#452 CA Hormones Journals | Paul Samson Ep. 1

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Sevan Matossian (00:00):

Damn bam. We’re live what’s up, Caleb. I’m glad this is oh, you, you muted yourself cuz of the jets. It’s okay. Fuck it. Do some jets. Do some jets. Let me see if I can find Paul here. Um, okay.

Sevan Matossian (00:25):

Uh, four minutes guys. I wanna show you guys something really quick. I wanna show you two things real quick. Uh, that, um, are important. I think that I share with you, one of ’em is a post I did a couple days ago and it showed a baby in some sort of like with some sort of plastic covering over its face. I’m guessing it’s some sort of bag that’s used in rain or something for kids or who knows. Maybe it was designed for COVID. I have no idea, but someone in those comments writes, um, I’m not sure where it is, but says something about, Hey, I, I can’t believe the racism here. And this is an awesome example because I, I use this a lot. I say to PE I talk to a lot of people who are in their head all the time. So I say something, then they interpret it in their head and then they respond to what’s in their head.

Sevan Matossian (01:07):

So now they’re having a conversation with themselves. You understand what I’m saying? And I’m gonna show you a perfect example. Someone said, basically here, I can’t believe the racism or something like that. And that means they interpreted what I’m showing as racist. I have no idea what they’re talking about. Zero, zero. Um, and then they responded to it and now they’re just having a conversation with themselves. That’s how most people are now. It’s okay. And that’s why you’ll get a lot. If, if some of you who DM me, I’ll be like, Hey man, you’re talking to yourself because you, you’re not, you haven’t even heard what I said or you’ve made up what you think I said, and now you’re responding to that. And once you do that, um, I’m not sure if I wanna unfuck you like walk you backwards outta your head. Like if you were my wife, I would, or I would expect my wife to do it for me. Or sometimes I would do it for, you know, someone I love. But, but if you, if you make presuppositions, then you’re stuck in an echo chamber of your head. Most people are just stuck there. Always. When I’m stuck there, if someone points it out to me, I can pop out of it super quick. I’m awake.

Caleb Beaver (02:11):

Found it.

Sevan Matossian (02:13):

The man, the man in one is wearing a front baby carrier. You can see the straps on the back. Shoulders, front baby carriers do have a plastic rain flap cover very disappointed in the racism implied in respondents. So if, if they’re, if they don’t, oh wait, let me see what what’s the one below that say, don’t know, you know anything against the woke mob is racist, right? Well, that’s the thing. And that is the problem with the woke mob. They’re in their head. So any, if you are offended by something like when I get offended by something, I’m in my head, it’s all about me now. It’s just, it’s just all narcism. There’s nothing that should offend me. Nothing, nothing, or else that is me that I’m holding onto that’s ego. Only ego can be offended and it’s cool. I do get offended. I do have some ego, but you gotta work through it. You gotta work through it. I would never blame. I try. I don’t blame other people when I’m offended. Okay. The second thing I wanna show you is this. And I got in trouble with my wife about this. This is a post, um, that shows my kids. I thought about this today when I was at the beach. And I thought, wow, if I view my kids as sacred and what do I mean by sacred? I mean the, the closest thing to what God is on the planet, just purity, light, come down.

Sevan Matossian (03:33):

What would I show them? What would I, how would I treat God? If God was on the planet? What would I share with God in its purest form? Right when it got here. And I said, I wouldn’t share video games, drunk food or transvestite reading hour at the library. And my wife says to me, Hey, what the fuck’s wrong with? Transvestites? People are gonna, I know, I know you don’t have a problem with transvestites cuz my wife know, we just had a tra you over here. You know, watching fight night a while back. I love a tranny. I love everybody.

