Darren Thomas | Point Blank Gunshot Survivor – Competing at WZA.

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

Getting cold in this office. Getting cold in here. Bam. We’re live. Good morning, Rebecca. Good morning, Mercedes Hall. Good morning, Leon. Good morning. Alexandra. Shae, fca. Good morning, Jeffrey Birchfield. Good morning, Natalie. Good morning. Gary Beaver. Good morning. Good morning, Gary. Gary Carberry. Is that real? Gary Carberry. Good morning, Julia. Good morning, judge. Ching. Oh, who’s this? A redhead. Agitator. Now listen, I think I’m not even going to, I’m going to be nice. I’m going to Sharon O’Sullivan. Good morning, Susie Borg. Good morning. Holy cow. What happened last night? All these people signed up for the show. What a great way to wake up Mike Sauer. Good morning, Darren Thomas. Good morning.

Darren Thomas (01:13):

Hey guys.

Sevan Matossian (01:14):

What’s up dude?

Darren Thomas (01:15):

How you doing?

Sevan Matossian (01:16):

Good. How’s the jet lag?

Darren Thomas (01:18):

It’s okay.

Sevan Matossian (01:19):

Hey. Did

Darren Thomas (01:21):

Long flat. A long flat,

Sevan Matossian (01:23):

Dude. I hate going to foreign countries. If I were you, I’d be like, damn, this sucks.

Darren Thomas (01:27):

But it’s coming to the US for us at least. It’s something to look forward to.

Sevan Matossian (01:32):

Yeah, in Florida, good place, right?

Darren Thomas (01:34):

Yeah. Yeah. And then Miami. So I guess it’s, it’s not a bad trip.

Sevan Matossian (01:40):

Hey, when is Waap Palooza? It’s coming up soon.

Darren Thomas (01:44):

Yeah, starts on the 12th. First day would be actually 11th.

Sevan Matossian (01:48):

11th,

Darren Thomas (01:49):

Jan.

Sevan Matossian (01:50):

Okay. You scared me a little bit when you said you were in the States. I was like, is it this week? So it’s not this week. Good. Whys early Just for vacation? Why’d you come to early?

Darren Thomas (01:58):

Yeah, so kids to Disney. I guess you can’t do the one without the other.

Sevan Matossian (02:04):

Yeah. That’s cool.

Darren Thomas (02:06):

Yeah, so we’ve got some friends who’ve actually arranged some accommodation for us here in Orlando for Disney, and then we’ll move on after that.

Sevan Matossian (02:17):

Yeah, that’s awesome. Let me put your Instagram. Caleb, could we change his name to his Instagram account? Yep. Darren qualified for Waap Palooza this year. And this is your first time. Is this your first time competing ever? First time competing out of South Africa,

Darren Thomas (02:37):

First time competing against on the floor, against anyone adaptive. So I’ve done a competition, but just for fun and just to get awareness going with the able-bodied athletes. But yeah, but it’ll be my first competition where I’ve actually got guys on the floor to go against, so it’s going to be pretty amazing.

Sevan Matossian (02:58):

So you don’t have working legs, but in South Africa you’ve just been competing against the able-bodied people. They’re just not enough adaptive, so you just jump in with the able-bodied dudes.

Darren Thomas (03:06):

Yeah, so I just jumped in. We just jumped in and scaled the workouts, but we obviously don’t compete against them. I just do it for fun and for awareness. I’ve, I’ve done one like that. We did it. One of the guys was actually just like, let’s do it. Because I was going to just do a workout by myself just to show and just create some awareness. And then he was like, why don’t you just jump in some of the workouts? So we did it with some of the guys. It was pretty cool.

Sevan Matossian (03:33):

Did you have the bug before then? Or did that give you the bug? Were you like, Ooh, I like that.

Darren Thomas (03:39):

I had the bug. I think when I used to play rugby, and I was a kickboxer, I used to do for South African kickboxing, and so I had this competitive edge, and when I got shot, I played a bit of basketball, but when I stopped that, I lost that whole thing of being able to be competitive. And so about three years ago when the open first invited the Adaptives, I entered just thought, okay, well, I don’t do CrossFit, but I’m active and let me try it. And we got involved and we did some stuff and it was just like that’s when I saw that I was able to compete against, I would be in the top 25 or something. And that made me think, okay, wait a minute, maybe I can do this. There’s some guys that are obviously injury wise, more able than I am, but I just want to get involved. So the competitiveness just got me and that first three weeks of the open, I think my wife almost wanted to leave me because all I cared about was CrossFit. They say they’re safety. Once you do CrossFit, it’s all you talk about. It kind was that way for those first three weeks.

