#370 – Khan Porter

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Sevan Matossian (00:03):

Bam we’re live Hector Devesh Corey. I, uh, I did that’s two days in a row where I hit the go live button, but I didn’t have my picture up. Uh, just, okay. You need to be Mr. Porter, dear con I’m Chrome. You need to be on Chrome. So I have this, I basically, this podcast starts at 7:00 AM, Pacific standard time, more or less, and, uh, I’d say 89% of the time. And so what happens is I have this like total routine. I do. I set my alarm for six, the 30, no, sorry. 6:00 AM Pacific standard time. I get up, I drink a cup of coffee. Um, I open all the blinds. I try to respond to a bunch of DM, especially I look for the guests. I’ve invited the day before to see if they’ve responded. And then, um, at 6:30 AM Pacific standard time. I jump in the shower up Peru.

Sevan Matossian (01:09):

Good evening from Corey Leonard, Bruce Wayne, Adam Blakeley. Good morning. And then, so, so then I jump in the shower and I try to get out like quick. I try to make it like a, you know, uh, it’s not like I wash my ass, my crotch, my armpits, that’s it. And, uh, and I shower before I go to bed, it’s just like to, to weigh. Right. And, uh, so now I’ve had a cup of coffee. I’ve opened the blinds. And so then from there I, uh, come into my office and I turn on the computer and I send the link to the guest. The dog comes outside and he pees while I’m doing that. And, um, from there I go back inside and uh, oh. And when I come in to turn on my computer and send the link to the guest, I also bring in my show notes and my coffee. And so what I do with my coffee is, is it’s like, this is my second cup of coffee for the day. And it has like two shots of espresso down here. And then I fill the rest with hot water paper, street, coffee. Oh yeah. Gotcha.

Sevan Matossian (02:07):

I think you get 10% off. If you use the name seven over there and supporting them is like supporting us. You have to know that, like, it really, really, really, really is. It’s a great way to support us. You pay him. And then he’s like, oh, that’s a good investment for me to support the sub podcast. And then he keeps paying us. And then that lets us pay for all the shit that this, this stuff costs. So then I, so then I come back in here, like ideally like at 6 49, 6 50, like it’s, it’s hopefully like just a quick turnaround no later than 6 55. But sometimes I just, I don’t know why, but I’ve been just, I’m pushing the limits further and further. So like just now I rolled in here and exactly. It’s

Sevan Matossian (03:00):

So casual center, Steve Jake, I watched, uh, Mr. Hiller. Good morning. I watched, um, uh, the, the exchange between, um, bill Mauer and, uh, Joe Rogan yesterday. And you can just see where they’ve gone so wrong and, and, and it’s, it’s, it’s where Canadians have gone wrong too. I saw funny video. I saw funny video this morning of Michelle Lara. If you wanna watch that CrossFit games video that they made of her, she’s talking basically about how no one can tell her what to do. Like if you tell her what to do, she’ll push the opposite way,

Sevan Matossian (03:35):

But

Sevan Matossian (03:35):

She’s wearing a mask in the video. It’s so absurd. It’s so absurd. It’s oh, absurd. It’s such a contradiction. I, I was embarrassed for beautifully shot. Um,

Sevan Matossian (03:53):

But, but,

Sevan Matossian (03:54):

But bill Maer and Joe Rogan, they basically in the clip that I saw, the 11 minute clip I saw, they’re basically saying that they are still liberals, but the left is changed and, and, and they’re totally, they’re totally missing the point. They’re totally missing the point. Mr. Pecan Porter.

Khan Porter (04:11):

Hello. Sorry about that, mate.

Sevan Matossian (04:12):

Dude. It’s not a, not even the good thing about my mouth is that it will just run

Khan Porter (04:18):

Perfect, mate. Me and you both talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles.

Sevan Matossian (04:23):

Um, is your Instagram the, This,

Khan Porter (04:30):

No, my Instagram is at, I am. Can Porter.

Sevan Matossian (04:33):

Okay. Hold on one second. I want, I want to Chan, okay. So I just put the words I am in front of it.

Khan Porter (04:41):

Yes, sir.

Sevan Matossian (04:46):

About that.

Khan Porter (04:46):

Perfect. There we go.

