#306 – Hans Kim

Will Branstetter: (00:01)
I know,

Sevan Matossian: (00:02)
we’re live.

Will Branstetter: (00:05)
I know. That’s why I got, I looked, I looked at the top corner before I

Sevan Matossian: (00:08)
Said it. Oh my goodness. Will censor yourself. Censor yourself. Uh, yeah. Um, I, I stumbled across this guy on Instagram, Hans Kim and I was dying. Uh, he is, oh my goodness. His most recent post is him shooting. I don’t see him as a shooter.

Will Branstetter: (00:27)
His cadence is hilarious.

Sevan Matossian: (00:30)
It’s incredible.

Will Branstetter: (00:31)
The way he speaks. It’s it’s great.

Sevan Matossian: (00:35)
I, um, I went back and listened to some of his, some of his other stuff and it was, so it was, he was so different,

Will Branstetter: (00:41)
Like his old stuff.

Sevan Matossian: (00:43)
Yeah. Uh, yeah, like, like I went to like his early Instagram, I think, you know how Instagram, at some point starts telling you how many weeks back you are. And it said like 433 weeks.

Will Branstetter: (00:52)

Sevan Matossian: (00:54)
And I, and I was like, wow, he has really, um, changed. I wonder if we can find a clip while we wait for him? Um, some of his, I mean, he has so much fun. Any stuff, let see what this is pitch

Speaker 3: (01:07)
And just like women, but you can’t get on TV and say and

Sevan Matossian: (01:10)
Just that’s that one’s good. That one’s good. That one’s good. I, well, we had bill dos on who was a comic. Do you remember him? Redheaded dude buff. I remember jujitsu. And then we had, um, Tyler Fisher on, he was a comedian. He does a lot of like the, the jab humor. You remember him from New York?

Will Branstetter: (01:30)
No, it might have been before my time.

Sevan Matossian: (01:33)
Yeah. And, and what’s crazy is, is that, that these, um, they, they’re not funny podcasts.

Will Branstetter: (01:39)

Sevan Matossian: (01:39)
They’re not funny

Will Branstetter: (01:40)
Podcasts. I remember that bill dos one.

Sevan Matossian: (01:43)
It’s not funny. It, like, I think in that one, he was saying like that we got into subject of abortions. He’s like, who cares if babies die? I’m like, oh, I don’t know. That’s even a little hard for me to like, explore like,

Will Branstetter: (01:54)
Oh, I remember that part. That’s that’s why I went running for the Hills.

Sevan Matossian: (02:00)
I’m like, okay. Okay. Okay, here, here, let’s play this. I’m gonna send you this link in the, um, in the pride chat. This is good. This is some pretty funny. I, I think maybe, uh, the reason why I like Hans, um, Kim so much too, is that he’s he’s the, the, the, the racism stuff just is right up my alley. His, his, I dunno if his total views on racism, I think he’s still pretty far left. Um, but, uh, did I send that to you? Or did I put the link in the right place? Logan Mars is on. Okay. Let’s see if we can hear this. I don’t hear it. Do you hear it?

Will Branstetter: (02:39)
Mm I’ll try again. All

Sevan Matossian: (02:43)
Right. Where you been will. How come it’s been so long since you’ve been on the show? Did I say something upset you or something?

Will Branstetter: (02:52)
Super mad.

Sevan Matossian: (02:55)
Ah, what the is going on?

Will Branstetter: (02:57)
Can you

Sevan Matossian: (02:57)
Hear it now? No. Can you Hans Kim? Of

Will Branstetter: (03:02)
Course I can hear it.

Sevan Matossian: (03:03)
He does. I can hear it. Can you guys hear,

Will Branstetter: (03:06)
I can solve it immediately. I know.

