Sevan Matossian (00:01):
Bam. We’re live. No plan for today’s show. No UFC, no notes. Just my phone. Someone sending me Twitter. Hi Kim.
Caleb Beaver (00:15):
Hi, good morning.
Sevan Matossian (00:18):
Oh shit.
Caleb Beaver (00:23):
C followers
Caleb Beaver (00:26):
Across this.
Sevan Matossian (00:28):
Wow. This guy looks like someone sent me a video. I thought it was Josh bridges, but it’s someone else? Marco, David, David, uh, Libby, Eric, Heidi, Jessica shit. Still not working on rumble. Uh, Kyle Landis, Adam. Good morning. Beautiful people. Jessica vals, Valenzuela. I think you would love it. Meeting meaning Heidi would like last night show. It was last night show was kind of crazy. I felt like we were all in pretty rare form. I don’t think, I don’t think we were. I don’t think we were rude at all. Maybe blunt.
Caleb Beaver (01:27):
<laugh>
Sevan Matossian (01:28):
The show was about, um, Hannah, Anna, Anna Hannah. Who’s this, uh, chick who used to be a dude who competes in CrossFit. What’s interesting. Is, is Hiller made it seem like it was a secret, like the 30 people he talked to said that, uh, Anna keeps it on the down low, but someone I know who was texting me the whole time saying no, no, nah, I trained, I trained with Hannah, Anna, and uh, she was totally open the whole time. Hannah, Anna, but Anna. Yeah. So
Caleb Beaver (02:04):
Why would they want to keep that a secret? She’s not like professional.
Sevan Matossian (02:07):
Well, she, I think she, maybe she did go to the games as a, as a oh shit. I gotta booger. I think, um, I think she did go to the games as a team. I can’t remember now. It was so long. We, it was like 12 hours ago, but I think she did go, oh, the caller was nuts too, right? Yeah. Cameron, I been, I, I I’ve thought about having him on the show. He’s wavered on whether he wants his face on the show. He just wanted to do an audio show. I really don’t wanna do that.
Caleb Beaver (02:40):
Nobody
Caleb Beaver (02:40):
Wants to stare at your face for that long. So
Sevan Matossian (02:43):
I just, I, I, it’s a dude, a dude, a friend of mine at, at, uh, Instagram friend of mine and a friend of mine. Who’s in my text messages now named Cameron has an only fans page and he’s got a really nice body and a huge cock. And last night he called in after the show, like we’re two hours into the show and he called in and was telling us like for 250 bucks, he, he puts his mouth on his penis or for $10. He does the splits naked. But basically did
Caleb Beaver (03:11):
He, did he remove his ribs to be able to put his mouth on his penis?
Sevan Matossian (03:13):
I didn’t think so. I don’t think so. I think he’s just got a long tongue and a huge font, a huge font is someone being restrained something’s happening. I hope it’s. I hope it’s healthy. Oh, I wonder if when I yawn, if like 20 listeners yawn, why are you guys listening today? There’s no, there’s no UFC tomorrow. The guests haven’t shown up. Uh, Justin told us yesterday, he’ll be driving. He’s driving to a high school reunion and I who the fuck knows where Darion is. These guys don’t take the show. Seriously. He said he is very flexible as male. He did say he can’t put his penis in his mouth in the morning. He says he has to be warmed up.
Caleb Beaver (04:00):
Interesting
Sevan Matossian (04:01):
Like me.
Caleb Beaver (04:02):
Is he like small or is he like a normal sized man?
Sevan Matossian (04:09):
No, no. He’s a big dude. He’s a big yolk dude. He’s like, I’ve seen pictures of him. I haven’t seen his penis, but I get the impression that he, he sends me, uh, texts, uh, with pictures of what people post on as only fans. And it’s just tons of dudes telling ’em how they’ve never seen a more beautiful and huge, uh, penis <laugh>. So
Caleb Beaver (04:34):
There’s a, we have to do these things called preta physicals. So like before somebody gets sent to prison, like we have to evaluate them and make sure that they’re not like shelving anything or shelling mean whatever there, or make sure that they don’t have any medical issues and all that stuff.
Sevan Matossian (04:54):
Yes.
