Jethro Cardona | CrossFit Chief Nation | Affiliate Series

Sevan Matossian (00:01):

Bam. We are live, oh my goodness. Day after Thanksgiving, November 24th, the day after Thanksgiving, 7:00 AM seven. Oh, one minute late. Still getting dressed. Perks of the job. Headphones are always on backwards. This cord should be on this side the way these headphones are designed, but since my trusty road caster is over here, I wear the headphones backwards. I guess a lot of fancier headsets these days have it so you can adjust the cord to either side, not mine. Reset the phone. Oh, I love resetting the phone. Anyone get a pair of Savage ones? I say that because I already got a DMM this morning saying, Hey, I own a pair of those shoes and they are the best shoes. The born primitive, savage ones. They’re pretty damn nice. I mean, especially if you are a fan of the Nano two. Bear Lin, is that his name? The CEO of Born Primitive was on here yesterday morning. You are a Savage one. I am a savage one.


There’s something that they did with the tongue too. Do you remember in the nano two how the tongue would swing off to the side? You’d wear them for a while and then all of a sudden the tongue would fall off. It’d be all cockeyed and you’d always be grabbing it and pulling it to the center, grabbing it and pulling it to the center. This doesn’t do that. And significantly cleaner than the tto. The tto. I love the shoe. The TTOs, the core one, not the core two. Do not get the core two, but the core one. You ever seen old people, how they wear those shoes? They look like, I think they’re called ASIC or something. They’re like these big clawed. They look like C Claudes. They have those huge soles and those old people shuffle around. Old men do it. Their feet look fucked up.


They wear these giant weird kind of tennis shoes. My dad does it, and I see old people at the old people cafe in town wearing them. It’s crazy. These, the Vitos have a little bit of that, A little bit of that old man, like too big. Look, core two, definitely have it. Savage one Zero. Not at all. You’re back to low profile. You look lean and mean. They’re nice. I haven’t even looked at the, did you guys look to see? Lemme see. Born Primitive. Did you guys see the, I guess they came out with a new shoe or a new color.


The thing is, is that the shoes aren’t cheap and oh, I don’t see the new one. Shoes aren’t cheap and they’re on Crazy Sale right now. Crazy Crazy Sale. Did anyone, oh, oh, maybe it’s this one. No, this one? No, this one. Oh, maybe it’s this one. Shit, I don’t know what’s new. I would only get the black one. I only like the look of the black one. I saw these, I mean, these are nice. I guess they look more like a girl shoe to me. Smallest size is eight. Do you guys know anyone who didn’t like the Nano two SE channel memberships? Buddy, get on it. I know. You know what’s crazy that you say that? For those of you who don’t know what channel memberships are, channel memberships are a way that you guys can send money to me. And then I guess what it does is it highlights your comments. I kind of know, I recognize the names and the boobs that I want pull up like Allison and Cave, and so I know who to pull up without even reading the comments. Just from how long you guys have been around. Asymmetric Ear Strike Movement, haze Trainers, or stick with Nano twos. I don’t know. Those Strike Movement Haze trainers. The twos are dope, but there’s people that I know and I just click on ’em. You know what I mean? I know my posse.


You need tos. Oh, get the ghost. Damn. I’m all over the place. The memberships, there’s also, there’s a couple other things. And by the way, if one of these sponsors down here had a sponsorship and a sale and I thought it was lame, I would not read it to you guys. I would not waste your time. So if someone was giving 5% or if I was getting kicked back, I wouldn’t, and you weren’t getting a discount, I wouldn’t tell you. I would just be like, that’s stupid. I’m not wasting their time. So these ones that I’m telling you are ones that I like if that I’m curating the deals based on how much money people also pay me, but this one’s good. Wolverine. Okay, ready? Get 30% off subscriptions for the rest of your life. If you type in the code. Wo Friday, S-W-O-L-E, Friday 2023, all one word, SWO Friday. I’m going to put it, I’m going to copy the code. Here’s the code. So if you take supplements, I dunno why you wouldn’t do that. And I do want to say this also, it’s kind of crazy. Wolverine does not sponsor Andrew Hiller, and if you didn’t see his video, he compared Wolverine to First Pharma, the one with the really cool company with the fat guy leader, I forget his name, but basically Hiller compared the two, pulled up their ingredients and looked at ’em and he is like, wow, swol is so much better.


