#722 – Rod Richard | The Finest of Fathers

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Sevan Matossian (00:00):

Uh, the bam we’re live. Uh, the episode I noticed yesterday, the episode from December 24th in the morning. Do you remember? At the very end, I’m like, okay, let’s do one more thing. And we showed that footage of the you that you could barely tell, but it was two guys fighting. Someone was filming it outside their car. It was an old man defending himself.

Caleb Beaver (00:21):

Right.

Sevan Matossian (00:23):

Dude, last night after the show with I was telling Hillary about it, I was like, Hey, do you think someone reported me? He said, for sure, but LA you can go on YouTube and type in like, fights and see fights that are a thousand times more graphic than the fight we showed.

Caleb Beaver (00:39):

We were talking about, um, there’s a, a square in the area. I think it’s like, it’s not in the country that we’re in, but in someplace people get deployed to and there’s like, oh, it’s called, they had some name for it. Come to find out they do like public executions there.

Sevan Matossian (01:00):

Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

Caleb Beaver (01:01):

Like, you can pull that stuff up on YouTube and like, current day stuff. And I was like, how is that stuff not getting pulled down off YouTube, but you’re gonna get flagged on a show that’s significantly less, uh, dramatic, I

Sevan Matossian (01:17):

Guess. And, and it’s, it’s crazy. It’s crazy that basically it’s like gustapo shit. Basically. People can just report you like, Hey, the, the Jews live there.

Caleb Beaver (01:32):

Yeah. It’s bizarre.

Sevan Matossian (01:34):

Man. Man, man, man. Uh, chase, Brian. Morning Savages. Back to working in the snow. What do you do in the snow? Oh God, that’s cold. God, that sounds cold for all the people working outside now, man. I, I think it’s cold. I wonder how cold it is in, at my house right now. I went to the beach yesterday, 48. Oh, it’s gonna rain today. I wonder what time that’s gonna happen. I wanna take to the boys to the skate park today for sure.

Caleb Beaver (02:11):

It’s been raining all day here.

Sevan Matossian (02:13):

It has. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> is is that normal for where you’re at?

Caleb Beaver (02:17):

I think in the winter. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (02:21):

Yeah. It says it’s gonna rain here all the way to all, all week. Oh, that’s awesome. We can always use the rain in California. Always, always, always let it rain, baby. I’m so excited about this show.

Caleb Beaver (02:37):

Me too.

Sevan Matossian (02:39):

You don’t even have any kids yet

Caleb Beaver (02:42):

<laugh>

Sevan Matossian (02:42):

Yet. Uh, here we go. Rod. Rod. Good morning, brother. Good morning. How are you? I, I was just so excited about, uh, technology. I’m always like, like poo-pooing technology and talking about how dumb some, some of the technology we have is. And then this morning, I’m, I was like, wow, this random dude who, uh, that I’ve never met before meets another random dude that’s me. And we can just reach out to each other. I can reach out to you on a social media platform and just be like, Hey, can I meet you? And you’re like, yeah,

Rod Richard (03:18):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That it’s, it’s amazing how it, uh, how it connects everybody. Right.

Sevan Matossian (03:23):

Uh, it’s so cool. It’s a, like you and I w what, what, what state are you in?

Rod Richard (03:28):

I’m in California. I’m in California.

Sevan Matossian (03:29):

Where in California?

Rod Richard (03:31):

Uh, San Bernardino, so Southern California.

Sevan Matossian (03:33):

Okay. I’m in Santa Cruz, so I’m, you know, 300 miles north of you.

Rod Richard (03:37):

<laugh>. Yeah. I’ve, I’ve been, I’m, I’m from, uh, I’m from the Bay Area actually, so, uh, I’ve been to Santa Cruz quite a few times.

Sevan Matossian (03:43):

Where were you born?

Rod Richard (03:45):

Richmond. Oh, I was born in Oakland, raised in Richmond

Sevan Matossian (03:47):

At the Children’s Hospital in Oakland?

Rod Richard (03:49):

No, Kaiser.

Sevan Matossian (03:50):

Oh, okay. I was born at the Children’s Hospital. Crazy.

Rod Richard (03:53):

Yeah, yeah,

Sevan Matossian (03:54):

Yeah. In Oakland. Wow. And then, and then did you grow up in Richmond?

