#888 – Live Call In | Give Me A Chance

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

I really don’t like doing the rumble thing. Bam. We’re live. I gotta, I gotta set that rumble show up every morning. It’s, it’d be cool. The music always too. Always have wonder. That loop. It’s, it’s, it’s making me not like Streamy yard. I’m, I’ve been spoiled. I’m, I’m getting, I’m like spoiled. It’s not enough that I can stream all over the world from my front desk. It’s weird. Uh, there was a, there was a, uh, as they like to say, a glitch in the Matrix this morning. I started coming to the computer and I’m like, oh my God, I don’t have my coffee. And, and I, what’s interesting is I woke up this morning thinking, what if I didn’t drink coffee this morning?

Mattew Souza (00:48):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Sevan Matossian (00:51):

And then I hit a race on that thought. Okay. My mon for some reason, now my monitors are all jacked up. How does that happen? What happens at night? Is there an update? There was an update right, a couple days ago.

Mattew Souza (01:04):

Uhhuh. <affirmative>. Yep.

Sevan Matossian (01:06):

Okay. Let’s see. Uh, oh and every, oh man. How do you move monitors around? I’m in my settings. Oh, displays. Everything’s kind of different now. A range. Okay, here we go. Um, like that. Is that, can you still see me? Uhhuh?

Mattew Souza (01:28):

I didn’t hear you. Oh, I glitch, but you’re good. We’re here.

Sevan Matossian (01:31):

Oh, good. Yeah. Done. Was there a glitch?

Mattew Souza (01:33):

Yeah, it was a little, little jump. Little something.

Sevan Matossian (01:35):

Okay. Oh, yeah. Very. You

Mattew Souza (01:37):

Go. Oh, happened again.

Sevan Matossian (01:38):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Here I am. Hi everyone. Good morning. Let’s go. Boys, draw your dagger. Of course. Ndu from Africa. Hello. Kenneth Deap, A corn. Julio David Weed, Whitney Davis. Adam Blakesley. Kenneth Deap. Ken Walters, the Armenian j Hardell. Christine Young, only person shorter in the group than me. Patrick Anderson. Mr. Philip Kelly. Juice to the gills. Sarah Cooper jetro Father of the Year. Shit. Uh, and the list goes on and on Our, our token Chinese woman. Judy, great to see you. Uh, wow. Full house today. Uh, 49ers, uh, predicted to finish last <laugh>. Good. Fuck those guys. And there she is. The lovely and always present. Miss Olivia. Oh, Bob. Jerome in the house. Holy shit. Updates are so, uh, geeks have something to do that will piss you off, man. Oh, man. Uh, of all of you that I saw, Bob triggers me the most, have the most visceral, like, physical reaction when I see Bob’s name. Isn’t that weird? I don’t, I’m not even sure why. I like, uh, like I’m almost defensive seeing him in the, um, I, I immediately get defensive him in the, uh, chat. I need to get over that. Thank you, Bob, for the opportunity to, uh, exercise my demons. Wow. What is this? This a Jew, a new Jew we have in the audience. Max Fink. Byner. That’s Yaka wearing shit. Morning. Good morning. Shalom. All right. Right here. <laugh>


The black. Do we have a black dude in here? I mean, Bob Jerome is a black dude’s name. I’m so cute. <laugh>. Uh, okay. I think we got everyone. Um, when, when, when? Uh, today. Today, after the show’s over, I will, hi Su Hi.

Mattew Souza (03:41):


Sevan Matossian (03:41):

Morning. Today, after the show’s over, I’ll take my son to, to his, um, tennis lessons, private lesson. And then when that lesson’s over, we’ll walk across the street to these like gourmet, this gourmet market and the gourmet market’s. Like, they’re just like overpriced markets, and they highlight crackers and shit. And they usually have like a place where you can get warm food that you can reach in and grab and, you know, then they’ve got sandwiches. They have like a kitchen there where you can watch people cookie shit that you’re buying, right? Like cookies. And it’s got mm-hmm. <affirmative>. It’s like a small market, but fancy mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And everything’s double the price anyway. So I’ll go in there. Yeah, that’s

Mattew Souza (04:13):


Sevan Matossian (04:13):

<laugh>. And I’ll go in there and, um, they will have, uh, and like all their ice cream in their, in their ice cream freezers, like, like, just like brands you’ve never heard of. Um, so, and too small and not sweet enough. It’s like a chocolate covered banana. You’re like, whoopee. So I’ll go, I’ll go in there and, and when I, when I go to the back, they have a burritos in the back and it’s hit or miss whether they’ll have the one that I want, which is, uh, bacon, egg, and cheese.

