#364 – Funniest Show Ever

Sevan Matossian (00:00):

Do do do Good morning, man.

Mattew Ouza (00:04):

Good morning.

Sevan Matossian (00:06):


Mattew Ouza (00:07):

I’m becoming a big fan of the start, the start off music.

Sevan Matossian (00:10):

I know me too. We gotta figure that out. How I, we can do that. And uh,

Mattew Ouza (00:14):

I don’t think we can

Sevan Matossian (00:17):

Not, not fuck it up. Hey, will you pull up mark bells? Um, Instagram account.

Mattew Ouza (00:22):


Sevan Matossian (00:27):

I know it’s not on the, uh,

Sevan Matossian (00:30):

Show notes, but I saw it this morning. It made me think of a, a fun, a fun story. When your parents are alive, you might wish they behave when they’re dead. You’ll wish you behave different. Pretend your parents are dead. Someone sent me a DM last night or this morning and it said change parents to kids. So let’s give it a try when you are. Oh no, it must be, uh, sorry, Sean. Baker’s Instagram. When your kids are alive, you might wish they behave different when they’re dead. Wish you behave different, man. When I, I don’t even like that version. I can’t do my kids dead, even pretending. Mm. But anyway, thanks for, uh, fucking up my morning by suggesting I read it that way. Oh my goodness. You guys. So we have this email coming out a, a we a weekly, well, it’s gonna start off weekly. I, I, I think it’s gonna, uh, quickly become daily and uh, I’m what the hell is going on. Let me see that is that that’s not Sean Baker. Sorry. Wrong Sean Baker. Uh, Sean Baker, the, um, S a w N. He’s the meat guy, the guy who’s like just always eating steaks while we’re looking at girls with like blue hair say stupid shit. You know, that’s kind of, do you know what I’m talking about?

Sevan Matossian (01:44):

Oh, he’s pretty good. He’s pretty funny. Hey, that’s a, that’s a, um, Sean, Baker’s a classic example of a guy. Who’s an amazing guest, but not so good host at podcasting. I think I’m the opposite. I think I’m a shitty guest, but an amazing ho. Okay. Yeah. Look at this, uh, click that one. My medical residency, the great meat eating. Sean. I want you guys to hear this real quick. Well, I don’t even have my headphones on yet.

Speaker 4 (02:09):

Doctor, when I went through my training residency, back when I went to it, wasn’t a good time. You were abused as a resident. I mean, people would yell at you scream at you, sleep physically. I mean, you’d be sleep deprived. I mean, there were some guys that were physically literally hit. I mean, this is, this is normal search to practice. They didn’t do that to me because I was six foot 5, 280 pounds. And then I kind of acted a little psychotic. I kind of let him know I was a little mentally unstable. So if you fuck with me, you might die. Yeah. So, but I mean, there’s some, so there’s somes.

Sevan Matossian (02:38):

He was in, uh, so this guy’s in, um, in, in medical residency, Sean Baker, and he’s saying it got so aggressive that sometimes like they would, they would hit you.

Mattew Ouza (02:49):

What do you mean? Like if you screwed up, they would just give you the old, like smack to the back of the head or something.

Mattew Ouza (02:53):


Sevan Matossian (02:54):

I guess my teacher in the fourth grade used to hit it was cool. Uh, good morning, Travis. Good morning, Alex. Heidi, Ethan. Mr. Jeffrey Birchfield. I’ll remind me to ask you about a workout, Matt, after this, I wanna ask you about this workout that, uh, Keith Walters mentioned, but anyway, so this friend of mine, he’s this old dude. He’s the old Jewish dude still in great shape. He handsome dude, think this hair you ever seen, but probably like seven years old. And he’s walking out of a, a, a, a diner yesterday, couple days ago, he’s walking outta diner and he’s has a clove cigarette in his mouth. Those ones from Indonesia, deja, and it’s not lit. And he’s got this thing hanging out of his mouth, right? Cuz he is getting ready to smoke it. That’s what we used to. That’s what smokers do when I smoke.

