Live Call In | I Earned a PHD in Discernment

Sevan Matossian (00:01):

Bam. We’re live. Have you seen this fucking chick, Kate Foster? That fucking trolls. Me and Hiller just goes around and just hates, she’s just spews hate.

Caleb Beaver (00:13):

I don’t think I’ve seen it until this morning, but she seems like a serial commenter.

Sevan Matossian (00:20):

Oh dude, it’s crazy. She’s like, fucking cancel culture queen. She wants to be the fucking police.

Caleb Beaver (00:27):

Good for her.

Sevan Matossian (00:30):

That’s not the response I want. She’s the fun police. I’ve stopped uploading to Rumble. I wonder, but it should be uploading automatically there, but

Caleb Beaver (00:43):

It’s not live.

Sevan Matossian (00:48):

Hiller’s mom passed away when he was a kid, and yesterday I just dropped it on the show and then afterwards I was like, maybe I shouldn’t have said that. Now I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have just said that. I shouldn’t have said that.

Caleb Beaver (00:59):

When you started that sentence, I thought that was going to be a recent thing and I was going to be very sad.

Sevan Matossian (01:04):

Yeah, no,

Caleb Beaver (01:05):

That’s good.

Sevan Matossian (01:06):

When he was a kid, I started thinking about all the people who listened to the show and find it amusing. I was like, oh, I wonder if these, these are all people who have gone through trauma. I don’t like to use the word trauma. Oh, look, two brain business. That

Caleb Beaver (01:30):

Some massive life event.

Sevan Matossian (01:32):

Oh, am I not supposed to have that up there? I thought, did you just put that up there?

Caleb Beaver (01:35):

No, it was there when I got here.

Sevan Matossian (01:42):

God, I don’t think I’m supposed to have that up there. Oh yeah. Thank you. I think we’re doing a show with them. Shit. Shit, shit. Oh fuck.


Fuck. Hi, will. What’s up dude? How are you? Hi from the United Kingdom. Good to see you, buddy. My dad died three weeks before my 21st birthday. Yeah, it’s funny. I was actually thinking of you, Heidi. I was thinking of you. I was thinking of David. I was thinking of Jethro. I was thinking about the people who I saw this post on Instagram. It was juxtaposed with this post and this thought and just thinking about the people who have issues with this show and can’t see the fun and benevolence of the show. Is there an Instagram account called, it’s an Instagram account. That’s like a black culture Instagram account. I Oh, maybe Black Culture News. Is that the one? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this Instagram account is called Black Culture News, and there was this post on this. So this is a post, it’s a wedding photo. The wedding guest is receiving some serious backlash. I called it, I like my own post a blacklash, and then it’s this girl flipping off the camera on the end. Right?

Caleb Beaver (03:37):


Sevan Matossian (03:39):

Damn. Look at the titties in the ass. It’s crazy. That tattoo is stupid and that hair, but whatever. That’s not the point. The point is that there’s comments in, there’s comments in here where people are upset. Hundreds of comments in here, of people upset. And if you were the only, I wrote here, anyone that made a comment on this post that isn’t trying to be funny and enjoy this needs a big hefty dose of wake the fuck up and enjoy life. Maybe some mushrooms for you. And look, there’s a white guy back there. Do you see? There’s one white guy. You see him in the back right there.

Caleb Beaver (04:25):

He’s extra white. He’s got gray hair.

Sevan Matossian (04:27):

Yeah. Oh, I don’t know how to make it bigger anyway. That a white girl there, or that’s an albino black chick. I think black people are albino at 10 to one. That white people.

Caleb Beaver (04:43):


Sevan Matossian (04:46):

Oh look, you got it. Look at you.

Caleb Beaver (04:49):

One white guy. Oh, this might be a couple white chicks.

Sevan Matossian (04:54):

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Caleb Beaver (04:55):

She might be mixed.