Sevan Matossian: (03:08)
Oh, okay. Stream is

Will Branstetter: (03:10)

Sevan Matossian: (03:10)
Work. Oh, here, look at this notification. I just got streamy yard has lost access to your Facebook. Yeah, of course you have, because I went to Facebook to find was going on and do you know what they said to me? They want a picture of my driver’s license to prove my age. How about you? Go yourself. I don’t even do Facebook. By the way, those of you in the DMS, if you send me links to Facebook or to, um, TikTok, I don’t go to those platforms for no other, nothing like personal against them. I just don’t. I, I, I have enough going on with Instagram. Okay, here we go. On

Speaker 4: (03:43)
A hero. They could look up to and not just someone like Martha King, Jr.

Sevan Matossian: (03:48)
Oh, wait, we gotta start. Can we start over? Can we refresh it?

Will Branstetter: (03:52)
It’s been a while

Speaker 4: (03:54)
Panther movie cuz the gay black children a hero they could look up to and not just someone like Mar king Jr. Harriet Tubman or Thur cover my angel, Rosa parks, Nelson Mandela, Lawrence, fish Smith. Dr. Robinson. Muhammad’s a fake person that dress like a cat. Like uh, most people are racists. Don’t even realize how racist they really are. Like this one, one guy comes up to me and he just starts going, like Tokyo took. I was like, dude, just cause I look like this, it didn’t speak your go language. And the post office was right there, but I was on an airplane and I saw a dude reading a book in big, which kind of freaked me out. But then I saw him pull the corner of the page and put the book away and I was like, oh, thank God he’s got future plans. My favorite movie is the black.

Sevan Matossian: (04:54)
Okay. I’m texting Hans right now, Hans. Hi. Would you like to join us 2:00 PM Pacific standard time. That’s California, Baja, California, Washington, Portland. I don’t know. I guess some part of Canada,

Sevan Matossian: (05:19)
We, uh, have the Pacific ocean rub up against us. I live about three miles as the Crow flies from the Pacific ocean I’ve come inside. Met will brander on some software called streamy yard that runs on Chrome. And Matt Suza has invited Hans Kim a couple weeks ago to join us, to do this meeting, which is often referred to in the vernacular as podcast in 2022. Holy. It’s 2020 you. And uh, and here we are, Hey, I watched a video saying that, uh, Facebook’s really? That the metaverse has chance of, of making it well, this you’re gonna like this. And I actually thought of you when I heard it. Um, uh, there basically saying that there already is a metaverse and it’s gaming and the king of gaming by far. No second place. Not Sony, not activism. Nobody. The king of the metaverse right now is the a king of gaming. And that is Microsoft.

Will Branstetter: (06:20)
That’s correct.

Sevan Matossian: (06:21)
And that basically they just bought avision for 68 billion. And

Will Branstetter: (06:26)
I don’t know why you think I would like that. I have no relation to Microsoft.

Sevan Matossian: (06:30)
You don’t

Will Branstetter: (06:31)

Sevan Matossian: (06:33)
I thought you worked there. No,

Will Branstetter: (06:35)
Whoa, no, I don’t work for Microsoft. Are you kidding?

Sevan Matossian: (06:39)
No, I seriously thought that.

Will Branstetter: (06:41)
No I do.

Sevan Matossian: (06:42)

Will Branstetter: (06:43)
Oh. We’re running for the Hills.

Sevan Matossian: (06:45)
Oh my goodness. Will you were me. I’m like, oh. Am I up right now? Am I up?

Will Branstetter: (06:50)
They, they acquired exhibition. No. Wow. First I’ve heard of that.

Sevan Matossian: (06:54)
Um, and, and, and it makes total sense. It total sense. You, you go into the movie theater to, um, see the movie, but you, but you buy popcorn and all that other while you’re there. And, and, and I, that’s the same thing. You go into the metaverse to pit play a game to do something. Right. And, and who already has that? Metaverse and, and didn’t Microsoft also purchase, um, Fortnite? Uh, no, not Fortnite. What’s the, what’s the one. Oh yeah. Mines mine. Mindscape Minecraft, Minecraft boy, that game Minecraft. I’ve seen kids play that. That seems like some crazy 1970s throwback. That’s just, that’s

Will Branstetter: (07:36)

Sevan Matossian: (07:37)
The, but, but they, but I ju this video, I was watching the 140 million unique people get on that every single day and play around in that world with the blocks and.

