Sevan Matossian (00:01):
Why Bam. We’re live. Good morning discombobulated. A hundred percent my fault. Looked up and I was like, oh shit. It’s about to be 7 0 1 number 33 from the DAO ditching. Knowing others is intelligence. Knowing yourself is true. Wisdom. Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power. If you realize you have enough, you are truly rich. If you stay in the center and embrace death with your whole heart, you will endure forever. Vindicate Seon. Good morning. Hey, get your c e o shirts now. I’m excited to, I guess it’s not a healthy part of me, but I really do like the shirt with the picture where I look like the Michelob guy, the world’s most interesting guy in the shirt. I never thought I’d say it. The thought of me on someone’s shirt kind of is repulsive, but when I saw those pictures of indicate made, I was like, yeah, that’s kind of dope.
Jake Chapman, thanks for checking on me. Oh, I seem kind of tired. Thank you. You’re such a good dude. Thank you, brother. I appreciate it. I’m so tired. I posted a picture the other day of Eric Rosa. It’s unacceptable of Eric Rosa, son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Oh fuck. Sorry, I’m looking at my notes. I know my notes went up to a hundred, and now I’m looking at my computer and they’re only to 90. Why? Why can’t I get this shit to sync? Oh fuck. All my notes got erased. God damnit. God damnit. Why is that happening? Why are all my drafts getting erased? My 10 most recent, fuck it. I quit no show today. I’m fucking done.
The all beef diet is not going well. I’ve cheated all over the place. Yesterday I went in the backyard and I picked a hundred cherry tomatoes. I brought them in the house. I threw ’em in a blender. Well, my wife threw ’em in a blender, mixed ’em with garlic and mixed it with the beef. I took a sip of some smoothie my kids had. I ate a handful of pistachios. Yeah, but I will say this, I’m 90% on the train and I feel I have some real lulls and energy from just eating just meat, but I feel fucking great. My skin’s getting T, if that makes sense. My skin’s getting more tau. I’m so pissed. I had so much good shit lined up today. I am so fucking angry. I’m so bummed.
I mean, I can wing it. Of course, always. I need another plan. I need another, yeah, I have these apple trees, Fannie Spiegel. I have these apple trees in the front yard and I took a bite. I picked an apple. I saw a worm. Apple that was covered in a worm had fucked it up, so I picked it and then I took a bite out of the healthy side. I’ve done some naughty things, but you know what? I’m really compassionate with myself. When I wake up in the morning, I’m like, okay, keep chugging along. Keep trying. I’m not like, fuck it. I’m going to have a bag of twizzlerss today. I’m not like that.
I’m pretty compassionate with myself. I’m very compassionate with myself. It’s good. Okay, I just can’t get over it. I can’t get over it. I can’t get over it. I had 10 things. My show notes only go to 90, and when I was on the shitter this morning, I saw it went to a hundred. That means my last 10 things are gone and they were so good. I was so excited about ’em. I want to show you this real quick. The lady who runs a birth fit, I’m going to tell you the Rosa story. Don’t let me forget about that post. It’s pretty funny.
The lady with the baby on her chest right here, Lindsey Cantu, Vera Cantu made her entrance earth side a month early and a peaceful home birth surrounded by love and support and lots of prayers from all over. We will share our story soon, but for now, we are hibernating and lying in. We have to give a huge hug and thank you to our birth team. I wonder if she’ll tell that story on this podcast. I’d love to hear it. Good group. I knew Lance Cantu back in the day, way back in the day 2008, and she’s married to him, and then I met her and I didn’t even know that they were a couple, and then she’s like, yeah, my dude’s Lance. I think Lance served in the military. He’s on the L one team. He might still be on the L one team. I dunno what he’s up to, but supporter of the show.