Sevan Matossian (04:55):

It’s a big talk. CrossFit, the cure for the world’s most vaccine problem, live longer, all those things. But we all know that it’s also a place where professional athletes are division one athletes go to die. Men and women who have a shit ton of fitness, who are really good at their sports, still want to be competitive after their window closes as a soccer player or football player, whatever their sport was. And then they want to parlay, they want to scratch that competition itch. But then also, I think I heard Patrick Vellner talking about it the other day. It’s not relative to kickboxing. It’s a really low skill level. And so you can take your fitness and you can go in there and you can get good, if you’re already somewhat fit, you can get good relatively quick because there aren’t all the technical aspects. Right,

Darren Thomas (05:49):

Exactly. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (05:50):

In all fairness.

Darren Thomas (05:51):

Yeah, I think once you, because CrossFit wasn’t a big thing. I was shot because that was 16 years ago, and I think obviously maybe overseas it was, but in South Africa, not at all. So we never had any CrossFit boxes or anything like that. And then this started coming about and I was like, what’s this called CrossFit thing about? But until you actually get involved in it somehow and you see what goes into it, then you realize that these guys actually really need, you need to be fit, obviously. But if you have a skill for gymnastics or weightlifting, then work it all together. I think nobody’s good at all of them yet, but I’m saying not the best at all of them, but you can be good, better at some. So I think the challenge for me is just that because of the disability and because of some of the limitations, the movements become quite difficult because I don’t have a course. So my level is from yet down. I’ve got nothing. So I’m a higher level injury, and that makes movements more difficult.

Sevan Matossian (06:58):

I saw you doing this movement. Maybe Caleb will find it on your Instagram. I saw you doing this movement where a man’s holding you from behind and you’re holding a stick and you’re hitting something away and maybe even you’re straddling like a pommel horse or something.

Darren Thomas (07:14):

Yes, it was at my, so I go to a bike heist and he does some exercise with me that are different. And I’m sitting, I think on my knees on a punching bag just to sit over it.

Sevan Matossian (07:27):

Then

Darren Thomas (07:28):

Yeah, then I’m holding a stick for balance wise and trying to push the ball away while he’s, so he’d come up with all these contraptions, these exercises, but they work, it’s just stabilization really. So they’re trying to get me to stay but stable and not completely lose my balance.

Sevan Matossian (07:42):

Oh. Oh, here it is. Here it is. Damn. I can’t believe I beat Caleb. I never beat Caleb. Look at this. I should look at this. Bam. There you go. This thing right here. So this basically shows how high. So right here, so you’re saying below your nipples, you basically have lost control?

Darren Thomas (08:02):

Yes. Yeah. So I would be considered a T two, T two to T-spine. That’s where the injury is. It’s pretty high, but I think I’m just lucky to still have full use of my arms and hands, so it’s not a neck injury, which makes a big difference.

Sevan Matossian (08:19):

So if he Lets go of you there, you fall.

Darren Thomas (08:22):

Yeah, I just, I’ll fall over backwards. So I’m using him to push away from, but if he lets me go, I’ll fall over backwards or sideways and I’ll have to catch myself with my hands. So yeah, the balance is the biggest thing, just trying to stay. So the minute you have, I mean if you watch the guys, some of the guys that, the top guys that I’d be going against, they have injuries from the waist down and lower. And so the minute you have that core and that ability to stabilize your abs and your hips, it makes quite a big difference. Just that you lose a lot of your balance is the main thing. So when I’m sitting in a chair that’s more like a bucket than I’m deeper in, I have a lot more stability.

Sevan Matossian (09:08):

Hey, you’re basically, you’re a guy with two arms and thank God you have a fucking neck. Your neck’s. Okay. Yes, exactly. Not just do why compete at CrossFit and take the risk of hurting a shoulder, or I guess that would be it, the shoulder, right? Those are the last you have can’t you stay in just great fucking shape, but just still not compete.