Sevan Matossian (04:48):

I like that. Hey, that’s kind of like there’s, there’s like, um, the seven podcast, the Dave Castro. I am con Porter. I like this.

Khan Porter (04:57):

Yeah. I mean, I’m still trying to figure out what exactly con Porter is, but we’re getting there. I dunno if I’m quite ready for the yet.

Sevan Matossian (05:03):

Right, right.

Sevan Matossian (05:09):

Um, are you in a, uh, so you’re in Iceland, you have been recruited to come there and participate on, um, what arguably is the most experienced group of CrossFiters in the world being that you have Yami, uh, Karin and Annie there it’s, it’s quite remarkable. And I’m sure there’s other people there. I don’t even know who who’ve been in the game forever. Um, but where, so you, you come from Australia where it’s sunny and then you go to, that’s like in this, like on this planet, Australia’s down on the bottom of the planet, right?

Khan Porter (05:40):

Yeah. Yes, sir. It’s about

Sevan Matossian (05:42):

As, and now you went up to the top of the planet.

Khan Porter (05:44):

Yeah. I think it’s about as far as you can travel by plane in kind of like a consistent journey. So we have to fly via either the middle east or a Asia and then usually stop somewhere else in Europe and then come up to Iceland. So it’s about as different a climate and about as far away from home as you can get.

Sevan Matossian (06:02):

Yeah. I wonder what the, um, like the, uh, the stuff that some people think is bullshit. The implications are like, like, like how the, I don’t know, magnetic poles affect you or do you know what I mean? Like different, it’s a totally different place on the rock.

Khan Porter (06:19):

Yeah. Yeah. Dude. I know exactly what you mean. I’ve never been one to buy into a lot of that sort of stuff. So I have no idea what it’s supposed to be. Like. I can tell you though, that training and breathing in the cold socks.

Sevan Matossian (06:31):

Yeah.

Khan Porter (06:32):

Yeah. It’s also real shitty when you want to go out and do bits and pieces, uh, when it’s bucket down with snow or pissing down with rain outside your window. Um, but that said like, you’re exactly right. The crew that I’ve got around me here is wild

Sevan Matossian (06:46):

We’re class. Uh, totally. It needs, there needs to be a whole show on, on the fact that you guys are all there with Annie Karin. And, um, and ya it’s nuts.

Khan Porter (06:54):

Have you had ya on the show?

Sevan Matossian (06:56):

I have not. I, I know him. I, I used to hang with him quite a bit. I used to see him everywhere. I, I need to have him on the show. I I’m a huge fan, huge fan.

Khan Porter (07:04):

He’s phenomenal. Like one of the smartest dudes you’ll ever meet and with everything as well, like he’s just,

Sevan Matossian (07:09):

He’s kind of a Kelly star and a Ben Bergeron and, and maybe some other dudes all wrapped into one. People don’t realize that like

Khan Porter (07:15):

A philosopher and a kind of just free thinker as well. Uh, it doesn’t mind a beer which has always sits well too. So he, he like, he’s all

Sevan Matossian (07:23):

Like, wait, what was that sentence you said? Was that English? He doesn’t mind a Butte.

Khan Porter (07:27):

Uh, doesn’t mind a beer.

Sevan Matossian (07:29):

Oh, a beer. A beer. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yes, yes.

Khan Porter (07:31):

Yeah. And he’s like, he just, yeah. He’s impact on the group here. Can’t be overstated. It’s crazy how much influence he has and just how, yeah. Like his attention to detail across the board, how that sort of permeates into the culture amongst the people and even how it’s kind of influenced my own approach to everything has been wild in just three months. So did I pump to say kind of how it continues to grow with him at the helm? He really is kind of, I think the secret weapon and I say secret weapon, cuz there’d be people that don’t even know him. Um, but of this training group, for sure.

Sevan Matossian (08:06):

He, um, he has crazy pedigree. He’s been around forever. That’s what people don’t know also don’t understand. I mean, he’s like, he’s like Migo, Salo old school.

Khan Porter (08:16):

Yeah, dude, I think that’s how he even met. I mean, I won’t take away from his stories or anything like that, but I think that’s how he met Annie going to the games with Miko. And then, I mean, they’ve been together, I think since 2009 maybe. And that she’s gotta be one of the most consistent and decorated females in the sport, if not the most consistent and decorated. And then you look at EKG as well. Like he’s been with yo since

Sevan Matossian (08:40):

I’m sorry. I forgot dude.

