#885 – Live Call In | Never Have I Ever

Sevan Matossian (00:04):

Bam. We’re live.

Sevan Matossian (00:07):


Sevan Matossian (00:10):

Look, I sh I shaved the side of my head. Look, look. Just a little dabbling. Last night, the shaver came yesterday, and I was like, you know what? Maybe I’ll shave a little. Oops. Forgot to go to Rumble again. Already getting lazy. Oh, well, oh, well, and you spend less time, uh, looking for, uh, content for the show and more time tending to the duties.


Kenneth, good morning, David. Good morning. Mr. Uh, Artian, I forgive you for donating to, uh, Hiller’s, uh, podcast. Uh, good morning. Yes. Yes. I saw, I, I see, I saw, I see, I hear Jay Harle. The Armenian is here. Bam. Here to distract myself from figuring out my life. Completely understood. Uh, me too. That’s exactly why I’m here. A Holden, his cock, uh, I’m here Holden, his cock, uh, Holden, his cock used an emoji, uh, the other day that revealed his ethnicity. I always just go for the yellow guys. Yes. I judge you for going out of your way to find, uh, the emoji that fits your ethnicity. I think it’s weird, but, but I don’t know how I judge you if in a good way or bad way. It’s just, it’s just weird. Uh, okay. Uh, Jetro. Hello. I’ll be starting the cast in the sauna.


Fair enough. Uh, Manny, uh, good morning to you, too. Uh, Jesus Louise. Good morning, everyone. Yes. Um, have you ever seen a baby <laugh>? Uh, sorry. Uh, I interrupt myself. Sean Lenderman Savon. Do you think there’s anything to that nine 11 article I sent you yesterday? I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about. I just saw a spider drop from the ceiling onto my desk. Geez, Louise. Um, uh, thank you. I, I, I shaved the sides. I, I, I, I, I, I just a little bit going for the Dave Driscoll look, I shave the sides.


Yes. Uh, the clock. Ha. That’s good. His cock a a real surname. Yes. You’re just, you’re just hearing that one. That’s kind of cool. How about this one? You seen this guy a Barry? My cocker. All right. Straight to tea later. Uh, no. Don’t dunno what to do. No, I didn’t lose any weight. I’m just, I’m fucking huge. Listen, I’m a five foot five man who’s 175 pounds. I was actually thinking about that this morning. I could, I could probably make 1 35, no problem. I could probably get down to 1 35, like in a month safely. Oh, shit. I’m not, I’m not getting, I’m not losing any weight. I’m fucking a brick shit house right now. You wanna hear? You wanna hear you? Here’s the thing. I have two things I could show you. Uh, Savan wants his hair like, uh, Dr. Sean blow me. Trish, just blow me.


Okay. Hey, what if, uh, me and Trish, uh, fuck, what if I could get a pass from my wife and Trisha? I fucked. Uh, would you guys pay to see that? They’re gonna raise a little side cash. Side cash, uh, Savon was there really a moon landing? Oh, God. I, I, I want to say a hundred percent yes. But then I keep seeing this shit all over the place that’s like that, you know, that like tw tweaks with my, uh, perspective. You’d be gay. Fine. I’d be gay. I’ll take it. Um, Savon, can you pull her hair into a man? Uh, uh Oh, shit. I’ve gotten stuck in the comments. Se can you pull her hair into a man bun? Mine? Yeah. Mine’s, mine’s in a bun. Look it, I look like the guy in the fucking podcast thing. I’m gonna shave even more today, and I’ll probably, maybe I’ll do it live so I can get some pointers from you guys. But I’m gonna, I, I, I took the biggest, uh, block on the, um, on the shaver. I think it’s a six. I don’t know that for sure. Maybe it’s an eight guard. It’s called a guard. And I, and I shaved the, uh, beard and then, and then I took it, and I just went around the sides by my ear. Look, I’ll take my headphones off. Look, don’t look at my nose from the side, please.