Rod Richard (03:59):

Yeah, I was in, uh, I grew up in Richmond till, uh, probably the 10th grade in high school. And then I moved to Antioch, uh, for a couple years before I went to college.

Sevan Matossian (04:08):

Wow. Did you go to Antioch High?

Rod Richard (04:11):

No, I went to Deer Valley. It was brand new when I, uh, when I got there.

Sevan Matossian (04:15):

And, uh, and, uh, in, uh, Richmond. What school did you go to?

Rod Richard (04:19):

DeAnza High School.

Sevan Matossian (04:21):

Wow. Holy shit. I had, so I, um, my parents, uh, I was born in Oakland, and then I lived in El Cerrito.

Rod Richard (04:29):

Okay.

Sevan Matossian (04:30):

And then, uh, when my parents divorced, I ended up moving to Pacheco. Do you know where that is?

Rod Richard (04:34):

Yes,

Sevan Matossian (04:34):

Yes. Right next to Martinez.

Rod Richard (04:36):

Yep.

Sevan Matossian (04:37):

Yeah. Crazy. Um, f fascinating Richmond. Uh, it was kind, it was kinda interesting. And then, and then when I was 16, my mom kicked me outta the house and my dad moved, my dad owned these two fourplexes on San Pablo. Okay. He got them like on foreclosure, you know, where the rent was, like $25 a month to living in an apartment there on San Pablo. This is like in the eighties. And they were crazy. I’m 50. How old are you?

Rod Richard (05:03):

I’m 39.

Sevan Matossian (05:04):

39. I don’t, I don’t know if you remember, but San Pablo, I mean, Richmond was definitely pretty nuts, but, uh, when I moved into this neighborhood on San Pablo, it was, it was like, uh, it was like a seventies movie. Like there were the dudes with the Fedoras and the Feather and the two Rottweilers, and he would have the line of the prostitutes up on San Pablo. It was, it was wild

Rod Richard (05:26):

Shit. That is, that is San Pablo. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (05:29):

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was, it was crazy.

Rod Richard (05:31):

<laugh> San Pablo and Richmond, and then, uh, MacArthur in Oakland. That is definitely what you would’ve saw, uh, around that time, for sure.

Sevan Matossian (05:38):

Yeah, I watched that, I watched that whole neighborhood there. Um, change when my, when I, when I moved into that neighborhood, it was completely, completely different than 15 or 20 years after, uh, they, they put in fourth Street down there that, you know, have you seen that? No. Fourth Street where the Apple Store is and in Berkeley. Oh, it’s crazy. All that shit back there. What? They did it, it’s pretty cool. They, it’s it’s pretty cool. Yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s pretty darn cool. I guess some people would consider gentrification and, and I know that has a, a negative term, but, um, the neighborhood definitely got significantly safer. It was freaky for a while.

Rod Richard (06:18):

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was, when I was coming up in Richmond, it was, it was bad for sure.

Sevan Matossian (06:24):

Yeah. It was like Richmond and Oakland. I mean, obviously there were a lot of cities that can claim this, but it was like Richmond and Oakland were like these murder capitals of the country. Yeah. Yeah. And then wedge right between ’em was, do you know, Berkeley home of the educated Jew, you know? And it was like, wow. It’s

Rod Richard (06:40):

Crazy. Yeah. It was a, it was an interesting little sandwich, right?

Sevan Matossian (06:44):

Yeah, for sure. And, and fascinating to me growing up. So then I would always commute over the hill to College Park. That was the school across from D V C. That was the high school over there.

Rod Richard (06:53):

Yep. I, yep. I went to, uh, I went to D V C for, uh, for, uh, football, and then I transferred from there. So, yeah, no kidding. I had some friends I played at College Park. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sevan Matossian (07:04):

Wow. What a small world. Yeah, that’s, I, I did, uh, I did, uh, a year and a half at D V C, and then I went to, um, and then I did another seven years of undergrad <laugh> at u at U c Santa Barbara <laugh>, if that’s what you want to call it. Uh, this is Caleb. Uh, Caleb runs the backend occasionally. He talks, uh, Caleb, uh, is in the, uh, US military. He’s deployed overseas in an undisclosed location.

Rod Richard (07:32):

All right. All right, Caleb.

Sevan Matossian (07:35):

And, and, and hopefully after this conversation, Caleb will wanna have kids. We won’t, we won’t have scared ’em.