Darren Thomas (09:38):

So you can, and I mean I was doing that for a few years. I was just in the gym and I was just training and just kind of staying in good shape. But I guess that competitive, that bar just to see all, can you go somewhere? And when you do it, I guess you start Also, for me, I think one of my biggest things from the beginning is just being to try and show people who’ve been injured and given up hope that they can still do stuff like this. And B, set their limitations or their expectations a bit higher and if they want to achieve things. I think for me, just wanting to achieve more in my situation, but also just being able to show people that life’s not over and you can still do stuff that well, for me, it’s thrilling to be able to do it and you get that adrenaline going, and I think I’ve always just been one of those people that needs something. It kind of makes me feel more alive.

Sevan Matossian (10:38):

How old are your kids?

Darren Thomas (10:41):

They’re nine and 11.

Sevan Matossian (10:43):

Do they play a part in that, in the reason why you do it?

Darren Thomas (10:47):

Yeah, I think so. I mean, every morning when I get up, I get up and someday they don’t feel like facing the day and doing what I do. But then I look at them and it’s like if they see dad give up, then they might pick up the same mentality as they go. So when they see me just get up and go, and I don’t think they’ve ever seen me give up just because I won’t let them, but I also won’t. So I think it plays a huge part for them. I can see it in my daughter. She’s the older one and she just has a mindset for an 11-year-old. She has a mindset that I’ve never seen any other child the way she just pursues and perseveres and she does dancing and she does all these things that she just wants to be better at and better at.

(11:37):

She’s up at seven in the morning to go to her dance recycles, and we don’t have to wake up. And my son, as he gets older, he is getting there as well. So I think they just see that for them. They also know that they can do anything they want to. So that’s one of the most important things for me is for them to just see that dad doesn’t give up and he may have the situation that he has. So no reason for us to, and I think they’re the main reason I do it. I think just because of being able to show them that they can still, and I still do everything I can with them. I’ll go outside and I’ll play sports to whatever level I can and they love it. And they don’t see me as lesser than anyone else, than any other dad, which is really cool. If there’s some things I can’t do, obviously I can’t go kick a soccer ball with my son and he loves playing soccer, but I’ll go and I’ll play with him either way. And those are the things that are important to me just to be able to be there for them in that. So I think my daughters now, she all wants to do is start CrossFit kids, so it’s

Sevan Matossian (12:51):

No shit. So she has the bug too, huh?

Darren Thomas (12:53):

Yeah, I think she just wants to do some, she really has this tenacity to do. She plays soccer in South Africa for girls is not that common and she just loves it. So I said, well, this is probably the place to be for that.

Sevan Matossian (13:11):

She’s 11.

Darren Thomas (13:13):

Yeah, she’s 11. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (13:16):

Yeah. Congratulations. So your kids have only known you, they never knew you before you had been shot.

Darren Thomas (13:21):

They didn’t. No. Which I think helps. It helps quite a bit because they didn’t have dad running around kicking a soccer ball before and now all of a sudden he climbed. So I think that helps a lot.

Sevan Matossian (13:32):

Oh, sucks. Dude. They would be devastated if they would be devastated to them. It’s probably nothing. But if they had already been born, they would’ve been devastated. They would’ve seen their dad go through a loss, but instead they Exactly, they don’t. It’s just the baseline to them,

Darren Thomas (13:49):

I think so I think that’s what they know. So for them, I’m so grateful that they didn’t have to go through the trauma and everything that went with it. That’s the best part about it, I guess they just arrived. I was like this, and it’s no different to them.

Sevan Matossian (14:09):

Darren, you’re in the security business. Is that a good business in South Africa? I would think it is.

Darren Thomas (14:18):

It. It’s a tough one, but it’s a good one, especially if you’re doing armed response and guarding, then the guys do really, really well because obviously the guarding business is pretty, the people who hire guards, it gets quite expensive. But we do systems, so we are not guarding, but we do systems, so we do a lot of the theft prevention and access control and remote site access and those type of things. So it’s

Sevan Matossian (14:48):

A good business. What does that mean, gates and cameras?

Darren Thomas (14:52):

Yeah, so we’ll have, for example, cell our cameras, alarm systems, all that. And then we’ve got a system that if somebody breaks in, it’ll fill the place with smoke within 30 seconds. It’s completely harmless, but you can’t see or breathe, you can’t see, or you can breathe perfectly and your eyes don’t burn, but you just can’t see a thing. So the guys just want to get out because it’s worse than that club smoke. It’s thick. It’s very thick, so you can’t see through it at all. Oh, I that’s, yeah, that they use a lot in jewelry stores. We have a lot of armed robberies where the guys come in in the day and they’ll rob the jewelry stores or retail stores and then the guys will actually activate the machine and smoke will deploy it and people will run away.