Caleb Beaver (04:56):
And, uh, they were telling us that the part, the individual was coming in and we were like, oh, like, what are they being detained for? Um, and they told us that it was for like sending inappropriate photos to unwilling recipients or something like that.
Sevan Matossian (05:16):
Yeah. Yeah.
Caleb Beaver (05:17):
And I was like, oh, okay. That seems like aggressive. Like this
Sevan Matossian (05:21):
Story. I like this story
Caleb Beaver (05:22):
Or what, um, what, uh,
Sevan Matossian (05:26):
Why are, do you have to, do you have to do a medical procedure on someone who’s who sent Dick pics to someone? Or it’s not like related unrelated.
Caleb Beaver (05:34):
You’re just evaluating them. Okay. Like, you’re just saying like, do you have any illnesses? Do you have any medications you need refilled while you’re detained?
Sevan Matossian (05:40):
Okay. Okay. Um,
Caleb Beaver (05:42):
Stuff like that. Nothing super serious.
Sevan Matossian (05:45):
It’s just, do they never, do they normally tell you why the person was detained?
Caleb Beaver (05:49):
Um, usually they’ll give us like a vague answer. Okay. But like, if you, if there’s like a database that you can go to, like it’s public access, you can just look to see like what people are being, being court martialed for essentially.
Sevan Matossian (06:04):
Okay. Okay.
Caleb Beaver (06:05):
And, uh, so they told us like some vague answer. And so we went in the database and we’re like being nosy and looking, seeing like, what’s, what’s this all about.
Sevan Matossian (06:14):
Yeah. Yeah. I,
Caleb Beaver (06:15):
Um, and so that’s when we found out that he had been like sending inappropriate photos, we’re like, oh, that’s weird. So this guy shows up and he’s like, probably your height, but like 60, 70 pounds lighter. Like just this
Sevan Matossian (06:33):
Just, oh, I like it
Caleb Beaver (06:35):
Very,
Sevan Matossian (06:35):
Just this guine frail dude. Yeah.
Caleb Beaver (06:39):
Okay. So he shows up and we’re like, that’s weird. And blah, why would he, that just seems odd. Like maybe he was just trying to get some attention from some chick or something. Um, and then we go to do his cavity search. And so we’re like, alright, go ahead and like drop your drawers and like spin around and show us whether or not you have anything inside of you. Yeah. And as this guy drops his drawers and I’m telling you, he had the biggest shlong I’ve ever seen.
Sevan Matossian (07:08):
Wow. It was like, does he know it? Does he know it?
Caleb Beaver (07:12):
I don’t. I feel like he probably does. And that’s why he was like showing it off.
Sevan Matossian (07:17):
Like he’s proud of it. Yeah.
Justin Nunley (07:19):
What in the fuck are y’all talking about?
Sevan Matossian (07:22):
Wow. Wow. Was his name? Uh, Justin, uh, danger. Nunley
Caleb Beaver (07:28):
Actually, it was, yeah.
Justin Nunley (07:29):
I came in on a totally wrong part of that conver like, I’m sure the context behind that was okay. But like, I walked in to just that,
Sevan Matossian (07:39):
Hey, if I had, if I, if, if I did he swing it unnecessarily, was he swinging his penis a little bit?
Caleb Beaver (07:45):
No, but it did, like, we did have to like move it to like, just observe. Yeah. And it was like, it would just, oh, it was like, just down
Justin Nunley (07:54):
Your
Sevan Matossian (07:54):
Penis is so big that, that they have to move it to the side to see if you’re hiding something behind it, like a package or something. A person.
Caleb Beaver (08:04):
Yeah. It was crazy. Did
Justin Nunley (08:05):
Miss here?
Sevan Matossian (08:07):
Just, uh, uh, Caleb Cal was telling us that he had to do a, uh, just a assessment, a quick check medical assessment on someone who was going to the
Justin Nunley (08:16):
Bridge. So here’s a question like Caleb, when you, when you move it, like, would you have to move it? Do you just go all in and just grab it and move it over? Or is it just like a, I’m just gonna pinch the top of the skin. Like I’m grabbing a puppy. Right. And move it over. No,
Caleb Beaver (08:33):
Neither you back of the hand. Just,
Sevan Matossian (08:36):
Hey, Hey, he takes his, the back of his hands, dude. Liar. Hey, he takes his gloves off.