Mattew Souza (04:42):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. That’s good.

Sevan Matossian (04:44):

Right. But they’ll, they’ll have like, there’s always like some leftover one that’s just like beans and salsa <laugh> or like chicken or, or a Turkey. Chorizo. It’s like, who want, if you ever have chorizo, why would I want it to be Turkey <laugh>? And if they have the one I want, I, I, I, first of all, when I just see the, I see that container with the hot lights on it and all the burritos like wrapped in that like, fancy paper. I get excited mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I, I fucking get excited

Mattew Souza (05:14):


Sevan Matossian (05:16):

And that excitement is no different. Maybe even a little less than when I, for those of you who’ve never been homeless, there’s this thing that homeless people do. It’s called dumpster diving. It’s basically how you get your shit.

Mattew Souza (05:29):

And my grandpa not all homeless.

Sevan Matossian (05:31):

Oh, your, your grandfather dumpster diving. Yeah. There was a lot of noise all

Mattew Souza (05:34):

The time.

Sevan Matossian (05:34):

All the time. I would say 5% of the people who were dumpster diving. I started dumpster diving actually before I was homeless, just so I guess you’re kind of right.

Mattew Souza (05:40):

Got my first skateboard that way.

Sevan Matossian (05:41):

Yeah. Okay. You, you, you dove it yourself.

Mattew Souza (05:44):

Nope. Grandpa brought it over.

Sevan Matossian (05:46):

<laugh>. Oh, that’s cool. Wow.

Mattew Souza (05:47):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always.

Sevan Matossian (05:50):

And dumpster diving was, uh, it was exciting. It was like crazy, crazy, crazy exciting. And, um, and, and then eventually as you become better and better, you start to learn. Like usually there’s, there’s seasons to dumpster diving for like, uh, in college towns cuz people move out. But then also restaurants, there’s, there, it’s more like every day. So, you know, on Sunday, mor on Monday mornings, on, on Sunday and Monday mornings, um, there might not be burritos in the dumpster because all the drunk kids are going to the market to buy ’em. But during the week when they don’t sell all of them out, you know, Monday through Friday, you’re gonna get burritos. And I, I I I, the excitement that I would have going behind the Isla Vista market in, in Santa Barbara, and they’d ha and, and there’d be like 20 burritos back there on a, on a, on a Tuesday morning from all wrapped in plastic and styrofoam. I, it’s no different. It, it was actually better then. It was free. There were more choices. <laugh>. I had a package in my hand.


It was, I was just tripping that nothing has changed. Nothing, nothing. It’s, um, I’ve always been who I am. Nothing, nothing has, it’s just weird. Nothing has changed. And I used to dumpster dive closed. I would go to a free box and if I saw a pair of pants in there that actually fit me, <laugh>, it was crazy. The enjoyment that I would feel absolutely crazy. Yeah. It was nuts. I, I was just thinking this morning, there’s nothing, nothing changes it. The, it’s, um, it really is. Like they say, like, all those, like wise people say nothing, nothing changes. You are, you just are who you are. If you’re cool and happy and fun and enjoying life and excited and just prompt, it’s gonna be like that. If you’re not, it’s not, it’s just, it. Nothing is, um, I was thinking, I was, I was wondering for sure.


