#906 – Live Call in | Never Been Done Before

Sevan Matossian (00:04):

Good morning, Slater. Very slow morning. Very slow morning. Got rumble working again. Holy cow.

Sevan Matossian (00:13):

Got it.

Sevan Matossian (00:16):

Every morning I have to do that like one by one. I have to enter the, uh, the, the stream code every morning. I cannot stand it. It takes like three minutes and, and probably like 20 mouse clicks to go back and forth and get that, that, uh, that set up. Uh, oh. I have concerns.


Something’s not right. Something is not right. Uh, am I not? I don’t see it. Uhoh. Uhoh. Are we not live right now? Something’s not going on. Slater. Can you hear me? Something is not right. Okay. No show on YouTube. Aye. Aye, yai. Why is that? Uhoh? Uh, I wonder if, uh, we’ve been dinged again. Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. That is something is not. Let me see what’s going on here. Uh, um, it says I’m live. Oh shit. Someone made it unlisted. Fucking a, there we go. I wonder why that is. Can you guys hear me now? Uh, can you guys hear me now? Hello? I some, it was unlisted and I made it listed. Let me see what’s going on. I don’t know. I don’t know what happened. Uh, whoever programmed the show put it in wrong. It says, we are, uh, says there’s no viewers in the last 48 hours. Son of a bitch. I wonder if I can’t change that in real time. Ah, fucking killing me. Oh, we can hear you. All right. Thank you. Oh, here we go. Okay. Thank you. Sorry guys. That, oh God, for a second, I thought I got banned again. Interesting. Okay. Somehow this got set up as, um, I gotta tell Caleb Band, uh, su that somehow this got set up as unlisted. I’ve never seen that before. I wonder what happened.


Um, true strength of field with Brian, friend monetization is not turned on. Weird, weird, weird, weird. Uh, okay. Everything seems good now. We’re good to go. Last night’s show has already been because of some music we used. Son of a Bitch, uh, replaced the song. Oh, okay. Sorry. Or, uh, Logan Mars. Good to see you buddy. Great to see you. Um, thank you for the, uh, text yesterday with all the suggestions. That’s, that’s way cool. Um, and I, um, I take your suggestions seriously. And, uh, I’m gonna go through all those accounts you linked to me, man. The Glassman Show is huge. Maybe, uh, approaching 20,000 downloads on all the platforms. Crazy good stuff. People like to hear from him. We didn’t even, uh, that wasn’t even with much, uh, publicity or fanfare last night. Shows killing it, man. All the shows Brian on are on are doing great. People like to hear about that game shit with some sprinkled in. Uh, um, talk about being woke and testicles. Go figure. Yeah. Slow start this morning. Sorry. Interesting. Uh, I don’t see that happening on any other show. Well, I better, I better ask. I better ask. I better ask Caleb and Matt. Maybe I should call Matt just now. My sister said she just saw the show pop up. Okay.


Oh, Friday. So Friday is today. Tomorrow morning, my kids do a Jiujitsu tournament. Um, that stresses me out cuz I gotta get all their clothes and shit organized and then drive it there. And then you gotta get there an hour early. Then you gotta wait around an hour. And then you gotta make sure you get onto the, it’s not easy cuz it’s not. It’s not, um, it’s not that it’s not well organized. It’s just chaotic. There’s so many people there. So many people. Probably a thousand or 2000 people in a small room. It’s like a, like a, like a place like you’d eat lunch in the fifth grade. You know what I mean? One of those multi, what are those called? Multi-use rooms.


And, uh, so then we’d do that. And then I got to, uh, come home and pack up all my shit. And then I’m going to Newport, um, to hang out with, uh, the California hormones people for, uh, 10 days. But I have nowhere to do my podcast when I get there. And I’m fucking tripping. I’m tripping, I’m tripping, I’m tripping. I’m tripping. And there’s no need to trip, right? Cuz it’s like, it’s outta my control, but I’m tripping. Uh, corn Hok, uh, excited about the rollout of the Seon Network programming, starting with JR and T Listen, everyone says they wanna play ball, but they don’t. We will let, I’ll believe it when, uh, JR. And, uh, Mr. Uh, thumb do it. Don’t, don’t. Let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet. Okay? That’s a movie reference. Quentin Tarantino movie. I don’t do that very often. That’s just one of my, one of the only lines I know from a movie. Uh, Jake Chapman, uh, thank you. Uh, thank you, uh, Yoda. He says, remember, you are the wind that blows the arrow.