Caleb Beaver (08:42):
Yeah. Usually UN gloved. That’s how I do it.
Justin Nunley (08:44):
He probably used his mouth. He was like, hold on, I gotta move this from there.
Caleb Beaver (08:49):
<laugh> like, oh, excuse me.
Justin Nunley (08:54):
Like when we’re talking, when we’re talking like the biggest you’ve ever seen, like, like how, how, how low did that thing? Hang,
Caleb Beaver (09:02):
I got this mid thigh.
Sevan Matossian (09:05):
Wow. I, I, I got a buddy. Uh,
Justin Nunley (09:08):
So we,
Sevan Matossian (09:10):
I got a buddy. I showered with once and, uh, his Dick was so big. And then later on that night, uh, we, we were out camping.
Darian Weeks (09:19):
What I did come into
Sevan Matossian (09:21):
And his Dick was so big. That’s
Justin Nunley (09:23):
Exactly what I said.
Sevan Matossian (09:25):
We were in
Justin Nunley (09:26):
Here.
Sevan Matossian (09:26):
We were in Mexico and, and I showering with this dude and his Dick was so big. And when I went to the camp side, I told everyone how big his Dick was and no one wanted to believe me. So later on that night, we went to a strip club. It was, it was, uh, eight, seven girls and six guys on the strip. And we went to a strip club and the stripper sat on his lap and she put her hand into his pants and she yells El Kaba. And I fucking jumped outta my seat. And I’m like, I told you, motherfuckers
Darian Weeks (09:55):
What’s El bus.
Justin Nunley (09:57):
That mean that the cowboy
Sevan Matossian (09:58):
Means the horse, the
Justin Nunley (09:59):
Horse there’s El El Beccaro. El Beccaro is
Sevan Matossian (10:02):
The cowboy. No, the horse El Kaba, even a stripper who touched his cock, knew that like, like if you got a stripper yelling the horse, when she touches your Dick. And so later on that night we were drunk and it was me and him and we’re walking back and I go, Hey, he’s drinking a Pacifico. And I go, how, how, how fucking gigantic does that thing get when it’s erect. And he, and he looks at his Pacifico and he says, it’s basically gets to the size of two cans. He told me he’s never put the, he told me he is never put the whole thing in anyone.
Justin Nunley (10:33):
Yeah. See how, how much fun is that? Really? He says, see, I
Sevan Matossian (10:36):
Guess he says, you look at the girl’s face and you just can’t push the whole thing in. You just feel horrible. But
Justin Nunley (10:41):
You know what though? Like, like the only, the only feeling you really have is in the head of your dig. I mean, like the does nothing. So I mean, as long as you get the head up in there, you good to go.
Sevan Matossian (10:53):
I guess
Darian Weeks (10:54):
He’s not even getting the full head in that bitch.
Sevan Matossian (10:57):
I don’t know. It’s, it’s kind of like, I always think of sex as more like bumper cars. You wanted to try to get like body to body.
Darian Weeks (11:03):
Yeah. That’s, that’s what I think of it. As
Caleb Beaver (11:06):
You don’t wanna bottom out six inches in
Darian Weeks (11:10):
<laugh>.
Sevan Matossian (11:12):
Uh, no, I did not bend over for the soap. There was no soap in that shower, that shower we were in Mexico. And it was a concrete building with just two pipes with cold water. Just that float. You don’t even turn the water on and off. We were just in there showering. I looked over and I fucking, almost fell down. I started laughing so hard. I couldn’t even believe it was real. I thought it was a joke. Penis,
Darian Weeks (11:35):
A joke.
Sevan Matossian (11:37):
It was crazy. I don’t
Justin Nunley (11:39):
Know. Do know what the y’all know what the Mormons be doing?
Sevan Matossian (11:42):
What, what? Hello, check one, two. The show’s gonna be fuck. Hey, I’m glad you guys did this show. Seriously premarital.
Justin Nunley (11:55):
Right?
Sevan Matossian (11:56):
Okay. Yeah. It’s
Justin Nunley (11:57):
It’s yeah.
Sevan Matossian (12:02):
Oh, I can hear the delay going Justin and D’s cars.
Darian Weeks (12:10):
I’m
Justin Nunley (12:10):
On
Darian Weeks (12:13):
This guy up here.
