Sevan Matossian (00:00):
Hey,
Brian Chontosh (00:02):
Can you hear me?
Sevan Matossian (00:03):
Bam. We’re live. Yeah. Good morning.
Brian Chontosh (00:05):
Good morning, man. How are you?
Sevan Matossian (00:06):
I’m awesome. I think maybe yesterday was one of the best night’s sleep I’ve had, and well, for sure. As far back as I could remember.
Brian Chontosh (00:14):
Huh. Lemme try to see. How do you get your, your voice in my headphones instead of, uh, across the computer. Do you know?
Sevan Matossian (00:21):
Um, there’ll be something down there in settings, like a, a, a Do you see a gear?
Brian Chontosh (00:26):
Oh, yeah, yeah. There it
Sevan Matossian (00:27):
Is. And then, then there’ll be an audio button, and then there’ll be a dropdown menu for speaker.
Brian Chontosh (00:34):
Got you. Now you’re in my, now you’re in my head.
Sevan Matossian (00:37):
Ah, nice. How about, how about, um, the, the mic Is, the mic is the right mic chosen too? There’s an option for that too. Yeah. I think I heard you when you touched it just now with your hand. I think I heard it. Good.
Brian Chontosh (00:47):
Yeah. Perfect. Thanks, Juan.
Sevan Matossian (00:48):
Will you just turn that so it’s a little, so it’s, uh, click just a little closer and then can you bring it in front of your lips? Mi Yeah. Oh,
Brian Chontosh (00:56):
Like that?
Sevan Matossian (00:57):
Yeah. Even better.
Brian Chontosh (00:58):
Yeah. Wait, I put a chew in then it’s gonna get really exciting.
Sevan Matossian (01:01):
I’m, I’m, I’m yum.
Brian Chontosh (01:03):
How you been, man? How’s, how’s the family
Sevan Matossian (01:05):
Dude? So good.
Brian Chontosh (01:06):
What’s the coolest thing that, uh, them kids of years have done in
Sevan Matossian (01:11):
The last, as soon as four hours? As soon as I just picture aie flying through the air on a skateboard. <laugh>, right. <laugh>. Soon as you said, what’s the coolest, I just saw kids skateboard. You know what was cool? I have these, my, my boys are really nice boys. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and when, and they do a lot of martial arts almost seven days a week. A different kind of shit. Right. Uh, jiujitsu striking kickboxing. And I always feel like that they’re nice to the other kids. So they let, if they’re doing striking, they let the other kid totally decide, um, the intensity, if they’re rolling, you know, they don’t just go, if they, if they mount a kid, they let the kid, you know, practice, um, doing a sweep and rolling over and getting on top of them. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, they’re not just like, they’re just, they’re not there to win. And
Brian Chontosh (01:53):
That’s, that’s beautiful.
Sevan Matossian (01:55):
Oh, it’s so fucking cool. I love it. But the other day, a lady said, uh, Hey, my six year olds, who to me are just complete goofballs. Right. You know, part gumby, part fucking unicorn. Like, I, I even, uh, you know, I’m the dad and I wanna see more, um, rock throwing and bow and air shoot shooting. And to me, there’s a little bit of my little pony in ’em. I’m like, you goofballs. You know what I mean? But I let, I let it be, you know what I mean? They’re just goofballs. And this lady goes, you know, I think she has a pretty tough son. She goes, it’s, it’s a little scary, um, having my kids in a class with your kids. Really? And I, and I took a little pride in that. I was like, yeah, it should be a little scary. They’re fucking lethal. <laugh>. You know what I mean? <laugh>, they’ve been doing this shit for three years, seven days a week. But I’d never even imagined that. Cuz to me, they’re just fucking, they’re like slinkies. You know what I mean? Just like, just all over kind of.
Brian Chontosh (02:50):
That’s cool.
Sevan Matossian (02:50):
But yeah, I like, I like that compliment.
Brian Chontosh (02:53):
It’s a good compliment.
Sevan Matossian (02:54):
It’s so scary. Yeah. It’s a little scary. Yeah. When you were on the show, uh, last, by the way, thanks for doing this again.
