Sevan Matossian (00:01):
Bam. We’re live. Jeffrey Birchfield with the bench press video. Holy cow. Awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome. How’s my audio? I am working out some kinks. This is the first setup with these channels, but I feel good about it. Look at you, Jeffrey. That’s like a prison photo. Look at that shit. Lemme see where the guest is. Where is this young man today? We got a comic on. We haven’t had one of these in a long time. Carter, is he coming on? Oh my goodness. Carter, where are you? Let’s see where he is at. Let’s see where he is at. See you in a bit. Okay, good. I text him. I’d love to see you right now or two minutes ago.
(01:01):
You guys want to hear a story? Sorry, my computer had to do an update. No worries, no worries, worries. No, no, no worries. Shit, I forgot to send the note. Maybe I should check to see what this guy’s name is before he comes on. He had this video he put up on his Instagram, Dockerty Carter. Dockerty Dockerty is that is really his last name. Dockerty. What a great last name. Dockerty. He put up this video. I’m going to show it to you when he comes on. He is so funny. The delivery, just the whole, I’m really curious if he’s really like this or if that’s part of his shtick. Remember when I had Hans Kim on?
(01:52):
He really is. He really is like how he is in his standup routine. Remember when we had him on, it was a trip Scaled Nation. Good morning. I went to the Scaled Nation seminar up at CrossFit Diablo about two months ago. I highly recommend it one day course with Athena Perez. I forget the other lady’s name. Crazy PAC of Information nonstop. By the way, those of you who are always asking what my kids do, my kids do Kon, they don’t sponsor me, but they should sponsor me. It’s basically they give my wife the tools to teach my kids how to read, write, math, math. It’s pretty crazy. She’s been doing it with them since they’ve been three. I think you’re supposed to start at four and it starts off. For those of you who want to understand how basic it is, I know some of you are probably crazy scared to homeschool your kids.
(02:55):
It really starts off with just like, Hey, hold the pencil. Like day one, hold the pencil. Okay, your kid’s holding the pencil, okay, they pass, and day two is hold the pencil and hold it over your head. I mean, it is in progressions. Eventually it’s just draw a line. It’s not just right away, day one, seven plus seven it it’s awesome. Whole progressions. I don’t know if the phone line is working today. I guess we’ll figure that out soon too. I just set up in a new location. I’m at the ca peptides, luxurious, luxurious beachfront property. I’ve been texting all morning with my agent friend, not my secret agent friend Tyson Bet, but my agent friend. It’s pretty funny. Pretty funny. Okay, Carter’s coming on. He’s rebooting his computer. I want to tell you a story real quick. I made this video yesterday and I didn’t post it to my Instagram and it was me talking about the importance of choosing the right woman and that the hundred best moments of my life have been with my, oh, nope, not telling you the story.
(04:05):
Here we go. Look at Carter’s. He’s adjusting his camera. He’s got a sweatshirt on. He’s not in his car. I mean, that’s a good start. He deserves better than my location, but okay, here we go. He’s fingering something. Oh wow, guys, this is going to be a first. This is crazy. He is using a coffee cup to prop his camera with a cord. That’s not long enough. Holy shit, guys. This is going to be crazy. Okay, ready? Here we go. We’re bringing Carter on. Everyone be nice to him. Everyone be nice to him. He used to play sports. I don’t know if he does anymore, so we know he moves around. He’s physical. Oh shit. He might have a broken arm. Okay, here we go. Carter Dockerty.
Carter Dockerty (04:46):
What’s up?
Sevan Matossian (04:47):
What’s up, Playa?
Carter Dockerty (04:48):
How are you,
Sevan Matossian (04:49):
Dude? Do you have your phone propped on your coffee
Carter Dockerty (04:53):
With a candle?
Sevan Matossian (04:54):
Dude? Is it a Jew candle? Like a menorah candle?
Carter Dockerty (04:59):
Nope, just a straight up. Yankee.
Sevan Matossian (05:03):
Yankee. I got a whole house full of Jew candles. I’m Armenian myself.
Carter Dockerty (05:07):
Oh yeah. Nice.
Sevan Matossian (05:09):
But I got three Jew kids. You impregnate a woman, you get a Jew woman, you get Jew kids. It’s kind of cool. Yeah,
Carter Dockerty (05:16):
Yeah. That’s wild that you can start as a non-Jewish man and produce Jewish offspring.