Sevan Matossian (04:05):

She’s all. But it makes it look like you don’t like transvestites. No, no. I love video games. I love drunk food. I love transvestites. Let me tell you who else. I don’t want reading to my kid at the library. I don’t want a fucking hell’s angel. I don’t want a meth addict. I don’t want ready, ready for this. I don’t want Tia to me in her fucking bra and underwear, reading to my kids. What she wears to the CrossFit games at the library. It’s just not library. It’s not library time. I don’t want someone screaming their sexuality at the, at, at, at the library, reading time. Let me tell you who I do want, I want someone who’s about 55 to 60. Yes. Ages who, whose hobbies are collecting leaves from the trees in the area, the indigenous trees and pressing them in books and then reads to kids in the library and also fucking helps cats and dogs at the animal shelter. That’s who I want reading to my kids. Is there something wrong with that?

Sevan Matossian (04:55):

And the, you know, the trannies, I want them to see the trannies. My mom showed me when we would go to the plays when I would go to the city and we would have dinner and my waiter would be fucking that, that that’s where I see it. Not at the library. I don’t want my kid distracted by, Hey, what the fuck is this person screaming? Some sort of fucking, um, something other than just what’s going on at the library. So let’s go over it again. Don’t want girl and bra athletic attire, bra panties, the CrossFit games. Girls don’t want them reading at the library. Don’t want trannies. Don’t want hell’s angels. Don’t want, um, uh, you know, there’s a whole, whole variety of things, but it ha it’s not because I don’t like those people. I love those people. I’m not, I don’t tell my kids to listen to my podcast. Are you crazy? Unless I, unless I got Annie Thor’s daughter on or just me and Caleb anyway, I just, I just wanted to be clear about that. But my, my, my wife is smart. She points that out to me. Cause I forget people live in this duality. They’ll be like, but seven on God against trannie nothing.

Caleb Beaver (05:56):

Yeah. Very black and white

Sevan Matossian (05:57):

Fucking nothing. Last play I went to in the city was a, uh, the main character was a dude who played a woman, the entire big old giant black dude. He was amazing. He stole the show. He stole the show.

Caleb Beaver (06:10):

What was it called?

Sevan Matossian (06:11):

I forget, my mom got me the tickets. I think I was bomb. I was like, so bombed. I didn’t want to go. And actually it was a really shitty play, but he or she or whatever they want to be called was so fucking amazing. Blew my mind actually blew my mind. I just, I would’ve loved to have gone and hung out one of these days when I get drunk on there, air I’ll tell you my, my, some of the parties. I used to have some of the, when I would go to the erotic exotic ball in San Francisco, the hookers ball one, the crazy shit I did

Caleb Beaver (06:46):

Sounds crazier than a Midwestern party. That’s for sure.

Sevan Matossian (06:49):

<laugh> but not at the library and come on. It’s not, it’s not, it’s not, it’s not a dig at anybody. It’s not a fucking dig at anyone. There’s things that are appropriate at different times in different places. So it’s okay. Someone’s like what’s normal. I had a discussion today. What’s normal. Do you wanna know what normal is? Normal is when you, um, grow a seed in a cup in your kitchen and the plant starts growing towards the window. Do you know why that plant’s doing that? Because that’s normal. It’s going for the light. It’s normal. There’s normal, normal as you park too close to someone and you, and you notice it and you immediately back out, regardless if they’re a dwarf, a trany a fucking angry little Armenian dwarf, a fucking Jew of fucking Godzilla. That’s normal. You just back out and, and scoot over a little bit. Just normal. There’s normal seeding goes to the light. It’s just normal. There is normal and it’s okay. Not to be normal too. Matter of fact, if you really wanna not be normal, just be normal. Now I’m the most normal person. I know no tattoos. Stay at home, drink a lot of water.

Sevan Matossian (08:11):

Get semi aroused. When I pull out the weed whacker just normal.

Caleb Beaver (08:15):

Do you appreciate like a fresh cut lawn?

Sevan Matossian (08:18):

Oh, so much

Caleb Beaver (08:20):

That like the greatest thing

Sevan Matossian (08:21):

So much.

Caleb Beaver (08:23):

Do you, do you cut it in patterns or do you just

Sevan Matossian (08:26):

Do like straight lines? I don’t, you’re gonna hate, I don’t cut my own lawn. I gotta garden it. Oh, okay.