Brian Chontosh (03:01):
Yeah. I’m excited. We’ve had this scheduled for, since I think we scheduled it the day after we got off, or maybe the same day we got off the last one. Right.
Sevan Matossian (03:07):
Yeah. It’s a lot of time for a, a cool dude like you to give me. I know. It’s a lot of time.
Brian Chontosh (03:12):
I appreciate the compliment. Um, it’s good to talk to you. It’s good to talk to you. It’s good to connect. Okay, good. The conversation, I’m fascinated with the conversation and hearing your perspective, and I, I enjoy it. So, um, no, I appreciate it.
Sevan Matossian (03:25):
Good. Thank you. Um, I, uh, in, in that show, I asked you when we talked, it was kind of, uh, um, I was describing it yesterday on the show. I said I wanted to talk to him about his, um, his boning adventure, rolling across the Atlantic. But really it felt, um, as I started talking to you, it felt more important to just get to know each other again. It’d been probably a couple years since you and I had sat down and talked. So it was mm-hmm. <affirmative> it felt bad. Good. Just talking to you. And then one of the things I asked you in that conversation was, Hey, do you prefer to be called Brian or Tosh? And you said, uh, something along the lines, I’m paraphrasing, doesn’t matter, but I, you know, I I like Tosh. And he said, bud, I have a, you know, Dan, Dan. Oh, you said Taco still calls me Brian. Yeah. And I was like, wow, I haven’t heard that name in like 10 years. I just ran into that dude once while filming it, a CrossFit gym in Seattle. And I just knew that he was some badass seal
Brian Chontosh (04:15):
Solid dude.
Sevan Matossian (04:16):
Yeah. And, and I met his family and they were so good to me. Right. I, I think I was filming at their gym and just, just really hospitable, uh, loving people. And then, and then to see, and then to see that he passed in between our last conversations, I was just like, holy cow. What a, yeah, what a crazy thing.
Brian Chontosh (04:34):
I got a, uh, I got a text message early in the morning on the 24th saying Dan had a heart attack and he’s passed. And I was just like, holy shit. And then I started getting notes and had a phone call with one of the guys that was with him when it happened. And it just, uh, man, it hit pretty hard. Too young.
Sevan Matossian (04:52):
He’s a, uh, too young. Too young.
Brian Chontosh (04:54):
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he’s had some health condi, health, health scares in the past, you know, and lived a hard life. Um, but man, you wanna talk about a, a, a magnanimous individual full of he, which is crazy to see his shift because he was angry like Taco, it’s almost like, I don’t even wanna call him Taco anymore. I call him Dan Uhhuh <affirmative>, uh, cuz Taco was mean and angry and violent and
Sevan Matossian (05:16):
Oh, interesting.
Brian Chontosh (05:17):
And, and a, and a badass. And then he went and got some treatments and some therapies and, and, and all of that, and counselings. And, uh, he did a, he did a, a thing, I think it was an ayahuasca or an IBU gain adventure, and came back and like a hundred percent different dude. Like, he wasn’t swearing, he wasn’t drinking, he was full of love and beauty, and he was just as lethal. And, um, man, it reminds me of something, uh, that Jordan Peterson had said. But anyways, um, he was just an amazing, amazing dude. And, uh, just beautiful, full of kindness, full of generosity. He didn’t cross him. Um, yeah. It just, it just hit pretty hard, man. I know it rocked the world and, uh, the family, you know. But, uh, you know, the SEAL community is, is very blessed with an incredible support structure network.
(06:11):
You know, the Navy Seal Foundation and, and that group of individuals, I mean, you hang out with Dave, you know, you have an idea. And so his family’s gonna be really well taken care of. And, you know, Dan was, was pretty successful in the business world, you know, outside of, um, his military career. So, you know, you think about the family, you know, it hurts me. It me, it hurts cuz I lost a friend. And, uh, but like then now my concern is about the family and making sure that they’re okay. And he’s got, uh, three wonderful children, and his daughter is in the Cirque Dule,
Sevan Matossian (06:43):
No shit. Mm-hmm.
Brian Chontosh (06:44):
<affirmative>,
Sevan Matossian (06:45):
Uh, on, on the, uh, production side, but, or on the, like, uh, juggling unicycle riding flip side.
