#996 – Josh Pirtle | Fluffy Duck is back

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

You’re in the cool studio. Bam. We’re

Josh Pirtle (00:06):

Live’s pretty spiffy. I got some upgraded wallpaper right here.

Sevan Matossian (00:11):

Caleb, can you make him big?

Josh Pirtle (00:14):


Sevan Matossian (00:15):

You. That’s what your mom said’s wallpaper. That looks like a curtain.

Josh Pirtle (00:20):

Yeah, that’s a wallpaper. And when I got in this morning, it’s all coming down.

Sevan Matossian (00:25):

You actually did wallpaper, huh?

Josh Pirtle (00:27):

Yeah. Well it was like a peel and stick.

Sevan Matossian (00:31):

Wow. That’s like in my studio. I’m putting up soundproofing everywhere and it’s peel and stick.

Josh Pirtle (00:38):

Yep. I got that behind me.

Sevan Matossian (00:41):

Oh, and I see your bathroom. No, that’s your air conditioner.

Josh Pirtle (00:45):

Oh yeah.

Caleb Beaver (00:47):

He’s like, I hope not.

Josh Pirtle (00:50):

Where am my pooping at? Yep.

Sevan Matossian (00:51):

Oh my God. Is that your wife in the shower? That’s cool. Oh God.

Josh Pirtle (00:54):


Sevan Matossian (00:54):

Get out of here. Oh my God. You have a swimming pool?

Josh Pirtle (00:57):

Yeah. Gosh. Lemme see if I can, I think I did this last time too. Pulled my backyard shot. Welcome to my crib.

Sevan Matossian (01:05):

God, that’s such a cute little room.

Josh Pirtle (01:07):

It is. It’s pretty adorable. Here’s my backyard. Can you see it?

Sevan Matossian (01:10):

Yeah. What’s that room supposed to be for Josh?

Josh Pirtle (01:13):

It’s a fricking shed. It’s a shed converted into whatever. I made it to a studio slash office.

Josh Pirtle (01:22):

It was a shed when we bought the house. It’s just one of those shed you get at

Josh Pirtle (01:27):

One of those sheds you get at Home Depot. Yeah. And then during Covid times, I worked from home and so the kids would never leave me alone. And my other little, I guess it’s like a media room, and so I was like, I got to either get a space or rent a space or do something out here because I just got to get out of the house. I’m always on Zoom calls all the time.

Sevan Matossian (01:53):

Excuse me. My wife just sent me a text. Why can’t I find your show? And we have the fewest live viewers I’ve ever seen since in the last two years.

Josh Pirtle (02:02):

Oh, you’re welcome.

Sevan Matossian (02:09):

Any thoughts? It’s weird, right? Yeah. I’m looking to see. Do you have it on your own Cam? Can you see what’s I remember when we used to hit. It’s on. It’s on. It is. Okay. Alright.

Caleb Beaver (02:20):

Put a few things on there and I’ll, it’ll probably pop up.

Sevan Matossian (02:25):

Oh, did you see there’s a thumbnail with Josh’s face on it?

Caleb Beaver (02:29):

Yeah. I’m going to change it right now.

Sevan Matossian (02:31):

Bad. You think that’ll probably skyrocket the numbers, right? Yeah,

Caleb Beaver (02:34):

Usually does. Usually does.

Sevan Matossian (02:37):

Yeah. That is odd. What a trip.

Josh Pirtle (02:43):

Good. Is it one? Is there a watcher?

Sevan Matossian (02:50):

I wish I had some wish I had some funny shit, Josh, but I got this subject. That’s not so funny. Maybe. We’ll,

Josh Pirtle (02:57):

Yeah, we can get serious.

Sevan Matossian (02:59):

Maybe we’ll make it funny. Yeah.

Josh Pirtle (03:03):

Can I chime in real fast? Really chatted a lot with Caleb in the airport. What a swell fellow that guy is.

Sevan Matossian (03:12):

Were you at the

Josh Pirtle (03:12):

Bar? Negative? I was not at the bar negative, but yeah, first I got a long form chat with that guy. What a nice guy. Just a absolute pleasure.