And then I tied it up in the back. And you know what’s fucked is in, in the morning when my wife saw it, I told my wife I was gonna do it late last night. It was like 11 o’clock at night. And she’s like, um, she said, um, what’d she say? Um, what’d she say? Oh, she said this morning, she said, Hey, that looks better than I thought it was. I didn’t really appreciate that. Um, uh, Philip Kelly, I can’t even, uh, tell you did anything. I’m fucking driving down to Santa Cruz and shaving your shit. Oh, all right. So that’s aggressive. Uh, you look at least 10 years younger. Thank you. Okay, here we go. Yeah. Savon, barto. That’s, that’s funny. That’s what I thought Barry, too, when I was doing it. Wait till you see. Wait, wait till you see. It’s gonna be a trip. It would be cool if I, if I, yeah, I don’t want to get carried. Okay, listen, we could, there’s two things. There’s three things we could do. And you guys, but I, I shouldn’t tease you cuz we’re not really g you don’t really have a choice. But I’m gonna present it, like, give a choice. We could talk about Zach, uh, Lander and his, uh, silly, uh, video where he rehashed a bunch of stupid shit that’s not even that there’s no proof of. And then I get all wound up about that.


Or, uh, I could show you a lady giving birth on a sidewalk. I’m kind of ex, which is kind of where I’m at. I think that I, to be honest with you, that’s what I think we’re gonna do. Or I could show you, um, this new piece of gym equipment I got, dude, I, I got this a hundred foot rope from Rogue. I’m, I’m gonna do that. That’s what I’m gonna do. I’m so excited to tell you about this. I got this. Um, oh, do you wanna see this really quick just to kind of spice up the show? This, I haven’t closed this window yet. This is the chick, this is the porn star chick that was in the, um, horror movie. I’m gonna, I’m, you know what, I’m gonna DM her right now. What’s her name? Alexis. Uh, what would I say to her?


Um, I say, uh, where do I write? How do I message her? Oh, Alexis. Alexis. Maybe I can’t, maybe I can’t. Um, DM her. Oh, here we go. Alexis Adams. Let’s see. Uh, cer, uh, okay, next, which, uh, hi Alexis, I saw your movie pool party massacre, and I had drew on the podcast. I would love to have you as a guest. Hey, good. Hi, Alexis. Uh, I saw, I saw, I saw your Y O U R movie pool party massacre. And I had drew on the podcast. I would love to have you as a guest. Should, should I put pool party massacre in quotes?


Right? So that’s the, so, so, okay. I, I can, okay. What, what was I doing? Oh, the rope. Look at this rope. Wait till you see this rope. Let’s go to, um, good morning, Karin. Oh, I saw catching in there. Uh, let’s see. Um, okay, look at this rope here. Can you guys see this? She probably won’t see that. Yeah, I know. Oh shit. Put a comma beforehand. Oh, darn it. I wanted to look smart. Uh, Mr. Butter. Hi, Samantha. Hi. Oh, shut it. This is like watching my parents navigate the internet. Your dad navigated your mom’s pussy just fine. Samantha. Brandon waddle.


That’s it. I’m not saying anything else to you. I’m nothing nice to say. Okay. Wa watch this. Um, watch this video. I put this together. God, I’m so good. I put this together just like this. Probably took me like, including filming time. Took less than an hour, but I got this rope from Rogue. It was a hundred foot rope. I wanna say it’s like 200 bucks. God, this thing, I, I should have got this so long ago. I don’t know why. Uh, this thing is awesome. My fucking biceps were blown up after this workout blown up. And I got that injured bicep here on my left side. It didn’t even hurt. This was a crazy workout.

Speaker 3 (09:16):

Okay. See if, uh, king Kong’s not even this

Sevan Matossian (09:19):

Tall. And look at my kid just said this rope’s King. Kong’s not even this tall. Yeah. That’s how long the rope is. The rope is crazy. Kong’s

Speaker 3 (09:26):

Not this tall. Nope.