Good people. I’ve always thought that they were great people. I think that there’s people who do. I think I do agree with almost everything she says or thinks, but there are people that even if you don’t agree with them, you just know that they’re doing good shit. Like that guy, Seth, I dunno what his last name is, but that guy, Seth, that comes on the show and his whole life is to educate people on abortion and that it’s killing babies. It’s like, I don’t know if I agree with him, but fuck. What a great mission to have to stop people from killing babies. And Lindsay’s is, I mean, I see eye to eye with her a hundred percent on this, but I don’t want to put words in her mouth. Seth Gruber, thank you, Kyle, but she is a proponent of bringing babies into the world in the healthiest, most natural way ever to set the mother and father and baby up for success.
Fuck the mother and father. Set the baby up for success. And I just love that. What a mission. What a mission. It’s so good. It’s so good. I just saw something the other day about probiotics saying that probiotics are basically pointless. I don’t know if this is true, but I like the idea of it. Probiotics are pointless and that if you want to have a healthy gut, you have to eat the right foods to feed the probiotics you already have in your system, the bacteria you already have in your system. So if you just take probiotics, they just pass right through the system if they have nothing to feed on and live in there. So you need to eat the right foods so that the bacteria or whatever probiotics are, can live in you. It goes on to say that people who are born vaginally and breastfeed have by far the best start when it comes to gut health.
Sevy. We want to send Audrey to Africa as a missionary for mayhem and set up a box over their thoughts. Yeah, just Audrey’s going to go to Africa and be a head coach at a random new box that spreads Christianity and CrossFit in Africa and Mayhem is going to support it and Audrey’s going to work there. Yeah, I’m cool with that. Totally cool with that. Yeah. Probiotics don’t eat. I am not an expert on what they eat, but I think was, they were saying fruits and vegetables and nuts and seeds and legumes, shit like that is what they were saying. Oh, that person hung up. That sucks. I was trying I to hook you up.
Good excuse to set the phone up. Might as well start the phone, Roland. I’m going to need help. Anyway, congratulations to if you do have to eat a McDonald’s, just get a hamburger, pickles, lettuce, tomato, please. Cheese, eat cheeseburger, go big, go cheeseburger, nothing else. Definitely no fries, no shake, just one hamburger. Simple hamburger, maybe double, double cheeseburger. So that’s cool having a baby school. Who else just had a baby? Someone else just had a baby. Did Taylor Self have a baby? No, he got married. Oh, Mary, wow. Look at this. Artificial probiotics are terrible for your gut. No shit. I didn’t even know that.
Vindicate, will she be wearing a mayhem face mask? Are those still for sale on the site? I sent that to Rich. I’m like, what the fuck is this? He goes from 2020 2020. Okay, we’re going to get to Rosa. One more thing I want to show you guys. That was in my notes. That’s gone. God, I’m fucking pissed. God, this sucks. I really don’t want to be angry in the whole show because of my idiocy negativity. I don’t want you guys to have to deal with it. Here we go. I feel like climbing around in my back, my negativity. I apologize. Here we go. A Wall Street weightlifter. God damnit, I had all this shit set up. I can’t believe I fucking don’t have it anymore. A Wall Street weightlifter. We know him. We’re friends with him. Graciano Rubio, he’s been on the show. Look at Los Bonos city council meeting. He’s pissed. I want to know the details of this. He’s not happy with the way the city is spending money
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Created funds in a way that is explicitly not allowed based on the treasury’s written regulations. And now some members of the council are trying to provide cover for their wrongdoing until the city publishes the scoring system they use. They cannot say they are not discriminating against some businesses and favoring others.
Sevan Matossian (11:17):
So what it sounds like is the city is giving money, taxpayer money to businesses, and he wants to know how they’re allocating it.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
When you look at this list of grant recipients, you can see within 10 seconds why they don’t want the public to see their scoring system.