Caleb Beaver (08:30):

But like, just about

Sevan Matossian (08:31):

It <laugh> I, I don’t even know that I don’t notice the pattern, but when I go out there, I’m so happy and I, and I really like a yard with no poop in it. Can we not talk about COVID? Oh, you don’t wanna watch Metcon nine? This show’s not gonna be for you. I mean, there’s gonna be some gangster shit in this, in this episode, when Paul comes on his shit’s crazy. His, he, he he’s lived, he’s only 38 and he’s done some gangster shit. But one of the things that happened is he spent, he told me I have the title wrong. Like I give a fuck. But, um, uh, he, he spent, he spent some time in the hospital with COVID and he got a hole in his throat and a hole in his stomach and, and basically whatever they did to him, they wouldn’t have done to someone. If they were 50, they would just would’ve let him expire because he’s 38. They made some efforts to save him. You’re nodding your head, like, you know that, uh, you saw they were different protocols, Caleb.

Caleb Beaver (09:20):

Yeah. I, I was, I’m curious about the, the stoma, like the trake that they did on him. I’m curious. Like, is he still have that? Like, does he have to cover it up for when he eats and stuff? Or does, were they able to like close it?

Sevan Matossian (09:33):

When I met him, he had a bandaid on it.

Caleb Beaver (09:36):

Oh, okay. So they probably were able to close it. Cause sometimes they have it, like, if, like, if some people with like throat cancer, it, like, it just stays there. And so now they have to like have a plug essentially, and whenever they eat or drink or whatever, like that way it doesn’t nothing comes out of their mouth when they try

Sevan Matossian (09:54):

To like you would eat it and it could just fall out the hole.

Caleb Beaver (09:56):

Yeah, exactly.

Sevan Matossian (09:58):

It sounds like an infection. Wait in heaven. Uh, if you would like to get a CEO, plus speaking of tra a shirt, go over to vindicate. If you wanna get our 4th of July edition of the CEO shirt, which I’m just so excited about, uh, go over to vindicate. If you want the old school ones, you can also go to the semi podcast, uh, uh, dot com, plus website, whatever. Um, you know what? I need to start wearing tank tops. I think I’m gonna wax all that, that tough of hair on the back of my triceps and start wearing tank tops. And, uh, and also, so there’s a website called CA hormones, CA cat asshole, hormones.com. And if you go there and you sign up for blood work, you’ll get a blood work and a free doctor’s consultation. If you use the code seven, I think it’s capital S E V a N. And then they’ll contact you. They’ll send you to a place to get blood work. And then a doctor will go over the blood work with you and talk to you about like what your problems are. How, what a Stu you are, uh, Matt, he can’t get on. Can you get your help? Oh,

Caleb Beaver (11:08):

Hm Hmm.

Paul Samson (11:12):


Sevan Matossian (11:13):

Maybe I’ll call him. Let’s see what happens if I call him,

Caleb Beaver (11:16):

Just make it a live call and show for him.

Sevan Matossian (11:21):

Let me see. Paul Paul. Let’s see Paul. Paul. Oh, shoot. Hey, just damn it. That’s not right. Uh, call. Okay. I’m calling. I didn’t give him much time. I sent him the link kind of late.

Caleb Beaver (11:41):

It’s okay. We’ll get him on. We’ve only been

Sevan Matossian (11:43):

A few weeks. Yeah. Hey Paul. Hey brother. What’s up?

Paul Samson (11:47):

I sent to the thread with you and Matt on it.

Sevan Matossian (11:50):

Okay. What

Paul Samson (11:51):

The, what the computer’s saying? So I just turned it on and off.

Sevan Matossian (11:55):

Oh, okay. I tested

Paul Samson (11:55):

All this. I tested all this, like an hour before.

Sevan Matossian (11:58):

Are you on Chrome?

