#771 – Live Call In | Hooking Up w/ The HR Lady at Work

Sevan Matossian (00:02):

Bam. Or live. Hello? When I was a little girl, my father took me to the circus. I remember it as the first time I realized that all my thoughts were my own. I was wearing my favorite blue dress. I thought, no one knows that this is my favorite dress, but they can probably sense it. I feel different wearing it. When the clowns came out, I thought, in the same way, I am wearing this dress, they are wearing their clown makeup. I wonder what they feel as clowns. Ladies and gentlemen, our perception of ourselves is our choice. Only you can control how you choose to perceive reality. That is fully your story. To write.


Jodi. Hi, Philip. Hi, Christine. Young, high. These fucking people will go out and take ayahuasca. Oh, I’m working on myself. I’m working on my, I’m gonna take ayahuasca. I’m working. It, it, it helps me with my mental health. I’m, I’m working on dick butter. I’m wor I’m working. I’m gonna take Ika and I’m gonna find myself in this journey. Mi me, me, uh, I have an idea for you. Before you take drugs and have a hallucinogenic trip, why don’t you fucking just give away everything you fucking own and start at the top of the Pacific Crest Trail or whatever the, that thing is, and, and just walk it from, uh, Canada to Mexico. And, and don’t bring any money. Just bring a sleeping bag. When’s the last time you saw synchronicity in your life and you saw that the universe is conspiring to help you? And yet, I’m gonna take ayahuasca because I wanna find myself. I wanna tap into the ancient spirits of the Native American culture and find my path and my true self. Me, me, me, me. Yeah. Drugs are a shortcut. And shortcuts are cheap and short lasting. The synchronicity, as I thought of all this in the shower, and I come out here and Trish teed this shit up like a champ.

Mattew Souza (02:24):


Sevan Matossian (02:25):

I was just thinking about it today. I was like, man, so many people want to just, it’s only five days of your life. Just go lay down and die. You have nothing to lose. Just take the journey inward and you know, you can’t do it. You already have four kids. I fucked up someone. Whatever excuses, <laugh>. Then, then, then just do other shit to constantly make yourself uncomfortable and heighten your awareness and start finding the synchronicity in your life. Find the every second of synchronicity and the universe is conspiring to help you in your life. It’s there, man. It’s there. So there, listen, every time you look at your phone, you’re missing the opportunity for getting the message from somewhere else. And I’m, and I’m not against phones. I love my phone. Hold on. I gotta call <laugh>. Uh, um, but there has to be, but there has to be times that you’re like, there doesn’t have to be. But if you don’t wanna be a robot, then, then, uh, get synced up. Get synced up. Make some shit weird for yourself. Like, who is I talking to? Oh, oh, shit. This guy texts me yesterday. I gotta fucking respond to him.

Mattew Souza (03:40):

I forgot.

Sevan Matossian (03:42):

I don’t know if he wants me saying this. He’s a, he’s a, he’s a, a famous guy in our community. I’m just gonna text him back. Hi. So I don’t forget to text him later. <laugh>. Um, and he said he’s doing a no no by, no by January. And I think that’s, I think that’s like where you try not to spend money for a month.

Mattew Souza (04:02):

That’s impossible. You gotta pay rent. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (04:07):

I mean, uh, when I was a little kid, I used to take my finger and push my penis inside myself and then watch it like spring back out.

Mattew Souza (04:14):


Sevan Matossian (04:15):

Some people would say that’s impossible, but it’s totally doable.

Mattew Souza (04:17):

I heard that stunts gross.

Sevan Matossian (04:23):

By the way, all men, uh, for you women who are listening to this, all men did that. That’s like one of the things you do as a little kid. Well, I don’t know, with us boys with foreskins, like we could take our foreskin and just kind of just start playing with it and then just kind of push the whole penis down. And you, I guess it gives you more to hold onto and manipulate.

Mattew Souza (04:41):

But yeah, what

Sevan Matossian (04:44):

A cool thing to find

Mattew Souza (04:46):


Sevan Matossian (04:47):

I wonder if it’s like that for girls. Do they just one day just, do they find their vagina and start playing with it? Like, what is this? What is all this skin down here? Why are there elephant ears down here?