Brian Chontosh (06:51):
Yeah. She’s, she’s playing, she’s, she’s acrobatic. It was a dream when she was young, and her dad was like, taco was like, you know what, if you dream it, I’m gonna make it happen, baby girl. And he just, she was doing the trapeze work and all, I mean, years and years of just, and he just made it possible. Everybody laughed and ju uh, you know, strict slay. And she was just in Dubai, um, at a show. And she’s, she’s on the show circuit now. And it’s just so cool to see that relationship, uh, a father, a mother, a a parent, parental figures with their children. It’s like, Hey, you know, if you dream it, I’m gonna help you work for it. And we’re not gonna do the poo poo. Like, I, I, I think that’s one of the things that’s really cool about the way that you work with your children. You know, it’s just like, uh, hey, like, let’s explore, let’s explore, let’s not follow some traditional model that the world is gonna tell me that my children have to do. And just encourage exploration, um, development of self-identity and, and just give it some guidance and just play. Life is just play. Yeah. There’s work in there. You gotta do some work. But man, if just play, I don’t know
Sevan Matossian (07:56):
If, if if someone, um, I just, if if I were to die, I would not want anyone to spend one bit of energy on me. If you’re gonna, if if I die and you need to spend energy anywhere, if you have some energy you need to give, give it to my family. You know what I mean? Yeah. Don’t donate a fucking scent to my tombstone. Send my kid a fucking bag of oranges. Yeah. Do, do you know what I mean? Like
Brian Chontosh (08:22):
The fireplace. Throw me in the fireplace with the campfire and throw a party and, and then just make sure that my sons, my daughters, my wife.
Sevan Matossian (08:27):
And that’s all probably Taco cares about too.
Brian Chontosh (08:30):
It is.
Sevan Matossian (08:30):
Right. It’s, he probably, like, he didn’t give a shit that he’s dead or alive, other than the fact of the impact it probably has on his, um, on his wife and his kids. Mm-hmm.
Brian Chontosh (08:38):
<affirmative>
Sevan Matossian (08:39):
Like no one’s. Yeah.
Brian Chontosh (08:41):
Yeah. I would suppose that,
Sevan Matossian (08:42):
Right. I the
Brian Chontosh (08:43):
Kind of guy he was. Yeah. He loved his family man. He loved his family, loved his, loved his close friends, his inner circle. He just, he just full of love, which was crazy, you know, when I first met Dan, uh, like, wow, this fucking guy, like, he eats fire, like man. And I didn’t even know him at the top of his heyday, I don’t think. And, uh, I was really blessed to be with him through this transition that he made, and just so impressed with the man that he is and was, and still is to me. I remember, I, uh, we were at a, I was working a gig for him out in Idaho and, uh, first
Sevan Matossian (09:19):
Night guard guarding a high profile target,
Brian Chontosh (09:21):
Or No, no. Doing a, doing. I was at Shaw’s shooting as an instructor for him. Oh.
Sevan Matossian (09:26):
But he did do that, right? Yeah.
Brian Chontosh (09:28):
Yeah, yeah. He did not a personal security. Um, helps. Yeah. Anyways, um, and I went, I wasn’t drinking, I had just stopped drinking. I was just kind of wrestling in my head, you know, I was going through some, you know, highs and lows. I was kind of in a low. And, uh, I started drinking with Houston and, and Repo and Kate, and next thing you know, it’s, they go to bed and Houston and I, and I mean, we drank till eight o’clock in the morning. I passed out. We went out shooting and doing, and I showed up fucking damn or drunk still, and for work, and he’s whatever. Just let it go. And I’m just waiting for the ass to, and, you know, and I’m embarrassed. He professionally embarrassed. And, uh, all he did was, uh, Hey, ta ride with me. We’ll go back to the for lunch.
