

Yeah, I think they were excited to have him on whenever they talked about his dad too, they were like, holy shit, this family is just otherworldly.

Sevan Matossian (13:21):

They’re trying to be hip and cute, but it’s just, man, they don’t have it. Say it again.

Caleb Beaver (13:34):

Too old for that.

Sevan Matossian (13:36):

Yeah, maybe that’s what it is, but it is just so corporate. It’s wild. I also realized how at one point the guy’s like there were two commentators. Someone said it was the best college commentator and the best NFL commentator working together and man, they were smooth. You know what I realized also why Tonto sounds that way?

Caleb Beaver (14:07):

What do you mean?

Sevan Matossian (14:08):

He sounds like those guys, if he’s the lines he says and kind of slips in those one-liners and those, I wouldn’t say they’re metaphors, but they’re these clever sayings. They’re pretty clever. I mean those guys are good, but I was like, oh, this is what the Lone Ranger and Tonto are going for. They’re emulating these guys.

Caleb Beaver (14:29):

Yeah, I could see that.

Sevan Matossian (14:31):

Yeah, and they’re good at emulating them. I’m not even saying that as a dig. They’re good at emulating them, but

Caleb Beaver (14:38):

I mean there’s a certain brand of announcer that most large sporting events have. You can find the same kind of personalities in every announcing team, every sport, so if they’re trying to like that hockey is going to have the same kind of person that the NFL does. NFL is going to have the same as baseball, so on and so forth.

Sevan Matossian (15:04):

And what’s interesting, I could recognize it, I just can’t describe it maybe as I watch it more and more. I mean I’ve watched more Lone Ranger and Tonto commentating by significant margins than those guys in the last 20 years by a long shot, and there was a section where they were talking about how he did handstand walks and they were blown away by that when they were talking about how blown away they were that Tyson bet could walk on his hand. I was like, oh my God, we truly live in a bubble. Truly, that’s just normal for us.

Caleb Beaver (15:49):

Yeah, isn’t that weird? They’re like, oh, is he a gymnast?

Sevan Matossian (15:51):

Even dinging dongs like me go upside down regularly.

Speaker 3 (15:57):

Tyson has an unbelievable competitive spirit according to his college football coach, to the point that during one training camp agent challenged one of the team athletic trainers who was a gymnast to see who could walk farther on their hands at the end of every practice that summer it was a contest, 1575 up to a hundred yards. His college coach, NIE mc coach said it was the only reason record agents ever wanted to have

Sevan Matossian (16:21):

Talking about it. Well, obviously those numbers are fantastic, but they’re just shocked that anyone would even walk on their hands. The commentators go on to speak. It’s nuts. It just makes me realize we really are, or


The shit that we think is regular. Janelle was kind of schooling me yesterday too, the fact that we know that, hey, you shouldn’t just go get frozen orange juice at the store, add three cups of water and drink the whole picture. When we were kids, we thought that was healthy and now we’re like, you’re fucking crazy. You’re taking just a massive dose of sugar. I guess most of the world still doesn’t know that. They don’t know that. Hey, it’s cool, it’s fine. You should be walking on your hands and you shouldn’t wash down your orange juice for the Coca-Cola.

Caleb Beaver (17:10):

It helps you realize how much you have to explain to people who are new to CrossFit or if you’re trying to get somebody to start CrossFit, you

Sevan Matossian (17:18):

Have to start the journey. Yeah, I feel like almost like an ass, we’re completely on a different planet and there’s not a lot of us.

Caleb Beaver (17:25):

Yeah, exactly.

Sevan Matossian (17:29):

For us or someone like me, I’m like, I bet you most of the guys though in the NFL can walk on their hands. Maybe not those giant lineman guys, maybe them too, but I have to guess that most of those guys have the ability to at least get upside down and take a few steps.

Caleb Beaver (17:47):

Yeah, I would probably imagine wide receivers and running backs probably. They could probably all get upside down and start walking

Sevan Matossian (17:57):

The generic deep voice douche voice. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Yeah, that scared me. Blade Walker, did y’all see the throw that ice the game last night? That window was not small. Oh, was not small. Was small. Was small. Meaning he put you’re talking about with there was 38 seconds left or something and he stepped back and dropped a seven yard pass or something. Yeah, yeah. What’s the window mean? I would call that threading the needle. That was scary.

Caleb Beaver (18:30):

Yeah, I think that was a tight throw.

Sevan Matossian (18:31):

Yeah. Boy, that could have ruined the whole game. Yeah,

Caleb Beaver (18:36):

For sure. He said it was small. He fixed it.

Sevan Matossian (18:44):

A soccer mom, you should try to get that picture again with Stacey, but wear ACEO shirt and see what she says. I got five on it. She says, no thank you.

