#842 – CrossFit Quarterfinals Trolling the Leaderboard Day 1

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

You to think anything had changed? I’m completely unprepared. A normal

Brian Friend (00:02):

Day. Normal day,

Sevan Matossian (00:04):

Bam. We’re live. Mike Halpin. Hi, Jr. How old Brian friend Andrew Hiller. You don’t halpin, you don’t Actually, I’ve only done this three times. Sorry. You don’t say hi back. You just, it’s

Brian Friend (00:14):

Actually actually kinda funny. It was perfect. Oh

Sevan Matossian (00:16):

My God. <laugh> It was perfect. Okay, fine. It was perfect. Halpin, uh, Andrew Hiller, uh, JR Howell and, uh, the executive producer of the sev on podcast, uh, um, uh, um, uh, Matthew Suza and behind the scenes, always Mr. Beaver, Kayla,

Brian Friend (00:36):

Mr. Beaver,

Sevan Matossian (00:36):

The open. The open is, uh, done. The open is the, uh, first event, which, uh, helps CrossFit, uh, find the fittest human being on planet earth. No one argues that that is the fittest human being on planet Earth. It’s also an interesting event cuz it’s a community event for the thousands of gyms all over the globe on all, uh, seven continents with a single mission, ideally of helping people, um, making people’s, uh, DNA express itself in the greatest, finest, most beautiful, um, happiest, I guess now, um, way possible so that it can move large loads quickly. And uh, so we went through that, we went through that process and, and, and that’s supposed to be a, a, a tie between a community event, but also a very legitimate, serious event. I hear a fucking echo. Who is it? Who’s the very serious? It’s Halpin cuz he is only his third time a, a, a very serious event and yet a community event that bring, takes these three or 400,000 people.


And, and we take that 10%, or CrossFitting takes that 10% and moves them onto the next phase. And that phase is the quarterfinals. And that’s, uh, where we are at today. And the quarterfinals, uh, started, um, 20, uh, 6 27 hours ago yesterday at 12 noon, uh, Pacific Standard Time, 11:45 PM Pacific Standard Time to be, uh, exact, um, if I am not correct, I, if, if I am correct. So, so here we are. Um, it, it’s three days of workouts, five workouts total. Um, the first set of workouts were due today at 12:00 PM Pacific Standard time. And then the leaderboard was supposed to go up at one o’clock. Um, the workouts are 1, 2, 3, 4, and five. All the workouts have been released, but workouts one, and, and you can do the workouts in any order, but workouts one and two had to be submitted today at noon. Thank you, Brian. I appreciate the nodding cuz I’m just totally feeling around in the dark. I’m pretty impressed so far. Thank you. Pretty impressed. Uh, workouts one and two had to be, uh, posted today by 12 noon. Then workouts two and, uh, sorry, three and four by tomorrow at noon. And then finally Sunday at noon, workout five, the final workout. Although you could have done them all already, correct?

Brian Friend (02:45):


Sevan Matossian (02:46):

Could, could you submit all the scores already?

Brian Friend (02:48):

No, I don’t think so. I was told by somebody that they couldn’t submit score five. I didn’t see any options to submit scores for three, four, or five until about, you know, two hours ago or whatever.

Sevan Matossian (03:00):

Okay. So let me ask you this. If, if, if Caleb were to pull up the leaderboard right now, could we look and see who’s winning, uh, in North America?

Brian Friend (03:10):

Uh, well,

Sevan Matossian (03:11):

There’s two regions in North America. Could we pick one of those?

Brian Friend (03:13):

That depends. I think we should defer to Halpin on that. Okay. You don’t know anything you say, uh,

Sevan Matossian (03:19):

Look, because there are, just so you know, one more, one more small thing. There are seven regions. So, so that these, let’s say these 30,000 athletes, this 10% is now broken into seven regions. And then from those seven regions, um, three in totality, 300 people will move to the CrossFit games to the finals. Oh, no, that’s not true.

Brian Friend (03:38):


Sevan Matossian (03:39):

Total, I defer to Brian here. Tell me about the semi-finals, sorry. Jesus,

Brian Friend (03:42):

300 total men and 300 total women will go to seven different semi-finals. And then 40 of those will, each will advance to the games.

Sevan Matossian (03:52):

Okay. So of those 300 men and 300 women, those will be split over seven regions around the planet. Can we see those regions? Can I go to like North America, west, the Pasadena, um, semi-final and see who’s, who’s, uh, currently most likely to go there?

