Sevan Matossian (00:00):
Volume was low. Bam. We’re live. No, your volume’s still low. How’s my volume? Is my volume good?
Caleb Beaver (00:08):
Your volume sounds good.
Sevan Matossian (00:09):
Okay. There you go. Ooh, I’m tired. Fuck. I’m tired.
Caleb Beaver (00:17):
Yeah,
Sevan Matossian (00:17):
I stayed up. Yeah, I stayed up way too late
Caleb Beaver (00:20):
Watching Dexter, the new Black Ops
Sevan Matossian (00:26):
Dexter. Wait, black Ops? What’s that? Is that a show too?
Caleb Beaver (00:29):
No, the new College of Duty, black Ops six came out and everybody’s just playing it.
Sevan Matossian (00:36):
Hey, are people at your summer school talking about the Rogan podcast?
Caleb Beaver (00:46):
Yeah, big time.
Sevan Matossian (00:48):
Oh, seriously, everyone Really?
Caleb Beaver (00:51):
Yeah. It’s a pretty big deal. Everybody’s just, it came out Friday night
Sevan Matossian (00:56):
And
Caleb Beaver (00:57):
Or whatever, and then I sent it along to my class and we just talked, and then people just started quoting it immediately. They watched it end to end that night.
Sevan Matossian (01:13):
Yeah, I saw it get posted, and I watched the whole thing right away. I saw this. I hate how true, this is what I’m about to show you. This is just so fucking ridiculous. But have you seen this?
Caleb Beaver (01:32):
No.
Sevan Matossian (01:37):
Oh God.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
We’re rolling. Here we go. Trump’s on Rogan. Trump’s on Rogan. Trump’s on Rogan. Trumps Rogan. Trump’s on Rogan Trump. Hey,
Sevan Matossian (02:22):
Hey. Did you hear? Trump is on? Can you
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Please? Shut the fuck. Fuck
Sevan Matossian (02:26):
Up. Well, we can listen later. I was embarrassed when I saw that. I embarrassed myself. Oh my goodness. Kenneth. What’s up, dude?
Caleb Beaver (02:43):
Every microcosm of Joe Rogan’s fans just got outed
Sevan Matossian (02:48):
Sevy. How many spicy marks did you have last night? None. None. No drinking. Yesterday, I just cried just now from laughing so hard. My eyes are just, they’re like, it’s so fucking bright in here. I’m tired. I’m really sleepy. I stayed up till midnight normally. Normally I am on such a routine. I see 10 45. I tell Haley, assume the position I’m asleep by 11 fucking, you know what I mean? Not last night. Last night it was like 10 45, and I heard her say to me, we were sitting on the couch and I was looking at my phone and she goes, do you want to watch another episode? And I didn’t answer because I wanted to, but I didn’t want to say yes. Then she’s like, do you want to watch another episode? Do you want to watch another? And the next thing I know, she’s watching her own shit. Another episode of Dexter. The next thing I know, I can wear different sunglasses.
Caleb Beaver (03:45):
She watches it with you. She watches Dexter with you?
Sevan Matossian (03:48):
Yeah.
Caleb Beaver (03:48):
Hell yeah.
Sevan Matossian (03:49):
She started, I guess there’s a pre-game of throne show on now. And I looked up for my phone after 40 minutes of not answering her. And I go, wait, you’re watching something without me? And then she goes, do you want me to wait for you? And then I just look back down at my phone.
Caleb Beaver (04:08):
She’s watching a house of the dragon.
Sevan Matossian (04:10):
Yeah. Yes. Hey, do you ever not answer questions to your wife because you’re stuck between yes and no, and she thinks you’re not listening to her, but there’s just a kink in the system.
Caleb Beaver (04:27):
No, usually I’ll just start talking. If I don’t know how to answer it, then I’ll just start working through the answer with her.
Sevan Matossian (04:34):
Yeah. I feel like I don’t do that. I just stay quiet. And then she’ll be like, Hey, answer me. Answer me. I cannot. It will not compute. It will not. You know what I mean?