Paul Samson (12:00):

Yes. I downloaded Chrome. Followed all Matt’s instructions. Okay. Cool. Damien helped me and we beta tested it with like the link he had sent. You guys had sent him. So we got into the stream stream yard.

Sevan Matossian (12:10):

Oh, bitching. Okay. It

Paul Samson (12:11):

Just said I won’t be able to use the microphone in the camera, which was weird. All oh, restarting. It’s almost up and running. Give me like two

Sevan Matossian (12:19):

More minutes. Okay. Just ignore all that stuff and come on in. Come on in.

Paul Samson (12:22):


Sevan Matossian (12:23):

Thanks brother. Okay. Oh, that’s a great, that’s a great Photoshop that will did of, uh,

Caleb Beaver (12:33):

Um, oh yeah.

Sevan Matossian (12:34):

Of Hiller. I’m gonna use that. I’m I’m working on my Hiller and review show. Oh shoot. But it’s so small.

Caleb Beaver (12:42):

I almost want it to look like, just like bigger, like thicker Coke bottle glasses.

Sevan Matossian (12:47):

It’s cuz I gave him such a shitty post. Yeah. But I, I do like it. I agree. Have you seen any of those videos where he is critiquing the, um, critiquing I’ve had COVID forever. I’ve had it for two years now. I have, I have triple on COVID I just did a nasty workout too. I’m just sweating like crazy.

Caleb Beaver (13:07):

What’s that hottest shit over there today.

Sevan Matossian (13:09):

Good. Oh, so hot dude. It’s been so hot for three days. I mean, for us, the hot is 80 degrees. I was at the beach all day. So hot.

Caleb Beaver (13:15):

It is nuts. And it’s, it feels like I’m breathing water over here. I think like the feel like the feel is like a hundred degrees and it’s actually like 85. It’s crazy.

Sevan Matossian (13:25):

Um, I think you’ll like that when you get like when you’re fitty

Caleb Beaver (13:29):

Oh yeah. When it’s cold, my joints hurt. Okay. Like I feel, I feel arthritic when it’s the middle of the winter, but then as soon as it warms up, everything’s all looped up and little oils and ready to go.

Sevan Matossian (13:40):

You, I kind of just have to like when I, when I go places where it’s human like that, I just have to tell myself, okay, you’re gonna be sweating in two seconds. Just accept it. And there kind of, there has to still be this first layer of water gush over me before I’m like cool with it.

Caleb Beaver (13:53):

Yeah. Then you’re just sweating for the, the rest of the time.

Sevan Matossian (13:57):

Yeah. Drinking as much water as you can. Must be. Must be horrible if you’re obese. Oh yeah. Oh man. You’re in Omaha. I was in Omaha one summer and there was no one outside and I couldn’t believe it. And we went outside and we went to a park and my dog got destroyed by mosquitoes. And I knew then right away why no one goes outside. It was crazy.

Caleb Beaver (14:23):

That is not surprising. Was it, is it like the middle of the spring or something?

Sevan Matossian (14:26):

It was by Joe Westland’s house. I CA uh, I think it was the summer we went to, I was like, there’s no one out. Yeah. This is a, this is a major metropolis and no one’s out. And we went into a park and all of a sudden I looked at my dog and he was completely covered in mosquitoes. He, he probably got 200 bites. And like when you pet him, it was just blood. Like just under hand. Yeah. It was crazy.

Caleb Beaver (14:48):

That’s nasty.

Sevan Matossian (14:48):

He’s a little Chihuahua.

Caleb Beaver (14:50):

Oh yeah. So he was basically just covered in mosquitoes. You probably couldn’t even see him.

Sevan Matossian (14:54):

Ah, Minneapolis riot weather. That’s perfect. Riot weather, burn it down, burn it down.

Caleb Beaver (14:59):

Don’t they say when it gets hotter? Like the more crime there is.

Sevan Matossian (15:03):

I like a probably.

Caleb Beaver (15:06):

So everybody’s all hot and bothered.