Dick butter. He is probably got a bunch of rants built up for us after these Vanilla Bryant episodes. I’m gonna have to slightly defend Brian and say that he is very, uh, thank you. Uh, pulp Fiction. Uh, uh, the, um, I, I wanna slightly defend Brian and, uh, say he tolerates a, uh, a lot. So, um, I have no idea what this means. None at all. I don’t know what chords are. I have no musical, uh, skills at all. Um, a place right now. I’ll probably get a ding for this. But, um, it’s worth enjoying anyway. Uh, before you judge anyone in the music industry, I thought I’d leave this here. Most big pop songs use the same for chords,

Speaker 3 (06:54):

Greatest hits from the past 40 years. Just used four chords, same Paul chords. For every song, it’s dead simple to write a pop hit. Just listen. Do you recognize this? Uh, yeah. Ladies Is Don’t Stop Believing by Journey. Great song. Very original few song fit. Check it out. My life is brilliant. My love is pure. I saw her name gel of that. It’s just two songs that are similar. That’s songs I wanna Be Forever Won’t No, no, cannot. Wait. I’m Jaws. This is the Way You Left Me Not Sand. Happy ending you. If I could, then I would you time, double time. Sometimes I feel I don’t have a partner. No woman cry. Char is a dream. I come from a land, all the greatest hits from the past 40 years, just his. Oh my

Sevan Matossian (08:23):

God. It, this is really good. But your comments are better. Heidi Kru, uh, dah day, uh, Jay Harle. Comedy music is awesome. I agree. Uh, wad zombie. Hello, hello, hello. Uh, oops. Shit, I lost you. Good morning. Uh, Jake Chapman. All sorts of wisdom coming from the man this morning. These three have never been to the Jim. Uh, same, same in country music. Uh, just needs four chords. Uh, deja and Tanu, uh, from the great country of Ghana. Uh, lead singer transitioned. Interestingly enough, he’s still funny as fuck, uh, uh, vindicate Make It Stop. You, you probably really play, um, um, music. So that’s why, you know, whether it’s good or not. I don’t, and I just, uh, I absolutely loved it. No. Seven second pause here yet. For me, it was just like 10 different songs. Each one played for three seconds. Uh, we will see, oh, should I see if we got d if I got dinged already? Let me see what’s going on here. Uh, refresh. Let’s see if we got a, uh, cuz they’re pretty damn quick on it. Oh, yep. Got it. Perfect. Already ding, something happened already. Crazy.


It’s not copyright though. It’s a, um, it’s, uh, that I said something wrong. Did I already swear? I already said, I already said the F word. Uh, I got this for you guys. This is kind of interesting. I, I, maybe, maybe, um, I told you I wasn’t gonna do any, um, 49 er content until, uh, after July because I am a world class pussy. Uh, but, um, this is, uh, worth, uh, pulling up. Here we go. Uh huh. What happened? What happened? It was there. Uh, W H W H O says 49ers are no longer, uh, super Bowl. Champs.


W h o says the 49ers are no longer the Super Bowl champs. And, uh, and, and we can just drop the whole thing. It’s no longer a, uh, health emergency as of today. It’s done. How crazy is that? I wonder what happened. I wonder why I, and I wonder cuz YouTube has like three pages of like, things you can and can’t say about it. It’s it’s crazy. The shit you can’t say about it, by the way, absolutely crazy. Anyone who’s on YouTube has sold out for sure. A hundred percent step on. You’re but you’re on YouTube. No, not. But you’re on YouTube and you’re on YouTube. Yeah, I know. I knows. I knows. Trust me, I knows I’m, I’m, I’m very aware. But Savon, you’re on YouTube. I know. I just told you. I know, but you said that you’re a sellout if you’re on YouTube. I, I I I know that’s correct. That, that, that’s, but Use said, okay. Uh, stop listening to my show. Please go away. Thank you. Have, have someone else explain it to you. It’s not, it’s not, it’s not confusing. Uh, uh and even in the slightest bit.


