#786 – Black History Month w/ Alex Caceres, Darian Weeks & Justin Nunley

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

Soon. I thought that too soon as we put abortion in the title, like you can’t name. That’s one of the rules about YouTube. You can’t have the word abortion in the title.

Matthew Souza (00:07):

I don’t even think you could say like only fans and stuff. Cuz some of those clips that I watch in like the shorts that have hundreds of thousands of views and stuff, they’ll bleep all of that.

Sevan Matossian (00:18):

Oh, what if you go to YouTube, uh, right now and you just type in the word abortion, by the way, nice to see you here this morning. Let’s

Matthew Souza (00:25):

Find out. Yes. Good to be here on a Friday. Normally it doesn’t work out like that, but this today it does.

Sevan Matossian (00:32):

So I’m gonna go to, uh,

Matthew Souza (00:34):

Are you typing it in?

Sevan Matossian (00:35):

I just went to, I’m gonna just see if I can get, I’m gonna go to YouTube and just type in abortion.

Matthew Souza (00:40):

There’s like, he’ll experience story time abortion, tablet for one month pregnancy, abortion. Abortion. Little Wayne <laugh> that’s random

Sevan Matossian (00:49):

On the front lines of the abortion war Abortion pill. That’s from Vice abortion Pill Debate. Pro-life activist Mark Hook on shocking details of Planned Parenthood. Uh oh. Yeah. Yeah. Very. Oh, I wonder if you can get it with anti-abortion. I wonder if YouTube has the same guidelines. I, it’s crazy that there’s words, um,

Matthew Souza (01:13):

That’ll trigger it.

Sevan Matossian (01:14):

Yeah. Oh dude, someone sent me something, um, yesterday showing that. So, so my kids have an iPad and my wife erased YouTube and Safari off of it and YouTube kids off. It just has like the photo app and so they can FaceTime their grandmother and grandfather.

Matthew Souza (01:31):

That’s cool.

Sevan Matossian (01:32):

And then yesterday, maybe it was my sister sent me a, someone had signed their kids up for YouTube kids and they had put in the, I guess you can put in what age your kids are nine to 12. And the first videos that are recommended by YouTube is, uh, like Henry and Henry and it’s like two boys holding hands or learning, learning what the letters of L G B T T L learning the letters of the gay alphabet <laugh>. And it’s crazy, it’s crazy that YouTube, those are the, were the first two videos that you YouTube. It’s like, Hey dude, do, dear God, Hey, what would it take for some of you to pull your kids outta school? What would it take? I wonder what it would take.

Matthew Souza (02:18):

Like how, that’s an interesting question. Like what’s the tipping point? Like when do you, when are like,

Sevan Matossian (02:21):

No, you just say you can’t do it. And you say that ev people say you’re trying your best and you don’t got money and Yeah. You gotta work a full-time job. I get all that. It’s fucking crazy. I get it. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But what would it take, what would have to happen

Matthew Souza (02:36):


Sevan Matossian (02:37):

At your school where you just like, where you bring your kid to Safeway with you. Let’s say you’re a checker at Safeway where you’re like, Hey, you now come to Safeway with me,

Matthew Souza (02:44):

<laugh>. Fuck it. You work. Yeah. Yeah. Go hang out with employee lounge for eight hours and do your Kumon.

Sevan Matossian (02:50):

What a, what a crazy,

Matthew Souza (02:51):

That’s a good question. What

Sevan Matossian (02:52):

A crazy story that would be. Hey, they showing my kids butt plugs and dildos at, at, at school. And so I had to bring him to, uh, look at Darren’s <laugh>. So I had to bring him to Safeway with me today.

Matthew Souza (03:05):


Sevan Matossian (03:06):

Darien, I was talking about like, uh, one of my, um, uh, friends just signed their kid kid up for YouTube plus and said that they’re in the nine to 12 range so that like, it would be appropriate material. And the first two videos that came up for the kid were like Henry and Henry and it’s like two boys holding hands. And then the other one was a video explaining to their nine to 12 year old, uh, what LGBTQ plus stands for. And it’s like, come on dude. They’re fucking nine.

Darian Weeks (03:33):

They’re nine and 12.