Rod Richard (07:41):

I hope not. I hope not. <laugh>.

Sevan Matossian (07:46):

Um, thank you for your, for your contribution. I think that, um, the, the, I think the, the number one thing that’s, um, bad for kids in the world is, uh, being born. But that’s something that, you know, the leading cause of death of children is, is the fact that they’re born. It’s the leading cause of death for all people, as a matter of fact. And then, and then of course, uh, after that, I think that the single greatest thing you can do for a child, if you wanna reduce their chance of heart disease, going to jail, being obese, uh, you name it, after that, uh, the number one thing you can do to them is give them, uh, two healthy parents. I think it’s the common denominator that fixes almost all problems. And, and I think you’re making a massive contribution. And I think you’ve taken on probably one of the most noble, uh, endeavors, uh, in society today by, uh, you know, doing your part to give parents the tools to stay together.

Rod Richard (08:43):

Yeah, man, it’s, it’s, it’s amazing how, how staggering the, I guess the statistics are with versus like a, a single parent home versus a a two-parent home, right? Especially when that, that second parent is the father, right? When, when the fathers are involved in a child’s life, um, they just, and I, and I try to do this without, like, singling out single mothers, because when I, when I say something, when I post something, immediately, it hits a vein and I understand it. I, I grew up with a single mother for a large portion of my life. Um, and I understand the pride that she took in being able to raise me and, and, you know, through all the odds and all the different things that she had to go up against in her own life. Um, but being able to, to give me the tools and, and provide for me, and I understand the pride in that, but the reality is, is if a child doesn’t have their father, um, they just don’t do as well as a child with a father, even if that father isn’t great, right? Just the presence of, of a male figure, um, that is related to them, that they can see themselves in, that they hold value, uh, with, uh, just, it just changes their, their life dramatically. Uh, I mean, we’re talking, uh, education, um, like you said, obesity, we’re talking prison time, um, self-esteem. There’s so many different things that, that, you know, just having a present and available father, uh, changes for a child.

Sevan Matossian (10:12):

Yeah. That is the interesting thing, right? Like, it, it really isn’t something, um, I got it here in my notes. H how, how do we talk about this without making it seem like it, there’s some duality. Like the point is, isn’t, uh, a dig at mothers at all? 0, 0, 0, 0, 0. Dig at mothers. A matter of fact, it, it’s kind of interesting. I I wanna play this clip. It, like, for me personally, in my mind, I think if you could only, like, I think every boy needs a mom. Like, like, you really need your mommy. Like, you gotta have someone who nurtures you and, and gives you that unconditional, uh, love that mom gives you. But I, but I wanna play this clip. It’s at the very top. I played it a couple shows ago. It’s from your Instagram account, and it, it really blew me away because I, the end of this clip, I had never heard this, uh, this part, uh, before.

(11:02):

Here we go. And this, by the way, this is, uh, from, uh, rod Richards, uh, Instagram account of forfeit, uh, fatherhood. Uh, anyone, just follow it. Even if you don’t have kids, you should follow it because it will give you perspective on society. So when there’s other things that you think might be the problem, like gun laws, um, diet A, all of these other things that people are trying to fix, these are just, uh, symptoms and they’re, you’re not addressing the issue. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And, and when you address symptoms, what you do is you often exacerbate the problem. Okay, action.

Speaker 4 (11:38):

The home have lower self-esteem. Okay, fine, that sucks. But also, women with low self-esteem are more, are more promiscuous. No father families mo more likely to be victims of abuse, especially with single mothers. The more opportunities a child has to interact with biological father, the less likely they are to commit a crime or have contact with a juvenile justice system. Okay? Another way to say that is men and women who are incarcerated, the population of the prisons mostly encompass fatherless homes. Now, here’s something that no one else has mentioned, which I think is cool, and I, I don’t really say this eloquently. If a man and wife raise a child, they’re less likely to end up in jail, but they have the same statistical chance as children raised by just their father. So if we wanna keep

Sevan Matossian (12:25):

Children, that’s crazy adult. I, I, I had actually never h I had never heard that. Have you ever heard that anywhere else, or have you dug into that?