I don’t, I I went back and forth about showing this today. I went back and forth. I, I don’t know, but I’m gonna show you anyway. Um, this is, uh, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I, I don’t like Ambiguousness, but I’m gonna do this anyway. I’m just going to, you know, those people like, who make posts and be like, so what do you think? Um, but, but I’m gonna do it. I’m guilty. Here we go. This is, this is someone’s mom and her. I’m gonna show you her Instagram account. Uh, here we go. This is, uh, she has two boys.

Speaker 4 (12:15):

You could tag it. No. You wanna see me? Naked? Naked, naked. I wanna be a baby. Baby, baby. I want, you could tag it. No, you wanna see me naked, naked, naked. I wanna be a baby, baby. I, you could tag it.

Sevan Matossian (12:27):

I, I want you to take it. I know you wanna see me naked, baby, baby, baby or something. And then, and then you can go to her account. And I’m guessing she, she’s like a, someone who just like bought a new car and just can’t stop posting pictures of their Jeep. But she didn’t get a Jeep. She got boobs. But it, but it, it’s these kids. She’s a mom. And I was just kind of imagining that it was my mom. But, um, guess what kind of, uh, haircut first

Speaker 5 (12:59):

On you hand.

Sevan Matossian (13:07):

That’s it. I’m on. That’s it. I’m done with that. Okay. Uh, that’s a cool mom. Oh, okay. Alright. Uh, Jake Chapman. Nobody hates boobs. Alright. Alrighty. Um, disgusting. What’s the page name? Uh, if I, if I had, uh, fake tits, I’d let everyone see them. All right. Uh, Jay Harle, Allison’s a mom. Uh, David Weed, uh, boobs are awesome. Come on, man. Um, that’s an annoying mom. Uh, Mike, uh, McKowski, uh, mil. Okay. All right. All right. All right. I’m just leaving that alone. I’m, um, moving onward, upward and onward. Okay. Uh, I don’t, I, I think, I think there’s lots of funny comedians out there, like just shit shitloads. Uh, I’m calling it a single mom, uh, in some of those pictures, um,


In some of those pictures, uh, she’s with the guy who’s in, who’s, who’s with the family, who I, who I think is the, I, I assume is the dad. Uh, Jake Chapman. Can we have some hogs? Now? I’m, I’ve been trying to hold back on the hogs. It opened the floodgates with you guys. Jay Hardell. Uh, Audrey, your boobs are fantastic. That’s fair enough. Uh, dollar nine, uh, 99 for Audrey’s boob boob job. No, no, no. I I I I’m sending that money back to you. I’m putting, putting implant inside of the beautiful Audrey. Um, Mike McKowski, all female haters. I, I, I feel you on that. Uh, I, I’ll take, uh, the brunt of that. Okay. Sorry. I ju um, I just, uh, I just was thinking if that was my mom, would I, I I, I, I was just thinking maybe if that was my mom, um, Cameron, I personally text sev on a hog post, and he hasn’t given me love.


That’s pro, pro. I don’t remember, but I, I cannot, uh, deny that you probably have not hurt. Just disappointed. Kinda everyone wants their hog on the Chevon podcast. Oh, thank you. Now I’ve, my day made. I can’t comment. Uh, Don fall, uh, speaks up, uh, a regular guest on the show. Thank you, Don. Good to see you. I can’t comment on Audrey’s boobs. Uh, she did pull up facing, uh, the wrong way. Yeah. Uh, so when, when she does do that faces the wrong way, they’re, uh, she has to do two for ones. A lot of no reps there from, um, Audrey, uh, Michael. See seven. I’m really start really starting to think sometimes in our li in our lifetime, we will have proof and contact with alien beings. Uh, what if the 49ers was really to help with immunity, uh, from aliens? I mean, there’s all sorts of shit like that, right? There’s all sorts of, uh, discussion about that, about that. Basically, our immune system is all set up inside of us already, and it just turns on in, in phases. And that was just a, um, there, there’s a perspective where it just turned on. It’s just a phase for a bunch of us to turn on that portion of our immune system. Totally.