Sevan Matossian (04:57):

Yeah, that’s like Halle Berry shit. They’re all mixed. They’re all mixed. Those are half white people. So the people who I think listen to this show and enjoy the show, they’ve dealt with some real shit. Most of ’em, I bet they don’t care. They’re just like, okay, so someone’s slipping someone off in the wedding photo. It is what it is.

Caleb Beaver (05:31):

Also, I’m pretty sure the photographer probably took a few 10 pictures out of that extras. Yeah. So there’s got to be one where she’s not doing that.

Sevan Matossian (05:41):

Shelby Neil’s adopted. There’s no fucking way. She’s black. She got red hair and blue eyes, but we’ll have her back on. We’ll do ADNA something. I don’t know how to explain it, but it me of the other day when someone was saying, well, do you hate the Lone Ranger? It’s like, dude, I have kids. Or like, dude, Hiller’s mom died. You just don’t, I’m so happy that I woke up this morning and kissed my kids. What the fuck do I care if someone flips someone off in a wedding photo? Everything in my type life is relative and in context. So it’s like people are like, wow, he’s in the Shaan. No, that’s fucking the grand fucking palace. Do you know he was fucking deployed to the desert. It’s pretty good. The Shaan is fucking a home baby. Plush. He’s done spoiled himself.

Caleb Beaver (06:38):

Big time.

Sevan Matossian (06:39):

It’s all, and you weren’t even allowed to fix up your place where you do your podcast under the bunk bed with fucking springs that give you tetanus.


It’s, it’s interesting. It’s all perspective. And I started thinking, I bet you the people who enjoy this show are people, the reason why they find this stuff funny is they’re not offended and they find the humor and enjoyment in it because they’ve actually had some real shit happen to them. They’re not protesting because fucking parking meters went up a half a cent. You know what I mean? They have a different value of life. I bet if there was some sort of metric you could put to it, Jason Yale saying Roman is done is the worst and dumbest take I’ve ever heard. If your mom died, you would fucking have a whole new perspective on that. You would’ve heard Dumber or Worse takes Seon. You are the poor man’s Joe Rogan. I don’t think he has. I think that there’s a lot of qualities he has that I don’t have. I really like the way he expresses shit.

Caleb Beaver (08:25):

How so?

Sevan Matossian (08:26):

I think he’s just really concise and he shared some incredible ideas on his show and I appreciate that, but I don’t think he’s as honest as I am. Not even close, but maybe he’s not as honest with himself or maybe he just doesn’t know. But I just keep getting stuck. Remember he endorsed Bernie Sanders, although I was very fortunate to have people like Greg around me just constantly making unfuck me and making sure that I see clearly and be able to think clearly or around the covid thing. He just couldn’t spit it out of his mouth for the longest time that like, Hey, motherfucker, that kills fat people.

Caleb Beaver (09:07):

I feel like he’s been the top of his ecosystem for a long time. He is the great Glassman of his ecosystem, so he doesn’t have anybody above him who’s telling him these things.

Sevan Matossian (09:17):

For sure. And to say it from the mountaintop to say the things from the mountaintop he’s on versus where I’m at is, I mean, you got to have a set of fucking balls. When he apologized for the fucking, those people put together a montage. Do you remember with him saying racial slurs? And I’m sure that couldn’t have been fun, but he should have been like, fuck you not, I’m sorry, you fucking asshole. Who thought that there was anything genuine about that at all? I can’t wait until someone does that to me. I started picturing myself last night. I started thinking about CrossFit again last night and what it would take to run it again. And basically the only way CrossFit will ever be successful is if someone at the top can just be like, fuck you.

Caleb Beaver (10:12):

Like Dana White.

Sevan Matossian (10:14):

Yeah, but even more so sev on, you’re misogynistic. Go fuck yourself. Get the fuck out of here. Get over to F 45, you little bitch. That’s it. I was picturing you just have to be done with the idiots. The brand is dead, but in a good way, dead. It’s like, do you remember there was those claymations sin bad fucking movies and would be, they’re old. They’re like maybe

Caleb Beaver (10:42):

Wallace and Grommet.