Sevan Matossian (15:36):

Lemme ask you this. This is off topic a bit. We’ve had something, we had this incident happen in the United States with a police officer was accused that he clearly a hundred percent did not do kill the guy named George Floyd. I saw that the autopsy report, everything came back that the guy OD’ed on fentanyl, but we had a lot of corruption in that case and we’re going to have the producer of the movie coming on in a few days. And ever since then there’s been this development of something that’s called a victim class in the United States where they’re allowed to steal. Now you’re allowed to steal. And is that what happened in South Africa also? We used to not have this problem because the police aren’t engaging criminals anymore. So we used to have it so the police would engage the criminals, grab them, or if they were robbing the storm, me and you were there, we would beat them. Now we’re not allowed to do that. In the last two years, this whole thing has changed. Or if you hold someone up at gunpoint at an ATM, you’ll be out in 24 hours. Now. We just had this sudden shift in what happened. There’s this acceptance for violence and these people are called, there’s not white privilege in this country. There’s something called the victim class. They have all the privilege. Is that what happened in South Africa? Just all of a sudden crime became acceptable.

Darren Thomas (16:56):

I think it would’ve been years ago, but our justice system doesn’t operate like yours does or used to. We’ve got guys, the guys who robbed and came and obviously shot me at my parents’ home. I mean there were seven of them,

Sevan Matossian (17:15):

Seven guys,

Darren Thomas (17:16):

Seven guys came in and there were, I think altogether when you watched back on camera and you saw it arriving and leaving, it was a group of seven, I think probably about five of them actually came in the house. And I think I must have come up against two or three of them, but I don’t remember much of the incident that when it happened. But I do know the whole story and around it. And those guys, they ended up taking or they took off. The guy shot me was a laptop, a computer, a tv, my wallet and one or two

Sevan Matossian (17:56):

Were your parents home?

Darren Thomas (17:58):

They were, yeah. Yeah. So they came at about 3:00 AM in the morning. My dad heard the alarm go off and he called me on the intercom and he said, you could see on the camera, he said, there’s some guys at the gate. So I obviously wanted

Sevan Matossian (18:18):

To And you were in the house?

Darren Thomas (18:19):

I was in the house. So I wanted to protect my family. Obviously I had a gun with me, but I don’t, so I had a double level bedroom. So when my dad found me, I was lying in the bedroom on my back. And so what happened, I think is that when I was going downstairs, I obviously thought that they were outside and not in the house yet, and they must have opened the door, my bedroom door into me. I got into a fight with him. I had scratches and bruises all over my arms. I mean, I was a big guy. I’d been fighting a strong guy. The guy stabbed me in the head with a screwdriver, and then he shot me point blank, showed me point blank in the chest and the bullet missed my heart by a millimeter because my heart was beating and it contracted when it went past and it opened up the gun.

Sevan Matossian (19:06):

He shot you with your gun or with his gun?

Darren Thomas (19:09):

No, with his gun. Yeah, with his gun. So my gun wasn’t fired, so I don’t know what they took it, but it wasn’t fired. I think that must have surprised me. And yeah, it missed my heart by millimeter hit my lung, ruptured my lung, hit the spine, and then the bone fragments went into the spinal cord and that’s what caused the damage. So when my dad found me, he thought I’d been shot in the head of the screwdriver, but luckily that was just superficial, so it didn’t go through. And then he had to rush me to the hospital because I was just losing too much blood. So they rushed me to the hospital.

Sevan Matossian (19:47):

How close did you come to dying?

Darren Thomas (19:49):

Well, he had to get me out and get me to the hospital. If I’d waited for the ambulance, I would’ve lost too much blood.

Sevan Matossian (19:57):

Did he see the bad guys? Did he see them when he came and got you? Were they still in the house?

Darren Thomas (20:00):

No, no, they were gone. They had left. So he was upstairs with my mom, obviously to stay there with her and I intercepted. And so they had left.

Sevan Matossian (20:14):

It’s a miracle he got you in the car, dude. It’s a miracle he was able to move you.

