KT #25 | $1000 For ONE Workout

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

Welcome to the greatest show on the internet featuring Taylor Self from Sentinel Training, the fittest man on planet

Taylor Self (00:07):

Earth. My name is Taylor Self and I program Sentinel training. I don’t delegate, I don’t farm it out. I write the workouts. I do the workouts. I use my seven years of experience coaching and an affiliate along with my deep and ever-growing understanding of the methodology to put together an always challenging and rewarding, often humbling program to make you better. I want to help people and nothing else. Help people move better, train better, compete better, live better legacy comes later. Live now live Better. Train Sentinel.

Sevan Matossian (00:41):

That was awesome. You can have Taylor Self, you can have access to Taylor Self through Sentinel training and of course his sidekick Bryson Del Monte,

Tyler Watkins (00:55):

Level three coach.

Sevan Matossian (00:57):

Wow. Someone tried to FaceTime my work phone too. That’s funny. Twice damn early FaceTimes for you.

Tyler Watkins (01:03):

Wow. Try getting three in a row from the same person.

Sevan Matossian (01:06):

Wow. Someone tried to FaceTime me the other morning at six 30 in the morning when I was naked on the couch sipping my coffee. Perfect time. That’s my big old meat stick hanging out the workout. I didn’t answer it. That would’ve been completely inappropriate. I don’t know. They called you dude workout. I don’t even know how to read this. Will you read this for me? Andrew Hiller? I don’t even

Tyler Watkins (01:27):

Know. Two sets, two minutes out, one minute off. 15 dual kettle bell clean it jerk, hundred foot kettle bell, front rack walking lunge and then he is going to accumulate as many box burpee box, get overs at 48 inches as he can in the remaining time. Within that two minutes, the

Sevan Matossian (01:42):

Name of the cookout is, fuck you, Colton, 48 inches.

Tyler Watkins (01:46):

He’s had like two separate buy-ins into that burpee box. Get over for reps.

Sevan Matossian (01:50):

So wait a second, so for two minutes you do the kettlebells and the walking front rack twice and then whatever time you have leftover, you do burpees over a 48 inch box and then you rest ’em in it

Matthew Souza (02:04):

Almost there.

Sevan Matossian (02:06):

That’s not

Matthew Souza (02:06):

Right.

Tyler Watkins (02:07):

That’s how I read it.

Matthew Souza (02:09):

I thought it was two sets. It’s not two rounds of 15 kettlebell clean jerks in the front rack. It’s one set of the kettlebell clean rack,

Tyler Watkins (02:16):

No

Matthew Souza (02:17):

Kettlebell cleaning jerks. The front, the lunge and then within the leftover time of the two minutes you do the burpees get overs.

Tyler Watkins (02:24):

Two minutes. Correct.

Matthew Souza (02:27):

Okay, that’s fine. Thank Damn.

Sevan Matossian (02:29):

Please tell me what it is. Tell me what the workout is then.

Matthew Souza (02:32):

So you do in a two minute window, you do your 15 kettlebell clean and jerks.

Sevan Matossian (02:38):

You

Matthew Souza (02:38):

Do the kettlebell front rack walking lunch

Sevan Matossian (02:40):

And

Matthew Souza (02:40):

Whatever time you have leftover in the two minutes, you do as many of the burpee box get overs in the remaining two minute time. Then he’s going to rest for one minute and then he’s going to do it again. I’m guessing the score is going to be the total number of bur. That’s

Tyler Watkins (02:53):

Exactly what I said.

Matthew Souza (02:55):

Hence sets instead of round.

Sevan Matossian (02:57):

Hence the word rounds.

Tyler Watkins (03:01):

Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (03:01):

Taylor’s

Tyler Watkins (03:01):

Ready. Okay. I was totally waiting for you to say something I didn’t say and I’m like, nope, that’s the same

Sevan Matossian (03:06):

$1,000 today. Ladies and gentlemen, start your bonus

Tyler Watkins (03:16):

Already. Pre revved. Let’s go.

Sevan Matossian (03:18):

Pre owners. Got to do sponsor. Ready when you are Delmonte Susie. Alright, going in 10 seconds. This the second.

Tyler Watkins (03:29):

Both jerks.

Andrew Hiller (03:30):

3, 2, 1,

Sevan Matossian (03:33):

Go. Tyler, Washington from the heat one app will be on. Oh,

Tyler Watkins (03:36):

Look at that. He did the first one from a hang.