Rod Richard (12:34):

I, I haven’t, I haven’t heard that anywhere else. Um, and I’m, I’m definitely going to dive into it, uh, because you know, a lot of times you see stuff on social media and it’s like, all right, that sounds, that sounds accurate, and it fits the, the mold that I’m trying to go in. But, but let’s make sure that that’s accurate. Um, I can say though, and from my, my own experience, there is a level of, I would say, discipline that comes from the father, um, that, that is just kind of natural, um, that I think children who are raised by single mothers don’t get. I know when my mom, when my mom, when my dad was out of our lives for that period of time where he was gone, um, there was definitely a wild west feel, you know? It was like, I knew that I, I didn’t wanna disappoint my mom. Yes.

Sevan Matossian (13:26):

But

Rod Richard (13:26):

At the same, at the same time, it was like, well, she don’t know <laugh>. You know what I mean? It wasn’t even like, then when my dad came back around, it was just even that little bit of a thought, like, Ooh, what if my dad finds out? It’s just that little bit just made me stop in my tracks before I did something. Um, and so that’s why I think you get that, especially where she’s talking about the jail situation is, is a lot of, a lot of children see their father as an authority figure already, so they don’t test the authority figure levels. You know, like if you don’t see your mom as authority figure, and you see her just as loving, then you go and test another authority figure, right? Like, I think, I think as, as, as fathers, we, we kind of experience that our kids will kind of test us a little bit, see how far they can push. But if there’s no one in the house that is testable, well then you test somebody outside the house. Um, and then if nobody kind of curtails that early, then you end up with more problems and you start testing bigger authority figures.

Sevan Matossian (14:27):

You, you bring up a good point. Yeah. That was my relationship with my mom. There was only one thing that I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to disappoint her.

Rod Richard (14:34):

Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (14:35):

But my dad, my dad, who I saw on the, we on the weekends, and I think maybe how my, my kids feel about me is, is like, there’s a little bit of fear, little, little bit of healthy fear. Like, like, I’ll just pick you up and move you <laugh>, you know, <laugh>, you have way, please get in the car. Uh, you didn’t get in the car and, and I’m taking action on you. Like, you’re gonna end up doing burpees right away, or you’re, or I’m moving you.

Rod Richard (14:58):

Yeah. And, and I think you, I think that what you said there is that healthy, healthy bit of fear, right? Yeah. It’s, is because I don’t think you feel like, as a kid, you don’t feel like your dad’s gonna hurt you and Right. I mean, and there, there are obviously those situations as well, but you don’t feel like he’s gonna hurt you, but you do understand that he has a more powerful position than you. And I think that’s automatically understood, um, that there’s a hierarchy. And you don’t start challenging that until you get, you know, quite a bit older until you start to feel like you’re a man. Um, and so as a child, if you don’t, if you’re, if you’re in a, in a household and there’s no hierarchy where your mom is just loving on you no matter what, she’s giving you unconditional love while you appreciate it, it kind of puts you on level with her at times, right? Because she’s giving you the same amount of respect and yes. Love and adoration that you’re giving her. So it puts you on the same level. And then you’re like, okay, well, well, I’m the man of the house. I’m gonna do what I do. You know? And that, that kind of causes, causes issue, uh, maybe more than it should, especially, um, you know, when it’s just mom,

Sevan Matossian (16:05):

It, it, I like how you use that word, uh, respect, because my mom and my s and my wife are always reminding me that, Hey, make sure that no matter how you treat your kids, don’t ever disrespect them. Like, don’t, don’t disrespect your kids. And so I can see that that’s like an important thing to them. You’re right. And the kids do see, they do get, kind of get on that level with their mom. I’m more of the bulldozer that moves them around. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and their, and their mom is more, I don’t wanna say they’re equal, but they, they have that, uh, connection with them. Yeah. And I think I’ll eventually have that connection with them too, but it’s now is not the time. Now I’m dad.

Rod Richard (16:42):

Right, right. Yeah. And you can’t, you can have that, but, but it, it’s, it’s not a constant feel of that. Right? Like, I definitely, and my wife does the same thing. I definitely try to make sure that I’m respectful of my children and they’re, they’re, they’re humans, right? They’re people just like I am. Um, and they, they live in my household, so I definitely want to give them the respect that they deserve. Um, but I, but I feel like sometimes she’s giving them respect they haven’t earned necessarily. Um, and then there’s, there’s a lesson that they have to learn to get that level of respect, right? And they’re, there’s, they’re gonna continue to gain respect and grow, but I don’t want to give them, um, credit for something they haven’t done yet. And I think that’s the difference is that she’s, she’s willing to, to, she’s gonna give ’em everything no matter what.

