#585 – Austen Alexander

Mattew Souza (00:00):


Sevan Matossian (00:01):

You man. Yeah,

Mattew Souza (00:03):

Yeah. Yeah. I sent it over to him. I’ll do just as a heads up. I have to run in an hour for a one on one at the gym.

Sevan Matossian (00:09):

You man,

Mattew Souza (00:10):

I’m gonna chill here.

Sevan Matossian (00:13):

Hope I hope you get, I hope you turn them, sell them some steroids too, while you’re at it. Some para nano too, some Roys and a fucking three year planet CrossFit, Livermore.

Mattew Souza (00:23):


Sevan Matossian (00:26):

SU I, I finally figured out what’s all fucked up. I don’t know what took me so long. It wasn’t even my, my plan to think about this this morning. But when I say, um, black guy or when I say Mexican or when I say Armenian people think about the way people look. Okay. So I was gonna, I was thinking about how, um, how, uh, Jews are, um, more suited. Uh, it was gonna be kind of funny, but kind of true. Remember that, you know, that doctor, that we’re trying to get on it, that’s gonna talk about, uh, identity. And, and we played a clip of hers the other day and she says size doesn’t matter. And she said that women are attracted to, I think she was specifically referring to women, but probably men too, but women are attracted to men with, um, uh, based on their earning potential meaning like how, and, and I take that probably the same way you do not necessarily money, although that’s a huge factor, but like how many fish you can bring home in a basket at the end of the day, right?

Sevan Matossian (01:19):

Mm-hmm, <affirmative> how good you are at repairing the roof of a hurricanes coming. Just all the things that I would think of meaning survival, but that’s the crazy thing. And so Jews are good at picking that, but they don’t pick it based on the way you look. And, and there’s no, there’s no cultural similarity that the average person could pick between a black man coming outta Chicago and a black man coming out of fucking Uganda or Nigeria. It has nothing it’s, it’s all culture. And this, the, the vast majority of the people in this country have it all fucked up. I I’m gonna say all of them except for me. And, and, and you could buy the end of the, like in the next two minutes on be a smart as me.

Mattew Souza (02:01):

<laugh> awesome. It’s,

Sevan Matossian (02:03):

It’s just culture. It’s just culture. So when I, if I were to say, Mexicans are horrible at picking, um, uh, made based on their earning potential, people would think I was talking about cholos and Choto, I’m not even talking about the way someone looks. I’m talking about the culture. If I said that, um, uh, um, uh, uh, blacks were great at dancing. I’m not talking about blacks, like people with lemonade skin, I’m talking about black culture, but until we get the word straight, we’re fucked. We, because we, because we live with idiots

Mattew Souza (02:35):

<laugh> well,

Sevan Matossian (02:36):

That’s you, we just live with idiots. It’s just, it’s just, uh, it’s fascinating to me. It’s just, it’s just culture. And the vast majority, the, the, the, the perfect example is, is you can’t, you cannot compare the culture of Armenians who were born and raised in LA to the culture of Armenians who, uh, live in Armenian. They’re totally different.

Mattew Souza (02:57):

So culture

Sevan Matossian (02:57):

They’re totally different. The culture of LA has dominated the people, the Jews in arm means and Mexican of LA, unfortunately their cultures just fucked because just LA has such shitty culture, Los Angeles, California, just a bad place.

Mattew Souza (03:12):

So culture has more predictive value than race does.

Sevan Matossian (03:15):

Uh, race has none,

Mattew Souza (03:16):

Zero, zero,

Sevan Matossian (03:18):

Cause it changes

Mattew Souza (03:19):

The young region

Sevan Matossian (03:20):

Other than the fact that people are trying to, the people of those races are stupid enough to try to assimilate to the culture that suits their skin color. So like, if you’re like a, a, you know, Mexican in LA, you, you, there’s a certain maybe like there’s a certain process you take that, that culture has like, so for middle Eastern people, it’s open a liquor store. You know, for Jews it’s open a jewelry store,

Sevan Matossian (03:47):

Interesting for young black men, maybe I, I don’t fucking, uh, either become a rap star or a basketball player there. It’s just, it’s just these cultural norms, but it has nothing to do with their skin color, not, or, or anything. You could flip the script, you could take the blacks and make ’em Jews and the Jews, blacks, and all of a sudden Jews will be rule the NBA and blacks will be fucking ruling liquor stores. It’s it’s so it’s, it’s, there’s nothing color related. I mean, it’s like, Duhon, everyone knows that, but no one says it. Yeah. Everyone still refers to it as the black guy or the Jew guy or the Mexican guy, when it has nothing to do with it. Those are cultural has nothing to do with the way you look and size does matter.