Sevan Matossian (03:26):

Absolute pleasure. Tell me you’re not a media whore when you don’t describe talking to someone. I had a long format chat. Jesus crying. Get out of the matrix, Josh.

Josh Pirtle (03:38):

Yeah, that’s very true. Yes. Long

Sevan Matossian (03:41):

Jessica. T I’m going to pretend like I care about reading your comment, but I’m just staring at your bathing suit. I got notifications from X and YouTube like always. Wow. You made the jump quick. You’re calling it X, do you call it X? I don’t know anyone who calls it X

Josh Pirtle (03:56):

Twitter. I tried. It sounded weird.

Sevan Matossian (03:59):

It doesn’t really

Mattew Souza (04:00):

Roll off the tongue.

Sevan Matossian (04:04):

No one calls Facebook meta. Right? That didn’t stick, did it? Did it?

Mattew Souza (04:08):

No, not really. Elon’s first company was called X PayPal before. PayPal is PayPal,

Sevan Matossian (04:15):

By the way. I’m not judging you, Jessica. I like it. Make the jump. Let’s see if we can, you can be a leader. Hey, I don’t think mean guys should be giving out their, this is a really hard come at you so hard.

Josh Pirtle (04:29):

I don’t

Sevan Matossian (04:31):

Think mean guys should be giving out their, do you have another meme account that no one knows is yours? I don’t think meme guys. I think it ruins meme accounts when, and I’m not suggesting yours is a meme account. Maybe yours is a skit account. I think meme guys should keep their shit private. And I think meme account should never preach. I like the meme that I’ve seen going around recently. It says congratulations to George Floyd for being sober for three years. No one should have to explain. Well, that’s just a joke.


Or you know what I mean? I hate to pick on my dear friend wa zombie. I love it. I love him to death. But he made a post recently about poking at Danny for trying to make a Maui about her, but then he lectured her on it and I’m like, she don’t need a lecture. She said, grown ass fucking woman. A meme account shouldn’t be lecture. It should just be funny. It should be a place where she can come back and laugh and be like, yeah, but my ass and my tits can help raise money for Maui. That’s why I made it about me. Shut up. You know what I mean? She should be able to lean into it and it’d be funny. Yes. And I feel like when people show, when the meme guys show who they are, they feel some sort of obligation to explain or curtail or, you know what I mean? The guy can’t be doing black jokes all of a sudden because you know who he is and it’s lame. I see what you’re saying. And who suffers? It’s the black guy suffers for it. Then they’re somehow above humor that no one wants to be above humor.


I mean, I like being made fun of. I like the attention.

Josh Pirtle (06:18):

Oh yeah, me too. I want you to try to hurt my feelings. The fun. That makes it even funnier.

Sevan Matossian (06:26):

The guy today, I walked into the bar to get a cup of coffee this morning, 6:00 AM here at Dory’s. And the guy was saying, which each person who’s sitting at the bar looks like, and he’s like, I’m going to pick the ugliest fish I know. And I’m like, I’m out of here. You know what I mean? Drunk dude’s at the bar. Get it at six in the morning. The bartender’s making fun of you. Any thoughts on that?

Josh Pirtle (06:49):

Yeah. Yeah. So don’t put a face to the meme. Yeah. Well, when you first initially said that, I was thinking of,

Sevan Matossian (06:56):

I think Wooley and Nicks fucked their accounts up by doing that.

Josh Pirtle (07:00):

There’s two came to mind. I was thinking of Tank Sinatra. That guy is,

Sevan Matossian (07:04):

Yeah. I was communicating with him for a while. I was trying to get him on. Maybe you turned me on to him.

Josh Pirtle (07:10):

Yeah’s pretty, he’s awesome. But he has that fine balance of you see his face, but he also put, I would say he posts a lot of, I dunno, edgy memes where I can see people offended by it, but then also thinking the N F L memes. And I have no idea who that guy is. The N F L meme guy. I, he’d like, I need a very popular account. And I don’t think anybody ever knows who that guy looks like. Yeah, I guess I see what you’re saying. I see your point. I don’t know.

Sevan Matossian (07:42):

And yours might be different. And that the guy with the Armenian looking dude with the fucked up hair, his might be different too. He is in the skits.