Sevan Matossian (12:15):
I know. I know. He’s a jackass. Bye, bye. Look, look, I heard his feelings. He jumped off.
Darian Weeks (12:23):
No. Yeah. Oh, what’s crazy. Um, alright. Fight in Vegas. All right. I was there after the fight in Vegas. Um, you,
Sevan Matossian (12:32):
Hey, how are you? Are you pissed?
Darian Weeks (12:35):
Well, I was pissed, but what’s it gonna do for me now to be pissed,
Sevan Matossian (12:40):
Right? You’re like, you’re like the Buddha. You’re like a wise man.
Darian Weeks (12:44):
I try to be, I try to be head peace, but it’s crazy. Okay. So I’m fucking in my feelings outside this casino, fucking I’m watching the fight again on ESPN and guy runs up and like, oh shit, you’re Jerry. We, you know, we’re in Las Vegas. Oh, I don’t even watch him. I see. Podcast was like, oh shit,
Sevan Matossian (13:14):
I ain’t surpris motherfucker.
Justin Nunley (13:16):
<laugh>.
Darian Weeks (13:17):
I said, oh shit. I wanna let you know. He did say your name as Stanley
Sevan Matossian (13:23):
Dumb is my oh, both of you guys are so fucked up. Just you guys have no respect for the show. You and Dar I seriously think other podcasts hire you guys to come on here and just fuck my shit up and drop my numbers.
Darian Weeks (13:41):
Why this is a good setting. This is a, this is a 2020 black Dodge Ram.
Sevan Matossian (13:45):
Hey. Oh, that is a nice car. Hey, uh, it’s raining where you’re at Darien.
Darian Weeks (13:51):
Yeah, it’s raining like the beach.
Sevan Matossian (13:53):
Hey. Um, are you, are you concerned about them cutting you? Sorry to just to go dig right into it.
Darian Weeks (14:00):
No, that’s good. That’s alright. Uh, no, I I’m actually not concerned about it. Cause all, I mean, yes, I got three losses in three. Um, but every fight that I’ve had there, I haven’t retreated. I haven’t showed that. I don’t have the skill with these guys that, you know, um, I’ve definitely went in there with the intent to walk forward every time and try to predict. So, um, you know, maybe if I was getting knocked out or something, you know, and you know, submitted as shit, I’d be like, oh shit, you know, here comes it. I’m gonna get cut. But right now I really haven’t. I really haven’t shown him that, you know, I’m not, I’m not. And plus I’m the guy in the UFC with a less amount of pro fights. You know, I have eight pro fights. You know, most people have 16, 23, you know what I’m saying? Like they’re up there. So I feel like they’ll also, you know, understand that I’m at this level, I’m still developing as a pro athlete. You know what I mean? They haven’t got the best from me right now. And also I’ve produced, you know,
Darian Weeks (15:13):
Showings that, you know, I could be, you know, fucking lethal. So I feel like I’m not worried. And then also you don’t worry about those things cuz you always keep positive mindset. You know how they say, you think positivity, you attract positivity. So I’m gonna get fucking five more fight contracts for 16 and 16. And we’re gonna knock somebody out. Fuck
Sevan Matossian (15:35):
Standby,
Justin Nunley (15:36):
Man. It’s saying I got good service. And my shit’s like all fucked up. Like I don’t, I don’t know. I don’t know. Um, fuck. I really want to jump on today too. I had a lot of shit to say
Sevan Matossian (15:49):
You wanna jump on this Dick
Justin Nunley (15:51):
For me? Cause I’m the only one that can hear this shit. I don’t know.
Sevan Matossian (15:57):
Uh, you want to jump on this D uh, it, um, did you think, did you watch that fight? I thought you won your last fight.
Darian Weeks (16:09):
Oh yeah. I mean, even if I didn’t win it, he lost it. Fuck you talking about, you know what I’m saying? Like he did not wanna gauge round two or three at all.
Sevan Matossian (16:22):
You know what I mean? You were the, you were the better athlete. You were striking more. I, I, I, that one was weird. That one was fucking weird.