Sevan Matossian (09:28):

Yet what you do is you, you tie the sled to one end of the rope. It’s, you don’t even tie it. It’s got a, it’s got a loop that goes around where the weights would go, where you would stack the weights and you just slip it over there. And, and that’s huge too. Cause when I got the rope, I was like, oh, how am I gonna attach this to the sled? And I start panicking and, but there’s nothing to panic about. It just slips right over it. The, you gotta save the box. The rope comes in. Cuz that thing has to have a storage place cuz it’s a a hundred feet. Well, is unruly. You don’t understand how much a hundred feet of rope is. It’s unruly. Oh shit. No quotes around the movie. You don’t think I, I don’t know. Someone will think I know what I’m doing.


I think I’m smart. Have you had any connections with Bill and Katie? Uh, Katie came on during the Rogue. Um, Katie came on during the Rogue, when we covered Rogue. She came on at night. That was cool. And then I was oling Katie the other day, um, in that, uh, remember when she was in her bathing suit and she got into that bucket? Um, that was like in a, a street parking video or something. What video was that? Greg Richie video. Someone went to street parking and, and, um, and we, and, and they were filming it. And I, I was, it was on the State of the Union. And the best part of the video was the fact that Katie was in a bathing suit, gotten into a barrel. It was kind of cool. That was a great surprise. Other than that, I don’t really have any connection with him.


I mean, I, I’ll bug bill once in a while, like, text him, but nothing, it’s a three to one ratio. I’d say. You text him three times. You get one text back and he, and he texts back like, Dave, yes. No, Uhhuh, <affirmative>. I saw that. Or you know what I mean? It’s, um, bit limited. But I, I got one of their ropes. Now. You you can order anything from them. You want. Just go on their website Rogue, just go type in rogue fitness and then you can fuck man, that risk website’s scary actually. Okay. Uh, so here we go. So here’s the rogue,


Here’s another thing about, this is the only drawback about this rope. I dunno if it’s a drawback, but I think that rope is nylon and you cannot leave that rope outside because if you leave that rope outside, I think it will start splintering. And if it starts splintering, you won’t be able to do this exercise with it unless you wear gloves. I dunno if you, you guys have ever had known someone who’s had a nylon rope tied outside their house. Even even my ones that aren’t nylon that I leave outside all year. Sometimes I’ll get splinters in my hands from K It’s kind of crazy. And they’re painful, not right away. But the next day they’re a little painful. Like, almost like they’re a little infected. Cool. Right? Look at that with the iPhone cinematic mode three times to transition to

Speaker 4 (12:12):

I love Rogue.

Sevan Matossian (12:15):

Then I told Avi to say, I love Rogue. And then pan down to the


Look it right there. That’s what, see that’s where it goes. You just slipped the rope comes with that loop at the end and you just slip it on there. Dude, I amt and my ass this morning is crazy sore. I, cuz I stood, what I, basically what I did is I, uh, I put the kids on the rope, I put the kids on the sled and I push it a hundred feet with, with the all three kids on there. I push it a hundred feet with the kids on the sled and it, and it drags the rope out. And then I, and then I pull the rope back with the kids on there. And then they each take a turn doing it with no one on there. Which, which is crazy. They can barely do it. I have to basically help them a little bit.


And then it’s my turn again and my ass is sore. Am my stomach my core sore? And my biceps are jacked. Yeah. Artsy fartsy. I know you like that. It’s cool. Uh, great question. Uh, most poignant question of the day, uh, from Heidi k Crume. Why does the iPhone make ropes sexy somehow to mysteries? Yeah, man, shit, it was cool. And the neighbors drive by, they probably think I’m crazy. My neighbors probably think so differently than, um, you guys do. Oh yeah. Here we go. Austin Hartman. Thank you. It’s called an I not A Loop. Okay. Yeah. Uh, uh, Audrey, I need a sore ass. Uh, please. Someone, uh, DM Audrey, uh, asap.


Okay. Yeah. Uh, it looks a little, I I it stays outside and it’s rain for a month here. My, um, my sled stays outside. Uh, Trish, I think tying a rope to a sled is better than a rope climb. Well, I like to hear that. Um, because I’m not doing any rope climbs until this biceps better. Okay. Uh, little fact checking. And then we will go to the baby being born on the sidewalk. Brace yourself. Uh, this one, that video is not gonna be for, uh, a lot of people. King Kong is at least one quarter of the height of the Empire State Building. That’s not, dude, that’s not even, are you crazy?