Sevan Matossian (15:08):

I love all. Thank you to all, by the way, I lost 600 followers for all the fucking rants I’ve been doing the last couple days, but I want to thank all the Europeans who DM me and flooded my DMS, telling me how screwed up the healthcare system is when it’s privatized, man, the stories are horror stories. And for all the military people who told me that same exact thing, what did

Caleb Beaver (15:29):

Oh, it’s nuts. Yeah. Like the amount of time it takes for any of us to get, uh, like referrals or any sort of specialty care is it’s absurd. Like just to get a normal appointment, to be seen for anything it’s like a month plus that that’s absolutely insane.

Sevan Matossian (15:46):

Yeah. Meanwhile, meanwhile are all of, if you go to any of our hospitals in California at 10 o’clock at night, you’ll see all the frequent flyers in there.

Caleb Beaver (15:55):

Oh certainly. Yeah. My wife has the same, same problem. She sees. There are some people that she picks up that are banned from certain hospitals. Like you just, you, they refuse to pick them up. Like there was somebody that they picked up twice in the same night. And when they called over to the hospital, they were like, uh, we’re gonna divert you because we’re not seeing this person again.

Sevan Matossian (16:14):


Caleb Beaver (16:15):

It’s like, it’s, it’s absolutely insane. It’s either, it’s either a homeless person slash drug addict or it’s somebody who’s severely obese and can’t take care of themselves. There was one lady they had, they, uh, they lived on like the second story of this house and they

Sevan Matossian (16:32):

Guys listened to the jets flying over Caleb’s house.

Caleb Beaver (16:34):

Oh, sorry.

Sevan Matossian (16:36):

So the what? Those are F sixteens.

Caleb Beaver (16:38):

No. Um, they’re a newer jet. Oh, one of one of the louder ones. I guess

Sevan Matossian (16:43):

You can’t tell us. You’d have to kill us.

Caleb Beaver (16:45):

<laugh> no, I just don’t kill us. It’s give away where I am. Um, but there’s this lady who lived on like the second floor of her house and she said she had a hundred pound cat. I did look it up. There’s no such thing as a hundred pound cat, unless it’s like Aker or something, but easily a 50 pound cat, like no litter box. Their entire upstairs was basically a litter box. And when she came downstairs to be seen by the medic, they, she, her like from the knees down was covered in cat VCs.

Sevan Matossian (17:13):

Oh. And litter, my goodness.

Caleb Beaver (17:15):

And she was severely obese.

Sevan Matossian (17:17):

Oh, that was easy.

Paul Samson (17:23):


Sevan Matossian (17:25):

Bam. We’re live. What’s up, dude.

Paul Samson (17:28):

Hey brother. How are you?

Sevan Matossian (17:29):

Awesome. I, I worked out, I put goo in my hair. I made a cup of coffee and I put ice in it. I haven’t done that in a while.

Paul Samson (17:38):

There you guys, you look sharp.

Sevan Matossian (17:39):

Thank you.

Paul Samson (17:42):


Sevan Matossian (17:44):

Hey, um, that, that, that, that piece of tape you have on your, so if you took that piece of tape off your throat, would there be a hole there?

Paul Samson (17:54):

No, it’s, uh, it’s uh, healed up.

Sevan Matossian (18:00):

How long did that take to heal?

Paul Samson (18:03):

Um, so it was, I mean it closed, the crazy thing was it was about the size of a nickel Uhhuh, the hole. Um, the, the trach was, and on that, um, it took about, I’d say about six weeks to fully close. Like I would still sneeze and it would start bleeding.

Sevan Matossian (18:27):

How about snot? What’s not come outta there.

Paul Samson (18:29):

Oh dude. I will be honest with you. Some of the, so basically all that buildup I had in my chest, Uhhuh from the COVID, um, it literally smelled like my lungs were roting. It was the most,

Sevan Matossian (18:42):

Like you could smell it.

Paul Samson (18:43):

Oh, I could smell it. I just breathing in and through my lungs, my nose, it was bad.