Josh Pirtle (07:56):

Yeah, they’re little short. Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (07:57):

They’re short. You know what I mean? So at that point I get it, but I just Well,

Josh Pirtle (08:03):

I think what, to your point too, I think there’s a certain, when you have that unanimous or anonymous figure as posting, then you could probably get a little more risky without feeling like you have to defend your jokes or feel like it’s, oh, now that maybe I’m in jeopardy. I said something that could be offensive, but people know who it look like now. So Yeah, it’s like the V for vendetta guy. Right. Nobody knows what you look like. You might even be a little more confident in putting more riskier sketches out there or memes. I see what you’re saying.

Sevan Matossian (08:39):

It’s the politics thing. I’m not going to wear a MAGA hat walking around my town because everyone in my town dislikes black people and believes that climate change means something to them. Do you know what I mean? And thinks that you should be eating chicken that’s grown on a farm in a lab even. I feel that pressure. And so I’m just like, wow. I think that that is the, but then again, on the other hand, I’m making a presupposition that maybe you have another meme account that no one knows is you

Josh Pirtle (09:16):

No, unfortunately. Unfortunately.

Sevan Matossian (09:18):

Thanks for ruining that.

Josh Pirtle (09:21):

Sorry about it. Sorry about it. But I think we’ve talked

Sevan Matossian (09:25):

Lot. Do you have thoughts on it? Do you think I’m way off base or what do you think? No, no.

Josh Pirtle (09:27):

Well, I think it just depends on what you’re trying to accomplish and how you are is

Sevan Matossian (09:33):

Somebody, you’re trying to be creative and free and make poignant comments and stay funny and true to what a meme account is. You’re not there lecturing people. It also, once you start lecturing Dan, you also put her to almost be defensive. You don’t even give her the opportunity to lean into it and laugh at herself. Do you know what I mean? Sorry, Nick. You know I love you. I hate to use this as an example. Love you have a wonderful account. I do.

Josh Pirtle (09:59):

I love you so Nick too. But yeah, I think what you’re saying, and I was going to say, I think it just depends on what you, if people knowing what you look like is going to alter the kind of things you post, then yeah, maybe you shouldn’t then. But if it’s not, then maybe there’s not a, I guess that’s just the part of the anonymous. But as far as the lecturing part of what you’re talking about. Yeah. Sorry to bash Nick. Yeah. I wouldn’t do something like that.

Sevan Matossian (10:25):

Not bash him in the sense that I don’t disagree with what he’s saying. I just think it’s like putting, I don’t have a problem with transporting cows from point A to point B. I just don’t think it should be done in the back of your cabriolet 1977 tricked out convertible rabbit. You know what I mean? When you do that, the cow ruins the seats and the car and it doesn’t fit right. And could cause an accident. And I just want the memes to be the memes. Stevon is just fishing and needs confirmation on his post yesterday.

Josh Pirtle (11:02):

Oh, what’d you post yesterday? Crap. My bad. I didn’t see it.

Sevan Matossian (11:07):

It’s okay. I got in trouble with my mom. I got in trouble with my mom. Okay. I totally, I totally get what my mom’s saying too. And mom thinks that this is, she didn’t say this and we had a long talk about it, but I think she thinks this is juvenile.

Josh Pirtle (11:26):

Oh, is that sporty, Beth?

Sevan Matossian (11:29):

Yeah. And it was supposed to be making fun of me, but my mom thinks it’s bad for my image and my brand. It’s too, she didn’t use the word mean. No,

Josh Pirtle (11:40):

It’s funny.

Sevan Matossian (11:41):

That’s funny. Yeah.

Josh Pirtle (11:45):

Wait, what was the chief complaint there? Her

Sevan Matossian (11:49):

Brand? I wish I could remember better. I wish I could her justice better. Not necessarily her brand. Those were my words, not hers, but just that I think she thinks it was juvenile. And I mean, I think she thinks it’s so bad that I should pull it down and I just don’t see that. And like I was saying, Josh, there’s an iteration. If you go back to that picture, Caleb, and you look at her hand, there’s an iteration where she’s giving the person next to her. You mean Neil a hand job? Oh yeah. Sorry. The person next to me. I’m giving them a hand job. See that hand right there? There’s another iteration where that person next to them has a penis out and I’m giving them a hand job.