Khan Porter (08:42):

He’s, he’s such a stud too. And so kind of like overlooked when it comes to a lot of the athletes, but his consistency and you know, they’ve both been with the army for forever and that is a huge Testament to him. I think.

Sevan Matossian (08:54):

Um, EKG EKGs kind of the Europe Scott pan, right?

Khan Porter (08:59):

Yeah. For sure. For sure. Like he’s just, he’s

Sevan Matossian (09:01):

Just there. He’s the rock. Yeah,

Khan Porter (09:04):

Yeah, yeah. Just won the quarter finals then as well. Like yeah, he he’s good man. And that the training environment, that crew is just it’s it’s unbelievable

Sevan Matossian (09:12):

Is, is BKG a bit of a mental monster. Is he like, is his shit like, like a trap door? Like he seems fucking solid.

Khan Porter (09:20):

Yeah. Right. He, so he’ll kind of be a workout and he’s just got the most stoic face and then every now and again, you’ll just hear like a, ah, and then he’ll just go back.

Khan Porter (09:30):

And I think the first time that we heard that kind happen in a workout, it was very nice to hear that he was human. Cuz you just watch the dude and he is just monstering and then all of a sudden they’ll be like a, and then all of a sudden he’s back to just competing as normal. But yeah, dude, I think they’re all mental monsters here. Just the mindset amongst everyone is what can you, what can we possibly be doing day in and day out to be getting better and every way shape or form. And that decision making process is you can just see how it influences so many things. And it’s, it’s really cool to kind of have that rub off on me a little bit.

Sevan Matossian (10:09):

Have you, did you remember you and I ever meeting like shaking hands and meeting?

Khan Porter (10:14):

Yes. I actually have a funny story for you. I okay. About the first time that we met. So when I started CrossFit in 2012, I was, uh, studying journalism at university and I was also doing TV and radio presenting at a, um, performing arts place. And so I kind of wanted to do the whole on camera journalism. That was a thing that I’d kind of looked into when I came into the cross fit. I was a massive fan of the behind the scenes. And I don’t know, are you familiar with arm? I’m sure you are familiar with Louis Thoreau.

Sevan Matossian (10:46):

The British guy.

Khan Porter (10:47):

Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (10:48):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He’s amazing. He’s at, he’s amazing.

Khan Porter (10:51):

Well, I’m about to piece in your pocket. I kind of saw you as this CrossFit, Louis Thoreau with your behind the scenes.

Sevan Matossian (10:57):

Wow. Thank you

Khan Porter (10:58):

Questions. And so when I made the games in 2014, I was like, fuck, here we go. You’re gonna go to the CrossFit games. You’re gonna get to meet Savan this CrossFits Louie Thoreau. Maybe you can chat to him about journalism stuff. You’ll be able to riff back and forth. And I remember, but being clear as they, there was like a circle of us sitting around in 2014 and you came over and you had your camera. I think you like asked one question, asked the next guy question, asked the next guy question and the camera kind of came to me and he just kind of stood up and walked away. And my little heart just broke.

Khan Porter (11:35):

Like,

Sevan Matossian (11:36):

Do you, why? I probably did

Khan Porter (11:37):

That anxious as I do. You then spent the, I then spent the next year being like, fuck, why does he have much? Why does this guy fucking hate you? Like what have you done so horribly wrong?

Sevan Matossian (11:49):

You, you know why I do.

Khan Porter (11:50):

I remember that. And then I remember chatting,

Sevan Matossian (11:52):

Say that again. You remember what?

Khan Porter (11:56):

Then I remember chatting to a bit in 2015 though, and that was all good.

Sevan Matossian (12:00):

Um, and where did we chat in 2015? Just like what, what you were backstage somewhere.