Sevan Matossian (03:35):

That’s what you do. You like, you’re so excited. You’re done with your food. So you just put it in your mouth and you’re ready as you walk outside, you’re gonna light that shit up. So, so he is walking out. So he is walking outside and these two people walk in and they say, uh, to him, they start coughing like, like that. And he turns around, he goes, are you kidding? Me? And the lady goes, well, you’re polluting the air. This buddy of mine old you dude is like, it’s not even lit. If I was a black dude who was six, two, you wouldn’t have said shit, black privilege, black fucking privilege.

Mattew Ouza (04:12):

Maybe it’s six, two foot privilege

Sevan Matossian (04:14):

Either way. Just don’t fuck my story yet. But I just love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Say that shit to a fucking six foot two. I say to that guy that co-host with Mark Bell. What’s that guy’s name. See me? Yeah. He ain’t saying shit handsome, dude. Yeah, no one’s saying shit to him. Remember that next time you open your mouth, you don’t have black privilege. You’re a fucking white, old lady talking shit to dude with a cigarette in his mouth. You wouldn’t say shit to a big black dude, black privilege. I wanna make a t-shirt can I make that black privilege? And it’s got an arrow pointing down into my pants. I told you there was gonna be a good show thumbnail. Pick his epic. Thank you, KA. Thank you. I would used to be quite the piece of ass. Uh,

Sevan Matossian (04:59):

Step will you apply for the new CF marketing position? Uh, Thomas RA and I, so Thomas, I’m gonna tell you a story. There was this, um, about the enormous ego and narcissism that comes with being a, um, um, five foot five super insecure little Armenian man with a giant schola. I, my son was in a jujitsu class. He is in a Jisu class over Garth Taylor jujitsu. And I really, really, really, really, really love Garth Taylor and Steven and all the dudes over there. I love them. And this is my rendition of the story. They may have a different rendition and this isn’t like, I’m not this. I love those guys like, uh, call in, uh, Daniel, the kid over there, uh, Paul, every teacher over there is dope. Love them. My, I love that place anyway. So I was like, Hey, maybe there could be an advanced class cuz you know, you got the MEOC boys in here and they’re dope and they need an advanced class and it, and after a couple months there wasn’t an advanced class yet.

Sevan Matossian (05:54):

And then finally there was an advanced class and I wasn’t on their email list. Even though I’d been going there three days a week for two years, somehow I didn’t make it on their email list or maybe it was three years. And uh, um, they did it on a Saturday. They did a testing for the advanced class and my kids didn’t make it to the testing cause I didn’t get the email. So when the school, when the Monday came around, my kids show up and they with the class into two and all these other kids go over here and my kids are over here and, and, and all the humility I can say, there’s not a greater kid in the jujitsu class than um, than my son a, it doesn’t matter if they’re better than him. It doesn’t matter. Like you just add up all the components, contribution, niceness to other kids, ability to train with other kids, focus, um, timeliness amount.

Sevan Matossian (06:36):

He shows up commitment. There was there’s no six or seven year old. Like you could put him with a five year old and he’ll teach them. He has no peer in that class. Just completely off the charts Avi’s like beyond. Perfect. I can’t even explain it like that. Travis BAS kid, uh, Tyson BA the one who just won the, uh, um, he was on our show. The, uh, uh, he won the, what was that trophy called? He won the division two Heisman, that kid we had on the Holland award, whatever, just you can’t even believe him anyway. So the class is going for like two or three months and Avi’s still in the baby class. And even during sparring time, they have to bring the kids from the advanced class to spar with Avi. And he whoops their ass.

Mattew Ouza (07:15):

Well, that’s the most important part anyways. Right?