Caleb Beaver (04:46):
It’s like I’m
Sevan Matossian (04:47):
Stuck. Do I go in the backyard and water the plants or do I go with her and the kids to get pumpkins? And she’s like, are you coming with us to get pumpkins? And I’m like, fuck. Stuck. Yeah. It’s like I have autism. I’m stuck in the middle school. You know what I mean? Have you ever been around people with severe autism?
Caleb Beaver (05:07):
Yeah, there are a couple of guys in our class that have autism for sure.
Sevan Matossian (05:10):
I used to work with this guy who I would pick him up from his school. He was an adult. It was like an adult school, and I would walk him a mile home every day. And I did this for two years. And sometimes he would play, there were two games he played, look for pennies and don’t step on cracks.
Caleb Beaver (05:29):
Okay. Because break him all his back.
Sevan Matossian (05:32):
Yeah, I guess. Yeah. And if he stepped on a crack dude, he would have to walk back. And it depends sometimes. And he’d have to walk backwards in the exact steps that he stepped on the crack in and walk back. And then sometimes he couldn’t get the steps. And dude, we would get stuck for 20 minutes. And I think at least two or three occasions in those two years, the cops came because where he got stuck was in the middle of a street. Yeah. So just imagine you’re walking and then you just can’t get the step right. And then so he would just do this, what the hell? Yeah, it was crazy. Crazy shit.
Caleb Beaver (06:17):
I’ve never heard of that, but that makes sense.
Sevan Matossian (06:19):
It was crazy shit. And one time, God, there’s crazy stories. One time a fucking cop came. One time a cop came. You’re not even going to believe the story. One time a cop. So a guy’s honking, and I’m like, Hey, dude. He’s stuck in the street. And they’re like, well, tell him to get the fuck out of the street. The guy in the car. And I fucking walk over the window. I’m like, Hey, dude, he doesn’t want to fucking be stuck in the street. He has fucking autism. And he stepped on a fucking crack. And I’m trying to explain the fucking diagnosis, right? So the neighbors, or someone calls the cops, the cop shows up and the cop walks up to him and starts talking to him. I don’t tell the cop he has autism, and the cop’s talking to him. And so he grabs the guy. It was a big guy. His name was Eric. He was probably like six two, maybe two 40. He was over
Caleb Beaver (07:12):
The autistic kid.
Sevan Matossian (07:13):
Yeah, fat kid. And when I say kid, he was 23.
Caleb Beaver (07:17):
So
Sevan Matossian (07:17):
He grabs Eric by the arm. I made a movie about him. I need to actually find it a 30 minute movie, it’s called. My name is Eric. And the cop puts his arm on his shoulder and Eric fucking turns around and hits the cop. So the grabs him and I run over there and I’m like, Hey, dude, dude, dude, we got to chill. And he’s trying to bite the cop and shit. So he handcuffs Eric and sits him down on the curb. And this fucking cop, he’s wearing shorts. It’s in Santa Barbara. And this cop stands behind him, and he’s like, they wore cops. They
Caleb Beaver (07:51):
Wear
Sevan Matossian (07:51):
Shorts.
Caleb Beaver (07:52):
The cop wearing shorts.
Sevan Matossian (07:53):
Yeah. This cop was wearing shorts and it’s beach town. He puts his hand on the curb with his hands cuffed, and the cop puts his hands on his shoulder. He’s like, it’s okay. It’s okay. And all of a sudden I hear the cop go, ow. And fucking Eric with his hands has grabbed. They got cop’s, leg hair,
Caleb Beaver (08:21):
Holy shit. Got him into a woosie finger hole with his fricking leg hairs.
Sevan Matossian (08:27):
One time we were walking home and we walked by this plum tree, and it was just like when a plum tree’s just got 10,000 plums on it. It’s hanging heavy, and the whole ground is littered with plums underneath it.
Caleb Beaver (08:39):
And you get it all stuck to your shoes. You walk through,
Sevan Matossian (08:43):
Say it again.
Caleb Beaver (08:44):
You get it all stuck to your shoes when you walk through.