Brian Friend (04:09):

Yes and no.

Sevan Matossian (04:10):


Brian Friend (04:11):

I, I believe on the app, you can do it on the website. You cannot, I think that there is, supposedly there is some kind of a glitch on the backend with the website and that will be updated on the website at some point.

Sevan Matossian (04:25):

So, so what am I looking at there in that leaderboard? That’s just the whole world smushed into one.

Brian Friend (04:29):

Yes. And this is also a relevant leaderboard because it’s this leaderboard, I believe help and that will re award points for towards worldwide ranking.

Sevan Matossian (04:40):

Wow. Okay. Le just, just for shits and giggles here. Yes. Uh, apparently there’s a glitch on the online leaderboard. It’s not sorting by region. Have to use the app. Okay, thank you. Anne, let me ask you this. Can I look at these, um, this mall, O’Brien, Brook Wells, Emily Rolfe, Alexis RTIs, uh, sfi, those are all North America. How about this chick? Leah Storen,

Brian Friend (04:59):

19 year old girl, or 20 year old girl from Norway, uh, extremely proficient in gymnastics. Uh, strength will be a limiter for her. So I, she would, I would expect this ranking to drop drastically tomorrow. But there’s definitely some things that she’s amazing at and certainly we can see the first workout was one of those,

Sevan Matossian (05:18):

Uh, Ariel Lowen, Annika Greer, let me see, nine and 10. [inaudible] Uh, Danielle. Brandon. Okay, so only two Europeans and the rest North Americans are currently in the top 10.

Brian Friend (05:30):

Alright. Yeah, it’s a good mix of east and West.

Sevan Matossian (05:33):

Okay. Okay. Can I just see the men really

Brian Friend (05:36):

Quick there? There’s a decent amount of European women in the second 10

Sevan Matossian (05:39):

Though. Okay. And, and, and we’ll get back to that. I just wanna give a super big picture and see if I can get an understanding, understanding of the landscape here. Kind of feel it out, uh, in the men. And once again, uh, this isn’t broken by region. Uh, top 10, uh, Justin, uh, Maderas, uh, Scott Telo, Spencer Patrick, Patrick Vellner, Noah Olson, uh, Victor Hoffer, who’s this guy?

Brian Friend (06:01):

Yeah, we’ll talk about him.

Sevan Matossian (06:02):

Okay. Uh, but not American Frost.

Brian Friend (06:05):

I was the winner of the first workout though. And we have been talking about him. Actually, you’ll know his name eventually.

Sevan Matossian (06:10):

Uh, this Victor Hoffer. He’s the real deal.

Brian Friend (06:13):

Yeah. He wants to come on the show. I told you that earlier today.

Sevan Matossian (06:15):

Oh, okay. Uh, Colin, uh, boss, hard. Great, great. Last name. Uh, Enrique. Enrique Zoni. Uh, Cole Sager and, uh, Mr. Jeffrey Adler. Okay. So a ton of North Americans. Again,

Brian Friend (06:27):

Boss. Hard.

Sevan Matossian (06:28):

Yeah, boss. Hard <laugh>. That’s great. Okay. The, the workouts were announced. We haven’t talked about these workouts, right? These five workouts?

Brian Friend (06:41):

No, we have not.

Sevan Matossian (06:42):

Okay. So I would just like to, uh, go just very quickly. I’m sure we’ll end up doing a programming show, but, uh, hear from, uh, you guys, uh, Jr Any, any thoughts on the, on the five workouts? I have not looked at them. Sorry, just to slam you with this, but just big picture, uh, is, is, is are, is this a good, um, good quarter final?

JR Howell (07:03):

Well then, you know, they’ve only been out for like

Sevan Matossian (07:05):

You said. Okay, so lemme rephrase that. You don’t have to tell me if it’s good or bad. Gimme like your thoughts. Heavy on the gymnastics. Okay. Heavy weights, um, better for tall people. Just a, a kind of a broad sweeping, uh, editorial on it.

JR Howell (07:16):

All right. So you’ve got two, you might call ’em reciprocal workouts. Workouts, one in five that are highly dependent upon the last movement, that which is a gymnastics movement, the nine rope climbs and the 21 wall facing handstand pushups. So I would say that’s two workouts to the gymnastics bias. And then you’ve got two other workouts if and only if you’re very proficient at crossover single unders that are essentially just engine tests, basic capacity tests, the 20 minute am wrap of rowing and abdominal movements, and then dumbbell snatches, dumbbell lunges and crossovers. And then lastly, you have basically a strength test. So you’ve got a heavy barbell for 15 reps under some high power output, leg fatigue conditions. So I would say as an overall test, if and only if you’re proficient at ever at all of them, it’s very balanced. Two gymnastics, one lifting, two capacity.