Uh, Audrey, I have another clip facing the other way as well. I will send it for approval. Okay. I will be waiting. Okay, here we go. Uh, I, the, whenever I hear the discussion of whether, um, like women are funny or not funny, I, I, I don’t even, it’s one of those things I don’t even process. Like, who? I, I wouldn’t, can’t even think like that. Like who cares if it’s a girl or a boy? I, I doesn’t even, that doesn’t even, I’m trying to think who the fu I guess I don’t know the name of the woman who I think is the funniest comedian of all time. Um, but anyway, here we, here we go. This guy, this guy’s pretty good. I like this. You kind of have to see your TV to enjoy this one. Or your, or your screen, whatever it is. Is it a tv? Whatever, it’s here. We

Speaker 3 (17:07):

Go of each other. Stop it. We stereotype too. Black people, white people can’t dance. White people dance their hair. [inaudible] just different. <laugh>. We the ones with the problem. Okay? We, when we dance with style, you know dance brother dance with style. Style, uh, style. Showing style, style style. White people don’t dance their style. They dancing. Freestyle <laugh>. How the hell you gonna run outta dance? You making it up right there. They dancing with what their mind tells their body. Some white people dance like black babies. Let me finish. You ever seen a little black two year old girl dance? Why it’s so cute? Cuz she’s sick. She dancing. Go Ebony. Go Ebony.

Speaker 6 (18:09):


Speaker 3 (18:13):

I see grown white men dance just like that. Go Gordon. Go Gordon.

Speaker 6 (18:17):


Speaker 3 (18:22):

Start loving each other. Stop it.

Sevan Matossian (18:24):

Movement. Comedies a trip, right? Moving your body around to do funny shit. God, it’s good. Uh, I had a, uh, friend, probably acquaintance is a better word now, uh, get, uh, um, a significant amount of money, $20 million. And I was thinking in my head, oh, if I got $20 million, I could invest that. And at most I could spend, uh, $750,000 a year for the rest of my life if I, if I invested it really wisely. Uh, but this guy says with, uh, with 27 million, maybe that’s before taxes is why he said that. Well, let’s see. This guy talks about, um, what you could do with 27 million. Uh, if you had 27 million, uh, what you could do. That’s why when I see anyone who like owns an expensive car, like a hundred thousand dollars car or like a brand new Escalade or something, I’m like, oh, shit. Did I, I wonder if this person knows how much money, uh, this actually is gonna cost them. Well, what they’re actually losing, what the potential was, what they could have done with that money. Uh, anyway, here, here we go. Here we

Speaker 7 (19:34):

Go. Number one, pick in tonight’s N F L draft. Here’s how much you’re gonna make and be able to spend the rest of your life. If you get picked, number one overall by the Carolina Panthers, your gross contract for your four year deal is going to be 41 million. 27 million of that 41 million will be in the form of a signing bonus, which means it is fully guaranteed. You’re literally gonna get the 27 million within the next 12 months. Most likely the remaining 14 million will be paid out game by game over the four year contract. As a financial advisor for professional athletes, I don’t really care about the gross contract value. I want to know what is getting into my client’s pockets to be able to use each client’s situation will be slightly different. But in general, you need to cut these numbers in half. 50% is going to go towards federal and state taxes, agent fees, necessary insurance, and other costs. So your 41 million contract is really closer to 20 million. 20 million in your early twenties is a lot of money, but it’s gotta last 88 years. If you live into a hundred, realistically, you could probably spend somewhere between 400 K and 500 k per year for the rest of your life, adjusted for inflation and not run out of money. Of course, this assumes that you are investing the money appropriately, not just letting it sit in a bank account or doing other things with it as the number one pick in tonight’s NFL draft.