Mattew Souza (04:57):


Sevan Matossian (04:59):

Do I hear from down here? Hello? Talk

Mattew Souza (05:01):

To me. Talk to

Sevan Matossian (05:03):


Mattew Souza (05:03):

It’s an ear <laugh>.

Sevan Matossian (05:05):

Talk to me. Uh, come down here and talk.

Mattew Souza (05:13):

You, you, you,

Sevan Matossian (05:16):

Your kids can’t go to school unless they take these drugs.

Mattew Souza (05:20):


Sevan Matossian (05:20):

Kids can’t go to school

Mattew Souza (05:22):


Sevan Matossian (05:22):

You take these drugs. You have to take them to this building. And there’s a guy in there in a white coat, and he’s gonna inject your kids every two months with drugs. And then if you follow that protocol until they’re 14, we’ll keep letting them go to school. <laugh>.

Mattew Souza (05:38):

That’s a good trade.

Sevan Matossian (05:41):

How was I ever so stupid?


How was I ever? It makes no sense when you just put words to it. You know what my son said to me the other day? This is like one of the crowning achievements of my fucking life when they said this. You’re gonna love the suza. Cuz this is like how I think he said. And I was so proud of him that he thinks like this. I had farted and it stunk so bad. Remember I called you last night and told you I had the worst gas ever. Like, I, like, I I’ve just completely gone off the reservation in the last two g two days. Guys, <laugh>. I mean, I am just, I can’t tell you the shit I’ve been doing. It’s not ayahuasca, but like cookies. And I ate a cookie last night. Fucking crazy one. No need to eat it. I’d eaten a whole bag of cherries already at this point.

Mattew Souza (06:22):

I was, oh my gosh, that’s,

Sevan Matossian (06:23):

Yeah, I forgot all about that. <laugh>. It was probably the cherries. And then I ate this cookie, this giant cookie

Mattew Souza (06:30):


Sevan Matossian (06:30):

And, um, stomach cookie. Anyway, so I, I came home and I stunk

Mattew Souza (06:37):


Sevan Matossian (06:37):

And, and my kids were showering. And I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, and I’m just destroying the bathroom. And my son goes, the air that comes from your butt smells so bad. And I just love the way he said it. The air, the air that comes from your butt. Like air comes from. I guess air does come from my,

Mattew Souza (06:54):

He understands what’s happening. It is air that’s coming for your butt that smell really bad. So bad. I mean, is there, is there a more accurate description? I don’t think so.

Sevan Matossian (07:06):

<laugh>. My, I had told my, I had explained to my kids what a dutch oven is, Dutch oven for you. Those you don’t know. It’s, it’s when you’re in bed with your wife or your girlfriend and you fart and you pull the sheets over her head. Oh

Mattew Souza (07:17):

My God.

Sevan Matossian (07:19):

Or your boyfriend. I sorry. I didn’t mean to

Mattew Souza (07:21):

Be, I don’t know why, but I literally thought you were gonna explain a kitchen appliance to me right now, and you

Sevan Matossian (07:26):

Oh. And so one of my, I told my kids what that was, and uh, one of my kids is like, Hey, can we do a dutch oven? I’m like, no, it’s not like you don’t ask for, like, I didn’t teach it to you. So we were like, we could do one.


This guy at the party last night said something to me. This, I’m really curious what you think about this, Susan. This, this is what a simple 10 I am. But this really kind of unfucked me a little bit. This guy goes, Hey, have you ever thought about writing a book on how you raised your kids? I’m like, on what? And he goes On how you raised your kids? And I, and I stopped and he knew exactly what I was saying. He then said, or what, what I was thinking. He knew he had rocked me. He then said, yeah, you know, not, um, how to raise kids, but how you raised your kids. And soon as he said that I could get my head wrapped, like a lot of people said, Hey, why don’t you write a book or write a pamphlet or a postcard or something. Put some things down on how you’re, how to raise a kid. Uhhuh <affirmative>. And whenever I think about that, I, I, I don’t, I’m not, I don’t find it appealing. Like I get it. Oh yeah. Ah, no. But soon as he worded it as how you raised your kids, that’s pretty cool. Yeah, yeah. Fit. Like it was like, whatever he said, like, that clicked for me.