Sevan Matossian (03:34):

Yeah. And it’s, and and, and then there’s like videos called Colors of the Rainbow and it’s just all about accepting gay people. It’s like, dude,

Darian Weeks (03:40):

That’s what you get for living on the West coast.

Sevan Matossian (03:43):

<laugh>. No, it’s you too. Well, yeah, that’s true.

Matthew Souza (03:45):

Yeah. The algorithm changes through the That’s better than before. You know, before they used to have like that, uh, one guy who was like making all the kid shows in the Spider-Man, uh, costume and it was doing really weird like indie innuendos and like sexual things that were like kind of subconscious. You remember that? That was a couple years back before you.

Sevan Matossian (04:04):

I do remember that. But I didn’t know he got, he got like, uh, Elmo, Elmo Elmo was a pedophile, right?

Matthew Souza (04:09):

Uh, yeah, it got

Sevan Matossian (04:10):

Weird. Got busted.

Matthew Souza (04:11):

Yes. And the thing was is that a lot of parents don’t pay attention to what YouTube’s actually recommending. So going back to that, you’re, you’re choosing, that’s

Sevan Matossian (04:17):

The whole point of giving it to him. So you can go in the back and smoke a weed, some weed and drink some whiskey. Just give it to YouTube. It’s safe

Matthew Souza (04:24):

<laugh> And uh, they’re, they’re, we talked about outsourcing their education before. You’re outsourcing it right there to YouTube’s algorithms because the second you hand the, the, your, you know, iPad or phone to the kid and you say, okay, you’re on your own, go for it. Once that video ends, YouTube’s recommending another one and another one and another one and another one. And you have, unless you’re paying attention, you don’t have control over that,

Darian Weeks (04:46):

I’m telling you. And it goes quick too. They just throw anything on the screen and the kids will press anything as well. Yep. Yeah. As a kid.

Sevan Matossian (04:54):

Yep. Seven. Are you betting the house on Vul? Kovski? Dude, I would be so happy if Vul Kovski won, but I think that Islam might tie him into a knot and throw him out of the ring. WW f e style What, what variant Mr. Weeks? I

Darian Weeks (05:08):

Was vul Kovski as well.

Sevan Matossian (05:11):

You’re hoping he wins too?

Darian Weeks (05:13):

I’m thinking he will.

Sevan Matossian (05:14):

Oh, you think he will? God, I hope you’re right. Hey, if he wins, it’s, it’s, oh yeah, we talked about this last time. I think it catapults him into like John Jones Anderson Silva, G G g S P status.

Darian Weeks (05:25):

Most definitely. It does. It it definitely does. And also I just think he’s gonna win just because, you know, that guy used to be 200 and like 30 pounds at his life.

Sevan Matossian (05:35):

Yeah. Yeah.

Darian Weeks (05:36):

He used to be. So I think he’s the only one that has the strength that’ll contend with, um, Islam. I think he’s just gonna be as strong and be able to get up. Cuz he has said something like, every time somebody takes him down he always gets back up. You know what I mean? Always. So, I mean,

Sevan Matossian (05:53):

How, how much will, um, uh, Islam weigh when he walks in there? I heard he walks in at, like, I heard he walks around at 180.

Darian Weeks (06:00):


Sevan Matossian (06:01):


Darian Weeks (06:03):

Well that’s not very heavy at all. Huh?

Sevan Matossian (06:05):

Seems giant to me for if he’s fighting at 1 55.

Darian Weeks (06:08):

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. But I mean, think about when Michael Chandler walks back in there at Michael Chandler walks back in there at like 196 pounds.

Sevan Matossian (06:16):

He does?

Darian Weeks (06:17):

Yeah. He’s ginormous.

Sevan Matossian (06:19):

Wow. Okay.

Darian Weeks (06:20):

And they say when they see him, when people see him in real life, like he’s just like a huge ginormous, hairy beast. Like he’s just, he waxes his chest. That’s what he has to do to get all his chest hair off. Cuz they said normally he’s just covered in hair on his chest.

Sevan Matossian (06:35):

Wow. So he’s, um, and that helps him lose another pound.

Darian Weeks (06:39):

Probably <laugh>

Sevan Matossian (06:40):

No boys are on Islam side. Hey dude, that’s the easy pick. I mean, here’s the good thing for Volk. He’s not supposed to win. He’s the small, he’s the 145 pound champ.