So there you go. That’s 30% off subscriptions for a lifetime. Oh, you know where we really need to go. And then of course, the greatest deal for this is just Christmas shopping. Shit, I think where’s Paper? Street Coffee, paper Street. Even. I spelled out street after telling you guys never to do it. Okay, so supposedly today’s the day. If you go to Paper Street Coffee and you go to shop and you go to, I don’t even see the Ts. What? The ot T go to T right before my eyes. This should be buy three. What the fuck is going on? This should be buy three, get one free. No, buy one, get two free. That’s what it is. So these are normally $25 a bag supposedly today, let’s call it, fuck. What the fuck is going on Gabe? Let’s call Gabe and see what’s going on. Supposedly today it’s you buy one and get two free, which is kind of crazy. So why wouldn’t you buy? I’d buy nine and give ’em all away his presence. And hey, and if you like Gabe, you know what else you’re doing. You’re getting people kind of hooked to his brand of coffee, so maybe they’ll continue buying Paper Street Coffee


And supporting Gabe supports this show. I’ll tell you that he is very generous to the show. I’ll buy 69 says Cave Astro. Oh shit. Is my phone not working yet? Hello?

Speaker 2 (08:06):

What’s going on man?

Sevan Matossian (08:07):

Hey, I don’t know why I can’t get you on the road caster. Can you hear me? No shit. Hey, sorry, I guess they won’t be able to hear you. Hey, I’m on the Paper Street Coffee website. I don’t see the, I thought it was buy one get two free.

Speaker 2 (08:22):

It’s you just got to put in your cart.

Sevan Matossian (08:25):

Do I have to type in a code?

Speaker 2 (08:27):

Nope. Nothing. You just put them in your cart and that’s it.

Sevan Matossian (08:30):

Okay, hold on. Lemme see. It should take you the seven ounce sizes or the four ounce size

Speaker 2 (08:35):

Only. The seven ounce, only the

Sevan Matossian (08:36):

Big boy. Okay. Seven ounce size, $40. I’m going to buy, I’m going to get it add to cart, and then I’m going to go to my cart and then, oh, and I’m going to increase it to three. Oh shit, I see it. Okay.

Speaker 2 (08:56):

Should I tell you what the Cyber Monday deal is now?

Sevan Matossian (08:59):

Yeah. How long is this deal going to last? Right here

Speaker 2 (09:02):

Until 12 o’clock tonight.

Sevan Matossian (09:04):


Speaker 2 (09:05):

It’s gone forever. I’ll never be back.

Sevan Matossian (09:07):

Okay, listen guys, so it’s a $40 bag of tea and you get two $40 bags of tea for free. He just a better one. He said it will never come back again. This deal. Okay, go on one

Speaker 2 (09:20):

For coffee. Coffee for Cyber Monday.

Sevan Matossian (09:22):

Okay. Okay, so coffee on Cyber Monday. Go on.

Speaker 2 (09:27):

You buy for $50, you can purchase $150 gift card.

Sevan Matossian (09:35):

On Cyber Monday you can purchase a $50 gift card.

Speaker 2 (09:40):

Nope. Other way around, you could purchase a $150 gift card to our website that works on coffee anytime you want for $50.

Sevan Matossian (09:51):

Okay, so basically if you drink coffee or tea, you could save $200 on it between today and Monday.

Speaker 2 (09:59):

Yep, pretty much.

Sevan Matossian (10:00):

All right. Awesome. Thank you dude. Man.

Speaker 2 (10:03):

Yep, buddy. Thank you and good luck to jetro. I’m going to go out to gym when he opens. Give him a bunch of coffee.