Sevan Matossian (05:23):
I still have my foreskin. I know you Yankees. Don’t I know that? Wow. I knew that through. I’m Armenian. Look at me. I’m Armenian. Look at me. Look at me.
Carter Dockerty (05:35):
You were born in Armenia?
Sevan Matossian (05:37):
No, Oakland
Carter Dockerty (05:39):
Close.
Sevan Matossian (05:40):
I was born in Africa. Oakland.
Carter Dockerty (05:44):
Jesus.
Sevan Matossian (05:46):
Be nice, Debbie. Hey, what happened to your arm? Dude?
Carter Dockerty (05:49):
Car accident? I broke it,
Sevan Matossian (05:52):
Dude. Carter, I’m really nervous. I’m so envious and excited. I’m not nervous. Yeah, I’m nervous about you. I’m so excited to have you on, but I would love to see your face.
Carter Dockerty (06:05):
Oh yeah. I just realized it was not propped properly.
Sevan Matossian (06:09):
You, man. Okay, here we go.
Carter Dockerty (06:11):
Take your Jesus.
Sevan Matossian (06:13):
That nose is Johann Lopez. A guy with a fucked up German name and Mexican name mixed together says that nose is Jewish. I’m an Armenian dude with a Jewish nose. What can I say? The reason why I am so nervous is because you’re living my life. Every time I have one of you guys on who’s fucking doing it, I’m like, God, I’m 51 and I have a million excuses why I don’t do comedy, and I just love watching your Instagram and watching you just go after it, dude. So first of all, congratulations. You are the fucking man and I’m living vicariously through you.
Carter Dockerty (06:53):
Thanks. Oh geez. I just dropped it again. Yeah, comedy’s pretty sick at 51.
Sevan Matossian (07:04):
Go gentle on me buddy. Go. Gentle. Jesus Christ. Maybe you have to do the show like this. You have to lay down and put your
Carter Dockerty (07:11):
Yeah,
Sevan Matossian (07:12):
No, I’m joking. I’m
Carter Dockerty (07:14):
Joking. I’m going to move to the office.
Sevan Matossian (07:17):
Office. You don’t have an office? Whatcha are you talking about? You’re 21 years old. How old are you?
Carter Dockerty (07:23):
22.
Sevan Matossian (07:25):
22? Yeah. You don’t have an office. Please don’t tell me you’re too young to have an office. Is it your dad’s office? Do you live at home?
Carter Dockerty (07:31):
No, I live with my girlfriend. She’s mad at me. I was in the living room.
Sevan Matossian (07:38):
Is she really liberal? Is that part true?
Carter Dockerty (07:42):
That is true, yes. Very true.
Sevan Matossian (07:44):
Wow, that’s impressive.
Carter Dockerty (07:46):
Yeah, so we moved out to Chicago because she’s going to med school right now. That’s what really prompted the move. We were living together in Cincinnati before.
Sevan Matossian (07:58):
Does she believe in healthy eating and physical movement is the best way. Lifestyle choices are the best way to along and healthy life and to avoid any medical intervention at all, by all means necessary.
Carter Dockerty (08:11):
I mean, I guess, I don’t know. It’s kind of hard with med school. You study a lot.
Sevan Matossian (08:22):
Sean, Roddy Carter. Is everyone trying to set up for a Zoom job interview?
Carter Dockerty (08:28):
Oh god.
Sevan Matossian (08:30):
Better be dumb. You better do it better than Carter’s doing it if you want a job.
Carter Dockerty (08:33):
Yeah, I’ve interviewed for a few things over Zoom and I’ve never gotten one of ’em because as you can see, I’m pretty bad at setting it up.
Sevan Matossian (08:45):
Do you own a computer, Carter?
Carter Dockerty (08:47):
I do own a computer and I was turning it on and it updated and then it restarted three times for some reason. So I started to panic for a bit.
Sevan Matossian (08:58):
Oh, you don’t seem like you’re panicking. And are you on an iPhone?
Carter Dockerty (09:02):
Yeah, I’m on an iPhone currently.
Sevan Matossian (09:04):
And what is your computer? Is it a Apple laptop?