Sevan Matossian (03:42):

Oh, so there’s a hang clean and jerks.

Tyler Watkins (03:44):

I think this is always a debate I have that you should say it’s hang, kettlebell, clean and jerks.

Matthew Souza (03:50):

Yeah, I would say it’s hang. We have kettlebell ones or snatches of these in the, no,

Tyler Watkins (03:55):

I disagree with that, but he probably should have made a hissy fit about the first one being a hang because generally you can do whatever you want with the first one from the ground. I just don’t think it’s obvious that it’s from the hang.

Matthew Souza (04:09):

Yeah. How

Tyler Watkins (04:11):

Is that you have parallel when

Sevan Matossian (04:14):

First

Tyler Watkins (04:15):

Split 37 seconds. I’ve done kettlebell snatches from the Yeah, kettlebell snatches from the floor. I bet you look like a freaking moron.

Sevan Matossian (04:25):

9 2 8 5 8 3 3 9 0 3 send a link and you can go up against Taylor to try to win the thousand dollars. The weight on the kettlebells is

Matthew Souza (04:34):

53.

Sevan Matossian (04:36):

Each of those is 53.

Matthew Souza (04:37):

Yeah. Hot damn. He made that look really easy, right? Is that what you’re going to say with the clean and jerk?

Tyler Watkins (04:43):

This is like argue with CrossFitters about where the dumbbell bench press starts and if you come from it starts at the top. Why? Because one time Adrian Bosman said so like, oh my god. Now

Matthew Souza (04:55):

When did it

Tyler Watkins (04:55):

Start at the press? It always starts at the top. 1 23.

Sevan Matossian (05:01):

Exciting news coming from sentinel training. There will be an ebook released very shortly, but in the meantime while you wait there is a 12 week first strict pull up program available and the reviews are coming in and they’re nothing but five star glowing reviews. What was the first split time when he finished the 1 23? 1 23 5

Tyler Watkins (05:22):

Burpees.

Sevan Matossian (05:23):

Right, so the score is the total number of burpees between both rounds I’m guessing.

Tyler Watkins (05:28):

Is that seven reps? This is going to be his eighth. Eight. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (05:32):

One more. One more.

Tyler Watkins (05:35):

He doesn’t want to out very hard today I don’t think.

Matthew Souza (05:38):

I don’t know. I think the work that needs to be done before the burpees is a lot harder than he just made that look. I’m Bryson, what the fuck? I could make

Tyler Watkins (05:48):

That much easier. Yeah, you’re right. He got eight reps. Kettlebell swings from the ground every time and it shows. Yeah. Where’s the kettlebell swing from?

Sevan Matossian (05:56):

Hey Bryson, what’s going? It’s a kettlebell swing. That’s different. Why didn’t he do an extra burpee? There was no time for an extra one. Oh, please fuck him up, Bryson. Oh please. 30 seconds and we go again. Who are the 10 best CrossFitters in the world? We will be telling you very soon. Maybe it’ll be a show tonight. The 10 best all time. What a cool sport that we can mix the vagina with the penis. It’ll be a comprehensive list. Here we go. Second round. Taylor, sell from Sentinel training. Sign up for your 14 day free trial. Use QR code in the middle. You can beat Colton. No sorry, thousand dollars of you can beat Taylor today.

Tyler Watkins (06:36):

No rep. You’re burning hell for that. No rep.

Sevan Matossian (06:38):

That’s a rep.

Tyler Watkins (06:39):

How does no rep, he’s not ing the ground every time. The beauty of Taylor starting is he makes up the rules every time from the go. Actually Stevon, you can mix. All sports are now mixed. Penis. Vagina.

Sevan Matossian (06:52):

Thank you. Thank you. That’s how you get babies too. Thank you. Thank you Science.

Tyler Watkins (06:58):

Kevin. She couldn’t get over the box. Dude,

Sevan Matossian (07:01):

What did Kevin say?

Tyler Watkins (07:02):

He said sporty. Beth would beat me on this. She wouldn’t be able to get one time over the box if she could get there in two minutes.

Matthew Souza (07:08):

Dude, she would just

Sevan Matossian (07:08):

Roll over the box. She sounds scared to

Tyler Watkins (07:10):

Me dude. 30

Matthew Souza (07:12):

Seconds. She’s doing that new cardio program.

Tyler Watkins (07:16):

Yeah, she just did a two minute un broken run for the first time.

Sevan Matossian (07:19):

Oh, that was 37 again?