Darian Weeks (06:49):

Yeah, no, yeah, for sure. He’s not supposed to win, but, um, I think it’d be a great upset, you know, and, um, I’m hoping it happens, but no one’s beat a Pakistanian yet, so we’ll have to see. You know, that that’s the, that’s the name of the game right there. They don’t do anything butt trained. So I mean, v

Sevan Matossian (07:08):

They don’t, they don’t do anything but butt trained. What’s butt training? <laugh>.

Matthew Souza (07:12):

Oh, damn.

Darian Weeks (07:13):


Sevan Matossian (07:14):

Say that’s good, right? That’s what you call listening people. <laugh>. I didn’t say it. Darien said all those Dani do is butt train <laugh>. And I don’t know what butt train is.

Darian Weeks (07:24):

<laugh>. Uh, well, who knows what they’d do on their side, but that’s another, you know.

Sevan Matossian (07:31):

Oh shit. Austin Hartman. Uh, I think my YouTube algorithm is broken. I keep getting recommendations for this show with an Armenian midget in the hippie. Fair enough. Wow. You got, uh, am I the hippie? You got su as a hippie. That’s cool.

Darian Weeks (07:44):

Yeah, hippie with the beanie on. Got

Matthew Souza (07:46):

Could be called worse things. <laugh>. The hair’s just outta hand. It’s just like,

Darian Weeks (07:51):

Oh yeah, I feel you. Actually, it

Matthew Souza (07:52):

Kind of looks okay

Darian Weeks (07:53):

Now it looks decent. Yeah, I

Matthew Souza (07:55):

Need that comb

Sevan Matossian (07:55):

That you gotta go to the weekly cuts.

Darian Weeks (07:58):

Oh yeah. All the way down here in the Midwest.

Matthew Souza (08:01):


Sevan Matossian (08:03):

Could I beat Hezbollah? Go fuck yourself.

Matthew Souza (08:06):


Sevan Matossian (08:07):

Choke that fucking midget out

Matthew Souza (08:09):


Darian Weeks (08:11):

Fucking, uh, no, but yeah, I think, uh, what was the butt luck story though? I didn’t get, I didn’t get the full look

Sevan Matossian (08:19):

Down. Oh, just, just that YouTube, it’s just like, just YouTube is recommend if you So they have something called YouTube kids. No, I, I, I I was, uh, they have something called YouTube Kids, which is what you’re supposed to sign your kids up for instead of YouTube so that they don’t get recommended fucked up shit. And if you, but recently someone showed me, Hey look, I signed my kids up for YouTube kids and the first two videos that come up are talking to them about gay sex, gay relationships, <laugh>. And it’s like, holy shit. Like, and so then I was like, Hey, what would you have to do? What, what, what do people need? A lot of people, um, uh, when I talk about homeschooling your kids up on here, people say like, they have all these reasons why they don’t do it. Right. I work a full-time job, my husband works, we can barely make ends meet. I have three kids. I mean like valid reasons, right? Yeah. Like, fuck, uh, but um, hey, I, so I was like, Hey, what would you have to do to finally pull your kids outta school? Like if the teacher was like, Hey, I want to, it’s okay to lick, uh, your, your, and I’m, I’m not trying to be crass, I’m just telling the truth. If the teacher started teaching, um, the boys in there, it’s okay to lick other boys’ assholes, would you pull your son outta the school? And it’s like,


That’s what’s your what?

Darian Weeks (09:35):

I said, that should be a hell yeah. Pull your sign outta

Sevan Matossian (09:37):

The school in. Yeah. Right, right. And then, and then let’s say you’re a checker at Safeway or something, then what do you do? You just bring your kid with you and you’re like, Hey, just sit here. And the manager’s like, Hey, why is your kid here? And so Well, they were teaching ’em how to lick asshole today.

Darian Weeks (09:49):

They pulled him out. <laugh>. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (09:51):

Hey, here’s the thing. You have to know this though. And I speak on behalf of me and Darien also. We don’t want the teachers teaching them that. But if you send your kids to school, definitely their friends are teaching them that. So don’t, don’t forget that either. Like the shit we talk about. I don’t know about girls. I didn’t hang out. No girls would hang out with me. Yeah. <laugh>. But, but boys, like, we talk about crazy shit at school.