Sevan Matossian (21:00):

Uh, and for those of you, I don’t, I don’t know where most of you live, but if you live in, uh, California and you make 400,000 a year or 500,000 a year, um, I don’t know. You could live, you could have two cars. You could have like a Toyota Sienna and a 4runner. You could have a 2,500 square foot house, couple kids, um, maybe, maybe one vacation a year, something. That’s it, Joe. Yeah. For 400,000 a year, maybe. May, may, maybe, maybe maybe 500,000. That’s sort of would be, it’s interesting, right? There you go. That’s for the number one draft pick.


Yeah, it’s like that. It’s like that. It is like that. Uh, I’m gonna try to get that guy on that on the show. I, I DMed him this morning. I DMed him this morning. You guys wanna talk about guns? You wanna talk about guns? I don’t know if this guy’s a real sheriff, but he sure wears this sheriff’s suit. Good. I’m always asking for donations. No. Uh, the world, I i i, the world will gimme what I, uh, deserve. Uh, please don’t send me your money. Please, um, send it to, uh, the US government. It needs it. Or give it to a fentanyl attic who’s passed out on the subway stairs on your way as you walk to work, please to one of those people. You know, they call them homeless. Uh, here we go. Uh, sheriff California Insider, uh, criminals are just being completely emboldened, empowered to commit more crimes because there are not consequences.


Yeah, no shit. Zero consequences. How about this guy in fucking New York that people are trying to defend? I don’t think anyone seriously is trying to defend him. But what a fucking joke. If any, if any of you ever ridden a subway in New York, it’s fucking crazy. Twice I’ve been chased off by someone literally chased. I couldn’t, I couldn’t really defend myself. I always had a camera both times, fucking nuts. I’d say I, I didn’t even, I probably sp been on the subway, I don’t know, 200 times or 500 times, I don’t know, in New York. And I would say at least 10% of the times there was something fucking, I saw something extremely hostile. Go down. It is fucking nuts under there. Absolutely nuts.

Speaker 8 (23:39):

Not one bit of statistical evidence that says law abiding citizens have concealed weapons. Permits are issued by law enforcement. Commit crimes. Not one, but yet they go on and say, oh, in light of these tragedies, and we’re gonna pass these common sense gun laws, this should not have happened. Had we had this bill in there. That’s a flatout lie. The governor got on camera, looked in that camera, and lied to the public, as did the Attorney general. And as did that legislature that’s trying to get that bill passed. They are flat out lying to the general public. This is what I would tell the governor. Show me one criminal that’s gonna come ask me if they can have a concealed weapon. Hey,

Sevan Matossian (24:14):

This is what it’s like in California. Now look at this. So this is a guy low, these, it’s a couple guys low in a liquor store, just stealing, right? This is just a mom and pop liquor store. This is like, my dad used to own one of these and now this is legal. You can do this, you can do this in California. Look at this shit and look at all the people just watching. Look at

Speaker 8 (24:34):

Weapons permit so they can go rob that liquor store. It isn’t gonna happen. They’re not

Sevan Matossian (24:37):


Speaker 8 (24:38):

Yeah, they’re just gonna do it. They’re gonna break the law and they’re going to do it. They are criminals. He wants,

Sevan Matossian (24:44):

No, hey, this is California right now. Literally, it’s like that, it’s like that movie, the Purge. And in Minnesota, they’re trying to make it so that you can, uh, rape children. This isn’t a, these aren’t, this isn’t like conspiracy theory. Like this is like happening in, in, in, in real time. Minnesota is trying to make it so you can’t discriminate, discriminate against people who fucked kids. It’s, it’s crazy. And this is already where we’re at in California, by the way. They’re also trying to pass a law in California that if a child dies within the first seven days of its, uh, life that you can’t, um, it may have passed already too. Uh, that you can’t, um, if a child dies in the first seven days of its life, you can’t prosecute the parents. You can’t even open up an investigation.

Speaker 8 (25:31):

No part of addressing criminal behavior. He wants to take guns away from law. Abi.