Sevan Matossian (07:18):

And someone’s like, Hey, why don’t you just ask them to put ’em in the advanced class? And I’m like, no Harlan hill, thank you. Waters, waters, balloon. I’m like, no, I’m not good morning, Tom. I can’t get money. Python song. I’m a lumberjack outta my head. When you have that hat on. Thank you. I’m afraid to, I’m afraid to pull it up. Cause we already got, I know we’re that we’re so screwed already. We just lost the hundred bucks by the way, playing that Neil diamond song. We won’t get any monetization on this now. It’s and by the time you fix it, you guys have stopped watching the show. So it’s,

Mattew Ouza (07:49):

I don’t think it’s eligible at all. The other one didn’t even know it’s fixed it still wasn’t eligible

Sevan Matossian (07:53):

At all. Well, you had to be fixed two more times and each time takes like 12 hours. I just did other fix on it this morning anyway. So, so, so they, they don’t put a in that class and like two months pass and I’m just sitting there, I’m stubborn. I’m like, fuck you guys. Like, I’m not like you guys know how great he is and what his contribution is. You know, he belongs on that side. And finally, Steven, the instructor like tested him and put him on that side. But like, it was a no brainer. But um, what was the question I’m not applying. They already know I’m the best guy for that job. I mean that with all humility, someone said someone made a joke that, uh, in the comments that I was bitter and I, and then I came back with, I’m not bitter ask your mom if I’m bitter.

Sevan Matossian (08:31):

She knows exactly how I taste. And someone said, well, he is a narcissistic, blah, blah. They, you know, they just ripped me a new one. And the thing is, is it’s it’s, it’s not it’s, it’s not that I’m narcissistic at all. All the, the metrics are there. You can see everything I’ve done. You can go back to the accounting records and see everything I’ve done. When I was in charge at CrossFit, from when I started and all the contributions I made, it’s not narcissistic at all. The metrics are there. Everyone knows the people who hate me the most know it. Everyone knows that I could single handedly change everything that’s going on there. I’m not fucking applying for the job. They couldn’t pay me enough. It would require $500,000 a year for me to stop doing this. What, what I mean? Yeah. I would do it for half million a year. Yes. And bonuses and all that. But I’m not, um, uh, I’m not, I’m I’m, I’m not playing, but thank you. I, I, but they know. So it’s the same thing it’s like with my kids. Everyone knows, you know? Yeah.

Mattew Ouza (09:21):

I didn’t trick

Sevan Matossian (09:22):

If you you’re not bragging. Exactly. And I’m not better either. I I’m thankful that I have that this shit to run with. I’m thankful that, that, that, that, that some of the people over there have slept their way to the top. And I, and Greg would never let me fuck. ’em to get higher in PI then Greg, it’s very thankful. Many people over there have slept their way to the top. I, they can think of two that just pop off the top of my head. Uh,

Mattew Ouza (09:46):

Many paths to the top.

Sevan Matossian (09:47):

Yeah. And I ain’t hating. I ain’t hating.

Mattew Ouza (09:50):

It’s not for all.

Sevan Matossian (09:51):

No, But don’t act like you’re the big shit. When you fucked some other dude who works there, don’t get all in your woman, an empowerment shit and celebrate women’s women’s month or whatever the fuck you guys do. When I know you, you should be celebrating wonderful pussy month or the weakness of Dick month. Cause you slept cause you, you had a, why did you say wonderful pussy month or

Mattew Ouza (10:10):

No? No, no. The weakness of Dick month. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian (10:13):

The, Uh, what’s what’s the oh, give,

Speaker 6 (10:18):

Oh, oh, I don’t give a look. I don’t give a,

Sevan Matossian (10:22):

So you are, you’re married. You bang some dudes to get to the top. You leave your husband and now you’re at the top and then you leave the duties there. Oh, I get it. Like whatever, like

Mattew Ouza (10:30):

You do allegedly.

Sevan Matossian (10:31):

Yeah. Allegedly. Allegedly. I just, just what? It’s just what people tell me.

Mattew Ouza (10:35):

That’s sexist dudes can’t do that.

Sevan Matossian (10:37):

They can, they can, I know some handsome, handsome dudes to make it. Hey, um, I don’t understand this t-shirt thing SU I don’t understand it.

Mattew Ouza (10:48):

What do you mean?

Sevan Matossian (10:51):

Well, when, when we would release movies through gro toss at thank you casual center, when we would, when we would release, um, movies at gravitas, that was our distribution company that we would do a pre-release and it would sell on iTunes and the movie would go to the number one. And then what would end up happening would be

Mattew Ouza (11:09):

Put in there, go to the number one.