Sevan Matossian (17:34):

Yes.

Rod Richard (17:34):

I, I wanna make ’em earn it. Yeah. And <laugh>, and that’s where we kind of sometimes butt heads. It’s like, I, yeah, they don’t, they didn’t do anything to get that, right? Like, they, they’re great kids. They do good in school. They don’t cause us any troubles. And so in, in that regard, you definitely want to give them everything you wanna pour into them, but at the same time, that’s kind of what they’re supposed to do. That’s their role in the house right now, is to be good students, <laugh>, and, you know what I mean, clean your room. That’s like your normal, that’s what you’re supposed to do. I, I don’t want to give you brownie points for doing the job you’re supposed to do. I will congratulate you and pat you on the back a little bit, but hey, I need you to go do something else.

Sevan Matossian (18:13):

Um, my wife and I were, uh, together for 15 years. We were never, we were never gonna, we never planned on getting married. We told each other, we didn’t believe in marriage. We didn’t believe in having kids. There wasn’t something we were gonna do. And then when she was 39 and I was 43, um, she saw another woman breastfeeding, and she’s like, Hey, I want to try that. I was like, all right. And so, you know, stop using contraception, and boom, she’s pregnant. And then two years later, she’s pregnant again with twins. And, uh, I, I, I think, you know, for ease of the story, I don’t think we had fought in five years. You know, we, we were great fighters for the first 10 years, and then we just figured it out, right? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, the, they were having the same fights over and over.

(18:53):

So you figure it out, you have some heart to hearts, then we have kids, and it’s like, what you said, all of a sudden she’s the nurturer and I’m the lion that sits around at the top. It’s just like, you know, constantly looking for danger. And, and, uh, we started fighting again. And every single one of our, not, not in a bad way, but, and it’s important for your kids to see you fight and important for them to see you make up. But all of our, all of our, any tension in my relationship with my wife now is around raising the kids, right? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And it’s around nuanced stuff about am I being too aggressive? Am I not respecting them? Am I? And it’s interesting, you know, and, and it’s a give and take, right? Sometimes she realizes, she overstepped her bounds on nurturing them, you know, like what you were saying. They gotta earn that. And then other times it’s like, okay, I let that, um, I, I, I, I let it go that way. Like, okay.

Rod Richard (19:41):

Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

Sevan Matossian (19:42):

Yeah.

Rod Richard (19:44):

It, it, it’s interesting. Um, I, and I like what you said about your kids have to see you fight and they have to see you, you know, make up. That’s important. But, um,

Sevan Matossian (19:52):

It’s so important, right? Especially if they see you fight, you ha, even if I have to fake it,

Rod Richard (19:58):

Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (19:59):

I’ll go in there and kiss her and apologize and like say, Hey, it was, I handled the situation completely wrong. The refrigerator door was left open. And that’s never a reason to raise your voice. And, and I, I’m a complete jackass and there’s no excuse for it. And I’ll do my best to make it better, even though I’m still angry about it. <laugh>, you know what I mean? <laugh>,

Rod Richard (20:17):

Right,

Sevan Matossian (20:17):

Right. Yeah. Because I, cuz I, I want them, I want closure. I want safety for them, and I want them to do that to, to the women they meet. I want them to have closure. Plus no one wants to fight,

Rod Richard (20:26):

Right? Yeah. No, you don’t want, you don’t want it to linger, that’s for sure. No, it doesn’t get any better. Uh, that’s something I’ve had to learn, uh, just because, you know, emotionally, like I, improving my emotional intelligence because I have, you know, two daughters is something that I’ve really been, uh, kind of big on in the last, I don’t know, year or so. Um, but it’s definitely helped me with, with my wife too, is like, before kids, I had two emotions. I was happy or I was pissed off and that was it. Right? Um, because I just didn’t have any need for the other emotions, you know? I had a bunch of bad stuff happen when I was a kid, and being sad didn’t help make it any better. Um, so I just kind of let that go. And when you’re married and you have kids, you can’t just be happy or angry, right?