Tyler Watkins (07:21):

Yep. 36, 37. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (07:23):

Okay. Pretty dang inconsistent. It is. How many kettlebell?

Tyler Watkins (07:29):

15.

Sevan Matossian (07:30):

15 of those and then a hundred feet walking lunge.

Tyler Watkins (07:34):

What’s the easiest workout he’s ever done on this show

Sevan Matossian (07:37):

By far? Kettle balls. Kettle balls.

Tyler Watkins (07:39):

Tyler and I are looking at it and yeah, we could do this.

Sevan Matossian (07:42):

No

Tyler Watkins (07:42):

Problem. Four rounds of this would

Sevan Matossian (07:44):

Suck. Aaron Frazier, my favorite sport is mixing the penis in the vagina. Oh, mixing. Aaron, you mix the penis. Here we go. Here we go. He got eight on the last round. Will he beat that?

Tyler Watkins (07:58):

Yes. He has three seconds over his last round, so I hope he gets one more. Finally. He’s going fast.

Matthew Souza (08:05):

I am surprised there. There is only two sets of this too. Has

Tyler Watkins (08:08):

He got vans on?

Matthew Souza (08:10):

Yeah, but they look like sneakers.

Tyler Watkins (08:12):

God damnit. cj that was decent. Six.

Matthew Souza (08:19):

What’d you say? But they look like sneakers. Yeah, it’s a song. I made those shoes exponentially more popular. The younger generation back in the

Tyler Watkins (08:27):

Day. Oh, he is got time for a 10, nine go. Yep, he’s got it. That’s it though. Good. 10, so 18 total reps. It’s the easiest workout he’s ever done on this show.

Sevan Matossian (08:38):

One a thousand dollars. He doesn’t look like it was easy. People, it doesn’t

Tyler Watkins (08:42):

Tell would smoke him on this.

Sevan Matossian (08:45):

Frank, no. Junior, no. Whatever your name is. Thanks for the coverage dudes. I’m down 35 pounds in two months following the methodology and the specific dialing in of my nutrition. I keep doing the good work and I’ll be signing up for Sentinel training right after the show knowing it is the best CrossFit program in the space. That’s awesome. Damn. He wrote

Tyler Watkins (09:04):

All 35. Ain’t no joke.

Sevan Matossian (09:06):

Yeah, yeah, that’s good work. Congrats dude.

Tyler Watkins (09:09):

I always hold up a bumper plate when I see you numbers like that. It’s like damn.

Matthew Souza (09:14):

Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (09:15):

Yeah. That’s a bag of dog food. Hell yeah. Of the cheap shit.

Tyler Watkins (09:21):

This lady at my two this morning, I noticed that she lost weight but I always feel weird commenting on if somebody lost weight but she had lost 20 pounds and that’s what she said. She was like, yeah, I just started doing what CrossFit says about food and I was like, wow.

Sevan Matossian (09:35):

Hey, walk up to her and be like, man, you look fuckable now. That’s the way. That’s how you do it. That’s how they do it. CrossFit Livermore,

Matthew Souza (09:45):

Right? We lead with

Sevan Matossian (09:46):

Empathy.

Matthew Souza (09:51):

What? They got a hand truck back there. What are they? Hand trucking.

Tyler Watkins (09:54):

You got to keep a dolly on hand, bro. That’s how they get out of the gym. Oh.

Matthew Souza (09:59):

Oh. Bryon just showed me. Didn’t have, that’s how they move those jerk boxes with that hand truck. I thought it was, I thought it was

Sevan Matossian (10:08):

Compliance. Caleb Beaver’s in the house. Caleb had to drive his wife to the airport. All I thought when he said, Hey, I’ll be a little late. I’m driving. My wife was to the airport. Was that he got a piece last night. That’s all I thought I translated that. Oh, he got a piece last night. Fair enough. Total reps is 18 Burpees a very easy workout to do. It’s just some kettlebell jerks and then some lunges with the same kettlebells. You don’t even have to put ’em down and then you jump over a box doing burpees and then that’s your score in two minutes. You rest a minute, you do it again. You add up to total burpees. You win a thousand bucks. If you can do more than 18 burpees. Easy peasy. Some people

Matthew Souza (10:58):

Go ahead. I was going to say some people were saying this workout is privileged.

Taylor Self (11:02):

Definitely. It sure is.

Matthew Souza (11:03):

You got to own a pair of drift

Sevan Matossian (11:05):

Boxes to do it. Let me go through. Can Hans beat him at this?