Darian Weeks (10:16):

Crazy shit.

Sevan Matossian (10:17):

<laugh>. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, um, but I mean, I, we don’t need teachers talking about crazy shit. We do it

Darian Weeks (10:23):

Ourselves age as well. You know what I mean? I mean, I don’t know if I talked about that much crazy shit when I was nine, but I mean, not four.

Sevan Matossian (10:31):

Hey dude, in the second grade you didn’t go into the bathroom with your friends, like five or six of you and just take turns saying bad words.

Darian Weeks (10:38):

<laugh> probably did that. Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (10:41):

I definitely did that. It was crazy. That’s how I, you look, you, it’s like that game, you know, I would say Dick, and then someone says shit, and next thing you know, someone’s saying fuck, and it’s just a circle. And then dudes are like saying, putting two words together, like, shit fuck. And you’re like, dang.

Matthew Souza (10:55):

Oh, better the swear circle than the other type of circle. So.

Sevan Matossian (10:58):


Darian Weeks (10:58):

Definitely better the <laugh>. I’ll definitely be a part of that more than, more than the other circle.

Matthew Souza (11:05):

And I bet you it takes a lot to get a parent to pull it outta school. I was reading a book a while back about immigration and what it takes for somebody to actually leave their family in home country behind. And a lot of times it takes way more than you think. It takes like the intimate threat of death. Like, and even then, it depends on how bad it is, but unless there’s some sort of, unless there’s no reason for you to stay, meaning the economy’s just complete trash. Their people are being, you know, um, brutalized or, or hurt or killed within your time. Like, it takes a lot for somebody to uproot and leave. And I bet you with the kids in the school, it would, it would take a lot, think about what’s happened in our schools. And even a lot of that stuff doesn’t warrant somebody to take it out. They just think, oh, it’s an isolated incident. It’s just that one teacher, once we remove ’em, it’s just this or it’s just that. And even if they realize it’s the whole entire school board that’s holding up that, that agenda narrative and then, and then propagating it through the classrooms. I, I just think people are too, too like niched into that. They, they, they don’t think there’s another option really. There isn’t. So I don’t think they would leave

Darian Weeks (12:03):

And a a couple times there has been imminent death, the threat. That’s

Matthew Souza (12:07):

Right. That’s right. And

Darian Weeks (12:08):

Still, they still will allow their, their child to go to school. I mean, after that last one I would’ve been like, yeah, never where that guy came down from wherever down to San Antonio. San Antonio and Oh,

Sevan Matossian (12:19):

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Darian Weeks (12:20):

No way. I’m never putting my kid in school again.

Sevan Matossian (12:23):

Hey, so listen, I just typed in high school fentanyl, death.

Matthew Souza (12:26):


Sevan Matossian (12:27):

Jesus. And, and January 11th, 2023. Um, uh, and hey, just so you know, like I’m not, I don’t have fear of this stuff, by the way. Like, if my kids went to school, like, I’m like, I

Matthew Souza (12:40):

You’re not afraid of fentanyl?

Sevan Matossian (12:42):

No, no. Well, I’m afraid, I’m not afraid of school. Hoo. I’m not afraid of school shooting, shooting at all. Well, statistically

Matthew Souza (12:48):

Yeah. Statistically zero. It’s not as big of a deal. But the fentanyl thing, I mean, put it this way, how many, how many, uh, people do you know personally that have died of fentanyl that’s either close or one person away, right? Five and e. E Exactly. So if you ask that same question, how, I

Sevan Matossian (13:03):

Don’t know anyone who died from a school shooter. No. Right,

Matthew Souza (13:05):

Right. So statistically speaking, you’re gonna have way more, um, issue with the fentanyl than you would the school shootings.

Darian Weeks (13:12):

Yeah. I mean, fentanyl, they’re just putting it in anything and everything they can touch nowadays.

Matthew Souza (13:16):

Dude, it’s crazy. Yeah. And people that aren’t even aware of it. Like, there was a story that I heard, I worked with some firefighters out here in Hayward, relatively close, like San Francisco and Oakland. And they were talking about how they rolled up on a Buffalo Wild Wings. This was months back and it was just a couple of, uh, three guys out there to watch the game. One of ’em picked up a little bag, he thought they bought a little coke, they’re just gonna go out and recreationally use it. Not the type of people that you would ever assume as a drug dealers or I mean into drugs or anything like that. And fricking two out of the three of ’em died on the spot because there was fentanyl in it. Yeah. And they weren’t drug users, so they snorted that. And fricking two of ’em went down right in the bathroom. One guy made it out to the front of Buffalo Alley.

