940 – Sunday Service | Live Call In Show

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

Wrestling matches, like are the best of three. Bam. We’re live. Caleb. Hi. Good morning.

Caleb Beaver (00:03):

Good morning.

Sevan Matossian (00:08):

Take him in people. Take him in. There he is. Settle down. <laugh> break, pull down the posters. We’re calling off the, uh, poster initiative. How the fuck, what, what, what is wad? Zombie doing? What a great opportunity for a post a Where’s Caleb Post?

Mattew Souza (00:28):

<laugh>? I come. He could have

Sevan Matossian (00:30):

Been. He should he. You, Caleb. You should have or, uh, wads on me here. You need to put him, uh, dress him up as a stripper and put him on a corner. And the tenderloin with like a crack pipe. We found Caleb.

Mattew Souza (00:42):

<laugh>. <laugh>. It’s

Sevan Matossian (00:46):

Good, right? Hey, are you guys looking at this, um, on our, uh, semifinal thread with all the fucking, uh, games, wars on it? Are you seeing this? Um, talk about High Rocks?

Caleb Beaver (00:56):

Yeah, I started watching that.

Sevan Matossian (00:59):

What’s crazy is this, I think they do have a packed house for a live event, but, uh, yesterday it popped up in my, um, YouTube for suggestions to watch. And it has fewer views than this podcast

Mattew Souza (01:10):

<laugh>. I mean, it’d be kinda boring to watch, right? Like, it’s not exactly the most spectator friendly sport. I feel like you have to like, be there and be into it to like, enjoy watching it.

Sevan Matossian (01:20):

I guess they do a bunch of different shit. I mean, like the running parts. I don’t know. They they change. Yeah, they, they do, they they run six times and do six different movements. Like in an hour, basically. Right?

Mattew Souza (01:31):


Sevan Matossian (01:31):

So they shift stations. If that’s 12, they shift stations every five minutes. Yeah, I guess that’s, I mean, on average, I guess that is pretty boring. So it’s the guy doing, running for five minutes. Broad jumps for five minutes. Running for five minutes. Wall balls for five minutes. I mean, I’m, I’m make doing easy math. What were you gonna say, Caleb?

Caleb Beaver (01:47):

It is a lot of running. Like, I was just skipping the runs every time.

Mattew Souza (01:54):

Yeah. See, like watching ’em row. Then they run, they like push a sled and they like run. Might just have play in the background.

Sevan Matossian (02:03):

Did did you watch any of that battle bunker stuff that happened yesterday?

Mattew Souza (02:08):


Sevan Matossian (02:09):

I wanna talk to them and figure out how they film that.

Mattew Souza (02:13):

Was it done good?

Sevan Matossian (02:14):

Oh, I was just wondering about Alison, if she still watches the show. Good morning, Allison. Hi, Jake Chapman. Good morning. Uh, they have a great community at events. It’s reminiscent of old CrossFit events. Oh, okay. Cool. Yeah. I wonder if they have a cool, um, online community, like people who train together for the events. Like it’s some, is is Highrock like some sort of rehab shit too? You know how like marathons are like rehab shit? <laugh>. They have a disproportionate amount of former meth heads and shit in their group.

Mattew Souza (02:42):

I mean, if it’s endurance, it’s gonna lead you to think that that’s definitely a possibility. Right? Right. A lot of those, like recovering addicts are endurance junkies.

Sevan Matossian (02:51):

Uh, Savon, it’s, uh, sev podcast, uh, uh, eight one K runs and eight workouts. Oh, shit. Okay. Well, okay. 16. Okay, so that’s better. Every three minutes you’re shifting stations. Well, thank you. I, that’s better. I’m starting to dig it. Three minutes is about all I need for any activity. I’m maxed out hand job. Two minutes, less than


Four minute hand job. It’s ridiculous. Uh, sev, uh, have, uh, have, how have your fir first few days as a black man been? Here’s the thing. I’ve always been a black man and I, and, and, and the thing is, I, I guess the thing is, I was right. I had this theory that you shouldn’t tell black kids and Jew kids that the world’s out to get them cuz they don’t know. Right. You only know what you know. And so I didn’t know. Um, I’m, I’m always feeling oppressed. That’s the thing. And I didn’t know. But I’m, I fully accept it. I know some of you think I’m joking, but I’m, I’m like, actually not in the slightest is actually talking with Susa about this and other people. It’s like, here, here’s the thing. The truth is, it’s just all dudes and it’s okay. There’s, I’m zero complaining. Every 16 year old boy should be a little paranoid when a cop pulls behind him. And that should follow you through the rest of your life until you’re like 80. And then when a cop pulls you over, you pull your dentures out and laugh at him. And that’s it. <laugh>


Watch. Okay. Watch. Just watch. Um, Caleb, if you’re, uh, driving down the street, um, and it’s eight o’clock at night and you see a cop go in the other direction, uh, what, what’s the first thing you do?