Darren Thomas (20:18):

Yeah, eventually there was a guy that came from the armed response company and they helped him get me into the car and then they took me to the, but the fact that it missed my heart like that, I always just say, it is a miracle that I’m here and I got a second chance trying to make it count.

Sevan Matossian (20:40):

They never caught the guys.

Darren Thomas (20:41):

Well, that’s the thing. They got fingerprints. They found the car that they crashed down the road, they tracked back to a house that they were staying in, but the excuse was that’s being sublet and it’s not their house and never found it. So that’s kind of what you expect, unfortunately, because normally the guys, that’s why they do it. They do it because the they’s very seldom get caught. And if they do, it’s another thing. They get out, they get up a week later. Or if there’s always, I don’t know, many stories where people have been caught and stayed in jail for the time that they deserve, half the time they get off, they get let off on something. So it’s pretty bad when it comes to that.

Sevan Matossian (21:24):

So there is an acceptance of crime there, A level of acceptance.

Darren Thomas (21:30):

I mean, crime is just, if you live in Johannesburg, there’s places that are safe and there’s safe areas. I live in Cape Town, which is safer, safer, but if you live there, the chances are that someone who’s been hijacked them person, someone who’s been held at gunpoint in their car on the side of the road.

Sevan Matossian (21:54):

So it’s not rare. It’s not rare. Everyone knows somebody.

Darren Thomas (21:56):

It’s not rare. No, it’s not rare. I think everybody knows somebody. And I mean, no, my story, if I tell people that I was shot in a house robbery, it is like, wow, oh my gosh and everything. But it’s not a rare thing that you’ve been, so a lot of people get held up. Obviously we know a few people will be shocked, but kind of. So yeah, it’s not a rare thing. Unfortunately, Cape Town is a lot safer. It really is a lot safer to be there. And the violence is not as, you don’t have that violent crime, you’re more of a crime where the guys will come into your house when you not there. But in Joburg, they want to come to your house when you are there, they want your safe keys, they want your cars, they want everything.

Sevan Matossian (22:45):

When I was there, beautiful. Johannesburg was a beautiful city, but there was no one out on the streets. And there were coffee shops and there were all these things. And I go, how come there’s not people sitting outside? There’re like, you can’t do that here. And I go, what do you mean? They’re like, if you’re sitting outside with your laptop at a table, someone will just come by and take it. I was like, no shit.

Darren Thomas (23:03):

Yes. I think if you go in general, if you have sitting at a restaurant or coffee shop, it’s cool. You can, but depending on what area you’re in, but it’s not something you don’t leave your cell phone at the table and walk away from a door, something like it, because it’ll be gone in seconds. Someone walking past will grab it or something. So it’s a lot more, you’ve got to be a lot more aware now. We landed here and last night I had to just go to the store just around the corner. And I don’t, I’m feeling, is it okay for me to just roll by myself in the streets on the sidewalk? I dunno if it’s safe or not, because I wouldn’t do it back home.

Sevan Matossian (23:43):

Yeah, I think or land. When I think of Orlando, unless you’re in just a really horrible spot, I think Orlando is fine.

Darren Thomas (23:50):

Yeah, no, I mean I saw a lot of people walking around, so it kind of made me feel okay,

Sevan Matossian (23:55):

Savory. But we do have cities in our country that are headed down that path. It, it’s so wild to see it because we didn’t even have this a few years ago. South Africa is a warning to America of what things will be if we don’t Correct. And basically what happened is our civilization has declared war on our police officers. It sucks. Yeah.

Darren Thomas (24:14):

Yeah, that sucks. It sucks because I’ve seen, I mean, you watch, you see on social media and the news and you see what’s going on and you watch, the cops in the US have always been like, they don’t take anything but our cops. And there’s a select few that are different and there are some good ones, but

Sevan Matossian (24:38):

We have good cops are just scared. They’re not getting the support from the society. They’re just scared.

Darren Thomas (24:43):

Well, in general, I think if you had to have a set of cops and there’s an armed robbery in place, and I think they’d almost kind of take a bit longer to get there on purpose because they don’t want be caught in fire with these guys.

Sevan Matossian (24:56):

Yeah, I don’t blame ’em. Hey, if you would’ve shot those guys in your house, would you have gotten in trouble?