Sevan Matossian (08:46):
Yeah, everything. It’s just fucking crazy. It’s like a fucking jelly factory. And so I go, I said something to him that I realized that he was going to have to eat a plum every time I ate a plum, or if I said something to him, do you want to eat a plum? He couldn’t say no. I cracked some code on him where he couldn’t say no. I would say, do you want to eat a plum? And then he would eat a plum, and then he would start walking like, Eric, do you want to eat another plum? And he would go and he would walk backwards and eat another plum. And so for every plum he ate, I told myself I have to eat one. So in my head, we’re having a plum eating contest, and God, I’m going to fucking go and burn in hell for this. So it gets to like 20 plums, right in a day, dude in a row. Dude, we’ve each eaten 20. Oh
Caleb Beaver (09:34):
My God.
Sevan Matossian (09:38):
So now I realize he doesn’t want to eat any more plums, but I don’t care. So every time he walks, so now he would eat the plum and then walk away. Anyone who’s worked with someone who has autism totally knows what I’m talking about. It’s fucking crazy. So then he starts walking away. I’m like, Eric, do you want to eat another plum? He’s like, Sev, no. Sev, no. But then he has to go back and eat the plum anyway, and he’s screaming. So we each eat like 40 plums, dude.
Caleb Beaver (10:05):
Oh my God.
Sevan Matossian (10:07):
We got, soon as we got to his house, both of us fucking went in the bathroom and shit. Our brains out. I think both of us were in the bathroom for an hour each. Yeah. Look at Christine Young nose shits. Yeah, it was crazy,
Caleb Beaver (10:19):
Dude.
Sevan Matossian (10:19):
Yeah. Did you shit yourself? Yeah. Silly dude. We both shit ourselves silly.
Caleb Beaver (10:26):
That’s incredible. Just forced this kid to eat 40 plums.
Sevan Matossian (10:32):
Once a month he would take these shits called boulder poops, and he would come out and be like, Seon. I took a boulder poop and they were the size of a football, the same shape as a peanut butter jar, but twice as big. I know. You couldn’t even believe it.
Caleb Beaver (10:54):
How does he get that out of your asshole?
Sevan Matossian (10:55):
I always wondered that, Hey, one day. Yes, yes. One morning I walked into his bedroom. It was like 9:00 AM and he’s laying in bed and the covers are pulled back and he’s in his pajamas and he’s like this. And I look and in front of him, because he’s on his side and I look, and right in front of him is one of those giant blocks of Costco cheese that’s like, you know what I mean? The fucking, it’s like, it looks like cargo container, just a huge rectangle block. And half of it’s eaten and it’s sitting on his sheets and the oil from the cheese has spread so around it, there’s a fucking circle that’s like three feet in fucking diameter, a fucking oil stain on his sheets. And I’m like, Hey, Eric, good morning. He’s like, get out, get out. So funny, man. There were some crazy fucking things.
Caleb Beaver (11:56):
Cheese is just sweating on his bed.
Sevan Matossian (11:59):
One day I went into his room and he threw a fucking, those steel things that sit on your stove that you put the pan on that separate your pan from the fire?
Caleb Beaver (12:07):
Yeah. Yeah. A little grate.
Sevan Matossian (12:09):
Yeah. I don’t know what those things are called, but one time I went into his room and he’s pissed and he threw one of those at me. That’s when I was like, man, this job is dangerous.
Caleb Beaver (12:17):
Oh. At that point, that’s when he figured out it was
Sevan Matossian (12:19):
Dangerous. Yeah. I was like, this job is fucking dangerous.
Caleb Beaver (12:23):
They just do whatever, man. It’s fucking terrifying sometimes if I’m, yeah, I just get really nervous around autistic people sometimes they just do whatever they want.
Sevan Matossian (12:35):
Yeah. They’re in their complete own world. He’s in that movie, our House, for anyone who hasn’t seen it, it’s on YouTube. If you want to see him, I dunno what’s going on with my email. Something’s up with my email. I did not enjoy the fights.