If a girl does it to a guy, it’s called a French oven. Oh, I wonder if that’s true. Urban dictionary. French oven. Dutch.

Mattew Souza (08:54):

I just wanna know who Trish is. I

Sevan Matossian (08:57):

Just Dutch. Dutch Heaven, <laugh>.

Mattew Souza (09:01):

I know. It’s

Sevan Matossian (09:01):

Gonna ruin it for you. It’s gonna ruin it for

Mattew Souza (09:04):

You. Yeah, you’re right.

Sevan Matossian (09:05):

Let’s, Hey, do you wanna put to, do you wanna put, uh, good morning, Sean, Mr. Sullivan. Kenneth High Savon, uh, uh, about to start a mommy blog. Damn, that hurt. Well, that set me back another year. <laugh>. Aye. Yy.

Mattew Souza (09:21):

We were so close. Actually, it could be a father blog and that’s way more needed now than ever. Huh?

Sevan Matossian (09:26):

Yeah, sure.

Mattew Souza (09:26):

You could take that angle.

Sevan Matossian (09:28):

Uh, French oven, urban, uh, dictionary oven. I was surprised that you didn’t want to get, I I seriously, you’re like one of the, um, early bird people. And yesterday when I told you six 30, I was, I was, when you farred into your girl’s vagina and then close it really quickly and pull a blanket over here,

Mattew Souza (09:49):

What the fuck?

Sevan Matossian (09:50):

Why, how would you, when you a French oven is when you farred into your girl’s vagina, <laugh>, well, at least it’s your girls. And then clo close it real quick and pull a blanket overhead. H that makes no sense.

Mattew Souza (10:07):


Sevan Matossian (10:08):

That makes no sense. Right?

Mattew Souza (10:11):


Sevan Matossian (10:11):

You can’t fart into a vagina, right? I,

Mattew Souza (10:14):

I don’t think so. No.

Sevan Matossian (10:16):

Yeah, that makes no sense. That was stupid. The urban dictionary can be childish.

Mattew Souza (10:21):

<laugh>, right? I am

Sevan Matossian (10:23):

Trish. Uh, Thomas Payne. Uh, yeah. Yeah. I know. Maybe you’re right. You’re in the easy phase right now with your kids. I had this crazy discussion. I had. I’ve had, I had, uh, a really, um, I mean for me, it’s not like it’s deep. This is not deep, but I had this great realization. People will say, don’t force your kids to do stuff. Completely stupidity, dumbest thing ever said. Absolutely. Force your kids to do stuff. So this started with, I was at the skate park and there was a kid there and he’s eight years old. And I hadn’t seen an eight year old kid who was as good of a skater as my kid. Not, I mean, all of course all over Instagram, but not just like at the park or very rarely.


So we were talking and she’s like, Hey man, my kid’s so motivated. My kid asked to come to the skate park every single day. Um, when we’re at home, he’s talking about tricks he wants to try and that he’s gonna practice when he gets to the skate park. And I’m like, oh, that’s such a trip. And she goes, why? I’m like, cuz my kids aren’t like that. She goes, what do you mean? I’m like, I take ’em to play. I take ’em skateboarding, tennis, jiujitsu piano every day. And I never hear them like excited about like, doing it. It’s just like, it’s what we do. I never hear them. It’s just what we do. Just like our, our cycle.

Mattew Souza (11:41):


Sevan Matossian (11:42):

And, uh, I mean, occasionally they’ll be Yeah, I hear them say more often than not, they don’t want to go. Yeah. Like once a week, they’re like, they’re like, oh, it’s too cold for the skate park. Or I don’t want to go, or, or just whatever mm-hmm. <affirmative>, by the way, I never engage in those things ever, ever, ever. I never engage. And um, so I, I just put ’em in the car and we go and, but then I realized, oh shit, it’s completely okay. Here’s the rule about forcing your kids to do stuff. It’s once you force your kid to do something, it’s on you to make sure they succeed. And you can’t, if you force your kid to go to school, it’s very hard to make sure they succeed. And I’ll tell you why.