No one I know for sure, no one I know has been through the discrepancies or, or the broad range of life that I’ve lived. No, not, not no one’s even close. Meaning the poverty and the wealth. And, and I don’t mean like I passed through poverty. Like I lived in poverty. And I’m not saying I passed through wealth. Like I lived in wealth. Like that gap that I experienced, no one’s close. No one was sleeping in the park, freezing <laugh> the needle sticking out of ’em. And also has been in a G five to Hawaii

Mattew Souza (08:22):


Sevan Matossian (08:24):

Yeah. With the be with the best seat in the G five with my feet up. I should post a picture of that. Reading a newspaper. Oh no. Like a magazine special. Like a magazine. Gosh. Should’ve known <laugh> <laugh>. And if you don’t know what Leica is Yeah, that’s right. You don’t, you don’t, you don’t even know, you don’t even know what a Leica is. Yeah. I don’t, I don’t have enough over completely overpriced, ridiculous camera

Mattew Souza (08:46):


Sevan Matossian (08:48):

And nothing has changed. Nothing. Nothing. Um, nothing changed. Absolutely nothing. Have you seen, I I know you guys have all seen this video of this, um, of the high schools in 1962 in Los Angeles, and it shows all the boys and they wear different colored shorts based on their fitness and they’re all just training their asses off. Have you seen that shit? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. Everyone here has seen that, right? Made the rounds on Instagram. I I was watching that this morning, and it’s like, all those dudes in there are fitter than my kids and more capable than my kids. And my kids are fitter and more capable than any kids I know. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but all those dudes in there can do shit. I’m like, well, my kids can’t do that. Those were the normal kids back then. <laugh>. Well, oh, I understand. Trust me.


I, okay. I, uh, I will go easy on the like US Lander. I I know. I don’t mean it, it is truly a remarkable device. I agree. It’s just, uh, a Sony’s like a fucking, like carbon fiber disc you throw and you can throw like, you know, uh, if it’s like a, let’s say there was a specialty object you threw, and Sony would make that, it’d be carbon fiber, it would cut through the air and you could throw it 200 yards. A like, is like, just a great rock you found by the river that you can skip. You know what I mean? It’s still just a rock <laugh>. It’s like, so not, but it’s a special rock. But it’s just, there’s no, is it an expensive rock? Yeah. It’s just, it’s, they’re so primitive. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. They’re all, they’re always behind. They’re, it’s, they’re so fucking primitive. But it’s a beau. But it’s fun, beautiful camera.


Imagine working for a company that forced you to take drugs. Sorry. That’s, that’s not true. They can’t force you. Imagine working for a company that demanded you take drugs. Imagine you worked there for 15 years and they demanded you take drugs. Let me rephrase that. They demanded you like the 49ers and that you wear 49ers clothing. You wear 49ers clothing to work every single day. Imagine that. You just, you, you work at 7-Eleven and all of a sudden one day they’re like, Hey, you have to wear 49 er clothing every day from your shoes to your hat, your underwear, everything has to be 49 er clothing. And if you don’t, we’re gonna fire you. <laugh>. That’s not so bad. So what? So what? Right? But what if you found out some of that 49 er clothing when you would leave the store, some people were getting beat up cuz it was red and the Crips would see you in all red and they started killing you.

Mattew Souza (11:22):

That’s a bit of a

Sevan Matossian (11:22):

Problem. And one out of every thousand fucking seven-eleven owners every day was getting fucking, oh, there we go. <laugh>. It’s just the 49ers. Every Armenian loves the 49ers. I know. I love the 49ers too. I don’t even, I hate the N NFL and I love the 49ers. Um, uh, and imagine them one out of every, every day, every day. Somewhere, every day, somewhere, uh, seven-eleven owner, you or a seven-eleven employee, which you are, is getting killed because someone drives by It would be a Crip, right? They’re the blue ones. Yep. They drive by and see you’re in all red and they kill you. Hmm.

Mattew Souza (11:55):

Be a problem.

Sevan Matossian (11:57):

This story’s not even made up. This is like a real fucking story. This isn’t even made up. The the names have been changed to protect the innocent. That’s me.

Mattew Souza (12:08):


Sevan Matossian (12:09):

Look at 5 69. I, I cannot fucking believe that anyone buy, buys anything from Nike or Noble. It’s so sad. People. We like, how do you buy anything from a company that demands you do something that got people killed. Not forces, by the way, I’m choosing this word carefully. Demands, how do any of you wear their sh their shit? Throw that shit away. I don’t give a fuck. I’ll wear whatever I want.