Carter Dockerty (09:08):
No, it’s a razor blade. It’s like a game and laptop.
Sevan Matossian (09:12):
No shit.
Carter Dockerty (09:14):
But yeah, it’s good for editing and stuff.
Sevan Matossian (09:17):
Like what? You use Premier?
Carter Dockerty (09:20):
No. Well, I use Premier sometimes and then I also use Sony Vegas as another program. It’s pretty
Sevan Matossian (09:27):
Gotcha. I know that one. Hey, I’m going to play this clip from your Instagram that has a 4,500 comments. It’s crazy. My entire YouTube. No, that’s my entire Instagram. All my posts, like 1200 of my posts don’t even have that many comments combined. Okay, here we go. I haven’t shown the audience this yet. Okay, here we go. Where are you here? Actually, before I play this, do you remember where you were?
Carter Dockerty (10:00):
Yeah. Go. Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati. It’s a really, really good comedy club plays rules,
Sevan Matossian (10:07):
Man. This rule deserves to, deserves to be said. And this joke deserves to be said in Los Angeles, Cincinnati didn’t deserve to you. Overperformed. Okay, here we go. Last
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Time I went home, my sister Madison, she decided to tell the entire family that she’s only into black guys. Didn’t know yet to come out with that. I thought you could just be fat. Well, this is going to be a good show.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
This
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Is really fun.
Sevan Matossian (10:51):
Tell me, can you just give me the backstory on the joke? All my jokes, it’s like something’s happening in life and then I kind of twist it and then try it out on my wife. Is that what happened? She actually came home and said something and then you’re like, oh, oh fuck. Oh my God, where’s my pencil and paper? This is crazy.
Carter Dockerty (11:12):
Yeah, to the tune of that, I was just like, I told that story to a few other comics. She did that a while ago. She said something like that
Sevan Matossian (11:22):
Comic, that’s the liberal thing to do, right? To be in the black dude. Your sister’s liberal too, right?
Carter Dockerty (11:27):
No, she’s
Sevan Matossian (11:27):
Not. Oh, oh, okay.
Carter Dockerty (11:29):
Not at all. It’s very funny. Yeah, I don’t know. My brother and sister are not very liberal at all. But my sister said that. I told that story to a few comics and they told me to write a bit about it, but also I was like, I don’t know. Even the setup just kind of sounds a little wild to say. It might derail a set. So even now I still can’t really do that joke very often.
Sevan Matossian (11:56):
Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me? When you put that on your Instagram where you’re like, holy shit this. Do you know when you watch that? I’m scrolling and I see that and I’m fucking on the floor dying. I send that to 20 of my friends. I’m like, dude, because I’ve been to Fat Girl Dance Night at a bar in Ohio or something after an arm wrestling tournament I was filming and it’s 30 huge white women and 15 just fucking studly black dudes.
Carter Dockerty (12:25):
Wait, that’s a real theme night,
Sevan Matossian (12:27):
Bro. I mean it’s not themed. They’re not fat white girls, studly black dudes come together. The black dudes just come. They know it’s big. The theme is Big Girl Night. You know what I mean? It is that like
Carter Dockerty (12:39):
The bar advertises big girls come through.
Sevan Matossian (12:42):
Yes, yes.
Carter Dockerty (12:44):
That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.
Sevan Matossian (12:46):
Yes. No, no, what you said is the crazy thing. Okay, so really that’s not a go-to in every set Carter.
Carter Dockerty (12:54):
No. If it’s a type of show that I know that type of material will turn them against me, I’m not really going to do it. What’s the point of bombing? But I’ll do it if it’s going to be a good room for it.
Sevan Matossian (13:13):
So there is a crowd that doesn’t like that joke. There’s Joe Biden jokes and Trump jokes and you know what city you’re in?
Carter Dockerty (13:21):
Yeah. I mean it just, I’ve done it a few times on shows and then it’s just thrown it off and the crowd just, I’ll get big laughs from a few people, but then a lot, 60 to 70% of the rooms sometimes will not laugh and that’s when it goes bad. Wow. So you kind of have to, which is wild because on Instagram it was kind of the other way around. There was probably seven people that commented being mad about it. And then the reason that there were so many other comments is people just went at people that commented that.