Will Branstetter: (07:47)
That’s great. I used to mean, I used to play when I was in like maybe 13, 14. That was my first entrepreneurial entrepreneurial, uh, venture was inside of Minecraft.

Sevan Matossian: (07:57)
Why, what, what can you do in there? What do you mean?

Will Branstetter: (07:59)
I used to take contracts for people. I had a group of guys and we would build inside a Minecraft, like just cool sets or whatever, and we’d sell ’em to servers that would, people were playing on. And so they’d pay us to build for them. Like we were like a construction service, but virtual, so yeah. Oh

Will Branstetter: (08:18)
The metaverse has been around that, that idea’s been around for so long. Cuz I was a part of it as a 13 year old. I was making money off people.

Sevan Matossian: (08:25)
Um, E E explain to me Minecraft a second. Um, oh, he said one second. No problem. No problem. You are, uh, I shouldn’t say you are the star. He might not have a sense of humor. Um, uh, um, explain to me Minecraft then real quick, like gimme the idea before Hans comes on here, what is it

Will Branstetter: (08:46)
In general? You can go on. There’s like, you can play by yourself and it’s like, you’re surviving the wilderness. You can build houses and you’re killing animals, cooking food, making, armor, that kind of thing. And then you can also play multiplayer and you can code different game modes. So like you’re playing hide and seek with people or you’re playing, you know, games that we know in real life converted to virtual. And then people, you know, like they did for Fortnite, how they would buy skins or whatever to make their cares look, different people, purchase packages from people and make money that way inside the game.

Sevan Matossian: (09:20)
And it’s massive.

Will Branstetter: (09:21)
Yeah. It’s like its own economy it’s like in with, it’s like, you know, a sport starts up and all these different companies spring up from that sport and start making money. It’s that same way.

Sevan Matossian: (09:30)
Even if it’s like, um, like the stickers people put on themselves and cross.

Will Branstetter: (09:35)
Yeah, exactly.

Sevan Matossian: (09:36)
The tape stuff.

Will Branstetter: (09:37)
Yep. Wow. Wow. Yeah. So me and my older brother, we did that for a couple years.

Sevan Matossian: (09:43)
Um, and, and, and, and what, what’s the currency in Minecraft? Is it, you just gotta get your parents credit card.

Will Branstetter: (09:49)
It’s no, it’s nothing inside of it. It’s all external like you, but yes, parents credit card, for sure. We definitely made money off of people using their parents’ credit card without parental consent, I would

Sevan Matossian: (09:59)
Assume so. It’s so it’s on the honor system. Someone would be like, Hey, I wanna buy this from you. And you’d be like, okay, here it is. Yep.

Will Branstetter: (10:06)
Or they go, you would like create a website and they go in and they purchase it through some E shopping software even installed on your website. And then that’s automatically linked to give them some perks inside a, of Minecraft.

Sevan Matossian: (10:17)
And, and then you give them your code and now it’s theirs and then they change it. And so then they own it and you can’t get it back. Yeah. Like that

Will Branstetter: (10:24)

Sevan Matossian: (10:24)
Wow. Kinda like if I wanted to give you like my bank account, I could be like, here’s my ATM card. Here’s my pin. Well, I guess you would need my ID, but yeah. Wow. That’s really that’s. And, and that’s, that’s how basically I’m guessing, um, Bitcoin two in the whole blockchain and NFTs. It’s just all just digital passwords and codes and okay, now this digital, picture’s yours, here’s the code. And then I give it to you.

Will Branstetter: (10:46)
Yeah. It sounds you have a, some more asurity though with that kind of stuff. It’s actually like the blockchain. You’re what you’re purchasing is actually tied to something real quote unquote real. That’s your number in the blockchain. Whereas if you were on Minecraft, you’re just kind of, it’s a promise or obligation that you’re purchasing. It’s not an actual something tangible that you can say. I purchased this number on the blockchain. It’s now mine.