Caleb Beaver (04:24):

Slow down.

Sevan Matossian (04:25):

Yeah. And then what’s the second thing you do?

Caleb Beaver (04:27):

Clench my asshole. <laugh>.

Sevan Matossian (04:28):

And then the third. Good, good. I, I, I, yep. I’m with you so far. And what’s the third thing you do?

Caleb Beaver (04:34):

Checks. I don’t know. Check. See if I have my Id

Sevan Matossian (04:37):

Stare in the rear mirror. Yeah. Yeah. This one, you look in the rear view mirror, right? Yeah.

Caleb Beaver (04:40):


Sevan Matossian (04:42):

And, and even if you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, right? Definitely. You immediately look in the rear view mirror, is this motherfucker gonna make a U-turn?

Caleb Beaver (04:50):

And I watch him like, until I can’t see him anymore.

Sevan Matossian (04:53):

Yeah, me too. <laugh>. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

Caleb Beaver (04:56):

Yeah. I definitely do that. Even the base cops, like, uh,

Sevan Matossian (04:59):

You, you might be a black dude too. That is the characteristic that the media has sold on us. That is the narrative of the black man. And, and listen people, it’s, it’s completely, uh, not a, uh, um, a uh, it’s, it’s a, it’s a man. I don’t know about. I can’t speak for women. I actually haven’t had this conversation with women. But this is a total man, uh, phenomenon. And, and I wanna tell you something. We all men should feel that that’s the only way we keep fucking society in check. It’s, it’s perfectly okay for when a cop, do you agree? Guys? Agree with me.

Caleb Beaver (05:33):

It’s good

Sevan Matossian (05:33):

To give a little bump check to dudes driving around in their cars. Always. Yeah. Walking around like, okay.

Caleb Beaver (05:38):

The, the base police used to just set up cars that were like unattended, like police cars that were just unattended places. Yeah. Yeah. And just to like, make people slow down. Like they would just put like a literal dummy in the car. No actual person is in it. And then they’d park it where people were normally speeding. And then there was just like a dramatic decline in people, uh, speed when they drive past it.

Sevan Matossian (05:59):

I, I was 20 some odd years old. I was sitting at an outside restaurant called Java’s. I just ordered a Turkey, avocado and bacon sandwich. I was sitting there waiting for it outside. And five cops rolled by on bicycles. And as they went by, I stared at them just like chill, not mad, dogging ’em nothing. I was probably barefoot wearing fucking corduroys with fucking holes in them. And I had long hair. And then they rolled over to me and the cop gets off his bike and he goes, what are you looking at? And I said, I’m looking at you, sir. And he said, why? And I said, that’s what 23 year old men do. When cops go by. They stare at them. He said, can I see some id? I said, absolutely. I stood up and pulled my wallet out. I gave him my driver’s license. He ran my number. He said, can you put your hands behind your back? I said, what for? He said, you have an outstanding warrant for your arrest. I said, what for? He said, for a dog off a leash ticket,

Mattew Souza (06:46):


Sevan Matossian (06:46):

I said, I paid that. He said, but you were supposed to show up in court. I said, I have the receipt where I paid for it. Right, right here in my wallet. I’ll, I’ll go to court. He said, no, it’s too late. And he arrested me.