Khan Porter (12:05):

Yeah. I wanna say that there was like a couple of just things walking up to the, um, competition arena. I was probably shit scared of you at this point. Thinking that that 2014 thing meant way more than it actually did. And I just need to avoid you because you probably hate my guts and everything along those lines. But, um, uh, I is the nature of anxiety mate. It’s a hell of a trip

Sevan Matossian (12:25):

I’m, I’m, I’m super intimidated by, um, uh, a beauty like very, very intimidated by beauty. That’s why struggle to interview, uh, women. I struggle. Interesting struggle. So I was probably crazy intimidated by how good you looked. I know that sounds kind of weird, but it’s but it’s, I have to tell you it’s it’s like real for me. Like not, it’s not,

Khan Porter (12:51):

I don’t, I don’t dismiss that at all. Everyone has,

Sevan Matossian (12:53):

I couldn’t interview the girls and I’ve had to ask my wife to have helped me interview the women at the CrossFit games before, when I was doing the behind the scenes. Crazy intimidated by beauty.

Khan Porter (13:00):

Oh dude. So I, I can kind of resonate with that. Like I, if I was out and about, and I see like a really attractive girl, I’m shit, there’s no way in the world. I’m going up to talk to them. There is no way in hell. I’d be way too intimidated.

Sevan Matossian (13:14):

And I’m, I’m almost like that around all, all women, like just period. Like I don’t think like, like fat girls, skinny girls, like all girls. I, I, I think are attractive. I don’t it’s like the, for me it’s I’m wide open. And so I’m uh, and they used to joke around about that at HQ too. They’d be like, oh seven has 15 interviews with the dudes And in a way it’s like, Hey, that’s what I do. I point my camera at shit. That that’s beautiful all day, but with the women, like, and, and, and there’s a sort of a, um, yeah, and, and so some dudes have, would have that effect on me too. You know what I mean? Like Matt Fraser does not have that effect on me. Uh, but maybe you do or like rich phony. Does you know what I mean? Yeah.

Khan Porter (14:01):

I mean, I thank you. I don’t even know how to

Sevan Matossian (14:04):

Respond to that. Well, it just is,

Khan Porter (14:05):

I’m not giving a little bit, but yeah, dude, that was, that was kind of my first memory. And I was like, man, that’s gonna be a funny story, cuz yeah, like been a huge fan of yours and the stuff that you were doing since way back in the day. And then definitely as a former journalism student and you know, fan of that kind of stuff, it was, it was really, really cool. And it was cool to see the work that you did when you guys were doing that sort of stuff. And now with the podcast as well. It’s fucking awesome.

Sevan Matossian (14:30):

Thanks. I’m having fun. Yeah. Those, those people who, um, you’re with, um, those, they are all, they were all great to me. Uh, captain Annie Yumi EKG. Well, they were always so easy. I could walk. I mean KA and, and Annie can handle the camera. I mean, they were always so welcoming as scary as it was to interview them. Um, they, they really know, always knew how to like be wide open to me. They, they were really cool.

Khan Porter (14:58):

It’s yeah. They’re so good when it comes to handling that stuff. It’s kind of crazy that Jim, have you ever been to Raiki Vic course? Raiki

Sevan Matossian (15:07):

I, I was there once, but I suspect maybe she’s moved. I, I, I, and um, when I, the first time I went there, I got to basically take, I basically hung out with Andy for like a week and I got to take so many pictures of her and, and film her so much. It was man. I was so excited. It was amazing.

Khan Porter (15:24):

What a place to come and shoot content of.

Sevan Matossian (15:26):

Is it huge? Are they in the same location they’ve been in for 10 years

Khan Porter (15:30):

Massive. And when you walk in, it’s almost like there’s like a viewing platform at the top where you can kind of see out over the whole gym.

Sevan Matossian (15:37):

Okay. So I walked in on a bottom floor, there was a top floor, but I walked in on a bottom floor.

Khan Porter (15:43):

Ah, you might have walked in around the back, but it’s really long, like crazy massive space. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (15:47):

Yes. Massive.

Khan Porter (15:48):

Yeah. So I, it might still be the same place, but it’s, it’s crazy to see just how popular it is. Not just obviously with the members they have there, but you get so many people and they come and drop in and they’re clearly there to just come and watch the girls train. Like, you know, like to think they’re there for there for the team and they’re there to see Annie and cat train for sure.

Sevan Matossian (16:07):

Right, right.

Khan Porter (16:08):

Crazy. They’ll come in and there’s these glass panels up the top and they’ll just end up the top and they’ll just watch film. Some will come a little bit closer and they just stand there and they’re just filming the girls training and it’s almost like animals in the zoo. And so they’re so good with it. They’re so fine with it the way they kind of, they’ll always kind of go and talk to them afterwards and take a photo and stuff as well. And so I’m not surprised to hear that they were kind easy enough on camera and then like, yeah, it’s a crazy environment. So it is such a cool gym.