Mattew Souza (04:26):


Sevan Matossian (04:28):

I mean, shit that every morning when I fucking print out the notes to the show, I have to stand on a share stare chair, stare chair. It’s a stare and a chair. Thank you. And, um, uh, and I have to turn on the printer. And when I do that, I have to do like a, a pistol up assisted and then a negative pistol down. And I have to push the button and, and my whole life is at danger as a 50 year old man. Every time that the chair could tip over, if I was just six inches taller, four inches taller. I bet you, I wouldn’t have to do that.

Mattew Souza (05:02):

Still not needed.

Sevan Matossian (05:04):

Still not needed. Well, Sev why did you put your printer up there? Well, fuck you. It’s your business is not that I’ll put it wherever the fuck I want.

Mattew Souza (05:12):

<laugh> needed it up. And

Sevan Matossian (05:14):

At least, at least my job doesn’t take me to the fucking middle east.

Mattew Souza (05:18):


Sevan Matossian (05:20):

At least I’m not fucking that unsafe. All I have to do is turn on the printer. Oh, hi. Sorry. I didn’t know you were here. My bad. All very nice. Yeah. Yeah. That wasn’t cool. <laugh> uh, I have to fucking stand on a St. I, I just have to stand on a stool every morning. Fuck. It’s humid. Is it humid in Livermore today?

Mattew Souza (05:35):

No, it’s actually nice.

Sevan Matossian (05:36):

What is going on? It is so humid. It never gets humid in California, ke like, and you’re not allowed to complain about the weather when I’m on either.

Mattew Souza (05:45):

<laugh>. Is that, is that a, is that a reading rainbow shirt

Sevan Matossian (05:52):

He had to wear that just it’s a

Mattew Souza (05:54):

Reading rainbow.

Sevan Matossian (05:55):

That’s military nine 11 issued

Caleb Beaver (05:58):

<laugh> yeah. Right. They ran out of those shirts actually.

Sevan Matossian (06:04):

Uh, this guy that we’re, um, that’s coming on the show today has done something pretty cool. He’s built an Instagram account. Sorry. He’s built a YouTube channel and he has a million subscribers.

Mattew Souza (06:18):

That’s a lot of

Sevan Matossian (06:19):

Subscribers, pretty, uh, pretty superficial way to view him. But, but it’s a, but it’s a solid metric. It’s a great achievement. It’s like, it’s like, I, I do. Do you think that that’s equivalent in YouTube of making it to the Olympics?

Mattew Souza (06:36):

A million subscribers?

Sevan Matossian (06:37):

Yeah. Is it pretty, is it like, yeah.

Mattew Souza (06:40):

Is it percentage wise? Like everybody who starts out making content, like who makes,

Sevan Matossian (06:44):

Yeah. It’s not, you’re not on the podium, but you you’re fucking going to Barcelona.

Mattew Souza (06:48):


Sevan Matossian (06:48):

You’re suiting up. It’s pretty fucking cool. You could get the, you could get the Olympic tattoo if you’re jackass. What what’d you say? Cal shows

Caleb Beaver (06:58):

Up just to hang out.

Sevan Matossian (07:01):

Just Caleb talking, talking.

Mattew Souza (07:03):

<laugh> it like froze.

Sevan Matossian (07:04):

Oh, uh, Caleb is that brown thing behind you? New what’s going on? Something looks new. Did you guys upgrade your furniture?

Mattew Souza (07:10):

Definitely more furniture in there. <laugh>

Caleb Beaver (07:14):

Which is funny because we actually got rid of a bunch of furniture. Um,

Sevan Matossian (07:17):

Oh, so shit got shuffled around.

Caleb Beaver (07:19):

Yeah. There’s some Les. It’s about it.

Mattew Souza (07:23):

They got a Ikea over there. I think

Caleb Beaver (07:26):

<laugh> actually,

Mattew Souza (07:30):

That’s what shopping there is.