How does anyone, do any of you actually follow Katherine David’s daughter? She fucking slandered me for what this company is like bragging about what they’re doing now. Nike. Uh, we’re look at, look at, look at this too. Uh, uh, yeah. Yeah. Look at, look what it says, the title. We’re finally talking. The fact that athletes menstruate too. First of all, why didn’t they use any pictures of athletes? I promise you none of those girls right there are athletes. <laugh>. I promise you. Not, not in any real sense. Not in any real sense. Hey dude, if you, if if you, I, I wouldn’t even say a kid. I wouldn’t even say a kid who runs track. I wouldn’t consider him an athlete until his senior year. And he’s done it freshman, sophomore, junior year up until then, he is just a kid who runs mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So the fuck, what? Like if you, if you don’t, if you don’t have a sub four 30 mile, you’re not even, I don’t, I I don’t think you’re running even constitutes you as an athlete. You just, you’re just a runner. You’re just a human who’s just doing his shit.

Mattew Souza (13:40):

So you don’t think every person who walks into a CrossFit gym as an athlete,

Sevan Matossian (13:43):

Fuck no

Mattew Souza (13:44):


Sevan Matossian (13:45):

Fuck no. I mean, and they’re, I’m okay with them thinking that <laugh>, but they’re not, not if athlete’s gonna be anything distinguished. Like you’re not an athlete until maybe, until you play varsity,

Mattew Souza (13:57):

Until you’re paid.

Sevan Matossian (13:59):

I mean, you just have to be able to do something that makes you, it has to be a little more than just like a mo a a a a a a motive. Like, like my kid can be is in the 1% of 1% of all eight year olds who play tennis.

Mattew Souza (14:15):

But he’s not an athlete.

Sevan Matossian (14:16):

Not, I mean, I could, I could still beat him and I suck

Mattew Souza (14:20):


Sevan Matossian (14:21):

Because I’m just, cuz I can just be every, because he takes him four steps across the court and only takes me three. Right. I mean, he’s just, it’s just not, if you’re a shot putter and you’re not in the Olympics, you’re not an athlete. I don’t think like the best collegiate shot putter should even be still considered an athlete. You’re still just a, you’re just a capable human. I and I’m proud of you and it’s cool. It’s cool as shit. Right. But you’re just, you’re just, you’re a wannabe athlete, which is fine too. I’m a wannabe athlete too. That’s what, that’s what, uh, um, that, that would be a better way to put, um, CrossFit gym people. And, and then, and then here’s the thing. Don’t worry. Don’t feel bad or offended. What does that say about everyone else who doesn’t go to a CrossFit gym? You’re a fucking slug and a disgrace as a human being, objectively speaking. Not even subjectively. Yeah. A person who’s proficient in sports and other forms of physical exercise. Yeah. And I just think that it’s, it’s, it’s pretty high. Good morning, Rosie. Hi. How are you? I don’t think I, when you go to film festivals, there’ll be these dudes out there who, like the majority of people will be like calling themselves directors, but they’ve never directed a film. Mm.


You’re like, wait, what, what, what, what do you do? I’m a director.

Mattew Souza (15:34):

I’m a lifestyle entrepreneur.

Sevan Matossian (15:36):


Mattew Souza (15:36):

I just don’t have the lifestyle. <laugh>.

Sevan Matossian (15:39):

Hey, even, even think of the word influencer. Imagine having a job that depends on other people for your existence like that heavily. Like you absolutely have nothing to offer unless there’s other people.

Mattew Souza (15:50):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and on other people’s platforms. Right. That’s the tough part.

Sevan Matossian (15:53):

I I’m not even gonna use the word influencer anymore. Basically. You’re a sellout. You’re a sellout. That’s what you are. I don’t mean that in any negative way.

Mattew Souza (16:03):

Yeah. How, how many companies quantify a sellout? Like, is it like five and then it’s like whatever, or is it just changing of the wind? Like Hillary’s definition of it?

Sevan Matossian (16:14):

The, of definition of what, what was Hillary’s day?