Tyler Watkins (11:09):

It’s going to be hard to beat him. The cycle rate time is so long on all these movements. It’s just you’re going to have to really be on your horse to even have a chance.

Sevan Matossian (11:18):

Can Gabby McGaw will beat him on this?

Tyler Watkins (11:20):

Absolutely not. Unless it gives you eight inches.

Sevan Matossian (11:22):

There’s no female weights. Well, it’s been a few months since she’s gotten eight inches

Tyler Watkins (11:31):

Forever.

Sevan Matossian (11:33):

Damn. Never gotten more than four. Can Matthias Porter beat him on this?

Tyler Watkins (11:42):

Hans is more likely than Matthias. I like Taylor’s pressing ability

Sevan Matossian (11:46):

Better. We’ve that other guy who’s won a few times. Matthew this shirt

Matthew Souza (11:51):

From his gym.

Sevan Matossian (11:52):

Can Matthew beat him this?

Matthew Souza (11:56):

No, no, no, no.

Sevan Matossian (11:58):

Can the pig farmer beat him on this?

Matthew Souza (12:02):

No. Don’t. Don’t

Sevan Matossian (12:03):

Colton even do one burpee. Can Colton even make it over the 40 inch box once

Matthew Souza (12:07):

Privileged,

Tyler Watkins (12:08):

The things that Taylor will program to try to mitigate Colton are going through distances and going over or up objects.

Sevan Matossian (12:15):

What do you mean distance? Give me the distance thing so

Tyler Watkins (12:17):

He’s got 50 feet to lunge and Taylor has an advantage the further it gets right. It’s similar to a mile run. He has an advantage because he’s got to traverse it and his limbs are longer per stride.

Sevan Matossian (12:28):

Okay. I like it.

Tyler Watkins (12:29):

And then he’s got to go over something and that also plays advantage or upper rope and that plays same advantage.

Sevan Matossian (12:36):

$1,000 as Col likes to say, range of motion. Would Sam dancer or beat him? No. No. He’d be injured during the rest. Gas out during the clean jerks scooter. The super hog. Magna beat him.

Tyler Watkins (12:51):

He could Super hog. He totally could.

Sevan Matossian (12:54):

That box. Yeah. He’s got the

Tyler Watkins (12:55):

Weight thrown around You just throw that thing over and it’ll pull you over.

Matthew Souza (13:00):

Works

Tyler Watkins (13:00):

Like a slightly. I think Daniel Brandon could beat him honestly.

Matthew Souza (13:02):

Oh, that’s as someone just asked if Daniel Brandon would call in. She is. She’s

Sevan Matossian (13:06):

For sure calling

Tyler Watkins (13:07):

In. She should.

Sevan Matossian (13:09):

Yeah. She could make it over the box. She could probably do the box overs faster than Taylor.

Tyler Watkins (13:12):

Right. Taylor drinking his sugar for the day.

Sevan Matossian (13:15):

Nice. I

Matthew Souza (13:16):

Wonder why he didn’t get any holy balls.

Sevan Matossian (13:18):

Can you get your malto dextrin today?

Tyler Watkins (13:21):

We should get some of that tanning stuff that bodybuilders use and just put it on Taylor just to see what he would look like. Trump, it’s not black.

Andrew Hiller (13:31):

I would like Chandler Smith if I put tanning on.

Tyler Watkins (13:34):

No Little more Jack maybe than him.

Sevan Matossian (13:40):

Stay salty. Alright ladies and gentlemen, if you have someone at your affiliate who needs a strict pullup, there is a 12 week program available from Sentinel Training. Two people have already reported back to me that they got their first Pullup, first strict pullup using the program. Taylor’s getting a ton of great feedback on it. Also ebook coming out very shortly and you can use the QR code in the center to sign up for a two week free trial of Sentinel training. As you know, Taylor is very involved, very passionate. You don’t fuck around.

Tyler Watkins (14:18):

Brian Slow would absolutely not beat Taylor in this. I don’t think Brian as law could win anything.

Andrew Hiller (14:23):

We’re the only training staffed entirely by level three trainers. Stevon

Sevan Matossian (14:27):

Only. Yeah. Wow. The only program entirely staffed by level three trainers

Andrew Hiller (14:31):

In Charlotte, staff of two. No.

Sevan Matossian (14:33):

In the world you fuck and if you’re scared and if you’re scared of Taylor, you can interface with Bryce and Del Monte or Lizzie. 13 years he was a cast member on Sesame Street.