Caleb Beaver (07:32):


Sevan Matossian (07:32):

Is. Oh, no. Is our, is, is our guy no, showing us this morning.

Mattew Souza (07:35):

I really hope not. Everything was all systems ago.

Sevan Matossian (07:39):

Maybe we had a time. Um,

Mattew Souza (07:42):


Sevan Matossian (07:44):

A time.

Mattew Souza (07:46):

No, cuz earlier he had said that, uh,

Sevan Matossian (07:50):

He, he, he, no, he’s in, he’s in Los Angeles.

Mattew Souza (07:53):

He reflected back the

Sevan Matossian (07:55):

Oh shit. Oh shit. Do you see, Brian is saying that Tuesday needs to be a morning show. Oh shit. So Tuesday we have back to back shows. Wow. Mm-hmm <affirmative> Hey, do you want your wedding to go smoothly or would you like someone to knock the cake over? So you have a story. Would you like some, like one of, one of the parents to like shit their pants? Or like, like your mom’s like depends to be hanging out the back of her pants or, or like, you know what I mean? Like your uncle to get too drunk and fucking squeeze. Uh Grace’s aunt’s ass. I mean, do you want, it seems so. It seems so ni it seems so naive and, and rookie to want it to go smoothly.

Mattew Souza (08:40):

I, I place zero expectation on that and I always think that something like that happened always makes for a better story than like a, you know, a night that goes off perfectly without a hinge. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (08:51):


Mattew Souza (08:52):

Uh, <laugh>, it’s just funny that you mentioned that because I feel like part of me also wanted to go smoothly, so I don’t have to like pick up any of the pieces. You know what I mean?

Sevan Matossian (09:01):

I went to a wedding one time and the guy, the, the, um, the guy, it was actually Tony buddings wedding, the former media director, executive media, executive media director at CrossFit, Inc. It was a big wedding. It was this sleepover wedding at a campground in Ville. On a river. Yeah, it was dope. Uh, and um, they, the, the guy who does the, will you take this dude to marry this chick only officiate for the rest of her life? Yeah. Officiation dude. Um, he said Tony’s name wrong three times. And it became clear that he had like Alzheimer’s or something. Yeah. It became clear that something was wrong with him.

Mattew Souza (09:41):


Mattew Souza (09:43):

Oh my goodness.

Sevan Matossian (09:45):

Without a hinge, I don’t know. Without a hinge, without a hiccup. This is the first time I’ve

Mattew Souza (09:50):


Sevan Matossian (09:50):

Didn’t talk. I’ve been awake for 66 minutes and I, and I’m and I’m this is the first time I’m talking <laugh> my mouth is just warming

Mattew Souza (09:56):

Up. He say that about me. I said that, but without a

Sevan Matossian (10:00):

Hinge, we all know, um, that yeah. Without, without a hiccup, without a hinge.

Mattew Souza (10:06):

Yeah. Well we’ve already had quite a few, quite a few of ’em cuz the restaurant, we were originally gonna have a, a little welcome reception at called us and said they permanently closed.

Sevan Matossian (10:14):


Mattew Souza (10:15):

So that was cool. And then some transportation company that we had was like, oh, by the way, even though we gave you the quote and kept moving everything along, like it was there, we actually don’t service that area. So then that, oh shit. So then that fell through, but

Sevan Matossian (10:29):

We got, could be 112 degrees and none of our cars, Gavin Newsom said none of our cars are allowed to turn on their AC

Mattew Souza (10:34):

As he is in a jacket inside. <laugh> Caleb. Have you seen that at all?

Caleb Beaver (10:42):

What about having to shut off your electricity in California?

Mattew Souza (10:45):

Yeah, but Newsome’s in a jacket like inside while it’s at the, the craziest heat wave in the area it’s playing up. We need to yeah. Watch with our AC and he’s like in a jacket. It’s hilarious. We need to

Caleb Beaver (10:56):

See this,

Sevan Matossian (10:57):

Uh, seven. Are you going to the wedding? Here’s the thing. Here’s

Mattew Souza (11:00):

The thing. He got an invite.

Sevan Matossian (11:02):

I, I cannot, it’s a, I, I cannot, I, I, I had, I can’t put things on my calendar. You can’t ask me that, but I do have a really nice Armani suit that I’m thinking about like not eating for a couple days before the wedding so I can get into it. <laugh> like a really nice suit.