This is not true. Which is 1,454 feet tall. So King Kong’s at least 363. That is not true. I’ll, I’ll pull up an image of King Kong on the Empire State Building and you’ll see how tiny King Kong is. King Kong Empire State Building. Wherever you pulled that, that’s totally incorrect. King Kong is just, sits on the, um, uh, top of the, uh, empire State Building. Okay. You ready? Here we go. Here we go. Now look at, uh, this one. Uh, you gotta look at this one up here, or, or, or this. Look at, look at, that’s just the top of the Empire State Building in the upper left hand corner. Look at this. See that? See, uh, let me see if I can show you. Find a good one. That’s not even the Empire State Building right there in that picture.


Anyway, king Kong’s just tiny. He’s just as top tall, I’d say. He is as tall as that top tower piece on the Empire State Building. Like the antenna that’s totally inaccurate information. Clock cutter. And we know that this podcast is about getting the truth. That’s, that’s inaccurate. I, I contest that. Okay. Uh, Austin Hartman, uh, how long is King Kong’s Don? Uh, Mike. Mike, uh, Mike the pool boy, please check his only fans. Now Clock must be referring to the new King Kong movie where he gets his ass kicked by Godzilla. They had to make King taller just to have somewhat of a chance. Fair enough. Uh, by the way, Mike, I saw, um, I saw Kelly Clarks having, uh, her fundraiser on May 6th, which blows cuz on May 6th I will be in Woodside, California home of Don Fall.


But I will not be going to Don’s house. I will be, um, going to a jujitsu tournament there where my kids will be fucking kicking ass and taking names. I told you I shaved the sides of my head last night at 11 o’clock. I’m gonna shave a little bit more today. Every day I’m gonna shave a little bit more until I got the full Dave Driscoll. Okay. Let the show begin. Ab being born on Sidewalk. God, it’s, we live in a fucking weird time right now. I, I own, I blame this all on, on basically four things. We could even start there. Do you wanna start there? Let’s go. Um, or do you wanna start with something that I know I’m gonna get in trouble for posting, but just it has to be posted here. Oh, I didn’t put the YouTube video on there. Oh, that sucks.


There’s an aisle of man documentary coming out in 2023. For those of you who don’t know what the aisle of man is. I, I don’t wanna say it’s the hardest sporting event in the, in the world because like that guy, that thing did the, that climber Holland or whatever, that guy who climbed, uh, half Dome with no ropes, like, there’s some crazy shit out there. And the UFC is crazy, but this shit Dial a man is up there. Man, this shit is crazy. And there’s a documentary coming out about it and I watched the preview last night. Here we go.

Speaker 5 (17:52):

Show me something more dangerous than the Island man Tee. And I’m telling you now there, from my opinion, that is one of the craziest things on this earth. What is that like working at? How em are you with all that?

Speaker 6 (18:05):

The Island Man Tee Tee is, is a race around the mountain. It’s, um, it’s 32 miles, 32 plus miles

Sevan Matossian (18:11):

That’s around the island. That, that uh, uh, Kringle chick lives on. Amy Kringle. These dudes race motorcycles around the island. They should basically shut the island down. Oh, Alex hon. Yeah, that shit that he did is absolutely nuts. Getting in the UFC is nuts. But this, this man, dude, the footage from here and the number of people that die, this, this thing is crazy.

Speaker 6 (18:37):

It’s done in, it’s done in about 17 minutes. Okay?

Sevan Matossian (18:41):

It’s, dude, they circled the island in 17 minutes. I think you have to be going 120 miles an hour to do that.

Speaker 6 (18:49):

It’s insane. It takes about five or six bikes to go by before you can see them. Do, do, do you understand what I’m saying? That the concept of that, you know, when they line up 86 riders, you know, every year on average three are gonna die. I

Sevan Matossian (19:03):

Three dudes die on average

Speaker 6 (19:08):

Knew I’d have to report their death. It became so emotional I had to stop doing it because people I knew started dying. You’d hear, uh, you know, EXUS died and I’m in the paddock and I I’m looking at his wife and his kids, his team, and I’m like, I know your husband’s dead. I know he is up there in pieces Mm. Up in that hill and you don’t know yet.