Mattew Souza (16:16):

Well, he just bared on a lot of the CrossFit athletes cuz he’s like, this is a problem. They’re trying to build trust within their audience. But this week it’s this mattress. Next week it’s next mattress. Oh

Sevan Matossian (16:24):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Complete sellout. Yeah. Complete sellouts.

Mattew Souza (16:27):

You’re just complete sell changing.

Sevan Matossian (16:29):

And, and, and I, and I wanna say that, that it’s not e I don’t even say it in a negative way, it’s just, I’m just trying to be more truthful, pointed to truth. Like, if you think it’s negative to be a cell that’s on you, but it’s, it’s, um, it’s, it, it’s just cra it it’s fucking nuts that anyone would support, uh, Nike or Noble to me. I I, I would be, I would be embarrassed to wear that stuff. I would be so embarrassed. Ni I would be so embarrassed.

Mattew Souza (16:58):

Hey, no. That at the, the 40 Niners in the, uh, hospital, they no longer have to wear helmets.

Sevan Matossian (17:04):

The what?

Mattew Souza (17:05):

The 49ers that go to the hospital don’t have to wear helmets.

Sevan Matossian (17:07):

Yes. Yes. I,

Mattew Souza (17:08):

Yes. You know that now. Yeah. Okay.

Sevan Matossian (17:10):

I had heard that. I had heard that.

Mattew Souza (17:11):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.

Sevan Matossian (17:12):

Yeah. Yeah. And Google, Google doesn’t require you to be a 49ers fan anymore either. Imagine that. Imagine they required you to be a 49ers fan. You got killed for wearing red since some Crips killed you. And, and, but now you don’t have to

Mattew Souza (17:27):

<laugh>. Yeah. Just go back. Wear whatever you want now.

Sevan Matossian (17:30):

Fair enough. Dick. I I I hear you. Uh, sorry boys. Uh, the mattress innovation is moving at the speed of light. Don’t be so judgmental. Fair enough. I

Mattew Souza (17:37):

The speed of science, Dick butter. Get it right. It’s moving at the speed of science.

Sevan Matossian (17:41):

Thank you. Thank you, Susan <laugh>. Nick, you won’t get away with sloppy talk here.

Mattew Souza (17:45):


Mattew Souza (17:47):

Can you hear that too loud? Um,

Sevan Matossian (17:49):

Uh, se no. Okay. Sounds like a jet flying. Uh, se please let me, uh, photograph you and your kids doing cool shit. Yeah, that’d be awesome. Um, is there a positive take on sellout? Um, um, yeah. I mean, yeah. I, I i I, I think maybe that there, there’s a little bit, let me think of one. <laugh> <laugh>, uh, Todd Meyers Savon. Uh, you see they released the nano twos. Everyone’s been telling me that. Yeah,

Mattew Souza (18:23):

I’ve heard. I haven’t. Have you seen ’em? Have you checked that

Sevan Matossian (18:25):

Out? No.

Mattew Souza (18:26):


Sevan Matossian (18:28):

I’m, I’m, I’m kind of throwing a bit of a temper tantrum. I feel like I’ve, I could sell them like an extra thousand pair, but they, they, uh, no, no one’s reached out to me, so fuck their nano twos. But, but if you, but if they are the same as the old ones, they’re the best shoe ever made. And they last forever. Like, you will have a pair, like you can wash ’em, you can do anything. You could beat the shit out of ’em. Oh man. I really don’t wanna blow ’em. I I have all those colors.

Mattew Souza (18:54):

Every color.

Sevan Matossian (18:54):

Yeah. Those last two on the right are gross though. I have this, it’s not a special shoe in terms of its Look at all. There’s nothing. Um, like they should really figure out a way me to make a dope camo one.

Mattew Souza (19:08):

Yeah. I’m surprised they just released these colors.

Sevan Matossian (19:11):

Mike McCaskey ordered five pairs for the family in me. Yeah. If you got y feet family, man, you’re bawling. But man Oh, uh, oh. This scares me. They are revamped a bit. That scares me.

Mattew Souza (19:26):

Mm. See that’s what you were talking about. You’re like,

Sevan Matossian (19:28):

No. Yeah, that scares me.