Sevan Matossian (18:49):

Hey, you know that, um, a tracheotomy is a surgical procedure in which an incision is made in the front of the neck and a breathing tube is placed into the trachea, also called the wind pipe. The tube that is placed into the trachea is called the tracheotomy tube. Is that what you had?

Paul Samson (19:05):

Yes, sir.

Sevan Matossian (19:08):

Hey, you know, you know that taste, um, like I have it right now. I’ve been sick like for a month and like I’m in the snotty phase and like, my mucus has this taste. Right. Do you know what, what I’m talking about? It’s like, it’s like the it’s like flu taste. Yeah. And you spit out and it’s like either green or yellow. Correct. Is that what it tasted like worse or worse? Oh,

Paul Samson (19:28):

Worse way worse. It was. I, I, I became,

Sevan Matossian (19:31):

Yeah, this stuff doesn’t even taste bad. This doesn’t taste bad, but it’s distinct.

Paul Samson (19:35):

It’s very distinct. But this, I, I, I was super self-conscious after coming outta the coma, that, to the point where it, when the nurses would come by me, I felt like they could, you know, they could smell it. And I didn’t know what it was at first. I was completely baffled by the whole thing. Um, but when they pulled out the cap that I had in there, cuz they would hook a tube up at night, uh, to pump air into my lungs. It was kinda like airflow. And it was just, you know, the air pumping in there. I could smell it. It was coming outta my pores. It felt like. And then when that cap came off, oh my God. It was basically,

Sevan Matossian (20:15):

Uh, did he freeze for you, Caleb? He froze for me.

Paul Samson (20:17):

And they would pump it right outta your neck with this device. They’d pump it right outta the neck. And it was so thick that you would almost vomit trying to get it out.

Sevan Matossian (20:26):

Oh shit. You could feel it in your throat.

Paul Samson (20:29):

Yeah. Yeah. I could feel it in my throat

Sevan Matossian (20:34):


Paul Samson (20:35):

And they would, and they would take like, uh, one of the large plastic, uh, syringes and they would suck it right outta my throat.

Sevan Matossian (20:42):

How come you didn’t have to have that in there during the day. How come only when you slept at night, the vet? Uh,

Paul Samson (20:47):

No, they would, they would put it on at night. So I, I basically needed so much oxygen Uhhuh that they had to, uh, I was at 10 liters and that’s how they would pump it in, um, through my throat. So

Sevan Matossian (20:59):

I had even during the day,

Paul Samson (21:00):

Yeah. Day and night. And then as we started to titrate me down to a, a much lesser dose, um, death. So I had like the nasal cannula to start and then they, uh, they put that around my throat.

Sevan Matossian (21:12):

Do you remember when, like you knew you were like, oh shit, I’m not gonna die. I think I made it. Or do you feel that way now? Do you feel like you made it?

Paul Samson (21:20):

Yeah, I mean considering how big, I mean, I got pretty much like a standing ovation leaving that hospital. Um, I was supposed to basically have a trach trach cap the rest of my life and uh, it just started healing so well. Um, but it was, uh, you know, understatement for me to say it was not one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve ever, ever gone through.

Sevan Matossian (21:42):

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I was, um, there is a benefactor of the show who has been, uh, exceedingly generous to me and my family who let me stay at, um, a home. She owns in Newport beach on the beach for two weeks. Uh, and I think I shared that with you guys almost every day when I was there. And while, while I was there, I had the pleasure of meeting, uh, Paul there and I met Paul on the beach one day. He’s friends with, um, Sarah, the lady who, uh, let us use the home. So, uh, then I hung out with Paul on the beach. Yeah, take your time, go ahead. Do whatever you gotta do, Paul. So then I was with, I hung out with Paul on the beach a couple days and uh, we kicked it and we, we had a really good time. He’s a really cool dude. And one of the things, um, that you know, was revealed to me over time was, is that he’s 38 years old. And that he said that he spent, uh, I think, I wanna say 80 days, we’ll ask him now, uh, in the hospital with, oh, look, there’s Sarah. Hi Sarah. She done fucked up.