Sevan Matossian (10:43):

What is it

Caleb Beaver (10:44):

Like Wallace and Grommet?

Sevan Matossian (10:47):

Were those Claymation dudes? Yeah, these were like Claymation Sinbad movies and there would be skeletons on the deck of a pirate trip holding swords. That’s how I picture CrossFit being, you can’t do anything to it, and it’s just a fucking skeleton with a sword like, fuck you. We know we’re right and there’s nothing you can do to hurt us. We’re not trying to win anyone’s favor. You want to be one of us? Fine. If you don’t get the fuck out of here. And then inside, outside of that exterior, when you get in, it’s all, you know what I mean? It’s all lovey and like, Hey, we support you. We’ll help you get off the Coca-Cola and good job with that. You know what I mean? Your thruster. But on the outside it just should be fucking this. There should be no compromise. The zero, and then when you get inside, you’re like, holy shit, this is it. We’re in, everyone loves everyone here.


We’re all about living longer, healthier, supporting each other. The Deja du. If Sevan is an improved Howard Stern who fell off, obviously. Yeah, I highly admire Howard Stern and Joe Rogan. At first I was a little, I think too critical of Joe Rogan, but the Howard Stern thing, he really fucked up by, he really fucked up with the Covid thing. I mean, people probably died because of his opinions, because of his fear. He projected his fear. He made it okay. To be scared like that. You got to be careful. You have to push those things down. That’s not being authentic, by the way. Sharing your fears like that, that’s not being authentic. You can’t spread your disease. Whitney Davis. Oh, Whitney, I got your dmm and I pulled your address out. Oh, did that guy from Germany, Caleb. Oh, Caleb, you’re back. Hi, welcome back. I missed you.

Caleb Beaver (12:57):

Hi. What’s up? No, he didn’t DM me.

Sevan Matossian (13:00):

Oh. Do you know what Trump I’m talking about? So I could send him the Slack block. Okay. Josh Neils. Joe Neils at Kenosha CrossFit Blade. And Whitney, I have your Slack box sitting on my table now. It’s just a matter of God’s intervention to get them to you if those actually get to you. And I have your addresses printed out and if those actually get to you, there is a God and there will be world peace if they don’t get to you. Well, not that there’s not a God, not world peace, but man for those things to leave my kitchen table is going to be crazy. My wife’s going to have to do it.

Caleb Beaver (13:39):

You just wait a couple years, then it’ll get hand delivered to you at an event sometime.

Sevan Matossian (13:43):

Where did you go for a few days?

Caleb Beaver (13:46):

So I had guard duty, so I had to go work for a couple days. What do you mean

Sevan Matossian (13:52):

When you say guard duty? Did you have, say you have to stand in front of a club and make sure

Caleb Beaver (13:56):

People I

Sevan Matossian (13:57):


Caleb Beaver (13:58):

No, I just go to work for the Air Force for two days. Fake job stuff.

Sevan Matossian (14:03):

How long you were gone for? More than two days, I feel like.

Caleb Beaver (14:05):

Yes. And then I was gone yesterday because I started working on a project that I figured it was going to take all day. And then in the middle of the, does

Sevan Matossian (14:18):

That kill you? Do you listen to the show and does it kill you? Are you like, fuck, I wish I was there.

Caleb Beaver (14:23):

Usually I don’t listen to the show because of that, so I’ll listen to because then

Sevan Matossian (14:27):

You’re like, fuck. They’re fucking it up without me.

Caleb Beaver (14:30):

Yeah, I get a little OCD about it. But yeah, so then I started working on a project yesterday and I was trying to remove some plywood from the wall and I hit a pipe. So I was spent the whole rest of the day trying to fix the pipe.

Sevan Matossian (14:46):

What was in the pipe? What was the pipe?

Caleb Beaver (14:48):

It was just water.

Sevan Matossian (14:51):

Did you run and turn the water off? Were you frantically looking for where? Did you know where it was? Yeah. You did. No, but just annoying. It’s like two steps forward and then three steps back.