Tyler Watkins (14:48):

That’s part of that commercial. Taylor is how you started off with saying, I don’t outsource my programming.

Sevan Matossian (14:55):

All people are welcome. Trans whites, blacks, gays, dwarves, all the big programs are made in China. Kamala voters, Kamala supporters, everyone is welcome to fentanyl training. He will get anyone fit. I will let you know though, if you do do sentinel training, you could be accidentally red pilled. It will make you more capable, which will lead to more personal accountability and responsibility that’s making it so you don’t lean on big daddy state.

Andrew Hiller (15:24):

Holy fuck.

Sevan Matossian (15:25):

Hey Susa. That book Wealth and Poverty that Greg recommended is absolutely fucking incredible. I was thinking about all the people who are endorsing Trump and they’re all people who didn’t climb existing mountains, but people who built their own mountain and climbed it. You know what I mean? The eons, the Jake Pauls, it’s all people who built, they’re all creators, they’re all creative people. It’s funny, you always get this thing that the left is the creative ones, but in the business world, all the creative people who actually bring growth to the economy, it’s all the people on the right and they’re people who aren’t created by the establishment to work as cogs in the existing establishment. It’s all stuff you’ve told me before, but what a great book. Wealth and Poverty, amazing

Andrew Hiller (16:08):

Book

Sevan Matossian (16:09):

Producers.

Andrew Hiller (16:10):

Does the trial include the strict pull program? No, that’s separate. It’s 25 bucks and it’s just a one time three month program,

Sevan Matossian (16:18):

But ques, I will tell you this, your profile pictures, your backside not showing your ass and you will be proud to show your ass if you do do sentinel training. One of the byproducts is a larger,

Andrew Hiller (16:28):

Oh Jesus. What about Shane Robinson’s question. This is a good question for everyone on the panel. Shane Robinson, does Taylor think having an L three trumps having a PhD and master’s in science and exercise physiology?

Tyler Watkins (16:43):

Yes, physiology. My wife has both of those a hundred percent. She has an L three N. She doesn’t have an L three.

Andrew Hiller (16:51):

I don’t think an L three

Tyler Watkins (16:52):

Trump it. She has a PhD and a master’s in,

Andrew Hiller (16:55):

I don’t think just an L three trumps it. I think there is a certain threshold of practical experience in the affiliate that I think trumps it. I think any level four trainer, their experience helping people get healthier and moving better in coaching, definitely Trumps, I mean it’s what are you going to use it for? It’s it’s

Tyler Watkins (17:15):

Context dependent,

Andrew Hiller (17:16):

Right? Does having a level four versus having a PhD in MS for coaching CrossFit level four is way better for coaching any movement? I would say level four is way better for doing research studies and jerking off onto a computer screen. Probably PhD in MS and masters. Master’s in sciences.

Tyler Watkins (17:35):

I’m pretty good at that

Sevan Matossian (17:36):

And I don’t even have a PhD. When I was on the road I met, it pops in my head right away, four distinct head of strength and conditioning programs at division one schools. They didn’t have their PhDs but they had their degrees in exercise physiology and all of them said, holy shit. I learned more in two days at my level one than I learned all four years at fucking college.

Andrew Hiller (17:59):

It seems like I

Sevan Matossian (18:00):

Couldn’t even fucking believe it. They’re like, this is fucking nuts.

Andrew Hiller (18:03):

It seems like in school for exercise science and exercise physiology so much, what does me knowing the way a TP interacts with the cell change how I get the person who walks in my affiliate who’s 300 pounds to go to 200 pounds. Hey, I just need to know how to teach them good habits, what to eat and to get them to continue coming back. I don’t need to understand all that stuff at a micro level. It helps in some contexts, but in a way I feel like those degrees, one, they’re a fuck ton of money. Two, there’s so much that you learn that is just theory and how many people in that classroom are out there practicing it every day and seeing what actually works and what actually doesn’t work with everyday people every single day.

Tyler Watkins (18:47):

One of the big pivots that I’m seeing in the school is that one of the first moves they do with research assistants is they make ’em start coaching, so instead of them graduating with no experience, they’re actually putting ’em in classes. Now

Matthew Souza (19:00):

It’s, it’s not CrossFit classes, but it’s exercise classes did all of it. None of it matters. I’ll take the person with 10,000 hours of training underneath their belt that’s been on the floor for 25 hours every single week for the last 11 years. That’s worked from everybody with a kid with severe autism to an old person that could barely get up off the couch. You give me that individual and you could keep all your fucking paperwork in your degrees.