Caleb Beaver (12:52):
No,
Sevan Matossian (12:53):
No. Did you enjoy them?
Caleb Beaver (12:55):
I watched the prelims and I enjoyed them. I didn’t watch all the big stuff, though.
Sevan Matossian (13:02):
Didn’t
Caleb Beaver (13:03):
Seem like they were that cool.
Sevan Matossian (13:05):
Somebody texted me and said, Hey, do you have a link? I was like, A link. They’re talking about a link. I’m 52. I don’t get a fucking link. What the fuck you mean a link?
Caleb Beaver (13:15):
You pay for that shit.
Sevan Matossian (13:17):
Yeah. I did not enjoy it.
Caleb Beaver (13:20):
I had a link, but then they just stopped streaming it. I don’t know what happened.
Sevan Matossian (13:25):
My son is what they call an eloper. He can just take off when he feels like it, especially around water.
Caleb Beaver (13:33):
Yeah. That’s fucking terrifying. I’d be so stressed.
Sevan Matossian (13:36):
One of my crowning achievements working with him is the first they said, Hey, just so you know, when I worked there for five years, they said, well, one of the things he does is if he finds a penny, he’ll eat it. And so in the first year I was with him, every time I’d walk him home, he’d find a penny. So in a year I saw him eat 300 fucking pennies, but I can’t remember how I did it, but eventually I got him, so he didn’t eat pennies. So he would walk like this. He would walk like this When he was looking, when he was looking for pennies, he would walk like, lemme get on my knees. He’d walk always looking down, and then anytime you went by a car, he would hang his head so low and walk at the same time so he could look under the car. You know what I mean? He’d be walking but fucking folded in half.
Caleb Beaver (14:28):
What the hell?
Sevan Matossian (14:29):
Like someone on Tran. It was pretty fucking amazing. And his dedication was like, his focus was like a hundred. Just imagine walking for 30 minutes and never stop looking for Benny’s.
Caleb Beaver (14:41):
Wow.
Sevan Matossian (14:43):
Sevan, you’re almost at that age where men do shit to their assholes. Out of boredom, what inanimate object would you shove up there and why? Wow. You’re like a fucking, you should work for the CIA dude forcing some sort of bizarre premise on me and then following it up with a question. How about, fuck you, to the first question,
Caleb Beaver (15:07):
You must be really bored,
Sevan Matossian (15:08):
Weird stuff to my butt hole ever. Every day I bar soap probably touches my butt hole. When I wake up in the morning, I soak my butt, I soap my butt and my armpits and my pew. That’s
Caleb Beaver (15:22):
It.
Sevan Matossian (15:23):
Yeah, pretty much. I can’t remember. I haven’t been probably washed my face in, I can’t remember, 40 years since I’ve been 12. Wow. If I’m working in the yard, I’ll wash my legs
Caleb Beaver (15:43):
Because you get pretty dirty in the soil and all that.
Sevan Matossian (15:46):
No, but just, who knows? I don’t know. I don’t, don’t even wash my feet, and I’m like always barefoot. Oh god. So Sinusy is Sandy Randy a girl or is that a guy who just uses Beaver icons?
Caleb Beaver (16:05):
I think that’s a real girl. I investigated that one day and she actually posts on her YouTube channel. She goes Free diving and stuff.
Sevan Matossian (16:15):
Oh, that’s her, and that’s her body?
Caleb Beaver (16:17):
That’s her body.
Sevan Matossian (16:19):
My brother’s autistic, but surprisingly, he never shows the typical aggressive behaviors.
Caleb Beaver (16:26):
That’s cool.
Sevan Matossian (16:27):
Oh, no need The soap goes down there. Oh, like to your legs and shit?
Caleb Beaver (16:33):
Yeah. I usually just too tall. I don’t want to go past my balls, so I just soap down as far as my hands can reach and that’s it.
Sevan Matossian (16:42):
Yeah. You just look down there and you’re like, sorry, not today.
Caleb Beaver (16:45):
Yep.