Sevan Matossian (16:38):

So that’s just known in that country. Huh? Like you could like you, you can go by uh RAIC and you can poke your head in and there’s a chance you might see these world class athletes training.

Khan Porter (16:49):

Yeah, for sure. I mean, I’ve even seen people just turning up, not going in the gym and getting photo is at the front at there’s a CrossFit RAIC sign. Yeah. Right. You go to walk in and I’ve seen stopping and getting photos at that. It is, it is a landmark here. There’s some sort of, uh, I dunno what it is some sort of, kind of saying that the cab drivers it’s the second most requested place to go in. RAIC behind, behind the big church.

Sevan Matossian (17:12):

Wow. And oh yeah. I remember the big church. Yeah.

Khan Porter (17:16):

It’s cool. Huh?

Sevan Matossian (17:16):

Yeah. It was very cool. It like, there’s, there’s all these skylight. There’s like a skylight bubble there on the ground. Right. And like grass growing on it and all that.

Khan Porter (17:24):

Yeah. Uh, no, I don’t think that’s still there anymore at the church.

Sevan Matossian (17:29):

Yeah. Like, um, basic basically part of the church is under. And so on the top, when you walk up to the church, weren’t there just tons of skylights that go down to the ground. No, no, maybe

Khan Porter (17:40):

I think that’s the one, unless they’ve taken it away. They’ve just changed the door though. And it’s got a bright red door with a symbol, very similar to the one on your shirt. It’s very cool.

Sevan Matossian (17:47):

Oh, good, good. This is where I got that idea from there.

Khan Porter (17:51):

Oh no mythology church. Well it kind, it’s not, it’s a Catholic church or a Christian Church, but I think it’s looked very north and very mythological kind of door.

Sevan Matossian (18:01):

Um, how do you get it’s you and did you know, to before this?

Khan Porter (18:06):

So I knew toll sort of through Austin, through Kotler and the underdogs crew. And then I got to hang with him at the games last year when we went, were on the demo team.

Sevan Matossian (18:16):

Okay.

Khan Porter (18:17):

Yeah. Wow.

Sevan Matossian (18:18):

But then you were on the demo team last year.

Khan Porter (18:20):

Yeah. Me to and Newbury. That was a lot fun.

Sevan Matossian (18:24):

Yeah. That’s the last, uh, you got the last bit of Castro.

Khan Porter (18:28):

Yeah, man. That That’s fucking Even think about. That was yeah, dude, man, it’s not gonna be that surely. Oh man. It’s not gonna be the same without a demo team of yours. That was such a cool experience, dude, to have done the games kind of team and individual, and then to have got to do that. Which now you say that makes it even more kind of crazy to think about getting like the last let’s call it the proper demo team with Dave man. Fuck. That’s that makes the experience even more, more, more kind of special.

Sevan Matossian (19:02):

You guys have a, the, the demo team has a very unique relationship with Dave. I don’t think people realize it, right? Yeah.

Khan Porter (19:08):

You get to see, I mean, I’ve always really liked and really liked the way that he kind of did things and games put the tests together and have only had really good experiences with him. So I was excited to go, but the level of appreciation I had for him after doing that and getting to see the games almost through his lens and through that kind of demo team. Oh dude, it was, it yeah. Was even cooler and it really gave such a greater appreciation for the amount of effort that he puts into the tests and just what the games meant to him. Like as a, as an entire thing, as an entire concept, it is a very cool, cool role.

Sevan Matossian (19:47):

The, the, you see some like if, if someone like, when people come and see my gym at my house, it’s on, it’s on social media a lot. And when people come, they’re always like, oh, it’s so much smaller in person. But um, the games is the opposite. When you get to look behind the, behind the curtain, you’re like, holy shit. I had no idea. Right. It’s bigger than you even could imagine,

Khan Porter (20:07):

Dude. It’s wow. The amount of work that everyone that’s involved is putting in it’s yeah. It, you really have to say it to understand it. And you don’t, when you’re an athlete, you walk you’re in the back room, you warm up, you walk out that little thing past, like going Madison. Now you go past the fans in that area, you do your workout, you might hear a briefing. Then you kind of walk back and do your own thing. So you, you, you understand the size of it. And especially having in LA as well, but yeah. To kind of see behind the curtain like that. Yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s wild.