(10:15):
We broke for lunch and we just pulled up onto a, a rise. And we just talked, man. And he’s like, Hey man, are you okay? I’m like, Dan, I’m so sorry as I shut the fuck up, Josh. Like, I don’t, I don’t care about that. Like, are you okay? Mm-hmm. Like, let’s, like, and man, I, we, we probably spent 45 minutes in that truck and I’m coming down, I’m coming to Tim Kenton, I’m coming to tears right now thinking about the conversation. I mean, it was, uh, that impactful for me. And, uh, I’m not gonna be all loud and say, oh, he saved my life. Like, that’s not it. But he, he affected positive change for me in a, in a moment when I was struggling. And to have a friend like that, to just be like, Hey dude, are you okay? It felt good.
Sevan Matossian (10:55):
Hey, that’s, I potent shit. There’s this thing, um, you learn, uh, really, uh, high level communication and, and dealing with people, uh, address the, and I work with disabled adults and this was a key to it. Address the person, not the behavior. And that’s why, that’s why couples can’t get along. They start, they start reading into stuff like your wife does or your husband does, and you can’t get along because you read into shit and you’re not addressing the person you’re reading, the behavior. It becomes about you instead of them. And he didn’t do that. He addressed the person, not the behavior.
Brian Chontosh (11:27):
I love that. I’m writing it down bud.
Sevan Matossian (11:29):
Right. He, he addresses you. He did. Like, he, that takes, um, that takes some, uh, hardcore selflessness addresses the person, not the behavior. Crazy.
Brian Chontosh (11:40):
Yeah. There’s a high level of emotional intelligence involved with
Sevan Matossian (11:44):
Yes. Yes. That’s the word I was looking for. Yes. Crazy high level. Yeah. You’re not getting sucked into their shit. You’re, you’re, you’re, um, there, uh, mother Teresa, you know, it’s, it’s attributed to her Be nice to people because they’re, uh, because you’re a nice person, not because they’re nice to you. And I feel the same way about being mean, be mean to someone. Not because you’re supposed to be mean. Be mean. Cuz you wanna be mean. Like, if you need to be mean to someone, be mean to ’em. But if you need to be nice to someone, be nice to ’em. But don’t fucking do it because they’re dictating the, they’re dictating the reason why you’re doing it. Hey, I’m nice to people cuz I’m just a nice person. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> be an asshole to me. I’m still nice. You can’t change me.
Brian Chontosh (12:22):
Yeah. And I think that’s, I mean this, the circular conversation back to that thing I was talking about with Jordan Peterson, and it’s like, yeah, hey, like, you know, you should, you should be capable of extreme violence and you should be very, very cautious of the individuals that look so gentle because they have their violence controlled. Right. You know, um, I’m paraphrasing how I, how I distorted it. And it’s like I, some of the baddest, baddest, toughest, hardest, coolest, um, most capable people that I know are kind, they’re gentle, they’re kind. Um, and they have the ability to flip this switch. And that’s what makes you respect them so much. Cuz you’re like, I know this person is in total control of himself. Total control of his emotions. Right. And we’re talking specifically like anger and violence and if he flips that switch, like you hold those people in awe. I think I do. Yeah. Yeah.
Sevan Matossian (13:19):
You know?
Brian Chontosh (13:19):
Yeah. Yeah. There was a, I came across, um, will Grimes sent me a a, a Instagram something something the other day, and it was, um, the actor who played Optimist Prime on Transformers. And I wrote it down,
Sevan Matossian (13:31):
Uh, what’s the guy’s name? Will Grim,
Brian Chontosh (13:33):
Uh, a buddy of mine, his, my buddy’s name is Will, uh, ohoh, but he sent me an Instagram thing, I need to pull it up right now. It’s the actor of who played Optimist Prime. And I wrote this quote down, I just can’t find my index card where I wrote it down. It’s on a green one right here.
Sevan Matossian (13:47):
There’s no hurry.
Brian Chontosh (13:48):
Green Index card. His name is Peter Collin.
Sevan Matossian (13:52):
Oh
Brian Chontosh (13:53):
Yeah. His brother was a captain in the Marine Corps, Vietnam, I think he was. And he was talking to him about whatever, whatever, um, Hey, you’re going to Hollywood to play a hero, whatever, you know. And he said, Hey, don’t play this, this bullshit hero that the macho thing, like, be strong enough to be gentle. Be a hero that’s be strong enough to be gentle. And I wrote that down yesterday and I’m like, it’s funny how the world works. Like we’re having this conversation outta the blue. We didn’t talk beforehand. And I’ve got all these notes and it’s all about one thing. It like, you came for Gods, or the Gods are just pushing energy to me right now to put me in check or something, you know, and just checking with my values and check in with Ho Live my life and amazing. Like, this thing with Taco, um, hit pretty hard for me. It’s right on the, it was the day before March 25th, which is the anniversary of, of the ambush in, in Rock. And I usually just spend the day by myself and then stick that,
Sevan Matossian (14:51):
What day was that? March 21st.