Sevan Matossian (08:21):

Uh, when you say very proficient, meaning you’ve trained them before.

JR Howell (08:24):


Sevan Matossian (08:25):

So you’re saying that there’s things in there that if someone hasn’t trained,

Brian Friend (08:30):

Well, I could tell you this. If

JR Howell (08:31):

You, if you have, if you have, if you have never, if you have never done a cross every single under, or you do not have the correct rope to do them proficiently and or you’ve never done a wall facing strict handstand pushup, then I think those are two very big ifs. And those would, those would say that you don’t, you can’t be proficient because you’ve never done them before. And there are some people that probably got ’em the first try, but I would say that those two movements more so the crossover single under, and maybe it’s just that if you haven’t been doing ’em, shame on you.

Sevan Matossian (09:07):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So, so just a, uh, just a really quick thing. So this is the first I’m hearing this, this, um, uh, Taylor self. Wow. That’s

JR Howell (09:15):

A tailor. A link. That’s a

Sevan Matossian (09:16):

Link. Okay. Two of these tests are fucking ass pussy <laugh>. I thought he didn’t do drugs in alcohol. I thought he was like, went to the sobriety house. Is he drinking again? <laugh>. That doesn’t even make sense. That’s like something my kids say, I catch my kids. You don’t put those swear words in those swear words. Don’t go together. No, I love it. You didn’t even say that was edgy. It was an edgy comment. Yeah, that’s what it was. That’s like you calling someone like a dick bitch. It’s like, yo, that you don’t even make sense. <laugh>.

JR Howell (09:45):

Oh, they hit hard.

Sevan Matossian (09:47):

You dick bitch. Yeah. It doesn’t even make sense. Are you flip someone off with the wrong finger? It’s like, yeah, I’m boss Hard right now. Come on Taylor. You’re better than that. Um, at the games they were crossover double unders.

JR Howell (10:02):


Sevan Matossian (10:02):

Now they’re crossover single unders.

JR Howell (10:05):


Sevan Matossian (10:06):

Wow. That’s the first time I, I’ve been kind of in paying attention. Uh, but this is the first time that I’ve kind I’ve, I’ve made that distinction. Okay. And that’s why they look different when, uh, in Adrian’s video, when he was counting them. It’s basically the

JR Howell (10:16):


Sevan Matossian (10:17):

Why every time you do this, it’s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. No. Yes.

JR Howell (10:23):

After, after the first crossover has been successfully completed.

Sevan Matossian (10:29):

Okay. All right. Oh shit. Wow. Okay, here we go. Shit’s about to get crazy Gun done down Taylor High.

JR Howell (10:40):

Can you hear me?

Sevan Matossian (10:41):

Yeah. I’m taking a deep breath for you. Um, okay, uh, um, let me go to, um, uh, um, and, and do you have a problem with that, Jr? Are you, you’re saying it’s a great test if you’re proficient in all the movements are, I feel like there’s a hint of what you’re saying

JR Howell (10:58):

That all I, all I said was it’s that it’s a very balanced five tests if you are someone who is proficient at all of the movements provided.

Sevan Matossian (11:10):

Okay, let me, let me,

JR Howell (11:11):

So, so, so for example, if you’ve never done crossover single launders or you don’t have the right tool to do them successfully, that workout is which, which

Sevan Matossian (11:23):

Is a basically

JR Howell (11:25):

A beta jump. The workout is no longer an engine test. So I’m saying that is a basic capacity test if and only if you are able to do the crossover single lenders without stopping a bunch. And then if you are doing that, then it just becomes a skill limiting test. And it doesn’t really fall into the gymnastics bias, weightlifting bias or base capacity test.

Sevan Matossian (11:49):

But are you saying, sorry, hold on one sec. Taylor. Are you saying that the athletes have not been prepared for this? So that was basically the, the argument that I walked away with the CrossFit open, regardless of whether you like the test or you don’t like the test, the community and the affiliates weren’t prepared to do it because it was too big of a jump. And, and that jump fucking made everyone’s, uh, scores all rattled relative to their previous 10 years of doing the open. You do you feel me? Like we went, we, there was too much of a leap. Are you saying, are you suggesting it’s too much of a leap also for the quarter finals? Too many new things introduced.