Sevan Matossian: (11:12)
Yeah. Uh, uh, Tommy Rodriguez, uh, seven one is big news going to break. I thought you had a big news story. Come out. I did. I broke it this morning. Huge. Go back and listen to the whole entire show from this morning. No, uh, yeah. It’s it’s I, I just, I just it’s just click bait. It’s just nonsense coming. Just pouring outta my mouth. I didn’t know what I was talking about. It’s coming. It’s coming. I appreciate you reminding me. I suspect, um, I suspect it’s coming. We just need just, just we have to be patient. I think I did say, I think this week I’m hoping this week. Um, but there there’s tons of fun stuff going on. There’s tons of fun stuff. In the meantime, um, consume as many of my podcasts as you can. Um, even when you can’t watch them, just play them on your YouTube, just hit play and, and walk away. Um, as unethical as that would be Mr. Kim.

Hans Kim: (12:03)
Hi, sorry. I’m late.

Sevan Matossian: (12:06)
Not, not, not an issue. The world is perfect for us,

Hans Kim: (12:09)
Huh? I, uh, was on central time.

Sevan Matossian: (12:13)
Oh, oh. So you’re not even expecting to do this.

Hans Kim: (12:17)
I was early. I was earlier, but yeah, I’m, I’m ready now. I did a couple errands. Um, but yeah, I, uh, I, I got confused on the timing of it all.

Sevan Matossian: (12:27)
I apologize, Hans. We have a crazy audio issue.

Hans Kim: (12:32)
Is it B buzzing?

Sevan Matossian: (12:34)
Um, kind. You sound like Megatron, like, um, you’re gonna turn into a transformer and start shooting me.

Hans Kim: (12:40)
Um, let’s see.

Sevan Matossian: (12:42)
It’s like a, Maybe let’s see if the, the listeners hear it. Do you guys hear it? Does Han sound like he’s um, has the transformer sound effect on his voice? Do you guys

Hans Kim: (12:52)

Sevan Matossian: (12:53)
Is this oh, much better?

Hans Kim: (12:55)
Okay. Well it’s, it’s weird. Cause for me it’s for me. You sound weird now.

Sevan Matossian: (13:03)
Oh, do I sound weird to you guys now? Jared Cordell.

Hans Kim: (13:08)
Hello? Hello.

Sevan Matossian: (13:09)
You mean like it’s stuttering. Like

Hans Kim: (13:11)
I like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Sevan Matossian: (13:14)
Um, are you using that mic as your option?

Hans Kim: (13:19)
Uh, now, so I sound fine right now.

Sevan Matossian: (13:22)
You do. And I think people say, I sound fine right now.

Hans Kim: (13:25)
Yeah. You sound fine. Now. I just can’t use my headphones to listen to you.

Sevan Matossian: (13:30)
Okay. Do you wanna take ’em off?

Hans Kim: (13:32)
Uh, you keep

Sevan Matossian: (13:33)
’em on for aesthetic.

Hans Kim: (13:34)
Yeah. I like listening to myself.

Sevan Matossian: (13:38)
So how do,

Hans Kim: (13:39)
Uh, it makes me feel like it’s

Sevan Matossian: (13:42)
Like you’re professional.

Hans Kim: (13:44)

Sevan Matossian: (13:46)
Hey, so, so can you hear me?

Hans Kim: (13:49)

Sevan Matossian: (13:50)
Great. 305 shows in and I still haven’t figured out all the technical difficulties. What’s this background behind you? This is a bachelor’s apartment.

Hans Kim: (13:58)
Yeah. I just moved in here. I got a bunch of F sure. Actually in my van right now I’m waiting to move it in, but for now everything is just scattered all over the place.

Sevan Matossian: (14:09)
What are you waiting for? Like a friend to help you?