Sevan Matossian (13:54):

Shit, these are, these are faces. Look at these kids. These are dorks.

Darian Weeks (13:58):

Yeah, but I’m

Sevan Matossian (14:00):

Saying fucking these aren’t these, I mean, these are goofballs this day he’s got both straps of his backpack on. Yeah.

Matthew Souza (14:06):

Well that’s cool. Now Savon, it’s not

Sevan Matossian (14:07):

<laugh>. Oh, <laugh> <laugh>.

Matthew Souza (14:10):

Nobody does the one Strapper.

Darian Weeks (14:12):

He got a note too. Like fentanyl is not even, like, not even just something that you have to ingest. It is also a cream. Like even if you put a, I mean, the cream can just be on your arm and it will dry into your bloodstream.

Matthew Souza (14:25):


Darian Weeks (14:26):

If kids, whatever kids touch that they don’t normally touch, you know, it’s, it’s serious deal.

Sevan Matossian (14:32):

It’s, Hey, didn’t a cop die like that? Darienne like a cop pulled someone over and they touched, they touched some dude’s fentanyl and they died just right there on the spot. Had a reaction and died.

Darian Weeks (14:41):

That, but I mean, that’s po It could, it could happen. You know, and I, and I will say like, uh, in my, in my high school days, um, right at the edge high, right at the se my senior year, we, everybody was partying at this house. And I did, uh, jump in and do some fentanyl. And I’ll tell you what, it was the, it’s the worst thing you could do, bro.

Sevan Matossian (15:02):

It’s a, you didn’t like it.

Darian Weeks (15:03):

It’s an anesthetic is what it is. It’s something that they put on you before surgery or something like that, you know, so that you no longer feel pain or you cannot move. You know what I’m saying? During the procedure. And we are doing these strips where, you know, you put ’em right underneath your tongue and I’ll tell you what, I was stone cold for literally an hour plus. I mean, like, I mean, just not being able to move.

Sevan Matossian (15:27):

What year was that? What year was that?

Darian Weeks (15:30):

Go ahead. The 2012 before.

Sevan Matossian (15:36):

So you’ve taken a1 year break from your fentanyl

Darian Weeks (15:38):

Use. Yeah. You know, I was thinking about going back, but then, you know, some,

Sevan Matossian (15:44):

Hey, someone in the comments wrote, um, darn, someone in the comments wrote for Black History Month. Uh, there were some black kids at a school making the white kids carry their books around. But I can’t, I wanted to find the article.

Alex Caceres (15:58):

<laugh> <laugh>. That would’ve

Darian Weeks (16:01):

Been, but

Sevan Matossian (16:02):

I can’t find it. Darnt

Darian Weeks (16:04):

It. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (16:05):

God, we live in a crazy world. Alex, what’s up dude?

Alex Caceres (16:08):

How’s it going? Can you hear me?

Sevan Matossian (16:09):

Yeah. So good dude. Okay. So

Alex Caceres (16:11):

Good. The whole time. I was like screaming and shit.

Sevan Matossian (16:14):

I heard you say, ow I thought maybe like you stepped on a mouse trap.

Alex Caceres (16:17):

No, my fucking cats and dogs are jumping all over me.

Sevan Matossian (16:20):

Uh, Alex, uh, Darien. Darien, Alex,

Alex Caceres (16:23):

How’s it going? Darien?

Darian Weeks (16:24):

Bruce Leroy. What’s up my man? How you doing?

Alex Caceres (16:26):

Chill. Chill.

Sevan Matossian (16:29):

Hey dude, you’re, you’re interview with, uh, wan was off the hook.

Alex Caceres (16:34):

Oh, thank you.

Sevan Matossian (16:36):

Did you like it?

Alex Caceres (16:37):

Uh, I didn’t get to see it.