Sevan Matossian (19:23):

There was a guy filmed with at a division one school, he was the head strength and conditioning coach for a wrestling team at the division one school and the first year they implemented CrossFit. They won the national championships and there’s also a guy, the guy who won the first super heavyweight championships in Brazil as a white guy going down to Brazil and Brazilian juujitsu. He was always taking second place. He started doing CrossFit. He won the very following year. There’s endless stories like that.

Andrew Hiller (19:52):

Yeah. I was the kid with severe autism thousand,

Sevan Matossian (19:59):

Thousand bucks. All you have to do kettlebell swings, some kettlebell swings, some lunges and some burpees. It’s just four minutes of working out. It’s pretty easy. Hey Taylor, they were saying this is the easiest workout you’ve ever programmed, but when you were done it didn’t look easy.

Andrew Hiller (20:14):

No. After the first interval I was like, all right, but I knew there’s really three places that you have to do a particular thing to win the workout or do the best. You have to do the kettlebell, clean jerks, unbroken and fast. They can’t get slow. You can’t rest overhead. You can’t lower ’em to the shoulder. Then back into the hang. You have to step through all of your lunges and try to go fast through the peanut butter, which I felt a little bit on the back half lunge in the first round and I felt the whole way on the second round of lunging and then I felt like you had to have a better split on the second round. I had to get the same. I had to basically have the same time and I had to do enough on the first round to where it would set me up in a good position for the second round, but not so much that I was useless on the second interval and then on the second interval I had to jump up and jump down on the burpees as fast as I could so I

Sevan Matossian (21:10):

Could Anybody who’s Vaxxed beat you?

Andrew Hiller (21:13):

Well, I would say there’s probably a couple Canadians that could beat me and they’re all Vaxxed.

Sevan Matossian (21:18):

Oh, Sprague. No, there’s no way. James Prague is Vaxxed though. Yeah, he’s not beating me. Maybe he’ll hear this in Fraser, Annie Crin, Justin, pat, Brent, Ben Smith, Sam Brigg. Wow. That’s your list, huh? Of what? 10. Best of all time. I want to do a show. 10 best CrossFitters of all time. You think Sam Briggs is on the list ahead of Laura Hoback.

Andrew Hiller (21:44):

Daniel Boone energy is not capable of hurting more than me in a workout. Daniel Boone. Yeah. Well dare how dare. I made that post hashtag DBE and everyone thought I was talking about Daniel Brandon, but I was talking about Daniel Boone. I was talking about Daniel Boone and is colonization of indigenous peoples. You guys, I can’t even believe for one second that I can’t even believe for one second that you would think that my story had anything to do with Danielle Brandon. It’s just ridiculous. It wasn’t even about her.

Sevan Matossian (22:13):

Here’s the thing. Daniel had really good long, he’s really good. Four or five day workouts that traverse. He’s more of a high rocks athlete.

Tyler Watkins (22:21):

Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (22:21):

He’s more of an,

Tyler Watkins (22:22):

He’s actually

Sevan Matossian (22:23):

Ultra-marathon runner than a, he’s more of a practical games kind of guy.

Tyler Watkins (22:29):

He ran from Ohio to southeastern Kentucky in three days without

Sevan Matossian (22:34):

Shoes. No

Tyler Watkins (22:35):

Shit really?

Sevan Matossian (22:36):

But he wore that cool hat.

Tyler Watkins (22:37):

Yeah, that’s what got it.

Sevan Matossian (22:42):

Okay. A thousand bucks people. Wow. This is the first morning ever

Andrew Hiller (22:46):

And this is actually the first episode that if no one calls and it beats me, I get all the money. Oh, that’s awesome. Let’s kidding. Just kidding. I wish. Hey, did you get those holy balls? You get the little protein balls? I never got Holy balls, bro.

Matthew Souza (22:59):

Dude, they got sent to the gym.

Andrew Hiller (23:01):

Oh, I have the holy, if they’re in the mailbox, they’re probably already expired because Andy doesn’t fucking check that thing. What are they?

Matthew Souza (23:06):

Damn it.

Sevan Matossian (23:07):

They’re so good. They’re crazy good.

Andrew Hiller (23:10):

Was that supposed to be our sponsor?

Matthew Souza (23:11):

Yeah, the guy Nick wants to sponsor the show. A couple of ’em. I think

Sevan Matossian (23:17):

I should have my wife bring in the holy balls. Let me see if I can text her. Can you bring in the holy balls?