(21:12):

That’s how the world works. I can’t walk around the house upset. So I had to learn how to be self-aware, uh, be socially aware, and then understand what emotion I was feeling and, and be able to express that better. Um, and it also helped me understand like what my wife or what my kids, what emotions they’re feeling, because <laugh>, and I joke about this all the time. I had those two emotions. I realized there were other emotions, but when you look at, there’s like, uh, this e emotional intelligence wheel, and there’s like all these emo there’s like 47 emotions. I’m like, but there’s no way. I felt all these things. There’s no way people feel all of these things. Um, but it is, it is definitely a real thing. And to have your kids, especially sons understand, you know, that we can have emotion and then we can work through it without being angry, without being frustrated, without using, uh, our body to handle the situation. And we can, we can conversate about it and then we can move forward is super important. And it’s definitely something that I want my daughters to see from me, because I want them to be in relationships where if they do have an argument, the man in their life talks through it, conversate, it’s, respects their emotions, and then they can move forward.

Sevan Matossian (22:27):

I, I, I pride myself, um, on, on knowing everything and <laugh>. And, and if I, and if I don’t know something, being able to stay still and look into myself and get the answer, I just pride myself on it. I think I’m just so fucking smart and wise and funny. And the other day, my six year old son in the car driving, next me goes, Heidi, that’s father in Armenian. What are feelings? And I’m like, oh, shit, <laugh>. Yeah. And I’m like, okay, just stay still and let you know. Let the answer arise outta you. Savon, everything always comes to you. You live a charm life. And I told, and I gave him some examples, and the whole time I’m like, I’m not telling him what feelings are. I’m fucking like, waffling around. I’m just giving him him examples. I’m like, Hey dude, I don’t really fucking know.

(23:18):

I can give you examples, but I don’t even really know what feelings are. I’m like, so when you figure it out, you tell me it was, it was a crazy, it was a crazy moment, right? Yeah. Uh, because I usually, that’s what I do. I just stay still and I just wait for some like, answer to come. If I don’t like it, I stay still a little longer. And another answer comes and I try to, and I want to be honest with them at all times. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I’m like, dude, I don’t even know what they are. <laugh>. You know what I mean?

Rod Richard (23:45):

Yeah. Yeah. I don’t, I don’t think, and that’s one thing that I think, uh, you know, that we have to continue to do. And I don’t, I, when I say emotional and, and getting, getting in touch with our emotions and understanding what emotions are, uh, you get a little bit of pushback from, from guys mostly. And it’s like, you know that you’re gonna, that’s soft and emotions or whatever, right? <laugh> and I definitely am not advocating for you to be soft, whatever that means to, to whoever. Um, but I think when you have a connection to how you really feel, you can move in the world a little bit differently. You can be a little bit more decisive. You can show up as a better, um, family. If you’re only, you know, you only operate through fear, anger, and happiness, um, it’s really hard to decide what to do at a lot. A lot of times, a lot of times you’re acting out of that fear or you’re acting out of that anger, and those are probably, uh, movements or, or, or situations you’re gonna regret later on. Like, I, oh man, I really didn’t, I wish I’d hadn’t done that. Um, but yeah, it, it’s really, it would be really hard for me to even explain to my kids what, what emotions are, um, what are feelings? I don’t know. Like <laugh>, you know? Right. It’s

Sevan Matossian (24:59):

A trip. Right. When he said that, I was like, well, we got a word for him. Like, I can, if you ask me what a dog is, I can be, it’s like that four-legged furry creature that we, you know, we’ve chosen dog.

Rod Richard (25:09):

Right, right. Yeah. I I,

Sevan Matossian (25:12):

Go ahead. I, I, I do, I do, I do talk to him about using their emotions. I said, Hey, I always tell them, Hey man, that’s free energy. So like if my, if my kid says, Hey, can I, can I play with, it’s eight 30 at 90? He said, Hey, can I take this toy to, to my bedroom? And I’m like, or you know, off the shelf in the living room, can I take it to my bedroom? And I’m like, no, we’re going to bed. And he’ll throw a temper tantrum and I’ll kind of just walk away from him and let him like process that. And later on I’ll be like, Hey dude, what if you took that energy and you were to come over and hold my hands and say, hi, how about tonight, baby, just one night we make an accession and you look in my eyes and like a, like a alchemist. And then he’s like, what’s an alchemist? I’m like, you, you gotta, you gotta take that energy and see how to use it better to get what you want as opposed to let it take you over. And I kind of, and you know, that’s a lot for a kid. But, but they’re starting to get it. Like, like, like that’s, man, it’s, it’s a powerful, it’s a lot of energy that just goes, can go to waste if you don’t use it. Right?