Josh Pirtle (12:32):

That’s the one you should have posted.

Sevan Matossian (12:34):

I know. I know.

Josh Pirtle (12:35):

Yeah. Is there a

Sevan Matossian (12:37):

Donkey in the background of this too? Say that again? Is there a donkey in the background of this shot? Yeah, donkey. And then there’s a cat on. Look, there’s a cat on the ground too. Look at the cat.

Josh Pirtle (12:49):

Little Easter

Sevan Matossian (12:50):

Eggs everywhere. That’s all racist shit. That’s all. Just shit. Like it’s Mexico. Like It’s Mexico.

Josh Pirtle (12:54):

Oh yeah, very much so. Wait, or did you do the Photoshopping of this?

Sevan Matossian (12:58):

No. Fuck no. I have this. Okay.

Josh Pirtle (13:00):

I was like, damn, this is solid.

Sevan Matossian (13:02):

I don’t have time for that.

Josh Pirtle (13:03):

This solid

Sevan Matossian (13:04):

Marco Calderon reached 10 years of alcohol free today. Crazy dude. Congrats. Congrats.

Josh Pirtle (13:15):

Do you drink very much Sivan? I mean, you sound like I do, but

Sevan Matossian (13:20):

I do sound like I do.

Josh Pirtle (13:22):

Oh, I’m sorry. Yeah. Yeah, a little bit.

Sevan Matossian (13:26):

This trip I have been, well, this trip I have been drinking a lot by drinking a lot. I mean one or two drinks a day. I don’t, yeah. Okay. Yesterday morning,

Josh Pirtle (13:38):

On average week. How about what’s your average intake?

Sevan Matossian (13:43):

I would say on average, not on average, but normally, no. I just don’t drink period. Just normally. But there are situations where I’m in Newport Beach and I’ll wake up in the morning and go down to the bar and have a bloody Mary. Not this morning, but I really enjoy doing that. But on average, but normally if I’m at home, I don’t drink at all.

Josh Pirtle (14:12):

How’s your body usually? Are you drinking

Sevan Matossian (14:16):

Outside? I’m very lightweight. I’m very lightweight. One drink and I’m all tossed up and fucking three drinks and it’s nap. Nappy. Nappy.

Josh Pirtle (14:24):

Is my volume low?

Sevan Matossian (14:26):

That was better.

Josh Pirtle (14:28):

That was better. Here. Lemme,

Sevan Matossian (14:29):

I did at the games. I had two margaritas every night before bed. You think? That’s a lot.

Josh Pirtle (14:37):

Two margaritas.

Sevan Matossian (14:38):

Two spicy margaritas.

Josh Pirtle (14:40):

Two margaritas. Oh, there you go. Two margaritas. Is that better? Two margaritas every night before bed. Yeah. I mean, that’d get me tossed

Sevan Matossian (14:48):

At the games.

Josh Pirtle (14:49):


Sevan Matossian (14:50):

But then I did a podcast to sweat it off.

Josh Pirtle (14:54):

That’s how that works. Sweat

Sevan Matossian (14:57):

It off, dude. Do you know what I did yesterday? Since I drank in the drank in the morning yesterday before, even though I hadn’t drank in five hours before the podcast or eight hours or whatever, before the podcast, I wanted to work out and I was kind of going to take the week off from working out. I was just going to do a lot of walking, but before the podcast, I’m like, you know what? I should do something to get myself sharp. And I did a hundred thrusters with 25 pound dumbbells.

Josh Pirtle (15:26):


Sevan Matossian (15:27):

Yeah. I’m sore.

Josh Pirtle (15:28):


Sevan Matossian (15:29):

I didn’t think that would make me sore. I am sore. I’m really sore.

Josh Pirtle (15:34):

Hey, you’re a lot jollier when I met you in person

Sevan Matossian (15:37):

Than right now.

Josh Pirtle (15:39):

I guess so.

Sevan Matossian (15:41):

I met you in person. I met you

Josh Pirtle (15:43):

Dirty. You rat. Come on. We had 11 conversations for

Sevan Matossian (15:49):

Hours. Hey, listen, you told me I sound like

Josh Pirtle (15:51):

I drank. We had long form.