JR Howell (12:21):

Like I know for a fact and it’s only because I don’t know what the other four of you’re capable of. I know there’s two people on this show right now that can do crossover single lenders all day.

Sevan Matossian (12:31):


JR Howell (12:31):

All right. And so it’s just one of those things like, oh yeah, I used to jump rope a lot. I used to box, I boxed for six months. Like one of the guys at my gym said that today I used to box for six months, so I know how to do those. But if I never would’ve boxed for six months, I would’ve had no clue how to do ’em. And a lot of people will push back and say, how could you not see this coming? There were crossover double under. So it was almost like a wake up call, Hey, I should be using this tool for more than just my double under machine. Which is what we went over Adrian quoted as saying

Sevan Matossian (13:00):

As soon as we saw him in the games, we should know as soon as we saw it in the games, we should know. It’s fair game everywhere I think. I mean, you know, uh, but okay. Uh, um, Taylor, did you wanna jump in and say something? What did you think about the quarter finals? Big picture?

Taylor Self (13:11):

I was, I was just gonna note that I felt like a good comparison would be trying to do crossover single owners with a speed rope versus a beaded rope is like trying to snatch a standard barbell with the little thin water plates that go on the sides. That’s not a standard thickness barbell versus an Olympic barbell that spins and has bushings. It’s just so, I mean, you can do them and I just think it’s a, I just think why, and I’m good at them. I’m not bad at them at all. I’m great at them. I can do ’em all day, but I just, why? Um, I think overall I like the workouts.

Sevan Matossian (13:44):

Like, like using a wrench to put in nails a thick wrench. You could do it, but why not use a hammer?

Taylor Self (13:49):

I, I don’t know. I think triple unders would’ve been better. How would you judge? Wouldn’t that be hard to judge

Sevan Matossian (13:54):

Though? Uh, but but before we, before we

Taylor Self (13:55):

Fall judging the dude, no fucking way

Sevan Matossian (13:58):

Before we fall into this, before we fall into this, I just wanna say, what do you think about the, so Jr’s saying it’s a good workout for test of fitness to get us to the semi-finals, basically

Taylor Self (14:07):

It’s good unless you’re someone who’s really fit and the only reason you don’t get to semi-finals is because he didn’t have a BD jump rope.

Sevan Matossian (14:13):

Okay. That’s what JR said to Yeah. I don’t,

JR Howell (14:15):

Don’t, I don’t, I don’t like that.

Sevan Matossian (14:16):

But, uh, um, Brian, uh, thought thoughts, big picture on these, uh, quarter final workouts for what they’re supposed to do. Grab this next batch, this 10% and move them on

Brian Friend (14:25):

Not 10% specific number per competitive region. But I think what I think is that, uh, when I see the, the openness here and the quarter finals this year is the CrossFit has an identity crisis. They don’t know what they’re doing and they don’t know the purpose of this test. Because this test, if you, if you believe that this test is specifically to find the, the group of people that’s qualifying for semi-finals, then there’s way too many people taking it that have no business taking it. If on the other hand mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, the point of this is to have an the open, be inclusive for everyone. And as a side note, get people the quarter finals, I think the quarter finals needs to be redefined because I know people that were livid, crying, whatever, when they saw these tests and they’re like, I, I want my money back. Like this is ridiculous. I can’t even do three of the five workouts. And to me that that’s, that problem is on CrossFit, not with ma the design of the workouts, but with the barrier to entry being too low compared to the caliber or difficulty of the test. And if you’re someone you know, like, uh, you know, Taylor or JR that are in a lot of the athletes that they work with, the test is perfectly fine. I mean, it’s a

Sevan Matossian (15:32):

Hiller two Hiller two Hiller, two

Brian Friend (15:35):

Hiller’s done not eligible, but certainly what was a couple years ago here, here’s a

JR Howell (15:39):

Layer deeper. He knew.

Brian Friend (15:41):

Um, but, but anyway, the high level athletes, it is a good test to qualify them for the 10%, but we’re talking about 1% of the open athletes that this is a good test for and maybe another two to 3% that it’s a challenging test that will push them in the ways that they need to. But then percentages four through 10 have no business taking this test.