Sevan Matossian (11:34):
Okay, now he’s saying that there’s some home cooking or some racist or sexist ideology or something. We don’t know. I’m speculating. That was used in order to give the money, and it’s really apparent as soon as you look at it. So like everyone on there, their last name ends in I a n or some shit. It’s like, wow, it’s only Armenians. He’s saying there’s something suspicious about the list. More than suspicious. He says it’s obvious, and he wants to know how the fuck the Los Banno city Council is handing out that money that city’s like, I want to say it’s like 50 miles south of me, 70. It’s in the middle of nowhere.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
The city has allocated funds in a
Sevan Matossian (12:12):
Way. Anyway, I want to know the details, details. Jay Hartle, Graciano for governor. I’d vote for him. I don’t even need to know really anything more. Cad, Astro embezzlement, savvy, embezzlement. Hey, hey. No Jew comments. No Jew comments. More like their names. Enden Berg. No Jew, no antisemitism. By the way. There’s other there could bete also. Steen. Well, that brings us to God damn it. I can’t believe I lost my notes. I That brings us to the next comment. You want to know what this, it’s not even really a good picture, but I thought it was funny and I’m kind of bummed it didn’t get more love, not kind of, I’m really bummed. This is a picture of Eric Rose at the ranch. This was the guy that we were lied to that supposedly bought CrossFit, but didn’t he misrepresented himself? He bought maybe a small percentage of it. We don’t even know the truth. And anyway, and he was a world-class douche bag of the highest order moron. Sevy. Did you see the ju joke I sent you? No. I’d like to see it though. Dms are a crapshoot these days. Good morning, Bruce. Thumbnails are looking on point. Thank you, Slater. Stop saying the Lord’s name in vain. Okay? I do my best. All I caller. Hi. No, not hi. Hi. Call her. Hi.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
My shit. I’m horny as fuck and I’m afraid life
Sevan Matossian (14:12):
That someone who is horny as fuck. Can you imagine you’re in your car and he heard this thing. He’s like, because it’s a dude. It’s not. No girl would do this, right? And you’re like, it’s some black man saying, I’m horny as fuck. I’m a freak. And then you’re like, Ooh, I can’t wait to call into the Avon podcast and play that, and then I’m going to play it and then I’m going to hang up. I know it was probably cool in your car, and the thought was cool. Execution was horrible. Horrible. Disgusting. Disgusting. Okay, so this is Eric Rosa. This guy ended up firing me. Him and Andrew Weinstein fired me.
Imagine having a chariot, buying a chariot and then getting rid of your horses. That’s what they did. Just world-class stupidity. It was at the skate park with my kids. Weinstein called me. It was the day that they were allowed to start firing people again because of some restrictions that were put on companies for firing people during the so-called pandemic. You guys have heard all the shit before. I was running the media department, fastest growing chain in world history. When they came in for the first three months, no one told me what my job would be. I basically removed myself from the leadership position and just started producing content, shitloads of content.
I was the only person producing content. I produced more content in those last three months that I was there than I bet you anyone, I bet any single fucking person there has produced since I’ve left combined. I’ll give them all fucking the last three years. Put it up against anyone. Honestly. Someone called me yesterday who’s working on the behind the scenes. We have a few people working on it and they go, holy fuck. I go, what? They go, you are a fucking workhorse. It is unreal. How much footage you got? I said, yeah, I’m not standing around in the back. The other people fucking shooting the shit with fucking Jared Stevens. I want to, the fucking guy. Looks like a titan standing back there. Great opportunity to meet him. I’m not doing that. I see Chase Ingram walk by. I want to give him a big hug and talk to him. I don’t do it.
I’m too busy trying to figure out how I’m going to interview Max l Haj and make it make sense. I’m too busy wondering whether Shane Orr is just so fucking uptight that he can’t fucking, he doesn’t look human. He looks like a sphincter that shits diamonds. Or if he just hates me and is vibing me to get away from him, I got my own shit to worry about. I’m getting content for you guys. You’re going to love it. I started watching the first episode last night. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. It’s horrible. Completely horrible. You’re going to hate it. I mean, anyway, this fucking dildo right here on the screen. Eric Rosa, fuck. He had a great body. He was fit as shit. Him and wine schnitzel guy didn’t. Okay, here we go. I’m honing as fuck. Wait, hold on, hold on. Hello. Oh my God, you’re
Speaker 4 (17:57):
So funny. So funny.