Sevan Matossian (10:09):

Yeah, crazy. Took an hour

Speaker 2 (10:09):

And a half

Sevan Matossian (10:10):

Away. I’m so impressed that he’s doing that. What a baller,

Speaker 2 (10:13):

Dude. I’m so stoked for him. I can’t wait. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (10:17):

Alright. How far is it from you? His gym?

Speaker 2 (10:20):

90 minutes.

Sevan Matossian (10:21):

Oh, okay. So

Speaker 2 (10:22):

It’s not that far, but still pretty there.

Sevan Matossian (10:24):

Okay, cool. Shit, I’m accidentally faced. Oh, I don’t mean to be. I don’t mean to be. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:31):

Alright man. Love you. I’ll talk

Sevan Matossian (10:32):

To you. Okay, bye. Cold called Gabe on two phones. Okay guys, you get it. Paul Peters. Paul Peters was sexually aroused by Gabe’s voice instead of embracing the sexual feelings he had. By listening to our Ecuadorian brother, Gabe, he said, I bet this guy waits at truck stops to service the truckers who come through. I understand the sentiment, Paul, you got a little roused and manifested as a sexual joke. You’re curious, does Gabe’s penis taste like chocolate or tea or coffee? I understand if only I could get the phone to work. Shit. Okay, so membership. So basically what Cave Astro is saying is there should be memberships so that you guys could, I don’t know how it works, but I guess you guys pay a dollar or $2 a month or some shit. $5 a month, $85 a month. And then when you guys make comments, they’re highlighted. Is that how it works? Are you sure that’s not set up? Part of me thinks that at some point Will or Susa set that up. What if I really needed the phone and I could never get it to work? There are different tiers. I pretty much, I think I try to pull up every single person’s question. Who donates money? People who don’t donate money to, and then the only people I avoid the plague are people start getting frustrated. I owe it to ’em, pull their comment up. Then I started like, fuck you, I’m doing my best.


And then finally, of course there’s not Paper Street Coffee, not Wolverine. Then of course I wonder if Birth Fit has a Black Friday sale. They offer so much anyway, but then of course there is California peptides. That’s if you use the code word seven, you get free shipping and 10% off. So someone asking me yesterday if I was on steroids, I was like, no. They’re like, but don’t you take peptides. I’m like, yeah, like three months ago, I don’t take steroids. Wad, zombie. How? My name is Blue members would be green. Oh, oh, wad Zombie’s going to explain how the membership work, how my name is Blue members would be green with badges next to their name. Then when you hit a milestone of time as a member, you get a free super chat.


Alright, someone tells Susa to hook it up. Set it up. Yeah, someone tell Susa to hook it up. This is an affiliate series show today. Kind of a weird one. Jethro’s opening an affiliate. I’m fucking pumped. I’m pumped because I wonder how many people have this show has pushed them over the edge to open an affiliate or I wonder if it’s ever gone the other way. How many people on this show were planning on opening an affiliate and then heard the show and didn’t? What the fuck does this mean? You’re doing great, Sebi. What do you mean?


What the fuck is going on here? Love you se what is going on? You’re doing greats. That’s what you say to someone who has Down Syndrome. What do you mean what’s going on? Did I have a mild stroke? Yeah, do that. Yeah, do that. Getting Susie’s dms. We could call. Let’s just fucking try the phone again. Why are you guys saying I’m doing great? You’re freaking me out. Let’s call Susa. Go to My Favorites. I think today’s the day I give Matt SU’s phone number live out on the air. Oh, I hear it calling. Do you guys hear it?


That doesn’t mean shit though. As soon as I dial, it might go away. Listen, it’s not praise. It’s just out of left field. Just all of a sudden, Hey, you’re doing great. I’m like, what? Oh God, this is such a joke. Oh yeah, this is not good. Kenneth laughed. The most important thing is that you tried Seon. I’m great. Yep, the phone’s not working. Son of a bitch. Thanks. Have a great day. Damn, damn, damn, damn. I guess I could try to turn the road caster off. You know what else happened? I haven’t told you guys this on the road caster. I’m now using one of the guest microphones because the line that came into line one on the road caster has a his now.