When I went to school in kindergarten, first, second, and third grade, I was the smartest kid in my school. Smartest kid in my class. Like, I, I just knew I could do everything better than everyone else. My hand was always up first. I always got called. I was like the most polite kid to the teacher. I was adding, subtracting, multiplying. I was doing all that way before all the other kids. The way I could add and subtract in the first grade was like, there were, there were the third graders couldn’t do it. I just, it just stuck. Um, I knew how to listen. I had focus all that shit. Then in the third grade, B, b, so by the time I got to the third or fourth grade, I started getting a little bit like lazy. Like I didn’t know how to do school cuz I had just been coasting. And I’d started getting into a little bit of trouble. Not like bad trouble, but like, I would be like

Mattew Souza (13:15):

Disruptive in class and yeah.

Sevan Matossian (13:17):

Just, yeah. Kraken jokes. Brought eggs to school to throw up cars. Just some shit like that.

Mattew Souza (13:23):


Sevan Matossian (13:25):

You know what I mean? Doing throw doing like a, at recess, like just doing stuff I shouldn’t be doing. Trying to break windows at the school. But the still kids, teachers and everyone still like me. Do you know what I mean? Like, I was, yeah. I was still, and, and I was very polite kid. By the time I got to the fifth grade, I didn’t know what the fuck was going on because all I wanted to do was play with my friends. And I started falling behind in math. By the time I went to the sixth and seventh grade, I completely had no fucking clue what was going on. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> zero. And it, it, it, it, because it happened so slowly. It wasn’t a nightmare, but it was crazy stressful. And every day I would go to school, it would be like, how am I gonna get through today? By, and, and it took me until this, until I was 50 to figure out what I was doing. At the time, I didn’t even know. But it was like, while other kids were like learning and passing the class, I was trying to figure out other ways to get past the class. Could I steal the teacher’s books? Who would I sit by?

Mattew Souza (14:23):

You were game in the system.

Sevan Matossian (14:24):

Yeah. Just figure. Yeah. Any, any, yeah. And no one was like, Hey, don’t do it this way. Let’s just go back two years and get you caught up.

Mattew Souza (14:30):


Sevan Matossian (14:31):

By the time I was in fucking high school, it was like fucking all out war by any means necessary, like kidnap a teacher, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Mattew Souza (14:39):

That’s all you knew at that point.

Sevan Matossian (14:40):

Yeah. We didn’t do that. But you know what I mean? Like, kidnap a teacher duct taper and tell her like, Hey, um, if you don’t gimme an A, I’m gonna fucking, uh, shave all the hair off your dog.

Mattew Souza (14:49):

Yeah. Rather than studying, you’re dedicated your time to breaking into the laptop and changing your score on

Sevan Matossian (14:53):

A hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. And not because I was a bad kid, because the rules were I had to pass.

Mattew Souza (15:01):

Right. <laugh>

Sevan Matossian (15:03):

And I, and I, and I had already been set up for failure, taking the traditional path. Mm-hmm.

Mattew Souza (15:08):


Sevan Matossian (15:10):

So with skateboarding, it’s not like that. With jiujitsu and piano and, uh, tennis, it’s not like that at all. With that, it’s all on me. It’s not on my kids at all. Can I stay 100% disciplined and never give them a fucking cell phone? Can I make sure that I never get lazy and not take them to tennis class? Even if it’s freezing cold? Even if it’s raining even, it’s blah, blah, blah. Will we take, go, I, I have pneumonia and I can’t, I’m afraid

Mattew Souza (15:38):

Of covid. So I, I can’t take them to the skate park because they have the yellow tape around it. <laugh> <laugh>. Oh, my kids are going to get sick. I’m so scared. My kids are going to get sick.