Hans Kim: (14:12)
Um, I actually just got everything in the van, so I’m, I just need to move it in. Right. But yeah, friend to help would be nice.

Sevan Matossian: (14:20)
Um, this blue pillow that’s um, a J to you, I think you might have a purple one too. I’ve seen it in some of your videos. Could you explain that to me?

Hans Kim: (14:27)
This is a neck pillow. I, uh, injured my neck doing jujitsu. Um, I have a herniated disc. There’s like a little, uh, liquid that’s pressing on a nerve. So, uh, if I’m standing up for a long period of time, this kind of separates everything and lets my neck rest.

Sevan Matossian: (14:46)
Wow. And is it effective you think?

Hans Kim: (14:49)
Yeah, it helps me with the pain

Sevan Matossian: (14:52)
And, and that, that, that black thing. Is that like a pump that you pump it up with?

Hans Kim: (14:57)

Sevan Matossian: (14:59)
Wow. Oh man. There’s so many questions and you still have the tag on it so you can take it back when you’re done.

Hans Kim: (15:05)
I just haven’t gotten around to taking it off. It’s from Amazon. So

Sevan Matossian: (15:10)
I, um, um, I had no idea. You did Jitsu. I scoured your Instagram. I didn’t see any, um, Hans Kim rolling around.

Hans Kim: (15:20)
Yeah. I, uh, I had to quit cuz of the neck thing. I think it’s, I wish I could do it. Uh, but yeah, I think my neck is preventing me. I don’t want to injure it further.

Sevan Matossian: (15:31)
How, how old are you?

Hans Kim: (15:33)

Sevan Matossian: (15:34)
Oh, you’re still so young. Um, you can wear that when you’re on stage even.

Hans Kim: (15:40)
Yeah. It’s a little distracting.

Sevan Matossian: (15:42)
I don’t know your job. I mean your job, you can say racist and you could wear a neck pillow. I mean, your job is like, there’s no rules. Like if you show up to kill Tony on that, they’re not gonna be like, Hey, you can’t come back. Right. They’re gonna be like, oh, look at Hans.

Hans Kim: (15:56)
Yeah. I just have to find a way to make it funny.

Sevan Matossian: (15:59)
It it’s funny.

Hans Kim: (16:03)
Um, I’d like to yeah. Have some control. Um, yeah, not just like looking like an idiot, but like, I don’t know. Maybe I could make a concerted effort to, uh, you know, work it into the show.

Sevan Matossian: (16:19)
Where were you born? Hans

Hans Kim: (16:21)
New Brunswick, New Jersey.

Sevan Matossian: (16:24)
And uh, how do you, how, how do you want to, um, I’m making the pre-supposition that you wanna be funny? When does it happen to you? Um, at what point you, your life, does it happen that you wanna be funny?

Hans Kim: (16:38)
Probably when I’m in school and I find, um, a lot of injustices that I would like to poke fun at or just to like get attention and uh, just sort of critique the overall structure of what we’re doing. It’s like, why are we doing it this way? What if we did it that way? That’s where I think I, uh, my class clowning days come from.

Sevan Matossian: (17:02)
And would you do them out loud? Like a teacher would say something and then you would like raise your hand and just say something totally absurd or preposterous.

Hans Kim: (17:09)
Yeah. Yeah. Just trying to break the spell and just like trying to change it up, make everything different.

Sevan Matossian: (17:18)
You didn’t um, you didn’t, did you watch any TV when you were young? Like you weren’t, um, inspired like by Tom and Jerry or just. Loads of Abbot and Costello. Like I watched so much Abbot and Costello as a kid, like Saturday for like six hours straight on one of the TV stations. And I thought, man, I would love to be Abbot.

Hans Kim: (17:35)
Yeah. I, uh, didn’t grow up with that much TV. I didn’t have a VHS player for a while. I was born in 89. So it was a pretty big deal. Um, didn’t have an N 64, didn’t have an Nintendo, uh, whatever my parents didn’t want that stuff. So, um, grew up, uh, without a lot of that stuff. But then as I grew older, I watched a bunch of stuff comedies like Ali G or, uh, Nathan for you. But, um, yeah, I mean, I love Tom and Jerry. I think we were allowed to watch that. Just different things.