Sevan Matossian (16:01):

Okay. That’s a interesting observation. Do you agree with that, JR So let’s look, do you, you guys assume that the open should be for everyone. We all agree with that, but, but they kind of,

Brian Friend (16:12):

What’s that way is what it’s advertised as.

Sevan Matossian (16:14):

Right? And then, and then if it’s advertised, you guys

Brian Friend (16:16):

All know I then that’s what it should be

Sevan Matossian (16:18):

And you guys, no, I don’t like all that scaling shit. I think that there should be a fucking open that’s for everyone. If for some reason you can’t do the fifth workout, then you can’t do all of the fifth workout. But, but I think it, they should find a way to make that shit for everyone. Now what you’re saying is you’re kind of bringing that to the quarter finals. What, what, how, what, there’s five workouts. What, how many, let’s say there’s 30,000 athletes there. Of those 30,000 athletes, should all of them be able to do four of the workouts? Is that what you’re saying? Four and a half of the workouts.

JR Howell (16:47):

Every person that just started for quarter

Sevan Matossian (16:48):

Finals. Yeah. Like Brian’s saying that a bunch of people can only do two of the workouts cuz it’s just too hard. And that’s where he’s claiming the identity crisis is like either you brought too many fucking people or the workouts aren’t right, but, but you guys are confused. Well

JR Howell (17:01):

That, I think that’s the question. I’m just curious too, like is like when you say that, like my mind immediately goes to, I can’t front squat 2 25 or 1 55 from the floor. And so that eliminates a group of people. Um, I can’t, um,

Brian Friend (17:19):

Clean a jerk 2 75 or 180 5

JR Howell (17:22):

Right? Can’t, or

Brian Friend (17:23):

I can’t do a, I can’t do a 25 foot on broken hand stand lock. Those are the three things

JR Howell (17:28):

I just immediately,

Brian Friend (17:29):

Yeah, I like, uh, I think everyone who’s made this stage can figure out how to do workouts two and four. No problem. I think everyone who did the open could do workouts two and four as long as the Dumbo was a 50 and 35, but at the square

JR Howell (17:42):

Nothing to a certain

Brian Friend (17:43):

0.5, probably to a certain point. Uh, the deadlifts. Yeah. Um, but you know,

Sevan Matossian (17:50):

Brian, Brian, let me push back here. They do need to make sure that they call the herd because the people who go to semi-finals are gonna have to do some hard shit.

Brian Friend (17:59):

Well, remember, remember? Yeah. Oh yeah, a hundred percent. I and it for that purpose, I have no issue with this test. I actually think this is a great test to just turn, you know, overall I think there’s some problems with the administration of the test, but the test itself I think is a great test to find the 30 or 60 men and women in every competitive region that you want to compete at semi-finals. And I actually think it’s a decent evolution from what the open was. The problem is the barrier of entry because I told you last week that I know people that are competing as a woman in this quarter, in this quarter final that cannot do a ring muscle that cannot do a strict handstand pushup and who cannot do a thruster that’s over 135 pounds. And I feel like just, just knowing that that’s, that not being able to do any of those things is good enough to make the stage of competition does not equate with the first movements for two or three of these workouts or the first barbell waiter or the first gymnastics movement.

Sevan Matossian (18:51):

She can’t do one muscle up and she made it to the quarter finals.

Brian Friend (18:54):

She can’t do one muscle up. She can’t do one strict handstand pushup. And she, her Max Su was 1 27 and she made it to this stage. So that that’s, that’s the problem I think not with her. I mean she didn’t do anything wrong. She did the test. Right. She’s gonna have to make it, she accepted the invitation, she paid $50 and she’s pissed.

Mattew Souza (19:11):

So you’re basically saying there needs to be a stepping stone between this and semi-final because if you think back from open to regional, that heat one that used to go, you would see people just stand there and stare at the wall or there’d be a sta or a clean that they just couldn’t get. Or maybe they would get one rep. So you’re saying that shouldn’t happen in quarterfinals, that should happen that type of, of buried entry shop at semifinals.

Taylor Self (19:32):

Well, I I do have one thing to say to Brian and that athlete is there have been ring muscle ups and strict handstand pushups the previous two years in quarterfinals. So if you’re spending $50 and expecting them not to be there and getting pissed,

Brian Friend (19:43):

Sure, sure, sure. Her personal reaction is whatever. But I think I know from, uh, just talking with people throughout the last day or two that you know, she’s not alone. There are a lot of athletes that made it to this stage of competition and are looking at this like what the hell

Sevan Matossian (19:56):

Or take less athletes Matt.