Darian Weeks (16:27):
Yeah. That one. And that one was like, fucking man getting the blankets ripped off of you at fucking five o’clock in the morning. You know what I mean? Like I swear. I was like, oh, in the bag, you know what I mean? First dub, let’s go. And then woo. To hear that. I was like, what? Know what I mean? So
Sevan Matossian (16:48):
What’s crazy too. Is that guy’s career look like it was teetering on the brink. Like if, if they, if he would’ve got that else, I think that would’ve been it for him.
Darian Weeks (16:56):
Yeah. No. So maybe they were trying to save, you know, I don’t know. And then, you know, it’s weirder, um, you know, AF right before the fight, some, I don’t know who it was, but some guy was like, um, I put $10,000 on Yohan, you know, to win or whatever. And I’m like, that was just weird that that happened right before the fight. And then they gave him the decision. You know
Sevan Matossian (17:20):
What I mean? Um, uh, you heard, you heard someone say that?
Darian Weeks (17:24):
Yeah. Someone to posted
Sevan Matossian (17:25):
Like the, oh, oh
Darian Weeks (17:28):
About it. They posted about it. And I was like, what they fuck? You know what I mean? Yeah. I don’t mind. Um, yeah, but it is what it is. You know? I, I, I do this sport cuz I’m, I’m good at it and I fucking love it. You know what I mean? So we can keep, we gonna keep punching people in the face for money.
Sevan Matossian (17:48):
Uh, how old are you? D
Darian Weeks (17:49):
Yeah. I’m not as old as Justin Nunley so that’s fucking good to know.
Sevan Matossian (17:54):
What are you? 27? 28.
Darian Weeks (17:57):
28? Yeah. 28. Yeah. See, I’m not even primed up yet. Shit,
Sevan Matossian (18:02):
Justin. Justin’s on his way to his 20th, uh, uh, high school, high school. Were you high high school reunion?
Darian Weeks (18:09):
I know. Yep. High school reunion. I thought
Sevan Matossian (18:12):
That’s so funny that he’s going to, that. I like it.
Darian Weeks (18:16):
You don’t go to yours?
Sevan Matossian (18:19):
Uh, I can’t remember if I, I know I went to one reunion 30. Hey, it was, it was fucked up, dude.
Darian Weeks (18:26):
What do you mean? It was fucked up
Sevan Matossian (18:28):
There. Like, like I, I can’t remember which one I went to, but like half the people there were fucked up and like the shit you find out there was crazy. So I like the, for example, I had this best friend in elementary school. Um, uh, Chad Cola. Coolest shit. Awesome dude. Right? Yeah. And then, uh, and then something happened to our friendship. I don’t even, I never knew what happened. Right. So, so then junior high, high school, we never talked. We went to the same school and I don’t even know. I always wonder what happened to the friendship. And uh, I saw him at the reunion and I’m like, Hey dude, what did you think? Anything weird happened to our relationship in elementary school? He’s like, yeah, dude, my mom died. And I was like, oh fuck. You know? And like, and then there were dudes, there were dudes. Uh, do you know the term? Gorked
Darian Weeks (19:09):
Definitely not.
Sevan Matossian (19:11):
It, it, it means like, um, uh, like kind of like brain dead, like, like someone punched a hole in your brain. I think gork just like, you got like, like you were in a bad, you had a bad head, head injury. And like half the people there had were just like obese and, and, uh, let’s see gore, uh gork gorked knocked out sedated heavily. Yeah. Half the people there. I don’t know. Just like, let their, let themselves go to shit. Do you know what I mean? Like they were fat or it was sad. It was depressing.
Darian Weeks (19:43):
They wasn’t staying. That’s all.
Sevan Matossian (19:46):
Say it again. D they
Darian Weeks (19:48):
Weren’t staying in the same shape. Savan was actually,
Sevan Matossian (19:50):
No, not even half. They were just a mess. They didn’t look like they were like, like, life was fun for them anymore. Like <laugh> it was,
Darian Weeks (19:59):
I didn’t like it. I got tenure reunion coming up tomorrow.
Sevan Matossian (20:03):
You do?
Darian Weeks (20:04):
Yeah.
Sevan Matossian (20:04):
Oh it.
Darian Weeks (20:06):
And I mean, I wanna, I was gonna go to it. Um, but then I thought, you know, I live in a smaller town, so everybody knows, like they know what I do, you know what I mean? They know like, oh, that guy fights people on TV, even if they don’t know the UFC.