Mattew Souza (06:56):


Sevan Matossian (06:56):

I am a fucking black man. I, I mean, I, I I, I can tell you this stories ad nauseum. I, I go, I, I feel like I go through this every few years, but I just never understood more and more. I’m just understanding it, right? I mean, we all, all of us boys have that, um, story anyway. So I think it’s a misnomer to say the first, I think, wait, how is the first few days of realizing that I’m a black man? It’s cool. It’s a, i it’s this fucking sense of relief. It’s a fucking sense of relief. Yeah. And you know what? It’s funny too, Jessica. That’s a dick move attitude arrest. Yeah. And you know what’s crazy? So they put me in the car and then he drives me into the station and halfway there, I could tell he feels like a total douche. A total douche, uh, black man. Don’t call the cops all the fucking time. I got a little white guy in me, still a little fucking white midget in me. I’m close to white midget. Oh, David, shut your pile. Hole. Don’t call the cops all the time.

Mattew Souza (08:06):


Sevan Matossian (08:08):

When I’m with your mom and she tries to push on that spot in between my ball sack and my anus. When I ejaculate David, I call the cops on her. I’m like, dude, I’ve told you 20 times, don’t touch that spot.

Mattew Souza (08:18):

Little paint touch.

Sevan Matossian (08:19):

Yeah. She like to push that button in Miss Weed. Please stop. Don’t I’ll call the cops. Um, uh, I really, um, I’m, I’m fascinated by this text thread about High Rocks. I don’t know why. Did you guys watch the Fights last night?

Caleb Beaver (08:39):

Yeah, I did.

Sevan Matossian (08:41):

Um, Al what, what happened to Aldona? She just shit the bed.

Caleb Beaver (08:46):

I mean,

Sevan Matossian (08:47):

She can fight and she can take a punch like no other.

Caleb Beaver (08:51):

Yeah. I don’t know. I just feel like if you’re gonna backfill a fight for a championship belt, you’re not, you’re not ready.

Sevan Matossian (08:59):

Oh. Uh, it was

Caleb Beaver (09:02):

Pretty disappointing

Sevan Matossian (09:03):

Cr crazy that she lasted. Right?

Caleb Beaver (09:05):

Uh, I was impressed by

Sevan Matossian (09:06):

That. I mean, she took some fucking shots. I’m not, I, for some reason I’m not, uh, Amanda Nunez fan. I don’t know why I can’t get my head wrapped.

Caleb Beaver (09:14):

Yeah, I’m not a fan. I dunno, either.

Sevan Matossian (09:16):

Hey, and you know what else I noticed? Um, for the first time ever, so Amanda Nunez has been fighting since 2008 people. It’s now 2024. She’s the great, maybe I would say she’s gonna go down as the greatest female fighter ever for a while. And she holds two belts in the ufc, which is crazy. She retired with two belts and, um, she’s always had her girlfriend there. She always kisses his girl, her girlfriend in the ring. She always, um, has her kid with her. But there’s never a gay pride flag. There’s no mention of her being a lesbian. It’s just completely normal. Do you know what I mean? Can you remember a fight when her girlfriend’s not there and they don’t kiss?

Caleb Beaver (09:52):

No. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (09:53):


Caleb Beaver (09:53):

And there’s never Yeah, they don’t like flaunt it around, I guess.

Sevan Matossian (09:56):

No, but it’s just, it is just, it’s just, you

Caleb Beaver (09:57):

Know, that couple, those two were together.

Sevan Matossian (09:59):

Yeah. And there’s their kid and there’s no fucking, like they’re, they’re not going to fucking elementary schools. Uh, talking about how, uh, the struggle of being a lesbian couple, uh, Amanda’s not a victim. Yeah. It’s not, it’s not being, it’s not being forced down our throat. Just, uh, yeah. She’s alpha. Yeah, she is alpha as fuck, right? <laugh>, Jonathan, I don’t know. That’s not exactly what I’m going for. Jonathan Ortega says, no one cares. She’ll fuck you up if you say some weird shit. I just mean, I just, I don’t mean it like that. Like, we don’t talk about it cuz we’re scared of her. I just mean, it’s like, like, don’t be a fucking weirdo. Just fucking act cool. When

Caleb Beaver (10:42):

Do you think hw

Sevan Matossian (10:44):


Caleb Beaver (10:44):

When do you think H WPO is gonna start doing like Jiujitsu programming with her?

Sevan Matossian (10:49):

I, I don’t know. There was a, there was a, there was a, um, uh, I don’t know. I I I heard that, um, her and the, um, uh, world’s Strongest Gay are gonna start an only fans page. So you can see gay man and a lesbian woman together. That’s what I mean. That’s I rumors. Just strictly rumors. Uh, Kenneth, uh, G Giordano. This show is awesome. Thanks everyone. It really is awesome. Uh, David Weed. Uh, Amanda’s a cool dude. Yeah. I think, I think her household’s probably crazy though. I don’t think, I don’t think, I think she’s hard to date. That’s what I’m guessing. Um, uh, oh, here we go. This is gonna piss me off. I can tell. Uh, gp GP is different than G’S Louise, right?