Sevan Matossian (19:27):

And I, and I’m in the paddock. What the fuck is a paddock? I bought my kid a padlock yesterday.

Speaker 6 (19:34):

Hated that. I thought fucking cheek of me knowing that

Speaker 5 (19:37):

You show me something more dangerous. That just how

Sevan Matossian (19:40):

Cheek of me knowing that I’m in the paddock and it’s so cheek of me knowing that, that the woman next to me, her husband has died. The kids are there, we’re in the paddock. I don’t know what a paddock is, but man, that movie that, that that’s, I, I’m excited for that documentary. You don’t know about the is man, you should just go on YouTube and just spend like 40 minutes. You’ll be happy. You, you know about it. Haha. In pieces. He’s up in those heels up there in pieces while, while you bought your kid a Nintendo Switch or an Xbox or a PlayStation. You bought your eight year old yesterday or your six year old because your kid’s been begging for it for a year and you bought it for ’em and now you’ve lost them forever.


You instead could have homeschooled your kids. Protected them from those, those heinous video games. Yeah. I’m on a huge tangent right now. Protected them from those heinous video games. And instead you could have bought your kid when I bought my kid yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I did yesterday? We were at the skate park. We were at the skate park and my kid looks at the fence and there’s one of these attached to the fence and my kid sees it. He goes, what is that? And he goes over to it and he starts spinning the dial. And I said, that son is a master lock combination locker lock. A 1514 D used in school lockers around the country.


My son’s like, wow, can I have one of these? I said, absolutely. And after we left the skate park, we went to Ace Hardware and I was disgusted to see that those are 9 99. 9 99. And we’re driving there and I told my mom, I’m like, look at this fucking ball or move. She goes, what? I’m like, other fucking parents have to buy their kids fucking Nintendo game systems and ruin their kids. My kids are so fucking guarded that I can buy ’em a lock that will keep ’em busy for the next three days. I went in there with, I thought it was gonna be two 50. My mom told me that they’re not cheap anymore. How does my mom know shit like that? She’s like 200. I’m like, stuck. I still think movies should cost $5. That’s how fucked up I am. I’m, I’m, I’m so out of touch sometimes.


Anyway, I go in there with my three boys. I allow him to pick out a lock. I pick out a red one for him. This douche picks out a blue one. I let him get the blue one and, uh, it, it contin it still to today. When I woke up, the lock was still tormenting him. He can only figure he’s six. He can only figure it out. One out of every like 10 tries. He’s like crying. It’s brought him complete misery. He said, son, I did not buy you this lock to add misery to your life. I bought you this lock to add happiness. He’s cried so much yesterday about not being able to do this lock. But when he does it, he’s so happy. Yes. Nintendo game systems and that and that’s, uh, yeah. My kids are so primitive, dude. They’re so naive and primitive. Like my mom knows stuff like that. My mom, I, my mom waited in the car. I went to, I went to Ace’s hardware. My mom waited in the car when I went in with my three boys. You know what that means? That means I had to pay for it, hate it. When my mom waits in the car, I had to pay for it. It sucked.


Okay. Heidi, uh, chimes in. Uh, you have to understand everyone who, if you don’t understand Heidi, Heidi is a, uh, the glass is half full, very positive, optimistic, uh, human being. I’d rather, uh, have my kids on a Nintendo than in pieces on the top of the aisle of man. There you go. Uh, so there we go. Uh, uh, where’s the number? Oh, the combo. Uh, I took a picture of it with my phone. The, the, it was written on the back and I took a picture. I thought for sure I saw him opening the package while I was, uh, driving and I panicked that he was gonna lose the number. So I took a picture of it. I’ll tell you guys the combo. It’s 19 32, 9. I still remember it.