Mattew Souza (19:30):

And now we know it doesn’t work.

Sevan Matossian (19:31):

Yeah. There was talk when, when I, when, when I was working for CrossFit, we would talk to ’em. There was concerned that they were built too. Well,

Mattew Souza (19:39):

That didn’t last too long.

Sevan Matossian (19:42):

Should we just ruin a bunch of girls’ mornings right now?

Mattew Souza (19:47):


Sevan Matossian (19:48):

Just fucking ruin. Ruin your mo. If you’re a woman, this is gonna fuck you up. What I’m about to share with you, if this is true, I don’t know what the implications are of this. Uh, 5 67. This is going to, um, dude, Saladino has over a million followers on Instagram now. Whoa.

Mattew Souza (20:13):


Sevan Matossian (20:14):

Yeah. 1.2 million.

Mattew Souza (20:15):

Wow. A lubricant crisis. Did him well, huh?

Sevan Matossian (20:20):

Yeah. Brace yourself people. This one is, uh, I don’t, I’m really cur when my wife walked wakes up. I’m very curious how she’s gonna handle this.

Mattew Souza (20:29):


Sevan Matossian (20:29):

<affirmative>. This is if you have a pussy, if you have a vagina, like a re if you are a woman, like I like a, I guess even if you’re a fake woman, if you’re a dude. Well, it’s weird that he doesn’t know that women wear Lululemons without underwear. I mean, you knew. Did you know that Suza? Sorry, I don’t mean to project onto you. No.

Mattew Souza (20:48):

What? Say that again.

Sevan Matossian (20:49):

That women don’t wear underwear with Lululemons. Like it’s pretty common. Really? Yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> ask. You didn’t know that news

Mattew Souza (20:58):

To me?

Sevan Matossian (20:58):

No. Oh. Oh, ask Grace.

Mattew Souza (21:00):

I mean, she usually wears underwear with

Sevan Matossian (21:02):

Lululemons. She does. Uhhuh. <affirmative>. How do you know? Because

Mattew Souza (21:05):

I see her put

Sevan Matossian (21:06):

’em on. Oh, my wife. Har. I don’t think my wife wears underwear with them.

Mattew Souza (21:10):

I don’t wear underwear with my veri shorts. Cuz they got that liner.

Sevan Matossian (21:13):


Mattew Souza (21:15):

I hope they don’t have the same chemicals.

Sevan Matossian (21:17):

<laugh>. Look. Uh, uh, Rosie, I never wear undies. Oh shit. Here we go. Barbell spin. Dropping bumps. Uh, these pfas are everywhere. What is it? What is it? Pfa. Oh no. Here we go. All right. Brace yourself for impact. Hold onto to something. This shit’s dine. Brace yourself. Here we go.

Speaker 6 (21:33):

Alright guys. Lululemon. The heights at Lululemon and the sports bras and a number of other manufacturers contain significant levels of BPA and pfas per floral alkylated substances that can be absorbed through the skin. And there’s data on the concentrations of these chemicals forever. Chemicals like pfas in the crotch region of leggings from Lululemon. And I didn’t know this, but apparently a lot of women wear these leggings with no underwear. So you have forever chemicals in the fabrics coming into direct contact of skin that is highly absorbent. Men do not wear polyester underwear. And ladies know what’s in your leggings. Scary stuff. I wouldn’t wanna absorb these chemicals from leggings, from Lululemon and others or sports bras. All right guys.

Sevan Matossian (22:16):

Imagine having something pushed up against your vagina that’s bad for you. Have you ever heard that your eyeballs are the, are are really the inside of your brain that it’s exposed to the atmosphere?

Mattew Souza (22:30):


Sevan Matossian (22:31):

You haven’t heard that Uhuh. I heard that explanation recently. That basically it’s a sensory organ that’s attached to the brain that’s exposed that basically it’s, it’s kind of, it’s, it’s so unique because it’s, it’s, it’s just exposed. It’s like, it’s, um, I don’t know, but I, the vagina’s kind of the same way kind of <laugh>. I know. It’s just a, it’s something about it just means it’s like, it’s like, it’s like too exposed. <laugh> you, you, you know what I mean? Like, you shouldn’t push anything. Like, I, I feel like nothing should get close to it. Like, touching something against the vagina is like eating it. <laugh> it’s like putting it in your mouth. You know what I mean? Like the vagina’s like a mouth. So the way it’s like an opening like that <laugh>, you might as well have a tongue. Tongue. Tongue.