Caleb Beaver (15:00):

Exactly. And I got video of it. I forgot I was recording and I’ll share it later, but cause I’m still pissed about it. But I had Is there

Sevan Matossian (15:11):

Video footage of you breaking it?

Caleb Beaver (15:13):

Yes. Instantaneously. You see the water spray out and then I just had a four year old hissy fit about

Sevan Matossian (15:21):


Caleb Beaver (15:22):

Oh, that’s awesome.

Sevan Matossian (15:22):

The next 10 minutes. And that’s all on video?

Caleb Beaver (15:24):

Yeah. That’s awesome. I forgot I was filming. I was like, fuck, I do not want to watch

Sevan Matossian (15:28):

That. When do we get to see that?

Caleb Beaver (15:31):

When I stop wallowing in self pity. Probably once I,

Sevan Matossian (15:37):

Oh, we got a world premiere that on the show, the broken pipe. It was a pipe like this and it was in a wall.

Caleb Beaver (15:43):

It was in a wall. It was, it’s horizontal though, so I

Sevan Matossian (15:48):

You should a sledgehammer at it or?

Caleb Beaver (15:50):

No, I was using a Sawzall was trying to, I knew I was going to have this issue, so I was trying to avoid it as best I could and I ended up going too deep into the plywood and then just, I didn’t even cut it all the way through. I just nicked it. Probably just a little piece of it and then it just,

Sevan Matossian (16:13):

What’s the pipe made of?

Caleb Beaver (16:15):


Sevan Matossian (16:16):

Oh, is copper soft?

Caleb Beaver (16:20):

Is it soft metal?

Sevan Matossian (16:21):

No, I don’t think it was a soft metal.

Caleb Beaver (16:23):

No, it’s not.

Sevan Matossian (16:23):

But it just nicked it and that was enough. And was it just shooting a fucking a 20 foot? Just fucking,

Caleb Beaver (16:32):

It was like a sprinkler. It just shot out of the wall. And then what was even worse is I couldn’t, the piece of wood that I was trying to cut out away from the wall hadn’t even come off yet. So I had to reach through another piece of wall that I had cut out already to actually see if it, because I thought it was gas at first, and if it was gas, I would’ve fucking died. But then once I realized it was just water, I had to run over and shut off the water.

Sevan Matossian (17:02):

After you shut it off, because the hole is so small, does it just keep shooting water for 10 minutes and you’re like, fuck, when are you going to stop?

Caleb Beaver (17:08):

It didn’t take too long. Thankfully. It was probably another minute or two and then it finally just stopped.

Sevan Matossian (17:16):

Look, Dr. Seus says it is a soft metal. Oh,

Caleb Beaver (17:19):

There you go.

Sevan Matossian (17:22):

Rambler. It’s a thermal conductor. Thermal conductor means that you could rest your penis on a one end of a 12 foot copper pipe and then hit the other end with a hammer and you would feel the vibration in your penis

Caleb Beaver (17:37):

Close. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (17:39):

You ever had a girl rub your penis with the back of her hand instead of like this, do this, start rubbing it like this? I

Caleb Beaver (17:47):

Don’t think so. If they did, it was come complete accident.

Sevan Matossian (17:50):

Oh, I have to tell you that story.

Caleb Beaver (17:53):

I can’t wait.

Sevan Matossian (17:54):

It was a trip. I was going to get all judgy and shit for a second. Like, yo bitch, wrong side of your hand. And I was like, yo, yo. Easy. Someone’s touched your dick. Be cool. Be cool.

Caleb Beaver (18:06):

It’s happening. It’s happening.

Sevan Matossian (18:08):

Yeah, like, oh, what the fuck’s your problem, dude, relax. Oh wow. I wish Hiller would make more videos. I mean,

Caleb Beaver (18:23):

He makes hour long videos. What the hell do you want?