Sevan Matossian (20:42):

So there’s so many questions fighting to come,

Khan Porter (20:46):

Go tonight

Sevan Matossian (20:48):

To, to, to come to the front. Um, you you’ve been to the cross the game six times.

Khan Porter (20:52):

Yes.

Sevan Matossian (20:53):

Is, is this, is, is this gonna be the most unique experience is, is this event with where you are in your head space and, and we’ll get to that, um, where you are in your head space, but with where you are in or head space and being around this Iceland, this team in Iceland, do you think that this is a new con Porter? Oh, absolutely. Think this is gonna be like a whole, like if every year you’ve been taking a Ferrari to the games this year, you’re taking a whole new beast,

Sevan Matossian (21:23):

Super Tesla,

Khan Porter (21:25):

Super Tesla. There we go.

Sevan Matossian (21:26):

I couldn’t

Khan Porter (21:30):

On electricity mate. Yeah. Honestly,

Sevan Matossian (21:33):

Very the content that’s coming out makes it sound like, like you’re being rebuilt better than ever before. Like the hundred

Khan Porter (21:39):

Percent, this is without a doubt. And in so many different ways, like I was very much, I mean, this was kind of the perfect opportunity for what, where I was at competitively per personally in every kind of aspect of my life when this popped up. It was a very quick yes for me. And I think that was, I think I was last pick and they’d gone through a few people and then it was kind of like getting destined, wow,

Khan Porter (22:01):

Who the hell can we get to jump in last minute? Cause I didn’t get the call up until Christmas day boxing day. And then I was due to go a whater two weeks after that. So it was basically a two week turnaround between me getting the call up and jumping on a plane, but it was just the right time for me to do something like this. And I kind of knew coming into this season that if I wanted to have another crack either individually or whether I found a team or something along those lines, I was gonna have to go, let’s call it all in. I was gonna have to put in full effort into this season and I was gonna have to approach it in a way that I hadn’t done before maybe. And except the first year that I kind of made the games in 2014, from 13 to 14.

Khan Porter (22:45):

And the issue with that was, was Sydney and where I was gonna be the best environment me for me to do that. And there was a couple of options floated around to kind of go and train elsewhere and to go, maybe even to go to Vegas with Justin Kotler, cuz he is a very good friend of mine. Um, and to kind of have an approach like that. But I still, I was kind of still on the fence about exactly what I was going to do. So when this opportunity presented itself, it was a very quick yes for me. And then it was kind of like after I’d said yes, all the reasons that was the best decision kind of started to fall into place. And yeah, a big part of that was definitely being able to be put myself in an environment that was conducive to me, getting better and wanting to get better, minimal distractions, holding myself accountable to another group of people and to a group of people that were levels above.

Khan Porter (23:39):

You know, Annie obviously came third last year at the game. She’s the benchmark in this team when you’re going into the gym day to like, that’s the benchmark, you can’t help, but make better decisions like ongoing, make better decisions to kind of move yourself towards that and to keep up with her in that respect. And then, yeah, man, it’s been challenging in a lot of ways being here and adjusting to know a lot of different lifestyle things. But again, I just think that I was in the right place in my life. Um, personally and I had the right kind of, uh, mentally I was ready to take on the responsibility and also the, I can’t even think, I can’t think of the word, but like to be able to deal with the potential failure of going all in on something like this. And then let’s say we don’t, we aren’t successful in our role to be able to kind of go, okay. Uh, I, I went all in and there was no backup and this was a hundred percent effort and if a hundred percent’s not good enough, then you process that and move on. And I think I’m kind of in a really cool place with that. And it’s been a really cool adventure.

Sevan Matossian (24:49):

You, you said that you weren’t the first choice does part of that since you know that as part of you, like, can you use that as fuel? Like, okay, I’ll show you I’ll show you why I should have been the first choice motherfucker.