Sevan Matossian (15:52):

Well, stone, you don’t understand. Some parents have to stay home. Well, some keep died in Idaho in 1352 with pneumonia,

Mattew Souza (16:00):


Sevan Matossian (16:00):

None of that comes in. None of that shit comes in. What year was third grade for you? Uh,


I was just a nor I was just a, oh, I was born in 72, so 80, I guess 1980. Um, so I just realized, oh shit. Because when, when you put your kids in things and you’re, and you’re disciplined as a parent and you, and you keep them to it and you make sure that they do it, um, then, uh, then it’s on me. And they’re eventually gonna succeed. Like, you don’t ever, ever skateboard better than you really are. You’re never put into a situation a skateboard better than you really are. Because if you are, if you do, you know what happens?

Mattew Souza (16:45):

Yeah. Shit.

Sevan Matossian (16:46):

Yeah. You crash, right? Yeah. Thank you. Thank you Mr. And so it doesn’t, it doesn’t happen. Everyone’s like, like, I mean, it happens, but you know what I mean. It’s not it’s not like you, you, you, you then have a choice. That’s where you stop and keep and start working on something. You don’t move on to fucking algebra. If you can’t do eight plus seven perfectly, you’re not doing a kick flip until you fucking Ali. You are, you will, you will never, um, uh, advance in jujitsu until you’ve uh, well, I mean, your teacher could lie to you.

Mattew Souza (17:23):

Yeah. But the mats don’t lie. So it doesn’t matter. Your opponent will show you where you are.

Sevan Matossian (17:26):

Yeah. You, you know, when you’re a little kid, you think, um,


It, it’s kind of crazy. Uh, you, you think things like, you hear like, oh, if you, if you have, if you’re a black belt, you have to fight everyone in the class and win. And so like, your brain starts running ahead and you’re like, God, they must have to set up these fights. No. That environment, if you go every day for fucking 16 years and you eventually get your black belt, you either have a shitty teacher or Yes. You can beat everyone up on the mat. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And you know it and they know it. And that’s what’s happened over the 16 years. And they’re on the mat.

Mattew Souza (17:57):

There is, there’s one way to try to try to screw it in jiu-jitsu though. A lot of times. What’s that? The guys will pivot and then you could see that this is exactly what people do in their minds when they come up and gets that challenge. Like, you’ll catch a higher belt and a move. Yeah. And then right as they catch you, rather than them trying to escape it, they’ll be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. They’ll keep rotating to your right and then lock it

Sevan Matossian (18:16):

In. Oh. Oh.

Mattew Souza (18:16):

Like there their pike, they’re like, I let you get it. You know? Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (18:20):

Yeah. Really? You see that shit <laugh>?

Mattew Souza (18:22):

Oh yeah. That’s dirty. Yeah, that’s happened to me.

Sevan Matossian (18:26):

That’s dirty.

Mattew Souza (18:27):

No one wants to get tapped out by the white belt who’s been a white belt for three years cuz he only shows up once a month.

Sevan Matossian (18:32):

All you, all you parents out there who have kids who are in jiu-jitsu, but by the way, I just did this the other day. Fucking, I think I’m brilliant for it. Uh, go show them um, Nicki Rodriguez videos as a blue belt. Cuz my kids sometimes will get caught up on belts and I’ll be like, oh, let’s watch some blue belt videos and watch this. He just destroys all the black belts. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So, you know, the belts don’t mean shit. I mean, they mean something. But, um,

Mattew Souza (18:54):

Especially that nogi stuff. Cuz in a lot of places there is no belt. Like when you’re on the mat floor, you know, like you go to that plan B and and wherever it is, Austin, Texas, they’re not in geen in belt.

Sevan Matossian (19:05):


Mattew Souza (19:05):

So there’s not a differentiator. It’s just the mat. It’s just the time on the mat.

Sevan Matossian (19:09):

Hey. Um, so recently I was thinking I’m gonna get into Jiujitsu. Um, and also recently, my kid, my kids are now old enough, Avi’s old enough, and my other boys are old enough to where we, we wrestle a lot now. Like I wrestle with them every day. And it, it’s, there’s no fucking way I’m doing jiujitsu. I get hurt every fucking day rolling with my kids. Like after wrestling with them for 30 fucking minutes. Like, I always stand up and I’m like, fuck my back hurts or my hips hurt, or I’m like, no, I’m not doing that.

Mattew Souza (19:38):

<laugh>, are you doing a proper warmup?