Sevan Matossian (18:28):

What’s crazy? You say that real Kevin is, I’ve never thought that until very, very recently. I got on the assault bike and yesterday or two days ago, and I’m like, this motherfucker hasn’t made a video and I was ready to, I needed my fix. Dude. So many people are texting me that used to not text me. What’s crazy is people text me who were mean to Greg during the Floyd 19 thing. And I struggle with it. I struggle with it. I don’t want to hate anyone.

Caleb Beaver (19:18):


Sevan Matossian (19:22):

But did you guys hear me dialing?

Caleb Beaver (19:29):


Sevan Matossian (19:29):

Okay. That means it’s going to, we should hear it ring too. Oh no. He picked Hello? Hello? Hey. Oh, that’s weird. You’re not. Oh. Oh. Hello? Shit. Hold on. Wait. Damn. Sorry, Hiller. Hold on. God, I suck. Hi. Hi. Hi. We’re on the show, but hey, do you have a video coming out?

Andrew Hiller (20:02):


Sevan Matossian (20:04):


Andrew Hiller (20:07):

Sooner I get there. What’s up?

Sevan Matossian (20:09):

Say that again. Do you have it coming out soon?

Andrew Hiller (20:15):

It should be up within an hour and a half.

Sevan Matossian (20:18):


Andrew Hiller (20:20):

Can you, is that not soon enough?

Sevan Matossian (20:21):

No, no, that’s great. I like that. Is there a topic maybe that you could share with us what it’s going to be about? A little preview.

Andrew Hiller (20:30):

CrossFit Media

Sevan Matossian (20:32):

Oh’s a favorite. Okay. Alright. Well, okay. Thank you. Some people,

Andrew Hiller (20:36):

It kind of bounces off the Koons video kind of very loosely. It’s the same kind of thread.

Sevan Matossian (20:43):

Do you introduce us to any new characters from hq?

Andrew Hiller (20:49):

I have a feeling you might know the CMO.

Sevan Matossian (20:53):

Oh, I don’t know him. I actually don’t know him, but I’ve never met him. You introduced us to the CMO, the Josh guy.

Andrew Hiller (21:04):

You know his name?

Sevan Matossian (21:05):

Oh yeah, that’s true. I do know his name. That’s correct.

Andrew Hiller (21:08):

I’m not shocked that you wouldn’t know all that much about him. He’s only been around for about 11 months.

Sevan Matossian (21:15):

He has been around that long.

Andrew Hiller (21:17):


Sevan Matossian (21:18):

Oh, I thought it was

Andrew Hiller (21:19):

So you wouldn’t know it considering he hasn’t done anything.

Sevan Matossian (21:22):

I thought it was in July. Oh, I’m starting to get an idea of what the video is going to be about.

Andrew Hiller (21:28):

Yeah, a lot of people could probably pull from that. Huh?

Sevan Matossian (21:31):

Hey, does he get the Koons treatment?

Andrew Hiller (21:37):

It’s potentially worse.

Sevan Matossian (21:38):

He gets Deon. Is it worse? He gets, wow,

Andrew Hiller (21:44):

I thought it was called getting Braced,

Sevan Matossian (21:45):

Something like that. Yeah, braced

Andrew Hiller (21:48):

Really, really the first style of video I made like this.

Sevan Matossian (21:51):

Oh my goodness. Okay.

Andrew Hiller (21:53):

Alright. It actually starts off on a high note, I think. Did you see Craig Ritchie’s most recent video?

Sevan Matossian (22:00):

I didn’t watch it, but I saw it in our text thread today. He lost a quarter of a million dollars.

Andrew Hiller (22:06):

Yeah, I kind of feel for the guy, it seems like he got boned.

Sevan Matossian (22:10):

Oh wow.

Andrew Hiller (22:12):

Yeah, so it starts off with some Craig Ritchie love and then it turns into a steaming pile of dog shit with the CMO of CrossFit.

Sevan Matossian (22:22):

Wow, okay.

Andrew Hiller (22:24):

It’ll be interesting, I think.

Sevan Matossian (22:27):

Is he a former military guy like Dave

Andrew Hiller (22:31):


Sevan Matossian (22:32):

Don Fall? Was he special forces like those two?