Sevan Matossian: (18:13)
Did you watch that stuff for research? Did you watch, you were just watching that stuff and then you’re like, man, these guys are funny and then, and that kind of just inspired you to think, man, I could do this.

Hans Kim: (18:21)
Yeah. It was like an intellectual thing. It’s like, wow, they’re really smart. They can like find angles and find ways to, uh, talk about things. Uh, so it’s just like, oh look, they have different ways of thinking and I can, um, think differently and you know, like, uh, have different thoughts and just, uh, yeah, have really, really awesome thoughts.

Sevan Matossian: (18:44)
I thought, Hey, will, could, could you change his name? His Hans to, if you don’t mind, we have a little bit of censorship on the show. Hans too at DJ Hans, Kim. Let’s see. Are you okay with the censorship, Hans?

Hans Kim: (19:00)
Yeah. Oh, nice.

Sevan Matossian: (19:02)

Hans Kim: (19:03)
That makes more sense.

Sevan Matossian: (19:05)
Oh, I just don’t want I, so you don’t think I’m a magician. I have this guy in the back helping me.

Hans Kim: (19:10)
Oh, Hey, thank you.

Will Branstetter: (19:12)
Yeah, no problem,

Sevan Matossian: (19:14)
Please. Don’t talk to him, Hans, please. It makes him soft. Please. Don’t talk to oh no, no, no will makes, if you, if you give those guys in the back too much airtime, they start to get full of themselves. You can’t Just wanted to show him that he can’t actually rub shoulders with the talent. Like you. Um, are you a man that confronts your, your fears? I I’m, I’m a man that confronts my fears, but I’m absolutely terrified of doing comedy in front of people.

Hans Kim: (19:43)
Um, yeah, I mean, I do, I do confront my fears. Like I I’m afraid of, uh, women a lot and then I just go up and talk to them and just like, you know, just have them reject. Um, but the stage is not as fearful anymore. It’s more like anxiety or like, uh, I have to do this. Oh God. Okay. Here I go. But uh, yeah, I mean afterwards, like I feel a lot of regret. I’m like, oh, they hated me. And they didn’t like that joke. It’s a, like maybe I’m not a good of a person. Maybe they’ve sniffed it out. Um, but uh, yeah. I mean, I’m not that afraid of the stage anymore. There are like certain things that I’m afraid of, I guess, but I don’t, uh, I don’t know. I don’t really have like too much that I’m afraid of, uh, that I don’t do, I guess like bungee or like, like dying or, but yeah. I mean, um, I, I, I don’t really have a lot of things that I’m afraid of. I don’t think besides like talking to people.

Sevan Matossian: (20:47)
Yeah, me too. I don’t like that either. Would you say you’re socially? You’re socially. What’s that called? When you, when you have, um, a social anxiety disorder, like, I don’t like to, like, if I’m in the store, like, I don’t really want anyone talking to me.

Hans Kim: (21:00)
Yeah. Um, I, I just feel like if I wanna talk to people, I can go to a place where people talk to each other, but, um, yeah, I don’t wanna do it in the grocery store all the time,

Sevan Matossian: (21:12)
But, but, but yet you’ll come on this podcast and talk to a total stranger with a beard and on the west coast.

Hans Kim: (21:18)
Yeah. I mean, this is structured. It’s like, uh, you know, uh, this is like, this is what we do is we talk to each other here, but like at the grocery store it’s like not really made for talking. Um, and it’s like, I’m very goal oriented. So when I’m at the grocery store, I’m like, oh, I’m here to get groceries. I don’t wanna get distracted from my mission. Objective. Um,

Sevan Matossian: (21:43)
Let’s be honest, Hans, you don’t go to the grocery store to get food. You, you, I mean, I have to assume if you’re like me, well, I’m married, happily married now, but you go to the grocery store to, um, look at the, um, to, you know, to look at, um, you

Hans Kim: (21:58)
Know, a

Sevan Matossian: (21:59)
Girls. Yes. A PO gaze PO G as they say in the hood.