Sevan Matossian (19:41):

I don’t know. I’m a little, I don’t, I’m, yeah, I, yeah, there’s, I mean, dude, they weigh 50 pounds. I should just be able to just,

Mattew Souza (19:47):

It doesn’t matter. You’re still moving your body in ways that you’re not normally,

Sevan Matossian (19:50):

I guess. You’re right. You’re right. No, my knees are great. My knees and my dick are fucking amazing. Special.

Mattew Souza (19:56):

So I do have a question about what you were just saying earlier about the school stuff. I know you were just, you’re using that as like, to, to relate the two things. But what was it like for you in high school as you finished up? Did you ever like kind of get your, get it together in high school? Or did you just

Sevan Matossian (20:08):

No it right

Mattew Souza (20:09):

Until you knock out that door? No,

Sevan Matossian (20:11):

Bro. It was, it was it be, it became horrible. In hindsight, I lived under so much stress.

Mattew Souza (20:16):

Yeah, me too.

Sevan Matossian (20:17):

That’s crazy. I lived under so much fucking stress. It was completely unnecessary.

Mattew Souza (20:23):

And you graduated at the height of like, if you didn’t go to college, you were just a dumb fucking threw away your life.

Sevan Matossian (20:28):

Yes. Yes.

Mattew Souza (20:29):

Like I was at the teeter point where people were like, well, there are other options. Like, for you there was like, it was like, oh, so you’re choosing to be a loser. Cool. I

Sevan Matossian (20:37):

Cheated every day. Cheated. I put that in quotes, but it wasn’t cheating. Now in hindsight, I realized it wasn’t cheating. It’s like saying, um, it, it wasn’t cheating. It was fucking survival. I was a survival. I mean, I guess I gained other skills from it.

Mattew Souza (20:57):

Better skills.

Sevan Matossian (20:58):

Yeah. But, uh, in my opinion, it wasn’t, um, yeah, I had to, I had to do ev I did ev every single day at school. I did something that that was, uh, I could have been suspended for, expelled for, or Yeah. And you know, it com complete bullshit. It’s just such, it’s such comp and, and you know what, be, because my parents were workaholics and they were both great parents, my mom and dad. But if you don’t raise your kids like you, you, you’re just not gonna see that shit. I’ve never tested my testosterone. I, I wouldn’t, I would never, I I don’t do any of that stuff. I don’t believe in any of that stuff really.

Mattew Souza (21:41):


Sevan Matossian (21:43):

I’m so healthy and so happy and so energized. And so I, I I I I don’t ever like, I I don’t care. I don’t do any of that stuff. By the way, if you do wanna get your blood work done, you want to get all, ooh, get those testosterone levels up,

Mattew Souza (22:03):


Sevan Matossian (22:08):

Uh, go to ca hormones.com


For your free consultation with the doctor. And if you live in California, especially in Southern California, you can contact them and you can get free blood work. They have really cool labs. They’re really cool people. And, uh, you can get your, uh, levels checked and, and, and, and start on that journey. And obviously as you guys, most of you know, you can go over to Andrew Hiller’s YouTube page, Hiller Fit, and he has a, uh, episode called Testosterone Tuesdays. What a brilliant idea. How’d you come up with that, Andrew? And, uh, you, and, and he takes you on the journey. It’s really fucking cool. He’ll talk to you about it and he’s easy to get in touch with and talk to you about it. So I, I don’t know any of that stuff. I don’t know, like my blood levels, I don’t know.

Mattew Souza (22:55):

I tried, but I got, I wished out <laugh>. I

Sevan Matossian (22:58):

I’ve had athletes. I’ve had some, like, some weird like scaling skin peeling on my foot since I’ve been like five years old. And that’s like the only thing wrong with me. Other than that I’m kind of a perfect human being. Well, not that it’s not perfect and, and like hair between like the back of my tricep now to my neck is starting to connect. Not bushy

Mattew Souza (23:19):


Sevan Matossian (23:19):

But like, it, it, it wants to be one giant back piece. Like, like I, people think I’m a hairy guy. I’m not

Mattew Souza (23:27):


Sevan Matossian (23:27):

Look at that thing guys. Look at that fucking thing. You guys

Mattew Souza (23:31):


Sevan Matossian (23:31):

I’m just a scraw little bitch, but I ain’t, but I have this tough of hair that goes from like my tricep up my shoulder and now it’s connecting to my neck. It’s coming. It’ll get you su give it 15 years

Mattew Souza (23:42):


Sevan Matossian (23:44):

Um, so

Mattew Souza (23:48):

Yeah. And it’s not that I didn’t wanna know my tea levels. It’s that I, I literally like had an issue with the blood and the needles.