Sevan Matossian (20:25):
Right.
Darian Weeks (20:26):
So, you know, and no, and no slack to them. Like, I love everybody who supports me. I’m not that guy. You know what I’m saying? But I literally love everyone, but you know, I know I’m gonna go in there tomorrow and have the same conversation 36 times.
Sevan Matossian (20:41):
Oh no. One’s gonna ask you how big your Dick is. They’re gonna ask you about fighting.
Darian Weeks (20:46):
<laugh> there might be someone ask me how big my Dick is, but most questions will be about, oh, so you know how, because I mean, I live in a small town, so a lot of people don’t do a lot of things. You know what I mean? They’re either a teacher or work at the fucking factory up here. Or
Sevan Matossian (21:04):
How about the girl who’s gonna be there that you lost your virginity to? Is that gonna be awkward?
Darian Weeks (21:11):
No, I don’t think it’ll be awkward. I mean, shit. I can’t even remember which one it was.
Sevan Matossian (21:16):
Oh
Darian Weeks (21:17):
Yeah.
Sevan Matossian (21:18):
I, when I go to my re, when I went to my reunion, um, I had the same girlfriend all through high school.
Darian Weeks (21:24):
Really?
Sevan Matossian (21:25):
Yeah. And I’m not gonna lie. Like it was, uh,
Darian Weeks (21:28):
Was it awkward? Was she fat?
Sevan Matossian (21:30):
No. No, no. She was, she was, she was awesome.
Darian Weeks (21:34):
I’m saying at your opinion, was
Sevan Matossian (21:35):
She fat? No, she was awesome. She looked exactly the same. It was like, she brought her husband. I wanted to be like, he should just go away. Like, let’s just pick up where we left off. I’ll pretend like I’m not married too.
Darian Weeks (21:47):
<laugh>
Sevan Matossian (21:47):
Told my wife’s not listening to this.
Darian Weeks (21:49):
She’s in the other room. Like what the fuck?
Sevan Matossian (21:53):
It was just, uh, it, I mean, I kind of always feel like I’m in like a timeless world. Like the world doesn’t change for me. So, you know, like I hadn’t seen her in, I, I can’t remember if I went to my 10th, 20th or 30th. I can’t remember which the fuck one, I went to
Darian Weeks (22:09):
40 had 30 of them.
Sevan Matossian (22:10):
I’m 50. I’m gonna approach on like a 40th one soon or some shit. But she looked the, she looked exactly. Hey, all the cute girls were still cute. It was just the, now that I think about it was just the dudes that went to shit.
Darian Weeks (22:22):
Damn. That’s how it goes. Usually man, dudes just fucking get a job. And they just started eating fucking donuts in the morning.
Sevan Matossian (22:30):
Yeah. There was like dudes who were on the basketball team, like who, every fucking chick loved who were just studs. And I just went there and they were just fat and tarted was like, man, that sucks peak in high school. And I just started talking to ’em about CrossFit. What’d you say? They all just peaked in high school. Yeah.
Darian Weeks (22:47):
Yeah. That’s how, that’s how my that’s how my wife’s classroom unions are and fucking, she’s always like, are you sure you don’t want to go with me? And I’m like, yeah, I’m a fucking pro UFC fighter. Go ahead and go by yourself. None of ’em gonna hit. You can stay out all fucking night. I will be asleep. Not working. I,
Sevan Matossian (23:13):
I, I don’t care if dudes hit on my, uh, wife.
Darian Weeks (23:17):
Yeah, me neither. Especially like,
Sevan Matossian (23:20):
Um, I, I it’s good for everyone’s self-esteem to get hit on.
Darian Weeks (23:23):
I think it is too. And also I feel like how, you know, scared and insecure you. If you’re like, don’t don’t compliment my wife. Oh, please compliment my wife. You know, tell her she’s sexy. Now I at least if no one’s hitting on my wife, then I’m I’m up the wrong tree. You know what I mean? I need to, I need a new wife confirms
Sevan Matossian (23:42):
The right decision. Right. I went, I went to Disneyland and there were all sorts of fucked up dudes checking out my wife. And I was like, fuck, this is B like this. This must be great for her. Yeah. What wife? I wanna go somewhere where there’s a bunch of fucked up old ladies looking at me. What?