So weird. That was cool that Hunter and Hiller came on on Thanksgiving, right? What is this? Oh yeah, yeah. I wanted to show you guys this. Look at this. I haven’t seen one of these before. Look at this. I think guess this is a home gym. The girl’s name is I think, I don’t know what her name is. I was going to say her name is Nina Simone, but that’s the song. But look at the CEO flag in the background, dude. I like the way those weights are stored also. That’s a nice setup. God, you know how stoked she is on her gym if that’s her home gym.


Now that’s accessory work. You see that? Remember that argument I had with those fucking dinging dongs? You don’t put accessory work in his movements. I always fight with Taylor on that. You wouldn’t put curls. You wouldn’t put curls into a CrossFit competition. Curls. That’s accessory work. Yeah. See, Philip Kelly was unconscious in the hospital for months and when he woke up from a near death experience, they said, you’re doing great, Philip. Yeah, I don’t like it. Yeah, that is a neat gym, right? So clean. Speaking of backgrounds, a custom skateboard would look great in your savon. Did you make me a custom skateboard?


Where is that? That must be in the where is that? Okay? You want to see something? Absolutely. Fucking nuts. This is so fun. This is going to be a fun show today. I want to try this. Actually, believe it or not, does anyone else watch this video? I’m about to show you and want to try this? This is a guy. This has got to be a foreigner. No American does this. Or maybe a hillbilly, but that’s a bag of charcoal in his hands. You see that? He puts the bag of charcoal on his head. Now watch this, watch this. He takes the bag of charcoal. You think that’s real?


Dude, that jacket is ruined after that. Oh, that’s Serbia or Russia. That’s incredible, isn’t it? Hey, and there. That’s not even blackface or racist or whatever the fuck people think that is. That’s just a party trick. Wow, his shit’s ruined though. All those clothes are fucking toast. So you think that’s real? There’s no cuts. You think that’s just real? Someone do that. I want to see that. I want to try that myself actually. I want to see if that works. Fuck. There you go. You think that’s retarded? I don’t know. I thought it was kind of cool. Wasn’t there On Easter, there was a bag where you could put eggs in it and you would shake it and then they would be all colored when I was a kid or something. Shake. Shake and bake. Shake.


Look it. Here we go. We’re the only country that calls people by color. I don’t know what that means, but I’m sure what makes us stupid? Oh shit. Wow. Wow. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? You kick his sister in the chin. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my goodness. This is something I have for David. It says, lemme see. Oh, not that David. Oh, this is good. I think I’m going to get this guy on the show. This guy right here. Did I already play this? Oh, no. Let’s just, no, this isn’t the show for that Wake and Bake. Nope. Not that. Not that.


I had a bunch of jokes up here. Oh, this is a good one. Here we go. I saw this on Twitter. Look at this. Someone took a poll. Can you say the word retard? What’s the consensus? This guy keem 134,000 votes. He says, retard is back. Retard. Is it okay to say retard? Now, 83% of the voters said yes, 17% net said, no, we’re good to go. It’s official. I want to just start doing that with words, but just make up the poll. You know what I mean? It’s just the misinformation or what do they call that? Just lying. No, Jethro’s coming on at seven 30. I wanted to get through all my Black Friday talk before Jethro came on.


Sean Linderman. Those 17% are probably screaming in the comments. I bet you that’s not even a real poll. Kenneth Dela, when was it not okay to say you never had a friend who said it’s not okay to say I had a good friend and coworker, ed CrossFit, a couple of them who had siblings with Down Syndrome, and they would talk to me and I would just say, okay, I’ll try not to say it. And I did. Try not to say it, dude. Did you guys see Andrew Tate on Pierce Morgan? Wow, his most recent one. He was on Pierce Morgan. The only reason why I watched it was it’s long and I watched a 45 minute clip, but someone said, Hey, Pierce Morgan fucked. Andrew Tate up. And I’ve heard it both ways. I guess there’s a section where Tate fucks Pierce Morgan up, but when Israel and Palestine come up, man Pierce Morgan destroys Andrew Tate. I’ve never seen Andrew Tate kind of recoil like this. It’s worth watching. It definitely makes him human. Pierce Morgan just works ’em.