Sevan Matossian (23:54):

<laugh> tell ’em su tell him

Mattew Souza (23:56):

I was just filming Andrew getting hises and we were hanging out at the, uh, ca hormones lab. And I, I don’t know, all of a sudden I got super woozy and I kept trying to like push it down. I was like, just don’t entertain those thoughts.

Sevan Matossian (24:08):

Hey, do you know? Oh, do you know it’s happening when it’s happening? Like, you know, when you walk on stage to talk in front of people, you’re like, oh shit, I’m getting nervous. And you’re like, why? You can’t, even though you’re not, you’re not nervous. Your body’s getting nervous and you’re like, dude, what are you doing? Chill. Yeah. But you just can’t. Is it like that?

Mattew Souza (24:23):

That’s exactly what it was. And then the more I tried to not <laugh> think about it, the more I thought about it and then I was like, okay, well I’m just gonna film it, not look. And then by the time I turned away, it just, it was too late that this, I was going down the spiral and then all of a sudden I just had a physical reaction to it. Like the color completely trained outta my face. And I was like, feeling super woozy, <laugh>. You’re laughing at myself a little bit. Cuz I wasn’t expecting that to happen.

Sevan Matossian (24:48):

I love the idea of like, sh I love the idea of getting all juiced up and needles and I’d snort, I’d snort a line and <laugh> smoke

Mattew Souza (24:56):

And <laugh>

Sevan Matossian (24:57):

All, all the stuff around bad around, I don’t even, I guess it’s, I shouldn’t mix it with snorting lines, but all the stuff. There’s so much stuff I wanna do. I just don’t, I just,

Mattew Souza (25:08):

It’s not a good long-term thing for you or I I, yeah, obviously, obviously snorting drugs is what I was referring to there. But like,

Sevan Matossian (25:17):

Uh, you know, I was also thinking the other day, I was thinking like, I, I feel like a couple days ago I got on my high horse about like, uh, cheating on your wife and how do is, but like, shut the fuck up. Savon. Like nowhere in my life is, they’re like just pussy throwing itself at me.

Mattew Souza (25:33):


Sevan Matossian (25:34):

I talk to 10 moms at the fucking skate park every day. And not one of ’em has ever given me a hint that they find me attractive or like, like, like shut. Like I, like anytime I get on my high horse about that, you guys tell me shut up. Like, no. Like, I, I don’t live in a world of temptation. It’s like saying I never eat candy, but I live on the moon. Like, yeah, of course you don’t eat candy, you jackass. You live on the moon.

Mattew Souza (25:55):


Sevan Matossian (25:56):

Like, so I, I I, I just, just thinking about that, it’s not like Tiger Woods and there’s just bitches lined up outside my house. <laugh>. Like, it’s not like that. And I live in San and it’s, I don’t think I do. I, anyway, I I should not be on my high horse with that. <laugh>. Thank you. Thank you Kenneth. That’s cool. One of my friends in college said, dude, if I was gay, you would be the last fucking person I’d want to fuck. I’m like,

Mattew Souza (26:22):

Thanks. That’s

Sevan Matossian (26:22):

Not nice. No. Uh, no. That wasn’t nice. What’s up Caleb?

Mattew Souza (26:25):

Morning Caleb.

Sevan Matossian (26:26):

Hey, how’s it going guys? Good. What should I have not just brought you in <laugh> a little aggressive. I’m gonna let him bring himself. Yeah,

Mattew Souza (26:34):

Yeah, yeah. When he’s ready. When he’s ready. Yeah. Don’t you force it?