Mattew Souza (11:20):

Oh my goodness.

Sevan Matossian (11:22):

<laugh> I flew from, I flew from New Zealand. I was going from New Zealand to,

Sevan Matossian (11:31):

I should tell this whole story. It’s actually pretty fucking funny. I flew from New Zealand to Hawaii and I was going with Greg. We had an affiliate gathering in New Zealand. And when we got to, uh, we had to fly through Australia and it was so fucking weird because the, the airline we flew on, didn’t have some sort of partnership agreement with the country of Australia. So none of the passengers there were allowed to get off the plane or were allowed to in the airport, they had to stay in a certain area. They couldn’t go to other parts of the area because that would mean that you were actually in the country of Australia. It was weird. I forget the actual, but our luggage went the wrong way. And they demanded that we went and got our luggage to get it back on our flight. But we couldn’t go to that part of the airport because our airline didn’t have a fucking deal with fucking Australia. So during all this debacle, they told us we had missed our flight, but we could still see our plane like sitting there. Yeah. And Greg told the people that him and I were cardiac surgeons racing to do a heart transplant. And he used all his fancy, big words and fucking explained it to the people. And they put us on the plane. They opened the plane back up and put us on a true story. It was fucking gangster.

Mattew Souza (12:44):


Sevan Matossian (12:45):

Cool. <laugh> it was so gangster. And, and then we got to Hawaii and, and they said they had no idea where our luggage was. So Greg took me to, uh, Nordstrom’s and said, I could get whatever I want. And like the scumbag that I am, I threw in an Armani suit. Even <laugh>

Mattew Souza (13:10):

This story’s true. Not shirts, tshirt,

Sevan Matossian (13:14):

My goodness.

Mattew Souza (13:15):

An Armani suit, whatever you like, you got it. Let’s head to the suit section.

Mattew Souza (13:22):


Mattew Souza (13:25):

Oh, what a, what a great story.

Sevan Matossian (13:27):

I, I made eight minutes in the show for dropping glass exam. I don’t drop anything by the way, those of you who are like I’m dropping my new clothing today, a new podcast drops. Those of you who use the word, dropped your tools. That’s just like, shut up. Fucking Jay-Z. You don’t use the word drop, drop that’s cultural appropriation. Jeff. Only black guys can use that word drop.

Mattew Souza (13:54):

Okay. Send him another

Sevan Matossian (13:54):

Text. I’m just gonna sit here and wait until he comes.

Mattew Souza (13:57):

I was gonna ask you about the jujitsu tournament.

Sevan Matossian (14:01):

Oh man.

Mattew Souza (14:02):


Sevan Matossian (14:07):

Mm I’m glad I’m I’m it went really well. I’ll say that I’m really, really happy how it went down. Okay. Uh, a load of good competitors. The first kid that a went again. I found this, someone told me this after the tournament, the first kid that a went again. Uh, uh, again, again, the first kid that a went against, Hey, Jeff. And you should start counting. How long before I say my kid’s names too. Sure. <laugh> um, the, the first kid a went against was the whatever junior pan American champion at his age. And he arm borrowed a in 20 seconds. And then he arm borrowed the next kid in 10 seconds. And then that kid’s day was done, like, because he’s just two and out

Sevan Matossian (14:47):

<laugh> and, uh, and that, and a cried. And then ay went up against another kid. Um, who B both these kids were a year older than Avi, but supposedly they were in the same weight class, but there weren’t a lot of kids there. So they were mesh, they were smashing weight classes together. Mm-hmm <affirmative> you, you see that more often in, um, Nogi classes, geeks when you don’t wear the shit, the, the gear, right? The GE that like the pants, the, in the silly jacket, everyone wears mm-hmm <affirmative>. But, um, and for those of you who don’t do martial arts, that’s like part of the, um, technique, like taking the dude’s clothing and fucking him up with his clothing. Mm-hmm <affirmative> like, everyone wears the same clothing. So you learn how to like, take the dude’s clothes and like choke him out with him. Lapel, chokes and stuff.