Darian Weeks (23:55):
What’s your wife look like? Sivan.
Sevan Matossian (23:57):
She’s just fucking super fit. Thick, fucking, super thick red hair. Just hot. Just awesome. Red. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And my girlfriend in high school was a redhead. That’s the thing too. I’m sure my, yeah. I was three beers away from calling her Hailey. My, my <laugh>. I was three beers away from calling her my wife’s name.
Darian Weeks (24:16):
You’re the only man blessed enough to have two redhead in their whole life. Fuck. Oh
Sevan Matossian (24:21):
Man. And thick. My, my wife has thick hair thick. It’s like a big old just F just
Darian Weeks (24:27):
It’s curly.
Sevan Matossian (24:29):
Uh, no, but she got like thick J hair. She’s just like, and she’s, and she’s all freckly. It’s it’s really nice. I know
Darian Weeks (24:39):
You have a diamond.
Sevan Matossian (24:40):
Yeah.
Darian Weeks (24:41):
Diamond of a woman
Sevan Matossian (24:43):
And, and she’s fed than me. So I like it. You know what I mean?
Darian Weeks (24:46):
Does she do CrossFit or no?
Sevan Matossian (24:47):
Yeah. She got a big old fucking butt from squatting, small waist, big butt, broad shoulders.
Darian Weeks (24:54):
Good shit.
Sevan Matossian (24:55):
Yeah. And she’s and she, and she’s always, she’s always game 24 hours a day. If I’m, if I’m ready. She’s she’ll get ready for me. Are
Darian Weeks (25:05):
You
Sevan Matossian (25:05):
Guys? I have, whenever I’ve never heard. When I hear dudes, let’s just brag session up when dudes are like, yeah, I got married and my wife just stopped. Fucking me. Not like that at all. Yeah. There she is.
Darian Weeks (25:15):
Get the fuck outta here.
Sevan Matossian (25:16):
Yeah.
Darian Weeks (25:17):
Oh, I do have zoom on my shit.
Sevan Matossian (25:19):
Yeah. Like it like at two in the morning, four in the morning, six in the afternoon.
Darian Weeks (25:23):
She’s ready.
Sevan Matossian (25:24):
She just ready? Yeah. My wife will never say no to me. It’s crazy. I feel, I feel, I feel horrible
Darian Weeks (25:29):
For it. I feel like to be honest. That’s how redheads are for real
Sevan Matossian (25:33):
<laugh>
Darian Weeks (25:35):
Redheads are on the verge of NFO maniac.
Sevan Matossian (25:37):
Yeah. Yeah. She’s always, she’s always she’s capable. Yeah. Oh my she’s never like, she’s never like the kids are in the room. It’s like, I just, just be like, Hey, let’s go over here. Let’s go in the closet then. All right. Fine
Darian Weeks (25:49):
Closet. <laugh> do you have small children?
Sevan Matossian (25:56):
Three dude, I have two, five year olds and a seven year old
Darian Weeks (25:59):
Dude. You’re 50 years old. Your kids are supposed to be grown.
Sevan Matossian (26:02):
Hey, I went to the skate park the other day, Darien and the skate instructor. The kids are tell, uh, telling their skate instructor, just what a fucking old piece of shit I am and that I can’t do. I’m not capable. And, and the skate instructor’s like, dude, your dad’s so capable for 50. And like he’s pointing out other like 50 year old piles of shit. But my kids still, if I get, if I get on a skateboard, my kids will start crying.
Darian Weeks (26:25):
Well, cause they think you’re gonna hurt yourself. Uh,
Sevan Matossian (26:28):
You better? I’m not joking.
Darian Weeks (26:30):
You look like a dad. That’s skate wars though.
Sevan Matossian (26:33):
I don’t, but they’re probably right, but still
Darian Weeks (26:37):
Or through fucking San Diego. That’s what you mean.
Sevan Matossian (26:39):
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Good. I’m going for that. Look. I’m going for that look.
Darian Weeks (26:43):
Yeah. You definitely don’t. Look, I wouldn’t have guessed 50. I’d have guessed. You were, you know, 42
Sevan Matossian (26:49):
When you first came on the show though. Remember I had that. Oh yeah. There’s my boys look at ’em can you see that?