Caleb Beaver (11:44):

Yes. That’s

Sevan Matossian (11:46):

Interesting. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that Savon had the pound for pound King Volk on, but still can’t get lower Hova back on. Oh,

Mattew Souza (11:55):


Sevan Matossian (11:56):

Thank you. That doesn’t piss me off. I appreciate it. Um, the thing is this, I don’t know if we really, well, I was gonna kind of, I can’t tell if it’s just my ego saying that we’re not really trying to get Laura on. It’s, it’s just part of like, the shtick to say we can’t get her on. I mean, we probably still can’t get her on either.

Mattew Souza (12:12):

Yeah. There’s probably some truth to that, but we haven’t really tried either. Right.

Sevan Matossian (12:16):

I put more effort into putting these toe spacers on every morning than I do, um,

Mattew Souza (12:22):

Contacting Laura Horvath <laugh>.

Sevan Matossian (12:27):

But, but that being said, I would not wear these to toe spacers for a week. Um, if Laura Horvat would come on, like, if that was the stipulation, she was like, please don’t wear those. Or if she was like, please don’t wear those when I’m on the show. I’d be like, no problem.

Mattew Souza (12:40):

<laugh>, we could accommodate no toe spacers. While you’re on,

Sevan Matossian (12:45):

Um, Caleb, I have a medical question for you.

Caleb Beaver (12:48):

Oh, great.

Sevan Matossian (12:49):

What does this smell my toe spacers have? This is, is that, is that yeast? It’s what I imagine. Ye

Caleb Beaver (12:55):

Did they have the smell before you put them on?

Sevan Matossian (12:57):

No. No, no, no. This is

Mattew Souza (12:59):


Sevan Matossian (13:01):

I mean, it is, it is a trip. Probably. I don’t, don’t, I don’t like the smell, but I can’t stop smelling them.

Mattew Souza (13:07):

Is it skunk?

Caleb Beaver (13:08):

Yeah. What does it smell like? Is it like sour?

Sevan Matossian (13:14):

Yeah. Uh,

Caleb Beaver (13:18):


Sevan Matossian (13:19):

Uh, let me see. Uh, to toe spacers. Uh, gay as fuck. No, that’s not what they smell. Like fungus. I guess. Fungus. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. Here we go. I don’t know what this means, but it smells like a kind of cheese. It does smell. Uh, uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. To bases aren’t supposed to smell like anything. Oh, that’s not good. These de these definitely did not. I think cheese is close. I was gonna say yeast, but I don’t really know what, um, yeast smells like. But it’s what I imagine yeast to smell like

Mattew Souza (13:53):

Thoughts. Do you, do

Caleb Beaver (13:54):

You probably just, just the stank in your feet,

Mattew Souza (13:58):


Caleb Beaver (13:59):

Do you shoes all the time?

Sevan Matossian (14:01):

No, I hardly ever wear shoes.

Caleb Beaver (14:03):

Well, it’s probably not that. Usually if people wear shoes too much, then it’s, you just get like a buildup of uh, like, it’s like humid in there,

Sevan Matossian (14:13):

But something just ate off. Something is in the middle of eating off one of my toenails. Like I have a toenail where half of it’s missing and you know, it’s missing from the bottom up. And so you can see the new toenail underneath. It’s a trip

Caleb Beaver (14:27):

That’s a fungus for

Mattew Souza (14:28):

Sure. Oh, okay.

Sevan Matossian (14:30):

<laugh> is the fungus related? Is there is? So could so this cheese smell makes sense. Yeah.

Caleb Beaver (14:36):

It’s probably correlated. You could get like a cream for it, but really it’s probably just gonna solve itself.

Sevan Matossian (14:44):

All right. Well I got ’em on. Um, toast Pasters aren’t supposed to smell like anything. I do not have four inch toenails. I have nothing that’s four inches.

Mattew Souza (14:56):

How dare you? Maybe three.