Sevan Matossian (15:52):

You sound like I drink. You said I sound like I drink. Maybe what?

Josh Pirtle (15:55):

I can’t remember. We had long form conversations.

Sevan Matossian (16:00):

You think I’m taller in person than I am on my show?

Josh Pirtle (16:03):


Sevan Matossian (16:04):

Oh, interesting. I was pretty excited. Excited. I was

Josh Pirtle (16:06):

Going to say, unless you were just hyped. Unless you were just hyped.

Sevan Matossian (16:09):

Yeah, I was pretty excited. I can be jolly on this. Oh

Josh Pirtle (16:13):

No. I loved it. You just kind caught me off guard a little bit. I thought,

Sevan Matossian (16:15):

Jake, what do you mean? I seem subdued right now?

Josh Pirtle (16:19):

No, I mean nothing bad. No, nothing bad. You’re just, you’re just a chill. I’m cool. I got my hair in a ponytail. This dude, you’re chilling. But at the games I was like, oh, I say Sivan, I’m going to go say hi to him before I even got close to you. You turned around and you’re all, Ooh, hey. And he come up and he gave me a hug and stuff and I was all, oh dude. Hey Sivan. How nice to see you buddy.

Sevan Matossian (16:41):

I was on ecstasy there.

Josh Pirtle (16:44):

You’re feeling pretty good. Yeah, you’re feeling pretty good. And then you went right off. I was Jill surfer hanging out at the beach surfing every day. There you go. See? There you go. Not the negative. You’re surfer dude. You’re surfer dude behind the mic. But at the games you’re just like,

Sevan Matossian (16:58):

I’m my hair down. Maybe it’s pulling on my brain. C4, maybe it’s on my brain. Oh yeah. And I was having

Josh Pirtle (17:05):


Sevan Matossian (17:06):

I was having No, no, no. I didn’t do pre-workouts games, but I was having 13 Jocko fuels.

Josh Pirtle (17:12):

Oh my God. Dude. I had somebody God damn Jocko fuels. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (17:15):

Yeah. Fucking

Josh Pirtle (17:16):

Pissing on orange.

Sevan Matossian (17:17):

I feel like one of those scumbags at Costco who just goes there to eat the free samples. That’s what it was like. I felt like gum bags. There’s nothing wrong with that. Oh, sorry. College kids. You got to have a

Josh Pirtle (17:26):

Membership to be there in the first place. Thank you, Caleb.

Sevan Matossian (17:30):

Thank you, Caleb. Good job. Jake Chapman. I’ve been telling S on. He’s been miserable all week. I swear I’m not miserable. I’m stoked.

Josh Pirtle (17:38):

I’m damn. No, I really didn’t mean it in a bad way. You’re just a little more like, I think surfer dude is perfect. Your surfer dude behind the mic. But when I saw you in person, you were elevated and you were excited. I don’t know. It was

Sevan Matossian (17:49):

Good. Maybe. Maybe it is. Maybe they say alcohol is a depressant. Maybe I’m depressed and maybe I need to add weed to the mix

Josh Pirtle (17:58):

I got. Oh yeah.

Sevan Matossian (17:59):

You’d just be silencing. God, I can’t. There is no way in. Hell fall asleep. I took one hit of weeded. No, I’d be paranoid. Be like my phone in my wallet. Looking around

Josh Pirtle (18:11):

In Newport.

Sevan Matossian (18:13):

Do you think they know him high? Any tidbit you want to add to that? Either any of you guys, before I change the subject about the meme guy and I really want to start a meme account and hire someone, pay them like a hundred thousand dollars a year just to make my ideas. Caleb’s like, wait, you’re going to pay

Josh Pirtle (18:36):

Somewhere? Yeah, I’ll say I’ll do that for real hundred thousand a year. I’ll do that for you.

Sevan Matossian (18:40):

Wait a second.

Josh Pirtle (18:42):

Happy to do it.

Sevan Matossian (18:44):

But wouldn’t that be fun to just have a meme account and pay someone and they just make what you want?