Sevan Matossian (11:10):

Yeah. Go to the number one. And then, and then about a week before the movie was gonna be released, they’d be like, Hey, let’s do a sale on the movie. And I’d be like, what are you talking about? We just sold it to 5,000 people for 1499. They’re like, like, yeah, let’s lower the price to 9 99 and get more. I go, but it hasn’t even come out yet. And they’re like, yeah, but let’s lower it to 9 99. I go, that’s not fair to the people who paid 1499. Are you following me on that? It’s not right. Yeah.

Mattew Ouza (11:31):

No. I mean, no, it,

Sevan Matossian (11:33):

I can’t, I can’t sell you a car that hasn’t come out yet. And then a week before it comes out, drop the price and sell to someone else for less. That’s just to asshole move. That’s like, no integrity, no ethics. No, I don’t know what the word is.

Mattew Ouza (11:44):

The getaway code’s been out for a while to drop that

Sevan Matossian (11:47):

Down. That, and I would never let them do that. So, so the, I love the t-shirt guys we’re working with life is our X is OG as shit. They’re dope. Marcus is the man, but we did a limited run and I don’t even know what limited run means. And then we did a presale and then the shirt sold out and then we released more shirts and those shirts sold out. And then now there, it’s like, there’s always a struggle to get CEO shirts. And, and, and, and then these ones for the girls, the tank tops, and there’s always like some sort of like hangup or something going on. But then we’re about to release another shirt that says politically homeless, but he ordered a shitload of them. And I’m like, why did you order so much of those and not more of the CEO shirts? Cause the CEO shirts didn’t sell well in presale. Well, what do you mean? They didn’t sell us well in presale, we can’t keep these motherfuckers in stock. I, I just don’t. I just, I just don’t wanna do any of the, um, I don’t wanna do any of the salesmanship.

Mattew Ouza (12:38):

I think, I think it’s hard to,

Sevan Matossian (12:39):

I don’t wanna be like my tip taste. Dick tastes like butter scotch, like, and, and then it doesn’t

Mattew Ouza (12:43):

Like Dick butter,

Sevan Matossian (12:45):

Dick butter. Yeah. Why can’t it just be, um, like, Hey, here’s a, a dope ass shirt. You want it? You want it to be cool. Here’s the, well,

Mattew Ouza (12:52):

I think because it’s the new one. It’s So let’s say, let’s say you ordered 300 shirts and then everybody from the, that bought the CEO shirt ordered 200 of ’em. Right? Yeah. So all those people that already ordered the CEO shirt, you could generally assume they’re not gonna order a second CEO shirt, but if you have a new one, a politically homeless and you order another 300 everybody who had the CEO,

Sevan Matossian (13:14):

I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. But I just don’t

Mattew Ouza (13:20):

What’s that emoji

Sevan Matossian (13:22):

And, and you know why they do the presale because so that you guys have to pay for the, so, so we, we get your money and then we print the shirts. It reduce the risk for us. I don’t even like that either. I’d rather just print. I’d rather just print 50 at a time. If, if that’s what it takes, just being pussies. I just,

Mattew Ouza (13:42):


Sevan Matossian (13:42):

Reduces risk. Something about, it sounds, um, something, uh, my red CEO shirt is going to arrive whilst I’m on holiday. Whilst whilst English, what country are you from whilst you’re either really smart or you English. You’re not.

Mattew Ouza (13:57):

We did get the red CEO shirts out in a much quicker turnaround time.

Sevan Matossian (14:01):

I agree. I agree. I will buy seven politically home shirts. One for each day of the week. I know I want, I only have one CEO shirt.

Mattew Ouza (14:09):

Did we show it? Those would look like, do they know about the woman’s crop sweatshirt?

Sevan Matossian (14:15):

Oh, the crop sweatshirt’s dope. I don’t have access to that, but that is dope.

Mattew Ouza (14:20):

See, we’re making lots of, lots of different garments.