Darian Weeks (26:56):
All three of them there. Do you have triplets?
Sevan Matossian (26:58):
I have two twins. The two in the front are five year old twins in the, and the one moving and, and actually throwing some combinations is seven.
Darian Weeks (27:05):
They all look like they’re the same age.
Sevan Matossian (27:07):
Yeah. They all look like, and they all look like little girls too.
Darian Weeks (27:11):
Made them all grow your hair out. Like you.
Sevan Matossian (27:13):
Uh, well, so they had never had a haircut until like their whole life for like the first five years of their life. And then we cut their hair super short, like Caleb’s hair.
Darian Weeks (27:23):
Oh shit.
Sevan Matossian (27:25):
<laugh> and now we’re letting it just grow out again. So it’s to save money. One haircut every five years.
Darian Weeks (27:31):
Oh yeah. I, I like that, dude. They all
Sevan Matossian (27:33):
You hate that. If people, if people, if everyone’s like me, you’d be outta business. The, the, your, your barbershop would be toast.
Darian Weeks (27:39):
Yeah. That, that is true. Fuck. I hate that. Yeah. Get your fucking kids week. They do. Oh, you, you, you, you train ’em up. Huh?
Sevan Matossian (27:50):
Oh buddy. Uh it’s it’s seven days a week. It’s seven days a week.
Darian Weeks (27:55):
They’re gonna be little lethal motherfuckers.
Sevan Matossian (27:58):
Yeah. Someone has to, uh, someone has to protect me when I’m old.
Darian Weeks (28:05):
They’re vegetarians. Aren’t they?
Sevan Matossian (28:06):
Fuck. No.
Darian Weeks (28:08):
<laugh> you got the, you got the good little hippie look going for them.
Sevan Matossian (28:15):
Yeah. No one, I, I kind of feel bad for ’em cuz no one ever thinks they’re boys. Oh my God. Your girls are so pretty. And they’ll be like, why do people think we’re girls? I’m like, I don’t know. Cuz you have pants on
Darian Weeks (28:24):
It’s cause the way I style it broke
Sevan Matossian (28:26):
You up. Yeah.
Darian Weeks (28:27):
It’s the way I style your hair. I’m sorry. I fucking put the top. Not on there. It’s fucking fucking people.
Sevan Matossian (28:33):
Upson don’t skateboard. I’m 33 and broke my leg skating at the park. I know. I know. I know. I know.
Darian Weeks (28:40):
Damn.
Sevan Matossian (28:40):
I know. Broke
Darian Weeks (28:41):
His leg.
Sevan Matossian (28:43):
Hey Christine. I, I see that you changed your profile pick and you got me in it now that’s a, that’s a smooth move. I like that. Good job. You’re good dude.
Darian Weeks (28:52):
Holler ERs. Oh, I do wanna man. And I feel so bad cause I don’t fucking remember his name and maybe I didn’t ever ask his name cuz I was upset with the fight. But I do wanna shout out this young Irish guy who was one of the guys, it was multiple people that said they recognized me from this podcast. So you have a fucking bigger fan base than me in the UFC.
Sevan Matossian (29:13):
<laugh> yeah.
Darian Weeks (29:16):
Um, fucking but yeah. I wanna shout him out if you’re watching out, dude. I’m sorry. I didn’t get your name, but you’re beast. He made me feel like a champion cuz he was just so fucking stoked. Like he was like you’re from the seven podcast bro. I’m like, oh shit damn. Y’all get down like that in Ireland. All right. Fuck. You know? So it was pretty cool. It
Sevan Matossian (29:37):
Was where, where was your fight at? It was in Vegas, right?
Darian Weeks (29:40):
Yeah. Vegas is at the T-Mobile arena.
Sevan Matossian (29:42):
Does anyone from the us? What happens after the fight? Where do you go?
Darian Weeks (29:47):
They kick you out immediately.
Sevan Matossian (29:49):
They do.
Darian Weeks (29:50):
Yeah.
Sevan Matossian (29:51):
And, and what do you mean? Like how fast do you get to go to a dressing room? You put your clothes on and then there’s someone there saying, okay, you gotta leave the venue.
Darian Weeks (29:58):
How fast they kick you out? Oh, we lost your audio.
The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.
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