Sevan Matossian (15:01):

Oh really? Is this true? This is like something my dad would say. Oh, gross. Slap some V Vicks on there. Vick’s. Like, Vick’s like vapor rub. Is that, is that

Mattew Souza (15:11):

Maybe she’s referring just to mask the smell.

Sevan Matossian (15:14):


Mattew Souza (15:16):

Put a little under

Sevan Matossian (15:17):

My, just put a little under my nose.

Mattew Souza (15:19):

Rub on your chest. Your nose. There you go.

Sevan Matossian (15:21):

Uh, dick butter. Good morning, Olivia. Please stop. Okay, fine. Anything for you? Olivia

Mattew Souza (15:27):


Sevan Matossian (15:30):

I don’t wear sock. I don’t wear socks really either that often, but if I wear shoes, I wear socks. Vick secures everything. No shit. Okay. I’ll try that.

Mattew Souza (15:41):

That’s a Mexican re remedy.

Sevan Matossian (15:43):

Is that, is that Mex? Is that culturally Mexican?

Mattew Souza (15:46):

Yeah, I’m, they’re gonna, I would say Mexican’s probably appropriate, but a bunch of people use it.

Sevan Matossian (15:52):

Oh no, I’m not gonna like this. Next comment. Oh no, <laugh>. Here we go. Brace yourself. Uh, Chevon

Mattew Souza (16:01):


Sevan Matossian (16:02):

I used to date an Armenian chick and her feet smelled like pure unal unadulterated full baby diaper.

Mattew Souza (16:09):


Sevan Matossian (16:11):

That hurt that. Okay, let’s start this show.

Mattew Souza (16:14):

Let’s rub it off on the toe Pacers.

Sevan Matossian (16:16):


Mattew Souza (16:19):


Sevan Matossian (16:20):

Okay. Number 64. Uh, your son. Here we go. We’ll start with something, uh, fun here. Let’s just go straight to, uh, I, David, I, I David, I dedicate this, uh, joke to Mr. David Weed. Um, oh, look at it. Pop up down there. That was cute.

Mattew Souza (16:36):

Oh, interesting. I had to adjust the little boxes.

Sevan Matossian (16:38):

Okay, here we go. But wait, wait, wait, wait. Waitson Sevi using semen as Chapstick. Listen asshole. You can’t call me Sevi and fucking throw me under the bus. Seve’s like my affectionate name. Like when you say nice shit about me, like sevi, your show rocks. Not I use semen as chapstick.

Mattew Souza (16:55):

Jesus. He’s got like a nice little photo of a bridge at dusk too.

Sevan Matossian (16:59):

He man,

Mattew Souza (16:59):

Like a nice,

Sevan Matossian (17:01):

We got a jumper.

Mattew Souza (17:03):

<laugh>. Uh,

Sevan Matossian (17:04):

Yeah. That’s not good. Okay. He missed the new one. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 4 (17:10):

It’s been 15 years since we last saw each other. I’m just gonna go to the bathroom quickly. Hey, which one of us has the most successful son? My son is very successful. Hey, he owns a car dealership and actually just gave his best friend a Ferrari. Well, that’s nothing. My son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet. Well, my son’s more successful than that. He owns an architectural firm and just gave his best friend his own castle. Uh, what are you guys talking about? We’re talking about how successful our sons are. Well, my son is a gay stripper. Oh wow. You must be disappointed at what he’s done with his life. Actually. He’s doing pretty well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a castle from his three boyfriends. Can’t

Mattew Souza (17:48):

Believe been 15 years since we Oh boy. <laugh>.

Sevan Matossian (18:03):

That’s good. I like it. Uh, 62. Oh, here we go. Oh, this is, this is, this one’s just titled nasty joke for me to say nasty. It must be bad. Uh, Chris Westerfield Savon just cured my foot fetish. Listen, there’s, this show is capable of all sorts of, uh, things. Hey, um, would you, would you, uh, put, would you put put uh, uh, Danielle Brandon’s toe spacers, uh, in your mouth? Would you wear, would you wear Danielle Brandon’s toe spacers in your mouth, uh, as a mouthpiece, uh, for doing mph

Mattew Souza (18:36):

<laugh>? Cause there’s no,

Sevan Matossian (18:41):

And, and, uh, if you do, if you do, you get to, uh, keep them

Mattew Souza (18:45):


Sevan Matossian (18:47):

Okay. What is, what is this nonsense? Okay. Okay, here we go. Oh, NAS joke. Okay. The most offensive joke ever told. Okay, here we go. Brace yourself. This one, this one’s even over the top for me, but here we go.