Sevan Matossian (18:07):
And don’t fucking tell me what to do. Don’t tell me what to do ever. Don’t ever fucking tell me. Yeah, that is Eric Rosa calling. That’s a good point. Thank you. Ever fucking tell me what to do, Robbie. I don’t tell you what to do. Tell me what to do. You don’t tell me what to do either. So Weinstein calls me, fires me, fires my wife, both on the same day. Complete shambles. The media department ever since. I think the CrossFit Instagram, the CrossFit Instagram put on, I think it’s put on 30,000 or 20,000 followers in the last year. Dude, they should have put on 50,000 just during games week. What a mess it is over there. What a fucking shit show disaster.
Sevan Matossian (19:15):
Sevan Matossian (19:18):
Ass clown Central. Oh, they think they have one. They think they have one. They got their fucking fifth person now running. They got some new guy running the media department. I can’t wait to hear shit about him. I fucking am willing to bet a thousand bucks that he’s some fucking beta tech dork who doesn’t know shit about media. I’m just so willing to bet that, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m wrong. What I’m not wrong about is I’m a thousand times better than ’em just straight up. Oh, you think that was the Lone Ranger and Tonto calling in? I don’t know.
I liked it. It’s adds to the show. Someone should accuse. I would rather someone accuse me than it being the lone Ranger in Tonto that it be someone that I called, that I told to call in. You know what I mean? I stage that. I know that song too. I used to listen to that song as a kid. Is it? Who was it? That’s not n w a is it? Who was that? I used to listen to that song as a kid. My dad would say to me, my dad would hear the music I listened to, and he would be like, dude, someday you’re going to be older and you’re going to have to be like, you’re going to look at what the music you listened to and be like, what the fuck was I listening to? And he’s kind, right. I’m kind of getting to that age.
I had a chat with a text, chat with very friendly text chat with Adler. I’ll leave it at that. No, Johnny, would you ever accept a media position? I don’t think so. Yeah, I would consult them. I could unfuck them. What I’m going to do for Athena, I would do for them for fucking 50,000 bucks probably. I would unfuck them. Honestly. I’m going to get Dave in here and honestly, ask him why they don’t pay me 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 or a hundred thousand dollars to start making them content. They’re fucking crazy. I just don’t, they know people there know the behind the scenes is going to come out and it’s going to be great for everyone. Everyone’s going to love it.
Even the people who don’t like it are going to love it. They’re going to be like, oh my God, did he call that lady a girl? What a sexist douche it’s going to be. It’s so good. It’s so cool. You’re going to see how cool Don is. You’re going to see how cool Dave is, how cool Bill and Katie are, how cool all the athletes are, how hard they work. The volunteers are in there. All that cheese, Dick shit. I love the volunteers. They do so much for me. I’m so impressed by the Adaptive. I don’t know if I have any adaptive, oh, I think there’s a guy who actually worked for CrossFit, who’s actually, he’s cool as shit. His name’s Tom. I dunno if he works for CrossFit or ESPN or what, but there was a dude there in a wheelchair. He’s in it, but he, he’s like an onscreen commentator or something. That dude was cool as shit.
Yeah, CrossFit’s going to love it. It was so good back there. The games were amazing. Everyone was, 99% of everyone was great. The thing is this too, anyway, the relative to just open society, the CrossFit games are perfect. I mean, open society, there’s just douche bags everywhere, not at the games. Andrew Hill. I agree. They suck. Yeah, it’s so bad. The media is so bad. There’s this, oh shit, I don’t have a link to this either. Okay, let me finish this. And then I want to tell you, well, no, I’m not going to finish this. You know that quiver Instagram account where I pull it up sometimes? I don’t even know what the name of it is, but basically they give stock advice. Do you guys know what I’m talking about?