Sevan Matossian (15:32):

Yeah. It’s weird. Shit. Yeah. And, uh, so, so he lost both of his, um, G matches. Then he went into no G and he beat the kid. There was only one kid there and he was a year older also, but later, and he beat the kid, uh, in the first match, like nine, two, the second match, they tied four, four. But because that kid scored last, he got the win and then a wouldn’t go on the third match he was done. He’s done. Yeah. He just sat there and just cried. Oh fuck. And I pretend, and I pretended, like, I was a cool dad and like just smiled. And I was like, I love you. Good job. I’m so proud of you. You worked hard. And then once everyone was gone, we were driving home. I’m like you pussy <laugh> no, I didn’t do that.

Sevan Matossian (16:21):

<laugh> I didn’t. But we talked about what tired meant. I, I talked about what tired man. I told him that at some point, I said, Hey, I think it was a missed opportunity. Like the other day I did a workout and it was 10 strict pull up after I rode the assault bike for 20 minutes and I did 220 calories. I did 10 strict pull up on the minute. And then on the alternate 80 minutes, I did 110 pound squat clean. And that’s it just back and forth. And I told myself, I’m gonna do all the pull up on broken, right. Just 10 strict end being well in the latter rounds. When I would get to eight or nine, I really wanted to quit. And I wasn’t sure if I could get my chin over the bar and I have to tell myself, it doesn’t matter.

Sevan Matossian (16:58):

If you get your chin over the bar, it matters to get the proper stimulus and the adaptation. I just have to try as hard as I can. And it would be, that’s probably better for me. Not probably that’s better for me, for what I’m trying to do than getting off and getting my chin over the bar. Right. And that’s the opportunity that I feel like Ave missed. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and that’s a hard, that’s a hard one because even at 50, I struggle with that just when I’m alone in my garage, I wanna rest and get a full, complete rep. Right. But, but he should have just gone out there and been like, Hey, I tried and I, and I’m better today for it did like truly better, truly better. Not like, oh, you’re better for the effort. <laugh> you truly, he truly would’ve adapted to it.

Sevan Matossian (17:38):

He, he would’ve, he would’ve learned, he would’ve grown mentally. Hey, I pushed through, into a mm-hmm <affirmative> place that I wanted to quit. And I got stronger because I’m, I’m really working this fatigued muscle, intellectual, emotional. And then, and then Ari, I, I should actually play the video. Uh Ari’s in, when they’re that young, all the girls at that age look like they’re better than the dudes. Like you see tons of chick smashing boys. And not so many boys smashing girls until like you get to 13 or 14. So Ari was the only boy in his weight division. And they, it was fucking murders row, dude, five and six year old girls, fucking like, they hit each other. Like they, when they slap your head down, they hit you like this. <laugh> it’s crazy

Mattew Souza (18:19):

Aggressive that it

Sevan Matossian (18:20):

It’s so aggressive. They

Mattew Souza (18:22):

Start standing right at that age too.

Sevan Matossian (18:24):

Standing start standing. And every kid wants to armbar cuz every coach is cuz they know that that’s when the referees stopped the match. Mm. So all the coaches are there and, and, and I have no coach. Well, that’s not true. That’s not true. McKenna came, thank God. McKenna came mm-hmm <affirmative> that’s another thing I’m so frustrated. Kind of with the Jitsu program, my kids are I’m frustrated a

Mattew Souza (18:45):

Little. Yeah. They don’t all show up and kind of rally around it or anything.

Sevan Matossian (18:47):

Yeah. Yeah. You

Mattew Souza (18:49):

Know? Oh,

Sevan Matossian (18:49):

That’s sucks. So one of the ladies that we do privates with, she showed up mm-hmm <affirmative> and just, and just took control, which I was so fucking thankful for. Oh,

Mattew Souza (18:57):

That’s really cool for, yeah. Did she have other people there? Was she there? Just basically for the boys?

Sevan Matossian (19:00):

Just for the boys. Oh,

Mattew Souza (19:02):

That’s awesome.