Mattew Souza (23:17):

My goodness. <laugh>. Tongue. Tongue.

Sevan Matossian (23:21):

You know what I mean? It’s like, um, it’s like, it’s like, it’s like you don’t touch the eyeball. Right? Right. Like, not no, like, like all the other parts of your body you touch every day. You don’t touch the, and if you do touch the eyeball, you wash your hands. Mm. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, if you wanna touch the eyeball, like, like, like I feel like just the vagina is a close second to that. Like, we, us dudes, we don’t really have anything like a we’ll grab our cock with greasy hands or something like,

Mattew Souza (23:49):

You know. Yeah. You can just slap it right on the table and tell you that is fine. Yeah. Yeah. It’s resilient.

Sevan Matossian (23:55):

Say look. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the skin in your mouth is the same as the skin in the vagina. Yeah. And, and I Yeah. All that. Yeah. Something. Anyway. Uh, but the comments are crazy too, in that thread. People are like, how dare you tell us this without a, um, uh, a substitute. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> can’t, you shouldn’t have put this out until you had a substitute. It’s like, sh really? You, you wanna wait until, until there’s a substitute before, you know? I don’t think the taint is the taints. The taints. Just the, the taints just might as well be the elbow.

Mattew Souza (24:26):

Yeah. Yeah. It’s like the cocking balls. It’s all packaged. It’s fine.

Sevan Matossian (24:30):

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It’s pack, it’s wrapped. Yes.

Mattew Souza (24:32):

Yeah, it’s wrapped. It’s sealed.

Sevan Matossian (24:36):

It’s like, like if you drop a box of crackers on the ground, it’s fine. All the crackers, there’s cardboard and then there’s the bag inside and then there’s crackers. Just, just imagine dragging a vagina a along like a, like on aisle seven. Yeah. The, the vagina’s kinda like a snail. You know how like the snail, the snail’s in a tough position. It’s got that wet thing that just touches the ground everywhere it goes. <laugh>. I wonder what that thing is called. It doesn’t even have, it’s not legs, right? It’s

Mattew Souza (25:03):

No, it’s like, I don’t know what it’s called.

Sevan Matossian (25:05):

And, and it’s porous because there’s always liquid coming out of it. Like the vagina. Yeah. The snail. And I betcha the snail in the vagina has like some sort of

Mattew Souza (25:13):

Same chemical properties,

Sevan Matossian (25:14):

Root rudimentary relationship. You know what I mean? They know, they’re like, the mushroom is a only, only has one less chromosome than the man. I betcha. Like the vagina only has like one less ch or one more chromosome than the bottom of the snail or something.

Mattew Souza (25:27):

It was a evolved from, Hey, you used to be a snail.

Sevan Matossian (25:30):

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The vagina’s like a taco. And the cock balls are like a burrito. There’s like, nothing’s falling out of the bri, but, but the vagina is like, yeah.

Mattew Souza (25:39):

Yeah. Throw it outside. Eat it around the back by the dumpster when it’s free and they don’t sell ’em fine.

Sevan Matossian (25:43):

You wouldn’t, yeah, you wouldn’t. Exactly. You need a napkin for sure. With the, probably with the taco <laugh>. You don’t, with the burrito

Mattew Souza (25:51):

<laugh>. It’s, it’s gonna get messy. <laugh>.

Sevan Matossian (25:53):

Yeah. It’s gonna get messy.

Mattew Souza (25:56):

You’re gonna have to wash your hands before and after.

Sevan Matossian (25:58):

I appreciate it. Who brought up the taco? That was Rosie. That’s good. I like

Mattew Souza (26:00):

It. Yeah. She’s been killing it.