Brian Friend (19:58):

And just to like reiterate, I don’t have a problem with the test, but I think that there’s a group of people taking this test that have no business taking this test.

Sevan Matossian (20:06):

Uh, Hillary thought thoughts A big, big, big picture. Thoughts on the test?

Andrew Hiller (20:10):

The filter to get people here sucked and they take too many people.

Sevan Matossian (20:14):

Okay. Okay. Does that

Andrew Hiller (20:17):

Summarize everybody’s

Sevan Matossian (20:17):

Thoughts? So, so you’re not digging So, so didn’t dig, you weren’t digging the open and if you did dig the open, still too many people got through.

Andrew Hiller (20:25):

Correct. One of the things I liked two to five and I think that was Maxwell how you said that last

Sevan Matossian (20:30):

Year, two to 5%

Andrew Hiller (20:31):


Taylor Self (20:32):

I also don’t, this is, this is maybe a different, a topic for a different conversation, but I’m also not sure why they went to splitting to 60 and 60 instead of keeping it just 120 people in North America and seeding evenly to each semi-final. I don’t know Brian, is that,

Brian Friend (20:48):

Uh, I mean I, I’m, I’m, I think the way they have the season laid out is perfect.

Taylor Self (20:52):

<laugh> he lost

Sevan Matossian (20:53):


JR Howell (20:55):

Yeah, I’ll say like something that Got

Sevan Matossian (20:57):

It. Is Brian’s joking right? Oh, sorry. Jer, go. Sorry.

JR Howell (21:00):

Something Andrew talked about on his video this morning that I thought was really cool is that hey, like just because you don’t like the test doesn’t mean they’re not good tests. It just means you don’t like ’em. And sometimes that’s okay. Sometimes people will say like, kind of to Brian’s sentiment, um, you may not like the movement’s chosen, but as a whole it’s still a good test. You may not like V Ups or think that they have any kind of, um, place in competitive competition. But that doesn’t mean that that is no longer a good engine capacity test. Just because they’re v ups in it, it just means you think maybe there should have just been more ghs. You see what I’m saying?

Sevan Matossian (21:44):

So Well, a hundred percent. A hundred percent.

JR Howell (21:45):

It’s, yeah. It’s uh, and I think Hillary did a good job kind of driving that home that just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not good. Essentially

Brian Friend (21:54):

Hillary once, once Hillary eclipse that one year, one video per day for every year, I think his relaxed and he settled into his evolved

Sevan Matossian (22:01):

Form. He got soft <laugh>

Taylor Self (22:02):

Shred tended YouTube

Sevan Matossian (22:04):

<laugh>. I wore my crash show sweatshirt today at the beach. Uh, Pope, no, you jimson. Please tell Liz you want me get to do a work to do a workout. Lizzie, go do a workout. What the fuck? Damnit. Lizzie. Lizzie, uh, you got a workout for her from self, uh, um, made uh, training.

Taylor Self (22:20):

Here’s Lizzie.

Sevan Matossian (22:21):

Just some chick

Taylor Self (22:23):

<laugh>. Yeah, I got a workout here.

Sevan Matossian (22:24):

Here we go. Lizzie, get ready. Write this down.

Taylor Self (22:26):

15 rounds for time.

Sevan Matossian (22:29):

Uhhuh. I like it.

Taylor Self (22:30):

Two devil’s press four dumbbell thrusters working for one minute. Resting for one minute until completion.

Sevan Matossian (22:36):

Wow. Oh wait, wait. Uh, so what ends up being seven rounds?

Taylor Self (22:41):


Sevan Matossian (22:42):

It’s, so, it’s a 30 minute workout.

Taylor Self (22:43):

It’s 15 rounds for time of two devil’s presses and four dumbbell thrusters. And you’re going to have one minute of work followed by one minute of rest until you complete those 15 rounds. So it’s basically a one minute am wrap. One minute rest until you complete 15 rounds. It’s probably like a 15 minute workout. 1520.

Sevan Matossian (23:01):

How? Wait, what? What the fuck? How come I don’t understand. That’s a 30 minute workout. It’s one minute on and one minute off. Or 15. We’re gonna do

Taylor Self (23:07):

15 round. Come on. You can only do two devil’s presses in fourth thrusters in one minute. You pussy

Sevan Matossian (23:12):

<laugh>. No, I’m gonna do, no, I’m gonna do as many as I can in a minute and then I get a minute off.