Sevan Matossian (16:40):

Hey, uh, what, you know, the first few minutes I would just thought it was gonna be another one of his regular interviews. I don’t, I don’t watch a lot of his interviews, just the guys who are gonna come on the show. Um, but man, you, he, you, after a few minutes, you just took it out to the deep end. I was like, this is some fucking amazing shit. It was so good. You

Alex Caceres (16:57):

Can’t have a regular interview with me. I’m not gonna let it happen. I mean, we’re not gonna talk about fights and, and just basic human minded things, blood and beer, you know, we’re gonna get a little deeper. And then that, you know, I feel like that’s, that’s a, that’s a big thing with the society too. We, we, we touch so much on the surface and we never really try to dig deeper into that. We just see what’s going on on the outside and say, that’s what it is. That’s the enemy. Let’s attack that and let’s do it so effortlessly that we forget about everything else. Right. And there’s layers to it. It’s not black or white. I mean, there’s a bunch of gray areas in between. And we have to really dig into those things to understand what is really going on in any situation or circumstance.

Sevan Matossian (17:37):

Um, you, you opened, well, I mean, it opened with a little bit of dance between you and Ariel, but then when you, you started off this sort of this, uh, this talk by basically saying, and I’m paraphrasing, but I I read a lot of stuff like this and I’m a, i I love metaphors and, and, uh, similes and uh, and analogies. But you basically said that your life was like a rock that was being dropped, just unobstructed, heading towards your fate. Like that’s how clearly, I dunno if you see your life, but that’s how you perceive your basic life. That basically like, hey, there’s a beginning and an end and my life is in a, it’s just a rock dropping. So anything that other people might see as obstacles, Hey dude, it’s just fate. My fate. It actually is a smooth path.

Alex Caceres (18:18):

Yeah. And so the, uh, yeah, to touch base on that thing, like, yeah, like that’s how I feel. It, it is even from a small child is like, I was headed towards a direction and I knew it. Um, even though my ego, my body and what encompasses this earth at the moment, didn’t really know it. But the person, the true self inside of me, deep within me knew that. And it just continuously went in that path. And the direction where most people, their, their minds will play these gymnastics on them. And rather than being like a rock and a pond falling down to the bottom of the pond is their destination, they float to the bottom and it takes ’em forever because they’re acting like a leaf, you know, catching every single current. It’s like, maybe I should do this, or maybe I should do this and maybe I should do this. And they just whisper away, constantly missing the point. It’s like a finger, like Bruce Lee said it perfectly. It’s like a finger pointing at the moon. Don’t focus on the finger cuz you’re gonna miss out on all the heavenly glory. You know, if you’re going towards faith and go towards faith, don’t stop anywhere else. Don’t focus on what you’re doing because you’re not really doing anything. You’re just taking a part of something that’s already happening.

Sevan Matossian (19:24):


Darian Weeks (19:25):

Wait, look at it. I like that. I like that way to look at it. I never thought about, you know, that objective, but the, the strong

Sevan Matossian (19:34):

A Alex, um, and, and you use, um, my words, not yours. You use fear as kind of your true north. And it’s interesting, I heard you say that in that video. And then right after YouTube suggested to me, uh, a Denzel Washington clip that was 10 minutes long where he says, do something you you’re afraid of every single day. And I, I wanna show you really quick before I let you go and, and, and, and tear into that thought, I wanna show you this guy we had on our podcast. He’s only one of five guys who has this job in the world. And, um, his name is, uh, Alex Lando. And this is, and this is what he, I don’t know if you can see it, but he’s an urban climber. There’s only five in the world. He basically climbs skyscrapers, uh oh wow. Sometimes barefoot. And,

Alex Caceres (20:21):

Uh, yeah, see guys <laugh>.

Sevan Matossian (20:23):

And he said, when I asked him, I said, uh, why do you do that? And he said, because I’m afraid to die. And the only place that I stopped thinking about my own death is when I’m climbing that building <laugh>. I’m like, oh shit. So he has to do that to himself to get so focused that he’s not focused on his own death anymore. Oh yeah. I was like, wow, Alex got a little bit of that shit going on. Like, he, he fights to like, to to, to face some sort of fear.