Sevan Matossian (25:36):

So, so that guy right there has a gun pointed at, uh, a lady in a dress. So if that dude in the backpack pulls out a gun and shoots that dude dead, are you guys cool with that? Are you guys cool with that? I’m just curious. We good with that? Anyone? Anyone? We good with that? Thank you. Of course. Yeah. Thank you. Of course. Uh, two, of course,

Speaker 8 (26:13):

Being citizens that don’t commit crimes, and yet somehow he wants to lie to everyone and tell us, this is how we’re gonna fix these criminals. We’re being told things that just simply aren’t true. There is not one bit of statistical evidence that says law abiding citizens have concealed weapons. Permits that are issued by law enforcement commit crimes. Not,

Sevan Matossian (26:32):

Not one. Wow. Not, not one, not one. I wonder if that’s true. You guys believe him? Not one. Not one. Not one. I don’t know. What the fuck is this? My, my notes are all jacked up. Oh, here we go. Oh, you guys are gonna love this. You guys are gonna absolutely love this. I’m just gonna sit over here and lube up and grab my ankles. I’m ready to fight with anyone who wants to brawl over this bullshit. You wanna fight? I’m ready to fight anyone who wants to fight. Let’s do it. This is a lady putting her cart up on the curb. Here we go. Action.

Speaker 9 (27:21):

Oh, the curbing right in front of the car. Knocks too. That’s too bad. Isaiah car.

Sevan Matossian (27:25):

This guy said I’m a cart arc car.

Speaker 9 (27:27):

Return right over there if you want it. Pardon? You. Is a cart return right over. You wanna take it over? No. No. That’s your cart, not mine. Now who are you? Oh, I’m Agent Sebastian with the cart. Narks, like it says on my chest in a bold, powerful letters. Just spend $300. Oh, what’d you buy? Groceries. Okay. So then do you think you get to make it harder for the next person to park? Oh, here, come the, here come the, okay, let’s bring them on. You know what, you’re a fucking asshole. I’m a nice guy. I’m helping out the community. Actually, I have one knee. You are? I want your card. Oh, okay. I got one for you. But yeah. So did you have one knee when you walked into the store too? Or did it? Yes, I did. You lose it on the way in? That’s me.

Sevan Matossian (28:02):

She said, I want your card. <laugh>.

Speaker 9 (28:07):

I’m a nice guy actually, sir, I’m good. I I watch your stuff all the time. Thank you, sir. Work here. And I’m actually doing carts right now. Oh, well you are one of the heroes. How about a sticker? How about that? Yeah. Take a picture of you. Yeah, definitely, definitely, definitely. Oh, the curbing right in front of the carts too. God,

Sevan Matossian (28:22):

I, I don’t know why, but I’m also disgusted by a plastic. I’m disgusted by a plastic cart. I don’t like a plastic cart like that. I don’t know if that’s real or not, but even the cart guy, did you guys see that? Even the cart guy’s getting in on it. The cart guy’s like, uh, he’s like, thank you. I love your work. He’s like, shut the fuck up, dude. He’s fucking that. This, this la This guy’s trying to take your job away. It’s fine. You can put, that’s a perfectly acceptable place to put your cart.


Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Uh, what’s the big deal with carts? No one asks you to clean up after yourself at the restaurant. Yeah. If you can put your cart away. Put your cart away. Matt Burns. Okay, dickhead. All righty. You settled down. Se would call the cops on her. Oh God. My reputation. I need to clean. My reputation sucks. Oh shit. Even the great Heidi wants to battle me. Yes, Heidi. Yes. It’s perfectly okay to put your cart right there. It’s perfectly, it’s fine, man. I have some habits that you guys would find despicable. You’re making, you’re making me want to flip my cart upside down. Just in the middle, middle of the fucking parking lot. Now listen, I got three little boys in the fucking car. I’m not walking, uh, 200 feet away from them to put away the fucking cart when there’s a guy who makes his living doing that. I wanna hear your shit. Tell me what to do with my cart.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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