Sevan Matossian (14:03):
I mean it from the science perspective, it’s a highly predictive truth. Do you know what I mean? Let me give you other one. So insurance companies charge people like you more money to drive than me because you drive faster than me. You have more testosterone than me and you smoke weeded more liberally than me. A black dude’s like big girls. That’s not a racist thing. That’s just just a fact. How could anyone get mad at that? No one’s like, how dare you charge those 18-year-old boys more for insurance? You know what I mean? It’s like, yeah, we were all 18-year-old boys. We know what we do. I’m not in denial. Yeah, you should have charged me even more. I was a fucked hard.
Carter Dockerty (14:53):
Yeah, I just got into an accident.
Sevan Matossian (14:56):
Was that your fault?
Carter Dockerty (14:58):
No, it was like stop traffic. So I did have to slam on my brakes hard.
Sevan Matossian (15:04):
Were you texting?
Carter Dockerty (15:06):
No,
Sevan Matossian (15:07):
But they did ask you that, but if you were texting you also wouldn’t tell me because it’s being recorded.
Carter Dockerty (15:14):
Yep. So yeah, insurance is pretty expensive. I don’t have a car at the moment though, so I got to get a new one.
Sevan Matossian (15:24):
Did the cop ask to see your phone first thing when you pulled up?
Carter Dockerty (15:28):
No,
Sevan Matossian (15:31):
I was driving one time on the freeway. Corridor.
Carter Dockerty (15:34):
Yeah, that happened. Yeah.
Sevan Matossian (15:36):
And the highway patrol pulls up next to me, California Highway patrol, and I look over and he goes, I pull over and he goes, were you texting? I’m like, this is when the iPhone had the button. And I’m like, Nope. And he goes, can I see your phone? I’m like, sure, no problem. And he pushes the button in this pattern. I dunno what he does. And he goes, look, I just pushed your button. When you push your button like this, it shows you the last app you were using and the last app you were using was your text. We’re like fucking a, you know what I mean?
Carter Dockerty (16:08):
Dang, that’s crazy.
Sevan Matossian (16:12):
So I got a ticket, so that’s why I asked if the first thing he did was so now if you ever get pulled over and you think you were texting, quickly swipe to something. Choose four different apps. You know what I
Carter Dockerty (16:21):
Mean? And yeah, you can make it go away too.
Sevan Matossian (16:26):
Yeah,
Carter Dockerty (16:27):
Hopefully.
Sevan Matossian (16:30):
Crazy.
Carter Dockerty (16:31):
Yeah, man. This is an early podcast that we got going on today.
Sevan Matossian (16:40):
I got up at 5:00 AM to do the 6:00 AM podcast. This show happens every morning at 7:00 AM
Carter Dockerty (16:46):
That’s sick. I’ve been doing
Sevan Matossian (16:47):
It for pretty much three years and the vast majority of my guests are CrossFitters, but occasionally once a week or twice a week or as often as I can, I’ll have on other people. I have UFC fighters. I think the last comic I had on was Hans Kim, the Asian guy.
Carter Dockerty (17:12):
Oh yeah, I know.
Sevan Matossian (17:13):
Out of Texas. Yeah,
Carter Dockerty (17:15):
I know who Hans Kim is. Of course.
Sevan Matossian (17:17):
That was really weird. He’s weird as fuck.
Carter Dockerty (17:19):
Yeah, that’s
Sevan Matossian (17:20):
Fun. Very weird. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. Yeah, it’s fun. It was fun.
Carter Dockerty (17:24):
Yeah, that’s a lot of fun. But the CrossFit stuff, so what do you do exactly with the CrossFit stuff?
Sevan Matossian (17:34):
Just stir the pot.
Carter Dockerty (17:36):
Just stir the pot. Okay. Yeah,
Sevan Matossian (17:38):
Yeah. You know what I mean? If someone was exercising and their top came down and a nipple came out, I would highlight it.
Carter Dockerty (17:45):
Oh, nice. That rules, right?
Sevan Matossian (17:48):
No one wants to interview the fittest dwarf in the world. I have ’em on my show. You know what I mean? Stuff like
Carter Dockerty (17:52):
That. Oh, that’s a lot of fun.