Paul Samson (22:43):

Yeah. She just tried to tell me that me and you weren’t even talking. And I’m like, I’ve been talking to him. She’s like, no, you’re not. I’m like, okay,

Sevan Matossian (22:49):

No, we are we’re live. I can see the comments. People are commenting. There’s two chicks. Uh, what happened when he, what happens when he burb like, yeah, people are, people wanna know stuff already, so, but, but hold on, hold before we get there. Yeah. So, so we hung out on the beach, we became friends, we hit it off right away. And uh, and so I said, Hey, um, I’d love for you to come on the show and just hear the whole story because I’m always just talking crazy shit about people, uh, who got COVID and he kind of fits the, as I got to know him better, he fit the mold. Like what happened to him was because he was fucking abusing his body, um, prior to getting COVID and it was just a perfect storm.

Paul Samson (23:25):


Sevan Matossian (23:27):

So you’re

Paul Samson (23:27):

38 38.

Sevan Matossian (23:29):

And, and how many kids do you have?

Paul Samson (23:31):

I have four.

Sevan Matossian (23:33):

And wow. How old are your kids?

Paul Samson (23:35):

Uh, my oldest turned 15 this month. Uh, my other daughter turned 14 a couple days later and then my other daughter will turn 10 in September. And then, um, I got a little man that, uh, is three.

Sevan Matossian (23:49):

Wow. That’s crazy. Yeah. Congratulations. What appreciate you’re stoked.

Paul Samson (23:55):


Sevan Matossian (23:57):

Uh, okay. So can you tell me, um, can, can we go back to, um, like December, 2019, um, January, uh, 2020, right around then when we were starting to hear about this cruise ship out in the ocean, uh, off the coast of Japan and there’s some people with COVID. Can you tell me, so that’s two years ago, you’re 36 years old. Can you tell me what you look like then? What your lifestyle is like, are you smoking at the time? Are you overweight? Just tell me, like, what are, are you drinking? Just tell me what

Paul Samson (24:28):

You’re doing. Um, I’m in the middle of a pretty epic relapse at that time.

Sevan Matossian (24:32):

So relapse. Yeah. Okay. What what’s that mean?

Paul Samson (24:35):

I had about 10 years soap. Well, I had a little 10 years and some days sober and, um, I had gone back out and, um, I was in the middle of a, at that time, those days I was in the middle of a pretty bad run for myself. So, um, I was, I mean, abusing my body as a Amanda statement, you know?

Sevan Matossian (24:54):

So, so at 36 you were 10 years sober. You’d gotten sober around 26.

Paul Samson (25:00):


Sevan Matossian (25:01):

And, and, and what, and what were you doing? What were you doing like in this relapse? How does a relapse happen and, and how quickly does it just pick up and what were you doing?

Paul Samson (25:09):

I mean, myself or my beliefs with, uh, the disease I have, I consider, you know, it’s definitely a mental health issue. Um, it was progressive. I was extremely active in my sobriety and, um, my life had changed tremendously and, um, and all the things that, uh, sort of get real complacent sort believe in kind of my own hype within the industry that I was in. And ultimately, I, I put a pretty much put a wedge between myself and all the things that I was doing to, uh, actively stay sober and due to some heavy personal things that had happened. I ended up going back out and it was, I battled this disease since I was about 12, 13 years old is when I first started using, and I’ve had some STS of sobriety, but by far, this was the worst run I had ever been on.

Sevan Matossian (25:56):

Wow, wow.

Paul Samson (25:59):

Yeah, it, it, you know, like it’s, for me to say, a lot of people I’ve been doing this so long and, uh, it was two weeks. I can honestly say two weeks of the three years I was out, I had fun. And then the type I addict that I am, it it’s a full time job. Mm. You know, it’s uh,

Sevan Matossian (26:22):

So you relapsed when you’re 36 and in that two or three years, um, that you’re only two, two or three weeks of it was fun and the rest is just a fucking nightmare drug induced nightmare.