Sevan Matossian (16:47):
Not today. How about this? Trump’s getting ready to take everyone. I’m about to make 30 Gs baby. 30 Gs. Look
Speaker 3 (17:02):
At this. Listen to
Caleb Beaver (17:03):
This. Anyone homeschooling their kids
Speaker 3 (17:06):
And I will deliver universal school choice, empowering every parent to send their child to the public, private, charter, or religious school that is right for them.
Sevan Matossian (17:19):
Listen, listen, listen.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
And I’ll allow homeschool parents to spend $10,000 a year tax free on costs associated with their children’s education. Let’s go,
Sevan Matossian (17:34):
Dude. He’s just asking parents to take their kids out of the indoctrination camps.
Caleb Beaver (17:40):
Hell yeah. Dude,
Sevan Matossian (17:43):
I wonder if I can use that money to just pay for all the shit my kids. Jiujitsu is basically their school. I wonder if what I could use that deduction for. I’m assuming it’ll be a deduction
Caleb Beaver (17:54):
From taxes or something.
Sevan Matossian (17:59):
What I would do is I would just get a credit card and everything I spent for fucking my kids’ education, which is fucking everything. It’s every moment they’re alive, I would just deduct, I’d put on that credit card.
Caleb Beaver (18:14):
Wow. That’d be pretty awesome.
Sevan Matossian (18:16):
Yeah. They watch a show on skateboarding deducted. They watch a show on the periodic table. My cable bill’s deducted. We go to fucking Newport Beach. It’s a fucking educational trip. You know what I mean? Everything’s just like
Caleb Beaver (18:29):
You turn anything into a
Sevan Matossian (18:32):
Yeah, I figured everything’s education for my kids. MAGA is not just 24. It’s like an annual thing. Yeah, thank you. It’s like a state of mind. We plan on homeschooling our two kids when they’re older. Why should we have to pay taxes to support public education if we never plan on using it? Especially when it’s an indoctrination camp. I don’t mind paying for stuff that I don’t use. I don’t mind paying for stuff I don’t use. You know what I mean? So tell me, Adam, if you think this is a stretch, but let’s say the school’s not an indoctrination camp, and you pay taxes and the kids go to school there, and then those kids go to school there and they become plumbers, and then you need plumbers, and so somewhere upstream, downstream, you benefit from it. I am from Pennsylvania, and I heard that this year, 180,000 Amish people registered to vote across the US If that’s the case, Trump won the election. Yeah, they probably could vote. Well, they’re probably really pissed at what’s happened to them, what’s happened. Basically, they had some, I don’t remember the details of the case, but they farm all their own food and shit, and they had some crazy farm that the government came and said that their farm wasn’t up to code or something.
(19:58):
Fuck with their shit, and confiscated like 50,000 eggs. Oh, raw milk. Thank you, Tyler. It was raw milk.
Caleb Beaver (20:04):
Oh my
Sevan Matossian (20:04):
God. Yeah. So it wasn’t up to code, and they came and took it from ’em. These are the healthiest communities in the United States. Speaking of autism. They don’t have autism in their communities. They don’t partake in the, you think they’re just all autistic? That’s in high school. I was like, I have no insecurities. And then I got to college. I’m like, oh. The reason why I thought that is because all I have is insecurities. I didn’t have any context.
Caleb Beaver (20:33):
Oh, the rest of you are normal and I’m not.
Sevan Matossian (20:36):
Yeah, I remember that waking up to that in college. I remember in high school thinking, why are all these fuckers insecure? Then I remember going to college and I can’t remember what it was. It was like Frisbee or ping pong or something. I started getting really confident about and then realizing, oh, shit. I’m insecure about everything else. I just never had one thing I was secure about Sevy. Tell us how you found 90 Gs. I just didn’t know my YouTube channel. You know that story, right, Caleb?
Caleb Beaver (21:07):
Oh, yeah. YouTube channel. You know how the YouTube channel works? Yeah.