Sevan Matossian (26:02):

It’s really good. Okay. Uh, Daniel Garrity back to the subject. Yeah. Pfas are going to be regulated at extremely low levels, in part because they reduce 49 er, uh, efficacy. Oh, interesting. Pfas are present. The 49ers throw less touchdowns. Interesting.

Mattew Souza (26:16):

What is a PFA to be with? Do you know? Are

Sevan Matossian (26:18):

You he, he said the word no. I don’t know. Look at, see, this is why, this is why Bob trips me on. I was intelligent before I tuned in. Yeah.

Mattew Souza (26:28):


Sevan Matossian (26:30):

We make the simple connections

Mattew Souza (26:33):


Sevan Matossian (26:34):

Anyway, I, I guess, uh, I guess wool and cotton are the way to go. I’ll, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll try to ruin one more thing. Um, one more thing for you guys. Uh

Mattew Souza (26:50):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>

Sevan Matossian (26:52):

5 66. This one’s gonna ruin some shit for you too. We need to, we need to, we need to, uh, per and poly flora alkaline substances.

Mattew Souza (27:03):

Yeah. It’s the P pfa stands for. I was just looking that up too.

Sevan Matossian (27:09):

Wow. Jeff Beko, is he in prison? So he has to listen to our show again. He’s back. It says two days in a row. Uh, so this is, I would not buy anything with this sticker on it. I I I’m gonna just leave it at this. I would not buy anything with this appeal sticker on it. A P E E L. And I would, um, I would look up what it is and try to figure out what it is before you buy anything. It’s, it’s being sprayed on avocados, uh, cucumbers, apples, lemons. And it’s supposedly just an all natural. There’s this, there’s this stuff when you, when you clone marijuana, it’s called Wilt spray. And basically you, you do a diagonal cut right below a node on the, on a marijuana plant’s branch or any branch of any plant. And then you dip that, um, node into some growth hormone. And then you spray the leaves with something called wilt spray. And what that wilt spray does is it keeps the moisture inside the leaves and inside the plant so that the plant has a fighting chance and will last longer while it develops new roots where you cut it. Does that make sense? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Well, this is something like that Wilt spray, but they spray it on avocados, apples, lemons and cucumbers and suppo. And it, and it keeps your fruit looking fresh longer.


No, thank you. Mm-hmm.

Mattew Souza (28:24):


Sevan Matossian (28:25):

No, thank you.

Mattew Souza (28:26):

They’re trying to do it as a, like, it’s a benefit to you. It’s not, it’s a benefit to them.

Sevan Matossian (28:31):

<laugh>. Uhuh. Yeah, exactly. Uh, Sevan says Wool and bull bully the same way. Yeah. Wool. Wool. Wool and fool and Pool. Oh, it’s, I don’t know. Was never good with those words. Yeah. That, say that again. Suza.

Mattew Souza (28:45):

They try to pitch it like it benefits you cause it’ll last long in your refrigerator, but they’re only doing it cuz it really benefits them.

Sevan Matossian (28:50):

Yeah. All the examples they give, I didn’t give a shit. Like, they, they show you like an ugly avocado. I’m like, like, can’t give a fuck.

Mattew Souza (28:57):

You mean it’s decomposing? Like it’s real

Sevan Matossian (29:00):

<laugh>. Yeah.

Mattew Souza (29:01):

Give me that plastic one that lasts for much longer than it really should.

Sevan Matossian (29:05):

Jay, they say you can’t wash it off. They’re, and they’re so proud of that.

Mattew Souza (29:10):


Sevan Matossian (29:12):

It’s, it’s a, um, man, it’s a shit show. It is a, this stuff is called Appeal. Uh, A P e E L. The sticker is a green and it looks like an apple. I would, not a billion dollar company outta Goleta, California. Yeah. I I, I I would not fuck with that stuff. Just try to. And what’s crazy is it’s sprayed on organic stuff everywhere. The a bummer. Such a bummer. Yeah. Well, uh, Jason Miller, apples last forever if you keep them in the fridge yet now they last, uh, two lifetimes. Yeah. <laugh>. Okay. Uh, yesterday, uh, Suza told you guys a story. This.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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