Brian Chontosh (14:53):
March 24th. Taco passed. And
Sevan Matossian (14:55):
Then about the ambush in, in Iraq. What was it was when?
Brian Chontosh (14:57):
25th. Yeah. Okay. And, uh, so normally I’m, it’s coming, you know, it’s coming. You start to feel it. And I just kind of do my own thing. Nicole was traveling, so it was home alone. And then, uh, get hit with Taco that the next day, the 25th. And it’s just like, oh man. So anyways, neither here nor there.
Sevan Matossian (15:15):
Why, why, why does, um, oh, um, that, that, that date, um, the ambush in, in och, how did that get stuck to an A date? How did that get stuck to like, like a, like a birthday? How did that, you know what I mean? Like, I don’t know what day I was married. Don’t, I don’t know too many days. I know what day I was born. I don’t know what day I was married. I don’t know what day. I barely can remember the day my kids were born. Right. Um, but that, but that ambush in Iraq for you got, I’m stuck to a number and then you said you can actually feel it. Do you know how, what the mechanism is in that?
Brian Chontosh (15:57):
No. Um, I’m sure there’s signals and triggers. Um, as it builds up and gets closer to it, it’s like you don’t, I don’t even know what day it is. Half the time, time, Monday, Friday, the
Sevan Matossian (16:06):
20. Right, exactly. I don’t picture you knowing except, oh shit, in three days I have a diesel days or Oh shit, I need to be on this program for rowing in order to be ready to row across the Atlantic.
Brian Chontosh (16:15):
Yeah. I mean, my calendar’s always on the computer because I have to pull it back up like, oh, when is that? What day is it? But Right. I just get this, so the 25th was the day of the ambush. And also coincidentally, Armon McCormick, who was in the ambush, he’s, um, the Godfather to my, my son. Um, he was with us through the, through the event. He was the driver of the vehicle. He, uh, his birthday’s the 25th as well.
Sevan Matossian (16:38):
It’s crazy. Whoa. Wow. Okay. So you got a lot of shit colliding.
Brian Chontosh (16:41):
Yeah. And um, you know, inevitably there’ll be an Instagram post that I’m tagged in, and then, because other people and historians, whatever, and then it, then it catches you. But just my body, like something, the power of the mind, I don’t know the soul, the conscience, the what it is, but um, you just start feeling it. It’s like, man, something’s off, something’s weird. Like let me fight it and
Sevan Matossian (17:04):
Stop. It’s tension. It’s tight, it’s tension. Mm-hmm.
Brian Chontosh (17:06):
<affirmative>. Yeah. Yeah. And then it just, it’s like, oh yeah, fucking the 25th is in three days, four days. And it’s like, oh shit man. Then, then once you have an awareness, you start feeding it or building it or believing in it. Sure. And sure. And I’ve decided that I just don’t, it’s been much more healthy for me, healthier for me, whatever the way to say it, uh, to accept it instead of to fight it and just, um, hey, I acknowledge it, I accept it, and then I control it. I can control in it and create the safe space around it, and then let it move through instead of trying to put walls up and spend energy on building the walls. Cause inevitably that shit’s stronger than the walls. Maybe, maybe the walls are strong enough this year, next year, but man, that energy is, is resilient and it will continue to chip away, chip away until the walls aren’t strong enough. Right. And so, uh, I’ve been much more successful in my self-management and regulation. When I acknowledge something, I accept it, and I let it move, move through. Um, control what you can control, you know, my environment.