Sevan Matossian (21:10):
Yeah. I just didn’t send my driver’s license into YouTube, and I thought that I just signed up for a YouTube channel and somehow the money would mysteriously appear in my account, but they’d been asking me for my driver’s license and I just ignored the email. I don’t look at any of that stuff. People send me PayPal’s like, we’ve updated our blah, blah, blah. I’m like, I don’t even fucking use pub PayPal. Fuck you. Or Instagram’s like, we’ve updated our privacy policy, or you need to sign in here. I’m like, no, I just won’t use that account anymore.
Caleb Beaver (21:40):
Right.
Sevan Matossian (21:43):
Jethro? I pay $15,000 a year in taxes, three quarters of it in school and public safety taxes.
Caleb Beaver (21:48):
Wow. Public
Sevan Matossian (21:50):
Safety.
Caleb Beaver (21:51):
Isn’t that fire in EMS or talking street sweepers?
Sevan Matossian (21:59):
Oh, maybe it’s all of that. Do you use a homeschool system and who teaches the kids? I want to homeschool, but I can’t get my head wrapped around how the schooling should be done. Yeah. That’s the way it was for me too. What it was is I was confused. You can’t think of it as homeschooling. You have to think of it. Hold on a second. I really haven’t been able to breathe now for a couple days through my nose. So good. When you can’t breathe through your nose, you can’t really talk because you’re breathing through your mouth. It’s the worst. I caught, I caught myself looking like Dexter on the show last night with the Glens. My mouth just opened like a fucking,
Caleb Beaver (22:46):
I noticed that about him too. That’s so weird.
Sevan Matossian (22:48):
His mouth’s always open.
Caleb Beaver (22:50):
It’s so weird. Tick that he has, I don’t know. Maybe that’s part of his character.
Sevan Matossian (22:54):
Hey, dude, that’s for sure. I think Ken told me, or someone said yesterday that it’s an allegory for Gay. It’s for It’s for sure. He’s for sure gay.
Caleb Beaver (23:05):
Oh, you think so?
Sevan Matossian (23:06):
Yeah. In real life or whoever wrote that, I bet you we could do one Google search and find the fucking writer of that show and go to his Instagram and see that he’s gay. Someone asked the fucking director or producer of fucking the Bond films if Bond would ever be gay.
Caleb Beaver (23:24):
Yes.
Sevan Matossian (23:25):
And he said, and the guy answered, we’ll never know. His sexual orientation or some shit. It was hard to understand. I think that’s what he was saying. He speaks in foreign talk, broken sentences,
Caleb Beaver (23:35):
But Daniel Craig was like, fuck you, dude. Shut up.
Sevan Matossian (23:38):
I’m like, dude, what are you talking about? That dude’s just a fucking pussy, like hound, like he saves the world and bangs hot chicks. What are you doing?
Caleb Beaver (23:50):
That’s the whole premise of bond.
Sevan Matossian (23:53):
If you have to call me homophobic, then so be it. I’ll own it, but I would stop. Bond would be ruined for me if he ended up being a homo. If I found out Joe Rogan was a homo, it wouldn’t ruin Joe Rogan for me. Or if I found out I was a homo, it wouldn’t ruin myself for me. Or if I found out, if I found out you were a homo, it wouldn’t phase me. But bond, sorry. You have to think of homeschooling as just raising your kids. You can’t think of it as the only two things that we really focus on are math and language, and I guess that’s not totally true. My mom teaches them, spends three days or four days a week teaching them Armenian and playing piano with them. So they’re really fortunate that they have that. But really the thing is just to make them super duper fucking competent in math and reading and writing, and from there, just the whole world opens up to ’em.
(25:03):
And my kids love reading. Two of them, two of them will just be just reading, just, you know what I mean? If you just walk in the room, you’ll see ’em just reading a book. And they love math, and I loved math as a boy too, and they love poker, and I hear them talking and they think about stuff with numbers, and they’re always trying to figure out how long or big or fast something is. It’s like for their birthday, I would get them the boys tape measures, you know what I mean? And they fucking love it. We’ve probably gone through 50 tape measures in the last three years. They use them so much, they break them or they take ’em outside or they fucking love tape measures and they love
Caleb Beaver (25:49):
Cloth ones, or
Sevan Matossian (25:51):
No, the steel metal ones. The metal ones. And they love thinking about, they thinking how many feet are in a mile and how many inches that is, and they love figuring out how long it takes to run or fucking walk somewhere. And then Greg’s got me this whole, all these critical thinking books that basically teach, you can teach little kids algebra without all the fucking confusion, all the fancy stuff. And then they start getting a grasp of how algebra works and balanced equations. They go to Kon, so their core is just kuman, and they do that every single fucking day. And lately I’ve been seen them doing it a little bit at night too. That’s cool. And they can just do it by themselves.