Rod Richard (26:08):

Yeah. That’s a really important seed to plant through, no matter how old they are, is, is understanding how to use that energy and that emotion to their benefit. Because you’re gonna have ’em, you’re gonna have emotions, you’re gonna have feelings, and you’re gonna not know why you feel them. But if you can channel them into something more purposeful, like you said, like taking that energy and, and understanding how to not manipulate the situation but use it to your advantage, um, that would’ve been huge. Right? <laugh>, he’d have grabbed your hands and, and looked you in the eye. He probably would’ve broke you down right

Sevan Matossian (26:38):

There. <laugh>. Oh, he work, he they can work me. If they can work me

Rod Richard (26:42):

<laugh>, they can work. He might, it might’ve turned into every night if he, he, he’d played it, right? Yeah. But I think that’s, that’s important. Uh, an important role for us as fathers is to teach them those things. Right. And I think, I think you can, without actively doing it, like in that situation, you would actively be teaching them how to use that energy. But I think in the, and even the not responding to him when he has a tantrum, right. Or like my wife

Sevan Matossian (27:09):

And my wife, yeah. That’s what I do. I try not to respond. I just try to stay still and, and, and just stay still.

Rod Richard (27:14):

Yeah. Like, I was gonna say, my, my wife in the, in the situation, cause my youngest has big, big swings of emotion and she’ll, she won’t give in and she’s getting better at it now, but she used to like hold her and pull her in and, you know, and do all these, these really nurturing things. And I just am like, yo, I’m not taking that from you. And so she’s learned that it doesn’t work with me and that she has to use a different angle to get me to do something for her. Right. Um, and that’s what saying,

Sevan Matossian (27:41):

This is awesome cuz that’s a new skillset for Right, exactly. How to manipulate mom, how to manipulate dad. You’re doing your job, you’re giving him another skillset.

Rod Richard (27:47):

Right. And it’s an, it’s an, it’s not active in the way that you, you had told him about his emotion. I just, I’m, I stonewalled that idea of I’m gonna cry my way to get what I want, because I know when she leaves my house crying might get her out of a speeding ticket, but it ain’t gonna get her much more. Um, and so she’s going to have to use her vocabulary. She’s gonna have to use her, her her thoughts to figure out how to get what she wants. Um, without going into this, this, you know, on the floor kicking, screaming, <laugh>, set of emotions that isn’t gonna get her anywhere in public.

Sevan Matossian (28:23):

Uh, the g uh, the great Cobra Rhodes rights. Uh, I believe the most important thing in dealing with someone else’s feelings is to know that those feelings, though they may not make sense to us, are very valid to them. Cobra has, I think 7, 7, 7 kids, maybe nine kids.

Rod Richard (28:37):

Oh, wow. Wow. Kudos. Kudos. Yeah. I don’t know if I could do it. I got two and I’m done.

Sevan Matossian (28:44):

How, how did you end up going down this, um, path? What was your, um, uh, inspiration? Are are, did, did I see, um, hear correctly about you? Did you used to manage five gyms?

Rod Richard (28:55):

I did. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Um, how I

Sevan Matossian (28:59):

Got in, you were, and you were a sports guy, we established that, right? You, you played college at, uh, D V C and then you went on to play, uh, at a four year.

Rod Richard (29:06):

Yeah, I played, I played football at dbc. Uh, I went on to play at Michigan Tech, uh, which is in a much colder place than I am right now. Um, after, after school, I actually worked in business, uh, coming outta school. I, uh, I, I went in, um, to get, I was actually gonna be a veterinarian, so I was in biological science, uh, until my second, third year. And then I switched because I start playing better and they <laugh> they gave me more responsibility. And, uh, being, being in the lab until 10:00 AM and getting up for, for practice at 6:00 AM didn’t really make sense to me. Um, so I switched to business and I was in marketing for a couple of years and hated it. And so I, I got into personal training. Um, so that led me to What position did you play? I was a, a linebacker outside. Linebacker. Okay. Mm-hmm.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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