Josh Pirtle (18:51):

Yeah. The editing part is the suckiest part in all this stuff, I think.

Sevan Matossian (18:56):

And you could just steal other people’s memes too. It wouldn’t even matter. Just keep your shit anonymous. Just complete plagiarizing fucking tornado.

Josh Pirtle (19:04):

For sure. For sure. I’ll try not to change the subject too much, but on that topic, if I can bitch and moan to you, I created a meme, please. Okay. I created a meme like a year ago. It was just a little short video right of me running and I was like, oh man, I forgot what I said, but it was this a little funny clip, some lady, and they got like a hundred thousand views. Pretty good, right? Some lady ripped the audio. I get

Sevan Matossian (19:25):

About 1200 views and I’m fucking out of my mind. I can’t believe it.

Josh Pirtle (19:29):

The sub lady ripped the audio, recreated it almost like verbatim reposted it. She got 60 million views.

Sevan Matossian (19:39):

Let’s play a game. Let me tell you what she was wearing. No. Nothing. Nothing.

Josh Pirtle (19:44):

Nope. Nope. It’s not even that way. I thought you think this that? Nope. It’s not that either. Nope. Nope. Negative. She’s got all her clothes on.

Sevan Matossian (19:54):

Can we pull those up? Can we compare those two? I’d love to see those.

Josh Pirtle (19:57):

I know you can find, it’s probably easy to find mine, hers.

Sevan Matossian (20:03):

And you can always send a link in the private chat. How old is yours? How old is yours?

Josh Pirtle (20:08):

I think I have it tagged at the top of my thing. Pinned at the top. Lemme see if I still have it.

Sevan Matossian (20:13):

Pull. Can we see that?

Josh Pirtle (20:15):

Lemme see if it’s still pinned at. Yep, it is. If you go to my main thing, it’s the middle top.

Sevan Matossian (20:21):

Okay. Heidi’s going to do it in a bikini and get a hundred million views,

Josh Pirtle (20:23):

Dude. But here’s the thing too. Other people then reposted hers to other accounts and it was like 20 million, 10 million when it was all said and done. This thing got like a hundred million views

Sevan Matossian (20:36):

And people are starting to think that you stole it from her. Probably,

Josh Pirtle (20:40):

But it’s my voice is on her video.

Sevan Matossian (20:43):

Oh, it’s even your voice.

Josh Pirtle (20:45):


Sevan Matossian (20:45):

Oh, that’s amazing. That’s the ultimate in repurposing and recycling. Okay.

Josh Pirtle (20:51):

Was, yep. Touche by her.

Sevan Matossian (20:53):

Let’s see. Whatever.

Speaker 6 (20:54):

Feeling sad. Just go for a run. Then you’ll realize that your physical health is way worse than your mental health. If you’re ever feeling sad, just go for a

Josh Pirtle (21:04):

Run. See? Hilarious. Right? Then you’ll

Speaker 6 (21:06):

Realize that your physical health is way worse than your mental health.

Sevan Matossian (21:10):

That’s one of the words you’re not allowed to say anymore. According to Stanford University. Mental health. That’s one of the, you’re not allowed to say mental health. That’s it. That’s been Xed. Why? Fuck. I honestly,

Josh Pirtle (21:22):


Sevan Matossian (21:22):

Have no idea. Is it mental science now? Oh, you did send it to Susa.

Josh Pirtle (21:27):

Yeah, but via text.

Sevan Matossian (21:28):

Oh, good. Yeah. Now he has to do four other steps to

Josh Pirtle (21:31):

Get my bad. My bad. Lemme see if I can it. Got it. Okay, good. I feel like it’s good. Yeah. Anyhow, so that kind shot me ass, but I’m not mad at her because I’m more mad at the Instagram algorithm.

Sevan Matossian (21:45):

You’re at the people or the world, not her. Yeah. Well,

Josh Pirtle (21:48):

I just think, obviously the joke was funny right there. Here you go. Here’s hers.

Sevan Matossian (21:54):

Same street.

Speaker 6 (21:55):

You realize that your physical health is way worse than your mental health. If you’re ever feeling sad, just go for a run because then you’ll

Sevan Matossian (22:04):

Realize she gave you credit.