Sevan Matossian (18:14):
That’s a crazy lesson there, uh, that you just said. So many people don’t realize it. They think, people think that their mind that created their problem can think them out of the problem. And instead now they have two problems. So I’ll give you a really mundane example. You ha I’m, I’ve been following these Frisbee golfers, and there’s a Frisbee golfers, every time he misses a shot, he says, oh, motherfucker. Or he says something out loud, or he goes, son of a bitch, or he has some, he, he actually says his his negative talk out loud, right? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And the commentator was like, yeah, he’s trying to work on that. He, he, he recognizes it and he’s trying to get rid of it. The problem is, if, if you start another story where you have self-talk and you talk shit, and now you have another self story that starts up that you’re trying to get rid of it, now you got two stories.
(18:56):
That’s not, the brain has to only does, it just tells stories and make shit. Or you can accept it and move through it. Yeah. And, and, and if you can’t accept it, you can. Uh, if you can’t accept the fact that you, you can’t accept it, then you have to accept the fact that you, that you can’t accept it. Yeah. And it’s just, just, it’s like looking into two TVs, right? Or the two mirrors and Yeah. You nailed it. You have at some point you can’t fight it anymore. There is, that’s not how it goes away. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, what, what if you need something to go away, right? Yeah. It’s, um, uh, thoughts aren’t like that. You’re not gonna nullify it with another thought.
Brian Chontosh (19:30):
Now you just have to learn to be able to process the thoughts in a, in a, in a productive way. That’s, um, so I just launched the Hard Way project that, uh, went live. And, um, that’s a, that’s the big, um, that’s a big underlying underpinning of, of what I’m trying to do with people to understand their mind. And I have this
Sevan Matossian (19:47):
The
Brian Chontosh (19:47):
Hard way, have my Yeah. The hard way project. Um, I have my theory on, or the way that I do it, it, it’s not a theory. It’s just, hey, this is what I believe. I think the mind has a mind of its own. And, um, it’s, it’s based off of Maslov’s hierarchy of needs and who we are at the, at the, at the, uh, genetic, uh, level, and our DNA and how we’re built. And it’s just, uh, this mind’s mind. It’s a creature. It’s an energy that talks to your mind and when the thoughts pop up in your head that you wrestle, um, that your mind’s kind of synthesizing, uh, what the mind’s mind is trying to convince it to do, which is in direct opposition generally to us as human beings, um, with ambition and goals and growth, you know? And so, um,
Sevan Matossian (20:36):
Can you gimme an example? What do you mean? Like, it’s making excuses for you not to do it? Like instead of working on like, spinning stories of fear, shit like that.
Brian Chontosh (20:43):
Yeah. You know, um, like say, you know, and I use, I use Working out, I’ll use working out as an, uh, as the place, as the arena to get the mind’s mind to talk and manifest in your mind, to convince you to do something. And then I teach the skills and techniques to be able to process that and understand. Cuz you’re never gonna be firsthand privy to the conversation between your mind’s mind and your mind. You just get the interpretation that your mind is giving you. So it’s like you’re doing something and you know, you get a little voice in the back of your head, oh, you don’t need to do that now. Like, save that for later. Oh, that’s not important. Or, oh, just take a break. Or, oh, have that, have that chocolate bar whate, whatever the case may be. Right? Or, ah, you know, take a break, stop doing your set. Let’s
Sevan Matossian (21:22):
At your phone, look at your phone, see who texts you. Yeah.
Brian Chontosh (21:25):
Anything, you know, what, and you know, your ambitions, your design is like, Hey, that’s not what’s best suited for what I want to achieve right now. Right? But there’s some other thing convincing me to seek safety or seek comfort, right? Um, to, to indulge convenience. And so we try to, we try to fight that. And then that allows you to have greater ownership, right? When I say you, your mind’s mind’s part of you, but you like what you have in your heart, your values, we talked about that a lot last. Um, I’m very, very value-oriented and, um, you know, your goals and your dreams, right? And so it gives you more ownership of those things so that you can trust yourself more. When, when facing challenge or when you are trying to achieve something, it’s like, Hey, you’re in the middle of a, your marathon.