Alex Caceres (20:52):

Well, I mean, um, yeah. We, we like, and that’s the biggest misconception people have is like, when you face your fears, you never get rid of them. Never. You’re just looking it at the face, you know? And then, and then we just call it fear because we don’t, we can’t put a name on it. Well, it’s like he said, where I’m afraid to die, we’re looking death in the face. You know, when you’re looking death in the face, like, and you look long enough, you see yourself there, then you, you stop being scared because now you’re in the moment. Now you know who you’re playing against and you know who you’re playing against. And that adversary being death is at the end of the line. So you have all this time, you’re gonna get there anyway. But what can you do before that? Well, I’m gonna fucking live.


Well, I’m gonna enjoy myself. You know, I’m gonna be the best version of myself that I possibly can be. Um, uh, because we’re not, we’re not gonna escape it. That’s the joy. That’s the beauty thing. Beautiful thing about life, that we’re all completely in it. And the fears will always be there. Facing them. Doesn’t take them away. They’re always gonna be there. And I don’t use it as fuel. I don’t use it as a motivation. No. It scares the shit outta me. Fear is fear, no doubt about it. But what I have to do is just face it. Just just be there in front of it and understand that I am my body. My ego is feeling fear, but my true self does not feel fear. I’m observing it from the outside of my body almost in a third person perspective. Especially when I’m in fights.


I’m like looking at myself from behind or from the side or top down view in a sense. And I know that’s who I am and my body may be scared and everything like that, but once they lock that cage, once I hear that clink of the lock go down into the cage is like, I get kicked out. Like you ever seen, um, what is it, Mr. Dr. Strange. Yeah. You know, when that lady like pushes him out of his body, that’s what it feels like. The minute I hear that clink, it’s like, boom. And I’m like, okay, I’m no longer scared because whatever happens to this body is not happening to me. And no matter what happens, I am still going to be here. Whether I die, whether I live, whether I don’t make it, whether I do make it, I will still remain here.


And it reminds me of an idiom, if you would allow me to say it. It was from a book called, um, dune. And every time there was something fearful going on, he would repeat this to himself. He’s like, I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings upon us total oblation. I must face my fears. I will turn an inner eye and see the path that fear has taken within me and where fear has gone. Nothing will be there. Only I will remain. And this is very true. You know, fear is simply a thought. And when you take it all away, fear, joy, exuberance, excitement, anxiety, only you are there still standing with nothing. You are that nothing, which is everything. You are complete potential.

Sevan Matossian (23:34):

Uh, uh, I’m not gonna lie to you. The, the o the only time that I’ve really, um, experienced that there’s two, two times. One was sober and one was I was on acid. And, uh, I was, I was at the beach and um, my friend and I were hanging out and me and him were on acid, and the other guy wasn’t on acid. And I go, Hey dude, um, I turn to my friend who’s on acid, I go, why is he tripping out when we’re the ones on acid? Why is he fucking freaking out? <laugh>? And then he goes, dude, because he can’t hear us talking. And when my friend said that, me and my buddy who were on acid were like 60 feet above the ground and looking at the two of our bodies. And, and the dude who was freaking out, he wasn’t on acid. And I was like, oh shit, we’re not here. Whatever’s going on between me and this dude who’s on acid. The other dude has no fucking clue. Because I thought we were talking, but we weren’t talking.

Alex Caceres (24:24):

Yeah. And that happened a

Sevan Matossian (24:26):

Lot. Yeah. It was, it was some cra And so, and then, and so I’m guessing that something, uh, um, I’m, I’m guessing that that’s, you, you put yours, what do you remember the first time you experienced that this sort of, uh, that you are not, um, Alex Casas?

Alex Caceres (24:41):

Yeah. Um, uh, I can’t, it, it happened when I was very, very young.

Sevan Matossian (24:48):

Trauma shit. Like really traumatic shit.

Alex Caceres (24:51):

Yeah. Like, like, like, like my first time getting into fights every time I got into a fight, that’s how it was, is like I, I was watching a character act out his role. And that’s who we are. We’re simply characters of the, of, of as characteristic aspects of the supreme personality, which is the true self. And we are just simply at and, and when, and if we understand that, or if we realize that we can take ourselves out of the physical body and observe this character, play this play perfectly, his role perfectly, and we allow it to happen when we try to control our roles, is only when we meet adversity in such a way that it, it, it stunts our growth. You know? So we have to kind of allow ourselves to go through these trials and tribulations and accept them gracefully. Whether they’re, whether they make us sad and these emotions, they’re gonna pass.