Sevan Matossian (14:26):

Okay. So we talked about, we did the parent quote. We talked about t-shirts we, oh, we have a newsletter coming out. Oh my goodness. So many of you, people have been reaching out to wanna sponsor the newsletter. I so appreciate it. It is gonna be really, really cool. It’s it’s gonna be like the original email end of the day, but it’s gonna be, it’s gonna have a lot of fitness and fun stuff like that. But also like, you know, we would drop stuff like will Smith getting cracked in there or, um, uh, Elon buying 10% of Twitter or whatever it did, 9% would definitely highlight Heidi’s new Instagram account all the time. If you wanna see just a, just violent abuse of people on this, um, who come on this show, go over to that Instagram account. It is so abusive, but Heidi’s a dark, dark woman.

Sevan Matossian (15:11):

All right, let’s start with number one. I want you guys to see this video, this, uh, this, this video, I think explains me really well and explains to all women out there. If you were wondering why dudes are cooler than chicks, this is it. This is it. You’re gonna see this is, this is, this is why we are so fucking, I mean, you guys are great, but for superficial reasons, you guys just have, it’s just for your bodies reason, but we’re just cool as shit. We’re I want you guys to watch this video. This is, if you were ever like, ah, who’s cooler men or women, this is it. This will tiebreaker for youll break it. And this sums One more, one more play, play a little bit more, a little bit more.

Sevan Matossian (16:52):

You see, you see dudes are just good dudes. Like, yeah. He, you, you get arrested. If a woman laid down on my lap, you get arrested. If fun. I just love it. How that guys, I just love it. How the other guy just puts his arm around him or feeds him. That’s what I would do. Like if some strange dude put his head on my lap, I’d feed his ass or fucking whatever. Put my arm on him. We, we know we have to act cool. Oh, but Chevon men are perverts and it’s dangerous out there. We can’t do it. We can’t do it. Whatever excuses you want, you run them. Did I tell you we’re coming out the newsletter. You can go to the, the Chevon podcast.com and sign up for the, uh, newsletter.

Mattew Ouza (17:39):

I drafted in the comments already as

Sevan Matossian (17:40):

Well. You did. Okay, good.

Mattew Ouza (17:42):

And one more time,

Sevan Matossian (17:44):

Nick. Nick writes, uh, this is dumb.

Mattew Ouza (17:49):

Insert cricket sound.

Sevan Matossian (17:51):

Look, look now, look at, look where Nick has his finger. That’s exactly where I was going. Nick. It bothers you cuz it triggers you cuz you know, you want to No one clipped that and play that on the internet. And then look, he’s got his finger in his mouth. I get it. I get it triggered. You made you horny. I get, he said

Mattew Ouza (18:06):

It it’s

Sevan Matossian (18:07):

You pushed. Oh, uh, no, it’s not definitely not fake. Don’t ruin my story. Don’t ruin my story.

Mattew Ouza (18:17):

Have you heard,

Sevan Matossian (18:18):

Uh let’s I’m just gonna burn through these today. I would love to get through this, uh, list. Um, thank you. Wad zombie $2 for it. No, actually we’re gonna hit you up for more than that. Uh, wa zombie probably like thousand a month or something.

Sevan Matossian (18:31):


Sevan Matossian (18:31):

Little fucking link on there. Uh, Will you play number four, optimizing something that doesn’t exist. What’s up Martin Luther king 5, 2 40, Number four, optimizing something that doesn’t exist. Listen, not people.

Mattew Ouza (18:47):

It’s gotta take away my excitement now that they’re all numbered. Not gonna lie. I was pumped. And then now I’m like, it’s too easy. You know,

Speaker 8 (18:56):

The reason step is cause it’s, it’s very common. It’s possibly the most common error of a smart engineer is to optimize a thing that should not exist. Right, right. Um, and, and say, well, how do we get, why would people do that? Well, everyone’s been trained in, in uh, school, in college to that. You gotta answer the question. Convergent logic. Yeah. So you can tell a professor, your question is dumb. You’ll get a bad grade. You have to answer the question. Yeah. Uh, so everyone’s basically, without knowing it, they got like mental, straight jacket on, uh, that is, uh, they they’ll work on optimizing the thing that should simply not exist.