(22:14):
It’s like, oh, I just wanna, I just wanna stop and sit down. My ankles are hurting, or whatever it is. And then next thing you know, you don’t finish in the time that you want, or you don’t qualify for the Boston Marathon, or you quit, and then four days later you’re sitting in your chair and you’re, you have regret or remorse or disappointment. And it’s like, yeah, because you let your mind’s mind convince you that safety, comfort, and convenience is, is the priority for you right now. And that’s in direct opposition of you pushing yourself to achieve. And so, um, it’s, it’s the, it’s the bedrock of mediocrity. And so that’s what we’re doing with that. And, um, I’m excited, man. But that’s all the stuff that we’re talking about, you know, that little voice in the back of your head, like, what is that? You know, a whole bunch of different people call it different things
Sevan Matossian (23:01):
And, and how to deal and how to deal with it.
Brian Chontosh (23:03):
Well, that’s the big thing, right? Like, first I want to create awareness that that’s what’s happening and under, right. And how I process the process, right. And then teach you some techniques to be able to, to wrestle with that a little bit, to head your bets against it and develop to not necessarily defeat it, but but win in the moment, right? And, um, it’s all about winning in the moment. Winning in the moment. Hey, you know what, I should, I, I really feel like having a beer and then going to bed and putting on a, on a show, but I really know, like I have to get up on my computer real fast and knock out these three emails. Oh, well, and the difference is, is you having a beer, going to bed and watching a show versus you doing what you know you wanna do. I
Sevan Matossian (23:42):
Thought you said going to bed and putting on a show. I was like, wow.
Brian Chontosh (23:44):
Oh yeah. We, we do that to
Sevan Matossian (23:46):
<laugh>.
Brian Chontosh (23:49):
Um, yeah. Anyway, I
Sevan Matossian (23:50):
Like what you said about becoming aware of it first too, because I think a lot of people aren’t aware of their own little devil, and so they’re reacting to it, right? They don’t even hear, um, go check your phone. They’re in the middle of a workout. Next thing you know, they are checking their phone. So I, the first thing is to become aware that like, hey, you, you had to have had a thought before you moved over and derailed your shit. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And you become aware of that.
Brian Chontosh (24:15):
And, and, and, and in this simple case, right? Like, it’s okay, I’m aware of it now. Well now I can pick a strategy to, to, to, to, to win against that happening. Leave your phone in the car really, really hard to, in the middle of a workout, go grab your keys, unlock your car, go to your car, get the phone. You know? And so we’re teaching little techniques that you can do and use. Um, and there’s the world is, I mean, we’re suffocated with everybody with their ideas. Um, half of ’em don’t work. They’re full of shit. I try to think of what, what actually works for me, what I actually do in practice, um, and share those things, you know, instead of it all just being bullshit that’s out there. Right. Right. It’s not that there’s not great stuff out there either. There is, but, you know, and, and another thing is why I don’t call it, you know, our own little devil is because I don’t think the mind’s mind is inherently evil either.
(25:02):
Okay. I think it’s, there’s a purpose and, um, there’s times when the mind’s mind is trying to convince you to do something and it’s like, Hey, but put, put the, what’s of import is you having a conscious and rational discussion with your mind and yourself instead of just blindly following that. There’ll be times when you just blindly follow. And those will be times of extreme circumstance. That’s fine. That’s when survival mechanisms kick in. But, um, for the most part, I don’t want you to think that the mind’s mind is evil. Um, it’s, it’s essential. It’s part of us. You need to accept it and it provides a little bit of balance, but you just don’t blindly follow it.
Sevan Matossian (25:41):
Right? Yeah. I don’t think I, well said, I don’t think there’s a reason to spin a story about it. Yeah. A narrative about it.
Brian Chontosh (25:47):
Yeah.
Sevan Matossian (25:48):
What, what, when you were, um, two years before you decided to row across the, it was two years before you jumped in the boat, right? You had this, somehow it came to you that you were gonna row across the Atlantic, and then there was a two year window before you got in the boat with your homies and started rowing. Is that right?
Brian Chontosh (26:03):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. That’s about right. Yep. Two, two and a half.
Sevan Matossian (26:06):
Did you, in those two years, did you, um, spin any tales, um, that you remember of why you can’t do it or why you’re not gonna do it?
Brian Chontosh (26:15):
Um, not
Sevan Matossian (26:16):
Really. At six months in like, like, Hey, I’m not gonna do this because you hear any of those startup?