Sevan Matossian (19:03):

If you want, if you wanna get in on, if you don’t, if you wanna get in good with someone, just do something nice for their kids. Mm-hmm <affirmative> they’ll fucking owe you forever. Like this chick doesn’t have any kids. She’s young. She’s just a kid herself 20, but she has no idea how much it means to me that she showed up mm-hmm <affirmative> anyway, Ari had his match, he got fucking arm barred. They stopped it late. And his fucking, his arm hyper extended. You can see it in the video. Yeah. The wrong way. So he’s crying. They put ice and Haley runs in and carries him out and I thought, okay, he’s done. That’s good. And then, uh, about three minutes pass and Haley goes, Hey, you gotta go talk to Ari. And I go, what’s up. She’s like, go talk to him. So I go there and he goes, I wanna go back in. I go, what? And he goes, I wanna go back in. I’m like, you don’t have to. He goes, I want to, I’m like, all right. I take him back in fucking next match war.

Mattew Souza (19:53):


Sevan Matossian (19:53):

Double leg, fucking neon belly arm bar gets the win.

Mattew Souza (19:57):

Really? He’s

Sevan Matossian (19:58):

Not. Yeah. And then his third and then his third match was, uh, tied zero, zero at the end. And uh, the judge gave it to the girl. So, so he ended up, uh, getting a bronze

Mattew Souza (20:10):


Sevan Matossian (20:10):

He left and Joseph’s like, fuck you. I’m not doing it. So he’s all geared up. Cost me 130 bucks. He’s like Uhuh.

Mattew Souza (20:15):

And he wasn’t, he wasn’t feeling it. All right. Well that’s how that shakes out.

Sevan Matossian (20:18):

Huh? Second time. Second time in a row.

Mattew Souza (20:21):


Sevan Matossian (20:22):

Time capable child consulting for $500. I will talk to you on the phone.

Mattew Souza (20:27):


Sevan Matossian (20:28):

For one hour,

Mattew Souza (20:34):

I thought there’d be more

Sevan Matossian (20:35):

Chevon. What do you know about parenting AHHA? He charges 500 per prepare. He thinks he knows how a parent come meet him.

Mattew Souza (20:44):

I was gonna say, just have the kids hang out, come

Sevan Matossian (20:47):

Meet them.

Mattew Souza (20:48):

That’s the resume. And

Sevan Matossian (20:49):

The come meet the boys

Mattew Souza (20:50):

And the business card all in one.

Sevan Matossian (20:53):

So this morning afterwards, we’re going, there’s this? Uh, the pretty, I, I think this kid’s better than ABI at tennis and he’s a year younger people tell me he’s not, but I think he is this kid’s really fucking aggressive and cool. And his mom texted me last night and goes, Hey, you wanna get the boys together at 9:00 AM to play tennis? I said, fuck. Yeah.

Mattew Souza (21:10):


Sevan Matossian (21:11):

So after the show, I’m going over to high school and watch a fucking war with this fucking six year old. Actually I think he’s seven now. Maybe he’s not a year younger, but uh, can I pay you $500 to tell me more go like Greg Glassman stories? Yes. <laugh> no. For $50,000. I like, or I’ll start telling you some good ones. Excuse me.

Mattew Souza (21:35):

I think, I think Caleb just grabbed like a weapon to attack some bug. We can’t see. Look at him

Sevan Matossian (21:41):


Caleb Beaver (21:42):


Mattew Souza (21:42):

He’s armed now. What’s happening.

Sevan Matossian (21:44):

Wait, you’re allowed to use those in

Caleb Beaver (21:47):

There’s just it’s assault again.

Sevan Matossian (21:50):

Hey, um, so when I was in Newport, one of Sarah Cox’s business, associate associates. Yes. Yes. Thank you. When I was, how many, how often does he mention Newport? When I was in Newport at the beach house, <laugh> this fucking dude. I go what’s that? He goes assault gun. I’m like, oh, I’ve always wondered. One of those. He shot me at point blank range, six inches away, twice in a row behind my knee in that soft fleshy spot. <laugh> and, and, and OB and I yelped and Avi ran and it stung for a long time, like salt actually penetrated the skin and Avi ran over to the dude and goes, give me that, give me that. And uh, uh, this guy’s a brown belt. Um, uh, Paul, he’s a brown belt at AOJ and he’s all why. And obviously, cuz you shot my dad and I’m gonna shoot you. I’m like, yeah boy

Mattew Souza (22:39):

<laugh> damn.

Caleb Beaver (22:40):

We do. We do that to each other all the time. We just shoot each other with a small guy.