There’s a handful of people in my dms who just want to ask pound me about Palestine and they just want to drive home. It’s a genocide and this and that and this. And I’m like, dude, listen, the only solution for those people if you love them and care about them, is for them to get out of there if you want them to live. I mean, for me, that’s what I’d like to see. I’d like to see no more people die and for them to live. And your solution for that is to walk on the streets of New York City holding up signs that say, save the planet and free Palestine mine’s not mine’s to give the most valuable advice that there is. And those people have to leave. And if your response to that is they can’t leave, well, you’re not helping the situation at all.


Those people have to leave. And for those of you who are calling it a genocide, you’re like the people that told kids drugs are bad for you. When the kids in the eighth grade and he’s done a hundred hits of acid and everything’s going swimmingly well and he has straight, it’s like, dude, listen. Telling a kid that drugs are bad for them and them doing the drugs and everything going great in their life means that you’re not sending them the right message. They’re basically saying, fuck you. They have the evidence. Now, I’m not saying that drugs are good for you, but what I’m saying is all you’re doing is losing that kid’s trust because he’s not seeing any of the fucking ramifications of doing drugs as being negative. So you got to try a fucking different angle. So all you’re doing by telling people that free Palestine and you’re, you’re just causing people to lose trust. Do you want those fucking people to live? Then give them fucking advice that’s helpful for them to get them to live. No one trusts you when you’re walking around with a sign. Did you see that sign? I think it was at the Macy’s parade that says, save the Planet and Free Palestine. Like please. You have those two things bundled up together. My God,


Mad Marv. Oh, this is a good one. I like this. I had a retarded friend in high school. It wasn’t really your friend. Let’s, first I question that acquaintance Marv, were you on the yellow bus? I only got mad when someone called him a retard to his face. He was self-aware enough to know he was stuck with a simple brain. Couldn’t do anything about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally feel you. When I worked with the retards, I never would call them retarded, that’s for sure. Yeah, that’s hurtful. Yeah, they do know. That’s the craziest part. You just nailed it. That’s the craziest part In the five years that I lived with developmentally disabled adults lived with them. That was the hardest thing to see is when they would start talking about their awareness of their shortcomings, and they all wanted boyfriends and girlfriends.


Douglas Murray’s discipline with the word genocide is mandatory. Nazis in Rwanda were genocides. Wow. Douglas Murray, look at you. Do I know you? I know you. You’re someone I know. Really? Douglas Murray’s jacked. What a shining example of a human being. Douglas Murray. I mean, he’s a gay dude. He better be jacked. Oh shit. What the fuck? Holy shit. What? Wow. Oh, look what this lady wrote about Douglas Marie Douglas, your tiny beacon of light that shines permanently through our days of darkness. I pray your light of truth and love will guide all the poor, beautiful hostages of Israel home and safe. Damn. Hey dude, it almost looks like he injected oil into those muscles.


My God, those triceps are ridiculous. We need to send that to goo and see if that shit was photoshopped. Jesus crying. He’s jacked, jacked post fuck. I would love to have him on the show. I’d like to be friends with him. Someone sent me a dmm. How are people supposed to raise their kids in Palestine? I’m like, dude, they’re fucking not. If you love your kids, you’re going to get your kids out of there. Wow. You look smart. Aha. Caught you. Caught you snoozing. Look, we were all staring at you for 15 minutes. I can’t hear you. Something’s wrong with your mic. Oh my God. Look how young you look. You talk like a wise old man and look at you. You look like you’re fucking 35 and you’re all fucking, you look like a brainiac. You look all smart and shit. You need to put a, it’s the glasses desire. You need to put a pencil behind your ear and a pocket protector. You got one one of these. You need one of these. This. Look, my dad rolled like that. He’d be like marking shit around the house.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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