Speaker 6 (22:04):

Physical health is way worth it. Oh,

Josh Pirtle (22:06):

Cool. That helps.

Sevan Matossian (22:10):

I know. Remember when that used to be a big deal. Now it doesn’t even matter. God, hers isn’t even better than yours. Oh, she got a nice face, dude.

Josh Pirtle (22:17):

No, she’s, I’m not saying she’s ugly, but hey, if you go back to hers real fast,

Sevan Matossian (22:22):

But you’re just saying she didn’t have her titties out,

Josh Pirtle (22:25):

Correct? She did not have her. She did not. Can you click her? Oh no. This might be different. Nevermind. It’s okay. On the app, on her phone, you can click her audio. You can see everybody who’s used her audio. That’s why I’m saying you can see this person used it. 20 million views, tid million views. It’s like on and on and on. I’m

Sevan Matossian (22:41):

Like, and your neighborhood looks nice. You seem like you live in a more privileged area. Look at that lawn. That lawn is be

Josh Pirtle (22:48):

Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. I live in a neighborhood that has to decorate for Christmas every year.

Caleb Beaver (22:55):


Sevan Matossian (22:56):

Eaton Beaver. Good morning. Kind of fit. Kind of fluffy is my favorite shirt next to my c e o shirt. Of course.

Josh Pirtle (23:02):

Thank you. Thanks. Eatonton Beaver.

Caleb Beaver (23:04):

Oh yeah. He sent me, or I ordered a shirt from him while I was deployed. Oh, did?

Josh Pirtle (23:08):

Yeah. Oh yeah, buddy.

Caleb Beaver (23:10):

He actually sent it to me while I was in Jordan. That was cool.

Sevan Matossian (23:14):

Zombie bashing on me

Josh Pirtle (23:17):

A little bit. Dude,

Sevan Matossian (23:19):

We were holding you up as a beacon of moral authority. We could put a positive spin on it. Wad. Zombie takes such responsibility. He’s not like those other jackass meme guys who hide behind him and wooly really take responsibility and allow their face to be seen because they’re not pussies.

Josh Pirtle (23:41):


Sevan Matossian (23:42):

My assumption is that they were pussies and that’s on me because I’m a pussy. I’m projecting onto them. Those guys are actually brave and I’m thinking and making the presupposition that they edit their shit because their face has been seen and that’s just not true. And there’s no proof of that.

Josh Pirtle (23:56):

So brave. Oh look it.

Sevan Matossian (24:01):

This have on podcast just looking for stuff to complain about. Oh, nice.

Josh Pirtle (24:05):

What else is new?

Sevan Matossian (24:07):

Okay, so we have to send to Ireland a new set of headphones and glue. Bottle of glue to Josh. Can I use your real name? Is that okay? Or do I have to call you? Fd?

Josh Pirtle (24:20):

Okay. Yeah, fd, yeah. Fluffy D. Yeah, just a glue stick. Glue stick would be knife, glue stick would be knife. I also wanted to, I really was moved by your airport story that you told about the check-in with the guy who had the kids got in the wrong line. I was like, you know what? I should be more like sivan like that. I don’t think, I probably would not say nothing. I’d probably just be quiet and just watch the disaster unfold. So

Sevan Matossian (24:49):

Probably you. Well, how about this? How about the fact that most people probably didn’t even notice it was going on. Do you know what I mean? Most people are just fucking oblivious. Lemme give you the classic example. You hold the door open for the person behind you, let’s say at a jiu-jitsu studio where there’s a hundred people leaving or it’s somewhere. Something just got out and you hold the door open and people start pouring out. So you hold the door open for the person behind you, and then all of a sudden 20 people come out and no one takes the door from you. You’re like, what part of the social contract don’t you get? I got three kids that are walking away. I held the door open for one, and finally you’re just like, alright. And you let the door go, fuck

Josh Pirtle (25:28):


Sevan Matossian (25:30):

And it fucking clips some old lady.

Josh Pirtle (25:33):


Sevan Matossian (25:33):

You’re the asshole. Yeah. It’s like that at the airport. But what I like about you is at least you would notice it, right? So it could eat away at your conscience for the next five hours at your D bagg.