Sevan Matossian (19:35):

Think very hard about that. One people COVID global warming racism, Global warming COVID racism. How many people do you know who are so intimate? A adamant about climate change and global warming have ever read a book that it, that explains the science behind it. You don’t know. Oh, any none of them have. They all heard it from CNN. You dig into, if you dig into that just a little bit, you will be blown away. What you find. Very simple math, very simple logic. Climatology is, is, is, is no better than astrology. It’s nuts. It’s nuts. And so, and so P BA basically you don’t, you just have to, he uses the word engineers. You just have to take society. They give us a problem. And then we start trying to solve it when there is no problem.

Mattew Ouza (20:29):

It’s always an agenda.

Sevan Matossian (20:31):

It’s always an not I don’t about always, but it’s it’s man.

Mattew Ouza (20:34):

Think about the stuff you name. Where is that? Come from the media.

Sevan Matossian (20:38):


Mattew Ouza (20:38):

Where the, they perpetuate it, but they don’t really give you a lot of context. They don’t really give you alternative opinions. And they all like, uh, glaze it over with like, this is what’s good for people. And if you don’t agree, you’re not a good person. So in order for you to dispute this, therefore you must be an evil person.

Sevan Matossian (20:56):

Why would you need to lie about conservationism? Why wouldn’t just point at some shit that real, like everyone wants, everyone wants the ocean to thrive. Right? Why not just point to some shit that’s like real. And so we can all get on board and get on the conservation wagon together.

Mattew Ouza (21:10):

Well, cuz then we’d actually have to do something.

Sevan Matossian (21:14):

It’s it’s just, it’s so weird to me that you would lie about something that, um, could, could be done so effectively with the truth.

Sevan Matossian (21:24):

Okay. Um, did have I ever talked? I, I, I didn’t erase number five, but I don’t know if, how much time I’ve talked about it. Does anyone dehydrate fruit? I want to get into dehydrating fruit. I think I have talked about this a lot. My neighbors have all those extra trees. Yeah. I need someone to DM me about that. Who dehydrates a shit load of fruit. My neighbors have all of this extra fruit on their trees. I just want, and, and they let me go over there and pick as much as I want, but still like thousand pounds of fruit rod on the, on like ground every year thousands, collective fear, stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity towards those who are not regardless members of the herd. Yeah. I mean it’s AMA. Yeah. And they’re all, they’re all like, um, now like moral sticks that are used to beat anyone who asks about them.

Mattew Ouza (22:14):

Yeah. I mean, that’s how you can’t, that’s how you stop it from the being questioned. Cuz if you, if you question it you’re the bad person or you’re a conspiracy theor, it’s just like, well personally I’ve been called that on this show because if I have some sort

Sevan Matossian (22:27):

Of, but you were called a Kahoo, you were called a Kahoo.

Mattew Ouza (22:30):

Yeah. Which by the way, I should have, I should have coined that, that, that phrase became much popular after I said it,

Sevan Matossian (22:35):

Hey, we should have had made a shirt,

Mattew Ouza (22:38):

The Kahoo shirt

Sevan Matossian (22:39):

With you, like having like Hooter’s eyes and like in like owl ears. And it would say Kahoo

Mattew Ouza (22:46):


Sevan Matossian (22:46):

I tell it, look, you could still tell it, look like Suza. Oh my goodness. I saw some templates being made for, uh, the newsletter. It looks so good. I’m so excited. Do you know what I’m excited? It’s like, I feel like we’re growing.

Mattew Ouza (23:02):

We are.

Sevan Matossian (23:03):

I feel like we’re growing. We’ve grown in appendage, even though we can’t monetize this episode. Cause I screwed it up with the Neil diamond song.

Mattew Ouza (23:10):

That’s okay. Hey that’s that’s your version of throw money in the air.

Sevan Matossian (23:13):

Yeah. Yeah. I’m wasting money with that shit. Rain Don’t tempt me. I mean you can see it, right? Can you pull up the Hooter? Can you pull up the Hooter’s logo? You can see, you can see it right.

Mattew Ouza (23:26):

Is this’s walking into my own demise right now.