Khan Porter (25:03):

Yeah. I mean, I’ve never thought of it like that. I kind of just looked at it like I’m very much, if something like that comes, if someone says that to me, I’m very much someone that will kind of go, okay, well let’s try and think through why that was the case. And let’s try not to take that personally, but yeah, I’ve definitely like I’m aware of it and I’m certainly carry that awareness with me in how I approach training. And whilst I still try to make is enjoyable and Kate things lighthearted as much as possible. Yeah. It’s certainly

Sevan Matossian (25:33):

Like leverage it, like let your leverage your ego with it, manipulate yourself with that.

Khan Porter (25:38):

Yeah. Yeah. For sure. There was an element of kind of, yeah, but not even just in that respect, like I think there’s so many ways in which I’m constantly trying to prove to myself as well as the rest of the team that I am good enough and that I’m worthy of being here and that I’m worthy of being in a team that has the goal of trying to win the CrossFit games. And that in of itself is a, is an ongoing journey. And it’s one that certainly has its hiccups, but it’s it’s yeah, that definitely feeds into it.

Sevan Matossian (26:07):

What a trip, huh? What a trip, someone, someone is established as you still has to, to fight those demons. I mean, I, I think it’s, I think it’s everyone.

Khan Porter (26:16):

Yeah bro. I think that’s human nature. I think, I think we all fight them in different ways and we all question ourselves and our self worth in different respects, but um, yeah. I mean, that’s been fundamental part of who I am and since I was a kid, like I’m constantly questioning myself and that’s something I’m really working on. I have been really working on here and that’s, that’s the other thing. This environment has been a real opportunity to start to spend a lot of time on my own, get up, spend a lot of time kind of figuring out yeah. How to kind of have those conversations with myself, how to prove, you know, maybe it’s not a matter of proving to myself that I’m good enough, but just accepting who I am. And that’s been a big part of this journey too.

Sevan Matossian (27:03):

I had this guy on last night named Jordan Levit. He’s fighting this Saturday. He’s nine and one in the UFC he’s he’s

Khan Porter (27:09):

Oh, nice. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (27:11):

And he said, I, I can’t remember who told him this or if he read it in a book, was it, was it him who told, said this? I was so impressed by this. Um, he said you have to stop listening to yourself and talked to yourself.

Khan Porter (27:27):

Yeah,

Sevan Matossian (27:28):

Fuck. And I was like, whoa. I was like, holy shit. I’ve, I’ve read a million self-help books like that one fucking yeah,

Khan Porter (27:38):

Dude. And fuck. That’s crazy. That whole idea of talking to yourself, I’ll extend on that with something that came to light for me recently, I was meditating and every now and again, which she probably wouldn’t tell because I’ve been fidgeting the whole time I’m on this bloody camera, but every now and again, I just felt call, I feel called to just sit with myself and put on some music and just kind of like go deep and deep and dark. And sometimes it’s all over the place. And I was meditating recently and I was sitting in the corner of the room, just over to the side there and I had this music on and I just was hit with this profound insight whilst I was meditating. And I was thinking

Khan Porter (28:20):

Is gonna sound weird. It was as if my thoughts were me speaking to someone else, it was explaining self to someone else. It was explaining my thought process. It was very external and it was very externally projected. And I kind of just like do like I, to the point where I broke down, it hit me so hard. I don’t talk to myself. I don’t talk to myself and I don’t have these conversations where I, I’m not trying to be, or do anything for other people where it’s purely and simply a conversation with myself. And yeah, I’m good at listening to myself. I’m good at listening to that inner critic particularly, and yeah, I’m good at kind of sitting there and figuring out ways to articulate how I think and how I feel that’s process. And that’s kind of, uh, you know, articulating, being able to articulate that for other people to understand, because I think when you kind of go through various mental bits and pieces, like mental health, bits and pieces, you kind of are forced to figure out how to kind of articulate that because you, they can be quite a lonely experience if you’re not able to share that with someone else.

Khan Porter (29:29):

But yeah. Sitting there and being like, man, I don’t talk to myself like where, what, where’s the conversations that I want to have? Like what do I want, how do I feel like without it, without there being an external, why am I so of sitting and just talking to myself? So that’s, that’s cool. That, that was what he said as well. That’s fuck. Yeah. Might, might be some truth to it then.

Sevan Matossian (29:49):

Yeah. I, I, I really liked it. How, how old are you? Con

Khan Porter (29:53):

32 Getting there. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (29:57):

I, I, I, I.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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