Mattew Souza (18:58):


Speaker 5 (18:59):

Most offensive joke that you’ve ever written.

Speaker 6 (19:03):

The, if only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids

Mattew Souza (19:11):


Sevan Matossian (19:16):

Yeah. Cuz there’s supposedly a lot of aids in Africa and it’s like value in the life of mosquitoes. It’s like, it’s like it’s mean. It’s a mean joke.

Mattew Souza (19:24):

That’s a mean joke.

Sevan Matossian (19:25):

Uh, gp do you think Danielle Brandy is so admired by guys because she’s the only top girl with actual boobs? Yes. Darn it. Did I say that out loud? Did I I answer that too quickly. Uh, uh, Emily Rolf has boobs. Uh, Emily Turner has boobs.

Mattew Souza (19:45):

Alexis RTUs.

Sevan Matossian (19:48):

Alexis RTUs has boobs.

Mattew Souza (19:51):

I would say kind of,

Sevan Matossian (19:52):

I try not to look at her like that. She seems like she’s 14 to me. <laugh>, but maybe she’s not.

Mattew Souza (19:59):

She’s a grownass woman.

Sevan Matossian (20:00):

But I look at Alexis RTIs like this.

Mattew Souza (20:03):


Sevan Matossian (20:06):

Okay, I’ll stop. Fine. I know, but, but it, it, it’s a, I I don’t think that’s the only reason. I think Danielle, Brandon’s got this whole girl’s next door thing going on too. Like Danielle, Brandon’s the kind of girl. Like if she, if the top ripped off of her convertible, she don’t give a fuck <laugh>, just throw it on the side of the road and keep driving like something she don’t give it. Like, she’s not gonna let that ruin her day. Yeah. Here we go. Jay Harle. It’s Danielle Brand’s fucking attitude. Yeah. Yeah. Like if you’re a dude who has O C D and like needs things like perfect. That’s not the girl for you. She’s going to test that. Um, test that.

Mattew Souza (20:48):

And she seems like she has like more, uh, like just more going on outside of the CrossFit games. Like go to Instagram and she’s like partying with friends on the beach. Like, and usually the competitors at that top of level, it’s just like me working out, me sleeping, needing the right food. And she’s like taking shots at tequila and like killing it at the beach and shit.

Sevan Matossian (21:07):

I, I, I could see her, you know, you go to a bathroom and there and you take a shit and then there’s no toilet paper and so you gotta reach into the trash can to wipe your ass with toilet paper that’s in there. Danielle, Brandon does that without flinching.

Mattew Souza (21:17):

Okay. <laugh>

Sevan Matossian (21:18):

Not a problem. She’s not like looking for a clean piece or something.

Mattew Souza (21:23):

She adapts easily. Yeah. In any environment. She don’t give a fuck.

Sevan Matossian (21:28):

Okay. This is fair too. Uh, uh, girl next door, uh, uh, is wrapped as, uh, uh, Danielle. Brandon is crazy hot. Uh, crazy. I, but the thing is, is I don’t think any of ’em can be like crazy.

Mattew Souza (21:43):


Sevan Matossian (21:43):

Just too, there’s just so much discipline around what they’re doing. Right.

Mattew Souza (21:48):

I don’t know. I think all of ’em are crazy.

Sevan Matossian (21:50):

I mean like crazy. I mean, like, they’re, none of those bitches are going to jail.

Mattew Souza (21:53):

Well, no, not that kind of crazy. Yeah, they’re not fool crazy. Yeah. They stop.

Sevan Matossian (21:59):

Where’s when I think of like, like, like, like, like when I think of crazy, I think of like some chicks, like the entourage of girls that probably hang around like Floyd Mayweather. Like they, they get in bar fights and shit.

Mattew Souza (22:08):

<laugh>. Oh, I don’t know. I feel like if you tee cheated on Danielle, Brandon, you’d come out in the windows of your truck, be busted out,

Caleb Beaver (22:16):

Keyed your car.

Mattew Souza (22:17):

Yeah, for sure. Spray painted like bitch on it. Like

Sevan Matossian (22:21):

She probably has a pretty uh, she probably has a pretty gnarly, uh, ghosting game too.