Darren Thomas (25:01):

So it would’ve been a tough one. Yeah, because if you, I’ve known guys who have actually had to self-defense shot, and then it’s a big thing. Oh, you’ve shot the guy, but he hasn’t actually done anything to you or that type of thing. But yeah, there’s ways, but I think it becomes a difficult one so you can, and get in trouble. Look, if it’s self-defense and you’ve got that many guys, and it’s almost like you’d have to stage it being worse than it was depending on how bad it was. But yeah, it can get tricky.

Sevan Matossian (25:32):

We had a guy here in the United States, it was a big case. It’s kind of crazy. He was on the ground, he had been knocked down. He was a white guy, and another white guy with a skateboard was coming at him trying to beat him and yelling racial epithets. And this guy had just been released from prison the day before for Sodomizing, like a dozen 7-year-old boys. I’m not even making this shit up. And he told the guy not to fuck with them and get away from ’em. And he finally shot this guy. I heard

Darren Thomas (26:02):

This story. Yes.

Sevan Matossian (26:04):

And they tried to fucking try this guy.

Darren Thomas (26:07):

I saw that. Yeah, that’s crazy.

Sevan Matossian (26:09):

Oh, and it was just white on white crime, which they were trying to charge him like a racist. It was fucking, yeah, this country’s lost its mind. But hey, you’re in a good state. I think right when the pandemic happened, their governor, what’s his name? DeSantis. What’s his first name?

Darren Thomas (26:27):

Ron.

Sevan Matossian (26:28):

Ron. Ron. John Ronnie passed a law basically saying if someone enters your house, you can put it to ’em. Yeah. That’s cool. That’s cool.

Darren Thomas (26:39):

It’s cool having that, at least you know that. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (26:43):

So that happens when you come to, do you remember coming to consciousness in the hospital?

Darren Thomas (26:51):

In the hospital? I think I woke up about a day later and I woke up and I had just obviously drips and all wires and everything everywhere. So I just try to pull everything out and my mom and dad and my girlfriend were standing there and I was trying to just get rid of stuff and they were trying to stop me, but I obviously didn’t know what had happened. And then they had to try and they had to, I think they increased, put me back to sleep. So when I woke up again, I was tied to the bed, and that was even worse because I was like, no, wait, now I’m restricted. I just wanted to tear everything apart. And they didn’t explain to me, no, you need these things to breathe and this is all,

Sevan Matossian (27:35):

You got a punctured lung, a hole in your head, and a wound very close to your heart.

Darren Thomas (27:39):

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So you had all the drains, obviously, to help with the lung and the breathing and that. So those are the things I was trying to pull up. And obviously I had oxygen and that type of stuff. So when I woke up, and that was the first thing I remember. And then, yeah, then I think after that it was just the doctor, they kind of said to you, this is what’s happened. Obviously you can feel it, you can’t feel certain things, but then the doctor’s like, this is what’s happened. And they said, well, you still have swelling. It could still go down. And so we don’t know yet, but that’s what they tell you initially. But to me, I mean, that was my absolute worst nightmare, something like that to happen. It’s just like I never ever thought that that would be, I actually, I met a guy who was in an off-road, motocross accident, and I used to see him in the gym all the time, used to cycle past my house. And when I saw him, he was in a chair, he’d broken his neck and he was in the physio. And I saw this guy, and for the first time when I saw him and he had this big smile on his face, and I looked in and I was like, I spoke to him. And when I left there, I was like, that is probably my worst nightmare if that happened to me. Rather killing. And that’s,

Sevan Matossian (29:00):

Oh wow, you remember having that thought, seeing him lose his legs and you’re like, fuck that. I ain’t doing that. I

Darren Thomas (29:05):

Do. Yeah, yeah. And so when it happened, it was like, worst nightmare come true. And then you’re just like, because it’s what happens and you’re a rugby player and key boxer, those things, then what happens now? So had, from the beginning, I always had the faith that things were going to come right. And I’d get out of the hospital before when I’d come out and you come out fighting and you’re walking and that the typical movie where the guy goes to the rehab and he gets up and he’s strong afterwards. I had that for three months when I was in the rehab. I had that at least I think I had that to drive me, said tomorrow’s going to be better and it’s going to be better. And yes, there were tough days and I struggled a lot, but those were the things that kept me through just believing that tomorrow would be better and I’d get up.

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