And, and, and it’s, uh, for a six year old, it’s kind of challenging. He remembers the numbers, but like sometimes his hands aren’t doing what his brain tells it to do. Anyway, that’s the, what were we talking about before I spun off on that? Oh, the aisle of man. Yeah. There’s a great preview. If you type in aisle of man, uh, there’s a great preview. I highly recommend. It’s only two minutes and 20 seconds of your life. I mean, if you motorcycles are, are awesome. The sounds they make. I’m screwed for pants. I’m really screwed. I’m really screwed. I have serious, serious, serious, serious pant issues right now. Okay, fine. Another tangent. Let’s do it. Here we go. Another tangent. You wanna see why? Here we go. Uh, so I probably should not share this. This is probably a huge mistake. Um, the, I’m gonna show you the pants I buy my boys.


Uh, I don’t know if this is even what you’re asking, but, um, your orders, I probably shouldn’t show you all of those. I type in pants here. This is a huge step back, I’m sure in, in my reputation what I’m about to show you. These are the pants I buy my boys and they go through them like no other, the children’s Place Girls Leggings five pack. Right here. Here they are. And I, and, and, and, and the, the, my smallest boys are a large, and I buy a pack of these. I probably have, the most I’ve ever had is like 30 or 40 pair of these. Avi wears the extra large. Avi’s actually kind of graduated out of these. He figured out that he, uh, I put ’em in girls’ pants. So he is kind of, so he has some other pants now too. And, and dude, these are currently unavailable and they’ve been unavailable for a while. And so my kids are running outta pants. It’s like they probably only have like 15 pairs of pants between the two of ’em. And I changed their pants three times a day. They’re, and there’s twins. So that’s times two. It’s like every day, every two days they run outta pants, call her high


And they’ll tear through these pants. They’ll tear through these pants, they’ll put these pants on and slide down the cement at the skate park and fucking just tear the ass right out of these things. Hello? Hi. Sorry. Hi. What’s up? Bloke

Speaker 7 (26:46):

Was uh, what?

Sevan Matossian (26:48):


Speaker 7 (26:50):

<laugh>. Um, I’m a little bit behind, so not off.

Sevan Matossian (26:58):

Oh yes, yes. You sound, are you from the of man?

Speaker 7 (27:02):

No, the between Ireland and England and the Sea. Ok. Um, so I’m, I’m from of Ireland, so second area Northwest. I’m doing this side of the road to protection on a few experience bikes flying past you. It’s, it’s insane. Really is

Sevan Matossian (27:32):

One of the documentaries I saw about the Is Man, the SPECT showed spectators dying on a regular basis.

Speaker 7 (27:40):

The Northwest my area had 19. Um, there’s a family, there’s a family, uh, from my, um, there’s the Dun family. Um, there’s a, one of the guys famous documentary Kings and Brother Robert were, um, racers. Uh, Joey died in the crash. Couple years later, his brother Robert died in the crash. And then a years of their sons in crash racing really, really explain why people would continue to do it, but they just feel, uh, incredibly drawn to it. They just get something outta it.

Sevan Matossian (28:37):

Yeah. It’s not like they lost a daughter. It’s not like they lost a daughter. They lost a son.

Speaker 7 (28:43):

Yeah. So,

Sevan Matossian (28:46):

Um, time to stop

Speaker 7 (28:47):

Probably trailers and stuff. Trailers relaxing the roads and stuff in actually if you look up northwest onboard camera, so a GoPro onto bikes and that’ll, that’ll really give you a sense of, and they’re just little small company road, just, it’s mind boggling that they can react too quickly. And like some of the speed wobble they, and the speed they get up when they’re right. Somebody wind or whatever they call it. I wouldn’t any of my anywhere were near motorbike. Um, but it’s pretty cool to watch.

Sevan Matossian (29:33):

Uh, lemme ask you this, uh, uh, do you, what, what is your accent? So someone, Mike is guessing it’s a mix between Scottish and English.

Speaker 7 (29:41):

That’s interesting. So I’m, I’m in Ireland. Um, Ireland kinda explain two separate companies South. We, we had, we Hader Joe over here last week. I’m sorry, was a.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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