Paul Samson (26:32):

I mean, just it’s, it’s truly Oxy Mor. I mean, I like, I use methamphetamine and I use fentanyl and heroin, and it’s either I’m smoking too much fentanyl where I’m almost about to pass out, not out. And then I use some meth to bring myself back up or I’ve used too much meth, and now I’m just completely paranoid. And I spent most of my day trying to find that really plush high that, uh, you know, I, I rarely get so.

Sevan Matossian (27:03):

And, and did you do nicotine also?

Paul Samson (27:05):


Sevan Matossian (27:07):

And, and how much were you smoking?

Paul Samson (27:09):

Um, I, I, I I’d smoked cigs, you know, occasionally, but I mean, I was smoking so much meth and so much crack cocaine and, and, and heroin and fentanyl. Um, you know, I I’d smoke occasionally nicotine really nicotine gets me when I’m sober, when I’m not using that’s and that played into the COVID situation, I assume you’ll get to. But, um, during my long, yeah, I was more focused on using drugs.

Sevan Matossian (27:35):

Yeah. So, so you had started to sober up before you got COVID.

Paul Samson (27:39):

So my sober day was July 25th, so I’m coming up on a, coming up on a year sober. And, uh, so last year, almost a year ago, um, I had gotten, uh, checked into detox and, um, yeah, I was, you know, was six, six months, seven months sober going into the new year. And then I was just heavily vaping and, um,

Sevan Matossian (28:01):

Oh, what, and, and with the Juul,

Paul Samson (28:04):

Uh, li like those, I mean, there’s a ton of different products out there. Um, but yeah, I was, I think I had like 60 vapes in my house, like before I checked into the hot 60 yeah. 60, I had ’em everywhere. I mean, the last thing you won’t do is run outta one of those things. They’re

Sevan Matossian (28:18):

So, right,

Paul Samson (28:19):

Right. I mean, most people, you know, you go outside to smoke when you start vaping, you’re vaping in bed. Yep. Fucking vaping. Oh, sorry. It would’ve been CU vaping in the, the shower. Yeah. You know, I would literally I’d stick them in the couch or put ’em under the pillow, just so I know I had one there while wherever I was laying or hanging out,

Sevan Matossian (28:36):

I, I had a really short stint with vaping. Mm-hmm <affirmative> I fuck with the Juul a little bit. And the mangoes. And, um, I would vape while I was having sex

Paul Samson (28:44):

<laugh> I would wake up in the middle of the night. It would be pretty,

Sevan Matossian (28:48):

I would get it to get ready to make sure, like, if I was like, oh, we’re gonna bone, hold on. Let me get my Juul. And I’d it. By the bedside, it was fucking nuts.

Paul Samson (28:55):

I, I would tell people, they used to all the Juul used to be black, or, you know, the original one was black and I stopped buying any, any of those. I wanted like the brightest color. Cause you lose ’em in the dark. I wake up in the middle night.

Sevan Matossian (29:07):


Paul Samson (29:08):

I’d knock over my light stand trying to find that thing. It was bad.

Sevan Matossian (29:13):

Okay. So I’m gonna go, I wanna, I really wanna hear about this, this, um, what happened as COVID like, how it fucking, you get it and it creeps into your shit, but for, can I go back even younger? Why, why, um, when you were 13, why did you start doing drugs?

Paul Samson (29:30):

Um, you know, I, I, I was kind of a Noma in the sense for kind of a latchkey kid and, um,

Sevan Matossian (29:38):


Paul Samson (29:39):

Or orange county at that time, Uhhuh <affirmative> orange county. I had a neighbor that, um, his family owned a restaurant here in Newport beach and he was a sophomore when I was like a seventh grader. And, uh, I was hang with those guys and, you know, for some reason they always like the guys like to get the young kid high. And I, you know, I wasn’t fighting it in any way. And, uh, that was kind of the first exposure to it.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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