Sevan Matossian (17:53):
Yeah, the fittest guy in the world who hunts bears that everyone’s judging. He kills animals. I have ’em on stuff like that. I had a flat earth on. That was crazy. People didn’t like that. A lot of people don’t like that.
Carter Dockerty (18:05):
Oh no.
Sevan Matossian (18:06):
Very controversial.
Carter Dockerty (18:08):
That sounds like a guy that’s got a lot of stuff going on or actually not a lot of stuff going on. Probably
Sevan Matossian (18:15):
Both.
Carter Dockerty (18:16):
He can probably go on for a while.
Sevan Matossian (18:19):
Carter, can you give me the details of the accident a little bit and how you broke your arm?
Carter Dockerty (18:24):
Just the airbag coming out is what really made the brake happen.
Sevan Matossian (18:31):
So you’re driving car’s in front of you, slow down, you slow down, someone hits you from the back,
Carter Dockerty (18:37):
And then we went into the median because it pulled off to the side.
Sevan Matossian (18:43):
And is your arm broken?
Carter Dockerty (18:44):
Yeah, the ulna.
Sevan Matossian (18:47):
So tell me what that’s like. You’re holding the steering wheel and the airbag comes out.
Carter Dockerty (18:51):
Yeah. And you kind of react to block it I guess, for some reason and then the impact. Yeah.
Sevan Matossian (19:01):
And do you know right away, does it hurt or are you having such an adrenaline rush that you don’t know?
Carter Dockerty (19:07):
Kind of A little bit of both. You kind of know that I had broken my leg when I was a kid and so you’d know that feeling. Have you ever broken a bone?
Sevan Matossian (19:16):
No, sir.
Carter Dockerty (19:17):
Oh really? Wow. 51? Yeah, I don’t know. It’s kind of healed pretty quick. I would be, I feel like I hope this is the last bone I ever break because the healing process on this one kind stinks, but when I was a
Sevan Matossian (19:32):
Kid, is that something in your wrist? Is your ulna something in here?
Carter Dockerty (19:34):
No, the ulna is the bone on the outside of your forearm.
Sevan Matossian (19:37):
Oh, the long
Carter Dockerty (19:38):
Skinny one? Yeah, I think it’s the thicker one. It’s the ulna and the radius. But
Sevan Matossian (19:44):
Someone will tell us in the comments very
Carter Dockerty (19:46):
Shortly this you probably have a pretty anatomy inclined audience.
Sevan Matossian (19:53):
Ulna. I’m looking at the picture here. Which bone is the ulna? The ulna is one of the two bones in the form. The other is your radius, the ulna on the pinky side of your forearm. Oh, that’s nice. Okay.
Carter Dockerty (20:06):
Yeah. Alright.
Sevan Matossian (20:08):
You can’t see mine. My forearms are so massive, but in a regular man, you’d probably see some outlines of the bone. All 155 pounds of me.
Carter Dockerty (20:16):
God, that’s been the big thing is I have not been able to really work out at all since I broke my arm.
Sevan Matossian (20:22):
Yeah, that’s depressing. Do you have a job?
Carter Dockerty (20:27):
Yeah, I’m a server during the day. I just do it 20 hours a week, but where I serve at a restaurant in downtown Chicago.
Sevan Matossian (20:36):
Can you say the name of it?
Carter Dockerty (20:37):
It’s called the Exchange. It’s a cool place, but just there because then I’m by the train, so whatever shows I have later that night, hit the spots from the train.
Sevan Matossian (20:50):
The train is like you’re by an actual train or that’s the name of a place where you do standup?
Carter Dockerty (20:58):
No, by the actual train to get to the spots that I do at night.
Sevan Matossian (21:02):
Oh, you chose your job because of its proximity to a subway so that you could go to other places
Carter Dockerty (21:08):
Just because in Chicago the train systems ran out of this place called The Loop where all the trains meet, and so I just got a job near there during the day so that at night I could go wherever I need to.
Sevan Matossian (21:21):
You’re going to probably like this, you know who else comes on this show regularly? The quarterback for the Chicago Bears. Tyson Beget has been on the show 12 years. Oh
Carter Dockerty (21:32):
Wow. That’s sick.
Sevan Matossian (21:34):
Yeah. That’s cool, right?