Andrew Hiller (23:21):

I don’t think they go.

Sevan Matossian (23:22):

I don’t if they

Matthew Souza (23:23):

Go bad.

Andrew Hiller (23:23):

I actually think Coach L just took this workout now and he is going to call it Coach L’s workout and he’s going to give it to all of his athletes. I think that’s what I heard

Tyler Watkins (23:33):

That the most creative thing I’ve ever heard you say.

Andrew Hiller (23:34):

Thank you, brother. That’s crazy. He’s workout farming, workout, farming. He’s been farming workouts for a long time, brother.

Sevan Matossian (23:41):

Hey, I love it how Taylor calls me and goes, Hey, I’m done with that shit and then No,

Andrew Hiller (23:47):

No, no. I said I’m done. Uselessly engaging. This is a comedy show, so I’m going to take shots here.

Sevan Matossian (23:55):

You’re not letting any good material go to waste.

Andrew Hiller (23:57):

Fuck no, but I’m not going to fucking step outside my lane like I did. That was crazy, dude. I got way out of control.

Sevan Matossian (24:02):

Hey, did you hear my eulogy for Perkowski the other day on the show?

Andrew Hiller (24:07):

I don’t even want to talk about him. He can’t say the word CrossFit. I’m not going to say the word Phi Kowski. I’m never going to say his name again.

Sevan Matossian (24:13):

I had never go back and watch my shows, but I’m so tempted to go back and watch my eulogy.

Tyler Watkins (24:18):

Definition of a eulogy is a speech or piece of writing that brings someone or something highly typically of someone who has just died. Yeah, it was amazing. You keep

Andrew Hiller (24:27):

Saying

Sevan Matossian (24:27):

UG 1000 bucks. This is crazy. No one calling in training easy workout easy. Hey, did you guys

Andrew Hiller (24:38):

Pull out my website

Tyler Watkins (24:39):

Notes?

Andrew Hiller (24:40):

No, we haven’t

Tyler Watkins (24:41):

Pulled that. I heard it was made by a kindergartner.

Andrew Hiller (24:43):

It was made by a kindergartner with autism.

Tyler Watkins (24:46):

I heard it looks great.

Andrew Hiller (24:48):

Functions properly. Yeah. I’m from Susan’s coach that

Sevan Matossian (24:55):

Damn, you beat me Caleb. Damn. Damn. Damn. Sentinel training 14 day free trial. What autism camp will do

Tyler Watkins (25:03):

For you?

Andrew Hiller (25:03):

I do have to put a link to the strict pull-up program on here.

Tyler Watkins (25:08):

This right here is my favorite part of the whole website

Andrew Hiller (25:10):

And I’m about to update that. The CrossFit level four trainer. I’m going to have my evaluation soon.

Matthew Souza (25:17):

Do you have to go somewhere for that?

Andrew Hiller (25:18):

Apparently, I didn’t know this, but apparently you can pay a little extra to have them do the evaluation at your affiliate, but I’m too nervous to do that because I feel like my worst characteristic as a coach is complacency with my own people and if I go somewhere new, I feel like I’m on fricking, I feel like I’m on 30 pills of Vyvanse. I’m just like ready to go. I’m queuing everybody. I’m on it, but sometimes I get complacent here and I don’t want to have any bit of complacency during this.

Tyler Watkins (25:44):

Yeah, by video,

Andrew Hiller (25:46):

That fair law, is that fair? Use rights fill what I did. Me putting your, no, you’re good.

Sevan Matossian (25:52):

Oh, okay. David, we did your dog make the website.

Andrew Hiller (25:55):

Taylor. Oh, David Weed. I’m not responding to this guy either. This guy’s a fucking douche.

Tyler Watkins (26:03):

You have a dog, Taylor?

Andrew Hiller (26:04):

I do. I have two.

Sevan Matossian (26:07):

They tag.

Tyler Watkins (26:08):

I’ve only seen Bryson’s dog,

Sevan Matossian (26:09):

Eaton Beaver. Do you want the surgeon that’s done the surgery successfully 1000 times or do you want the valid torian of the class that’s only done handful of

Andrew Hiller (26:20):

Times.

Sevan Matossian (26:22):

There you go.

Andrew Hiller (26:23):

The problem with that metaphor is that both surgeons have a degree and I only have an A Associates from Guy from ITT Tech, bro.

Sevan Matossian (26:36):

Alright, we will give you guys 30 more seconds.