Sevan Matossian (26:39):

I, uh, I I see Josh as completely abandoned. Sev wonder if he’ll bring in barnacle Bailey as retaliation. Josh has completely ab just talked to Josh two days ago,

Mattew Souza (26:50):

Three days Agot just says shit like that. But like talking, just fired up, you

Sevan Matossian (26:53):

Know. Well it worked. Dip shit. <laugh>. Hey dude, everyone wants to come on the show. Don’t get it twisted. It’s what I realized. And the people who aren’t don’t want to come on the show. Like they’re so fucking scared. For some reason they start calling me and texting me and wanna stay friends with me. Like, don’t worry, I’m not gonna like flip out on you

Mattew Souza (27:11):


Sevan Matossian (27:12):

Yeah, no.

Mattew Souza (27:13):

You gotta keep that level of fear. And

Sevan Matossian (27:15):

I, I say this with all love and humility. Yes. She, hey. Yes she does.


I talk. Oh yes, she, oh yes she does. They all wanna come on. I, it’s hard for me to realize that I tell you guys this now, um, later on Su will have to talk me off the fence cuz he has to deal with the insecure savon who’s always like, yeah, I don’t know if this show’s gonna make it, people don’t like me. But when I’m on this show, it’s like, I’m, I’m telling you, oh, please. Oh, please. Oh, please. They all, everyone wants to come on. Don’t fucking get it twisted. Especially those ones who say they don’t, or that they even think that they’re bold enough to attack. Yeah.

Mattew Souza (28:01):

They can’t attack.

Sevan Matossian (28:03):

And when I mean all, I mean all of them. All of them. I, I, I know, don’t forget I lost the war with my dms guys, by the way. I forgot to tell you that last week. I lost You just

Mattew Souza (28:15):

Gave up. You

Sevan Matossian (28:16):

Just gave up. I, I haven’t cleared my dms and I just can’t Oh, it’s, it’s just hundreds a day that long. Yeah, it’s hundreds a day now. I just can’t, I I, but I’m trying, I want you to know I haven’t given up. Yeah. But it’s bad. I’ve ne I used to never go to sleep with a dm. Now there’s hundreds. Yeah. I think, uh, call her. Hi, Ms. Lynn. Hi.

Ms. Lynn (28:35):

Hey, how are you guys?

Sevan Matossian (28:36):

Good morning on fire.

Mattew Souza (28:37):


Ms. Lynn (28:39):

Great show so far.

Sevan Matossian (28:40):

Thank you.

Ms. Lynn (28:42):

I just wanna tell you Guap coverage as usual. Great.

Sevan Matossian (28:46):

Thank you.

Ms. Lynn (28:48):

Yeah, everything was great. I, I still have a couple shows to catch up on, but thank you so much, uh, Suza for being out there.

Mattew Souza (28:56):

Oh, my

Sevan Matossian (28:56):

Pleasure. Would’ve never Yeah, that was, that’s always the, um, isn’t it weird that, I

Ms. Lynn (29:02):

Mean, the hard the the, the really hard part was Suza and Heidi on the ground.

Sevan Matossian (29:07):

Yeah. Ho ho ho. And that’s the highlight too. That’s where you see the stuff that no one else gets to see when they’re at home. And we’ll do the same thing at the CrossFit games this year, but, well, I think we will. But isn’t it weird that like, they don’t do, like, other people don’t do that. Like, if I’m a venue, like if I’m a venue, I have like a, um, corral cam with a good mic on it and I’m just streaming to another channel where you can see what’s going on in the corral. Dude, that would be a huge channel.

Mattew Souza (29:32):

Yeah. Even if he’s just, I

Ms. Lynn (29:33):

Can’t believe more. I I can’t believe like Waap Loud and live or even CrossFit game doesn’t do that.

Sevan Matossian (29:39):

Yeah. Well at least, at least huge props to Waza for letting Suza do it. The games won’t let Oh yeah. Anything, uh, like that happen because they’re so fucking scared. Well, and shortsighted

Ms. Lynn (29:52):

Short cross Inta was using all kinds of waza material this weekend. I is.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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