Caleb Beaver (18:56):

Maybe I’ll drop in at her gym and wear it. Ask if I can take a picture.

Sevan Matossian (19:07):

They asked if he was a gymnast when he was little. No, I mean he’s just crazy athletic. He played all the sports. I remember. I bet you I have video footage somewhere of, I know I went to a basketball game of his when he was a little kid. He was the only white kid. It was a basketball tournament. He was the only white kid there. There’s like 500 black kids. You know what I mean? There’s like three courts going simultaneously. I want to say I’m making this up, but I want to say maybe he shot a basket into the wrong hoop. I have to ask. Really? Yeah, he was by far the shortest kid out there at the time. He was little when I saw him play basketball, like maybe four or five. I love the way he talks his accent, everything about him.

Caleb Beaver (20:03):

Yeah, right. Just got swag.

Sevan Matossian (20:05):

He should be a rogue athlete. His dad wearing rogue hoodie got 5 million views last night. That’s more than the last five games combined. Bo Smith.


Here’s what I realized. So Dave was on the show, or I think Dave was on the show and I was like, Hey, you guys fucked the timing up of talking with Tyson. You should have done it way before. And he’s like, no, no. The timing was perfect and it was addressed in other places too, and other people were weighing in on it and I know they’re wrong. I don’t think it’s, I just know they’re wrong call dogmatic, but last night it completely solidified it with anyone with a brain. He would’ve brought more popularity with his high school accolades and attention to CrossFit than any CrossFitter can. Meaning we saw last night by that handstand talk that we’re just so fringe. What we accept as normal is completely wild to those people. And so even they should have been making pieces on him when he was one of the best high school quarterbacks who ever lived and it would’ve been easy and shit.


Maybe I was even in charge then. Maybe it was me who dropped the ball. But those are the kind of stories. If the best high school quarterback in the United States, and I know that there’s a hundred of the best guys, but the dad’s also an affiliate owner and he’s also doing CrossFit, then just do a piece on him. It’s so easy and then do another piece on him in college and then another maybe five pieces on him in college, one a year. We sound stupid by saying we waited until he was in the NFL. That’s not even the goal of it. The goal of it would be like, Hey, look at this kid’s really fucking good and if you have a kid, you should have him do CrossFit too. It’s a great supplement and it’s one of the things that makes him the best high school player, not wait until he is on the bears. It’s just silly. We wanted to maximize and get the most out of him. We’re scumbags. Alright? Yeah, we know you’re not

Caleb Beaver (22:13):

Even maximizing it at this point. Nobody has known who he is until apparently now.

Sevan Matossian (22:25):

And autistic CrossFitter and autistic CrossFitter man. The trans community’s trying to get you guys to be one and the same. Did you know that

Caleb Beaver (22:41):

Trans community’s trying to pick up autistic CrossFitters?

Sevan Matossian (22:44):

Kind of. Oh, please tell me. I didn’t mess my notes up. Oh, okay. Here we go. Look at this. I didn’t send you the new notes. I’ll send ’em to you in a second. Oh, you’re temporarily blocked. It looks like you’re misusing this feature by going too fast. You’ve been temporarily blocked from using it. Wow.

Caleb Beaver (23:06):

What feature?

Sevan Matossian (23:07):

I don’t know, but that seems to be a theme of something’s happened to me on Instagram when I use it on my computer. I wonder if they know I’m streaming it to YouTube and they’re somehow pissed at me. I’m going to send you this over. Wow, that’s crazy. November 10th, 2023. We should only refer to it as the mentally Ill flag for now on Look at play 2 47.

Caleb Beaver (23:38):

Hold on, I’m waiting for it to come through.

Sevan Matossian (23:40):

Oh no, you’re going to see my notes about the shakin. I should have kept those private.

Caleb Beaver (23:46):

What’d you say? 2 42.

Sevan Matossian (23:48):

2 47.

Caleb Beaver (23:49):

2 4 7.

Sevan Matossian (23:53):

Niche niche. Caroline, how are you pronouncing? Niche, niche, niche, niche, niche. We should ask Tyson to pronounce it. Okay, here we go. Check this out. This is, here we go.

Speaker 4 (24:12):

Sub solutionary homage to right here. Drove past and saw this at a church. This is a church. This is obviously the lgbtq plus flag and I made a video and that video kind of got banned all over the place and this

Speaker 5 (24:26):

Flag is what we see here. Now obviously everybody knows this, the LG GBT flag, but I want to showcase a few things to you guys about. If you notice, you’ll start to see this part of the flag adding more into the situation. You’ll start to see more of these colors added. This is supposed to be for black people. This is supposed to be for brown people. These colors right here seem to be a little strange. This goes into what’s called a minor attracted person or youth attracted person pedophile flag. So I want to go over what these actual colors mean. Blue and light blue on this flag stands for attraction to infant boys. The pink stands for attraction to minor girls. The white stands for attraction to virgin children. It went from just the rainbow, which initially was

Sevan Matossian (25:06):

Got. Dude, that is insane.