Andrew Hiller (26:39):

This is crazy. No, dude, we’re staying on the show. It’s a fucking hour show, bro. We’re not getting out of here. I say you could play one of those affiliate commercials, one of the new ones. Oh

Sevan Matossian (26:46):

Yeah. I adler over Ben Smith in the top 10 of all time. What Adler over

Matthew Souza (26:52):

Ben

Sevan Matossian (26:52):

Smith. I would

Andrew Hiller (26:54):

Not only is Adler not better than Ben Smith. He doesn’t move better than Ben Smith. He’s not cooler than Ben Smith. He

Tyler Watkins (27:01):

Does have a factor

Andrew Hiller (27:02):

And people and people don’t love him as much as they love Ben Smith. Ben Smith taught my mom how to do a snatch dude in a class.

Sevan Matossian (27:09):

Yeah,

Andrew Hiller (27:10):

That’s fucking cool. Ben’s a man.

Sevan Matossian (27:12):

Wow. As we get through this, someone just said something very interesting. They said there should be no women on the

Matthew Souza (27:21):

Top 10.

Sevan Matossian (27:22):

On the top 10.

Matthew Souza (27:23):

Who said that? That’s stupid. That is dumb.

Sevan Matossian (27:26):

How? You’re not going to put Tia

Matthew Souza (27:28):

On that top 10 list.

Sevan Matossian (27:29):

I don’t know. That’s an interesting take. Is TIA better than an Kai?

Tyler Watkins (27:35):

Yeah, slightly. Just barely.

Sevan Matossian (27:38):

How many wins does an Nola Kai have in the games? Can Enola Kai beat Tia, Claire Tomi in the pick any year? Let’s pick 2024 CrossFit games using the women’s weight.

Matthew Souza (27:51):

I mean, that’s a weird comparison for the top 10 then, right? Hey man,

Tyler Watkins (27:56):

If we do this freaking show, you got to define your terms because over here

Matthew Souza (28:00):

What is best?

Tyler Watkins (28:01):

He taught my mom how to snatch and I’m like, how the fuck does that mean is a better?

Matthew Souza (28:06):

I don’t know, but that gave him points in my book. That’s for sure.

Tyler Watkins (28:10):

This is the argument that John and I get into because we play by different rules on what best is. I saw Rich Froning do a snatch workout in 2014 and that makes him the best games athlete, him and

Matthew Souza (28:21):

Dan face to face inside.

Andrew Hiller (28:22):

But here’s the thing, I think there are workouts that Ben has done. There’s workouts that Matt have done. There’s workouts that Rich have done that still hold up right now. I don’t think anyone would beat them in them.

Tyler Watkins (28:32):

I know you say that about the 2012 workout, and I agree with that point. That’s good

Andrew Hiller (28:37):

That Chipper watching him do that. I’m like, oh, Bryson can beat that. He may just made it look so easy. It was like everything was so smooth and Bryson was like, yeah, I watched your back dude, and I don’t think there’s any place in that workout to go any faster. And I’m like, damn. If that’s the case, you’re nowhere nearest strong as rich, so you’re fucked. Workout three minutes slower. Hey, didn’t Bridges do it? Didn’t Bridges do it at HQ later that year and beat his time? Did he squat to depth on a single rep? Doubt it. Did he lock out any of his thrusters? Doubt it. Four muscle ups. Doubt it. Damn.

Sevan Matossian (29:10):

I think when you compare the tent, when you’re compiling the list, you have to do some sort of, however you do it in your hair, in your head, that levels the playing field, however that is. You know what I mean? You have to be like, okay, if Matt Fraser and Tia Tomi were the same sex, who would be better? You have to do some sort of conversion in your head. You can’t just be like, thank you, here’s my balls. My wife brought me my balls. Thank you, honey.

Tyler Watkins (29:41):

Interesting.

Andrew Hiller (29:42):

I

Tyler Watkins (29:42):

Still don’t know what the

Sevan Matossian (29:43):

Hell they are.

Andrew Hiller (29:44):

Holy.

Tyler Watkins (29:45):

Are they protein?

Andrew Hiller (29:46):

They’re like protein balls. They’re bowl testicles. You can leave it open a little bull

Tyler Watkins (29:50):

Testicles. What flavor? Like chocolate.

Matthew Souza (29:53):

They’re peanut

Tyler Watkins (29:54):

Butter. Like an oat.

Matthew Souza (29:57):

There’s maple. There’s maple Peanut butter.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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