Sevan Matossian (23:28):

Yes. Yes. You can see, um, you can see the owl. I mean he kinda looks like SU kinda looks like an owl. He just needs some ears. That’s fine. I accidentally bring something up that shouldn’t come up. It’s good for the

Mattew Ouza (23:46):

Oh oops.

Sevan Matossian (23:51):

Let’s see the look. Yeah. Yeah. So that would see where that owl is on the left there. That hoo. Yeah. That would be you. Yeah, yeah. Or, or, or yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It would be so good. And instead of saying Hooters, it would say Kahoots.

Mattew Ouza (24:03):

Yeah. That was the shirt that, uh, dude made.

Sevan Matossian (24:09):

I was with, uh, my wife in St. Louis when we walked by Kahoots and it wasn’t open yet. And there was a lady outside I’ll I’ll actually, I’ll post a picture of her on my Instagram. I’ll find it. And she was so fucking hot and she was barely closed and I do just stopped. I’m like, Hey, can I take pictures of you? And she said, yeah. And I took pictures of her for like 20 minutes. It was so dope. That’s when I knew my wife was cool as shit. St. Louis St. Louis. I’d never even been into Ahoo. Oh, I think I did go into a Hooters once, somewhere the arm wrestling tournament. And it was such a let down. There was no what’s up Nate dog. Oh, I should play Nate dog and Warren G song in the beginning. Good morning, Travis.

Mattew Ouza (24:56):

We’re never gonna make any money off these ones.

Sevan Matossian (24:58):

Let it rain money fools. Let it rain.

Mattew Ouza (25:01):

I went to Hooters one time and it sucked. It sucked because I was like, I think it was like 19 or something. There was one here in double it in my, by Fred was like, oh, let’s go.

Sevan Matossian (25:11):

Wait. There was one in there’s. One in Dublin. There

Mattew Ouza (25:13):

Was one. There’s not one anymore.

Sevan Matossian (25:15):

God, you would think California would never tolerate that shit. It would just be too risque or something.

Mattew Ouza (25:21):

We went in there and like the Chick who was serving us, like instantly knew, like we were young and we were like had no money and we weren’t buying any alcohol.

Sevan Matossian (25:30):

Yeah. Yeah. I like

Mattew Ouza (25:32):

Zero attention. Like zero. Like it was, it was, it’s actually quite hilarious.

Sevan Matossian (25:38):

You go into a place just cuz hot shakes have to come up and talk to you cuz they work there and then they don’t.

Sevan Matossian (25:44):


Sevan Matossian (25:45):

Like the story of my life. Yeah. I’ve never had a one night stand. I never, I never very, If, if, if most dudes hunt went hunting with a gun, you know like the, the parallel for me would be um,

Mattew Ouza (26:03):


Sevan Matossian (26:03):

SL shot.

Sevan Matossian (26:04):

Yes, yes, yes, exactly. I like like the tools I was given to hunt women was a Slingshot with a box of cotton.

Mattew Ouza (26:12):

You remember, if you wanted to

Sevan Matossian (26:13):

Call, I wasn’t explain shit. I wasn’t. I had to fuck. It was it’s crazy.

Mattew Ouza (26:18):

You remember? If you had to call and

Sevan Matossian (26:19):

Then I got into ecstasy M DMA in my twenties and it just started raining vagina. It was great. Sorry. Go ahead. Truth. Hashtag truth. Go ahead.

Mattew Ouza (26:30):

I was gonna say, when you had to call the house, there was a way a, a landline. Yes. So you got to call and be like, you know, hi, Mr. Suza. Is Jill there?

Sevan Matossian (26:39):

Yes. Yes,

Mattew Ouza (26:42):

Yes. Now it’s too easy.

Sevan Matossian (26:45):

Yes. I’ve never even seen a dating app. That’s how old I am.

Mattew Ouza (26:49):


Sevan Matossian (26:50):

I’ve never seen Tinder or um, yeah. Yeah. We had to use drugs. I was part, we didn’t have Tinder. We had to use drugs. Oh my quality

Mattew Ouza (27:00):

Women too. I’m sure.