Andrew Hiller (22:36):

Yeah. I don’t think Don Falls is going to like me very much after this video. I’m basically telling him he is hiring some people that aren’t the best.

Sevan Matossian (22:44):

Is he pro lier and a strong American ethic with integrity and a protector of children?

Andrew Hiller (22:53):

Is that what happens when you post black squares? And I didn’t even know the orange square was a thing. I had to look up what the orange square was.

Sevan Matossian (23:00):

Oh no. I don’t know what the orange square is either. Maybe we’ll find out.

Andrew Hiller (23:03):

Well, the orange square is to do with gun rights and he doesn’t like guns. So if that goes against what it means to be an American, then I guess it doesn’t fit what you just said.

Sevan Matossian (23:15):

Love that.

Andrew Hiller (23:18):

It’s an adventure. I think you’ll like it quite a bit. I don’t know. I don’t know about everyone

Sevan Matossian (23:22):

Else. Did you just say he has a black square?

Andrew Hiller (23:26):

Yeah, he does. The whole thing about that is I just imagine the type of person that posts this sort of stuff and then what they will allow to filter through as the guy who decides everything on the media

Sevan Matossian (23:40):

And the CrossFit. Yes. Yes,

Andrew Hiller (23:43):

He is. He’s kind of the filter. He is like a filter with the grounds in and you decide what makes coffee.

Sevan Matossian (23:49):

And this

Andrew Hiller (23:50):

Dude has never done CrossFit. Never. He makes fun of people in his gym that isn’t a CrossFit gym. He posts ’em to the internet without letting him know about it. And then he posts things to Martin Luther King all over his fucking Instagram trying to say things about justice and being a proper man and all this shit. And then he posts pictures of people behind their back in the fitness space and now he’s the chief marketing guy over at a fitness company. It’s disgusting. It’s terrible.

Sevan Matossian (24:27):

Wait, I’m going to put off my, I can’t wait. It’s going to be a great, how long is it? Can I get a good assault bike session in on it?

Andrew Hiller (24:34):

I trimmed it down from 54 minutes and I’ve trimmed it in half. So it’s at 27. It’ll probably end up being like 24 minutes or so. Oh my

Caleb Beaver (24:42):

God. What do you do with the other half? Are you just going to save that for later

Andrew Hiller (24:45):

Or it just goes away? It goes away. Oh, hey Caleb.

Caleb Beaver (24:51):

Hey Hiller.

Andrew Hiller (24:54):

And as I was watching Craig’s video this morning, I was wondering if he was doing it for dramatic effect because it actually did work. I felt for him, but half of that video could be cut out.

Sevan Matossian (25:05):

Oh, oh, good. Okay, good. I made it five minutes. Same

Andrew Hiller (25:07):

Thing with the Justin Madero interview. You said that video was good the other day, that Justin Madero, Ellie Turner sit down. Crap. They were doing, it was so long and drug out. 50 minutes at Dog talk.

Sevan Matossian (25:20):

Well, that’s the thing too about, I started watching the Craig Ritchie video. I wanted to see how he lost the money. I thought that was enticing, but I don’t care

Andrew Hiller (25:32):

Whether he’s been, you’ll get that in my video. I

Sevan Matossian (25:33):

Don’t care whether he is been to Vegas or not, but I’m not hating on people who do care. But all that small talk shit I don’t give a fuck about.

Andrew Hiller (25:41):

Right, right. What are you looking up at the moment? I can’t see anything.

Sevan Matossian (25:46):

Nothing. But I just sent you a text.

Andrew Hiller (25:52):

Lemme see. It’s on there. Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (25:58):

Okay. Alright. Dude, I can’t

Andrew Hiller (26:00):

Wait. Yeah, it’s in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I, I don’t lead with it, but it’s in there.

Sevan Matossian (26:05):

Okay. Yeah, it’s good cover, right?

Andrew Hiller (26:09):

Right. Yep.