Caleb Beaver (26:41):
Kuman was around when I was a kid, and I always thought it was kind of weird, but now that I’m seeing it as an adult, it makes it a lot cooler.
Sevan Matossian (26:52):
It’s basically like this. So Kuman starts, you put your kid in Cuon. I think the twins were in at three. Avi was in at four. And the first day of Kuman, you can sign up for the English and math. It’s not cheap. And they give you this pamphlet of papers and you write a starting time and a finished time. It’s like CrossFit. Everything is time. So on the first day, it would be like the first day of class would be hold a pencil, draw a line, draw another line, draw another line. And so maybe it’ll be a month of just drawing lines or circles or rectangles, just so you get used to holding a pencil. I mean, it is really step by step. And then maybe by the time they’re four after a year of just drawing lines or stuff, then all of a sudden it’ll be like write numbers, and then it’ll just be a year of writing numbers and fucking writing letters.
(27:41):
And then all of a sudden it’ll be writing symbols and then all of a sudden it’ll be putting them together. And if you don’t do it, you don’t. And then if they don’t pass, you just stay there. It’s like CrossFit. If you can’t fucking overhead squat, the PVC pipe, you don’t put weight on it. And so your kids always, even when they fail, they don’t. It’s not like school where you fail and you move forward and then you’re in the fifth grade and you’d never fucking made it past the third grade. So your whole entire life is fucking cheating and playing catch up. It’s not like that in Coon. It’s more like Jiujitsu. You are not fucking moving ahead until you beat some kid’s ass. So if you don’t beat the fuck out of those papers and wind and you don’t move forward,
Caleb Beaver (28:21):
That’s cool.
Sevan Matossian (28:22):
Why are they learning Armenian? Because my mom’s teaching it to him. I have no idea. I don’t know, but it’s cool. I think, go ahead.
Caleb Beaver (28:35):
The guy who wrote Dexter is married to Earnest Hemingway’s second niece.
Sevan Matossian (28:44):
Have you seen that show?
Caleb Beaver (28:46):
Dexter?
Sevan Matossian (28:46):
Yeah.
Caleb Beaver (28:47):
Yeah.
Sevan Matossian (28:48):
Glinton told me yesterday that he was dating Deborah the sister for a while. He was banging her
Caleb Beaver (28:58):
During the show,
Sevan Matossian (28:59):
I guess. Yeah, that
Caleb Beaver (29:00):
Was mine while they were filming the show.
Sevan Matossian (29:03):
Yeah.
Caleb Beaver (29:04):
That makes sense. Because there’s some weird shit that goes on during that show that you just think that they’re boning. You know what I mean? You can just see some sort of chemistry when,
Sevan Matossian (29:14):
Yeah, dude, I’m attracted to her at the same level. I’m attracted to a 12-year-old boy.
Caleb Beaver (29:21):
You’re not
Sevan Matossian (29:23):
At all. I fucking hate fucking 12-year-old boys. She
Caleb Beaver (29:28):
Kind of sucks.
Sevan Matossian (29:30):
Her body does nothing for me. If I saw her naked, I think I’d go limp. Nothing about me says that she’s a baby carrier, nothing. It
Caleb Beaver (29:41):
Looks like she has Bell’s Palsy too or something, or she had some sort of something go on with her face that it doesn’t move right anymore.
Sevan Matossian (29:51):
All those transformational videos that I love how big her head is, but those transformational videos didn’t CrossFit where it’s like this person lost 150.
The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.
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