Hans Kim: (22:04)
Yeah. I love, uh, I love the visual treat that the female gender,

Sevan Matossian: (22:10)
Uh, uh, not, you mean female sex?

Hans Kim: (22:13)
Oh, what’s the difference?

Sevan Matossian: (22:15)
Uh, gender is, um, in your imagination, like if I said what’s your sex, you could look in your pants. Right.

Hans Kim: (22:20)

Sevan Matossian: (22:21)
Be, I’m a boy. Gender is like, like I don’t have a gender cuz I don’t. I Don I would never make, I don’t make stories up and tell myself, like I don’t believe in Santa Claus and I don’t believe in, you know what I mean?

Hans Kim: (22:33)
Yeah. So

Sevan Matossian: (22:34)
Gender, I know, I know. Not real. No, no genders just made it up. I mean, it’s okay to make it up. It’s perfectly okay. I’m not against it, but I just don’t have a gender. I’m just a I’m sex. I just have a sex.

Hans Kim: (22:44)
Yeah. Sex is biological

Sevan Matossian: (22:47)
Cain. Balls, vagina. Possibly both.

Hans Kim: (22:51)

Sevan Matossian: (22:51)
Gender is like, I think like, like I like if I, like, if I was in the gender, God, I would say Michael Benik was the sexiest man alive. I would say that’s masculine black tights, wife beater. You know what I mean? Nice mixture of ballet and Chicano. But, but in the United States they think that it’s gay. So like, gender’s just like my kids would think Santa Claus brings presence. That’s gender. I know the Amazon driver brings it that sex. So anyway, sorry. Where were we? Sorry, sorry. Sorry. I was just, I just it’s it’s a hangup of mine. This gen, this conflation of gender and sex.

Hans Kim: (23:30)
It’s a hangup. Yeah. We gotta keep it straight or else people will.

Sevan Matossian: (23:36)
No pun intended.

Hans Kim: (23:39)
Yeah. I love the female sex. Um, thank you. I love, uh, I love looking. Um, I dunno, sometimes looking is better than the actual thing, like with their clothes on and the yoga pants, but uh, yeah, I’m a bit of a pervert. Um, I’m trying to work on it. I think if I have more sex, then I’ll be less horny in public. So I’m just trying to get all

Sevan Matossian: (24:07)
Sex. I don’t, I wonder if that’s true. Uh, it, um, it’s like cotton candy, right? Like you look at cotton candy and then you buy it and you’re like, this isn’t good. It’s a mess. My hands are sticky. I’m not even enjoying it. There’s some in my hair. I’m gonna get in big trouble for comparing beautiful women, cotton candy. But the whole foods in Austin, Texas has probably some of the whitest variety of like, as, as far as watering holes go it’s, it’s gotta be one of the greatest places to go a women. Right. I mean a in the most loving sense.

Hans Kim: (24:38)
Yeah. Yeah. It’s a good mix of like Texas, you know, uh, pure breads white people who have been eating good diets and been inner know each other, the hottest ones, each other for generations. It’s not just white people.

Sevan Matossian: (24:54)
People though, is it? You got everything there, right? You got Puerto Ricans, blacks, Chinese. You got ’em all. I

Hans Kim: (24:59)
Mean, Austin is pretty white. Oh, maybe whole foods brings out more diversity in Austin is uh, yeah. There’s not as many Mexicans as San Antonio, not as many black people as Houston. Um, but yeah, I mean, I haven’t really been to the whole foods. Um, um, usually on sixth street is where I do a lot of the Oling just on the streets. There’s a lot of beautiful people walking around. There’s a lot of UT students, the health young bucks and do,

Sevan Matossian: (25:33)
And you look and you look very young, so it’s still, you’re not the creepy old dude. Like I’m not allowed in those parts of town.