Sevan Matossian (26:09):

Alright. Alright dude, I can’t wait. I can’t wait. I can’t wait. After it goes up too, I’ll send it over to Greg and maybe I can get Greg, because Greg’s coming on the show tonight. Maybe Greg and I can talk about it. He probably has some strong opinions. Oh

Andrew Hiller (26:23):

Boy. I actually think I talk, do talk about Greg because this dude, he worked at Twitter when they purchased a company that specialized in scraping data and it was called Growl or something. I looked it up. I had to figure out what the company was. But there was a point in time where Greg shut off Facebook because he didn’t want CrossFit’s information being scraped. Correct?

Sevan Matossian (26:51):

Yeah. Well, he didn’t care. Basically what he didn’t want to do

Andrew Hiller (26:55):

Is he wanted to

Sevan Matossian (26:55):

Protect, protect the affiliates if they wanted to do it, he wanted to let them do it, but he didn’t want them doing it through hq. Yeah, he despised.

Andrew Hiller (27:03):

So where person came

Sevan Matossian (27:05):

From data from the affiliates,

Andrew Hiller (27:08):

Where this person came from that I’m making this video on made, he had an entire talk on the fact that they were doing this and Greg would’ve never allowed it based upon that fact.

Sevan Matossian (27:19):

Is he an equity hire?

Andrew Hiller (27:23):

I don’t dunno. He is a white dude. Does that mean anything?

Sevan Matossian (27:26):

I mean, is he gay?

Andrew Hiller (27:30):

He posts pictures of dudes and singlets maybe because he likes them, but it seems like he’s making fun of him.

Sevan Matossian (27:37):


Andrew Hiller (27:39):

I think it’s a Don Fall hire. I’m telling you Don won’t like this video.

Sevan Matossian (27:43):

I was talking to an executive over at, I don’t want to say which one, but let’s say it was Google, Facebook, let’s just say that between Google and Facebook this past weekend,


And they told me some fucking really, really scary shit about where these people are coming from. Really scary. I mean, if you’re white, it’s scary. I guess if you’re black, it’s scary too because it’s only a matter of time before they come for you. But basically what they would do is there’s stories where they would interview 20 people. Everyone knew person A was better, but they would choose person Z because they were black and gay and female, just straight blatant and no one cared. No one hit. It’s just open war on people who look like you and Caleb. I’m fucking six months away. Six months away from looking like an Arab getting fucking,

Caleb Beaver (28:35):

What’s it like being bald hill? Do you like not having to deal with your hair all the time?

Andrew Hiller (28:40):

It’s really nice because the only part of my body that I would use soap on when I would shower would be I would shampoo my hair twice a week. And now I don’t even have to do that. So that’s kind of nice. But I’ve done this probably five or six times in my life. I just buzz it every once in a while.

Sevan Matossian (28:56):

I’m ready to buzz my hair.

Andrew Hiller (28:59):

Yeah, I don’t know if the show would have a good look if it’s me, you and Caleb all with Buzz Headss. It’d be weird looking

Sevan Matossian (29:10):

Asum. I’ll convert to Muslim if I do it so that we get a little street cred.

Caleb Beaver (29:17):

Got to wear a turban though. Did

Sevan Matossian (29:21):

You see this kid in Sandy? It’s not important. Okay, good. Get back to work. I can’t wait to see the video. Thank you. Someone’s going to get Koon today.

Andrew Hiller (29:27):

Okay. No, Bryce, Bryce, Bryce. Bryce, Bryce.

Sevan Matossian (29:31):

I like Koon better.

Andrew Hiller (29:33):


Sevan Matossian (29:34):

It feels racist.

Andrew Hiller (29:36):

Oh geez.

Sevan Matossian (29:37):

Okay. Bye

Andrew Hiller (29:39):

All. Bye.

Sevan Matossian (29:43):

Anyway. I’m okay with this photo and I understand if it’s your photo and you’re like Jesus Christ. But listen, everyone’s going to remember that photo now a week after you take that photo. No one remembers shit about your wedding except that now you’re going to be.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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