Brian Friend (23:16):

We allowed you on there. You have to use compound swear words.

Taylor Self (23:20):

<laugh> <laugh>. You fucking asked pussy. You

Sevan Matossian (23:23):

Dick bitch.

Taylor Self (23:25):


Sevan Matossian (23:26):

Wait, listen to me, listen to me. Just bear with me for a second. You’re to shut it Bailey. Fucking Bailey. Listen to me. If it, it’s one minute on, one minute off for 15 rounds. That’s 30 minutes. No,

Mattew Souza (23:37):

No. But the one minute is an am wrap. So when you finish your four thrusters, there’s still gonna be time. You go right into your two devil press. So you might get three or rounds in a minute, then you rest, then you would start over where you left off and continue until you completed 15

Sevan Matossian (23:50):

Minutes. I’m not doing this work workout. I don’t understand.

Andrew Hiller (23:52):

Hold me. Imagine you do a hundred calories on the assault bike, two minutes on, one minute off. You see how far you can get and then you take a minute off until you’re done with a hundred.

Sevan Matossian (23:59):

Okay? Someone texted to me and I’ll do it. He

Mattew Souza (24:01):

Translated to a assault bike for you. That was the closest

Sevan Matossian (24:03):

We’re gonna get. That was good. I appreciate that. I was already like seeing red, uh, Shana Shanee. Sorry, that’s a little discriminatory against Taylor. It was has nothing to do with you Taylor Red. It’s just like, uh, just common, uh, poetic phrasing. Uh, Shayna Watson 2 99. Um, a money. Thank you. Uh, CF only fans. I beat everyone at my gym who is in quarter finals in the first two workouts. I didn’t qualify. Not all the right people are in because the open workouts, because of the open workouts. It was

Mattew Souza (24:34):

Like a, a subtle brag in being a victim at the same time.

Sevan Matossian (24:38):

<laugh>, uh, David, David, David Hadaway, uh, I love that the line was drawn in the sand with the weights and the gymnastics and the quarters. I wish it was done in the open so the right people move on. What, what’s he, uh, what’s he mean by that helping do you underst I don’t understand. Do you understand? He wish

Halpin (24:54):

He wishes it was harder, sooner so in the open that they actually made it more difficult to get through to that 10%. And that’s what you’re athlete that get here.

Sevan Matossian (25:04):

And that’s what you’re saying, Brian.

Brian Friend (25:06):

I think though, I think the open was plenty hard. I just think that, I mean, what did we see the, what was the statistic? It was like 45,000 men and 9,000 women were able to do a strict handstand pushup, something like that. But 15,000 women qualified for this stage of competition. So you have 60% of the qualifiers that are able to do one strict handstand pushup maybe cuz maybe they didn’t all come from the same region, but just in theory. And at the same time you had only 30,000 of the men qualify at the same scale out of 15,000 or out of 45,000. They had 150% of the population could that could do it. So there’s a dis the great disparity between the skills required to make it in the male competition compared to the female competition.

Sevan Matossian (25:50):

Uh, uh, <laugh>. I i, I I love this lo this is amazing logic. Look at all the cast. Lizzie is caused by not working out. Oh,

Mattew Souza (25:58):

Come on Lizzie. Look what you did.

Sevan Matossian (26:00):

The third piece. Um, so, uh, should we talk about this first? The, the, so the first two workouts have been turned in? Correct.

Halpin (26:08):


Sevan Matossian (26:09):

Uh, should we talk about that? Do you guys wanna just jump to, I’d like to talk about how the athletes did, if you’re surprised how they did what the workouts are. Look at the leaderboard. Let’s let,

Brian Friend (26:17):

Let’s more, let’s take ’em one at a time so we can talk about what they are.

Sevan Matossian (26:21):

Okay. Kind

Brian Friend (26:22):

Of. And then how some people did. And then we’ll look at the overall results after that.

Sevan Matossian (26:26):

And, and I’d especially like to know if anyone shit the bed so bad that it’s like, Ooh, are they they’re in trouble.

Halpin (26:33):

I could tell you. Okay.

Sevan Matossian (26:35):

Oh, okay. Good. <laugh>, you said that. Uh, Shanee Watson Hiller. Please review, uh, grace Walton’s workout two video. Wow.

Halpin (26:44):

Bingo. Thank you.