They, all of it shall pass. So we have to accept it for what it is, because it, that’s what paints the beautiful picture of the world. It says harmony of so many different, a symphony, should I say, of so many different emotions and so many different, um, experiences that in order to get the full picture, we have to experience a misery in order to experience true joy. We have to experience hate in order to experience true love. And we also have to feel these things ourselves for other people in order to have it reciprocated back to us. So, um, it is, it, it is a beautiful play. It’s like a dance of lights going on all the time, and we just have to embrace it. Like people have their favorite colors, but that doesn’t mean that you dislike all the other colors because one is your favorite. Because without all the other colors, you wouldn’t have the differentiation of what your color was. Right. It would all be the same. So that’s why like, and, and something similar. I know it’s kind of off topic, but that’s why like, I never hate my opponents. I never hate my opponents. I never talk shit about them. I can’t get angry at them. Why? They allow me to express myself in a way that in a normal day-to-day society, it would be looked at as istic, vulgar and, and evil almost. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (26:50):

For this guy for sure.

Alex Caceres (26:51):

The acceptance to show me who I am through pain, through suffering, strife, tears, blood joy, the agony of defeat and the thrill of victory, all of that combined once together, this person is a brother to me, this person is a person that allows me to bleed with him. And this person is also a person that’s not afraid to push me to my fucking limit. And that’s a person that you can appreciate. And there’s a quote that, that explains that not everybody you fight with is your enemy. And not everybody that helps you is your friend.

Darian Weeks (27:18):

Yeah, that’s a good one. That’s, that’s, that’s a, that’s a, that’s a, that’s a, um, I don’t look at it as that same perspective, but I’m in that same way where I never am upset at an opponent or angry at an opponent. I feel like, you know, those guys who sit there and get all tough and that’s, that’s what they just wear their fear right there in front of them. You know what I mean? Like, they just put their fear on though. So their their, their mind and their body’s telling them, oh, we have to react like we’re angry or that we’re tough so that they don’t know that I’m scared. And that’s them just afraid to feel their fear.

Alex Caceres (27:54):

But it’s even Yeah, it’s even deeper than they, they’re, they’re, it’s like they’re telling themselves not to be scared. Yeah. You know, so they put on that persona, like they don’t even believe that they’re scared, but that’s where you fuck up. Yeah. That’s where you fuck up. Because these are natural emotions. That’s like saying like, that’s like saying like, like you think when I fight I don’t get angry. I don’t get frustrated a little bit. I don’t get scared. Of course I get all these emotions. Yeah. What I am doing though, I’m not letting ’em control me. So Yeah. When I hit you, I’m hitting you with a bit of anger and a bit of like Mm. You know, like, I got to that. It’s, it’s an expression of energy. Yeah. It’s not personal though. Same thing. If I’m scared, I am scared. And I will tell you I’m scared.


And I feel like when you face your fear with honesty and people know that, what else can they do to you? Yeah. What else can they do to you? Even if you tell them you’re scared, but you still step there in front of them ready and just with a smile on your face. Because what the opponents refuse to understand is that I’m not scared of you. Scared of I’m scared of death. Yeah. And then when death smiles at me, I can just only smile back and then I embrace him completely and I step into that darkness with the light of God in me.

Sevan Matossian (28:57):

Hmm. Um, uh, what, what about people who experience this, uh, through like crazy trauma? By trauma, I mean like, you got Kayla Harrison, right? She wrote that. Do you know who that is? The female fighter? Yeah. Uh, yeah. So, so, uh, she was on the show, she wrote a book about how she was molested by her judo coach from the age of eight to like 16. Wow. Right? Yeah. And so she would talk about going to this place, you know, when those things were happening. And I don’t know what that place is, but those events were so traumatic that she didn’t have that this outof body experience so much as she would just go to like a field of flowers. Right. And that’s

Alex Caceres (29:33):

A sarva that, well, like in, in yoga they explained it as being sar something like loca sarga locas, like where the, the beautiful place of paradise where you can take your mind to, especially in places of hardships. And it’s like God does that for you. So you don’t, um, hate the world in that sense. So you keep living so you keep trying to strive for survival or thrive of your, yeah.

Sevan Matossian (29:57):

Of your, it sounds like it’s a crazy survival mechanism.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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