Carter Dockerty (21:35):
Yeah, that’s very neat. I
Sevan Matossian (21:37):
Think he’s the same age as you. He’s either 22 or 23 2.
Carter Dockerty (21:41):
God, that’s very depressing.
Sevan Matossian (21:45):
No, dude, you’re doing it, Carter. Yeah,
Carter Dockerty (21:48):
You’re
Sevan Matossian (21:48):
Fucking doing it, dude.
Carter Dockerty (21:50):
I guess
Sevan Matossian (21:51):
I have some really bad news for you.
Carter Dockerty (21:53):
What’s up?
Sevan Matossian (21:54):
No matter how successful you get, if you become the biggest comic in the world, it’s never going to get better than what you’re doing now. You’re doing it. Are you
Carter Dockerty (22:01):
Sure?
Sevan Matossian (22:02):
Yes.
Carter Dockerty (22:03):
I got a broken arm and I’m serving at a restaurant
Sevan Matossian (22:06):
Every day. Dude, dude, you got
Carter Dockerty (22:07):
Me young. But the comedy, the real going around was cool. It got me some gigs this year and we’ll see what else.
Sevan Matossian (22:18):
What got you? Some gigs, what got you some gigs. Tell me
Carter Dockerty (22:21):
The real. Yeah, so it got some nice gigs for the year, but I’m still on the real grind part. The starting part of comedy at the moment.
Sevan Matossian (22:34):
How long have you been doing it?
Carter Dockerty (22:36):
Four and a half years. I started right after high school or right at the end of my senior year of high school.
Sevan Matossian (22:44):
Can you tell me about your first up, the first time you were ever and maybe build it up a little bit. I want to know before you went up, was it like two years of fuck, should I do this? Should I do this? Fuck I, well
Carter Dockerty (22:59):
Kind of because, so there was a comedy club that’s like 10 minutes from my high school in Akron, Ohio. That’s where I’m from and it’s called The Funny Stop. And so kids from my high school tried it and it would be a big thing where kids from my school would just go out and watch whoever was trying for the first time. There was probably five or six people that tried it before me and we would go all the time. They would’ve open mic every Wednesday and then eventually you would just see enough people kind of go up there and bomb pretty hard and you just want to give it a shot. And then I went up there.
Sevan Matossian (23:36):
So you didn’t want to be a comic, you just saw other people bomb and you were like, I could do this.
Carter Dockerty (23:41):
No, I had always been super into standup comedy. I watched everything on Netflix. I went to see shows when I was in middle school and stuff with my mom, so I was always deep into it. But actually trying it, you never really know how and then you get into Joe Rogan and stuff like that, just listening. I used to deliver pizzas and listen to that all day and so that’s kind of what prompted them talking about starting to do standup and then going and watching open mic night at the comedy club. Eventually just get the balls to go up and do it.
Sevan Matossian (24:16):
What was your prep like? Is it six months of like, God, I’m going to write the best set ever? Or is it like you’re procrastinating in the week before you’re in a panic?
Carter Dockerty (24:24):
Well, when I started start thinking about doing it, I just started watching a bunch of standup and then the first time you do it, you kind of just mimic the people that you really liked when you first start. And so it was pretty based on other comedian stuff. So it was a pretty hacky set my first time and then eventually do it long enough that you start to find out how you actually write jokes and that takes a while and stand up.
Sevan Matossian (24:56):
So that first night you get up there, how long are you responsible for keeping the crowd busy, keeping the crowd entertained?
Carter Dockerty (25:04):
Five minutes is usually always your first time standard.
Sevan Matossian (25:09):
And so you go up there and are you just shitting bricks?
Carter Dockerty (25:13):
Kind of. I mean I had a little bit of amping up because I had brought 15 people out and that was half. You’re crazy. The audience?
Sevan Matossian (25:23):
Yeah. Well,
Carter Dockerty (25:25):
I don’t know. I had high schooler energy. I just thought I was being cool, I guess.
Sevan Matossian (25:32):
Yeah, so
Carter Dockerty (25:33):
I guess I wasn’t as nervous. It was just a bunch of people I knew there.
Sevan Matossian (25:38):
So there was a little bit of ignorance as bliss. When I used to get on stage in high school, people would think I was brave and you’re right, I’d never thought of that. It was just that I was belligerent. I was a belligerent kid full of semen.