Josh Pirtle (25:44):

Correct? That’s

Sevan Matossian (25:45):

Exactly what I think most people are just completely oblivious.

Josh Pirtle (25:49):

Well, I think the perspective that you put on it was if that guy was to say exactly what you said, I’m sure it had been taken different by the people who worked there by being Calm down sir. Calm down, sir. But a bystander saying it in a calm tone hits different, land’s different.

Sevan Matossian (26:07):

And I will say this for people who don’t know, there was a guy, he got in the wrong line at the airport. He was with his kids and then it was going to make him late, and he was kind of coming unraveled. And so when I saw t s a guy walk by, even though I was at the end of the line too, I said, Hey, this dude needs some help. And the dude got help. But in all fairness, if I was in that dude’s shoes, if I was in either one shoe or two shoes, I would not have been able to do it for myself.


Do you know what I mean? I would’ve needed my wife to do that for me. I felt like I was actually channeling my wife. Do you ever feel like you’re channeling someone close to you? I felt like I was channeling my wife. Yeah. It was weird. Like, well, right, I’m going to completely steal her personality right now. My wife will do that. I’m just making this up. But if I’m on the phone yelling at the credit card company because they charge me for something I didn’t buy, my wife will just be like, here, take the phone from me and send me to my room. Hi. I’m sorry. Yeah. Yeah. He drinks in the morning. Sorry.

Josh Pirtle (27:15):

Yeah, it’s funny. I think my wife would probably be more out of the two, her or I to do something like that. She’d be more likely the person who would do something

Sevan Matossian (27:24):

Heroic. And I was so proud of myself. I was pretty high.

Josh Pirtle (27:31):

No, that was pretty awesome, dude. That was a good story. I was like, that’s what I was saying. I was like, man, I need to, because even if it didn’t work for some reason, then it was really No, you basically had nothing to lose in that scenario. So it was just all upside. So why not do those things?

Sevan Matossian (27:47):

Hey, why not get to the airport an hour early and just fucking just be hooking people up.

Josh Pirtle (27:54):

Just go there. Just try to be, yeah.

Sevan Matossian (27:55):

Blowing Republican congressmen in the bathroom, shit like that. You know what I mean? Just giving up. Oh, for sure.

Josh Pirtle (28:01):

Why not?

Sevan Matossian (28:01):

Same thing, ed, Republican homosexuals, just blowing him in the bathroom. Just get to the airport a little hour early to do that.

Josh Pirtle (28:07):

Yeah, same thing.

Josh Pirtle (28:11):

Well I know Shaquille O’Neal does stuff like that. He’ll go to this random Walmarts and Targets and jewelry stores. Just try to hook people up all the time. You ever seen him do that? You ever seen those videos?

Sevan Matossian (28:20):

I haven’t seen him, but there’s another guy I follow who gives, I think he’s Canadian. He always gives money away. And whenever I see the money, but I can’t stand the dude’s voice. He has one of those voices. You know how when someone’s being nice, they have a nice voice. You can’t stand that nice voice. Just use your regular voice.

Josh Pirtle (28:38):

I got you. Customer service voice.

Sevan Matossian (28:42):

Hi. This guy always goes, hi, can I need a dollar to get on the bus? Could I have a dollar? And then the people, and then some old lady who has two different shoes on that don’t match and it’s all disheveled and overweight and fucked up with a cane and has teeth missing. And be like, I have a dollar for you here. And he’s like, oh, I didn’t even need the dollar. Why did you give it? And he always says saying, why did you give it to me? She’s like, I like to help people. I didn’t have a dollar yesterday, so I can give this one to you. Oh, is your favorite team the Lakers? Because she’ll be wearing in a Laker jersey or something. Yeah, I like Kobe. I was at his house yesterday. RP too soon. Here’s $500 and some Lakers tickets. Yeah. And meanwhile, this guy’s just got fucking three strippers back at his hotel room. That’s fucking, it’s like, dude, just use your regular voice. Yo bitch, what’s up? You got a buck for the bus Of what? It’s just so stupid how he does that. It ruins the whole bit. It makes it so I can only watch four of them and then be like, okay, I’m over your shit. He walks.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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