Sevan Matossian (27:02):

Oh, will you pull Andrew? Hiller’s Instagram? I don’t understand his post. This morning.

Mattew Ouza (27:06):

Major sponsor.

Sevan Matossian (27:07):

Is he? Um, oh yeah. Live college. Let see if I can invite. See if I can invite someone who’s texting me to come on this show.

Mattew Ouza (27:27):

Someone text you to come on right now.

Sevan Matossian (27:29):

No, well they don’t want to come on, but I’m just taunting them.

Mattew Ouza (27:34):


Sevan Matossian (27:35):

Assuming. Can you call me if you call me during the show? I, my I’m my oh yeah, this I don’t. I explain, wait, let me read this to you. So this is Andrew Hiller. Uh, we all know who he is by now. He’s the guy. Um, who’s exploding on YouTube and the, and, and uh, Instagram and everywhere in the CrossFit scene. Former, I think he’s regional regionals athlete. Um, good coach. I’ve heard great things about his coaching and it, and he has a he’s at Hiller fit at Hiller fit. And it says sub clip from my most recent video, which covers CrossFit, mayhem and their burpees on event too. Keep it up with the bats. It’s not just a call. It’s a warning. Uh, fuel. He must have been drunk. Full video is up on my YouTube channel. Um, okay. Let, let, let me, let me, let me, I don’t understand this, this post. Can you please? Everyone. Okay. It’s Andrew. And he’s in front of his car, which is I, I like this. How he always frames it like this

Speaker 9 (28:24):

Come section. Who’s like kudo, the bat stuff. You don’t get it. Andrew halo guy is stupid. It

Speaker 10 (28:29):

Sounds like those guys don’t know shit about

Speaker 9 (28:30):

If you’re watching in this video, how stupid do you think I am? If you’re watching it and if you’re gonna say something like he’s just in this garage, I bet all of his reps don’t look that great. It

Speaker 10 (28:38):

Sounds like those guys don’t know shit about

Speaker 9 (28:40):

Everyone in the comment section. Who’s like kudo, the be stuff. You don’t get a D you

Speaker 10 (28:45):

Stupid. It sounds like those guys dunno shit about

Speaker 9 (28:48):


Sevan Matossian (28:48):

Josh or me just using that. You

Speaker 9 (28:52):

I’s in his garage. I bet all of his reps don’t look that great.

Speaker 10 (28:54):

It sounds like those guys don’t know shit about

Speaker 9 (28:57):

Everyone in the comment section.

Sevan Matossian (28:58):

Okay. SU SU oh my goodness. Suza explained that to me. I don’t get it. He, because he got attacked in the comment, so I can’t understand it. Cause I didn’t see him get attacked.

Mattew Ouza (29:08):

Yeah. I don’t, I don’t think, I don’t think he’s like making fun of Josh at all. I think he is using it as like the, like the other clip that he uses all the time when it’s like from the,

Sevan Matossian (29:17):


Mattew Ouza (29:17):

It doesn’t matter.

Sevan Matossian (29:19):

Okay. So Josh is the Batman.

Mattew Ouza (29:21):

Josh is just a funny clip to let people know. Okay.

Sevan Matossian (29:24):


Mattew Ouza (29:24):

Know shit about shit. At least that’s the way I see it. I don’t think he’s like

Sevan Matossian (29:27):

And how come Andrew Hiller, CENS himself? How come he doesn’t? Um, how come he has

Mattew Ouza (29:31):

Like that Instagram.

Sevan Matossian (29:33):


Mattew Ouza (29:34):

Yeah. I think when you put in the captions, it does it automatically.

Sevan Matossian (29:37):

Oh, the, the, he doesn’t do that. Oh, that’s why it said Andrew, Andrew halo. Instead of Andrew Hiller, like it, it typo his shit. That’s right. Okay. I thought he was doing that one time. I dunno shit.

Mattew Ouza (29:48):

I did a caption with your name in it. And it said Seon, like with a, a, B,

Speaker 11 (29:54):

It said BDP BDP. BDP

Sevan Matossian (29:58):

Is the Cobra. Rhode taught me B.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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