Sevan Matossian (26:45):

Wow. Is that what I think it is? You’re telling you per, you’re calling someone out on the podcast to Hillary to go straight to the for

Halpin (26:52):

$3 <laugh>. Holy,

Sevan Matossian (26:54):

Holy shit. And we thank

Mattew Souza (26:55):

You for it. Keep it coming guys. Give us your money. Hillary will do a video on whoever <laugh>

Sevan Matossian (26:59):

We, we charge, we charge for Heller’s work at Henchman working. Hey, is that, is that, that’s brutal, right?

Halpin (27:06):

Is it bad? I watched it this morning.

Sevan Matossian (27:08):

I don’t know if it’s bad. It’s savage. Why? You know who Grace Walton’s is

Halpin (27:12):

She Kelsey? It’s

Brian Friend (27:13):

Gracie Walton. She’s spelled both her first and last name wrong but <laugh>. Um, we don’t actually know based on that. If it’s a good or a bad thing that she wants us to see.

Sevan Matossian (27:21):

I gotta work out. I invented, I gotta workout. I invented. Oh, here we go. Everyone can do it, but I can’t understand it. Amped Amanda <laugh>.

Brian Friend (27:30):

Everyone can do it.

Sevan Matossian (27:31):

<laugh> three rounds for time. <laugh> nine strict muscle ups. Uh, 985 pound squat snatches. Easy. Not

Brian Friend (27:38):

Even everyone who went to the 2019 CrossFit games could do this workout.

Mattew Souza (27:41):

<laugh>. Well wait, what’s the men wait on the squat snatch?

Sevan Matossian (27:46):

Uh, that it’s just, there are no men and women in Mexico. David Aguilar Vasquez.

Halpin (27:51):

The worst part about that is 650 Mexican is like four bucks.

Sevan Matossian (27:54):

No, no. I figured out Ends up being $37. That’s good money. Yeah, that’s good. That’s bucks. Okay. That’s, that’s good

Halpin (28:00):


Sevan Matossian (28:02):

Look, that’s good. That’s good, Caleb.

Halpin (28:05):

Holy shit.

Sevan Matossian (28:06):

That’s as much as everyone else donated. All, all together.

Halpin (28:10):


Sevan Matossian (28:11):

Okay. Uh, when you say you wanna look at ’em, well we go one at a time. Uh, Mr. Friend, are you talking about the work, the workouts or the athletes? Yeah. <laugh> workouts. Okay. The

Halpin (28:19):


Sevan Matossian (28:20):

Okay. Uh, so let’s pull up workout number one. Uh, please. Mr. Beaver. Dan Beaver, you’re good. Uh, nine front squats with the heaviest weight. Nine handstand walks 25 feet, 15 front squats, 15 muscle ups, 21 front squats, 21 chest to wall, hands stand pushups. And then the weights are below, starts with the heaviest and goes to the lightest.

Brian Friend (28:45):


Sevan Matossian (28:46):

Uh, ascending reps. Uh, descending weight.

Brian Friend (28:50):


Sevan Matossian (28:51):

Now I’m just showing off.

Brian Friend (28:53):

Have to take the bar from the floor and you have to do the handstand walks in Unbroken sets of 25 feet.

Sevan Matossian (29:04):

Don’t all jump in at once. Uh, let’s start with Halpin. Now no one ever expects me to pick on, uh, Mr. Halpin, uh, Halpin. Um, uh, good workout. You like it?

Halpin (29:16):

I think I’m the only person here that hasn’t done this workout, so

Sevan Matossian (29:19):

I’m No, I have not done it either.

Mattew Souza (29:21):

I haven’t done the workout.

Sevan Matossian (29:23):

<laugh>. Hey, look at everyone

Halpin (29:25):


Sevan Matossian (29:26):

Been Down. Hasn’t done it.

Halpin (29:28):

<laugh> neither. Yeah. Move

Mattew Souza (29:29):

Caleb. There you go.

Halpin (29:30):

<laugh> there. Stack rank us as far as we could do the best in the workout.

Sevan Matossian (29:35):

Uh, um, thoughts? Uh, Brian, good test.

Brian Friend (29:39):

I think for the, you know, this is a great test for that group of people we’re talking about. Like, if you’re trying to select people to advance to the next stage, you need a test like this. This is, uh, the capacity to move a heavy barbell, to do high skill gymnastics and to adapt to, you know, some standards late in the workout that they maybe haven’t practiced before.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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