Mattew Souza (22:26):

Oh yeah. <laugh>. Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (22:28):

For sure. Just ghost you and break your fucking heart. Your heart shrives up. It gets no sunlight in your Never. Yeah. Your heart dies.

Mattew Souza (22:34):

She gets bored of you. And then that’s it. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (22:36):

You toast.

Mattew Souza (22:36):

Yeah. Whatever the last text she answered was the last text she’ll ever answer.

Sevan Matossian (22:40):

Yeah. She’s not like the kind of girl where you break up with her or she breaks up with you and you’re like, Hey, can we have sex one more time? And she’s like, yeah, nah.

Mattew Souza (22:48):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Sevan Matossian (22:49):

She’s like, I’ll lose my phone number. Gone. <laugh>. Yeah.

Mattew Souza (22:53):


Sevan Matossian (22:53):

Three steps ahead of you. Lose my phone number. Uh, 57. Uh, uh, formula one, uh, racing, this is kind of a trip, right? Formula One racing. I, I don’t understand this full story. Maybe someone will paint the picture for me, but Formula One racing. Oh. Oh, this is two different stories about Formula One racing. Okay, let’s play this. This is really interesting. There’s a city called, um, uh, is a country not a city, right? Or is it a city and a country?

Caleb Beaver (23:19):

Monaco is the, it’s like a kingdom country. City, yeah. Kind of like a kingdom, I guess.

Sevan Matossian (23:24):

Like, and it, and it, and it’s smaller than a central park in New York. And I heard that you can’t even buy a home there unless you establish you have like 20 million in the bank. But some of these ultra

Mattew Souza (23:41):

Wealthy people go,

Sevan Matossian (23:42):

Uh, some of these numbers in here are, um, uh, staggering. Oh, Monaco, is it country in Europe? Oh no, that’s a person,

Caleb Beaver (23:51):

City, state,

Sevan Matossian (23:53):

Country. It says, is that what it says?

Mattew Souza (23:55):

Like the Vatican? It’s got its own rules.

Sevan Matossian (23:58):

It’s a sovereign city, state, and a micro state on the French Riviera. A few kilometers for west of the Italian region. There you go. Is is Monica part of France or Italy? It is surrounded on land by its neighbor France. And it’s, and Italy’s borders are just 10 miles away. Oh, it doesn’t, it says to stay there, you need a minimum of $300 a day. That sounds like fucking Santa Cruz

Mattew Souza (24:26):


Caleb Beaver (24:28):

It’s wild.

Mattew Souza (24:30):

300 a day doesn’t seem very much.

Sevan Matossian (24:32):

It’s nicknamed a billionaire’s playground and is the richest country in the world when measured by GDP per capita. And the average person there makes $173,688 a year. That, God, that doesn’t sound. Anyway, watch this. So Formula one goes there and it’s fucking, it sounds crazy.

Speaker 7 (24:55):

$2,000 and a yacht to attend this F one raise that is, uh, a brilliant, brilliant performance. The Monaco Grand Prix is like nothing else in all sports. And here’s five facts about Monaco’s venue. You will not believe at number five before the race even begins. 760 yachts pull into Port Hercules for the race costing on average $1 million between fuel crew and maintenance expenses to bring your yacht to Monaco. Okay,

Sevan Matossian (25:21):


Speaker 7 (25:21):

That. Wait till you hear number one.

Sevan Matossian (25:23):

So think about what that does to the economy. That’s a billion dollars of movement in the economy. Just to get those boats in there.

Caleb Beaver (25:34):

They were talking about this year they had a water shortage, so they couldn’t fill the pool for the race winner.

Sevan Matossian (25:40):

Is this serious?

Caleb Beaver (25:42):

Yeah, but their income is so much that I don’t know. It was, it was kind of backwards.

Sevan Matossian (25:48):

This friend of mine, uh, who was a, um, bodyguard for, uh, one of the prince is Prince Prince in Saudi Arabia told me that they were on a boat one time and they had helicopters flying pallets of Evon and they filled the pull-up with Evon.

Mattew Souza (26:07):

What the

Sevan Matossian (26:07):

Fuck do you think any of those plastic bottles ended up in the ocean?