Carter Dockerty (25:50):
You’re just fully amped up on testosterone and you do. I did pretty well. So that gave me a false sense of hope. Then I just went off to Mike’s then saw how brutal comedy truly is and then did that for a few years.
Sevan Matossian (26:09):
What did you do for a few years? I
Carter Dockerty (26:11):
Bombed at Mike’s.
Sevan Matossian (26:14):
But you kept, tell me about your first bomb. What’s a bomb like?
Carter Dockerty (26:18):
Man, you just go up with new ideas that you think are going to be hilarious and you go up to a room full of comics usually, and you deliver these jokes as hard as you can and nobody responds at all.
Sevan Matossian (26:32):
And it’s a room full of your peers
Carter Dockerty (26:34):
And it’s a room full of your peers. It’s tough because Mike, it’s hard to draw an audience for. So a lot of times it’s just other comics and so that’s what starting out in comedy really is just going up at some brutal stuff like that.
Sevan Matossian (26:48):
A room full of comics. It’s like a room full of filmmakers. You’re with people who pretend like they want you to succeed, but really they just want you to fail.
Carter Dockerty (26:56):
Yeah, truly.
Sevan Matossian (26:58):
It’s like
Carter Dockerty (27:01):
God, it’s wild. At least film. They have unions and stuff where they can agree on things, comics, they’ll always undercut each other.
Sevan Matossian (27:14):
In these four and a half years, how many ups have you had?
Carter Dockerty (27:17):
Ups?
Sevan Matossian (27:18):
Yeah. How many times have you climbed up a few stairs and stood in front of people with a mic in front of you?
Carter Dockerty (27:24):
Oh goodness. I couldn’t even tell you the number. I think my phone was on full. I used to record every set audio and I think it went full at 400 something.
Sevan Matossian (27:35):
Okay. So God, that makes me so happy for you because Hans was saying that he was living in a van in New York doing two shows a day for over a year or some shit. And I was like, what? You did 600 shows a year? He is like, no, 730. I’m like, what the
Carter Dockerty (27:53):
Fuck? That’s kind of how it is. I mean I didn’t probably do that many, but in a year,
Sevan Matossian (28:00):
What’s the longest? So this would be a question I’d ask a CrossFitter, what’s the longest you’ve gone without working out? And someone’s like, I didn’t work out for three days once. And I’ll be like, really? And they’re like, well, I ran a few miles every day. What’s the longest you think you’ve gone without an up in four years?
Carter Dockerty (28:19):
Goodness. I’ve had things that have taken me away for two weeks.
Sevan Matossian (28:23):
No shit.
Carter Dockerty (28:25):
Yeah. Do you feel
Sevan Matossian (28:26):
Rust building? Does that make you nervous?
Carter Dockerty (28:28):
Oh yeah, that definitely. But I think, I don’t know, I enjoy a reset sometimes when you’re really grinding it out and then you just kind of fully go off and then you start backing the grind. Then I don’t know. You develop new habits, you figure new things out, I feel. Do you ever reset a program when you’re working out?
Sevan Matossian (28:53):
No, but I understand I never want to miss a day of doing a show. And like yesterday I missed a day I was traveling and it’s very rare that normally I’ll come home and I’ll just do one at night to make up for it. And I didn’t. But it did help for today’s show. I was so excited to get up, even though I had to get up at five, I was still like, fuck you, I’m going to hang with this crew. So I get the feeling. So maybe the way I was interpreting what you’re saying is you take two weeks off and you get a little butterflies back. That’s important.
Carter Dockerty (29:24):
Yeah. You miss it. And then, I dunno, you come at it with new ideas.
Sevan Matossian (29:31):
It’s like being away from your girlfriend for a week and the first thing you do is you go down on her and it’s like before you had gone down on her in a month, but now all of a sudden that’s all you want to do because you away from her for a second like that. Yeah. That’s a good simile. Right?
Carter Dockerty (29:45):
That is a very good analogy.
Sevan Matossian (29:48):
Metaphor. Thank you. Thank you. Oh man, my audience appreciates that they want everything. They’re very crass and wild go. They want everything to be about eating at the Y everywhere, everything.
The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.
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