Sevan Matossian (22:45):

Hey that got in your eye. That could fuck your eyeball up. Yeah,

Mattew Souza (22:48):

For sure.

Caleb Beaver (22:49):

We, everybody, we gotta close their eyes IPRO.

Sevan Matossian (22:52):

That’s a lie. That’s a lie. Caleb’s just like concerned HR is gonna get ’em now.

Mattew Souza (22:57):

Yeah, they don’t do shit. They just

Caleb Beaver (23:00):


Mattew Souza (23:00):


Sevan Matossian (23:01):

Hey, so that salt’s just everywhere then. Like you shoot it and it’s just on the ground then.

Caleb Beaver (23:06):


Sevan Matossian (23:07):

I can’t have one of those in my house. Right?

Caleb Beaver (23:09):

Yeah. I would probably not an indoor thing, but

Sevan Matossian (23:12):

Unless you work in the military and you don’t give a fuck,

Caleb Beaver (23:15):

We don’t give two fucks <laugh> yeah.

Sevan Matossian (23:17):

Hey. So like if you were eating hard boiled eggs in that room and you wanted little salt, you could just like take the egg and just dab it on the floor.

Mattew Souza (23:23):


Caleb Beaver (23:24):

Yep. Yeah. If anybody, if everybody wants salt, we just shoot it up in the ceiling and then it sprinkles.

Sevan Matossian (23:29):

Everyone gets it salt for everyone.

Caleb Beaver (23:31):

<laugh> yep, exactly.

Sevan Matossian (23:32):

Dude, I stayed in the late preparing for this dude.

Mattew Souza (23:35):

I know. I know. And he really double checked with me and I was like, yeah, we’re all good. And

Sevan Matossian (23:40):

I, um, I got on the assault bike, uh, late last night, um, late can’t trust

Caleb Beaver (23:47):

The Navy

Sevan Matossian (23:48):

And I <laugh>, he’s a Navy guy. Uh, I got on this saw bike late last night and I actually, as I got, I got on at 10 19 and I, and I stayed up for another hour and 15 minutes finishing the research on the guy. And I was actually thinking, I was like pat myself on the back the whole time, like, fuck, you’re such a stud. I did have this thought this morning. And I wanted to share with you guys. This one, uh, means a lot to me. I actually went over like an asshole and woke my wife up and shared this one with her <laugh> I Sundays are my fasting day. I stopped eating Saturday night as you guys know, and I don’t eat again until Monday morning, I just drink black coffee. I woke up this morning. This is after doing it for two years. And I had this huge sense of relief that I did not have to eat today. And I’d never had that before.

Mattew Souza (24:41):


Sevan Matossian (24:42):

And that’s the evolution of fasting when it starts, people are scared. You’re like, oh

Mattew Souza (24:51):

<laugh> <laugh>

Sevan Matossian (24:55):

I apologize. Uh, um, I don’t wish you like a happy nine, 11 day or anything, right? Kayla. That’s not like a military day it’s that’s that’s

Mattew Souza (25:05):

Right. That’s alright. You

Caleb Beaver (25:07):

Don’t, we don’t celebrate that.

Sevan Matossian (25:09):

Okay. Okay. I don’t know what that, I don’t know what that appropriate term is. Um, there’s

Mattew Souza (25:14):

A flyover for it.

Sevan Matossian (25:16):

Uh, when people start fasting, they’re scared across the board. They’ll always be like, well, I think I’m gonna try 12 hours. I’m like, oh, you’re gonna stop eating at eight o’clock at night and go to sleep until eight. You get jackass. Um, but

Mattew Souza (25:33):

You go to sleep. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (25:36):

<laugh> but I understand 24, you get a little nervous and what’s crazy is that people do 24 hour fast and then they start eating at night at night. I’m like, dude, just go to sleep. And, and you can just Cress you’ll crest over into the 36 hour point. What

Mattew Souza (25:51):

Was your first fast? How long was your first one? Like when you first started to dabble, did you go first 24? Did

Sevan Matossian (25:57):

You just do you know? You know, what’s crazy. I think the first time I ever fasted my life, I did a 10 day fast in college and I, but, but we drank, um, I, I boiled, I simmered like onions and bananas and I simmered all this shit in a, in a bowl that I was supposed to in a giant pot. And then you strain out, strain out all the particulate. I think I just drank that shit for 10 days. Wow. That was the first time I ever fasted. And then I, I, I would never in my, in my, I never have considered 12 or 18 hours a fast, never, ever, ever in my life.