Mattew Souza (26:11):


Sevan Matossian (26:16):

Okay. I that does what what do they do with the pool, Caleb? They jump in it after they win. What do you mean the pool?

Caleb Beaver (26:21):

Yeah. There’s like a, probably a five foot by 10 foot, 15 foot pool and at the, whoever wins the race, they go to that pool and the driver and their team jump in it.

Sevan Matossian (26:33):

That doesn’t even make any sense that they didn’t have enough water to fill that

Caleb Beaver (26:37):

<laugh>. They’re, they’re literally next to the ocean <laugh>.

Sevan Matossian (26:39):

Okay, let, let’s keep going

Speaker 7 (26:42):

At number. There are only 37,000 tickets available for the race with v i p tickets costing $16,000 each. Number three, Monaco is already home to the best F1 drivers of the world, like Louis Hamilton, Charles LeClair, and Max for Stop it. As there is zero federal income tax at number two. The Grand Prix in total brings in over 110 million a year making one third of Monaco’s population millionaires. Which is weird because that number one Monaco itself is smaller

Sevan Matossian (27:11):

Than New York City. Ok, pause that. So now we have a problem if one third of the population is millionaires, but the average, uh, G D P per person is a 73,000. That means there’s a shit, there’s just servants there, there. Well, obviously yeah, there’s just buildings there full of servants. I, I guess that, uh, I went to, uh, Dubai one time and they said that the Uua e had 6 million people and only 300,000 were residents and the other 5.4 million were servants. Could that fucking be true?

Caleb Beaver (27:43):

Oh, for sure.

Sevan Matossian (27:44):

And they’re brought in from like all over like, like, uh, what’s that country where they look like Indians, but they’re not Sri Lankans and shit.

Caleb Beaver (27:52):

That’s how they built the World Cup in Dubai

Sevan Matossian (27:56):

With, with people like that?

Caleb Beaver (27:57):


Sevan Matossian (27:59):

Just bringing in tons of servants. Okay. I dunno why I call them servants. I dunno if that’s propaganda employees, slaves.

Mattew Souza (28:07):

Um, if they’re being paid,

Sevan Matossian (28:09):

Maybe that’s because I identify with being black that all of a sudden I’m kind of like slant everything that way. That’s why I’m always landed it that way.

Mattew Souza (28:16):

Skewed towards that.

Sevan Matossian (28:18):


Mattew Souza (28:19):

Instead of just people with an opportunity inside of an amazing, beautiful city.

Sevan Matossian (28:22):

Yeah. Yeah. Living a great life of safety, clean water, sunshine,

Mattew Souza (28:27):

Living on a yacht, serving people, fluffing pillows. Nobody ever uses

Sevan Matossian (28:33):

Mason Mitchell. Mason knows a lot of stuff. Uh, they give the residents stipends. Same as the United Arab, uh, Emirates. Oh, hospitality specialists. <laugh>. Oh, okay. Melissa odi or, uh, uh, 90% of the UAE residents are expats, meaning that mean people who come from other countries. Immigrant. We call in this country, we call them immigrants. What if we started calling them Mexicans in this country? The, the or all the, the, the, the migrants. Uh, expats

Mattew Souza (29:03):

Ex patriots.

Sevan Matossian (29:05):

Yeah. To their country. Oh, ex. You know what I mean? Expats?

Mattew Souza (29:08):

Yeah. Don’t you only am Okay.

Sevan Matossian (29:10):

Wait, tell me. Expats are only from where? No, I

Mattew Souza (29:12):

Don’t know enough. I was gonna say, is it only like referred to from the us But I don’t actually know that. I don’t know.

Caleb Beaver (29:20):

I mean, technically it’s true. Here, I’ll give you the definition.

Sevan Matossian (29:26):

A person who lives outside their native country. Okay. So it’s Annie. Yeah. Yeah, man. We’re, we’re so blessed with all the expats that come to our country.

Mattew Souza (29:34):


Sevan Matossian (29:35):

You know what’s cool is you, there’s several ways to come to the United States, but one of them is, is you could take a vacation to, uh, Mexico and then do this crazy adventure race across the border. And they have guides. They’re called coyotes, <laugh>. And then you just roll in. And then we have, um, we have one of the largest, uh, hybrid military police forces in the world. They’re called, um, uh, Homeland Security and Border Patrol. And they’ll greet you and God.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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