Caleb Beaver (25:13):


Sevan Matossian (25:14):

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this. I’ve heard this probably half dozen times. They have that up at the recycling center in Santa Cruz. I don’t know why you have to have the same genitalia flag up in front. Why do you have sex flags up in front of your church? Who goes to a church where they’re, it’s so bizarre. We live,

Caleb Beaver (25:38):

Yeah, I want to know what

Sevan Matossian (25:40):

We live with.

Caleb Beaver (25:40):

What denomination?

Sevan Matossian (25:43):

That’s a Catholic church.

Caleb Beaver (25:44):

No way.

Sevan Matossian (25:46):

That’s what he says. Keep going. Are you Catholic?

Caleb Beaver (25:49):

Technically? Yes. Confirm

Sevan Matossian (25:51):

That. Have you been called by God? I was just realizing that’s the reason why. Guess why I can’t be a Christian or a Catholic. I’ve never been called by. I’ve been called. I’m just waiting. I was the last one picked even after in PE class when I was a kid. All the boys were picked and then some girls were picked and then I was picked and it’s like this whole God thing is the same way just hanging out. I’m over here just being cool too, but I wasn’t going to score any goals for your team, so I understand. I was never like, this is fucked up. I was like, yep, I know why you’re not picking me.

Caleb Beaver (26:24):

I had a very different experience. I was always picked first.

Sevan Matossian (26:27):

Oh, have you been picked by God? Have God called you? Do you know what religion you are?

Caleb Beaver (26:35):

I mean, I was raised Catholic. It’s confirmed Catholic, but

Sevan Matossian (26:39):

Have you ever been in the shower and it’s like, Caleb, you are one of mine and you’re like, oh fuck

Caleb Beaver (26:47):

No. I’ve had weird instances where something very specific will come up and it’s been at very specific times in my life and it’s the same

Sevan Matossian (27:02):

When you were deployed and the podcast came into your life, you’re like, fuck, there is a God

Caleb Beaver (27:08):

No. It was like,

Sevan Matossian (27:10):

You don’t have to be a dick about it. No reason to be a dick about it. No need. I’m cool. We’re cool, man. And you were buddies.

Caleb Beaver (27:15):

I know I’ve been working on the podcast a lot longer than when I was deployed, but

Sevan Matossian (27:19):

Oh darn it.

Caleb Beaver (27:21):

No, it was just like there’s a very specific thing that’ll show up every so often and that’s about the extent of anything calling out to me, I guess.

Sevan Matossian (27:34):

So you believe you have some evidence that you clinging to, you have some evidence. Remember we had a guy on the show, maybe it was the CrossFit podcast and the Taliban attacked his base and he was driving in a car while they were shooting and he was on the base and a bullet went into the car and got lodged in his headrest. And when he saw that he’s like, yeah, God saved me. And I’m like, wow. I thought it was the headrest. You just said it was the headrest, but if God put the headrest there,

Caleb Beaver (28:12):

Some sort of divine intervention in a sense, I guess

Sevan Matossian (28:17):

Mean being alive seems kind of like some divine intervention.

Caleb Beaver (28:22):

The more I look into it, the more I find it’s crazy that all the things that have to go just to exist, just to come into the world and then after that it’s just a series of events that allow you to maintain your existence, I guess.

Sevan Matossian (28:42):

I think it was Vivek said, I can’t remember if it was Vivek or Tim Scott, but one of those guys said like, Hey, it doesn’t matter whether you believe in God or being a Christian or not for this country to operate, it has to have Christian values. I think it was Tim Scott. So he says, this country welcomes people who are not Christian, but for this country to operate it has to have Christian values. And I was like, dude, I believe in that to my core now it has to have Christian values for this thing to work. The way the Constitution is set up. You don’t have to hate, just because you’re not Christian doesn’t mean you have to hate it. I don’t do alarm clocks, but I think that they make a lot of the world operate and I’m cool with other people using them. It’s like, dude, just chill. Everyone chill. Do you want to end up like fucking Iran or Russia or India? Have you been to any of these places or China? I’ve been to these places Japan for different reasons. You will not like those places if you’re an American.

Caleb Beaver (29:50):

They don’t have Christian values.

Sevan Matossian (29:52):

Something happened there. Yeah, something’s going on there that does not make those places fun. Have you.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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