Brian Chontosh (26:22):
No, no. None of those really popped up because I think I spent a lot of time on the front side deciding I want to do it. Like, Hey, I want to do this. Um, there was a function of need as well, or, or how I phrased it is like, Hey, I need to do this. I want to do this. Um, other tales that were spun was how well are we gonna do? Am I gonna break down? Am I gonna be the best teammate possible in, in those stories? But there was never a doubt that I wasn’t gonna do it, and there was never a doubt that I wasn’t gonna finish it.
Sevan Matossian (26:51):
And, um, and, and is, um, is that, do you do, is that, uh, is that all prep, is that like self manipulation? All of that? That, that talk I need to do it how you phrase stuff, how you, how you, how you talk to yourself. Is it like self manipulation or, or is that psychological prep?
Brian Chontosh (27:11):
Yeah, I think, I think it is. I don’t think it’s manipulation, um, in, in an ugly sense, right? No,
Sevan Matossian (27:15):
No, no. And I didn’t mean it like that.
Brian Chontosh (27:17):
Yeah. No, no, it’s okay. I, I think it is, um,
Sevan Matossian (27:19):
Like how you would stack wood before you lit the match to it to make sure that when it goes up, right. Manipulating preparation so that it, yeah. Okay. Preparation.
Brian Chontosh (27:27):
Yeah. Smart, smart prep, right? Psychological prep. Um, positive framing, positive psychology, growth mindset stuff. Um, that I, that’s what I mentor. So, um, I mentor what I actually use and do for myself.
Sevan Matossian (27:41):
And then, and then that brings us to, to it. Why, how, how did that happen? Why, why would you, um, there, there’s so many ways to cross the, um, Atlantic, it seems like such an unconventional, uh, thing to do. There would be so much other safer ways. Like, so you wanted to go on a run, you didn’t run up Mount Everest, you fucking ran in a comics box that seems safe. <laugh>, you know, why, why you have kids, you have a wife. Uh, it, it just doesn’t seem, um, like a sound idea to me to row across, uh, the Atlantic Ocean. There’s motors that could help you. There’s motors. Yeah, for
Brian Chontosh (28:19):
Sure. But then, you know, safety takes away the, um, the excitement and the opportunity for, for the adventure too, right? Like, if you’re constantly trying to
Sevan Matossian (28:27):
Do shade, it’s just so big. I, I wouldn’t even consider it. Ifs. I, it doesn’t even sev you’re gonna roll across the Atlantic. No, I’m not. Like, if there’s not even like a, if you were to be like, Hey, Sev, I’m gonna, oh, we’re gonna sleep. We’re gonna, you’re gonna come to my house in Colorado, we’re gonna build an igloo and we’re gonna sleep overnight in it, and it’s gonna be cool. I’m gonna teach you how to stay warm and you’re, we’re gonna do it naked. I’d be like, fuck, that’s crazy, Tosh. Okay, I’ll try that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. There’s, but, but, but I, I cannot row across the Atlantic. It’s not, it can’t even catch flame. It, it can’t, even for me, I, it doesn’t even, there’s nothing that, that you, I can’t even, I would start immediately probably walking away from you if I thought you were serious, even.
Brian Chontosh (29:06):
Yeah. I think, um,
Sevan Matossian (29:07):
I, I’m not doing that <laugh>. You know what? It’s too big. It’s too big. Why?
Brian Chontosh (29:12):
Why is it too big for you? Why is it too impossible to unsafe for you?
Sevan Matossian (29:17):
It, it’s just, it’s a, um, it for, for planet earth, for where we are, for what I know you’re gonna put yourself in, in the most lonely, intense, unknown situation, probably possible. I can’t think of anything mon more lonely or unknown than going out into the middle of, uh, this rock, one of this rock’s, oceans, I mean, we call them oceans, but all the water’s connected. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> going out into the, to the way, way unknown part, right? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And we’ve been to the fucking moon, but there’s parts of the ocean. We don’t even know what’s in the, our own fucking ocean. I know, right? That’s crazy. <laugh>. I know. It’s n it’s just nuts. And then to row it after so many men have, have, have worked.
The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.
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