Hans Kim: (25:39)
Yeah. I mean, if you shaved your beard, I think it could. Thank you. Cut your hair. Great.

Sevan Matossian: (25:46)
And put a mask. Just a,

Hans Kim: (25:51)
Yeah, I mean I’m 32.

Sevan Matossian: (25:55)
Um, why, why did you end up, um, why did you end up coming to Texas? So you, well, let’s go back to New Jersey. So you’re in New Jersey and where do you go from there? And you lived in a van. I really like that. I lived in a van also.

Hans Kim: (26:07)
Nice. I, uh, did it in 2018, 17 and New York city started out there, uh, from New Jersey. I moved to when I was seven years old to Seattle from Seattle, I graduated high school then went to Atlanta for college for four years. Then went back to Seattle after I got fired from all my jobs. Um, and then, um, uh, in Seattle I started comedy. Then I moved to New York for three years. Then I moved back to Seattle for a little bit and then moved to LA for three months. And then from LA, I moved to Austin. Um, during the pandemic I moved out of New York during the pandemic. Um, and then did you

Sevan Matossian: (26:53)
Have any pandemic fear? Do you have any pandemic fear?

Hans Kim: (26:56)
Um, well, in the beginning in March I did cuz New York was going crazy and there was like, you know, there’s like a ship, the mercy. And like they were doing, having a hospital in central park. Uh, but now, I mean I’ve already had COVID um, it’s, I’ve, uh, I think I can withstand it. I don’t think I’m gonna die from it. Um, but I, uh, I wouldn’t want to get it. Um, it’s I didn’t enjoy having it. It’s just like, I, I would try to avoid it if I could, but uh, yeah. I mean, I’m, I’m pretty healthy. I look young, so maybe COVID doesn’t affect me as much. Um, but yeah, I mean, I’m not afraid of it for myself.

Sevan Matossian: (27:37)
Oh, good. Um, when you moved to Seattle at, um, when your parents moved to Seattle, there’s a lot of Chinese people in Seattle, right? Seattle. Uh, did your parents go there? Cuz family was there?

Hans Kim: (27:48)
No, it’s uh, Microsoft, my dad got a job at Microsoft. It was between that and Carnegie, Mellon and Pittsburgh. So he chose Seattle.

Sevan Matossian: (27:58)
Okay. Brace yourself. You ready? Will works for Microsoft?

Hans Kim: (28:03)
No way.

Sevan Matossian: (28:05)
Nope. Sorry. Will there you go again, trying to talk that you guys, I, why do you guys have to talk to each other? It’s like, goodness, it’s just okay. Will we’ll try one time. All right. Um, so, so he goes there for Microsoft and then, uh, and, and you start your standup. There are you, how do you get the, the, the hootspa to do that?

Hans Kim: (28:36)
Um, Joe Rogan and just like disillusionment with any other career path. I couldn’t really imagine myself doing anything else. So I was like, well, I might as well get good at something I actually want to do with my life instead of, you know, just going through the standard and hoping that everything I get, uh, the approval of the economy or whatever the boss that I’m, I, I just was like, I don’t wanna do anything else. This is the only thing that makes sense to me emotionally. So let me, let me just do that. It’s like a lack of other options. I think.

Sevan Matossian: (29:13)
So when you say Joe Rogan, meaning you heard, you saw some video on YouTube where he was saying, Hey, chase your dream, chase your dream, chase your dream. You hit, you watched it six times in a row and you’re like, I’m gonna chase my dream.

Hans Kim: (29:27)
He put the idea in my head that comedy it’s a VI option and that like, you just have to work hard and get better at it. And then you you’ll get good at it if you just work hard. And it’s a rough meritocracy.

Sevan Matossian: (29:42)
Okay, well now I need you. I have to be nice to you now. Will, will, can you look up that word for me? Meritocracy please. Thank you, sir. Comedy is a meritocracy, Hans Kim. So if it’s good, I’ll tweet it.

The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.

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