Caleb Beaver (26:39):

It’s not even really a fast at that point either. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (26:41):

Like I consider if you don’t sleep twice, if you, if, if you can’t go a day, a whole waking cycle without eating, then you didn’t fast. Mm. It seems just like, Hey, you just didn’t eat. It just seems like, yeah,

Mattew Souza (26:56):

If you skipped a couple meals,

Sevan Matossian (27:00):

But now, but today after two years, I, I, I like, I, I was like, and I told my wife, I go, oh my gosh. Cuz what I go, I’m fucking re relieved. I don’t have to eat today. I’m so I’m, I’ve become so thankful for Sundays gratitude.

Mattew Souza (27:14):

Oh, it’s turned into like a religious practice for

Sevan Matossian (27:17):

You. I I guess yeah. Powerful.

Caleb Beaver (27:19):

It’s it? It’s your holy day.

Sevan Matossian (27:20):

It is my holy day. I don’t, um, I’m free. I’m free from having to eat today. It’s like, oh, thank you. I’ve set myself free.

Mattew Souza (27:29):

I’ve been thinking about trying it. I just don’t know if I could.

Sevan Matossian (27:32):

You’re too young go

Mattew Souza (27:34):

Without going that long. It’s funny because all the guys, especially the firefighters I talk to, they’re like, oh, I do intermittent fasting. And I’m like, do you really do you just, they just skip breakfast. And then anytime you you tell them to flip it, you go, okay, great. Yeah. So intermittent fasting. Why don’t you try it by skipping dinner and then not eating until noon the next day. So stop eating at like 3:00 PM. Yeah. Or 2:00 PM. And then don’t eat until noon the next day. And they’re like, oh no. <laugh> so you’re like, yeah, you’re not intermittent fasting. You’re just skipping breakfast. You

Caleb Beaver (28:02):

Can’t consider not eating, but like on shift as like intermittent fasting, cuz it’s like, oh I missed a meal on shift.

Mattew Souza (28:10):

Right? It’s not

Sevan Matossian (28:10):

Intermittent fasting. Some people can’t go a day without eating bread. I think the vast majority of Americans dude, when the power went last year, not last year, but a couple years ago, the power went out here for days at a time in California where I’m at and people were freaking out like people close to me. I’m like, dude, relax.

Mattew Souza (28:30):


Sevan Matossian (28:31):

Power’s out. It’s okay. Starbucks is like, we can go to Starbucks in the next town over and survive.

Caleb Beaver (28:37):

<laugh> yeah,

Mattew Souza (28:39):

We all right. It’s a few hours. Like

Sevan Matossian (28:40):

Fuck. But it is weird when the power goes out for days. But, but, but not like, but people get, people get scared.

Caleb Beaver (28:48):

It’s like when the wifi goes down, everybody panics

Mattew Souza (28:52):

<laugh> well that’s scary. Kayla, come on.

Sevan Matossian (28:54):

They don’t know what they’re you know why? Cuz they don’t know what they’re gonna do with themselves.

Caleb Beaver (28:59):

Yeah. They can’t like, they don’t know what, how to entertain themselves for like the two hours that it goes down. They’re just like, I, what do I, I don’t, I can’t use my phone. I can’t like I have to talk to people like freak out.

Sevan Matossian (29:11):

I I’m gonna put you on the spot here. SU I apologize. SU I want you to steal your brain and I’m gonna fire a question to you and I want you to answer it ready? Yes. For those of you don’t know SU lives in Livermore, California, if you add water to any plant there, it will fucking flourish. That’s all. I mean he lives in like a spot where anything will fucking grow. Yeah.

Mattew Souza (29:35):


Sevan Matossian (29:36):

Pretty true. Do you know where the closest, what, when you think of the closest tree that gives food to you? Not right now, but just at any time during the year, can you immediately think of a tree? Like, oh yeah. That neighbor has an avocado tree. Oh yeah. I know my parents have an orange tree. Like do you know of a tree? No. You don’t know a plum tree every year. You don’t know you don’t that means maybe you don’t walk enough. No, I.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

Check out our other posts.