They give stock advice. Lemme see if I can find it Quiver or something. Who knows the name of it. I’m never going to find this shit. I’m never going to find it. But anyway, and then there’s a famous guy on C N N or M S N B C or one of those stations that gives stock advice. And basically this Instagram account was showing that if you followed the opposite of everything that this guy gave stock advice on, on M S N B C, you would get 642% on your returns. That’s what the CrossFit games media is like. If they just would’ve done the opposite of everything that they were supposed to do, then they’d be killing it. No, no, no, no, no. The music bit’s over. Thank you though. I appreciate it. Live from Detroit. That’s where this person’s calling from. Detroit Graciano Rubio. I’ll call in after I drop off the kids. That’s code for, he’s taking this shit. Just so you know. That’s code for, he’s taking this shit. Okay, back to Eric Rosa. So this is at the ranch. He’s doing an interview here with someone and the person who’s interviewing him told him, Hey, can you get a little step back, a little further? Can you step back a little further? Can you step back a little further? And he tripped and fell and started rolling down this hill. No shit. Now that picture is photoshopped.
That picture is photoshopped. But it really did happen and it was fucking ridiculous. So he’s there doing an interview and the person’s like, Hey, back up, back up, back up. And fuck, dude. He started, started rolling down that hill, this dinging dong. Facts, facts, facts, facts. That’s not true. I don’t know if I’m unviable. What was I thinking the other day? Oh, speaking of unviable. Speaking of unviable. Lemme show you this. You want to see a fucking crazy back on someone? Look at this, back on this girl. This is the Wolverine chick we had on this. Alex Best, Alex with an eye.
Look at this back. Are you kidding me? How do you not want to touch that? It’s like a Jolly Rancher or a Starburst or something. I could smell her. That is a crazy back. And you what? You know what’s a damn shame? I bet you no one went up behind her and felt that. I bet you that day you should go up behind that and hold those, right? Isn’t. That’s what those are for. As she contracts that lat go up behind her and just hold them. I held my wife’s lats last night. No shit. I did like this. We weren’t standing, but I held them then. They weren’t contracting. My wife has crazy lats, but Alex’s are crazy thick.
It’s nuts. It’s nuts. Fucking congratulations. It’s a fucking awesome body. Somebody, I probably should say some mean things about her too, here. Okay, let’s not let her off the hook. So she was on the show and I was like, Hey, as I dig through your Instagram, I can’t even tell that you sell swine, right? I can’t even tell she sells Wolverine. There’s nothing on here. And so she makes this post over here where it shows her pedaling her wares, right? The real stevon called me out. I didn’t call you out. I mean, I didn’t mean to call you out. I was just like, Hey, when I go, I didn’t mean it. I meant nothing by it. By saying that I don’t see that you sell Wolverine except for the fact that I just don’t see it on your account. That’s it. I didn’t mean it was a good thing or a bad thing. I thought she’d be like, yeah, I’d like to keep the two separate. Or she was going to say something like that, right? And so I was just like, okay, so dude, this is the last time I’m going to answer and then I’m going to block your number unless you got a new bit. Hi, call.
Don’t make me block your number. Just reduce your calls to one a show please. One something really crass per show. You know what I mean? You got some racial slurs in there. That’s fun. You could get some two life crew. Ooh, I wanted to eat your booze. You could get that. Maybe some easy E I put my hand down or pants in. The bitch had a dick. Remember that line from easy E and W. But that’s enough. No more. I don’t want to block your number. You’re fun. I don’t want to, okay, Wolverine. But here’s the thing. That’s too overt. It’s too overt.
I don’t like the tongue out either. I don’t like girls putting their tongue out. When I see a girl put her tongue out like that, and the peace symbol, all that stuff, I just think, oh, you’re hot, but you’re uncomfortable with how hot you are. So you do that. I don’t like the tongue out. I think it’s a weird reaction. But I will take, I do need some more of the stuff. The hydration formula and the pre-workout. I’m running low, but the creatine, I have plenty of thank you. Anyway, here’s what I’m thinking. Right here on your back, just put a swol tattoo. It doesn’t have to be a permanent one, just like those ones that my kids wear. Or right here in this fucking goddamn look like you fell from the heavens picture. How about just those things that Lance Armstrong wears on his wrist, the yellow thing instead, you have one that’s like the wolverine color, the blue, you feel me? You feel me? Cheap. Easy surfboard here. Before you post this, have someone on your team photo.
The above transcript is generated using AI technology and therefore may contain errors.
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